Wednesday, January 31, 2024

Yeah, why are bodies a trend and 40 hour work weeks the norm?

I got sucked into a Buzzfeed article the other day that was all about the standards that society has set for us. And follows that up with... but why though? And in all honestly, I have to agree with the majority of these. In fact, I bitch about most some on the regular. Not just through this crazy little space I call my ramble-verse, but also to my husband, my pups, my boss/cousin/friend, basically anyone who will listen to my sarcastic ass.

Who made up all the rules and decided which was the correct way of living? Society as a whole? 

You mean the same society that quite literally fist fought over f*cking toilet paper? Yeah, we all remember the pandemic like it was yesterday. People were deciding if they were gonna use coffee filters or just hop in the shower and spray their asses off after each incident. All because SOCIETY decided to hoard copious amounts of toilet paper. It's not even like diarrhea was a symptom of Covid, so I still don't know what the f*ck that was all about.

BUT I WE REMEMBER.

With that being said, I thought I would follow up on a couple of them (from said article)... not all because your girl has limited attention span to mess around with these days.

"The expectation that you should automatically know things that weren't taught to you growing up. Taxes, laws, basic medical care, and even from what cleaning chemicals you can mix to how long food lasts in the fridge."

I couldn't agree with... most of... this more. I feel like some things we should be taught and others we can figure out as we go. Do I need somebody to tell me when it's no longer acceptable to eat the leftover spaghetti in my fridge? I mean, they could but I could also probably trial and error that shit throughout my life. Cleaning products not to mix? Bro, I can read and I don't feel the need to put a warning label on everything. Sometimes I feel like maybe use some common f*cking sense. BUT TAXES? Dude, all you have to do as an adult is deal with taxes and they just let your ass out into the world with no idea what the f*ck is happening and throw you in jail if you avoid it or do it wrong. I'm almost thirty-four and I still wish somebody would explain taxes and medical care to me. And I've been dealing with this shit a long time. If I'm being honest, I've been winging it this whole ass time.

"Healthcare being tied to employment. I don't want to be trapped in a job I hate just so I can get my prescriptions. I have enough savings and low cost of living, so I could totally do a part-time job but no... 40 hours for insurance."

I don't think healthcare should have anything to do with employment. I will never understand how the capabilities and potential are there and they are not available to every single human unless they somehow contribute to what society deems worthy. F*cking excuse me? Lord forbid you take a look at Denmark and see what they're doing. No. Because that would mean "giving something to someone who hasn't worked for it" and that just isn't something we do as a society, right? Wouldn't want someone to get something for nothing. Because unless you work your fingers to the bone you're not worthy of it. Right? F*ck off.

"The expectation of being constantly employed. If you're not producing something then you're worthless."

I was very much raised with the mindset that if you didn't work every single day, including on weekends, then you were considered lazy. The kind of work didn't matter, you just had to be working. Then again, if you had what people deemed an "easy job" then you were lazy too. Didn't matter how much you worked or how much of yourself you gave, it was just never enough and people would call you lazy for it. It took me a long time to realize that was an extremely toxic way to live. I've made many changes to myself over the last few years and one of those changes was I opened my mind to rethink things that had been ingrained into me since birth. With that came the "work ethic" point. I no longer fault someone who doesn't want to work round the clock, forty hours a week. I want people to be happy and to be fulfilled. Yes, we have to work to survive and not everyone was born to be a rockstar or doctor. Sometimes, we just want to live our normal lives and spend as much time with the people we care about as we can. That's extremely hard to do when you're chained to a desk or working yourself so long and so hard that you immediately collapse given the first opportunity.

"The quest for youthfulness. Growing older is a privilege, and I don't understand that hate on wrinkles, grey hair, etc. There used to be a saying, "grow old gracefully" which implies accepting the changes and making the most out of it."

Look, if you want to dye your hair or wear makeup or something, go for it. If you want to take care of yourself and have a skin care routine, go for it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking care of yourself or making yourself feel or look good. As long as it's for you. But how about, we leave everybody the f*ck alone about it? I don't care if you're twenty and look thirty. I don't care if you have grey hair. I don't care if you're thin or heavy or purple or have wrinkles or wear pajama pants in public. I DON'T CARE. Are you happy? Because that's what should matter. I do not care what someone looks like. Why are we judging people solely based on that? What the f*ck is wrong with you? Are they a good person? Do they treat others with respect and kindness? Are they minding their own f*cking business? Yes? Take a note and do the same.

"The false idea that men cannot be abused, or men cannot feel emotion. Men are supposed to slap on some bootstraps or, however, its called and "take it like a man." It's disgusting."

This is the dumbest shit I've ever heard and I've heard it my entire life. Men are supposed to have absolutely no feelings and women are insane for acknowledging theirs. It's a vicious no win cycle. I love that my husband shows me his emotions. There are no secrets or kept things between us. I'm 100% me and he's 100% him and that's one of my very favorite things about our relationship. I don't want to have a warm piece of stone walking around the house nodding along. I married a whole ass human with feelings and emotions and secrets and strengths and weaknesses. All of which he's entitled to have and be because again, he's f*cking human. He, and any other person. You should be allowed to feel your own feelings and not have to hide the fact that you have basic human capabilities.

"Beauty standards (for all genders). Human bodies should not be treated or seen as a trend, in my opinion."

See my quest for youthfulness. Again, I don't care how you want to look or what you want to wear. The chances of me paying attention to you instead of in my own little world or having a self-induced anxiety attack are pretty f*cking rare. You wear or dye or feel whichever way you want and if somebody has a problem with that, f*ck em. They're probably miserable little shits that get off on judging other people on the regular. You know what you should do with the people in your life that do that to you and make you feel that way? Cancel them from your life. You no longer have to pick up that phone or read that text. You don't have to stand there and listen to them. In all areas, you can simply walk away. From the situation, the person, the bullshit.

"The 40-hour work week."

This all goes back to my mindset growing up. The amount of shit I have received over my lifetime on this could fill a bucket. I've held a full-time job since I was fourteen years old. Before that, we worked every summer in tobacco and I had responsibilities on not just our land, but on the land of our neighbor because our family did work for him and his. What I'm saying is, work is not something new to me. I've never minded working and don't really know what I would do with myself without a job (although I bet with enough f*ck you money at my disposal I could figure it out). HOWEVER, I do not hold it against someone for not having that mindset. I don't care if you don't feel the need to hold a "40 hour" job or if you do odd and end jobs to make ends meet. I simply don't care. I want you to do what you need to do to get you to the next day and I want to do what I have to do to get to the next day and maybe we can meet somewhere in the middle and have a cup of tea or something. Because f*ck, life is hard and there's no reason to make it harder by being a dick to somebody because they don't meet your standards. Why do you even have those standards? My guess would be because society has influenced you to.

And when that happens, I want you to remember the toilet paper-laden fist fights of 2020.

"The stigmatization of mental health: Nothing says 'progressive society' like still treating mental health issues as taboo or a sign of weakness. It's almost impressive how persistent this standard is, considering the leaps and bounds made in understanding the human brain."

I'm gonna be real honest with this one... I struggle with my mental health daily. And I am certainly not the only one. It's easy to get lost in your head and let your mind take over. It literally is an every single day process to deal with. With that being said, I should also throw it out there I have a dark sense of humor. Do I crack jokes about something another person is going through? Absolutely not. But, do I crack jokes and make sarcastic quips at my own expense? F*ck yes, I do. Because that's what gets me through and I won't apologize for it. We all deal with our lives any which way we can. And I will never understand why someone would feel the need to shit on somebody that is just trying to live their life the best way they know how or can.

We need to do better as people in general. Humans as a whole. And society? Well, society as a whole can suck a bag of dicks because we've decided we're not listening to those f*cking losers anymore.

Monday, January 29, 2024

Five years.

This day seems to sneak up on me even though I always know it's coming. Honestly, it never fails. I always know when January is looming and know when it's headed towards its end and yet, somehow and someway, it still feels... surprising.

I reflected on where I am in life this past September (Momma's birthday), and I'd say I'm still there. Somewhere between acceptance and moving forward, while still having my moments of crushing guilt, despair, and confusion.

Today feels like every other day and like none of the other days at all. A not so friendly reminder that things are different and life has been altered. A day designed to disrupt my brain chemistry and throw my feelings into turmoil.

But then, I think of all the happy and the good and I try to counteract all the bad juju with the good memories and feelings of love. All the hope and love and life lessons that we're gifted to me throughout my life.

Is it foolproof? No. But does it help? Sometimes.

Because at the end of the day, we're all just human and trying our best. And sometimes all we need is a little grace, even if that grace needs to come from ourselves.

Sunday, January 28, 2024

Congratulations to a set of our very favorite people on the planet!! 😍

Today, my MIL got engaged to her best friend. (And being the champ he is, had Cait facetime so we could be apart of it too!)

And to say Dev and I are happy for her, would be an understatement. Her and her Guy have known each other for fifteen years and in that time, have grown a beautiful friendship. One with love, understanding, compassion, empathy, trust, and acceptance.

When we lost my FIL, none of us were sure what would happen next. No one ever prepares you for the devastating part of life, even if we know it could always be around the corner. Because there really is no way to prepare, either way, devastation comes in many forms and can blindside you. So when that happened, we were all scared and unsure. Her life as she knew it, was gone.

She lost her partner and he lost his best friend.

But, throughout that horrible and wounding time, they were able to hold onto those around them and make it through. None more so than each other. And I find that beautiful. I find that with the cataclysmic alteration of her life, she was able to pick up the pieces and power through and found her way to a peaceful life. And he was there every step of the way to hold her hand and have her back.

And to me, that's beautiful. So beautiful it almost reduces me to tears, because she deserves all the love and understanding and amazing things life could offer. All of it. She's good and fun and loving. Always putting herself out there for others and ensuring that the people she cares about are taken care of. 

We want her to be happy. Her entire family wants nothing but beautiful and special and amazing things for her. And anybody who doesn't? Well, they can kiss all of our combined asses because f*ck that. She deserves all the goodness life has to offer.

We're happy and excited for them and quite frankly, I cannot wait to see my beautiful MIL walk down the aisle to a man who has stars in his eyes when he looks her way.

Congratulations, Trish and Guy! We love and miss y'all so much! And we're SO excited for you! 

Saturday, January 27, 2024

🎉 The most Garfieldian birthday boy in all the land. 🎉

Happy 6th Birthday to our pitiful little pitty, who just wants to take naps, get butt scratches, and eat snacks. More Garfield than anything, and the sweetest snuggle pup around. We love you, bubbs.

Tuesday, January 23, 2024

This old gal is aging out of the tomfuckery.

I recently read an article about women in their thirties. Ok, that's a bit of a broad statement... I read an article about how women in their thirties "age out of the male gaze." Seriously, you ever get sucked into a Yahoo "news" article? Happens to me on the regular and I'm not even sorry about it because why the hell not?

This article went on to explain that by age thirty-three women start becoming less attractive to men physically and men felt the need to approach those women less in everyday life. It said that whether men do this purposefully or subconsciously, it happens. Mostly, it applies to strangers, as you tend not to notice the aging of a person in your day to day life.

Meaning, my husband will still find me attractive but no one else will feel the need to talk to me.

And can I just say, I have NEVER been more excited to be turning thirty-four in a few weeks in my entire f*cking life? SERIOUSLY?! People are going to feel the need to talk to me less? YES.

I mean, it's not like dudes are walking up to me on the regular to hit on me (it takes alot of effort to look this mediocre on the daily), that's not what I mean. I don't think I'm so damn pretty people are in awe and I think men are lining up to harass me. THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M SAYING.

However, I did think of about fifty jokes to go along with it and if I'm being completely honest, shit is funny. I mean, where do people get off on this kind of study? Who is lining the f*cking halls wanting to know the judgment of society? Did someone just walk into work one day and get assigned a project and the first thought they had was, "huh, let's see if I can break self esteem and give people some information that cannot possibly be accurate?"

Because I don't for one second believe this is accurate... otherwise there wouldn't be men that prefer older women? Has no one heard of a cougar? I think this is another one of those made up things to get women to raise their levels of paranoia and spend copious amounts of money to try and age like f*cking Benjamin Button.

We age. It happens. Move along now.

Keep the people who love you for you close and all the naysayers can go naysay on the f*cking hill across the pasture. And if anybody needs me, I'll be living my sweet-sweet almost thirty-four, aging out of the small talk, snuggling with hubbs and pups life. And let me just say, it is a good f*cking life.

Wednesday, January 17, 2024

My hubby has a much younger wife... for the next three to four weeks. 🎉

On this day, thirty-four years ago, my amazing mother-in-law brought a bouncing baby boy into this world... and here we are all these years later... with me reaping the benefits.

There are not enough words to encompass all the things I wish I could say or to let people know how I feel when it comes to my hubby.

He's kind, caring, loving, hilarious, sweet, strong, dependable, loyal, trustworthy. All those words? And NONE of them even come close to touching the man. He's everything I never even knew I needed and more than I'll ever deserve.

The most amazing husband to me, the best son to his parents, the most reliable brother to his siblings, and hands down, the most fantastic pup dad around these parts.

Here's to you, my love.

I love you so deep in my bones, I don’t know how my muscles hold up. You make everything in life better and beautiful.

Happy Birthday, to the pitter to my patter.

Tuesday, January 16, 2024

🎉 Our little lion hunter baby is seven today!! 🎉

Happy 7th Birthday to the pup who gets up with me, without fail, every single morning bright and early just to follow me around and maybe get some morning snuggles. We love you, XurXur.



Monday, January 15, 2024

Helloooo.... from the FROZEN SSIIIDDDEEEE!!

I know that reference is somewhere between nine-eleven years dated... HOWEVER, if there was ever a time for it to make a come back, IT'S NOW.

Y'all, it is so motherf*cking frigid outside. FRIGID. Capital F through D. It was a total of -2° outside when I left for work this morning and let's be honest, it has not improved much in the hours since. Frankly, it's gonna start dropping here again in just a couple hours. Just thinking about it makes me want to wrap a heated blanket around me. In fact, I have a low tire and decided at 6:30 this morning that it was afternoon Katie and Dev's problem because f*ck.

I DIGRESS. 

I have been blissfully holed up in my house with my hubby and pups on every available opportunity of this new year. Do I regret the things missed? NO. Because nothing was missed... things have been accomplished and no shit has been taken. It's been a good time.

What's new these last few weeks? 

Per every paranoia the hubby and I possess, we did in fact stay inside the first day of the new year. In fact, we stayed inside that entire three-day weekend as much as possible because last year started off with a shit show and carried on throughout the entire damn thing... we weren't trying to have a repeat.

We had another visit with Baby J and he is the cutest and snuggliest little baby this side of the Midwest. Sometimes a person just needs some baby snuggles... and then to hand said baby back to their parents because they gots to get home and eat snacks.

Sparkles ear is looking better. It's still not 100% but it's looking better by the day, if only a little, and it seems to bother him a little less. Poor baby just wants to nap and eat treats and honestly... same. He and Xur mostly hang out with us and I seriously don't know what we'd do without those little assholes.

After three years of marriage, Dev and I are finally on the same phone plan. Here's what happened... when he moved up here (five years ago) he switched to Sprint (later bought by T-Mobile). I was already on my Aunt P's friends/family phone plan (with Momma) with Sprint (again, bought by T-Mobile). We've been meaning to get my number switched from my aunt's plan to Dev's for a long time but haven't got around to it (for various reasons). We finally decided we were doing it regardless because damn we've been married for a minute and it felt weird.

Last week after work one day, we loaded up in Doug Judy, picked my aunt up and headed to T-Mobile. We only wanted to have my number switched from one T-Mobile plan to another. The clerk informed us that they can no longer do that in store, you have to call "customer care." While we were there, Dev asked if he could have a couple things removed from his plan... again... call customer care because they can't do that in store.

*side note* I'm really not trying to be "that" person I am just genuinely curious. If they can't change or update or service anything having to do with your plan in store... what is the purpose of having a store? I mean, you can order a phone online and have it delivered so it can't just be that, right? *anyways*

We left and took Aunt Poot home... attempting to call "customer care" on the way and got nothing. Cut to three hours, two trips, and a bunch of dollars later and now Dev and I are on the same phone plan... with Verizon. We got to keep our numbers and honestly, that's what I was so butt hurt over because it would be such a pain in the ass to switch everything over. 

JUST NO.

Dev and I got the bright idea to try new spaghetti sauces out at the store to "find a new favorite" and ended up getting one called "spicy arrabbiata" that almost f*cking killed us. That shit was so damn hot. All I tasted was tomato and heat. No spice of any kind just HEAT. We couldn't even choke down a full plate apiece so leftovers were totally out of the question. I couldn't imagine eating that shit after it set and got hotter.

We attempted to help Bonehead move a bit. We went over to his house for about three hours or so to help out but he had a whole lot going on so we did what we could and headed out. He did send us off with a shelf that's been handed down for years and now houses our dishes so fun!

Work has been crazy and going a mile a minute but that's all the time so nothing new there.

Other than that, we've mostly been staying home and snuggling in. I have gotten quite a few new tattoos as of late. I had a right rib piece put on a week ago yesterday and said screw it and had my left rib piece put on last night. Because I'm apparently a glutton for punishment or a masochist or something.

My big plans for tonight are for me and Dev to run to the grocery store (getting stuff for spaghetti-redo night) and then I'm taking a super hot shower and snuggling in. Because this gal is sleepy and frozen and not having it. Except hubby and pup lovin. 

I'll have that. Happy (hopefully, let's keep our fingers crossed and put hopefulness out for the best) 2024!