A weekend of motorcycle rides, cuddles, and furbabies.

If more weekends could be like this past one, I think we would all be good to go. Go where... I don't know. But go.

The weather was beautiful, we actually had plans that went through, and I got to spend the whole thing with the hubby and my babies. When I say it was a good day, you may as well crank up Ice Cube.

It started off Friday with a movie night. Have y'all seen Cocaine Bear yet? If not, you're definitely missing out, because that shit is hilarious. Seriously, I laughed so hard at one point I almost peed down my leg. Even if I wouldn't have wanted to see it, you could of told me O'Shea Jackson Jr. was in it and I would've been SOLD. 

And good ole Ray Liotta... ah man. No one can play a bad guy like Ray Liotta. I'm gonna miss that guy. He was my very favorite crass actor. The dude could literally play a piece of shit human being (which he did often) and I would be like.... yeah.... but I mean... it's Ray Liotta.

Saturday we got up super early and I got ready while Dev made breakfast. Trav and Mace showed up, we got everything situated, I loaded up our babies and we made the 1.5 hour trip out to their house. Once we got there we got pork in the smoker and settled in the pups and then the four of us went on a nice little ride.

It was peaceful and beautiful and honestly, I feel like if we had more relaxing days like that, everybody's anxiety would be down and happiness would increase. 

After the ride, their parents showed up at the house, we made a trip to the meat market, and we all proceeded to cook, eat, talk, and hang out until ten at night. Then we loaded up and headed to the house.

Sunday was spent resting and not doing anything at all, because my old ass was dragging and there was nothing but rain and gloom out. Go figure, we had one beautiful day and now it's back to shiver-ass cold. That's ok though, because that just means I get more cuddles, comfort food, and movie nights. 

And honestly, that's this girls dream.

Sometimes you do the things because literally no-one can stop you.

This past weekend was a good one. Dev and I loaded the pups up on Saturday and we went to hang out with Travis and Macey for a bit. While it is a long drive (1.5 hours one way), we usually have a good time and make the most of our little "road trip." Besides, our pups enjoy getting to go with us and since they're THE GOODEST BOYS on the planet, they reign supreme.

They also tried to talk me into letting Macey pierce my lip and that was a firm f*ck on somewhere from me. 

Then Dev and I talked about it and I told him I actually would like to try something like that, because it would be a drastic change without having to touch my hair (hair is always the first thing a woman changes when she's going through a phase, because that shit is the most dramatic and accessible... at least that's what I'm going with). 

I always said I wouldn't get a face piercing, because I had my nose done when I was nineteen, kept the ring in for two-three days and took it out because I hated it. 

I believe the words I used were, "I tried it and discovered I don't like having a f*cking bolt in my face." 

BUT I've learned in the last year or so that many things I've thought or felt my entire life are actually completely different and so, I've been experimenting with changes and different ways of doing things to see if it helps.

Don't let anybody tell you otherwise... mental health is important and you matter. Take care of yourself.

With these changes, I've been... I know this sounds a little hippish or something... trying to find who I am. I feel like I know who I am, but somehow I'm still discovering things about myself. I'm certainly not the person I thought I was and my mindset changes frequently. It's like a whole new world and I can just be 100% me.

Luckily, I also have a husband that not only adores the shit out of me, but encourages me in all things that could produce happiness. When I said I married my hype man, I wasn't joking. We talk to each other about absolutely everything (I don't care what anybody says, your spouse being your best friend is f*cking fantastic) and usually when I want to do/try/say/wear something different but have my reservations, he's always the one to remind me that I'm grown and I can be/say/do/have whatever it is I want. He's always going on about, "you're your own person and the most amazing one I know... you do whatever it is you want, sweetheart, and I got your back. 100%" He's the f*cking best.

What did I fantasize about my husband being like? Think Gomez Addams. 

So yes, when I mentioned I would like to try it but had doubts, he was all, you want one? We'll do it RIGHT. NOW.

Cut to fifteen minutes later and we were walking into a shop not too far from our house.

Thankfully, we didn't let his cousin do it. I decided that I'm a grown woman with a full time job... I'll pay a professional to stab me in the face. Thank you very much.

And here we are. A few days in and another hole in my face/body. It doesn't really hurt at all... it is however tender and irritating as shit. Not the ring itself, but the backing rubbing all up on my skin. I cannot wait to change this bitch to some form of hoop once it's healed a bit.

I'm not sure if I love it or hate it. I love how different I look (even if other people don't think so, I think so) but I hate how irritated my skin feels right now. Mostly, I'm just trying not to be a big ass whiny baby and suck it up and let this thing heal up. I think I'm really going to be into it though. You know, at the end of the line and such. TBD. *insert dramatic eye roll here*

Dev even put his former lip piercing back in. He had his done in his early twenties but hasn't worn it in years. Now? We fancy. 

I also feel like it's worth mentioning we got a bonsai tree as well. His name is Seth Green.

I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22. ❤️❤️🎉 *insert emotions*

Twenty-two years ago today, this little guy was born and I have to say, getting to be his mama has been one of the very happiest things of my entire life. From his grumbly kisses to his meerkat habits, he’s truly a gift from something greater than myself. Happy Birthday, to my little baby and eternal soft spot, Tayderbug!

He apologized to all the nurses for having to see his junk. *because surgery*

Things have been calm and crazy lately. I know, that sounds insane and you would be correct to assume I'm rambling from multiple cups of caffeine (aka, liquid coffee gold). That doesn't change the facts however.

Things have been crazy... 

Dev finally had his surgery 3/17, but things didn't go how we would have liked. He went through the entire procedure, but they were unable to get his heart to misfire while he was under, so he basically has full recovery with no benefits. It was a kick to the gut when the doc told us it wasn't a success, but he's also not giving up and we're just going to have to look into other alternatives. 

He goes back for his follow-up on 4/10 and we'll decide where to go from there. They now think instead of SVT, he may have a cluster of cells in his heart misfiring together and they have to locate them and will try to do surgery again once they've been found. In order to do that, he's either going to have to wear a holster or have an implant put under his skin (located in the chest... kind of like a birth control implant, but not). Either one will record when his heart acts up, but I think we're leaning towards the implant as it has more effective results. 

While he's sore and stressed from the surgery not going how we would have liked, he's also optimistic and ready to take the next step to get a handle on this thing. I will say though, even though the surgery didn't work, doc said they pressed his heart damn hard and it's a strong one. It was a real nice thing to hear and definitely lifted some weight from our chests. I should have known, my baby is all heart.

Things have been calm...

With everything's that's been going on in the last four months, things have been hectic. However, Dev and I have been spending exorbitant amounts of time together and to say we both love it would be an understatement. While we love spending time together doing all kinds of things, the fact that he's been having "spells" and is now in recovery means that we've mostly been house bound in our adventures. The weather also hasn't helped with that.

A few weeks ago we loaded the pups up and made the 1.5 hour drive to Travis's to hang out for the day, but other than that, it's all been local and homey. I love getting to see him all the time and spending the evenings cuddling and talking and hanging out with each other. Most people might find that "too much" or their significant other would get under their skin, but I'd say we lucked out. We can literally spend all of our hours together and it's just like hanging out with my best friend. He truly is the gift of mine that keeps on giving.

Dev's mom even flew up for his surgery and spent the weekend with us. He picked her up from the airport on Thursday and then they both picked me up from work! She stayed through the weekend and then Sunday morning we took her back to the airport (SUPER EARLY) to catch her flight home. While we all wish it would have been better circumstances, the fact we got to see his mom and spend some time with her talking and catching up and checking in, it was so nice. She's an amazing lady and we love her to pieces.

Things have been crazy...

Dev's Pre-Op appointment was the Tuesday before his surgery. I took the day off so I could go with him and set an alarm so we could have a nice relaxing morning and then head off to the doc. Well, my alarm didn't go off and I woke up exactly four minutes before his appointment. I screamed "FUCK!" and leapt out of bed like my ass was on fire. I called the doctors office to tell them we were running late... and then I had the audacity to be aggravated at the woman on the phone because I called the wrong place. (I wasn't an asshole or anything, but I was like well shit, oops and hung up... not my finest moment). I finally got the right office... all while running around trying to put clothes on... and they informed me if we didn't get there in the next fifteen minutes we would have to reschedule, which also meant pushing the surgery. We live at least twenty minutes from his doctors office. Again, cue the fuck. 

We ended up making it to the doc office in time. I'm not going to tell you how we got there in like twelve minutes, but my husband likes to say he woke up, saw how pissed and anxiety riddled I was and decided "nope, not today, not having this argument today" and followed me and sat there until we were in the office. We laugh hysterically about it now, but at the time, not so much.

So yeah, that's where we are. Still nowhere near a conclusion, but at least on the right track to get him taken care of. We're optimistic and just keep reminding ourselves that we're strong and have each other. We'll figure things out, it's just going to take longer than what we were hoping. Until then, we'll keep doing what we're doing and spend all the time together.

I'm a genius for marrying my best friend. And if you don't believe me, refer to the picture. I look like this 98% of the time and the man treats me with nothing but adoration, affection, and understanding. Not to mention he looks at me like I hung the moon and acts as though his entire life begins when my sunshiney face rises in the mornings.

And that, my friends, is the ultimate goal. Happiness. And he is my happy.

Senor Fancypants and his little gremlin hit the town... looking extra and shit.

We went to my company's gala event this year... ok, it's not my company's event, but it's an event my company sponsors and attends? 

Following so far? Cool.

The point is, this was the first year Dev and I were invited and to say we were a bit out of our element would be an understatement. I mean, if you need to know the levels of the class where we reside versus what was all around us let me reiterate a little something that happened that should explain it all.

Me: *picks up tiny little round ball of whatever is on a little plate on our table, twirls it around and inspects it* "Dani... what's this?"

Dani: "That's butter, Katie!"

See, even their butter was so fancy it threw me off. 

We had a nice time though. Definitely different and nothing we're used to, but nice all the same. We agreed that getting all dressed up and going out somewhere to feel fancy was fun and we should definitely do it more often... even if it's not a charity and/or work event. 

Can't you just see us all decked out in all our extraness pulling up to the KFC? Pfsh, I can. 

Well, that is if D and I could eat fast food without our stomachs revolting. Eh, tomato, potato.

We spent a few hours with the crew and then we all decided to head out early. I think we all left between 8:00-8:30? It wasn't that we weren't having a nice time, we were all just tired and had other plans.

Kind of... D and I didn't really have any other plans except to hang out with our pups in pjs, catch a buzz, and cuddle where the warmth and cookies didn't end. Probably how I got started watching Hawaii Five-0 from the beginning all over again. I'm not even sorry about it, because now D gets to join in on the fun. He's seen episodes here and there with me, but never from the start.

I even tried to be a fancy adult and have a cocktail... vodka and cranberry, because isn't that the ultimate safety drink? Yeah, well, not for me it isn't apparently. I took like two-three sips of that thing and couldn't do it. Truly, I mean I physically couldn't choke it down and my stomach was like nah bro. I swear, the Katie from two years ago wouldn't even recognize lightweight me. D enjoyed his two cocktails and said he wouldn't be doing that again once we got home. The more you know.

So yeah, we got all fancy looking and froze our patooties off for an evening, but all in all it was different and we had a good time. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some cuddles to attend to.

Let's play a little catchup and see what happens.

I'm having a real hard time with my attention span lately. Sure, I buckle down and manage it while at work, but once that clock dings, I'm out. Quite literally... mentally and physically, I'm in Lalaland.

But, that's ok. Because while I may be a bit of an airhead on the regular, D and I have been in a blissful little bubble. Sure, there are things looming in the background and we're on edge more often than not, but we've been trying to take it easy and be serene.

Personally, my goal for life has always broken down into four things I wanted: calm, happy, peaceful, stable. That's it, all I ever wanted for my life. Most people have big plans and goals and dreams. And maybe it sounds a little sad to most, but I never wanted all of that.

I just wanted a calm and happy life with a little stability. And I wanted to share that life with my best friend. I didn't need bunches of money or a fancy house. I didn't want to be entrapped in drama and I didn't want to have to answer to anyone other than myself.

And that's the life I have. 

We did finally get D's surgery scheduled. His pre-op appointment is on 3/14 and his surgery date is 3/17. We're both happy and nervous to have it finally on the books to be taken care of. We've been keeping his stress down and it seems to be helping quite a bit. His mom wants to fly up and be here for his surgery and I'm sure he would appreciate her being there. Personally, I was just going to sit in the waiting room alone and have a nervous breakdown, but it'll be nice to have company to melt down with.

Ok... probably not melt down. But, it is a nerve inducing situation.

My birthday was this past Monday and D has been spoiling me since last Friday because of it. He said I get a whole week, because I'm special and if I want the whole month or year, I can have that to. He's such an enabler and spoils me rotten. I love it.

Dani also invited us to my company's "gala" event this year. Basically, D and I are going to get all fancy and show up with the other fancy looking people and hang out. It's a formal event, so while D is wearing a suit (one that he looks damn fine in by the way), I have to find an appropriate dress to wear. Just the thought of dress shopping makes me itchy, but this time around D is taking me. He's actually really good at picking out clothes that look good on me and frankly, I could use all the help I can get. Besides, I'm usually in a pair of boxers and an oversized sweatshirt (that belonged to my FIL Dennis), so it'll be nice to let my husband see me all dressed up.

We've also been out on the bike a bit recently. Of course with winter being cold, wet, and all around miserable for most, the rides have been fewer and further between, but we've managed to get a few in here and there. We were gonna ride it when D took me to the Famous Tomato, but we didn't really want to drive on that side of town, so we've been taking random rides with no destination in mind.

Other than that we've mostly just been hanging out at the house with our pups and having chill evenings (and days). And I have to say, I'm into it. Like, this could keep on keeping on and I'd be extremely good with it.

We're on our way to fix it... just give us a couple minutes.

You know my hubby, correct? He's the tall, handsome guy that's always hanging out with me and making me feel like a princess? Well, he's had some health issues recently and we're trying to get a handle on them. 

He was diagnosed as having supraventricular tachycardia (SVT) when he was around twenty-five years old, I think? He's not sure of the exact date, but he remembers that he was in his earlier twenties and it's when he stilled lived in FL. He's managed to live with this since that time with only having "spells" on occasion. He even went the majority of two years without any at all. 

That was until the last three months or so. Since that time his "spells" have gotten worse and they're at the point of being terrifying and debilitating. I mean, constantly feeling like you're about to have a heart attack? That's alot for any person to take on. 

We've taken measures to get this taken care of... went to a primary... twice... and finally got to see a cardiologist on 1/27. Basically, the only option for this is surgery. D kind of knew this going in, because they had told him about the surgery when he was first diagnosed. I asked him why he didn't have it then and he told me that he thought it was something he could learn to live with.

However, the older he gets, the worse they get, and now they're so bad that he honestly just wants to get it taken care of. I guess it's true when they say you realize you're not invincible as you age. 

But dude, when you're twenty and the world starts crashing? You feel like you're ten feet tall and bulletproof. Not so much past thirty. And that's not a bad thing at all, it's just a realistic thing.

Now we wait. Mostly, we're just waiting on the cardiologist office to call me so we can schedule his surgery... I spoke with her the other day and she said she thought it would probably be somewhere in mid-March, but she wasn't 100% sure. 

Until then, we're doing all we can to minimize D's stress. We both agreed that he should take some time off work to relax and destress (a suggestion made by his doctor). Honestly, it's been real nice to have a "house husband" for a little bit. *insert laugh here* He's been doing projects around the house, cleaning, taking care of the pups, running errands. He's basically doing all the things that are stressful when you don't have time to do them, but aren't bad when you don't have a deadline.

It seems to be making a difference. D seems to be able to tell in the fact that he's had less "spells" and the ones he's had he's managed to get himself calmed down and they don't last as long. I can tell it's making a difference, because he just seems to feel better all the way around. Those things take so much strength and energy that when they're over he feels drained. Now if he feels drained he can sit down and relax in our home until he's ok. I know it doesn't seem like it would make all that much difference, but it really has.

So yeah, that's what we're doing. I haven't mentioned it, because it's been scary and we're trying to figure everything out, but that's where we are with it. Waiting until we get my little Gatorbaby into his surgery and until then spending time together, hanging out, doing house projects (he converted our "spare" room into a kind of walk-in closet for me and I'm here for it), playing with our pups, and trying to be as happy as we can possibly be.

Either way, we have each others backs and will take on anything and everything together. Because he's my love, my best friend, and my soulmate, and that's what we do.

If my babies could quit growing up on me, that would be great. 🎉🧡

Our youngest guy turned five today and according to his dad, demanded cake at 7:30 this morning.

Happy Birthday, Sparkles! You may be a big ole mess, but you're my big ole mess and I wouldn't trade your sleepy ass for anything in the world!

I don't think that works how you think that works, sir. *a Netflix ramble*

I'm just going to get it on out there and admit I'm obsessed with the Netflix documentary series... I Am A Killer. I know, I know. I'm one of those people that gets sucked into true crime stories and can't seem to look away from them.

My poor husband is forced (I say forced, but really he loves me and my quirks so eh) to watch hours upon hours of this shit while we lay in bed and I'm on a binger (get it? binger instead of bender! I crack myself up). Luckily for him, it gives him the opportunity to play copious amounts of COD. So really, I'm not sure it's not a win and he says it is so I'm going with it.

We'll (mostly because I) will lay in bed for HOURS upon HOURS with our pups and watch this ridiculousness and just have so many questions.

The point is, I watch this shit all the time. Not only "I Am A Killer" but various other ones too. But I have to say, this one has me hooked. Mostly because I am learning a whole lot of things that I thought I kind of knew, but apparently had absolutely no idea about.

Like, apparently just because you're on death row doesn't mean that you won't get out of prison? Don't get me wrong, I didn't think I had a complete understanding of the death penalty. I don't think I know more about laws than an officer and I'm not on the same level as a lawyer. 

I don't claim to know everything and understand there are some things I have absolutely no clue about and probably never will have a full understanding of.

However, I thought I at least had a basic understanding of the death penalty. I thought once you were sentenced to death row there were only three options for no longer being there:

#1: you pass away while in prison awaiting your execution date

#2: you actually make it to your execution date and they... you know... xxxxx

#3: there's a rare occasion where an appeal comes through and you're re-sentenced

Apparently, those are not the only options and I am an idiot for believing it was. There are so many new laws and loopholes and things that contradict each other that I'm not even sure how law enforcement can keep up with all of it. It's kind of insane.

Speaking of insane, some of these motherf*ckers? BRO. You never really know what's going to happen. You never know if you're going to see reasoning or if this person is just a psychopath with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. 

I'm not going to lie, maybe I'm a fool, but some of these stories are so damn heartbreaking that I feel for everyone involved. And then other ones? I'm like, yeah that dude is a sociopath, definitely keep them contained. Please and thank you.

In all honesty, Netflix documentaries got me on edge and looking over my shoulder 24/7 like there's a cult leader hiding behind my shower curtain or something. Paranoid? YES. Understandable? Also, YES.

Now when you tell people you're thirty-three, it'll be the truth.

I mean… thirty-three years ago (even though you've been telling people you're thirty-three for the last year) today you were brought into this world and I’ve been lucky enough to love you for almost eighteen of them. 

You are the kindest, sweetest, most gentle and amazing human being that I’ve ever met and I’m in awe that I get to do this life with you. Marrying my hype man was definitely a fantastic decision. 

There's not a day that goes by you don't remind me how much you adore me and show me that you love me through it all. You are the pitter to my patter and everything good I have to offer the world is directly tied to you with a pretty little bow.

I never get tired of spending endless amounts of time with you and you truly are my best friend. There's no one on the planet I'm more open, honest, and myself with than you.

Simply put, you're it for me, baby. I'm hopelessly in love with you. I want you to know you can always remember to just say fuck it and move on, because we'll do it together. I've got your back throughout it all and there's nothing going to change that.

This evening is all about lovins, foot rubs, pup snuggles, cuddles, German chocolate cake, and YOU.

Happy Birthday, Gator. I love you more today than yesterday and somehow, even though it seems impossible, I’ll love you more tomorrow... and the day after that... and the day after that.

He may be a tank, but he's my massive little tank.

Happy 6th Birthday to our middle child who gives absolutely zero shits if he steals my pillow and mouth breathes in my face. You may be massive, but you’re still our wittle baby. You give the best cuddles and you're oh so warm. Those cute little faces you make? EPIC. You, your two brothers, and your daddy are my heart. I love you, buddy. You're such a good boy!!

People literally tried to make me throw in the towel on the first day.

Y'all, people didn't even wait until we were a little bit into 2023 before they decided to make me lose all faith in humanity. Like seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people? 

On Sunday, D and I decided to spend the day on his bike. We took a ride out to my aunts house in the morning and by the time we got home, Travis and Mace showed up so we could all ride up to my brothers and hang out together.

We all had a fun day and couldn't wait to get home and spend the last "free" evening before we all had to prepare ourselves to reenter the world of our regular jobs and everyday life. 

We decided to use the GPS on our way, because traffic has been a nightmare with all the construction and holidays, and it took us a route we had never been before. Sure, we've driven that way in our vehicles, but never on the bike. 

About twenty minutes from home, we were driving under a bridge coming up and we had to make a left. There was a man on the left side of the road and when we came up on him it looked like he was waiting for traffic to pass through so he could cross the street. D got into the opposite lane to ensure we wouldn't be close to him and all of the sudden he charged at us full force and tackled us.

I'm not even shitting you, he tackled us while we were driving down the road and sent us into the guardrail/almost the concrete barrier. If that wasn't enough, he proceeded to loop his arm around me and try to yank me off the back. Oh... and he had a knife. You know, in case this wasn't escalating enough to fucking begin with.

Luckily, my fight or flight instinct kicked in and my first reaction was to tighten my legs around Dev as tight as I could and just start punching the dude in the head. I don't know how D managed to keep that bike up and get us away from the man, but he did.

He didn't stop though. He chased after us and then started throwing beer bottles and pieces of concrete cinderblocks at us, Travis, and another dude that just so happened to be passing by on a bike. 

I called the police and of course Dev and Travis made sure that Mace and I were far enough away to be safe and then kept an eye out on our surroundings and where the dude took off to make sure he didn't get away. Once the police showed up I had to tell them what happened (a very short description of events as they were in pursuit immediately) and they caught and arrested the man.

I would be lying if I said this turn of events didn't freak me out a little bit. I feel like I'm usually a pretty strong person and while I have fears, I'm usually pretty good about keeping myself together. However, it's not everyday you get sucker-punched into a motorcycle accident and possibly abducted and/or assaulted. At least, I don't and if this is an everyday occurrence to y'all, please send tips.

I'm jumpy now and more on edge than I'd like to admit. My paranoia has gone up about four notches and honestly... I don't want this to affect me, but I think it is. The whole way home afterwards I couldn't get my legs to stop shaking and when D asked if I was cold I thought it through and said no. I wasn't cold, but I also couldn't stop shaking and I'm smart enough to know that's adrenaline... and possibly shock.

We're all ok. Dev hurt his leg when we went into the railing and we're both extremally sore, but considering the turn of events and how it could've went down, I'd say we're grateful to only be sore. Luckily, Travis, Mace, and the other guy weren't hurt at all. 

And while I am thankful that we're all ok and the man was arrested (thank you, nice policemen that showed up and helped even though I know I was on edge and freaking out some), I honestly just want to know what the fuck is wrong with people.

I mean, what possesses someone to tackle a person they've never met and try to assault them with a weapon for absolutely no reason at all? And I know this happens all the time and we should all be more prepared, because people just keep proving that they're the worst, but... COME ON, DUDE.

Is this really where we're at?

The only people in my family that know are my brother and Dani. The only people in D's family that know are Travis (and Mace) and his dad. We didn't want to tell alot of people, because then all they'll do is worry and freak out and honestly, I feel like my mental health is hanging on by a loose thread, so maybe let's not deal with all that right now.

Dani said she probably wouldn't ever get back on a bike again. I can't say I blame her and I would be lying if I said that thought hadn't crossed my mind at first. But you know what? I enjoy riding with my husband and spending that time together and I'll be damned if I let some asshole with an anger issue and a small dick complex ruin that for us. People aren't going to stop being horrible and doing what they do, so we all have to find a way to keep living our lives all the same.

It's shitty, but it's accurate.

Instead, I have to say I'm thankful for my husband for making me feel safe when that was the last thing I thought I would feel again. For protecting me and loving me. I'm thankful for our cousins that were with us that stood by our side and had our backs. I'm thankful for the stranger who stopped to help even though it put himself in danger. And I'm thankful for emergency personnel (from the amazing dispatcher on the phone to the patrolmen that showed up). This was an incredibly shitty moment and feeling, but we're ok. We're together and safe.

And at the end of the day, that's all that really matters.