Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Well kids, here we are.... again.

I don't know how in the hell it happened, but somehow another year has come and gone. And here I am, writing another post asking how in the hell it happened. Dejavu, is that you? I play, but in all honesty it's shocking to me. Not so much that 2014 is over and 2015 is looming, but the fact that I'll be 25 in less than two months. And I could go on and on about that (and trust me at some point I will), but I don't want to deal with any of that right now.

Why? Because I'm about to embark on my second in a row four and a half day weekend. Yes, you heard me right. Go ahead and be jealous of my amazing/wonderful boss, who also happens to be a very good looking older gentleman (and my uncle). Keep it in your pants ladies, he's very taken and she watches Farrah Fawcett movies. If you don't what that means, just know, it doesn't turn out pretty if you try to mess with her (or her man).

With all of that being said, you should also know that I'm not going to write about my New Years Eve plans, my resolutions, or do a recap of 2014. Basically because my plans are to stay in, I don't make resolutions, and you were here for 2014, you know what went down. Instead I'm going to briefly (because like I said, four and a half day weekend) say:

Here's to another year, Ladies and Gents. We don't know what's going to come with this new year, but we're going to keep going at it. I hope it's filled with family, fun, laughter and love. I hope that you make some new friends (or that old ones find you). I hope that this year is even better than all of the ones before have been. No matter where you will be or who you will share, I hope that you are your absolute happiest self. And me? Well, as for me, I'll be here being the only way i know how.... absolutely and one hundred percent me.


Happy New Years (and Eve)!! No matter what, DO NOT drink and drive!! They have people to call and be sober for you.

Friday, December 19, 2014

Can we just eat pizza for Christmas?!

You know, for being such a grinch this holiday season, I sure am busy. Today is our annual company Christmas party. And while we don't get to get sauced like back in the good ole days, it's usually a fairly decent time and it seems to make Uncle Roger happy. Therefore if Uncle Roger is happy and decompresses for a minute then the world is a joyful place.

Last Sunday at Aunt Susi's get together: Momma and Aunt Poot looking adorable and mischievous. And Dani and Jayna decorating cookies (with my awesome frosting).

Aunt Susi also had that girls get together at her house this past Sunday and it was fun. We went over early to help her make things and set up. She had me make buttercream frosting in her pretty fancy mixer and not that I'm searching for compliments or anything, but it was delicious. We all decorated cookies, laughed, talked, ate and there was absolutely no fighting/arguing. Which is a rare thing for our family. Obviously it's the guys that do it and not us girls. All of us just wouldn't do something like that. Yeah, that's it.

Last years annual company Christmas party. This is me with Uncle Darrell (he's my homie/dance partner) and my cousin Jeremy.

We also played that 'dirty santa' or 'white elephant' (Which is a dumb name. Just saying.) And some people just don't show any mercy around these parts. And even though Aunt Susi ended up with the pretty scarf (you're not sorry) it's ok, because telling Ashley why she didn't need the scarf was hilarious. Also, Shantel sat in a bunch of blueberries and usually that would stain, but I scrubbed her pants with Aunt Susi's hobo soap and IT ALL CAME OUT. It's magic soap. Dani says it would be hippie soap before it would be hobo soap, but I'm sticking to my guns on this one.

Also, Bubba, Chrissy, Johnathan, Elizabeth, and the three kids are coming up tonight so that we can do "our" Christmas. We thought that we were going to spend Christmas at their house this year (because they invited us to), but come to find out they don't even get the kids back until noon and they go to her parents at one. And while her parents invited us over for Christmas with all of them, we've met them about twice and didn't feel comfortable with that. Hence, Christmas tonight. I think that Momma is a little upset that she won't get to see Greg on Christmas day, but I guess I'll just have to get a little spirit (or at least pretend to) and watch White Christmas and make it good for her. It'll all be good.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

That time I thought a hooker murdered my bestie under a bridge.


I received a message last night from Erica's (Noodle) boyfriend Andy. (I call him Andy because he hates it and I think it's funny, but that's not the point). This message caused panic that quickly turned into hysterical laughter. It went something like this:

Andy: Hey Katie. Have you heard from Erica? I have not been able to get ahold of her for a few days. (She always answers Andy, because she's completely in love with him).

Katie: Not for a few days. I've sent her a couple of messages, but haven't heard anything back from her. I just figured her and Suzi were busy. Do you have any other way to get ahold of her? Hold on.

**Katie immediately sends message to Erica**

Katie: Noodle? Are you ok, darlin'?

Erica: I'm fine. Andy (she doesn't call him Andy, but were going with it) just couldn't get ahold of me. I fell asleep last night and then I have been busy writing since four today (remember how she's my awesome PUBLISHED author friend?) so I didn't hear him call. Sorry he bothered you. How are you babylove? (I call her noodle, she calls me babylove. Both of us remember each others nicknames, but can't for the love of all that is holy remember why they're our nicknames).

Katie: He didn't bother me! He just scared about ten years off of my life! I'm good now that I know my best friend isn't holed up under a bridge, murdered by a hooker!

Erica: Nah, I was just writing. You know me when I'm in the zone. He should know that by now. I warned him I get lost in my stories! And by a hooker?! REALLY?!

Katie: That you do, darlin'! I should've known that's what you were doing. And yes, by a hooker. We both know out of us all, you're the one most likely to get caught up in a hooker/murder ring. Don't hate. Hookers need love too.

Erica: Why in the hell me?

Katie: Remember when we watched the movie- Monster?

Erica: Good point.

**Erica immediately forwards my message to Andy**

Andy: Well, I had tried to call her house phone and her moms phone. Neither answered but like right after I hit send to you she said- Hey. I was like, damn. that would happen.

Katie: Yeah, I sent her a message to and she responded, but it's all good! Anytime you can't get ahold of her or you're worried, just shoot me a message and I'll try to help.

Andy: Really, Katie?! A hooker under a bridge?!

Katie: I was worried! And yes, I went there!! Because I'm not dramatic at all or immediately go to the worst scenario possible!! 

Andy: Wow. 

And then all three of us had a giant/I'm sure inappropriate conversation. Erica and I eventually came to the conclusion that it's a good thing that everyone else can't hear us when we talk, because we have a giant warped sense of humor. Then she told me to stop watching so much Criminal Minds and the I.D. channel. NEVER! Hurry up with that next book, Erica! I'm dying to read it. If I had half of your talent I would love to be a published author too. You know I love to write and ramble, but you my darling friend, have an amazing gift!! I love you and I'm so happy a hooker didn't get the goods under an abandoned bridge. Or any bridge for that matter. Because I would miss you.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

The Christmas season and I are just NOT gee hawin' this year.


I'll admit it. I'm a Grinch. I'm a t-total Grinch this year. Just give me a green suit and a Santa hat while I put some antlers on Tayder and James Earl Jones sings a song about me. That's how (un)Christmas-y I'm feeling about all of this. I've put up the tree, decorated, and bought/wrapped gifts (I still have more to do). All of us girls even got together at Aunt Susi's for a Christmas get together (that I'll write about someday) and still, nope.

I don't know why. I can't stand Christmas music, the thought of having to deal with decorations makes me just want to take a nap, and I haven't even watched White Christmas yet. People, White Christmas is one of my favorite movies of all time. I even watch it in July and it's just not happening. I think I must just be going through a Grinch phase.

Our work Christmas party is this Friday and all I can think is blah. Then Friday evening Greg, Chrissy, Johnathan, Elizabeth and the kids are coming up to our apartment to do our little Christmas and frankly I'm already tired. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother, but once again, Christmas. I haven't even put elf ears, bows, or bells on Tayder. I have yet to wear my Christmas socks. Not even Christmas cookies are appeasing me. I don't know, maybe I'll get in the "Christmas Spirit" in the next couple of three days. At least there's four days off of work next week to look forward to (Thursday-Sunday).

Monday, December 15, 2014

The levels of baking cookies with an eleven year old.

I got the bright idea to let Solae spend the night on Saturday and then she was all- let's do something fun!! Can we bake cookies?!! You're SO awesome. And of course I had consumed about a bottle of wine when she called me and said that I was awesome, so I was all- of course you can spend the night. And we'll bake cookies, and make things, and I'll cook you pasta, because I'm awesome!! I GOT THIS.

Cut to the next morning when I figured out that my Momma had actually already promised her all of this, while volunteering me, with me sober and I immediately regretted my actions. You would think it was the walk of shame with how much I was regretting said actions, but no. No, it was just the promise of having to do all of this. Ugh.

But I'm a good sport, and if nothing else, I'm fairly decent at keeping my promises, so I said- what's done is done and went to buy more wine. Because obviously I make great decisions while drinking. And then we picked her up around eleven that day to run some errands and get home to bake. And apparently make mustache pops and cake pops.

Level one:
You get together everything that you need or could possibly ever need to get things going. Eleven year olds have about the attention span of me a ferret on crack so you can imagine how well this step went. Once everything was gathered I realized that there were alot more things on the counter to make than I had originally agreed to and while no one was looking started hiding them odd places in the kitchen.

Level two:
The baking is going good by this point. You've got a crap ton of energy and are in a good mood. You're mixing and baking at such a fast rate that when the kid asks you if she can eat all of the sugar, you agree, because let's be honest about the fact that you're kind of an alcoholic and have already started drinking the half a bottle of wine in the fridge.

Level three:
You take a small bathroom break and when you walk out you see that the kid is standing in the living room, listening to Taylor Swift, throwing around the dish towel like she's Raphael from the Ninja Turtles. You ask her what she's doing and realize that she's so jacked up on sugar that her eyes are as big as tea saucers. It's also at this point that you decide to crack open your second bottle of wine. I can literally feel your judgement on me right now.

Level four:
By now the kid has come down off of her sugar high and you're stuck finishing the cookies, because she wanted to watch Captain America. Nevermind the fact that you want to watch Captain America, oh no, you're the adult so finish the damn cookies, make pasta, and frost the snowmen cookies, bitch! Also, you may or may not ask your Momma and Aunt if the tiny snowman cookies that she made look like little penises or if you're just slightly tipsy. PS, they looked like little penises and you frosting them white probably wasn't the best idea.

Level five:
By this level you're lucky you even survived. Especially if you hate the holidays, because you're a big, fat, fatty Grinch. Aka me. Now, you've cleaned the kitchen and you're sitting on the floor with your feet on the oven door, drinking the rest of the wine out of the bottle, sending pictures to your friend of your burnt hand, because you just knew that was going to hurt in the morning. And you finally peel yourself off the tile, go take a shower, and go to bed. Only to wake up at four the next morning with a sinus infection.

But guess who's awesome and totally still the favorite?!

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Three girls and a Christmas list.

I told y'all that Momma and Aunt Poot talked me into taking off of work to have lunch and go Christmas shopping, right? Well, they did. And while I love my Momma and Aunt Poot, I'm a very Grinchy person and complained that we should just get everybody a giftcard and go eat, until they both told me to shut up and enjoy myself. Rude.

We went a little bit of everywhere and I came to the conclusion (not the first time) that I don't like people. Seriously. The more time I spend in public with people, the more I like my dog. People are rude. They yell and scream. Push and pull. And then two cops almost ran us over (not complaining, they had good reasons) to chase down a few criminals and kick and taser him. And don't be crying about police brutality, because those guys had guns and were planning something fishy. Uh huh.

In all do seriousness though, we did have a lot of fun and it was nice to get out, have some fun, and talk. The shopping part probably would've went better if my eyes wouldn't have gotten as big as me a kid in a candy store and want everything though. Honestly Katie, you were supposed to be shopping for other people! Tell that to my new boots and awesome new Hugh Hefner robe though.

Also, I tried to get in the spirit and wear something festive. It wasn't fun until I used the comic book app. Haha.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Curiosity got the best of me.


Remember when I was talking about that guy I grew up with? How I had been thinking about him the last couple of weeks and wondering how he was doing? I haven't seen him since the summer after we all graduated. Not the immediate one, but the next one. So, 2009. To be entirely accurate I think the last time that we seen each other was at Skippy's funeral. And as you can probably guess, hugs were exchanged, forehead kisses were given, and tears were shed, but none of us were exactly in the 'catching up' kind of mood.

That might have been the last time that we were all together. Horrible circumstances have that way about them. They bring people together only to make them have regrets. Then everyone kind of just drifts apart. No one's fault really. It's just one of those things that happen. We grow up and follow our own paths. Next thing you know, everyone is scattered into the four winds and you're left wondering- What happened?

Well, last night, curiosity got the best of me. I sent this particular old friend of mine a message {via FB, because I knew of no other way to get a hold of him}. And to my surprise he wrote me back fairly quickly. We talked for a bit, not quite as comfortable as we had once been with each other, but what is there to expect after five years? It was nice to just talk for a little while. I ended up giving him my phone number, not for any romantic reasons, but simply because, even though there are far more people out there that I'm sure he would rather talk to, I wanted him to know that he had the option.

We may never talk again, but sometimes.....sometimes it's nice to just have the option. 

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Why do kids put a 'W' on everything?

Winter is coming, Jon Snow.....
Y'all it's cold as shit outside. And I'm not usually one to complain....about weather. But after the events of last winter you might say that I'm a bit paranoid of the one to come. Although, now we have our own place and I don't have to share my blankets with anyone but Tayder. Still though, winter is coming. And I know this, because it's like 10 degrees outside. And I know that it's a lot colder out many other places, but I'm not there, I'm here, so I'll complain from here.

Full discretion: I totally Picasa(d) my double chin out of this picture before I uploaded it to my blog, but you would know that if you followed me on Instagram. What? You can do that these days. Duh.

They're already playing Christmas music on the radio and even though it's December and I've had my tree up for a few weeks, it still annoys me. I guess I'm just not a very "holly jolly" person. I never have been really. Although, it will be nice for momma and I to get to spend Christmas with Bubba and Johnathan. Maybe. Really it could go either way, we'll have to see. What? You know families turn the cray-cray up a notch or two during the holiday season. And John's wife hates me. I don't even know why. I haven't ever done anything to her. I mean, I don't like her either, but I'm adorable, so how can she not like me? Rude.

Maybe I'm just in rare form, because I will be joining Dante's fifth circle of hell tomorrow evening. Why do I say this, you ask? Well, since you asked, I'll tell you. tomorrow evening, after work, I'm going with Momma and Aunt Poot to Peyton's birthday party. Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking- "Katie. A child's fourth birthday party isn't that bad. Suck it up and just go." Usually I would agree with you, because I'm always the first one to admit that I can be a little overly dramatic when it comes to children. Usually. But in this case my dramatization is perfectly rationalized by the fact that it's 6:30 on a Wednesday evening (work day/night). And it's cold out. And I don't wanna. And it's at Chuck E. Cheese's. I detest Chuck E. Cheese. I didn't even like it as a child. Why in the hell do I want to go as an adult? Ehe answer is I absolutely don't. But when your sort of friend has a three year old little boy that's as cute as a little button look at you and ask- "Bwut Katie, pweas is you cwomin two me birfday partweeee?!" You kind of have to go. That or be the biggest douche on the planet. Asshole would be a name I would carry fine, but I can't be considered a douche. Then I just hear that song- Summer Breeze over and over. so, if you need me tomorrow evening, I will be hanging with Dante. I think I feel a cough coming on.

Finally, I've been having dreams about a dude I grew up with/was friends with/graduated with the last couple of days. How you doin? {in my best Joey Tribiani voice}. Seriously though, I haven't seen him since the summer after we graduated. Except on social media. By the way, looking good!! Always have been though. What?! I'm just saying. I can't help it that he's a cutie. Anyways, we were always friends, but I'm not sure why he keeps making cameos in my dreams. I mean, "Dayummm Gina!!" I should probably check on him and see if he's ok. And still sounds sexy the same.

Also, I think that I'm going to have to give in and watch Game of Thrones. A) Because it seems awesome, B) Because it has Jason Momoa and Kit Harrington, and C) Because I can watch it free on my tv. That's probably the biggest reason. Just saying.