We are pulling into the home stretch my friends. How am I even making this into so many posts? It literally took me two nights to watch the first season of this show (#NetflixBingeWatching). And yet, here we are.
While I admit that this is probably ridiculous and that I should've maybe never even started this.... I've never been known for taking the easy way out of for not doing dumb things. Hey, you win some you lose some.... right?! Nevermind, just go with it.
Read about
Part I here,
Part II here,
Part III here, and now we're onto Part IV.
Episode (Chapter) Ten: The Lost Weekend
Official Synopsis: When Fred decides to finalize the divorce with Archie’s mother, Mary, Archie hides his true feelings. Archie tries to win Valerie back with a romantic evening, however, Betty hijacks his plans when she decides to throw Jughead a surprise birthday party. Once Cheryl learns of the party, she decides to make it interesting and things quickly get out of control. Meanwhile, Veronica contemplates whether she should participate in the deposition to help get her Dad released.
My thoughts: HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
JUGHEAD!!! I mean, I kind of feel about
Veronica and her dad like I do about
Josie and the Pussycats.... like, I'm not going to stop watching because of them, but I'm also not really into it either.
Archie, you told
Betty that it was
Jughead's birthday?! He's going to be SO pissed off. I love that everybody keeps referring to
Betty and
Jughead as boyfriend/girlfriend and they are the only ones that won't admit it until the very end.... really
Juggie?! Gonna go down swinging.... alright. I love that
Jughead and
Betty went to the movies for his birthday (An American Werewolf in London!!).
Fred, don't leave town, bro.... this "birthday party" is gonna get so out of hand. Annndddd.... it's out of hand.
Jughead is pissed,
Betty is upset, and
Archie is LIT THE F*CK UP. Get over yourself,
Valerie....
Archie is trying to talk to you, not accost you and throw a fit like you are clearly doing right now.
Juggie thinks he only has two friends? He has more than two friends....
KEVIN IS TO YOUR FRIEND,
JUGHEAD. Seriously, you're gonna be that big of a douche,
Jug? Fine, but you're gonna feel bad about it in about two seconds.... told you. Ugh,
Chuck. You might call everybody out on their "dirty little secrets"
Chuck, but you are also the dude that was lying about hooking up with girls in really gross ways when you weren't so I feel like you still earn the biggest loser title. OH SHIT!!
Juggie knocked the f*ck out of
Chuck! I mean, he got a hit back, but DAMN.... and the
FP threw
Chuck out and made everybody go home.
Boom. No
Juggie, you don't need
FP to give you any tips on your right hook.... that bitch went down like a sack of taters. Hang up the phone, Drunk
Archie! This is all
Cheryl's fault. Listen to
FP,
Jug.... go talk to
Betty.... at
Pop's.... and tell her about how you have layers so you guys can bond and kiss and be even more adorable than you already are.
FP knows
Alice.... sounds feisty and like good ole times. Oh snap,
Archie is gonna hook up with
Veronica now? That boy has too much damn energy. I love that they both fell asleep and the next morning when
Veronica tries to sneak out
Jughead catches her.... and immediately they have a "I won't say anything, because you really are my friend" moment.... I told you that you had more than just two friends,
Jug.
Fred brought
Archie's mom back? Is that
Molly Mother-F*cking Ringwald?!
Jughead's Input: "
Weekdays, from 8:25am to 3:01pm we adhere to a strict regimen. Everything in our lives is controlled, but then something like the murder of Jason Blossom happens and you realize, there is no such thing as control, there is only chaos. Nevertheless, some of us strive to impose and maintain order, in what is, fundamentally, an orderless world. A fact which would very soon be confirmed, in ways none of us could have foreseen."
Episode (Chapter) Eleven: To Riverdale and Back Again
Official Synopsis: Betty is slammed overseeing Homecoming and Reunion weekend, but Alice wants her help with the Jason Blossom investigation. Alice turns to Archie and Veronica for help, but when Betty discovers they are working with her mom, she is not happy. After seeing his father, FP, start to clean up his act, Jughead wonders if it’s the right time to give him another chance. Cheryl and Polly have both decided to go to Homecoming in Jason’s honor, until a revelation waylays their plans. Meanwhile, Fred and Mary attend the Homecoming dance, leaving Fred to possibly reconsider the divorce.
My thoughts: Molly Ringwald/
Archie's mom is not only named
Mary, but they expect me to believe that
Andie Walsh Mary and
Dylan McKay Fred were kind of highschool sweethearts? I don't buy it. Aw,
Juggie is stopping in at his dad,
Billy Loomis FP's trailer.... and it's clean? And he's sober first thing in the morning? And he shaved? And they are just gonna talk about
Jughead's manuscript?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!
Juggie has so much hope for the future now. Shut up,
Veronica! Maybe mind your own business and deal with your shady ass daddy before you go poking around with other people's.
Cheryl is just going to bring
Polly as her date to the homecoming dance? Because it should've been
Polly and
Jason there in the first place? Ok.... I'm just gonna let that one go.... but only because
Polly stumbled upon
Clifford Blossom in a wing of their house (how rich do you have to be before your house starts having wings?) and he has a billion red wigs.... I don't trust him.
Cheryl and
Polly found the ring.... and now
Cheryl is tripping again.... and the mom drugged
Polly with a milkshake.... what. the. f*ck.
Cheryl did NOT flush that ring and if y'all think she did, you're dumb.
Alice just invited
Juggie and
Billy Loomis his dad over for dinner without asking
Betty? She's up to something.... but
Juggie is excited and
Betty can't let him down! Did anybody really think this this dinner was gonna go good?
Betty is 100% the f*ck over it and they are going to the dance.... look, I'm glad y'all are doing better, but you CANNOT move
Jughead to Toledo,
Billy FP. Damn you,
Archie and
Veronica.... y'all shouldn't be doing all this shit....
Jughead is gonna be pissed off and we JUST ESTABLISHED that y'all are friends. Look at
Fred walking into that homecoming dance with
Mary AND
Hermione. Like. a. Boss.
Betty caught y'all!! And now
Jughead is mad at her too?! Oh come on, she didn't know and tried to stop shit before it happened.... yeah, he doesn't care, he's pissed:
“to think I was going to pass on moving to Toledo with my family for you,” she loves you dammit, Jug!! LET HER LOVE YOU. She didn't do anything wrong! Annndddd.... now Billy Loomis FP has been arrested for Jason Bloom's murder. There was NOT a gun in that lockbox when Archie and Veronica were snooping in his trailer. Where is Jughead going? Omg, he's crying and I can't take it. Seeing Juggie cry all alone is too much for me. Betty can't find him.... I wouldn't talk to Archie and Veronica either, Betty.... but y'all HAVE to find Jughead and tell him about the gun plant!! Who is framing Billy FP and why?!
Jughead's Input: "
People like to say that the death of Jason Blossom changed everything at Riverdale High, but certain things, certain traditions, never change. Take homecoming for instance. Though Jason’s jersey had been retired, the Riverdale Bulldogs would still be playing their arch-rivals the Baxter High Ravens with the River Vixens cheering them on. As in previous years, graduates from days of Riverdale past will come to town to relive their more youthful, more carefree days or… to make up for lost time."
Episode (Chapter) Twelve: Anatomy of a Murder
Official Synopsis: Archie and Veronica are shocked to learn of the arrest, but know they need to come clean to their parents about what they uncovered. Still hurt by the betrayal of his friends and torn over who to trust, Jughead reluctantly joins them in a quest for the truth. Meanwhile, Cheryl confronts her mom about why she treats her so much worse than she ever did with Jason.
My thoughts: Juggie.... I know you feel upset and alone right now, but you CAN'T move to Toledo. And now your mom says you can't either?! Oh, f*ck her. Like, I can say no, but you're damn momma shouldn't. PLEASE STOP CRYING. I'm so glad that
Betty,
Archie, and
Veronica found you before you skipped town (I've lived in FL, it's not all that great and you'll hate it). And now y'all are on the hunt to find whoever is framing
Billy FP! What?!
FP, you didn't kill
Jason and you're being framed, we all know it, so WHY are you confessing? You're lying. And now
Alice Cooper has a gun too? Where are all of you people getting these guns?! WHAT?! THE
COOPERS ARE REALLY
BLOSSOMS?!?! Which means
Polly and
Jason were hooking up and
Polly is now pregnant with her COUSINS BABY. That's right, go get
Polly RIGHT F*CKING NOW. I agree with
Alice, y'all probably killed your son to cover up the incest.... which blows my mind that people are just NOW throwing that rumor out there.
Betty and
Jughead need each other now more than ever.
Juggie looks so sad talking to his dad.... and he knows
FP is lying through his damn teeth!!
FP called
Joaquin?
Kevin's boyfriend? My poor little
Kevin. That's right
Joaquin, the least you can do is take them to that other Southside Serpent that could maybe help.... annnddddd.... he's dead. All of these parents should be super pissed off right now.... but I also need these kids to help
Juggie, so y'all will just have to get over it. Now
Hermione is in trouble?! ONE PROBLEM AT A TIME, PLEASE.
Kevin is getting
Joaquin out of town.... poor
Kev, he really cared about that gang member. At least
Joaquin gave
Kevin a piece of "evidence" before he skipped town.... and the kids found the bag with
Jason Blossom's letterman jacket in it. Wait, does this make
FP look more guilty or help?! That's right,
Betty, SLAY ALL DAY GIRL AND GET IT. What's on the USB drive? All of these kids look officially traumatized. What was on it?!
Betty.... why are you calling
Cheryl? What's happening?
Alice is turning the USB into
Sheriff Keller? Ok, now we get to see what's on it.... HOLY. SHIT.
Clifford Blossom murdered his own son?!! And
Cheryl is hella bent on revenge!!
FP confessed, because
Clifford came to him the night he was arrested and threatened to kill
Jughead?! I'LL BE DAMNED. And now
FP can't get out, because he still has a bunch of other charges? Does
Juggie at least feel better knowing that his dad isn't a murderer?
Mary Andrews is leaving (Bye, Felicia) and
Veronica's dad is getting out of prison? Go arrest,
Clifford Blossom.... wait....
Cheryl, why do you look like that on your porch? What's in the barn?!
CLIFFORD BLOSSOM HUNG HIMSELF?! That, or
Cheryl got shit done, because bitches get shit done. And there are drugs everywhere.... shit is getting really realer than real up in here.
Jughead's Input: "
And, though one question had been answered that night, that it was Clifford Blossom who killed Jason, a new mystery loomed over Riverdale. Why had he done it? It was a question only Clifford himself would be able to answer..."