This old gal is aging out of the tomfuckery.

I recently read an article about women in their thirties. Ok, that's a bit of a broad statement... I read an article about how women in their thirties "age out of the male gaze." Seriously, you ever get sucked into a Yahoo "news" article? Happens to me on the regular and I'm not even sorry about it because why the hell not?

This article went on to explain that by age thirty-three women start becoming less attractive to men physically and men felt the need to approach those women less in everyday life. It said that whether men do this purposefully or subconsciously, it happens. Mostly, it applies to strangers, as you tend not to notice the aging of a person in your day to day life.

Meaning, my husband will still find me attractive but no one else will feel the need to talk to me.

And can I just say, I have NEVER been more excited to be turning thirty-four in a few weeks in my entire f*cking life? SERIOUSLY?! People are going to feel the need to talk to me less? YES.

I mean, it's not like dudes are walking up to me on the regular to hit on me (it takes alot of effort to look this mediocre on the daily), that's not what I mean. I don't think I'm so damn pretty people are in awe and I think men are lining up to harass me. THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M SAYING.

However, I did think of about fifty jokes to go along with it and if I'm being completely honest, shit is funny. I mean, where do people get off on this kind of study? Who is lining the f*cking halls wanting to know the judgment of society? Did someone just walk into work one day and get assigned a project and the first thought they had was, "huh, let's see if I can break self esteem and give people some information that cannot possibly be accurate?"

Because I don't for one second believe this is accurate... otherwise there wouldn't be men that prefer older women? Has no one heard of a cougar? I think this is another one of those made up things to get women to raise their levels of paranoia and spend copious amounts of money to try and age like f*cking Benjamin Button.

We age. It happens. Move along now.

Keep the people who love you for you close and all the naysayers can go naysay on the f*cking hill across the pasture. And if anybody needs me, I'll be living my sweet-sweet almost thirty-four, aging out of the small talk, snuggling with hubbs and pups life. And let me just say, it is a good f*cking life.