Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Is it Monday or Tuesday?!

(I'm highly confused by life right now).

By the way, I know that it's Tuesday, but let's be honest here- IT FEELS LIKE A MONDAY. Amirite? I am. It hasn't been a bad day or anything like that, I'm just a bit thrown off with having the last three and a half days off (Dani and I..... and Tony..... got off at eleven on Friday). You know, because our company is closed on all government holidays (Memorial Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc).

And this isn't even a Mmmmooonnnnnddddaaaayyyyyyyy........... type of day, it just doesn't feel like it's Tuesday. Or something like that. Mostly, it's just confusing, because you have to remember to do all of your Tuesday stuff today. And now, I have to quit talking about how weird today feels, because I'm just confusing myself more and more.

I have to mow grass when I get home from work today. I mowed it on Friday and while it would probably be good for another day or two, we have severe thunderstorm warnings out for tonight and all day tomorrow. Which means that by the time the grass dried out enough to cut, it would be like I was playing a game of Jumanji. And while I love Robin Williams (and that movie), I don't feel like I would be real good at that. So, I better not push it.

Can I day drink today? Yes? No? Get back to me on that.  

Friday, May 27, 2016

Let's get the hell out of here.

(Like, right damn now).

Before we begin: Let's get the big elephant in the room right out of the way. This is Memorial Day weekend. It's celebrated to honor our soldiers and military personal who have sacrificed and who continue to sacrifice every single day. I know that. And I love that. However, I am not one of those people that thinks just because you are happy/sad about one thing and not another that you just "don't care." In other words, I love our soldiers, past, present, and future. I am more honored and thankful than I could ever express. And I believe that they should be recognized and celebrated. I'm not sure that I could ever do what they have done and continue to do for me, and I admit that whole-hardheartedly and from the bottom of my core. So, when I talk about being excited that it's a three day weekend for me, or the fact that people are traveling or getting together to have a good time, it's not because I don't care for the beautiful souls that risk their lives and so much more for me, because I do. Just because I talk about other things does not demean my feelings on this. With that being said, remember to be thankful and keep these amazing people in your hearts not just today, this weekend, or Monday, but every single day. God Bless.

Like I was saying, it's currently Friday morning and it just so happens to be the Friday morning before Memorial Day weekend. Or, I guess depending on how you look at days/weeks after work today is the start of the weekend? In any event, after I (not just me, but I don't know everyone elses plans) get off of work today, I don't have to be back at work for:

   3 days  20 hours  30 minutes

Mostly, because Dani and I get off at eleven today (CAN I GET A HALLELUJAH?!). We usually get off a couple of hours early on the heel of a holiday weekend, but in our defense, our office kind of dies and goes radio silent when "big events" are happening. And basically, it's been like that for almost two weeks. Why you ask? Because we live in Indianapolis, IN (at least, work there) and when May comes, the Indy500 comes with it. Scoff if you must, but it's a big effing deal around these parts. Our family has dedicated an entire day (the actual day of the race) to it for as long as I can remember. There's usually a huge cookout of some sort (Momma and I always go to Aunt Poot/Uncle Darrell's) and some form of bet. Because I come from a long line of gambling, alcoholic degenerates. Don't worry, I'm good with it. Afterall, Eric Church didn't write that little diddy- Sinners Like Me -for no reason.

What are my major plans for this three day weekend? I would like it to be filled with relaxation, shorts, alcohol, movies (I still need to watch The Revenant and Alice Through the Looking Glass comes out today and I want to see that movie so bad that it's a little bit ridiculous), delicious food, and no make-up. But let's be honest, it will probably be filled with yard work, tears, humidity, yard work, exhaustion, and oh yeah, did I mention yard work? I'm just kidding. Sort of. It will probably be all of those things, just not in such a dramatic fashion. On that note:

Everyone have a safe and amazing weekend and DO NOT drink and drive!! 

Also, if you see Dani tomorrow, wish her a happy birthday!! She's currently on her seventh twenty- ninth birthday.     

Monday, May 23, 2016

What would Jimmy Dugan say?

(Good thing she plays softball).

As I said earlier, Solae is playing softball again this year. She played last year, but this year has been so much better. Well, not weather wise, but everything else wise. The weather this year has sucked (for the most part) on a whole other level. In all fairness though, it's not just the softball season that's been affected by this weather. If we're being honest, most things have been affected by it. Mostly, I've had to redo a shit ton of yard work. Because hail. So there's that.

Aside from that though, the kid has had a pretty good season. They've lost a couple of games, but to me, that's just a part of learning how to deal with "the game." They're still young and learning the parts that they excel the most in. Solae seems to be a great catcher to me (but she hates it, so she won't attempt to "hone her skills" as one would say), she enjoys being on first base, but the coach usually ends up putting her on third.

This past Friday their team had a game on the "fancy field" (it has lights and they announce their names like an actual pro game) at eight o'clock. And I know what you're thinking, and you're correct in that thinking, I totally didn't want to be out that late on a Friday night (because I like my house and hate people), but we all piled up and went anyway.

And it was cold, and rainy (Shantel was freezing us all by being in a teeny tiny dress that looked more like a cute bikini cover to me), and miserable, but she was beyond excited and they played one hell of a game. They ended up scoring and winning a total of 20-9. They would have won by more than that, but the coaches insisted on playing one last inning so their team had a chance to "catch up" and "win." And most of the girls were immediately cocky and I had to knock them down a couple of pegs by telling them to quit strutting around, because that other team could very well beat the snot out of them with a whole other inning. And once the other team made a run, they got serious.

But Momma and I rode home with Aunt Poot (we rode to the game with Aunt Mary), and she stopped and we got Taco Bell for supper, so I ask you- who's the real winner here?! That would be me. 

Thursday, May 19, 2016

How is it only Thursday?!

(This week has been ridiculously long).

It's been one of those weeks that seems to go on for days upon days and every morning when my alarm has gone off, I haven't wanted to get up and get going. This morning, I actually tried to hide underneath the covers and will the time and alarm away. Unfortunately it didn't work and I had to get up, but you'll be happy to know that Tayder felt well enough to stay under the blanket and snooze while I got everything ready.

I don't know what it is, really. It probably has something to do with the fact that it has been perfect sleeping weather for the past two weeks. Everyday it has either rained, or has been that real cool kind of day that you just want to open the windows and curl up with your pup, watch a little tv, and take a snooze or two. Or, maybe that's just me. Either way, do you think anyone would notice if I hid in the bathroom at work and took a nap? Yes? No? Get back to me on that.

I've been so off here lately that I've owned the movie- The Revenant- for like three weeks and have yet to watch it. I know, I know, you're very worried right about now. Just so you know, I am to. (It finally won Leo his Oscar!!). It's just unnatural for me to be around a Leonardo DiCaprio movie and not watch it. If it was Johnny Depp, I would be twice as worried.

I've even tried to eat my way through this. I informed a guy at work the other day that I wanted to eat an entire bag of Snickers bars and when he asked me why I would want to do that, I had no choice but to reply- "Because I'm just not me when I'm hungry?!" Shit is getting real. All I want to do is put on some comfy clothes, eat a bunch of junk food, cuddle with my puppy dog, watch crap tv (or you know- The Revenant), and drink wine and NyQuil, and take my allergy meds like they're never going to make it again. (Don't worry, only the NyQuil so I can sleep).

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go nap. And by nap, I mean never get to effing sleep ever again. Good thing I wouldn't get all dramatic about it or anything. WHERE IN THE HELL IS FRIDAY WHEN I NEED IT?!!

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

You never realize how many people you truly loathe until you get a new number.

(I knew I didn't like people, but damn).

This past week Momma and I had to get a couple new phones. I say "new phones", but really it was the same kind of phones, just on my own plan. We had previously been on someone else's plan, but as that old saying goes- Plans. Change. And since "plans change" I got just snarky enough to go and get our own and be done with the whole cluster fuck ordeal. It's easier and let's be honest, the easier my life is the more I like it. It gives me more time to watch reruns of Mama's Family and It's Always Sunny that way.

And even though I wanted to do all of this, the thought of having to give out my new number and try to memorize two new ones was just a giant pain in the ass. That is, until I realized that I had been presented with a unique opportunity to "lose people" so to say. You never really realize how many people you have grown to dislike (or have always disliked and were just trying to be nice..... even though that's completely the opposite of every single one of your characteristics) until you have GET to decide who you want to have a new form of contacting you.

And I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Uhh, duh Katie, there's always social media where people can find you." Umm, just delete/block those bitches. Or quit social media (and stop thinking that you can't live without social media, you can, I've seen it done).

I've had the same number for over three years. Do you know how many bitches and douche canoes can acquire your number after three years? If you don't, let me go ahead and tell you- IT'S A LOT. I've had the same guy for the entire three years calling my phone and asking for Boo Boo in a hushed tone. And to this day I still don't know what in the hell dude wanted with Boo Boo, but he obviously didn't care enough to get his real phone number. I guess we'll just never know how the Boo Boo / Mysterious Phone Man saga ended. I don't know how I'll ever move on.

So, there I was going through my old phone and transferring numbers of people I liked so I could text them with the new number and what I figured would be a menial task of eliminating three or four numbers ended up being over half of my contact list. You ever have those people in your life that you think- "You're not even worth being on a contact list"? And then you think about deleting them out of your phone like as soon as you delete their number they no longer exist..... like, at all.


And I must say, it's a mighty fine dream to be living. I'm not trying to sound like too much of an asshole (because boy has that ship sailed..... a long effing time ago), but I didn't even keep some of the family numbers that I had. You know those people. The ones that you're technically related to so you feel some sort of obligation to them for some unknown reason, even though neither of you like each other. Well, I no longer feel that obligation nor do I have the means of backtracking. I deleted them from (my) existence. Not going to lie, it felt kind of powerful. And the only way that I could backtrack would be for me to track down someone who did have their number and we all know that I just don't have the follow through with that. Not even close.

And those "friends" that you feel obligation to, because you've known each other for so long or you've "been through some shit" together? Guess what? Those bitches are out of here to, because I got on a role and started to get a little power hungry and felt like I was about two steps from becoming a super villain, so I just quit while I was ahead.

Here's how real it got for a minute; I actually sent a FB message to a guy that is my friend, to ask him if we even still liked each other at this point in our lives. It went something like- Me: "Hey, do we even like each other? Like, on a scale of 1-10 how much would you rate the amount you want to murder me and hack me into little pieces on a daily basis?" Him: "Good morning to you to sweetheart. What did you say? Hacking?" Clearly he's an asshole that is equally as sarcastic as I am..... so he needed the number.

And I have like four friends that made the cut. Throw in a few family members and that's about the extent of all that. And honestly even that's probably too many, because the older I get the more I really can't stand people. People are just the worst. But you know what isn't the worst? Having a minimal contact list and not having to deal with those people.