It's all a joke until you do the math... then it's just confirmed hilarity.

It's no secret that I'm a little insane for obsessed with my husband. I'm forever hanging around him and constantly on his toes with my nose all up in his business. Honestly, he could stop walking one day and I'll probably be so close behind him we'll both topple over. He'll make sure to cushion my landing before his own and then I'll have to puppy-dog-eye my way out of his annoyance.

And you know what? I'm not even a little bit sorry about it. Why? Because he created this little monster.

That's right, Dr. Frankenstein. Let's not pretend this isn't your doing.

I've always prided myself on being able to take care of... well... myself. Not so much mentally (lord knows that train left the station a couple decades ago... if it ever was stationed to begin with), but financially and physically? I f*cking got this. I've held a full time job since I was fourteen years old and have been responsible for an entire household for as long as I can remember. So, that part? Got it... mostly (we all have our wtf moments in life).

But emotionally? Ha! If you think compartmentalizing every single thing that happens throughout your life and shoving them deep down into the deepest pit of your stomach so you can ignore it... until one day you have a mental break and never fully recover and now you're just a completely different person dealing with a life you have so many questions about and can never receive the answers to is "having it." Then yeah, I got that too.

A little backstory... as most people know, my husband and I met in a little podunk town in Florida when we were fifteen years old. We were highschool sweethearts and when I tell you that man was my dream even when he was still a boy, I'm not just whistling dixie. We were inseparable and had more love for one another than I feel most adults get to experience in a lifetime... until inseparable became separated and we didn't see each other for years. It was hard and sad and quite honestly, it f*cking sucked.

But then, like he's always had a away of doing... he found me and showed up when my entire life was about to fall into ruins. I mean, here he was trying to relearn who I was as an adult and who we were together as people and then I had a complete meltdown and became a person even I didn't know. Honestly, even I had never met the f*cking woman standing in front of him.

Did he run scared for the hills? Probably should have... but he didn't. While most people in general wouldn't want to take on that kind of tomfuckery, my husband looked me dead ass in the eyes and told me we either had it together or we didn't have f*ck all apart. He held my hand and carried me through the trenches. He dried my tears and cradled my body. He fed me and kissed me and made sure he took care of me when I couldn't even think to take care of myself. He didn't have to... it wasn't his responsibility... and yet... you would think the position was made for him.

I have alot of doubts about life... people... situations... but I never have to doubt him.

He's all of it and the it is the best part.

We both like to make jokes about the rebeginning of our relationship. I believe my exact words were something like, "I'm never getting married! No one can hold me down! VIVA LA FREEDOM!!!" Or, something dramatic like that. And he would laugh and tell me we didn't have to be married... we could just be us and that would always be enough.

Sweet, right? Yeah... it was also a dirty trick. I mean, the best kind of dirty trick, but still! I don't know how he did it... I don't know what kind of sorcery he used... but I spent the first thirty years of my life being very vocal about "never getting married" and then he locked it down in less than two years. Well... I mean, he had quite a few years of built up love behind him, but that's neither here nor there.

Less than two years. And in case you're wondering, YES! I did in fact eat crow for my wedding dinner. Thank you very much.

We joke and tease each other about this all the time... but I wouldn't change any of it. I wouldn't change the fact I get to be married to my best friend. I wouldn't change the fact the man of my dreams treats me like a fragile little princess (and yes, I can hear the feminism beating on my door but NOBODY'S HOME RIGHT NOW). I wouldn't change that I get to do life with my soulmate and the other half of myself. I wouldn't change that we have furbabies and have built a life completely unique and special to us.

At the end of the day, I'm not perfect. We're not perfect as people. But to me? Well... he's pretty f*cking spectacularly perfect to me. And to him? Well... I'm sure I'm a little demon but he loves me regardless.

I found my something old. ❤️

With our wedding happening in just a few months (October), I've been trying to check things off of my list at a fairly consistent rate. Luckily, I've had help with that, because who in the hell knew so much went into a f*cking wedding? I digress.

So far, we've taken care of the people that are supposed to be in the wedding (MOH, Best Man, Officiant, etc.). I think Aunt Susi is going to take the pictures and it's going to be at Aunt Poot's house. The invitations are made (#IDidThatShitMyself) and sent out. My wedding dress is hiding at Aunt Susi's (basically the only "before wedding" tradition D and I are following is the fact that he's not allowed to see my dress until I walk down the aisle) and I even got the shoes!

We're still deciding on food, but I've set up to have our cake made and delivered and got the topper for it. I even picked up some dessert plates, flatware, and napkins. Aunt Poot is looking into a tent with table and chairs to rent and she even got us the cake server and drink glasses for the big day.

We still have to get D a suit, make the table decorations (thank you, Pinterest), pick our pups outfits out, buy more plates/napkins/tablecloths/etc., pick my actual flowers out and up (and make the bouquets, boutineers, and decorations), and settle on the music. We keep going back and forth on what our first dance song should be, but I think we have it narrowed down to two, so at least that's something.

Then it will be just settling on the food and drinks (we have to have alcohol at our wedding, because duh) and getting D's family and my friends into town. Don't worry about me, I'm totally not having a nervous breakdown AT ALL. I'm fine. It's fine. WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?!!?!

With all of that being said, Aunt Susi did remind me about the age old tradition of "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" and while we're not going full on traditional, we did want to have a few traditions stuck in there.

Not knowing what to do, I turned to Momma, as I so often do, and found her gold baby bracelet with her name inscribed on it.

And with finding that, I also found.... my something old.