Monday, June 30, 2014

Did y'all know that Marky Mark was such a little asshole?

Now, hear me out before you start getting all defensive. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Mark Wahlberg. Always have and pretty sure I always will. I have watched his movies for as long as I can remember, and could listen to him talk for hours upon hours. Those thick Boston accents? Yes, please! Sexy. What? Just me? Well, AL-RIGHT-Y THEN!

Does it look like THIS guy would cause REAL harm?

He has always seemed like such a sweet guy to me. Still does. For the most part. And oh my bejeebus can that man make me laugh. So much! I mean, the first time I watched his movie Fear, well, actually every time that I watch his movie fear, I find myself completely scared out of my freakin' mind. And oddly enough, still attracted to him. But whatevs, I'll deal with my issues later in life. With a good therapist. But still I have never seen a movie of his that I didn't like, and I'm thoroughly convinced that he's one of the best actors, EVER.

 Scary. As. Shit.

With that being said I started watching the show- Wahlbergers recently, so of course, today in some of my "down time" I went to the most reliable source available and started reading all about them. That source? Wikipedia, of course. Duh. Anyways, I was politely reading all about Mark in his younger years, even before he was 'Marky Mark' and do you know what I learned? I learned that he was a little asshole. Seriously, if he wasn't such a mean little shit, he would've got the crap kicked out of him like all the time.

 Wouldn't have guessed it, huh?

I've watched and read interviews with him and knew that he had gotten into some trouble when he was younger, but I didn't know it was to that extent. Damn, Mark. Anyways, after his stint in prison, yes you heard me right-- prison! He decided to turn it all around and focus on his career and help people. Good for you, Marky Mark! Good. For. You. With that being said, I would like to reiterate that he is still one of my ALL TIME favorites and I still love him and his acting. Gotta love a serious man that can make you laugh. And cry, in a good way. Lone survivor? Uh, lots of tears. That, and looks way good in tidy whities. Come on, that's hard to do. That's what she said. Hehehe. What? Yes, I'm twelve.


I have nothing else for y'all except watch- Wahlbergers!! So funny!! I couldn't quit laughing to save my life. I think that Donnie might be the funniest. He's all the time messing with his brothers, and it's great! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the right stuff, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the right stuff.

Friday, June 27, 2014

I need Boonesfarm, Candy, Tacos, and Philadelphia.

Before I begin I would like to introduce y'all to a new friend of mine- Laney. Laney is a sweet girl that runs a very fun blog known as- Night Owl Venting. She's funny and very interesting, with a kind heart and a lot to say. What more reason do you need to hop right on over there and show her some love? The answer is none. You don't need anymore reason than that, so head on over for a little read and chat. I'll wait here for you :)

Back? Told you that you'd like her. Anyways, am I the only one that is SUPER excited that it's the weekend? I mean, I don't have any plans. None whatsoever, but it's still the weekend!! That means reading, binge watching TV, eating a bunch of junk while watching movies, leaving the shades drawn, and most importantly- NOT WEARING PANTS. Can you tell that Momma and I have the house to ourselves this weekend? I get a little bit overly excited when that happens.

We may venture out for just a little while to see one of my aunts (probably Poot, because she's just right around the corner- and yes I call one of my aunts Aunt Poot- just deal), or to get something entirely unhealthy to eat, but mostly we'll just stay in and watch TV. Or I'll read. And she'll be on her computer. And I'll cuddle with Tayder. Basically, a bunch of things that other people would consider lazy and boring, but what I see as heaven. Before I do all of that though, let me link it up with Whit, to back my no pants wearin' azz up.


For a long time I never did rest. I was always go, go, go. And I know what you're thinking and possibly even saying out loud. You're thinking/saying- "Katie! You are a 24 year old woman. You can go and go and act your age". To all of you people I say- You're right. I could very much go out and party. Or I could just go out and hang out with people my age and do all sorts of things. I'm young, I'm relatively healthy, and even though I'm nowhere near beautiful, I think that I may be decent enough to where when people look at me they don't want to throw up in their mouths. But anyone that knows me also knows that I do what I want.

If I wanted to go out and do things then I would. And I do when I want to. But I also like staying home and reading or watching TV. Sometimes I like not putting on makeup or brushing my hair. I've done the go out and party, "social" thing and I learned that it's just not me. I don't like it. And why do something that I don't like? I see no logical reason to.

Oh, let me tell y'all the conversation that I had with the cashier at the store yesterday evening. I was minding my own business and just stopped by the store to pick up some deodorant and cereal (I know it's a weird combo, but move past it) and we were browsing, minding our own business. You know trying to recover from the massive amounts of Mexican food that we had just eaten. After we were done we headed up to check out and this conversation ensued. (Confession: Yes, I do wear men's deodorant. What? Some girls sweat more than others and not all of us want to smell like a damn flower or piece of fruit!)

Cashier: This stuff is great! I get my husband the same thing, he works in construction and boy can he get smelly. Me: Yeah. This is mine. Cashier: Yours? Not your husbands? Why? Me: Because buying deodorant for my non-existent husband would be dumb. Cashier: No, I mean why do you wear men's deodorant? Me: Because it works a whole lot better than women's, and just because I don't have a husband doesn't mean that I want to smell. Cashier: Well played. Here's a coupon.


With all of that being said I would like to say I'm gonna have to hop off of here, because unfortunately I have to be an adult for a few hours. Bluck! I hope y'all have a great weekend! I wish I had more for you today, but I just don't have it in me. Remember yesterday when I said that I need to eat and take a nap? Well, I'm not exactly sure what's wrong with me, but I'm still not fully recovered. All I know is when I get off of work, God willing, I'm going home, the pants are coming off, I'm eating leftover shrimp tacos and pizza while drinking Boonesfarm, and watching It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia and Savages. Because, I mean, hello Taylor Kitsch **winkwink*

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

I fell asleep while curling my hair

Vodka and Soda
You know, I finished reading The Fault In Our Stars in a matter of two and a half nights so that made me feel like I really have my shit together. It's not too often that I feel like that. Of course now it's Wednesday and the euphoria of Sunday nights "revelation" has worn off. Now, I'm just sitting here like a zombie attempting to write something that doesn't want to make me gouge my eyes out. Because Lord forbid I do something in advance to prepare. So my sweeties, I apologize in advance for the crap that I am spewing from my mouth this morning. But I mean, I got to use Ian again, so that's a win, win, my friends.

//My Momma and I cleaned out our storage (mostly) last Sunday and in the process of doing said horrible task I found things that I forgot I had. At one point a mixed CD fell out and I recognized it as the CD my friend Mo and I made when we were seventeen. Wow. That feels like a long time ago. Anyways, I took it with me and immediately started listening to it in the car. Uh, we were awesome seventeen year olds. We had great taste in music. And I'm not just saying that, we really did. I'll be doing a post about it in the near future.


//Like I said up top, I finished reading The Fault In Our Stars on Sunday night and now I can't quit talking about it. (On the blog- I even wrote about it here). I'm sorry, but I just really loved it. I kind of don't want to see the movie for fear of it ruining the book for me. (Even though it's incredibly sad). Has anyone seen it? Opinions, please. By the way, yes I did cry. Through the entire book.



//I totally "friend zoned" a guy at work that has been asking me out for months. I'm sorry, but it had to be done. Wait, no. The hell with that, I'm not sorry. I was perfectly nice about it and I was just being honest. I would want someone to be honest with me. I just don't want to fall into something that I don't want and then be stuck. I've been saying that for two years now, and I'm sticking to it. Besides he doesn't get my weird sense of humor and he turned into kind of a jerk after that so- Sayonara!!


//I was curling my hair this morning and in my zombie state I realized that I was curling the back of my hair (with my forehead on the mirror!) Yes, I was sleeping while leaning on the mirror and curling my hair. Luckily, I didn't burn anything (including my hair). Needless to say, the back of my hair didn't get curled the rest of the way. But hell, it's humid anyways.


//The last four days after I got off of work, ran errands, and got home I haven't worn pants. Yep, you heard me right. No pants for this girl right here. I've taken my shower and put on a long sleep shirt and underwear. But that's all. I've decided that pants are a way to conform to 'the man' and I'm not having it. At least that's what I told my uncle when he asked me why I wasn't wearing any.


//I seriously need to wear my glasses while reading and working on the computer, but the frames of my glasses are so small that I end up looking over or under them. In other words, they annoy the shit out of me and I just can't wear them. I'm going to have to just break down and go to the eye doctor to get some new frames. I want big frames too. But I don't want to look like Sally Jesse or be mistaken for a 'hipster'. Basically, because I still don't fully understand that term.


//Two of my cousins have recently told me that I'm just like Max (Kat Dennings) on 2 Broke Girls. They said that I'm a sarcastic smartass with no filter. The word vomit just flows out of my mouth. Well, I took that as a compliment, because she is hilarious! My older cousin said that it was a good thing, but he might have just said that so I'll bake him some more blueberry bread. Not trying to toot my own horn, but that stuff is delicious. The secret? Blueberry juice and blackberry wine. Shhh ;)


Once again ladies, I'm sorry that this isn't exactly great, but I'll do better next time. Promise! I'm just SO sleepy. What are the odds that I would get fired if I took a nap on my desk? Under my desk? In the bathroom? Just in general? Yeah, that's kind of what I thought to. Damn it.

Linking up with Kat

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Cheap booze, no pants, and emotional turmoil? Sounds like a party.

{1}I'm loving....That it's at least a day closer to a three day weekend. (4th of July is on a Friday this year.) And naps. (I love naps.)
{2}I'm loving....The Fault In Our Stars. (The book version, I haven't seen the movie. But reading the book twice since last Friday? Yep.)
{3}I'm loving....Spending so much time with family. It's been very nice. (Cookouts? Keeping the crazy away? Water moccasins? Yes to all!)
{4}I'm loving....The fact that I'm now boycotting pants at home. (Just for me.)
{5}I'm loving....Cheap wine. (I know that I sound like an alcoholic right now, but I'm not. I promise. However, aside from favorite- Crown Royal, I have reverted back to my old school cheapy days. Boonesfarm anyone?)
{6}I'm loving....That I'm sticking to my guns. (Remember when I said that I always kind of 'fell' into relationships and things, but I wasn't going to 'serious' date until I was ready and found the right person? Well, I made that perfectly clear to dude. I may be a jerk, but at least I was honest and told him what I want/didn't want. I'm counting that as a win)
{7}I'm loving....That I got to talk to Noodle for a long while on Sunday. (It's been far too long since we got to have a long talk. Being an adult stinks.)
{8}I'm loving....That I finally beat someone on that "Words With Friends" game. (Granted I haven't beat Danielle yet, but someday. Maybe.)
{9}I'm loving....All of these new blogs that I'm finding and reading. (And also that new people are finding mine.)
{10}I'm loving....That I thought in order to get over the emotional turmoil of TFIOS, I had to watch Halloween II. The Rob Zombie version. (P.s. It didn't work, I'm still an emotional wreck and I'm going to read it again. Beginning to end.)

Monday, June 23, 2014

Filled with staccato bursts of humor and tragedy.

Hello my people. I don't really think that you are "my people" but you're obviously a little bit of the kind of people that I like to surround myself with, so hello!! If you're wondering, I like to surround myself with great, funny, kind people that totally get my weird sense of humor, and just let me ramble. Sound familiar?

Anyways, I wanted to share with y'all the fact that I read a book this weekend. I know that I read a lot, so this shouldn't come as any surprise, but I literally bought the book late Friday evening and stayed up until late last night to finish it. Yes, my little old lady self stayed up late on a Sunday night and still managed to get up and come to work ON TIME. Booyah!! I would've been done with it quite a bit sooner, but unfortunately I had things like going to family functions, some work, eating, sleeping, and showering that to had to be done. You know, normal people things. But I loved it so much, and became so engrossed in it that I just couldn't stop until I had finished it. The book that I'm speaking of?

The Fault In Our Stars.

Yes, I know that I'm a bit late to the party, but you know, better late than pregnant. Unless you want to be pregnant. In which case congratulations and good luck to you! Godspeed!! But me? No. Babies can smell my fear. But, seriously? This book y'all! I had heard many good things about it, but mostly I had heard wonderful things about the movie. I wanted to give it a try, but just like anything else I wanted to form my own opinion about it. Even though the hype is still ridiculous (because of the movie) I decided that it was just time to break down and get the book. I wanted to read it that bad. Y'all it was SO good. And SO sad. If you haven't read it yet, then be aware- SPOILER ALERTS!!

I knew that someone was going to pass away. Then after everyone on the planet seemed to read the book or watch the movie, I knew that it was going to be Augustus. I was prepared for this. I was prepared to feel sad when this happened. However, I was not prepared to feel as sad as I did and to cry. Yes, I admit it. I cried. Not horrible, sobbing, ugly crying, but crying nonetheless. But I didn't just cry when Augustus passed away. I cried long before that, and long after that. It was the way the story was told that actually got me.

John Green makes you fall in love with these characters. Not just one, but all of them. You fall in love with Hazel, Augustus, and Issac. You come to love the parents, Van Houten, and Lidewij. You even love Dr. Maria for acknowledging the fact that even though Hazel has cancer, she is still a young woman. She wants to experience things while she still has time left. She wants to see things and feel things. She wants to be a sixteen year old girl. She knows that she has cancer, and she doesn't deny that it's killing her. None of that information is new to her. But once she meets Augustus and realizes what's out there, she wants to live while she's still alive. This made me cry, but it also made me laugh. It made me laugh quite a bit actually. And it made me think. Have you ever read one of those books that just make you think? I found myself stopping in the middle of a sentence just to think something through. And I loved it.

It's an amazing book. I would/will recommend it to any and everyone that I possibly can. I'm sure the movie is fantastic to, but the book? Oh, I just don't think that it can be beat. Many people hated John Green after they read this or watched the movie. Don't worry, I was cussing him a bit too, but honestly he did it right. He told this epic lovestory that gets interrupted by sickness and eventually comes to an end with death. He told the story that no one else wants to tell. The true story. The truth is people we love get sick. People we love pass away. Even though we would love that not to be true, it is. And not all the time is it pretty. Not everyone gets to pass away at the ripe old age of 98, peacefully in their sleep surrounded by all of their loved ones. Sometimes, people suffer and others have to see the person they love go through things that they never thought imaginable. But their life? How they live and love while they're still with us? Now, that my friends is the real story.

In case you were wondering, I am one of those people that believes in love. True love. Great love. I don't pretend to know it, but I believe it. I believe that it's there. And if we're lucky enough to find it in life, then we only find it once. You can love more than one person. You can love a hundred different people. All with a different kind of love varying from mother to child. Child to friend. Friend to enemy. You can love with everything to everyone. But to be IN love? Now that my friend is something entirely different. And that's what this book shows. It shows great love. From beginning to end, and all that is in between. Love, understanding, suffering, perseverance, honesty, integrity, and great sadness. Be prepared. You will be sad, but it is more than worth it. Read it. Right now. And thank John Green for sharing the story with us.

Friday, June 20, 2014

I said to hell with that

I'm one of those people that wakes up multiple times in the middle of the night and tries everything to avoid looking at the clock, because if I do look at the clock, then it's really just a countdown until I have to get out of bed and go to work. But last night must have been my lucky night because I drank just enough wine to help me pass out go to sleep.

I woke up at 3:33 am and remembered that my alarm was set for 4:30 so that I could get up and curl my hair. In my fuzzy wine infused mind I thought- "To hell with that", and I promptly reset my alarm for 5:10.

Today, my hair is wonky, I'm wearing a very simple tee shirt and jeans, and I put on only the minimal amount of makeup. I have no regrets. That was the best night sleep that I've had in a really long time. Judge if you want, but sometimes a girl just needs a little wine to wash down her pain pill. What?!! Just kidding.

I don't really know what else to share with the world today; {{I could always head on over and back that azz up with Whit}} I just wanted to tell everyone about my awesome night sleep. Since I don't have an actual topic I guess random wins. Then again, random always wins with me.

//Am I the only person that 'Googles' people from my past to see what they're up to or what they look like these days? I can't be the only one, right? If we didn't Google people, or say stay social media 'friends' with someone, how else are we supposed to know that the pretty guy that broke your heart when you were a teenager now has a receding hairline? (Yesssss......fist pump). And even though you might not have your life 'together', it looks like his is a never ending cycle of bad decisions, weird smells, and crazy wives.

//I think that I'm funnier than I actually am. People tend to tell me that I'm a nut, but then I just sing them the "nut song" and they shake their heads and walk away. Slowly. I crack jokes and I'm super sarcastic. I can't help it, it's a gift, really. Example? A conversation between my older cousin and I. I thought that it was way funnier than it probably actually was, but I thought that it pretty clever. And yes, he still says things like jammies to me, because he still thinks of me as the little babygirl that he used to carry around on his shoulders. Except now I get to chug beer with him. Which is more fun.

Josh: Congratulations. You didn't wear jammies to work. Katie: Well, you know, I thought that I would wear something normal today. Usually I forget to change my jammies, but then again you forget your hair, so I guess forgetfulness runs in the family! Josh: Hey ass...that's hereditary. Katie: But it's not her-hair-itary. Josh: Ass.


//I really need to learn how to use the Twitter. I know, I know. I'm probably the only person left that doesn't do it. It's not like I haven't tried. I gave it a go for about three or four days, couldn't figure out what in the hell I was doing and gave up. I'm just not good with technology. The only reason I think that I should learn the Twitter? So I can follow Kurt Sutter and all of the cast of Sons of Anarchy for spoilers and my addiction to the show. Sad, but true.

//I was really gung ho for The Fault In Our Stars to come out. I watched the previews and theatrical release trailers. I talked about it with some random people. I read people's blog posts about it. I wanted to go see it in theaters. Desperately. However, now that I've settled down a bit, I've decided to just read the book and wait for the DVD to come out. You know, save like 40 bucks when it's all over and done with.

Katie: I want to go to Texas. Momma: Why do you want to do that? Katie: I love football. I love bbq. I love beer. I love big hair. Momma: Sounds like you were born and raised in Texas. Katie: Maybe I should have been. Then I could have dated a Dillon Panther. Momma: Who's that? Katie: Never mind. Momma: You're talking about a movie/TV show aren't you? Katie: Of course. Momma: But your favorite football team is the Pittsburgh Steelers. Katie: Minor detail. Momma: And you hate the heat. Katie: Hence the beer. Momma: Wow.


//Speaking of which, let's talk Taylor Kitsch for a minute. Why are they giving this guy such a rough go around? At least they did last year. I never watched John Carter, but it didn't lose money, so hush. But Battleship? I watched Battleship and I liked it. I usually do like movies that other people don't, but damn. I thought that it was good. I also think that he's a good actor and has played some awesome characters. I like his movies (and Friday Night Lights, of course) that I've seen. And yes, that includes Savages and The Covenant. Lone Survivor? Brought me to tears. To. Tears. I knew that there was only one survivor going in, but combine the amazing actors and the true life story of those American soldiers fight? There were a lot of tears.

//Am I the only one that's glad that's it's Friday? It hasn't been a particularly long week or anything. And even with all of the rain and thunderstorms, it's been relatively pleasant. It probably helps that I love thunderstorms. But I am just happy that it's almost the weekend! Just a couple more hours and I'm home free. So to speak. Kenny and Jim are having a yard sale tomorrow, but I won't be there for it. Where will I be? I will be at Tony's house eating the delicious food that people have put together. So, if you need me, I'll be somewhere between the spicy mac&cheese and snickerdoodle cake. Thanks.

Linking up with Kat

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

In the name of the smirk

Vodka and SodaY'all this is officially my....wait for it....second link up. This has got to be a record or something. Does this officially make me a professional at something? I would like to think so, especially since I have the commitment stance of Chandler Bing. But I digress. So here goes nothing; I apologize in advance. I don't do these linkups very often. I've been blogging for over a year and still haven't learned a lot more than just rambling, like I always do. Sad, but true.

//I could probably think of a million things, but i feel incredibly lazy and procrastinaty {yes, I know that's not a real word} right now. And the main reason that I decided to do another link up is so I could use the button of Ian Somerhalder, because I mean, he's beautiful. And smirky.

//I started playing "Words With Friends" with Danielle. I let her talk me into downloading it. I think that I may be doing it wrong, because the only words that I can think of are dirty ones. And then I giggle. But in all fairness, I'm learning new ones.
 

//I got really excited that George Jung got released from prison. You would honestly think that I was going to go hang out with him or something. {I'm not}. For those of you that don't know, George Jung was the smuggler that was responsible for up to 89% of the cocaine being brought into the U.S. in the 70s and 80s. You'd know him best from the fact that Johnny Depp played him in the 2001 movie Blow. I know that he isn't the best role model, but the man fascinates me. {For all of the concerned citizens, don't worry I do not nor have i ever had an addiction to cocaine; if you see my ass you will know this}.


//I have to admit it, I know that Wednesday is 'hump day', because it's getting you over the 'hump' from Monday/Tuesday to Thursday/Friday, but I hate the term. I blame the guy at work that insists on repeating the camel commercial every Wednesday. Every. Single. One. I do however love the memes. All memes actually.


//Aunt Susi made the comment- "Katie has no responsibilities except making sure she goes to work Monday through Friday" yesterday. Then she looked at me like I would be offended. Y'all I wasn't offended. I take care of me, my mom, and my dog. That's all. I don't have kids or a significant other. I do what I want, whenever I want, or nothing at all. The only thing that I could think was- I AM SO AWESOME.


//I have this dream in my head of being teeny, tiny, and dainty (I used to be incredibly small), but I have absolutely no motivation to do so. I also have aspirations to be a runner. However, I really love sitting on the couch and watching re-runs of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, so you know there's that.


//I've been thinking a lot about an old friend these past few days. I've made a mental note to ask about him the next time I talk to Noodle. I'll ask- "Do you know where he is?" "Is he ok?" "Where is he at?"And you know what will be going threw her mind? This-


//I love being single. I have always been the 'relationship' girl and it made me sad, but I've been single the past two years and I have to admit- I think that i may have found "the one". And it's me.


//I don't find any topic to disgusting to talk about. I don't get grossed out by other people's bodily functions and I think that it's completely acceptable to talk about all of mine. {It's not} Yes, even in public or while we're all eating. I blame my lack of self control on the fact that I worked in a nursing home for five years. Once you deal with other peoples bodily functions on a daily basis, you become really open.

Linking up with Kat.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

And Jack just left.

Hello people. Good news, the evil tooth that I'm pretty sure was related to Satan or at least a Kardashian is out of my head, and after four stitches and five days the hole in my mouth is almost completely healed. No longer in pain, whoop whoop. Can I get an amen? Amen!! Just so y'all know seeing me on pain killers (which I told the dentist I didn't need, but she insisted I did) was hilarious. I of course left work half day on Thursday and ended up having Friday off to. Probably a good thing since my jaw was the size of a squishy softball. I guess, they didn't want someone that looked like the elephant man up in the office scaring the daylights out of people. Thanks, Dani. The sleep was much appreciated after all that mess. Enough about that.

I was pretty much out of commission last week this weekend (painkillers), so basically I did a whole lot of nothing, so when I got to thinking about it, really last week for me looked a bit like this--->>--->>--->>


Which coincidentally isn't all that different from any other week, but whatevs. Aunt Poot asked me if I lost weight, because I looked a bit smaller (thanks Aunt Poot- I credit the shorts that I was wearing). She was all- "are you on a special diet?" And I was all- "Yes. I am. I'm on the eating tacos and watch re-runs of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia diet. It's delightful". She laughed and called me a smartass. Ahh, family.

I have decided to add Keira Knightley to the list of famous women that I would like to look like. Her and Kaley Cuoco. Because hello, it's Kaley and Keira. I swear, I would get Kaley's haircut if I could look as cute as she does. Sadly, I don't. Nor will I ever. There is literally nothing that girl does with her look that I don't think is adorable. SO adorable.

Anyways, her hair is so cute and makes her daintiness even more dainty, sadly though I would look less like a cute Peter Pan and more like a Robin Williams' Peter Pan. Wow, I am getting old. I bet not a lot of people would get that reference if they're not my age. Perhaps one day though, I will just get the balls, go to someone, and have it all chopped off. So chopped off that I can't pull it back in a ponytail to hide it. You know, this kind of cut. But for now, I'm sticking with my long hair. One- because I love it. Two- because it's easy to deal with (and by deal with I mean ponytail and bun). And three- because every time I get it cut short, I hate it, so you know, there's that.

I have been watching a lot of It's Always Sunny re-runs (thank you DVR) and I gotta say, I'm still loving it. When I first started watching it I felt like a really horrible person. I'm not gonna lie, it's a morally questionable show, but I love it. Uhh, Charlie Day? Yes, please. I think that he might be the male version of me. Or what is that people are saying? My spirit animal? I don't know what in the hell that means, but we're going with it. Remind me to show y'all the commencement speech that he gave. Or you know, just use this link right here. Which ever.

I go back to the "lady" doctor to have those cells rechecked today. I would just like to go on the record of saying that I know it's necessary, but I don't like having to go back and have tests run every six months. Boo. I have much more important things to do. You know, like It's Always Sunny and tacos. We just had this talk. I don't know why I felt the need to tell y'all this, but we all know- I DO WHAT I WANT.

I talked to Noodle Friday. Friday? Saturday? One of those days, and in the short little conversation that we had she told me about her new boyfriend. She also sent me a picture of him. I replied with the usual- "Oh, he's a cutie!" And wanted to know all about him and how they are doing. Apparently I know him and he was "offended" that I didn't remember him. (He wasn't really offended, they were teasing me). The worst part? She wouldn't tell me who he was, and instead made me think it out. Damn.

Well, I was getting ready for work this morning I started thinking about it and I finally got it. Noodle's boyfriend, I mean. Keep up. I think that he was the boy that used to talk to me my Ag class all the time. He sat next across from me. I, of course, immediately sent Noodle a message informing her that I had cracked the case wide open. Basically, because I wanted to feel like Scooby and Shaggy when they solved a mystery. The message read: Wait! Did I have Ag class with him? Is he that Andrew?! Did I just solve the mystery?! You have SO many questions to answer when you read these messages. Basically, I'm hoping that I'm right. Otherwise I'm going to look like an ass, and have to start from scratch. Which would suck, but you know.

I'm feeling a bit nostalgic today. Can you tell? Well, in honor of that my Facebook status reads- "Well, hello mister fancypants. I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things, right now: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town". Nope. Still funny. Which if you know me, you know that's one of Bruce Campbell's (AMAZING) lines from Army of Darkness (one of the greatest movies ever). I love Bruce Campbell. And now I want a taco. A couple tacos. Doritos locos tacos. And guacamole. But specific guacamole from either the little Mexican restaurant down the street here or Chili's. But if it's Chili's I'm gonna need shrimp fajitas to.

One more thing before I go, y'all need to try the drinks that I have been my go to drink since it got warm outside. These drinks are: WATER MOCCASINS?!! Anyone? A water moccasin is a drink made up of crushed ice, pineapple juice, and Crown Royal. And they are delicious. Oh, right, and Dani brought me the book- Bossypants (I love Tina Fey) to borrow so that I can read it. So I will be here soon. And Aunt Susi brought me a giant snickerdoodle cookie (thank you, AS!) from Paradise Bakery.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Yeah, well, screw it, I'm too tired for titles.

Remember yesterday when I vaguely mentioned that I had a toothache that I was going to the dentist today to have taken care of? I think I may have in passing mentioned that I had resorted to eating Tylenol for lunch and was going to bed at seven, not to sleep, but just so that I could lay on the heated beanbag. (Again, not dirty). Yeah, well, last night things escalated.

I was in a normal amount of pain by the time I got off of work. I have a pretty high pain tolerance, for the most part, so I was taking it like a champ. I mean, I complained a lot little, but I was being an adult about it. I went to the grocery store, did the things around the house that needed done, went back out to the store to get cat food, showered and took a seat to watch some TV. Question?! Does anyone know how hard it is to eat when you can only chew on one side and you can't fully chomp down, because it hurts the other side? I do. It took me 45 minutes to eat a burger last night and I finally just gave up.

I went to bed and that's when the real horror started. Miserable, party of one, right here. My mouth hurt so bad that at one point I'm pretty sure that I just had lockjaw and I wanted to saw the whole left side of my head off. Yes. The entire head. I bet I got a total of 45 minutes of sleep last night and boy am I paying for it this morning. Hell, I paid for it then too.

Do you ever notice that when you're in pain, or can't sleep, or both how everything annoys you? See, my uncles have about 20 clocks (yes, the rest of us know how excessive this is) in their house that go off every hour and half hour at one minute intervals. This has never really bothered me. I guess I'm just used to it or something. But last night. Last night, they were annoying. No, they were mocking me is what they were doing. Mocking me, I say.

12:00 a.m.- Ding. Man, I never realized that these clocks went off so much.
12:30 a.m.- Dong. They go off every half hour too?
1:00 a.m.- Ding. You're not sleeping.
1:30 a.m.- Dong. You're still not sleeping.
2:00 a.m.- Ding. I'm in so much pain right now. SO MUCH.
2:30 a.m.- Dong. AHHH!!
3:00 a.m.- Ding. You're not going to sleep at all.
3:30 a.m.- Dong. You're just going to hurt for the rest of your life.
4:00 a.m.- Ding. These clocks are mocking me. They are seriously mocking me.
4:30 a.m.- Dong. If I had a meat mallet or a chainsaw right now, the left side of my head would be gone right now.
5:00 a.m.- Ding. (time to get up for work). I f*@$#^g hate clocks.

So as you can see I'm a bit tired and irritable today. Plus, I'm still wanting to cut off half of my head. So you know, there's that. All people annoy me right now and I'm about four seconds away from losing my sunny disposition. I've tried to take my mind off of all of this. You know, entertain myself so as to not think about it. So far I've managed to do all of my work. I got a message from my friend Sunshine discussing ninjas, prison, and fires. I've talked to Dani about her crazy in-laws. I've FB stalked 's mom, I'm still not really sure why, but I assume it has something to do with me thinking about D when I was unable to sleep last night. I wonder how he's doing. And I've made a mental note of all of the clothes that I would love to be able to wear, but am too fat to actually wear. Also, I'm super annoyed with all things that involve the opposite gender today. Why? Why should you be so nice? Just leave. Me. Alone. 

I never thought that I would say this, but I'm beyond glad that I go to the Dentist today. If she doesn't immediately rip this tooth out of my head, I'll probably just commandeer all of her instruments and do it myself. Not sure if that will work out in my favor, but I guess we'll see.

Friday, June 6, 2014

It's true what they say about girls and musicians

Every girl/woman in the world finds musicians sexy. They don't even have to be a good musician. Not at all. Oh, you know two chords on your guitar? Great! Do you wanna make out a little bit? It's just the true, hard facts of life my friends. Why do you think that so many guys want to be in a band when they're teenagers? It's not for the awesome roommates and excessive ramen noodle meals, that's for sure. It's because they know that we love musicians too. We don't hide it very well.

I bet even back in the day when people were setting around a fire, in the frigid cold, just trying to survive, that the guy playing the little ditty on his banjo got laid more than any other man in the camp. I'm just saying. You can be a complete weirdo, and if you can play the bass and/or drums, you're automatically ten times more attractive. Hell, what am I even saying? It doesn't have to be bass or drums, it can be anything from harmonica to tuba. We don't care.


Think of our minds like a kind of jumping portal. Oh, you play the keyboard? Well then, keyboards are just electronic pianos. And guys played pianos in the olden days for the women they loved. You're playing me a song on your keyboard from across the room. Ergo, you must totally be in love with me and we should get married like in Pride&Prejudice. Please, excuse me while I remove my pants.

You laugh, but I've actually seen that happen. I didn't make it up. Do you think any of the four guys from Weezer got laid before they formed a band? Hell to the no. They were a group of Napoleon Dynamite's that were so intelligent that they to learned that all they needed to do to be cool was become a musician. Well played, Weezer. Well. Played. I too have favorite musicians. I'm not excluded from this. 

Jack White: 

Jack White is one of those musicians that I you just totally want to bang get to know. I started following his career about ten years ago when I first saw him in cold Mountain. I loved his character- Georgia, and when he sang those old folk songs, I fell a bit head over heels. I had of course heard some of his music prior to that. You know, songs by The White Stripes, especially Seven Nations Army, but it wasn't until I heard him sing folk, that I really became in awed with him.

I bet every woman has been obsessed about a musician that they wouldn't even take two looks at if they were just the normal everyday guy serving them their caramel latte at the local Starbucks. Personally, I'm not that into looks. As most of you know, I worked in a nursing home/rehabilitation facility for about five years. In the process of being at that job I learned a lot about life and a lot about myself. I learned that looks fade and what you're left with is the person. The question is do you really want to spend an enormous amount of time with that person? But enough with the heavy.

Austin Winkler:

I went through a huge Hinder phase my junior/senior year of high school. I just couldn't get enough of them. Especially Austin Winkler. He is one of those guys that I don't thinks attractive. Until he starts singing. He is so weird that every time I read something about him or watch an interview with him, I think to myself- "What the eff just happened?!!" But then, oh but then, he starts to sing and does that weird arm out/make out with the microphone thing and I'm completely on his side once again. I was incredibly sad to hear that he parted ways with Hinder back in November 2013. Not gonna lie, great band, but I probably will never go see them without him.

Did I ever tell you guys that my brother was in a 'band'? No? Well, he was. And by in a band I mean we got him a drum set for Christmas one year, his friend Corey played the guitar, John was learning the guitar, and they were all convinced that David could sing. I used to get to sit in on their 'rehearsals', and I thought that they were total badasses. Being the little sister that I was, I was proud of my brother, and totally obsessed with the bass player (Corey).


I'm sure I looked adorable with my big ole googly eyes, staring at him from the bucket that I was sitting on in our garage. I still remember it so vividly. He used to bite the bottom corner of his lip when he was really into what he was playing, and every now and then he would look up at me and wink. **insert- melt my tween heart right here** They of course all loved to have me sit in and watch them, because we lived out in the middle of nowhere, so basically I was the only one around to be their audience. And may I just say that I was damn good at it to. They "performed" a little bit of everything from AC/DC to Puddle of Mudd. My favorite being- "What's your name" by Lynard Skynard. That one was my favorite, because that was Greg's best song that he played, and David shared the lyrics with Corey. It was like he was singing right to me. Granted I was the only one there, but can you guys just give me this one? And that's where I began to realize that the sayings were true.

Jamie Dornan:

Most people had no clue who Jamie Dornan was until a few months ago. Everyone now refers to him as Phil Spector, Sheriff Graham, the Huntsman, or most importantly....Christian Grey. As soon as he was announced for that women started swooning and googling him to learn everything. He's a very popular model and has done quite a few different things. I'm excited to see him in the upcoming FSOG movie, because Christian Grey plays the piano. **swoon** I however got interested in him a few years ago.

I was on one of my kicks that I get on (just like my Michael Rappaport binge) where I decided that I needed to know everything about a certain person. I wondered to myself- whatever happened to that guy that played count Axel Fersen in Marie Antoinette? So of course, Google. I learned his name and went from there. I stumbled upon his music career, and have loved him ever since. Can you tell that I love folk music? And Irish and/or Scottish men? A little known fact: the only thing that we girls like more than a musician is an accent. Combine those two? **aahhhh hallelujah** Just putting that one out there.

Needless to say the first boyfriend that I ever had (I was fourteen and he was fifteen) played, you guessed it...guitar. Specifically, bass. I think. I know, I know. He picked up his guitar and it was amazing. Well, to my fourteen year old self it was amazing. He knew how to play Guns'n'Roses- Don't Cry, which happens to be my favorite, so, you know.

Bottom line- musicians are hot.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

The opposite of what Noah Calhoun said

Ever since I was fifteen years old I have been "that" girl. You know "that" girl that I'm talking about. The girl that constantly has a boyfriend or at the very least some form of guy in her life. I shuffled around and managed to get put myself in the dating situation, even if the guy that I just so happened upon was all wrong.

Wrong for all reasons. As in, nothing about us was compatible, nor did I even like being in the same vicinity as said person. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking- "Then duh, Katie, why wouldn't you just break up with that person and move on to find your happiness elsewhere?" Well friends, that is a legit question. (Like my use of the term legit there?)

I literally flitted from relationship to relationship looking for what I thought that I wanted. When one of my relationships ended, whether it was a long term or short term one, I would hop on that train and into the next one. I never gave myself the proper amount of time before I fell into the next one. And it's one hundred percent my fault. I have no doubt about that and I don't try to defend myself against.

It's. My. Fault.

I was in my last relationship for two and a half years. It was brutal, and horrible, and self deprecating. I was miserable and unhappy, long before it was over and yet I stayed in it. I tried to make it something that it wasn't and would never be. By the end I was so mentally and emotionally drained that I just couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't broken, but I felt that I had failed. I had failed to make another relationship work. Anyone who has ever felt any form of failure knows the feeling that I'm talking about. You get tired and you feel on the edge of defeat. So after that was done and over with I decided to take a break from all things relationship. I decided that I needed to take some "me" time and figure out what I wanted.

After all, in all of my failed relationships the common denominator was me. I wanted to figure out what I was doing wrong and fix the problem(s). Then one day as I was riding down the road I was hit with a realization. Something inside of me had evolved and in my grown up state I realized that perhaps it wasn't me. I mean, it was me, but for completely different reasons. Maybe, the one thing that I was doing wrong was choosing the wrong person to compliment myself.

Relationships are supposed to make you happy, and you are supposed to want to spend endless amounts of your time with that person out of love, not a sense of responsibility. I realized all of this, and it made me feel...amazing. For the first time in a long time I felt wondrous about the relationship that I was in. And that relationship was with myself. I did the things that I wanted to do whether that meant reading, watching TV, shopping, cooking, or walking around aimlessly. I realized that even though the idea of having a significant other was a sensational idea, that I didn't have to have that in my life.

In the past when I've found myself single, I would meet someone or have another in the back of my mind as kind of a "back-up" or "fall back". You know what I'm talking about, a "safety net". I would make a scenario in my head and build up the characters to be so unbelievable, that they would be exactly that. Unbelievable. No one could ever live up to the idealization that I had, and yet, even though I know this I don't want to settle for less. I don't want to settle for anything less than laughter and happiness. I don't want to settle for anything less than awe inspiring giddiness. In other words, I don't want to settle. I want the butterflies.     

It's been almost two years since I've dated anyone. And I'm ok with that. If it happens, then it happens, but I don't want to force anything. I got asked out on a date and everybody that I know has an opinion about it. Personally, I'm hoping that he just loses interest before the actual date comes to pass. I had a small panic attack thinking about dating someone. A million questions started running through my mind, and then I realized something. I realized that I'm not in a relationship, not even close to being in one, and I'm a perfectly able intelligent twenty-four year old woman in the twenty first century. Handy little fact to have in your back pocket. I can say no. I can say this isn't working. I can even just plainly say that I don't want to. I don't have to settle for anything less than exactly what I want.

I can't change the roads that I've taken, but I can certainly turn around and re-direct myself. 

Monday, June 2, 2014

Legen- wait for it.

I have nothing of substance to share with the world today. Literally, nothing. I could ramble on and on with the happenings of the world, but frankly, you all know what's going on. You know that Alice from the Brady Bunch passed away (and if not, I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you). You know that Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting chopped her long blonde locks into a pixie cut (could she BE any cuter? I mean, damn her adorability). You know that Maleficent opened this weekend, and is apparently a HUGE success. You know all of these things. Well, you know that if the homepage on your work computer is set to Yahoo, that is.

I'm aware that all of this isn't 'world news', but frankly when I read about all of the things happening in the world, it makes me a little depressed. The news never has anything happy to tell you. NEVER. It's always murder, rape, violence, stabbing, hate crimes, so on and so forth. Don't we have enough problems without doing horrible things to each other? I mean, come on people. Quit being a bunch of jerks, and find something to do that doesn't consist of you joining in the running of being the worst human being on the planet. Not a title that anyone should want to hold.

But I digress. Because of all of this I have decided to share only two things for today. I mean, it's my first post for June, so why not? Also, Aunt Susi and Uncle Roger close on their new house in 10 days. Count it people. 10. Whoop whoop!!

When I got off of work Friday, Momma and I ran some errands and then we headed over to Aunt Poot and Uncle Darrell's. They had asked us to come over for a visit, so we thought that we would just hang out with them for a little bit. Two pints of crown, some hard cider, a few beers, and a half a bottle of vodka later we were all laughing, talking, and having a good time. Then because everyone was starving we all ate pizza....and ice cream. What? It was delicious. Quit judging. You don't know my life. Just kidding, simmer, simmer. Then we went home, I made Kenny tea, and I changed clothes, curled up in my bed and passed out fell asleep after watching Friends. We hung out around the house and ran some errands on Saturday. Then yesterday Kenny, Jim, and Shylyn went with their friends to a cookout, and we went back over to Aunt Poot and Uncle Darrell's to cook out and hang out. Cause we do what we want.


Question of the week: What do you do when someone doesn't follow the script to exact, like you have it played out in your head? Ignore them, of course. LIKE AN ADULT.


And most importantly, guess what started filming last week? Uhh, only the best show ever in the history of existence. That's right- Sons of Anarchy did!! Can I get an amen?!! AMEN!! I follow Kurt Sutter on everything possible, except the Twitter, y'all know that I couldn't figure out the Twitter, and I keep a look out for all things seventh season. I'm sad that it's going to be the last, but I also know that it's going to be LEGEN- what for it- DARY. Yes kids, I just went NPH on you. That's how excited I am. Did I mention that Marilyn Manson is going to be a recurring character and that Charlie Hunnam is practically a demi-god? No? Well, those are both facts of equal importance. Just saying. 


In all fairness, I told you at the beginning that I had nothing of substance. So if you read all of this, and got to the very end and the only thing that you can think is- "What the eff, Katie?!!" Well, this is as much of your fault as it is mine. Happy Monday, everybody. Here's to another long week of longing for the summer weekend. Cheers!!