Monday, March 31, 2014

It's all good, I know what you meant.

I went to lunch today with my brother (Greg) and his girlfriend (Chrissy). They picked me up at work and we went out to Taco Bell, because duh Taco Bell is the food of the Gods, well the Gods and poor folk like me.

Moving on- When I walked out to their van I pushed my face up to her window making weird and inappropriate faces, like always. Then I got in and she turned around looked me up and down and then stared me in the face. This conversation ensued.

Me: What the hell is wrong with you? You look like you just seen Jude Law or something. Chrissy: You do realize that you're the only person that would be happy about seeing Jude Law, right? Me: Ahhh...he's amazing and you should mind your tongue lady. How dare you blaspheme the Law! Chrissy: My bad, I forgot that I was talking about your future husband. Me: It's ok, you're forgiven and still have a place in our wedding. Chrissy: But no, I was just gonna say that you look really pretty. Me: Uhh...thank you. Chrissy: You're welcome. Seriously, you look really nice today. Me:...Thank you.

{{By the way Greg had me try that new Mountain Dew crap, I think it's Sangria or something, and I took one sip and politely informed them that it tasted like oompa loompa piss. Because it SO did. I'm not even lying a little bit. It's so disgusting!!}}

I was confused for a minute. I was all- "What's with the compliments? Have the pod people taken Chrissy? I wonder if Jude Law would be easy to track down. FOCUS, KATIE". And then I realized something. Chrissy has never seen me on a workday before seven pm. She's only seen me late at night and on the weekends. Do you know what I look like on the weekends? Well, I wear no makeup, I'm always in some form of sweats and/or ratty/Batman/Hogwarts shirt, constantly in my glasses, and have my hair pulled on top of my head into a messy bun. And my messy bun is nowhere near cute like all these other girls messy buns. When I say messy bun I mean, I haven't brushed my hair and haphazardly tried to pull it directly on top of my head so it won't fall in my face.

Basically she's never seen me not look like a freaking' hobo. And not cute little "hobo chic". I'm talking straight up hobo. I literally could've worn a red trash bag to work and if I had a little blush on and hairspray in she probably would've thought that I was trying out for a pageant. So the lesson here? Well, thank goodness only my family and complete strangers see me on the weekends and I have no boyfriend, because I AM A MESS. But I love it. Me, my awkwardness, my style (or lack thereof), and my personality.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

I'm (just a little) ashamed to admit how much I liked that Disney movie.

I've been talking about that Disney movie- Frozen for a couple of months now. I didn't know anything about it, nor had I seen it, but Jayna told me about it every time I seen her, and she demanded that I see it ASAHP (You know- as soon as humanly possible). She even colored me a picture (of the reindeer- Sven) back in December as a present. Btw, I love it! How can one kid be so adorable? I still haven't figured that one out yet, but she is. Even cuter than normal cute kids. We're talking into adorable territory.

People have been obsessing over this movie for months and months now. Only every single person and their momma have done some form of rendition of that song- Let It Go. I mean in all fairness, it is a really catchy song. Like really catchy. I just watched the movie last night, but I've been singing that song for two months. Yeah, I know, but it's everywhere on the radio and TV. I think that there are more adults that got into it than kids. I know that's sad, but honestly we're all big kids at heart. At least I am. I may just be speaking for myself, but I'll take the fall for it. I am a giant big kid at heart. I never understood why it's frowned upon to keep loving Disney movies as you get older. We're expected to grow up with these films and then forget all about them just because we're adults? Nope. No thank you. I'll pass. I'll continue to keep loving them. Except Pinocchio. That one scared me.

Anyhoos, back to Frozen. Like said Jayna has told me about it every opportunity that has presented itself, but even Danielle was backing her dude. They went and seen it in theaters I think something like four times. Yeah, four times. A couple of them were with the neighbor kids, but still that's a lot of times to go see one movie. And they liked it the same every time. When it came out on DVD, they went to the store at four in the morning and bought it. Not gonna lie, I was thinking- WTH?! what movie (unless it's part of the- LOTR series) is worth going to see four times and getting up to buy at four in the morning? I thought that they were a couple of crazy loons. Honestly, I really did. a couple of nutballs.  

(Best song of the movie- Reindeers are better People). Well, like I said- talking, talking, talking, and when they were done with that- a little more talking. I was in no big rush to see it, but the more that I read about people's love for it and the more Dani talked about it, I'm not gonna lie- the more that I wanted to see it.

So, while we were out over last weekend I made a stop by the Redbox to rent it. Whatevs, they were completely out so that wasn't happening. I was all- no biggy. We'll watch it some other time. I rented a couple of other ones (Thor 2: The Dark World and About Time- both of which were SO good) and we watched those. But that didn't make me want to not see- Frozen. So I thought about it for a couple of days, and I did what any and every sensible 24 year old girl would do. I stopped by the store yesterday on my way home from work for a couple of things and ended up buying Frozen (and a pair of black boots that are two sizes to big, but they were on sale and I love them). Yes, I am a grown woman that bought a Disney movie with no kids, and no intention of sharing. I bought it strictly because I wanted to see it. That is my only justification. It was driving me crazy not knowing what all the fuss was about.


I'm very glad that I did. i mean, I still love all of the Disney movies that I grew up with. I'm still convinced that there are very few things that can take the place of the beloved characters that helped to mold you, but I haven't seen a movie like this that I've liked in quite some time. But I watched this one and was like- Seriously?! So good!! I liked it so much I thought that I would share some of my favorite parts. (I SWEAR THAT I WASN'T LISTENING TO THE SOUNDTRACK WHEN I WAS ALONE IN MY OFFICE THIS MORNING...OOPS).

  • Olaf singing- "Winter's a good time to sit close and cuddle, but put me in summer and I'll be" [pauses in front of a puddle] ..."happy snowman".
  • Kristoff- "Your hair...it's turning white" Anna- "Does it look bad" [pause] Kristoff- "No". Olaf- "You hesitated".
  • Anna- "I think that some company is overdue; I started talking to the pictures on the wall" [points to painting of Joan of Arc] "hang in there Joan"
  • [After listening to Olaf sing about summer] Kristoff- "I'm gonna tell him". Anna- "Don't you dare!" Kristoff- "Well, somebody's gotta tell him".
  •  Anna- [after explaining features of the new sled] "Do you like it"? Kristoff- "Like it? I love it!" [spins her around] "I could kiss you!" [puts her down] "I could. I mean, I'd like to. I- may I? We me? I mean, may we? Wait, what?" Anna- [kisses him on the cheek] "We may". Kristoff- [kisses Anna].
  • [Olaf finds Anna freezing to death, he quickly builds a fire to keep her warm.] Anna- [concerned for olaf] "Olaf, get way from there!" Olaf- [mesmerized] "So this is heat. I love it." [his hand catches fire] "Ow, but don't touch it."
  • Kristoff- "So, uh tell me. What made the queen go all ice crazy?" Anna- "Oh well, it was all my fault. I got engaged, but then she freaked out because I'd only just met him, you know that day. She said she wouldn't bless the marriage and..." Kristoff- [interrupts] "Hang on, you mean to tell me that you got engaged to someone you just met that day?" Anna- "Yeah, anyway I got mad and so she got mad and then she tried to walk away and I grabbed her glove..." Kristoff- [interrupts] "Hang on, you mean to tell me that you got engaged to someone you just met that day?" Anna- "Yes, pay attention, but the thing is she wore the gloves all the time, so I just thought, maybe she has a thing about dirt..." Kristoff- [interrupts] "Didn't your parents ever warn you about strangers?" Anna- "Yes they did" [moves further away from Kristoff].
  • Olaf- "I can't feel my legs!" Kristoff- "Those are my legs!" Olaf- [as his lower body runs by] "Ooh, do me a favor and grab my butt" Kristoff- [grabs Olaf's lower body and puts the rest of him on top]. Olaf- "Ah, that feels better."
  • Anna- "But I want to help!" Kristoff- "No. I don't trust your judgement." Anna- "Excuse me?" Kristoff- "Who marries a man they just met?!"
  • Anna- "Kristoff loves me?" Olaf- "Whoa, you really don't know anything about love, do you?"
  • Kristoff- "Hey guys!" Anna- "They're rocks!" Kristoff- [off in the distance] "You are a sight for sore eyes." Olaf- [whispering] "He's crazy!" Kristoff- [off in the distance] "Hey, whoa, I don't even recognize you. You've lost so much weight." Olaf- [whispering to Anna] "I'll distract them while you run" [loud slow voice] "Hi Sven's family! It's nice to meet you!" [whispering] "Because I love you, Anna, I insist you run." [loud, slow voice] "I understand you're love experts. Ooh!" [whispering] "Why aren't you running?"
And those are just some of the cute little parts from the movie. I'm telling y'all if you haven't watched it (whether you have little kids or not) you need to. Seriously, I thought that I would feel really silly watching it by myself (technically, I watched it with Cricket and Kenny, but still), but I didn't. And I have no lie to tell- I'm sure that I'll be watching it again. It didn't feel like a Disney movie. It just felt like a normal movie. You know, something for everyone. Like I said- WE'RE ALL BIG KIDS AT HEART :)

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

I asked the EXACT same questions, Louis.

Did I ever tell y'all how much I love Buzzfeed? Because I so do. I could spend hours upon hours just scrolling and reading through it. I mean, it has a very informative section that keeps you in the loop about all of the important things going on all across our country, and the world for that matter. But let's face it- the best part? It is beyond funny. It has quizzes and random articles that you can just get lost in and laugh for hours upon hours. My favorite writer on the staff?

That would easily be- Louis Peitzman. Hands down, no questions asked. He has written some of my favorite pieces from that website. (He's also a senior editor for Buzzfeed). There's a little bit of everything in his writing, but I love his lists. I know, I am weird, I don't need anybody else to tell me that. I got it. Plus I always get suggestions (i.e. movies to watch, music to look up, food to try, etc) from him all of the time. Some of my favorites of his are- The 19 best horror films of 2013, 58 romantic comedies you need to see before you die, How James van der Beek became a character actor trapped in a leading man's body, 27 moments to remember from the season finale of The Following, The 29 hottest tv hookups of 2013, The 12 silliest lines from Titanic, among other ones. That's just a few.

But my absolute favorite of his? Well, it just so happens to be- 82 unanswered questions from the Twilight Saga. I know that not everybody gets on Buzzfeed like I do (I know that I should be more social, but I don't wanna), but I thought that I would share what Louis had to ask about the 'saga', and also to share my opinions on his questions. Just because I can and it's fun. People have been talking about it lately, since all those other movie series are coming out, so I guess I have Twilight on the brain. I'm not taking credit for his work, I just thought that I would share it and talk about it. Why? Because I asked the EXACT SAME questions, Louis. Don't get me wrong, I still love the movies, wow, I can't believe that I just admitted that, but the questions are legit. Also, I say legit now.

Twilight: #1: Who let Jacob leave the house with that hair? I have no idea, but they need to hold his ass down and brush it or shave it. Something. #2: Why is everyone so attracted to the Cullens when their defining characteristic seems to be the stankface? I think that the stankface is appealing to some people. just like how people from the Jersey Shore are appealing to some. It doesn't make any sense, but that's just how it goes. #3: Are Bella's friends always this boring, or are they just being extra dull to provide contrast with the exciting vampires? I think they are honestly just that boring. #4: Why don't the evil vampires make stankfaces? Because they do what they want, and besides did you see the blonde guy? If I was that hot with eternal life I would be smiling too. #5: Are vampires actually great drivers, or are they just dicks on the road? Just dicks. #6: In this day and age, do we still need an internet research montage? No we don't, but it's good for dramatic effect. At least I'm hoping that was their logic behind it. #7: Why does Edward call his sparkly skin- "the skin of a killer" when it is clearly the skin of a unicorn? Because he wants to sound macho, instead of admitting that he has in fact been using his girlfriend Victoria's Secret body glitter. #8: When Edward calls Bella- "his own personal brand of heroin", is that supposed to be a compliment? It worked for Courtney Love. Oh wait, never mind that was actual heroin. So, I don't really know. #9: How are the lion and the lamb supposed to consummate their relationship? Very carefully. #10: Is "spider monkey" really a term of endearment?  I guess it's better than- shitbrick, but not as good as- love bug. #11: Why isn't Bella more freaked out when she learns that Edward had been watching her sleep? I don't know, because that is some pretty creepy shit. #12: Where did the old-timey baseball uniforms come from? I'm assuming that when you've been alive for that long you tend to have a collection with a bit of everything. So probably there. If not, definitely Urban Outfitters. #13: Does Bella really regret NOTHING when she's about to die? Like, what about walking into a fatal trap? Or the fact that she fell for a 107 year old dead dude in a matter of 4 seconds? #14: How do vampire heads pop off so easily? Are they all that fragile? Practice with barbies? #15: Why is a teenager so eager to spend eternity with her first serious boyfriend? Because she knows that this is literally the peak of her life. I mean, she's kind of boring and whiny. 

New Moon: #16: Why did Jacob take the time to get buff if he wasn't also going to fix his hair? Because he's too busy writing shitty poetry and drinking lattes. #17: Has a paper cut ever caused this much trouble? Doesn't it sound so much more dramatic if instead of paper cut you used the term- "I have a traumatic laceration on my inner left digit?" #18: If the Cullens can just not go to school when they don't feel like it, why do they bother to go to school at all? The same reason stoners do. Force of habit. #19: Does Bella eat, or shower or move during her depression montage? I hope she at least showered. Eww. #20: What is the movie- "love spelled backwards is love" about? I don't know, but I'm assuming that it has Kate Hudson or Katherine Heigl in it. #21: Could Bella not come up with a better response to Laurent saying he was going to kill her than- "please don't?" Have you not watched both movies up until now? No, that's as good as you get with her. #22: Does Jacob have an infinite supply of shirts to ruin when he turns into a wolf? Maybe he should just buy a bigger size. #23: Are we supposed to just accept that Emily's werewolf boyfriend Sam mauled her face because he was pissed off? How is this even remotely ok? No. But in all fairness he mauled the face of "his soulmate" so do you wanna confront him? #24: How can this many giant wolves not take out a single vampire? Because gingers are crafty little devils. #25: Why does Jacob stop himself from kissing Bella just because the phone rings? Those are two unrelated actions. Maybe he realized that she hadn't showered during her depression montage and got caught downwind. #26: Shouldn't Edward verify that Bella is dead before killing himself? He should, but he also should have picked a more exciting girl to have as "heroin". Not the best decision maker. #27: With that cackle, did Aro really have any options besides villainy? Professional comedy club attender? #28: Will Edward's shiny skin really out him as a vampire or just someone that wears a lot of body glitter? Like I said. Victoria's Secret. Am I the only one that finds his pale skin and "v'"sexy as hell? Yes? Alrighty then. #29: Why does Bella offer to sacrifice herself to save Edward when she knows that he'll just commit suicide if she dies? Not the brightest crayon in the box. #30: If in the end Bella and Edward are back together and promise never to leave each other again, what was the point of this movie? To make a lot of money off of teenagers and their parents. P.s. It worked. Like a lot. #31: But seriously, when was the last time that Jacob wore a shirt? One that fit? #32: Why the hell does a century-old vampire propose to a teenage girl? Because he's obviously been doing drugs for a long time. You can't tell me that he didn't attend Woodstock. 
   
Eclipse: #33: Why does Bella still care about school when she's going to become a vampire as soon as she graduates? The same reason the Cullens do. There is no real reason. #34: Is Edward as bored by Bella's lame friends as I am? Yes. Yes, he is. #35: When did Victoria become a different actress? Opie Taylor's kid!! #36: What is "imprinting" and couldn't werewolves have picked a less gross word? Canoodling? #37: Would Jacob be less grumpy if he knew that Bella and Edward weren't having sex? Probably not. Because whether they're doing it or not, he still ain't getting laid. #38: Shouldn't Jacob apologize for kissing Bella against her will? And for hurting her hand with his face? Men have a lot of boundary issues in these movies. #39: Is Bella even listening to Jessica's graduation speech about how dumb it is to decide what you want for the rest of your life at 18? Would you listen to her? She's boring, so when she does manage to say something of substance, no one is actually paying attention. #40: Wouldn't the practice fight scene have been better if they were all naked? Yes. #41: How is Jacob so sure that Bella is into him? Were her repeated and straightforward rejections not enough? Can we say- sociopath? #42: Why is Edward so grossly obsessed with Bella's purity? They should've listened to him. #43: How is a ring any consolation for not getting laid? It's not. EVER. #44: Isn't body warmth reason enough to choose the werewolf over the vampire. No. He could decide to get that awful hair back. I for one, choose hypothermia. #45: Why does Bella suddenly decide to kiss Jacob? And how is Edward totally cool with it? Because she's indecisive and he's thinking- finally! She's doing something interesting. Or at all. #46: What was the point of giving Bree a back story if the Volturi were just going to kill her? There wasn't one. #47: Does Jacob honestly believe/think that dating him would be as easy as breathing? He's a WEREWOLF. Narcissistic sociopath?

Breaking Dawn (Part 1): #48: Why does Jacob even bother to put a shirt on if he's just going to angrily pull it off? Because sociopaths usually have some form of routine or at the very least a touch of OCD. #49: Is Edward's secret dark past really just that he used to kill very bad people? Because honestly who cares. Maybe if we got to see more of the stalker dude it would have been more interesting. Like Interview with the Vampire. #50: Could Bella and Edward maybe kiss less intensely in front of their family and friends? They could, but then what would be the point of the slow motion angle? #51: Why has everyone taken it upon themselves to worry about Bella's virginity? Once again, boundary issues in these films. #52: Is it supposed to be horrifying or romantic when Edward breaks the bed during sex? I think both. More so horrifying than romantic, but it is kind of hot. Except the fact that Bella's there. Eww. #53: Did no one consider the unsettling domestic abuse connotations when Bella is covered in bruises after her first night with Edward? not to condone domestic violence, but you would bruise her too. #54: How is Edward still turning down Bella when she's practically begging for sex? Would you wanna have sex with her again? #55: What is this weird pro-life message about the fetus being a baby doing in the middle of my vampire movie? It always gets snuck in there, dude. #56: Why is Bella so insistent on going through with the pregnancy even after Carlisle reveals that it's slowly killing her? Because she finally gets to do something partially interesting. #57: Does drinking blood through a straw really make it more palatable? I would think not. But hey, what do I know? #58: How is Charlie not demanding to see his daughter while she suffers from a mysterious illness? Would you want to catch that possibly contagious shit? #59: If Edward is telepathically communicating with the fetus, couldn't he just ask it nicely to stop killing his wife? He could, but then the movie would have been like 45 minutes shorter. #60: How is everyone pretending that Renesmee isn't the worst name ever conceived? It really is. Next will be a boy named- Charlisle. #61: Why does Edward have to perform the C-section with his teeth? Isn't that incredibly unhygienic? Very unhygienic, weren't there surgical instruments all around? His dad is a doctor that has to stitch folks up all the time. HELLO. #62: On a scale of 1 to 10, how dead is Bella exactly? I think about a 7. For now. #63: Why does Edward bite all over his beloved's corpse? s&m? #64: Seriously, though, how is imprinting different from falling in love, because I'm pretty sure Jacob just fell in love with that baby? Yeah, I don't care what they call it. He is totally making googly/wolfy eyes at that baby.

Breaking Dawn (Part 2): #65: Does being a vampire give you the power to zoom and enhance? Couldn't she have just got an updated Kodak or a Nikon? #66: Is Jacob totally over Bella now that he's crushing on her baby? Yep. And he's definitely still wanting to hit on that baby. #67: Why is Renesmee such a CGI abomination? Should've put more thought into that one. #68: How does Jacob outing himself as a werewolf to Charlie solve anything? It doesn't, but it gets him three of his favorite things: Taking his shirt off, Making people incredibly uncomfortable and Getting to keep that baby around so he can hit on it some more. #69: Why doesn't Charlie run screaming when he sees this? Like father, like daughter. #70: Can Renesmee fly? I think just jump and pause. #71: How am I supposed to keep track of all these new vampires? There are EIGHTEEN. The American guy that oddly enough sounds like he has a British/Irish accent for being from New England in the 1700s and the Egyptian Carrie with puppy dog eyes, are hot! #72: Why did it take five movies to get to Lee Pace? Right?!! Like I said- Hot! #73: Can any other vampires shoot lightning from their fingertips? Are vampires basically X-Men now? No, I think some just stand around trying to be all broody. They all have hair, so no. #74: Is there anything more frightening than Aro attempting to express joy? Having to actually meet him in real life? #75: Is Carlisle really dead? No. #76: Is Jasper really dead? No. #77: Is Jane really dead? No. #78: Is Aro really dead? No. #79: If no one actually died, what was the point of that BIG CLIMACTIC BATTLE THAT NEVER EVEN HAPPENED? To make us scream and then be all- WTF! #80: Will Jacob bother waiting till Renesmee's 18 if she's going to be fully grown at 7? Hello! he was talking about Bella's virginity all along and fell in love with a baby! Obviously he has issues and ain't waiting any longer than what he has to. #81: Do we really need a flashback to the wedding already? No. But what are you gonna do? #82: Whose awful idea was it to conclude the movie with this? I don't know, but I did like how they showed the whole cast from every movie. That was pretty cool. The quote however, not so much.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Top o' the mornin' to ya!!

Happy Saint Patty's Day, people!! The day of green green green!! Did I mention that I love Saint Patty's Day? Well, I do. I love it, because things are festive, you get to pinch people, there is green beer and....leprechauns. Yes, leprechauns. I would love to show you my very green outfit for this day (today), but unfortunately I haven't taken a picture of myself/my outfit yet today. Oops. So instead I thought that I would share a photo of me from "back in the day" when I was all leprechauned out. Erin go bragh!! Me from when I dressed up for my little people at the nursing home 5(?) 6(?) years ago. I know that it's a blurry picture, and that it's an old one, but it still makes me smile. At the time we weren't thinking- blog, we were thinking- make our little folks happy. And that's exactly what we did :) It was fun, and I was just about the right size to be a leprechaun. All in all, it was a good day! And now- here I am 5(?) 6(?) years later and even happier. Who would've thought? Basically-  Happy Saint Patty's Day!!

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Oscar or not, I still love and learned everything from him.

As most people know the 2014 Oscars were this past Sunday. And as most know, I was chanting for my man- Leonardo DiCaprio- to win. Because, well, he should already have like at least five Oscars by now. All I can say about him not is- robbed. Every. Single. Time. It literally took me this long to write this post, because I was so heartbroken.


Don't get me wrong, Matthew Mcconaughey is the bomb is that slang still a thing? I'm not sure, but I still wanted my guy to win. The LAST FOUR TIMES. More than that really, because those are just the times that he was nominated, not counting the times that I thought that he should've been nominated. Gangs of New York was a FANTASTIC movie/remake. I don't care what anybody else says. Not only is he beyond amazing, but I have taken life lessons from him ever since I was a kid. Well, his characters at least. You wanna know some? Well, I thought that you would ask, so I decided to share a few with y'all.

It's ok to be different:

My first life lesson came in the form of a little feller named Arnie. Arnie taught me at a young age that it was ok to be different. He taught me that no one is the same and just because someone is different doesn't mean that you should treat them that way. We all have feelings and your actions can affect someone elses feelings. Don't be a giant douche, just be who you are and accept other people for who they are too. If everyone was the same- how boring would our lives be? Seriously, don't be a jerk.

Real men wear suspenders:

When I started noticing guys (I was a late bloomer) I was very disappointed to find out that they didn't in fact still wear suspenders. I know that when most people think suspenders they think little old guys, but I think- sexy! Leo wears suspenders, so it must be amazing. (Yes we are now on a nickname basis, I know, right?) He gets better looking as he ages and you know what? He is still totally rocking those suspenders.

Not everything is what we think that it is: 

Sometimes we tend to look at something or a situation and automatically assume we know what's happening or going on. But that's not always the case. Sometimes things can look picture perfect and it will be the exact opposite. Sometimes you may think that you have the upper hand and then next thing you know you're flat on your back with Daniel Day Lewis stabbing you. Maybe you think that you're a detective trying to protect the world and you end up being a psycho killer that murdered your entire family and are now committed to an asylum. Maybe I took that one too literal.

Love knows no bounds:

Yeah, that's right. I started picturing guys in my head to be perfect at a very young age, (Titanic was released when I was seven) and ever since I have been looking for my very own Jack Dawson. Why? Because he knew how to love a lady. He was kind, sweet, attentive, saved her life, gave his for her own and loved her through all of her flaws. Immediately. It didn't matter that he was poor and she was rich. Or that they came from different sides of the planet. No, only that they loved each other.

But be careful what you're looking for:

Although, sometimes you can drive yourself crazy when you think that you found love and it's with the wrong person. They do nothing, but hurt you even though you'd do anything for them. Inception, anyone?

Real men love a curvy lady exactly how she is:
Look at that sexy little smirk.

Does this one really need an explanation? No one wants a stick. I mean, they might, but since I'm a curvy (by curvy I mean short and stout, yes just like the little teapot) girl I'm sticking to this one. Are his ladies rail thin? No, they look like real ladies. They have curves and thickness, and they're usually so beautiful it's ridiculous. And he loves them for it. He looked at her like she was the most beautiful and only woman in the world. No matter if they admit it or not, all women want that.

Don't go swimming in unknown waters with strangers:

Just don't do it. It may seem like a great idea. All fun and sexy and adventurous. It even sounds awesome as I write this, but then shit gets real. You have to come back to reality where you have to learn to survive. (i.e. feeding yourself, getting suitable water, etc. etc.) Then your significant other turns on you and next thing you know you're running for your life and tying a raft together to escape. And that's not even the worst of it. Sharks, people. Sharks.

Don't sass a guy with a gun:

This should be self explanatory. You don't sass a guy with a gun. You don't think that you can take someone with a gun, even if you have one and you're a good shot too. You know where situations like that get you in life? Shot, duh! And no one wants to get shot. Even if you live in the "Old West" (just go with me on this one for dramatic effect) you don't sass a gunslinger. Silly rabbit.

Marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be: 

Yes, I am one of those girls that doesn't feel the need to be married. No, I don't think my life is a giant disaster, because I'm not married at the age of twenty-four. I know plenty of people my age that are married (some with kids) and they are completely miserable. Just because you put on a good front doesn't mean that you're actually happy with your current situation. Sometimes marriage just isn't for everyone and I'm one of those people that had absolutely no desire to be.

Get all the facts before you make a drastic/life altering decision:

We all know the story of Romeo and Juliet. Ok, we get it. But I never really understood the meaning of it until (or after) Leo. He explained it best to me. Those two kids loved each other (oddly after only meeting once and were married within three days...not the best decision) and when they thought that they lost each other didn't want to go on. We've all been there. Well, not exactly there, but you know what I mean. You make life altering decisions before you have all the facts, and then it's too late. Try not to do this.

Some people are born performers, while others (me) are not:

It's true. We can't all be actors, rockstars, and models. Not all of us can be doctors, firemen, and astronauts. Not all of us can be cops, soldiers, or sailors. I We don't necessarily have the talent for such things. Some of us normal folks have to stay grounded and run everything else. The big guy wouldn't be able to function without the little ones. Always a good tip for life.

No one likes an asshole:

No. One. don't be an asshole. It's perfectly ok to be yourself and have your own opinion, but don't try to force them down someone elses throat. Just don't do it. It's uncalled for and it does nothing but push people away. Again- don't be an asshole. Or a douchebag. That is all.

Don't do drugs. Seriously, just don't do them:

No one likes a crackhead. They're twitchy and jerky and seriously annoying. The health/death risks are ridiculous, and it takes a toll on your personal life. No matter the excuse you use or the ones you give, that's exactly what they are- just excuses. There is no reason to start. I'm no saint, I'm not claiming to be, but there are some people that just take things to the extreme. Don't do it. It's so not worth it. 

And those are just some of the things that I've learned from Leo's characters. Not even close to all of them. The man is an amazing/talented entertainer with so much to offer. So many great films, bringing to life so many great characters. How can you look into those gorgeous seafoam eyes and not fall in love? I know that I can't.

So here's to you Leo! Oscar or not, you are a winner in my eyes!! (Like that matters).

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Is it Fat Tuesday or Pancake Day??!

Today we celebrate Mardi Gras. When people think Mardi Gras they think beads, boos, and boobs. Not necessarily in that order. You know I'm right.

However, for those of us that don't live in awesome New Orleans (I'm assuming that it's completely awesome, I don't know for sure because I've never been, but I think it's a safe bet) we celebrate with cake. And beads. And we still have to go to work, because- Hello! No one else is paying the bills people.

 Don't judge. Just because I get cake for breakfast doesn't mean that I'm still not too tired to smile properly.
P.s. Why does my dark brown hair look reddish orange in this picture??

So this morning at work we had cake. And it was delicious, because like I said- it was cake. 'King Cake' if you want to get technical. We all took pictures of it, of each other, and of course Aunt Susi got a picture of me licking the Baby Jesus covered in icing, that I'm sure she'll use for future blackmail purposes. Jokes on you Aunt Susi- that icing was delicious!!

They informed me of the fact that you are supposed to eat cake for Mardi Gras and we call it "Fat Tuesday" last year at work. (It was my first year here). But today thanks to Instagram and Yahoo, I've seen about a million (I'm being overly-dramatic) people calling it Pancake Day, and there are pictures of pancakes everywhere. So my questions are- Is it "Fat Tuesday" or "Pancake Day"? Do we get pancakes or king cakes? Why can't we get drunk at work in honor of this day? Just thought I'd ask. Happy Mardi Gras Day!!