Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Can we all just take a minute and talk about how excited I am that it's ok to Winona again?!

(Please, I never stopped Winonaing. If only I could pull off a pixie cut with such ease).


I am a huge Winona Ryder fan. I think that she is just a delightful little ball of fun that just so happens to be the perfect mix of 80s grunge and 90s angst. There's nothing about her that isn't delightful (please, excuse the year 2001, we've all had our downhill slide moments), and she has a new show premiering on Netflix come July 15th (Stranger Things- and yes, I'll be watching it).

Personally, I think, after a couple of decades as one of the most successful actresses out there, she deserved to take a couple of years for herself just to relax. Don't get me wrong, I love her films/shows, but even I know that a lady needs a break on occasion (ammirite, ladies?). She had that break a few years back and ever since she started up again, she hasn't stopped.

With her film/tv series career going full force (yeah, she was totally Spock's mom in the Star Trek remakes and then some), her fianc├ęs of the past in the media (#johnnyandwinonaforever), and 80s/90s fashion trends making a comeback (I could not be more excited about this if I tried), it looks like she is going to be around for a really long time to come.

And I have to say..... I'm more than good with that.

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

There's a busy weekend on the horizon.

(I'm already tired just thinking about it).


Have you ever made plans and get excited and completely wore out by the thought of it all at once? It's like you can't wait for all of this to happen, but at the same time, you're also thinking- "I'm already tired tomorrow, what's going to happen in a couple of days?"

That's where I am right now.

I'm excited for this weekend to get here. Momma, Aunt Poot, and I are going to have a good time and be incredibly busy. The fun kind of busy where you're doing things at a steady pace, but it's things that you actually want to do. I think people call that "having plans" or something. I wouldn't know, because I try to avoid all things social (remind me to tell you what my brother did to me- I may still punch him in the throat for it), but every now and then, I make a couple.

And this weekend falls on that spectrum. The incredibly rare one.

Mostly, we're just all going to hang out and do random things, but we also plan on going to breakfast Saturday morning and the fair come Saturday evening. And all sorts of things in between. Personally, I'm the most excited about breakfast (give me french toast w/ fruit or give me death!..... or something dramatic like that), but it's also going to be nice to just relax and have a fun little day. We don't ride carnival rides or anything like that at the fair, we just like to go and look around.

They usually have some pretty neat things to gander at. One year they had an entire display tent dedicated to horror movies with Freddy Krueger patrolling the door. That year my cousin Ashley and her wife Val went with us and Ashley is petrified of Krueger, so needless to say shit went down and what went down was a thirty year old woman running through the fairgrounds screaming like a tiny little troll.

Usually Solae would be attached at my hip during all of this, but she's staying with her friend Reagan alot this summer, so I'm pretty sure that she won't even be home come Saturday. Which is good, we all want her to have fun and see her friends when they're out of school. Although this summer break of hers she is trying to talk me into either a) going zip-ling with her b) going to an entire gymnasium full of trampolines with her or c) all of the above. She'll eventually wear me down and win, I know she will, but for now I enjoy pretending that I didn't hear what she said when she asked last month.

And Sunday (if it's not too hot- we'll see, forecast says 93°) we're going to have a cookout for Fathers Day for Uncle Darrell. Like I said, if it's too hot we all might decide eff that and order pizza, but for now, the plan is cookout. I guess we'll see when it gets here. I should probably find time somewhere in there to mow grass too, but let's be honest, I don't want to and our grass needs a serious break (the sun has managed to kill a bunch of it and a box of our flowers..... and our entire daisy collection..... and warped a few more. Needless to say, the sun has been vicious this summer and it's only the middle of June!!

I'm so excited for french toast at this point. 

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

How weird would it be to hang out with your brothers former "other woman"?

(Edie needs to take a poll- and not the election kind).


So..... I have a friend named Edie. That hussie is always coming to me for her problems and/or conundrums of life. Well, she needs a little help out, once again, because she's completely horrible about making adult decisions.

You see, Edie has a brother. We'll call this brother of hers- Jeff. And Edie loves Jeff with all of her heart, but sometimes Jeff is a dinkus. It's like he just can't help it. Even when he's aware that it's a bad idea/ plan and you try to tell him that it's going to blow up in his face worse than shaking the battery in your car, he still does it. And then guess what happens? That shit blows up.

Jeff has also always kind of fancied himself to be a "ladies man" even though Edie has told him multiple times that this is in fact not true. However, the female race has decided not to back Edie up on this too often, and girls have thrown themselves at him (leaving Edie with a wtf look on her face and utter confusion in her brain). Like, a lot. But he doesn't pick normal girls, oh no, he tends to get the crazies or for lack of a better term, "emotionally unstable" ones. Seriously, one tried to stab him with a pair of scissors and he had to climb out of the bathroom window. Another story for another day.

Every now and then though, he gets one that's clearly a psycho, but also pretty fun to hang out with. Most are boring and Jeff's sister and mother can't stand them (because they're a giant pain in the ass), but once in a great while, they like said girl. They (Edie and her mom) get along with her, hang out with her, and think she's a relatively good person. A little annoying and dramatic maybe, but a good person. And then shit blows up in Jeff's face (ALWAYS) and the girl is never to be found (you know, once he manages to actually get rid of her) again.

Except this time, Edie and the girl are still social media friends, still text occasionally, and talk about the randomness of things from time to time. And Jeff doesn't know this, but it's not like Edie's hiding it. She just hasn't told him and he hasn't asked, and by the way, SHE'S A GROWN ASS WOMAN.

And if you really think about it, it's not fair for Edie to suffer just because she has a dinkus brother, right? Afterall, she did try to tell him that shit was going to hit the fan and he wouldn't listen. And maybe this girl and her have some friendship goals in common. Maybe they have a mutual love for shark movies and taco bell. And maybe this chick can crochet Edie a giant blanket that looks like a shark that's chomping on her and that could come in handy, because Edie really wants one of those damn things. But then, Edie knows that somehow that shit will get turned around on her and the following conversation will have to happen-

Jeff: "Why would you hang out with a girl that tried to ruin my entire life?!!"
Edie: "The same reason that you never mow the f*cking grass or take the trash out."
Jeff: "What's does that even mean?!"
Edie: "It means, I GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW, WILL WE?!"

Because Edie is mature and loves the eff word. So, when the girl reached out to Edie to suggest that they go and see that new shark movie coming out at the end of this month (The Shallows) that Edie REALLY wants to see, she found herself asking if hanging out with this girl would really be so bad. Sure, she tried to ruin Jeff's whole life and got him fired from his last job. BUT it's not like Jeff is innocent in all of that cluster f**k of a situation and it turned out pretty good for him. His actual girlfriend didn't dump him (because she's stupid) and he likes his new job MUCH better than the other one, plus all of that was like four/five months ago..... So, is it really even all that bad?

The answer is yes. She can't hang out with this girl (because she asked her mom and her mom reminded her of how much a psycho this girl actually is), but that doesn't mean that she still won't pine for the movie showing and the amazing blanket that could've been..... And you know what Edie's learned from this whole situation? You know, now that we've discussed our way all of the way through it.

Edie loves sharks. And Jeff is a douche canoe.    

Sunday, June 5, 2016

The 500. What do I have to say about that?

(My biggest anniversary yet).


I realized this morning that the next post I have, will make 500. Seriously, 500 posts that I've rambled and let lay my sarcasm upon. It's almost weird. Usually I lose interest in things fairly quickly, but writing has never been one of those things. At least, not when I'm writing about the things that I want to be. I think that's why my posts are usually all over the place. They range from my family to movies and everything else in between.

In order to celebrate my "500 posts" I wanted to do a lengthy post consisting of all of my favorites from this time period, and then it hit me. What hit me? The fact that I would have to start in April 2013 and work my way up to June 2016, that's what. I would have to go through over three years of my own rambling, and my inherent laziness overcame me. I know, I'm ridiculous. And I'm good with it.

So, instead of a long ass post consisting of ones that already exist (you can read through them all, if you would like to), I figured I would commemorate it by acknowledging the fact that it's the 500th and share a picture. Because pictures make everything better. Usually. As you can tell, Tayder was extremely focused on being happy for me. He's a real gem that one. Hopefully, I'll have another 500 and many more after that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some celebrating to do.

Where's my cake?!