Monday, June 30, 2014

Did y'all know that Marky Mark was such a little asshole?

Now, hear me out before you start getting all defensive. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Mark Wahlberg. Always have and pretty sure I always will. I have watched his movies for as long as I can remember, and could listen to him talk for hours upon hours. Those thick Boston accents? Yes, please! Sexy. What? Just me? Well, AL-RIGHT-Y THEN!

Does it look like THIS guy would cause REAL harm?

He has always seemed like such a sweet guy to me. Still does. For the most part. And oh my bejeebus can that man make me laugh. So much! I mean, the first time I watched his movie Fear, well, actually every time that I watch his movie fear, I find myself completely scared out of my freakin' mind. And oddly enough, still attracted to him. But whatevs, I'll deal with my issues later in life. With a good therapist. But still I have never seen a movie of his that I didn't like, and I'm thoroughly convinced that he's one of the best actors, EVER.

 Scary. As. Shit.

With that being said I started watching the show- Wahlbergers recently, so of course, today in some of my "down time" I went to the most reliable source available and started reading all about them. That source? Wikipedia, of course. Duh. Anyways, I was politely reading all about Mark in his younger years, even before he was 'Marky Mark' and do you know what I learned? I learned that he was a little asshole. Seriously, if he wasn't such a mean little shit, he would've got the crap kicked out of him like all the time.

 Wouldn't have guessed it, huh?

I've watched and read interviews with him and knew that he had gotten into some trouble when he was younger, but I didn't know it was to that extent. Damn, Mark. Anyways, after his stint in prison, yes you heard me right-- prison! He decided to turn it all around and focus on his career and help people. Good for you, Marky Mark! Good. For. You. With that being said, I would like to reiterate that he is still one of my ALL TIME favorites and I still love him and his acting. Gotta love a serious man that can make you laugh. And cry, in a good way. Lone survivor? Uh, lots of tears. That, and looks way good in tidy whities. Come on, that's hard to do. That's what she said. Hehehe. What? Yes, I'm twelve.

I have nothing else for y'all except watch- Wahlbergers!! So funny!! I couldn't quit laughing to save my life. I think that Donnie might be the funniest. He's all the time messing with his brothers, and it's great! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the right stuff, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the right stuff.

Friday, June 27, 2014

I need Boonesfarm, Candy, Tacos, and Philadelphia.

Before I begin I would like to introduce y'all to a new friend of mine- Laney. Laney is a sweet girl that runs a very fun blog known as- Night Owl Venting. She's funny and very interesting, with a kind heart and a lot to say. What more reason do you need to hop right on over there and show her some love? The answer is none. You don't need anymore reason than that, so head on over for a little read and chat. I'll wait here for you :)

Back? Told you that you'd like her. Anyways, am I the only one that is SUPER excited that it's the weekend? I mean, I don't have any plans. None whatsoever, but it's still the weekend!! That means reading, binge watching TV, eating a bunch of junk while watching movies, leaving the shades drawn, and most importantly- NOT WEARING PANTS. Can you tell that Momma and I have the house to ourselves this weekend? I get a little bit overly excited when that happens.

We may venture out for just a little while to see one of my aunts (probably Poot, because she's just right around the corner- and yes I call one of my aunts Aunt Poot- just deal), or to get something entirely unhealthy to eat, but mostly we'll just stay in and watch TV. Or I'll read. And she'll be on her computer. And I'll cuddle with Tayder. Basically, a bunch of things that other people would consider lazy and boring, but what I see as heaven. Before I do all of that though, let me link it up with Whit, to back my no pants wearin' azz up.

For a long time I never did rest. I was always go, go, go. And I know what you're thinking and possibly even saying out loud. You're thinking/saying- "Katie! You are a 24 year old woman. You can go and go and act your age". To all of you people I say- You're right. I could very much go out and party. Or I could just go out and hang out with people my age and do all sorts of things. I'm young, I'm relatively healthy, and even though I'm nowhere near beautiful, I think that I may be decent enough to where when people look at me they don't want to throw up in their mouths. But anyone that knows me also knows that I do what I want.

If I wanted to go out and do things then I would. And I do when I want to. But I also like staying home and reading or watching TV. Sometimes I like not putting on makeup or brushing my hair. I've done the go out and party, "social" thing and I learned that it's just not me. I don't like it. And why do something that I don't like? I see no logical reason to.

Oh, let me tell y'all the conversation that I had with the cashier at the store yesterday evening. I was minding my own business and just stopped by the store to pick up some deodorant and cereal (I know it's a weird combo, but move past it) and we were browsing, minding our own business. You know trying to recover from the massive amounts of Mexican food that we had just eaten. After we were done we headed up to check out and this conversation ensued. (Confession: Yes, I do wear men's deodorant. What? Some girls sweat more than others and not all of us want to smell like a damn flower or piece of fruit!)

Cashier: This stuff is great! I get my husband the same thing, he works in construction and boy can he get smelly. Me: Yeah. This is mine. Cashier: Yours? Not your husbands? Why? Me: Because buying deodorant for my non-existent husband would be dumb. Cashier: No, I mean why do you wear men's deodorant? Me: Because it works a whole lot better than women's, and just because I don't have a husband doesn't mean that I want to smell. Cashier: Well played. Here's a coupon.

With all of that being said I would like to say I'm gonna have to hop off of here, because unfortunately I have to be an adult for a few hours. Bluck! I hope y'all have a great weekend! I wish I had more for you today, but I just don't have it in me. Remember yesterday when I said that I need to eat and take a nap? Well, I'm not exactly sure what's wrong with me, but I'm still not fully recovered. All I know is when I get off of work, God willing, I'm going home, the pants are coming off, I'm eating leftover shrimp tacos and pizza while drinking Boonesfarm, and watching It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia and Savages. Because, I mean, hello Taylor Kitsch **winkwink*

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Cheap booze, no pants, and emotional turmoil? Sounds like a party.

{1}I'm loving....That it's at least a day closer to a three day weekend. (4th of July is on a Friday this year.) And naps. (I love naps.)
{2}I'm loving....The Fault In Our Stars. (The book version, I haven't seen the movie. But reading the book twice since last Friday? Yep.)
{3}I'm loving....Spending so much time with family. It's been very nice. (Cookouts? Keeping the crazy away? Water moccasins? Yes to all!)
{4}I'm loving....The fact that I'm now boycotting pants at home. (Just for me.)
{5}I'm loving....Cheap wine. (I know that I sound like an alcoholic right now, but I'm not. I promise. However, aside from favorite- Crown Royal, I have reverted back to my old school cheapy days. Boonesfarm anyone?)
{6}I'm loving....That I'm sticking to my guns. (Remember when I said that I always kind of 'fell' into relationships and things, but I wasn't going to 'serious' date until I was ready and found the right person? Well, I made that perfectly clear to dude. I may be a jerk, but at least I was honest and told him what I want/didn't want. I'm counting that as a win)
{7}I'm loving....That I got to talk to Noodle for a long while on Sunday. (It's been far too long since we got to have a long talk. Being an adult stinks.)
{8}I'm loving....That I finally beat someone on that "Words With Friends" game. (Granted I haven't beat Danielle yet, but someday. Maybe.)
{9}I'm loving....All of these new blogs that I'm finding and reading. (And also that new people are finding mine.)
{10}I'm loving....That I thought in order to get over the emotional turmoil of TFIOS, I had to watch Halloween II. The Rob Zombie version. (P.s. It didn't work, I'm still an emotional wreck and I'm going to read it again. Beginning to end.)

Monday, June 23, 2014

Filled with staccato bursts of humor and tragedy.

Hello my people. I don't really think that you are "my people" but you're obviously a little bit of the kind of people that I like to surround myself with, so hello!! If you're wondering, I like to surround myself with great, funny, kind people that totally get my weird sense of humor, and just let me ramble. Sound familiar?

Anyways, I wanted to share with y'all the fact that I read a book this weekend. I know that I read a lot, so this shouldn't come as any surprise, but I literally bought the book late Friday evening and stayed up until late last night to finish it. Yes, my little old lady self stayed up late on a Sunday night and still managed to get up and come to work ON TIME. Booyah!! I would've been done with it quite a bit sooner, but unfortunately I had things like going to family functions, some work, eating, sleeping, and showering that to had to be done. You know, normal people things. But I loved it so much, and became so engrossed in it that I just couldn't stop until I had finished it. The book that I'm speaking of?

The Fault In Our Stars.

Yes, I know that I'm a bit late to the party, but you know, better late than pregnant. Unless you want to be pregnant. In which case congratulations and good luck to you! Godspeed!! But me? No. Babies can smell my fear. But, seriously? This book y'all! I had heard many good things about it, but mostly I had heard wonderful things about the movie. I wanted to give it a try, but just like anything else I wanted to form my own opinion about it. Even though the hype is still ridiculous (because of the movie) I decided that it was just time to break down and get the book. I wanted to read it that bad. Y'all it was SO good. And SO sad. If you haven't read it yet, then be aware- SPOILER ALERTS!!

I knew that someone was going to pass away. Then after everyone on the planet seemed to read the book or watch the movie, I knew that it was going to be Augustus. I was prepared for this. I was prepared to feel sad when this happened. However, I was not prepared to feel as sad as I did and to cry. Yes, I admit it. I cried. Not horrible, sobbing, ugly crying, but crying nonetheless. But I didn't just cry when Augustus passed away. I cried long before that, and long after that. It was the way the story was told that actually got me.

John Green makes you fall in love with these characters. Not just one, but all of them. You fall in love with Hazel, Augustus, and Issac. You come to love the parents, Van Houten, and Lidewij. You even love Dr. Maria for acknowledging the fact that even though Hazel has cancer, she is still a young woman. She wants to experience things while she still has time left. She wants to see things and feel things. She wants to be a sixteen year old girl. She knows that she has cancer, and she doesn't deny that it's killing her. None of that information is new to her. But once she meets Augustus and realizes what's out there, she wants to live while she's still alive. This made me cry, but it also made me laugh. It made me laugh quite a bit actually. And it made me think. Have you ever read one of those books that just make you think? I found myself stopping in the middle of a sentence just to think something through. And I loved it.

It's an amazing book. I would/will recommend it to any and everyone that I possibly can. I'm sure the movie is fantastic to, but the book? Oh, I just don't think that it can be beat. Many people hated John Green after they read this or watched the movie. Don't worry, I was cussing him a bit too, but honestly he did it right. He told this epic lovestory that gets interrupted by sickness and eventually comes to an end with death. He told the story that no one else wants to tell. The true story. The truth is people we love get sick. People we love pass away. Even though we would love that not to be true, it is. And not all the time is it pretty. Not everyone gets to pass away at the ripe old age of 98, peacefully in their sleep surrounded by all of their loved ones. Sometimes, people suffer and others have to see the person they love go through things that they never thought imaginable. But their life? How they live and love while they're still with us? Now, that my friends is the real story.

In case you were wondering, I am one of those people that believes in love. True love. Great love. I don't pretend to know it, but I believe it. I believe that it's there. And if we're lucky enough to find it in life, then we only find it once. You can love more than one person. You can love a hundred different people. All with a different kind of love varying from mother to child. Child to friend. Friend to enemy. You can love with everything to everyone. But to be IN love? Now that my friend is something entirely different. And that's what this book shows. It shows great love. From beginning to end, and all that is in between. Love, understanding, suffering, perseverance, honesty, integrity, and great sadness. Be prepared. You will be sad, but it is more than worth it. Read it. Right now. And thank John Green for sharing the story with us.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

And Jack just left.

Hello people. Good news, the evil tooth that I'm pretty sure was related to Satan or at least a Kardashian is out of my head, and after four stitches and five days the hole in my mouth is almost completely healed. No longer in pain, whoop whoop. Can I get an amen? Amen!! Just so y'all know seeing me on pain killers (which I told the dentist I didn't need, but she insisted I did) was hilarious. I of course left work half day on Thursday and ended up having Friday off to. Probably a good thing since my jaw was the size of a squishy softball. I guess, they didn't want someone that looked like the elephant man up in the office scaring the daylights out of people. Thanks, Dani. The sleep was much appreciated after all that mess. Enough about that.

I was pretty much out of commission last week this weekend (painkillers), so basically I did a whole lot of nothing, so when I got to thinking about it, really last week for me looked a bit like this--->>--->>--->>

Which coincidentally isn't all that different from any other week, but whatevs. Aunt Poot asked me if I lost weight, because I looked a bit smaller (thanks Aunt Poot- I credit the shorts that I was wearing). She was all- "are you on a special diet?" And I was all- "Yes. I am. I'm on the eating tacos and watch re-runs of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia diet. It's delightful". She laughed and called me a smartass. Ahh, family.

I have decided to add Keira Knightley to the list of famous women that I would like to look like. Her and Kaley Cuoco. Because hello, it's Kaley and Keira. I swear, I would get Kaley's haircut if I could look as cute as she does. Sadly, I don't. Nor will I ever. There is literally nothing that girl does with her look that I don't think is adorable. SO adorable.

Anyways, her hair is so cute and makes her daintiness even more dainty, sadly though I would look less like a cute Peter Pan and more like a Robin Williams' Peter Pan. Wow, I am getting old. I bet not a lot of people would get that reference if they're not my age. Perhaps one day though, I will just get the balls, go to someone, and have it all chopped off. So chopped off that I can't pull it back in a ponytail to hide it. You know, this kind of cut. But for now, I'm sticking with my long hair. One- because I love it. Two- because it's easy to deal with (and by deal with I mean ponytail and bun). And three- because every time I get it cut short, I hate it, so you know, there's that.

I have been watching a lot of It's Always Sunny re-runs (thank you DVR) and I gotta say, I'm still loving it. When I first started watching it I felt like a really horrible person. I'm not gonna lie, it's a morally questionable show, but I love it. Uhh, Charlie Day? Yes, please. I think that he might be the male version of me. Or what is that people are saying? My spirit animal? I don't know what in the hell that means, but we're going with it. Remind me to show y'all the commencement speech that he gave. Or you know, just use this link right here. Which ever.

I go back to the "lady" doctor to have those cells rechecked today. I would just like to go on the record of saying that I know it's necessary, but I don't like having to go back and have tests run every six months. Boo. I have much more important things to do. You know, like It's Always Sunny and tacos. We just had this talk. I don't know why I felt the need to tell y'all this, but we all know- I DO WHAT I WANT.

I talked to Noodle Friday. Friday? Saturday? One of those days, and in the short little conversation that we had she told me about her new boyfriend. She also sent me a picture of him. I replied with the usual- "Oh, he's a cutie!" And wanted to know all about him and how they are doing. Apparently I know him and he was "offended" that I didn't remember him. (He wasn't really offended, they were teasing me). The worst part? She wouldn't tell me who he was, and instead made me think it out. Damn.

Well, I was getting ready for work this morning I started thinking about it and I finally got it. Noodle's boyfriend, I mean. Keep up. I think that he was the boy that used to talk to me my Ag class all the time. He sat next across from me. I, of course, immediately sent Noodle a message informing her that I had cracked the case wide open. Basically, because I wanted to feel like Scooby and Shaggy when they solved a mystery. The message read: Wait! Did I have Ag class with him? Is he that Andrew?! Did I just solve the mystery?! You have SO many questions to answer when you read these messages. Basically, I'm hoping that I'm right. Otherwise I'm going to look like an ass, and have to start from scratch. Which would suck, but you know.

I'm feeling a bit nostalgic today. Can you tell? Well, in honor of that my Facebook status reads- "Well, hello mister fancypants. I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things, right now: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town". Nope. Still funny. Which if you know me, you know that's one of Bruce Campbell's (AMAZING) lines from Army of Darkness (one of the greatest movies ever). I love Bruce Campbell. And now I want a taco. A couple tacos. Doritos locos tacos. And guacamole. But specific guacamole from either the little Mexican restaurant down the street here or Chili's. But if it's Chili's I'm gonna need shrimp fajitas to.

One more thing before I go, y'all need to try the drinks that I have been my go to drink since it got warm outside. These drinks are: WATER MOCCASINS?!! Anyone? A water moccasin is a drink made up of crushed ice, pineapple juice, and Crown Royal. And they are delicious. Oh, right, and Dani brought me the book- Bossypants (I love Tina Fey) to borrow so that I can read it. So I will be here soon. And Aunt Susi brought me a giant snickerdoodle cookie (thank you, AS!) from Paradise Bakery.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Yeah, well, screw it, I'm too tired for titles.

Remember yesterday when I vaguely mentioned that I had a toothache that I was going to the dentist today to have taken care of? I think I may have in passing mentioned that I had resorted to eating Tylenol for lunch and was going to bed at seven, not to sleep, but just so that I could lay on the heated beanbag. (Again, not dirty). Yeah, well, last night things escalated.

I was in a normal amount of pain by the time I got off of work. I have a pretty high pain tolerance, for the most part, so I was taking it like a champ. I mean, I complained a lot little, but I was being an adult about it. I went to the grocery store, did the things around the house that needed done, went back out to the store to get cat food, showered and took a seat to watch some TV. Question?! Does anyone know how hard it is to eat when you can only chew on one side and you can't fully chomp down, because it hurts the other side? I do. It took me 45 minutes to eat a burger last night and I finally just gave up.

I went to bed and that's when the real horror started. Miserable, party of one, right here. My mouth hurt so bad that at one point I'm pretty sure that I just had lockjaw and I wanted to saw the whole left side of my head off. Yes. The entire head. I bet I got a total of 45 minutes of sleep last night and boy am I paying for it this morning. Hell, I paid for it then too.

Do you ever notice that when you're in pain, or can't sleep, or both how everything annoys you? See, my uncles have about 20 clocks (yes, the rest of us know how excessive this is) in their house that go off every hour and half hour at one minute intervals. This has never really bothered me. I guess I'm just used to it or something. But last night. Last night, they were annoying. No, they were mocking me is what they were doing. Mocking me, I say.

12:00 a.m.- Ding. Man, I never realized that these clocks went off so much.
12:30 a.m.- Dong. They go off every half hour too?
1:00 a.m.- Ding. You're not sleeping.
1:30 a.m.- Dong. You're still not sleeping.
2:00 a.m.- Ding. I'm in so much pain right now. SO MUCH.
2:30 a.m.- Dong. AHHH!!
3:00 a.m.- Ding. You're not going to sleep at all.
3:30 a.m.- Dong. You're just going to hurt for the rest of your life.
4:00 a.m.- Ding. These clocks are mocking me. They are seriously mocking me.
4:30 a.m.- Dong. If I had a meat mallet or a chainsaw right now, the left side of my head would be gone right now.
5:00 a.m.- Ding. (time to get up for work). I f*@$#^g hate clocks.

So as you can see I'm a bit tired and irritable today. Plus, I'm still wanting to cut off half of my head. So you know, there's that. All people annoy me right now and I'm about four seconds away from losing my sunny disposition. I've tried to take my mind off of all of this. You know, entertain myself so as to not think about it. So far I've managed to do all of my work. I got a message from my friend Sunshine discussing ninjas, prison, and fires. I've talked to Dani about her crazy in-laws. I've FB stalked Dean's mom, I'm still not really sure why, but I assume it has something to do with me thinking about Dean when I was unable to sleep last night. I wonder how he's doing. And I've made a mental note of all of the clothes that I would love to be able to wear, but am too fat to actually wear. Also, I'm super annoyed with all things that involve the opposite gender today. Why? Why should you be so nice? Just leave. Me. Alone. 

I never thought that I would say this, but I'm beyond glad that I go to the Dentist today. If she doesn't immediately rip this tooth out of my head, I'll probably just commandeer all of her instruments and do it myself. Not sure if that will work out in my favor, but I guess we'll see.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Legen- wait for it.

I have nothing of substance to share with the world today. Literally, nothing. I could ramble on and on with the happenings of the world, but frankly, you all know what's going on. You know that Alice from the Brady Bunch passed away (and if not, I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you). You know that Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting chopped her long blonde locks into a pixie cut (could she BE any cuter? I mean, damn her adorability). You know that Maleficent opened this weekend, and is apparently a HUGE success. You know all of these things. Well, you know that if the homepage on your work computer is set to Yahoo, that is.

I'm aware that all of this isn't 'world news', but frankly when I read about all of the things happening in the world, it makes me a little depressed. The news never has anything happy to tell you. NEVER. It's always murder, rape, violence, stabbing, hate crimes, so on and so forth. Don't we have enough problems without doing horrible things to each other? I mean, come on people. Quit being a bunch of jerks, and find something to do that doesn't consist of you joining in the running of being the worst human being on the planet. Not a title that anyone should want to hold.

But I digress. Because of all of this I have decided to share only two things for today. I mean, it's my first post for June, so why not? Also, Aunt Susi and Uncle Roger close on their new house in 10 days. Count it people. 10. Whoop whoop!!

When I got off of work Friday, Momma and I ran some errands and then we headed over to Aunt Poot and Uncle Darrell's. They had asked us to come over for a visit, so we thought that we would just hang out with them for a little bit. Two pints of crown, some hard cider, a few beers, and a half a bottle of vodka later we were all laughing, talking, and having a good time. Then because everyone was starving we all ate pizza....and ice cream. What? It was delicious. Quit judging. You don't know my life. Just kidding, simmer, simmer. Then we went home, I made Kenny tea, and I changed clothes, curled up in my bed and passed out fell asleep after watching Friends. We hung out around the house and ran some errands on Saturday. Then yesterday Kenny, Jim, and Shylyn went with their friends to a cookout, and we went back over to Aunt Poot and Uncle Darrell's to cook out and hang out. Cause we do what we want.

Question of the week: What do you do when someone doesn't follow the script to exact, like you have it played out in your head? Ignore them, of course. LIKE AN ADULT.

And most importantly, guess what started filming last week? Uhh, only the best show ever in the history of existence. That's right- Sons of Anarchy did!! Can I get an amen?!! AMEN!! I follow Kurt Sutter on everything possible, except the Twitter, y'all know that I couldn't figure out the Twitter, and I keep a look out for all things seventh season. I'm sad that it's going to be the last, but I also know that it's going to be LEGEN- what for it- DARY. Yes kids, I just went NPH on you. That's how excited I am. Did I mention that Marilyn Manson is going to be a recurring character and that Charlie Hunnam is practically a demi-god? No? Well, those are both facts of equal importance. Just saying. 

In all fairness, I told you at the beginning that I had nothing of substance. So if you read all of this, and got to the very end and the only thing that you can think is- "What the eff, Katie?!!" Well, this is as much of your fault as it is mine. Happy Monday, everybody. Here's to another long week of longing for the summer weekend. Cheers!!