Home is where paws meet you at the front door... and we got plenty of paws.

My hubby and I are constantly playing a game called our "forever home" in a never-ending cycle of... but what though? Frankly, if you think the never ending cycle of "what's for dinner?" is rough, you should play this one.

I've mentioned before how much I love our house. It's cute and tiny and the perfect size for us and our little furbabies... HOWEVER it's also smack dab in the middle of the city and we're not exactly city people. Don't care how long I've been here (almost twelve years now), I'm apparently just not that kind of adaptable. 

If I could pick up our house and move it in the middle of nowhere, I would never have to worry again. Alas, while they can in fact move whole houses, what bitch has that kind of money laying around? Not this bitch, I'll tell you that.

We bounce back and forth on where we want to live forever... reality says we're in Indy until at least retirement age and then it's anybody's guess. Maybe we'll stay in Indy (just not dead ass city)... maybe we'll head on down to Florida (I always say we will when we come back from vacay because feelings and shit)... maybe we'll go to Michigan for something new (we know absolutely no one there and that sounds nice on most days)... maybe I'll never want to see another living soul other than Dev and my babies and we'll hole up in the side of a Kentucky mountain (seriously... this one sounds good). Honestly, the possibilities are endless.

But realistically, we're in Indy for the next couple decades (bar a catastrophe and honestly, we're all f*cking tired of catastrophes so let's just not). While we're nowhere near starting our forever home (our current home is perfect and there are alot of things to do before we try and move or something like that), it's still fun to spitball and daydream.

We'd like to turn this dream into some follow through over the next few years though (maybe). Because of that, we keep going back and forth between a shed house or an Rv situation. The shed house idea is amazing. We had plans and dreams and an entire game plan. The problem is- do we want to be tied down to Indy forever? If we were to buy a piece of land and put all that work into it... then yes, we would. Not a bad idea, but definitely a decision.

The Rv situation is a new option that just came into play. I clearly knew there were people that lived full time in Rv's/campers/yurts... hell, for a few years of my childhood we lived in a tent so I clearly get it. It's an alternative lifestyle, but one people have been privy to for years. I just don't think I realized HOW popular this seems to have become. My generation doesn't give any fucks what people say and we're doing and living the lives we want. Like... there's an entire community for it?

And by community... have you seen TikTok? Truthfully, I'm addicted to that shit. I follow a little bit of everything but my newest obsession has to be the "Rv life" in my feed. And let me just say... Rv's have come a long way since my tent days. These bitches are NICE. They really got me believing I can live this life with all my stuff I actually want and just be happy with all my babies. Now, I know there are issues with this kind of living situation like all others but really, it doesn't seem any less convenient to me. PLUS I can park at an Rv camp but if I hate the location or people I can just hook up and MOVE? Simple as that? F*ck yes.

I mean... there are a million things we'd have to go over and figure out (like how are we going to learn how to drive and pull this f*cking thing and how does any of this even work in the first place?)... it could truly be a nightmare. In fact, we had one conversation about it and at the end I was like never-fuckin-mind-then. Because that's me as a person. *dramatic*

HOWEVER, I would also be lying if I said this didn't appeal to me on SO many levels. I like the idea of our house being on wheels and we can just go and do but still build an amazing and cozy home to share our lives in. Weirder than some, but not a dealbreaker... right? We don't need a whole lot of space (we're weird as f*ck and actually prefer to be cramped and on top of each other) but I would like enough space to have the things we truly want to have because I've worked really hard for a really long time and not trying to sound conceited, but damn... I think I've earned at least that.

Truth be told, I really don't know what our forever home is going to look like or be. Hell, we very well might stay right where we are and someday be those city people (doubtful but you never know). Either way, as long as we're happy and healthy and together the rest can be handled another day... right? Right.

It is fun to dream though, ain't it?

Call us DINK or call us selfish narcissists... but what you aren't going to call us... is to a f*cking parent-teacher conference.

Dev and I are what people consider "DINK." As in, "Double Income No Kids." Not only did I not know there was an acronym for it for the longest time... I didn't even know that many people were on the same wavelength as us.

Dev and I don't have kids. Nor are we planning on having kids. In fact, we actually have many reasons for not having kids that we call "The List." This list ranges from serious reasoning we discussed even before we got married to hilarious little bits we've run across with the parents and children in our lives. 

Your three year old decided to unpotty train herself and flush the family hamster down the commode? PUT IT ON THE LIST.

Everyone seems to have an opinion on this one. Why I have no idea... it's not like we judge people for having children. You want kids? Cool. That's legitimately my reaction when someone brings it up. However, when someone asks me when (NOT IF) I'm having kids and I say we're not... well then.

I understand that people have the expectation of me to reproduce. I get it. It's been drilled into my head since I swear the day they told my mother she was having a girl. You legit come out of the womb expected to someday push another human out of the womb you just brought out. Like damn, a girl needs a minute. So yeah, I understand it's there.

What I don't understand, however, is why it's there. Why? WHY?! Why is it so f*cking important to you that a human come out of my vagina? Why is my vagina that f*cking important to you in general? I'll never understand why anyone cares what another person is or is not doing to and with their own body.

I've talked about this before. In fact, I've rambled on and on about it over the course of my time on this planet and at this point the argument is moot. There should literally not have to be any other reason other than BECAUSE I SAID NO.

Why? Because NO IS A FULL SENTENCE. NO. See? Full sentence. 

People shouldn't expect others to explain how they feel or what they want to do with their own bodies. BRO, it's their body. I don't tell you what to do with yours, don't tell me what to do with mine. At what point during the human condition did it become acceptable to have an opinion on someone else's body? Don't comment on their weight, don't comment on their dress, don't comment on their reproductive system. Just f*cking don't, you entitled piece of shit. Just because it worked for your body and your God believes that's the way it should be does not give you the validation to condemn other people.

My God and your God? Not the same dude. Because I absolutely refuse to believe that whatever is out there in the universe has nothing better to do than to worry about whether or not I'm having children or wearing pants or eating gluten... whatever crazy it is you think is happening. Does your guy literally have nothing better to do than watch your every move to decide if you'll be condemned to an eternity of hell and servitude if you so much as have the nerve to consider not reproducing? Sounds a little Santa Clausy meets the bitterest part of Revelations to me, homie. You that scared of the afterlife you have to shame and indignify your way through the current one?

People are super mad at Seth Rogen and his wife right now, because they too have made the decision to not have children and he's perfectly comfortable listing the reasons why they made that decision. (They have a "put it on the list" too!) 

And all I have to say is... Seth and Lauren (Miller) Rogen are my f*cking heroes. 

Like Dev and me, their list consists of legitimate and serious reasoning... and hilarious tidbits that I feel you only really understand if you have no desire for children. He makes the crack that, "we like to lay in bed on Saturday mornings and smoke weed and watch movies and we couldn't do that if we had kids" and people are super f*cking butt hurt over it.

People legit COULD NOT WAIT to rip into this man's soul because he had the nerve to have a different opinion than them. My favorites are shit like, "imagine bragging about being a loser" and "sad, they will wake up at fifty and realize life has no meaning."

Seriously, y'all? Your life had absolutely NO meaning for you whatsoever before you had children? You didn't have families or jobs or friends or pets or homes or dreams or goals... none of that? You have literally just been sitting on the sidelines of your entire life waiting for the day you could squirt a little human out of your ballsack or vagina so you could have some meaning? Absolutely nothing before or after that? Right?

How incredibly f*cking sad for you. And I mean that in all seriousness. You say you feel bad for those of us without children, but I feel incredibly sad for you that there is nothing in your life other than one thing that gives you any meaning whatsoever. I'm not saying you feeling like your kids give you meaning or you always wanting to have children is wrong. It's not. It's valid and if you want to be a parent, then by all means, do it. But... nothing else out there in the universe, huh? You only exist to make the next person exist and you don't get to feel fulfilled without it? F*cking sad.

Also, not that it really matters but... y'all know they're like 40+ years old, right? They know whether or not their lives are working out and they're happy or not.

Another woman was all, "a simple we're selfish narcissists would've sufficed." Lady, get off your f*cking high horse. I'm unsure of how two people making a decision in their lives that effects literally no one other than the two making the decision is selfish, but ok then. It's selfish to not have kids... because? 

Because you said so? Because that's what everyone has done before you? Because your life has no meaning whatsoever without your children? 

I think you should read that again. YOUR LIFE has NO MEANING without YOUR CHILDREN.

People get to decide what gives them meaning and makes them feel fulfilled. Just because your children make you feel fulfilled doesn't mean the person standing right next to you feels that way. 

Also, it sounds like alot of people's "valid reasoning" for having children ties into them aging themselves. "What are you going to do when you're old and there's no one to take care of you?" "What's gonna happen when you get up there in age and you don't have kids around... to take care of you?" "I could never imagine not having my children."

I don't want you to imagine not having your children. I want you to be happy and safe and I want your life to be full of wonder and amazement and happiness. But also...

Whose to say the family I've built over my lifetime won't make sure I have the absolute best care I could ever have should the situation arise... whose to say I won't take care of myself all throughout my life perfectly happy and healthy until I just fall asleep one day and don't wake up...

And whose to say your children are going to grow up to be good people that care what happens to you? 

Oohhh... you don't like that one, do you? Hear me out though. You're perfectly comfortable thrusting your opinions into a complete strangers face... telling them they're ignorant and shameful for making a decision to NOT do something with their own bodies... I can't imagine you'll be too uncomfortable shoving your opinions and bullshit down your children's throats as well. And whose to say that child won't grow up to resent the f*ck out of you and stick your hateful ass in a nursing home and never set eyes upon you again until the day you die and you'll just be alone and sad? 

I'm not saying it will happen. I'm just saying, I've seen it happen. And people are so sure it will NEVER happen to them because they're so amazing and raising such extraordinary people... never once considering that maybe that child doesn't feel the same sense of obligation to you that you try to guilt them into. You think Charles Manson's mama knew what the f*ck he was gonna get into as an adult? I don't know for sure, but I'd feel safe taking the bet of no. Was he there to take care of her later in life when she got old? No. Why?

Because even though she did what the entire universe said she should (reproduce) and she did what she was supposed to do (raise said child), at the end of the day, her son was his own person (and a complete piece of shit) who didn't care about anyone other than himself. 

You think her life had absolutely no meaning other than her children? Shame on you for condemning that woman to such a horrid fate. You f*cking savages.

Furthermore, they're losers because they what? Like to smoke weed and watch movies and hang out with each other? I don't know why that sounds sad to you but that sounds like a f*cking treat to me. And I think most would agree. Maybe not with those particulars, but you've never just had a peaceful morning with your spouse and hung out and just I don't know... been present? They enjoy spending quality time together and don't feel like they need anyone other than each other to be fulfilled and that's somehow... sad? 

F*ck on somewhere with that nonsense.

You're calling them losers for not having children and smoking weed because they can't possibly be fulfilled... and all that good they're putting in the world is for nothing, right? Doesn't matter that they've raised more money and awareness for Alzheimer's than any other celebrities out there. Doesn't matter that they campaign for equal rights and donate their time to help others. Doesn't matter that they're descended from some of the most persecuted people in history. Doesn't matter that they're both creative and make films that bring joy to people. Doesn't matter that they travel the globe trying to share their legacy with the world through hope and opportunity.

They're losers because they made the decision to not have children. 

Yeah, they're clearly the ones with the issues. I hope y'all are wearing helmets because it's gonna f*cking hurt when you fall off that high horse of yours.

The whole thing is, there were people (like me) that defended the two and I'm pretty sure we mostly agree with each other. There are people with kids that understand that some people want them while it's not for everyone. Just because they wanted kids, they don't feel the need to judge others that don't.  People who don't have kids don't care if you do. We're happy for you and are thrilled that you feel fulfilled in your lives. We want your kids happy and healthy and chances are, we love SO many of them. Seriously, I love all of our nieces and nephews and cousins and friends children more than I can explain. BUT I still don't want my own. I have absolutely no desire to be a mother and whether you refuse to accept it or not, my husband and I are incredibly happy together, sans those young 'ens.

I want you to do what works for your life and I'm gonna do what works for my life and maybe we could meet somewhere in the middle and not f*cking argue about it. It's clear that you're not going to change your opinion (because history has shown that progress is unnecessary... right?) and I'm certainly not going to change mine, because again, MY F*CKING BODY. So maybe we should find a happy medium and you just keep your opinions to yourselves and live your life how you think and I'll do the same for mine.

Yes, I'm aware that we're only thirty-four years old. Yes, I'm aware we have much more life to live and (hopefully) many years to come. 

But no, I do not regret making the conscious decision to not have children. Having a child you have no desire for, or are unsure if you want to have in the first place, is f*cking selfish. Putting your insecurities and failed dreams and aspirations on that child is f*cking selfish. Having a child for validation from the people around you is f*cking selfish. Not being able to provide for your child because you put them in said situation even though you knew the outcome would be hard and impossible just because you wanted one is f*cking selfish. Having a child just so you can call yourself a parent and then still making all the decisions for yourself because "they're a kid and I'm the parent" is f*cking selfish.

Maybe the people that choose not to reproduce aren't the selfish ones. Perhaps, maybe we're all a little selfish. I'm selfish for only wanting to be responsible for my husband and myself and our lives with our pups and you're selfish for wanting to have children just so you can call yourself a parent and get that validation from society. Maybe we're both selfish or maybe neither of us are selfish. Maybe we're just trying to live our lives and opinionated people riding in on their steeds of superiority need to take a f*cking seat and let us go on about our business.

Also, Seth Rogen is a national f*cking treasure and coming for him is fighting words, f*cker.

It's just one of those days when you don't wanna wake up.

Everything is fucked, everybody sucks. You don't really know why, but you wanna justify rippin' someone's head off. No human contact, and if you interact your life is on contract. Your best bet is to stay away, motherfucker! It's just one of those days.

Sorry, I've managed to have Limp Bizkit stuck in my head all morning. Like, on loop. Say what you will, but I'm a 90s baby and that demands I have a piece of my mind reserved for Fred Durst lyrics. It's an unwritten rule that I have no control over.

I don't have much to contribute to the world today... but still wanted to ramble about the catastrophe that was my morning. Ok, well... that's a little bit dramatic. It hasn't been a catastrophe but have you ever had one of those mornings where everything is just slightly off... but you also don't really care enough to stress about it and decided to go with the flow?

Happened to me.

We rearranged our room and the setup right now has to be my favorite out of all the changes we've made over the years. I even have half of the table Dev built for my "beauty" section. Ie: I have a mirror that lights up and all my lotions and potions and creams and such are right there for my convenience. I still have some arranging to do to get it set up the way I want but so far it's awesome.

With that being said, I feel like I should also mention I got some new "beauty" stuff to play with. What can I say? I like to play dress up and the little girl inside of me refuses to be put down. Dev and I decided to invest a little moolah (very little because broke bitches) into our hobbies... he chose his tattooing (and is damn good at it with me reaping all the benefits) and I decided dress up! Because he's an enabler and indulges in my whimsy.

I haven't bought makeup in so long though, I learned that it's all quite a bit different than it used to be. Even in the last six to eight years (which is about how long it's been since I actually invested in anything new), it's all so different. I tried to start with Tiktok to learn how to use some of these new products (yes I use Tiktok for everything... including as my therapist and primary doctor but not the point!) and quickly learned that those bitches know what they're doing far better than I do.

At this point, I'm starting to believe that whole "can't teach an old dog new tricks" thing. Momma was fantastic at this kind of thing (she was also a cosmetologist/beautician/hairstylist... I don't know if there's a word that encompasses all that... actually yeah, I think beautician covers it) and she taught me how to put on makeup when I was real young. Like, I was twelve years old and could cake the face of a thirty-five year old woman and make that hussie look GOOD! Her reasoning was if I was going to wear it, then I should at least know how to apply it right. Unfortunately for me, she was amazing at many things that I never picked up on and she had talents that certainly didn't trickle down to me. And now? Everything's so different that the old rules don't apply. Or... maybe they do and I just have to find my happy medium? Yeah... probably that.

I also don't know why I chose 5:45am to try out a new look when I had to be out of the house by 6:30. And honestly, as I was putting on my makeup it was really good... until it wasn't. The situation finally escalated to something along the lines of:

Bitches make putting on eyelashes look easy... this shit is so NOT easy. *gives up on eyelashes from the night before*
When did my face start doing this thing? *spends the next ten minutes trying to pull my face back to where it used to be*
Wow... I apparently don't know shit about contour or bronzer.
*puts some more bronzer on in the spots the videos said* Yeah... I don't think I'm doing this right. Does this make me look like I have dirt on my face?
*gives up on the bronzer and moves onto blush* This shit is way more pigmented than I remember blush being... WTF is happening?
*has flashbacks to my childhood and Tammy Faye Bakker* This has gone terribly awry.
*tries to blend and smooth everything together to look at least halfway decent* Eh, I reckon I'll set this shit, wash my face tonight, and hope for the best tomorrow morning. *brushes hair and doesn't do anything else because out of time*

And then to top it all off, I made my coffee this morning exactly how I like it and proceeded to leave it on the counter and walk right out of the house. Didn't realize it until I got to work and then rolled my eyes so hard at myself I think I lost a contact lens back there.

So you see, nothing has gone terrible. Life is still good and happy and fun.

I mostly just wanted to tell this story so I can conclude with the fact I do look like a 1980s evangelist and I'm not even sorry about it. Hopefully, this humpday gets on with it and Friday will be here before we know it. Because Dev and I have big plans.

Ok, not big plans. We have one WRTTMM to accomplish and then we'll be tattooing and hanging out and playing all weekend with each other. Because as I said, Dev indulges all my childish fantasies and psychedelic mindset.

It's a good life.

Love the life you have not the one you were expected to have.

I decided to do a little bit of reflecting for my thirty-fourth birthday.

Dani has a few quotes hanging in her office and one of my very favorites is, "love the life you have, not the life you expected to have." And the first time I read it, it stopped me in my tracks. Because I would say I live my life as an extension of this quote. 

Not living the way that I expected but more so, what was expected of me. 

I love my life. Dev and I have managed to fill our house with love and laughter and fun and joy and companionship. Our pups are an extension of our love, as they're our children and together we're all an amazing and beautiful family. 

My beautiful, amazing, special family. 

However, many people would look at our lives and roll their eyes. They would use words like lazy, codependent, barren (yes, that has been used to describe me because we made the decision to not have children), immature, shit like that.

And what do we say to those people who feel they have the right to have an opinion on it or tell us how we should live our lives? F*ck you and yo couch.

I'm so happy in my life. Happier than I ever thought I would be. Sometimes I feel guilt for being so happy. I realized I felt like that because if Momma hadn't passed away, life would look alot different now than it does. But, I think through that guilt and know she would want nothing but happiness and love for me. Just because I'm happy now doesn't mean I don't miss her or wish she was here. It just means I'm living a fulfilling life and she would be proud of that.

So to the people who don't think it's a good or realistic life? KILL YOURSELF, TROY.

I feel like we are all the other needs. And I'm sure some people would think that's incredibly unhealthy. People say shit like, "you can't only have your spouse as your friend" and others say "you can't only hang out with your spouse" and "you need girlfriends." Society thinks we should spend time apart and live by a set of standards that were developed in 1953. I say to hell with all that.

Y'all know it's 2024, right? The world is full and open to possibilities and we don't have to live the lives of the umpteenth generations before us. Sure, we can take pieces and skills and morals and apply them to our lives moving forward, but there really is no guideline to how you should be living your life. There are no set times you should meet your accomplishments and there's no one other than yourself that should tell you what is and what is not an accomplishment in YOUR life.

You want to have children? Cool. You don't want to procreate? Cool. You want to go back to school in your forties? You go, girl. You never want to step foot into another educational hall as long as you live? Don't blame you, dude. You wanna live life on the road out of a van? Me too. You want to have a $200,000 house? I wouldn't want to clean that bitch, but I'm happy for you!

See how that works? I don't give a shit how you want to live your life as long as you're not hurting anyone and being an absolute piece of shit while you're doing it. You're not hurting anyone, you're just weird and eclectic and quirky? You do you and the rest will come out in the wash or ringer.

I don't have an age where I think you should be a homeowner, or have children, or be finished with your education, or stop eating cereal for dinner. I don't even think you should do any of those things if you don't want to. You want to live in a fantasy land and fill your home with Disney and sour patch kids? You're grown and work hard for your money DO WHAT YOU WANT.

If you are quite literally winging life with $2.03 in your checking account and $30 in your savings account and trying to pay bills paycheck by paycheck, guess what? I'm still f*cking proud of you, because you're trying and doing the best you can do.

I think we could all do with extending a little more grace to those around us. Life is hard and unpredictable and there really is no reason to make another's life worse just because you don't agree with something about said person. Not being a dick, but can't you just turn right back the f*ck around and mind your own f*cking business? 

Oh, you have a problem with my excessive use of the word f*ck? Blow me.

So no, my life is not what others deem to be conventional. I am me and we live our lives the best way we know how. With nothing but love and admiration and devotion for the other. 

Live your life for you. We only get one and quite honestly it's beautiful in all the ways. Be free and happy... fill your homes with warmth and companionship and love whomever is going to love you back the fiercest. I know I do.

And just so you know, you don't have to wait until your thirty-fourth birthday to do it. Start right now.

Let's go ahead and put it out there so people know and move on with their lives. *this is my opinion and you are more than welcome to walk away*

I have been asked more about my uterus in the last week and a half than I have my entire life. 

In fact, people are increasingly concerned about the decisions we (people that possess a uterus) make, guns, and somewhere in the back folks keep hollering about Jesus.

The only thing I have to say to that last one is if y'all don't think Jesus is rolling his eyes right about now, you're sorely mistaken. But, that's an argument that I have no desire to partake in. Also, I'm not exactly yearning to have a conversation about guns either. In fact, its ridiculous that I even have to say anything about any of this, because people can't quit acting a fool and mind their own fucking business.

Seriously, if people could just mind their own business, stop shooting/stabbing/raping/maiming/harming each other, and just get on a mutual level, life would be so much simpler.

Alas, that's not ever going to happen. Because who would want to live a peaceful life and be happy while doing it? People are too busy plotting how to hurt someone or screw them over and the rest of us have to deal with the repercussions. Assholes.

Remember a couple years ago when the pandemic first hit and we were all hunkered down in our houses, trying random TikTok hacks, binge-watching Netflix, experimenting with exercise (or in my case, drinking), not wearing pants, and honestly wanting everyone around us to be healthy, but also keep their distance? Can we please go back to that? 

Not the pandemic part, but the quarantine and generally trying not to be a terrible person part? Let's do that.

I say all that so I can respond to the constant questions that are on loop everywhere in our country (and I'm assuming with some instances, the world). Let's just jump right on in.

Do I believe in abortion? Medically, yes. Do I think it should be used as the first form of birth control? No. Do I think there are circumstances that call for abortion? Yes. Do I think every single person has the right to make a decision about their own body no matter their age, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or religious beliefs? Absolutely. Do I think it's ok for someone, whether it be politician or passerby to shame someone or make a decision for that person that has absolutely nothing to do with their life? Absolutely not. And also, fuck you.

I don't care where you stand with your religious beliefs. Honestly, I couldn't give less of a shit. I was raised smack dab in the middle of the Bible belt. I know scripture and I've been around "the gospel" my entire life. They drill that into you and if you don't believe everything exactly how they think you should, you are shamed for it. There is no understanding or discussion, it is simply you are shamed. Period. Every mistake you have ever made, every unfiltered thought you said out loud, all the most devastating moments and events in your life will be thrown in your face and there will be no remorse from them, because you don't fit into their belief system. As an adult, I would not say I'm religious at all. Spiritual? Yes. Religious? No. 

Basically, what I'm saying is, you can stand there and yell and scream at me until you are blue in the face about how I'm a sinner and going to hell, because I'm "pro-choice." Well, guess what? I wouldn't say I'm "pro-choice" or "pro-life." I would however say I am pro mind your own fucking business and quit thinking your beliefs are the only thing acceptable in the universe.

How about you keep your church out of my fucking vagina and I'll keep my vagina out of your church? Is that a deal that can be made? If so, sign me and about fourteen million other people the fuck up.

Look, I'm not trying to be an asshole. Honestly, it just comes natural. But, I'm having a real hard time with people right now.

I mean, the government decided to regulate my uterus and nicotine consumption within two days of each other and honestly, I feel like I might be treading in dangerous waters. Frankly, I picked the wrong year to stop drinking and taking crazy pills. And yes, I can say crazy pills, because I am not shaming anyone with mental health issues. I call them crazy pills, strictly for myself, because I felt as though they kept me from going crazy for awhile. So before you get pissed off about that, let me go ahead and stop you right there and say once again, you don't like it? I don't fucking care.

On the other side of Roe v. Wade being overturned, I've heard many people discussing gay marriage and how the right to that may be taken or re-evaluated as well. Where do I stand on that?

Well, first off, can we stop calling it gay marriage and call it what it is? 

Marriage. Just marriage. That's legitimately all it is. Just two people married to each other, making decisions, sharing bills, caring for each other, and never knowing where to go out to eat for the rest of their lives. 

I'm going to my little cousins wedding in a few weeks. When she sent me the invitation did she say, "Katiedid, would you like to come to my gay wedding?" Hell no. She simply asked, "Katiedid, would you like to come to my wedding?" That's all she needed to say, because its not a "gay wedding" it is just a fucking wedding. A wedding that she, her fiancé, and every single other person should have the fucking right to have if they so please.

I have a hard time with people having such a problem with this. Like, why in the actual fuck do you even care? I certainly wouldn't invite your opinion into my marriage and I'm fairly certain you're not taking your marital decisions to the polls to ask everyone else what they think. So again, why in the actual fuck do you even care? 

And before you answer that with the same thing I've heard a million times, remember, I don't give any shits where your religious beliefs lie. Again, I'll say it for the people in the back, YOUR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO AFFECT THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU WITHIN THEIR OWN LIVES. 

Furthermore, if you feel so strongly about other peoples relationships or marriages (you know, the ones that quite literally have nothing to do with your life), where are you to help out all the people in abusive situations? Oh wait, let me guess! That's not your business. Why isn't it your business? Because it's not your relationship or marriage? Guess what? No relationship or marriage you're not an active participant in is your business.

You'll turn a blind eye to Steve beating the absolute dogshit out of Brenda, but Lord forbid Brad ask fucking Rick to Prom. I will never understand some people.

You believe what you believe, I'll believe what I believe, and we can still coexist without shoving our opinions down each others throats. We could probably even be friends. Because I actually have friends and we have different opinions about many things. And you know what? We're still friends even though we think about certain things differently. I don't try to get them to believe what I believe, they don't try to get me to believe what they believe. We actually just have adult conversations and continue on with our own lives. Fucking wild, right?

However, I cannot, and absolutely would not want, to be friends with someone who doesn't think every single person deserves their own basic fundamental rights. We can disagree on a whole lot of things and continue throughout our lives, but this is a hard limit for me. You think you have the right to tell someone else how to live their life, because your opinion and structured belief system is the only thing that matters? Seriously? 

Must be exhausting being so fucking entitled all the time.

Speaking of entitled.... guns. Look, I don't even want to get into this shit, because honestly, why would I want to? However, it seems ever prevalent in today's world, so I might as well just say what I'm gonna say since everyone seems to associate gun control with my uterus. 

2022 is fucking wild, dude.

Look, I am very much not anti-gun. I own guns and have been around and used guns my entire life. I was taught from a young age to handle and respect every single weapon as if it's loaded and the safety is off at all times. I've used them to hunt and I am a firm believer in the right to have weapons to protect your home, your family, and yourself. Not only that, but I understand gun collection/use as a hobby. And my stance on "the right to bare arms" holds firm.

However, if you think for one second that I'm perfectly fine with the amount of mass shootings that have occurred and continue to occur, you are sadly fucking mistaken. It is absolutely appalling to me that people have to live in constant fear every time they step in public. It makes me physically ill that everyday I watch people send their children to school and they have to consistently worry that it may be the last time that they see said child.

I was a kid when Columbine happened. I remember the absolute overwhelming fear and anxiety that I felt watching that unfold and then going back into school after it happened. I was absolutely petrified before my nine year old brain could really process exactly what I was so petrified of or even what I was feeling. I had no idea what those feelings were or how to deal with them. And now, that feeling is something that kids don't just have to deal with, but is such a common occurrence, have to actually prepare themselves for.

How fucking sad is that? No, not sad. Devastating. 

I've always been open about not wanting to have children. And while my stance on marriage has significantly changed, my decision on children has not. D and I are simply happy with it being just us and our pups. Don't get me wrong, we love children. We have many nieces, nephews, cousins, and friends with children. We just don't want any of our own.

The morning of Uvalde, TX, I quite literally cried in public. I couldn't fathom how something like this had happened yet again. Honestly, I was relieved to not be a parent. I've never wanted to be a parent, but it was the first time in my life that I was actually thankful I wasn't. Maybe that makes me sound cruel or something, but I honestly don't know how people do it. And I certainly didn't envy my brother, sister in laws, or brother in laws for having to wait for their children to get home that day and send them into school the next.

Do I think something more can be done about gun control and the violent situations arising? Yes. Do I think that taking peoples guns and outlawing a bunch of things is going to stop the problem? Absolutely not. Do I think we can somehow find a solution that works for everyone with some understanding and a little follow through? Yes. Just because something is going to be hard, or no one knows where to start, doesn't mean we shouldn't start somewhere. Something needs to be done. What? I don't have all the answers, I really don't. Maybe this is coming from a place of naivete, but I feel like there is a solution out there. We simply haven't found it yet. Doesn't mean we stop trying. 

The majority of responsible gun owners feel the exact same way I do. Just because you are ok with, like, or appreciate a weapon, does not automatically make you a criminal with some kind of agenda. Nor does it make you strange for having the interest.

With that being said.... Do I want to take anyone's guns? No. As I said, I own guns and have absolutely no problem with someone having them if they are responsible adults that have respect for the weapons around them. But, do I still want a solution to the horrible events happening in our country and justice for the victims? Abso-fucking-lutely. 

And before you say some stupid shit like, "making it harder for people to buy guns legally won't stop people, they'll just buy them on the street!" let me say, I am fully aware of that. I didn't say "punishing" innocent people was going to stop criminals. In fact, I didn't say I had any solutions or answers whatsoever. I simply stated the fact that this current situation needs a resolution of some kind. 

Before I move on from this topic, I feel it needs to be said, if you have somehow sought out to micro-manage my words and came to the conclusion of "she says she's sad about children losing their lives, but she's pro-abortion so what about those babies?" I would just like to say, you're a fucking bag of dicks and the exact problem with society. I don't have to explain my feelings or thought process to you. Just know, your opinion on my opinion means less to me than what your religious stance does. And trust me when I say, that's a whole lot of not giving even half a shit being accomplished.

Did I miss anything? I feel like I've covered all the topics that people are discussing right now.

I'll leave off with social media.

The only reason I felt the need to write anything on this is simply because I'm tired. I'm tired of people constantly asking and trying to justify themselves for thinking and doing horrible shit to other people. I'm tired of accepting people into my life that are more fitting to be a Disney villain. I'm tired of "letting shit roll off my shoulders" because it's uncomfortable or confrontational. It's simple really. I don't accept that kind of behavior from people in my everyday life and I'm not about to accept it on any form of social media. I simply delete and block. Childish? Maybe, but I honestly don't care. 

While watching this shit show implode social media you would not believe some of the nastiness coming from people. I dealt with this for about.... oh, I don't know.... fifteen minutes and came to the realization I don't care about any of those people enough to actually stay "friends" with them.

Seriously. I'm a thirty-two year old woman. Why the fuck would I care what my fourth grade teachers opinion of the way I "turned out" would be? I thought about it and realized I didn't. I didn't care at all. There were no fucks to be given. So.... delete-block. The guy who didn't even speak to me until we were well into our twenties even though we quite literally have known each other almost thirty years? Delete-block. The girl I met through an old friend of mine that was just kind of hanging out on my friends list even though we don't like each other? Delete-block. 

Social media has tricked us into thinking that we need the approval of other people and I simply don't agree. I have cut people out of my physical everyday life that have made me feel a certain way and my feelings towards social media are now no more different. I can't just continually cut people out of my life? Snip.... snip.... snippity snip, motherfuckers.

And you know what? That's fine. People are more than welcome to accept or remove me from their life as well. 

I don't crave approval. Not to mention, that's my entire point for this post.

What I'm saying is, this is my stance on these topics. I'm not asking for your opinion. I'm not demanding you accept mine. That's why this is my opinion. It's for me, myself, and I. Not only am I not asking your approval, but I'm outright telling you I don't care about it. Not that I don't need it, or I think I'm too good for it, or my mind can't possibly ever change about anything, I just honestly don't give a shit.

I am human. I am flawed and I make mistakes. I'm not the same person I've always been and my opinions at times contradict themselves. I'm not saying I'm a great person or that there are things about me that aren't unusual. I'm not even saying I'm right and you're wrong. 

I am simply saying, this is my opinion on it. We don't have to talk about it and the chances of me talking about it again are slim to none. Hence, the writing it out once and for all and letting sleeping dogs lie.

I am not going to fight or argue with you. I am not going to shame or get into some kind of grand debate with you. But, I am also not going to stand idly by and allow you to treat me or the people I care about like shit. Does it have to be confrontational? Am I threatening to fight you over it? No. I'm calmly telling you that's fine, we're adults, we can quite literally go our separate ways and never have to speak to each other again. Isn't that grand?

You spend your time with people you want to be around and make you feel good about yourself and I'll spend my time with the people I love and make me feel comfortable being the person that I truly am.

Because snip.... snip.... snippity snip, motherfuckers.

There's alot happening in the world right now.

And we would all be insane to dismiss or diminish it.

Where are we at? What is happening? I find myself asking these questions far more the older I get. When you're a child, it's easy to see things in very simple terms. There's good and bad. Right and wrong. But, as you get older, it becomes more clear to you that other people don't see things in those terms.

I've always been the type of person to look at things with the mindset I have since I was a child. And maybe that's wrong, or even ignorant of me. But, I was raised with very simple beliefs. Everybody is equal regardless of ethnicity or background. Treat others how you would want them to treat you. There is a wrong way and a right way. Love is love.

All of these things have followed me from my childhood into my adult life. I still look at every situation and think to myself, how would I want to be treated in this scenario? And honestly, I love that about myself. I love my way of thinking. I look at people exactly like that.... as people. I don't see color or sexuality, I don't see how much money they make or where they come from. I just look at everyone as people. My people, your people, our people.

But, it's become abundantly clear to me that other people do not believe in my way of thinking. They want to think through color and sexuality and gender. They want to feel superior to others and to believe that they are somehow entitled to more, all because they are who they are.

What makes them better than another person? Beats me.

I want us all to be at a place in this world where we can walk down the street and we don't have to worry about our children, spouses, parents. I want us all to be able to look at each other as people and not as the enemy.

Do I like the fact that people are having to march and protest? No. Do I think that protesting has a long and proven history of helping to make things better in the end? Yes. Do I think it's ok to deface property and riot in the streets? No. Do I think it's insane that a person is more at risk because of the color of their skin? Yes. Do I think that taking down statues is trying to erase history? No. Do I think it's ridiculous that we put up statues to glorify terrible and/or racist people to begin with? Yes.

I was raised in the South. And I'm proud of that. I was plucked straight out of the holler and you had to travel down numerous backroads to get to where I'm from. I have never denied that I am a hillbilly and I wear that as a badge of honor. However, do I think that the long history of the abuse curated in the south is ok? No. I'm not proud of that. That's not me and that's not who I am. And that's not who the majority of the people I was raised with are.

I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, because I'm not. What I am saying though, is I think it's absolutely ridiculous that some people feel the need to condemn others or treat them as if they're beneath themselves. Do you know who does shit like that?

Fucking assholes. That's who. My piece of life advice? Don't be a fucking asshole.

In these trying times, sometimes you just need to hug your pups.

I may be addicted to gambling, but I'm not 100% sure on that.

I recently decided that I would like to have an Ipod, because I want to make an extreme playlist for mine and D's upcoming roadtrip to FL in March. I decided on an Ipod Touch, because I have one of those, although it's super old and I can't seem to find it anywhere.

In all fairness, it's probably in a random box/tote somewhere in my shed.... or other shed.... or garage.... or spare bedroom. Yeah, I'm a bit of a hoarder, BUT MOVE ON.

The point is, I want this thing and I want it to have a shit ton of GB's (like, 128?), because as I said EXTREME PLAYLIST. I looked all over Amazon and Best Buy and finally stumbled upon eBay where I found a fairly new one with the GB's I'm looking for, for around $68.

Unfortunately, there wasn't a "buy now" option for this one (and Momma ain't trying to spend no $200-$300, because f*ck that), so I had to resort to bidding. The bid was set at $67, so I did $68.... I got an email a couple of hours later that informed me that somebody had outbid me by $1, so I upped mine to $69.... and then, somebody had the audacity to take it to $70.

Like, wtf dude?! Don't you see I'm on a mission and trying to get this so I can make this EXTREME PLAYLIST and live my life?!!?!

So now, I have resorted to making skilled plans and trying to determine how long I can let this go until I submit a final bid right at the countdown so I can win. I have never done anything like this before in my life, but the fact is, I really want to win this to the point I'm strategizing and making notes. I'm even thinking about putting the app on my phone so that I can keep up with the process in the middle of the f*cking night. UPDATE: I totally put the app on my phone.

Y'all, I might have a bit of a problem at this point. Or, maybe it's healthy (probably not)?! Who knows, all I know is I'll check back in once I win/lose. And if I lose, I'm gonna be real pissed off, because this is my first time "gambling" and I'm starting to see how people develop a problem?! And, I know that there are other ways to make a playlist and I probably don't even need an Ipod, or I could just man up and clean out two sheds, a garage, and a back bedroom to find my old one, but I think we can all just admit that it's not about the Ipod at this point.

UPDATE: I f*cking won!! Ok, maybe I didn't win the one I was originally going for (some tramp beat me at the two second mark), but I definitely won a go around and my Ipod is currently being shipped to me! And sure, I may have a bit of a gambling problem, but with all of my other problems, I can just add it to the list and keep going.

I had the realization that I am that (almost) thirty year old.

Saturday was a real peaceful day. D and my brother both had to work, so it was just me and the pups at home. I ended up cleaning our house, catching up on laundry, setting stuff out for supper to defrost, having some wine, and watching I, Tonya with the pups. It was laid back and relaxing.

Then.... oh, then. When D and my brother got home from work they informed me that they had invited a friend of theirs from work over that evening. I was a little annoyed (because I like being home alone), but decided that if it was one friend then it wouldn't be all that bad. He could just eat supper with us and then they could go into my brother's room and play video games or something and leave me the hell alone.

But, I was very very wrong. You see, one friend of theirs turned into.... one friend and his girlfriend.... and two other friends of said dude. They just all showed up, ranging from the ages of 19-21 and I wanted to pull my f*cking hair out. They were nice enough, but like I said, I like to be home alone.

Have y'all ever been (almost) thirty and hung out with 19-21 year olds? If not, I'm gonna go ahead and let you in on a little secret.... DON'T F*CKING DO IT. I almost had to double up on my anxiety meds. They ended up needing to crash at our house that night (the actual friend had to work the next morning) and then we had to have this conversation:

Me: Well, y'all should probably head home, it's getting pretty late.
Him: It's ten o'clock.
Me: Yeah, but you have to open the store in the morning.
Him: Yeah, but since I open the store and work tomorrow, I only need about an hour of sleep.
Me: Well, I have to work the day after tomorrow and I need to start sleeping for it right now.

Needless to say, I didn't sleep for shit that night (I never do when there are other people in our house) and I was up at six o'clock the next morning cleaning our house. Then, I had to have a day of (almost) thirty by shopping at Sam's Club, sewing, and watching tv while drinking wine. See, now that's how I like my days to go.

Now, here I am back at work on a Monday morning, actually happy that I'm doing some adulting. Sure, I'd rather be at home cleaning and with my pups, but the fact that I'm not surrounded by children (yes, teens/early twenty year olds are considered children by me) is very nice.

I'm going to tell my brother not to be inviting people over anymore like that. Sure, I want them to have fun, but I also want my house calm and in one f*cking piece.... and not smelling like body odor and vomit. Seriously, when did the generation after me decide that showering wasn't a thing? Uck.

And if my brother doesn't listen.... I'm gonna have to punch him in the d*ck.

What in the actual f*ck?!!?! People actually do things like this?!!?!

I've sold things here and there on FB Marketplace, because with the "Marketplace" aspect, it seemed easier and more convenient than Craigslist and I'm not really sure if anyone still reads the newspaper, so putting an "ad" in is a lot.

I haven't sold anything "big", just a couple of tables, a ceiling fan, and a couple window air conditioners. You know, just things that were taking up space in my shed/garage that I didn't really have a use for anymore.

With that being said, more recently I've decided to finally let Momma's car go. We had talked about it before she passed away and afterwards, I was just having a hard time letting it go. In all honesty, I don't know why since we hadn't driven it for a couple of years at that point (we already had Ricardo and I drove completely after her surgery), but there's just something about it. But, I just keep replaying Monna in my head and I know she would want me to try and do things to keep going.

So, I decided to put a listing up to sell it for parts (it needs body work, a little frame work on the backend, and a new battery, but the motor, transmission, etc. is still good), because I figured if I did that then I couldn't change my mind.

I've had a few offers and I've chosen a woman who works at a salvage yard to sell it to. That way, they haul it away (the battery is beyond dead) without charging an additional fee. But, before I sold it to her, I was contacted by a guy that was interested in trading the car for a home theatre system. Since I'm getting rid of the car to mostly get it out of the yard so we can extend our fence, that seemed fine with me. The only stipulation I had was that the guy needed to either set it up or show me how to set it up so I could make sure it worked and then it wouldn't be an issue. (And I of course would have D there, because I most certainly won't meet strangers like that by myself). I also don't just give out my address to strangers, because no. And that's when things got.... creepy.

I tried to ignore him the first time, because I assumed that it was a typo/autocorrect, because who talks to people that way? I didn't want to assume that he was a creeper, because that seemed like I might be jumping to conclusions and I hate doing that. Besides, even if it wasn't autocorrect, some people have no filter and say ridiculous things due to impulse control when they're nervous, right? I know that sounds naive, but I thought to myself, things like this don't actually happen to random people like me. You only hear about things like this from "important" people. People that other people know. Not me.

Then I got the other message and realized that he was in fact, a piece of sh*t.

To say I was taken aback and appalled would be an understatement. In all honesty, my first reaction was that I wanted to punch that dude in the face. I mean, who seriously treats people like this? I was seriously pissed off. I didn't really know how to react or how I should react, but the fact that I was pissed off was in the forefront.

I had talked to D about the trade and he had asked me to let him know what came of it. I took a screenshot of what they guy had said and he immediately called me. Of course, he was super pissed off too. And when I say pissed off, I mean it. He was so angry that I thought he was mad at me and the only thing I could think of was what the f*ck did I do?

When he got home that evening we talked about it and he let me know that he wasn't mad at me at all, he was mad at the fact that someone had treated me that way. I let him know that I was pretty pissed off that the guy had said what he said and he was obviously not a good person too. And that's when he looked at me and said, do you want to file sexual harassment charges? It caught me off guard, because I hadn't even thought of that. The only thing that I had thought about was he was a gross person and how pissed off I was. I didn't even make the sexual harassment connection.

And that's when it hit me, I got sexually harassed while selling something on FB Marketplace.

The thought of it made me sick at my stomach. Something like this has never happened to me before. At least, not that I remembered. Then again, I hadn't realized that's what this was and I wondered how many times this could have happened in my life and I just never made the connection. I felt angry, nauseous, and honestly.... dumb.

Dumb, because how could I not realize that's what this was? I'm not a genius by any means, but I certainly have enough common sense to get me by in life. And yet, it never occurred to me until it was said aloud. Then, I got even more pissed off. Who does this dude think he is? Why does he think it's ok to to talk to, not just me, but anyone like this? Asshole.

He even messaged D and let him know that he should be happy and I should be flattered, because he was giving me attention. ATTENTION?!!?! First off, no one asks for this kind of "attention." Secondly, is this how you justify being a garbage human? How do you assume that everything you say like this is welcomed or asked for just because you felt like it. How do you think this is flattering? Again, asshole.

I decided not to press charges. Not because I'm ok with what he had said or what happened, but after talking about it, it was just the decision I came to. I decided instead to report him to FB (something I also didn't know you could do) and block him. I thought at least if I "reported" him then they could stop him from contacting other people. And I hope they do.

Furthermore, I hope this douchebag stops being such a jerk and if he ever approaches someone else with this kind of situation, that they do get the opportunity to punch him in the mouth.

My bloodline ends with me.... the dramatic way to let people know.

I read an article the other day (I can't remember which website?), written by a woman who doesn't want kids and was being chastised for it. Because apparently, when you're a woman, the only thing you should want in life is to be a mother.

It's ok, dude. I get it all the time.

You see, my mother was the best mother. And I know almost everyone thinks and says that about their mother, but when I say it, it's true. I am a firm believer that some people are born to be mothers.... and some are not.

One of the things that I deal with the most in life, is when people ask me when I'm going to have kids. Once someone learns that you have no plans for children or that you don't want them, they seem to make it their lifelong goal to ensure that you do in fact reproduce.

Why it's so important to other people what pops out of my vagina, I'll never know, but I guess that's one of the great mysteries of life that I'll never solve.

If it were possible, I would have Robert Stack narrate my life.

You see, I've never wanted kids. I once had to write a paper for my "senior project" (in high school.... so many moons ago) detailing what I thought my life would look like in ten years, and actually had to write a second paper, because the first one came off so sarcastic. So yeah, two papers. One truthful and one completely made up.

But, when you tell people that you don't want kids, they look at you like you have six heads. And then you get to hear the best of the best with shit like:

"I don't know how you can feel that way, I've always wanted a family."
"You'll change your mind."
"That'll all change when you meet the right person."
"Everyone thinks they can't be a mother, but once you hold that baby in your arms...."
"Do you hate all children?"
Are you too selfish to have children?"
"Who will take care of you when you're old?"
"Parenting is the best job in the whole world! You'll be missing out."
"What if your husband decides he wants kids? You know, people get divorced over that."

Well, my answers to those inquiries are quite simple really:

I don't feel like a family is just parents and children. There are many kinds of families, whether bound by blood or not, that truly love each other and would do anything for the other.

I'm not going to change my mind. Have you met me? Once my mind is set, it's there and there's no going back. I'm too stubborn and set in my ways to turn it around now.

And frankly, I have met the right person. If I was going to have children, it would be with D, because I know he would be a fantastic dad. But, I still don't want kids.

You know what makes me happy when I hold it in my arms? Puppies, burritos, and booze. Not necessarily in that order. We are all entitled to our happiness and who is one person to determined what happiness is for another?

No, I don't hate all children. I love my nephews dearly and brag about other children until I'm blue in the face. I just don't want to have any of "my own." And that doesn't mean that I don't love them or that I would ever hurt a child. Just because you love something, doesn't mean you want it. I love Mexican food, but that doesn't mean I want to sit down and eat fifty burritos every day for the rest of my life. Why? Because that's expensive and will cause stomach problems.

Call it selfish if you want. I feel truly horrible for the people that want to be mothers and can't. My heart goes out to them and I wish them all the hope, love, and encouragement from the deepest and most sincere part of myself. But, just because I want that for them, doesn't mean that I want it for myself.

I don't know who will take care of me when I'm old. Hopefully I'll be able to take care of myself or just randomly kill over one day and won't be a bother to anyone else. Besides, who's to say that if I were to have children, that they wouldn't be little shits of human beings and would actually take care of me when I'm old anyways?

You know what the best job in the world is? Puppy daycare runner. I don't know if that's a legit title or not, but I'm currently looking into it as we speak.

I know where my husband fiance stands on kids. He's always wanted kids. And don't think for one minute that we haven't had that talk, because we have. In fact, we have that talk at least once a week, because I don't want him to feel like he's missing out on anything, and honestly, that's the kind of talk you really should have BEFORE you get married. I want to be able to give him everything that he wants in the world and to make him unconditionally happy, but I also am not going to have kids just to please someone else. Maybe that's selfish? Maybe that's just realistic. Either way, we both know where one another stands on the subject and we've learned to not only live with it, but understand it.

D has always wanted ten kids. I've never wanted any. We compromised and have three dogs (with him trying to sneak in a fourth). And our lives revolve around those pups. And I wouldn't have it any other way. If D wants it another way, he knows that he can tell me. We're very open and honest about our future with each other. Always have been.

So, quit saying that I'm missing out. Quit trying to make me feel bad for not wanting kids. Stop trying to change my mind and if you don't like all of my answers, then maybe you shouldn't bring up the subject. And if you feel like it's something you want for your life, don't just assume that every other person around you wants the same thing.

Why?! BECAUSE MY BLOODLINE ENDS WITH ME. That's why.

Snapchat is an evil.... but mostly hilarious.... thing.

My brother and D decided to play around with Snapchat filters and to say that it was pretty damn hilarious would be an understatement. Personally, I don't do Snapchat, but I've seen enough of the filters around to know that it can get pretty wonky at times. I mean, we've all seen the girls with the puppy eyes/tongues, right?!

There's a new one out (at least, I think it's new?) that switches your gender. They decided to play with that one a little and hilarity definitely ensued.

In fact, it changed D into his mom, my brother into a Bratz doll, and me? Well.... it directly changed me into my brother. And we laughed about it for hours (I actually couldn't breathe for a minute, because I was laughing too hard). Now I think D finds it both hysterical and creepy at how much my brother and I look alike.

To say that I've been slacking would be an understatement. *exasperation*

Y'all, it's been so long since I've wrote anything down. Well.... anything aside from grocery lists and sixteen thousand notebooks full of work stuff. (shoot. me. now. oomph.)

Being an adult is hard.

With that being said, I couldn't tell you how many times I've opened my blogger on a spare tab and attempted to write something down. Basically, just anything down. I now live by the term "the struggle is real" and that's probably what's going to have to be written on my tombstone.

I'm going to try and catch up.... at least, hit some things that I may elaborate on later on down the road.

-Thanks to Danielle, I learned that I've been using a can opener wrong my entire life.
A couple of weeks back, Danielle watched a video on FB (isn't that where most evil things start these days?) of Djswauvea (no, I don't know if that's his legit name or just a youtube name) reacting to finding out that he had been using a can opener wrong his entire life. Thinking that this was one of those "you can't believe everything on the internet, especially FB" moments, I gave it a go.... and apparently, I've just been using one wrong for twenty-eight years. You wouldn't believe how irrationally angry it made me (and Danielle by extension, because OF COURSE I had to text her immediately afterwards). Sometimes it really is the little things.

-I went and seen my amazing "lady doctor" last week and we're trying something new (Kyleena.... to be continued).
I've had a love/hate relationship with my "lady doctor" for around four (five?) years now. You know what, let me correct that.... I've had a love/hate relationship with my "lady bits" for around four (five?) years now, but I LOVE my "lady doctor." She is quite literally the best. Around four (five?) years ago, I gained a significant amount of weight and felt HORRIBLE at all times. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, but assumed that it might have something to do with my "lady bits" because I had a Mirena and it was almost time to have it removed (I've heard they can cause weird side effects when it's almost time to have it removed as your body's way of reminding you). Come to find out, it was my "lady bits" that were the problem, but not my IUD. Long story short, I've struggled with it and everything surrounding it since. But, after four (five?) years of being on the pill (for hormonal reasons), my "lady doctor" told me she thought it would be best to try out Kyleena, as it's designed with women who've never had children in mind. She thinks it will really help some of my issues and since I trust her and her opinion she put the order in and I go back to have it placed once her office receives it.

-It rained for four days straight.... and now it's officially "that time" of year.
Ah, it's officially "that time" of the year.... the time where you have the heat (defroster) on on the way to work, the AC cranked on the way home at the end of the day, storms and rain are always in the forecast, and you've taken so many allergy meds you don't know how to be a functional adult (please, like I've ever known that). Welcome to the Midwest!! (Also, I take allergy meds around the clock/year, so this part is not an adjustment for me). PS: my grass desperately needs mowed and I'm like eh.

-You can officially say that I've watched an entire season of American Horror Story.
Last year in September/October I started watching the third season of American Horror Story.... one of my favorite parts of that show is the fact that each season is a different subject than all the others, but they all seem to still meld together. I decided to start with Coven, because as most people know, I love all things witches (you can blame the Sanderson sisters and the fact that I want to go to Salem). With the move and my short attention span, I never finished.... UNTIL NOW. Once it was done, I went back and started season one.

-And five whole seasons of Shameless.
My cousin, J, told me I needed to check out the show and since it has been on my Netflix queue for months I decided that I should give it a go. I more or less loved and binge-watched the first five seasons, but have lost steam since my favorite character (Mickey Milkovich) is no longer on there. Oh, and since Momma officially hates it, because both of her favorites (Sheila and Jimmy/Steve/Jack) are gone. I want to continue with it, but whether or not I get to is to be determined.

-Spart won't quit growing like he's a damn weed.
It's been a long while since we've had a big dog. Tayder is my little guy and has been with me for YEARS, but he was the first "little" dog that I've ever personally had. We always had bigger dogs, but got pretty used to it just being my little man. Then Spart joined the family and even though he was pretty puny when we brought him home, he is a GIANT now. That doesn't stop him from thinking he's a lapdog and trying to hide behind Tayder when he's scared though. (Side note: Happy International Dog Day!! Did y'all know that was thing? If not, you do now!)

-Tayder still isn't 100% onboard with having a baby brother.... but he's adjusting.
Speaking of my little buddy and Spart.... remember how I said Tayder has been with me for years? Well, after Momma's pup, Dixie, passed away, it's been only Tayder. He got pretty accustomed to being in a one dog household and having a giant little brother has been quite the adjustment for everyone. He's probably still not real happy about it, but he's used to him at this point.

-We got new windows put in our house in the living room and kitchen.
When we moved into our house last year, we knew that there were going to be things we needed to get done. It's an older house and while it was pretty decent, it's not brand new. Lucky for us, I don't mind having to put in some work and it's really exciting to have our own house (again!) and knowing that we can do it anyway that we want, because we're never moving again (because I'm tired of f*cking moving and plan to just die there now). While I do know how to do quite a few things when it comes to remodeling/fixing things/building a house (we literally built my childhood home from the giant ass open field up and I help Uncle D with everything from installing countertops to fire pit building), there are certain things I think pros should do. Windows are one of those things. We couldn't afford to have them all replaced, but the only ones that needed it "right now" were the ones in the living room and kitchen, because they leaked HORRIBLY. Now that they're replaced, you can 100% tell the difference even within the AC itself.

-Got Hulu back (and kept Netflix).
I love Netflix. The fact that I can binge-watch to my little heart's content is no secret (even though I don't always get to). We tried out Hulu last year, but decided we should probably cut at least one of them out. I was pretty sad that Netflix had removed It's Always Sunny, but real happy to know Hulu now offers it. So, we got Hulu back. And they have some pretty good stuff.

-Had to deal with the entire world and their "Kiki Challenges."
I know y'all have see these "Kiki Challenges" and I want to punch Drake in his face for it. While I think it's completely stupid for someone to jump out of their moving vehicle to dance (y'all, I locked my keys in my parked, but running car once and felt like a giant dumbass then), and record it (why would you want evidence of you doing something illegal and/or dangerous to everyone in your vicinity), I have so say.... the "Kiki Challenge Fails" are what I'm here for.

-Prepared a bunch of green tomatoes for freezing for winter.... then lost them all.
Fried Green Tomatoes isn't just a fabulous movie.... it's also a delicious meal within itself. If being raised in the sticks doesn't teach you that it's perfectly acceptable to deep fry all of your veggies for consumption, then nothing ever will. Our tomato plants went insane this year and while they're gone now, they left us with quite a few green tomatoes to freeze for consumption in the winter. So, I spent three hours one day preparing them all and freezing them.... and then our freezer wet out. *eye roll*

-Watched my big brother turn 32 years old.
My brother love to tell me that I'm "creeping up on thirty" and gets real offended when I counter with "yeah, but once I'm there, you'll be in your mid-thirties." His birthday is in July and we was the big 3-2 this year. His last few birthdays have been real special to him now that he's a father. We fight and argue constantly and have for our entire lives, but it's so surreal to me that he's so grown up. Big brother or not, he'll always be a scrawny little kid to me.

-My hair is dark brown.... again.
I've been talking about making a "drastic" change to my hair for a couple of years now. I debated on whether or not to chop it all off and I even started using Sun-In to enhance the natural blonde in my hair (which is apparently alot), and swore that I was done dying it, because I didn't want to deal with it anymore. Well.... then I decided that I wanted my dark brown hair back. Call it the forever fifteen year old girl in me, but I just prefer my dark hair. And if I have to get it from a bottle, so be it. I guess that's what I get for dying it starting at twelve years old.

-I repainted our bathroom and now I'm almost 100% sure they should give me my own show on HGTV.
Eventually, I would like to redo our bathroom and take out the tub and install a walk-in shower (I hate taking baths, but LOVE taking showers), but until that day comes (which will probably be years from now), we gotta make the most of what we've got. For some reason the people we bought the house from had painted the bathroom a really dark brown/grey color, put in a giant dark brown mirror, and a wood vanity. Nothing matched and with the navy blue tiles that takes up half of the whole room, it looked pretty wonky. This past weekend I painted it white, put on new hinges, put up a medicine cabinet instead of plain mirror, and when I get home today I have to clean and do touch-ups. You wouldn't believe how much better it already looks.

World Goth Day is apparently a thing now?! Are we sure about this?!!?!

Y'all, they literally have a day for everything now. There's a "National Grilled Cheese Day" and "International Talk Like a Pirate Day" and are we really doing this? Is this where we're at?

If it is, I'm ok with it, because why in the hell wouldn't we want to have random days to just make us happy by celebrating random shit like "National Kazoo Day" and my personal favorite, "National Hobbit Day."

With all of that being said, apparently May 22 is "World Goth Day" and it's a day to celebrate all things "goth."

Do you like vampires and black and about every single weird stereotype that you can possibly think of (including but not limited to: heavy metal music, black eyeliner, pale skin, and probably chains, but I'm not really 100% on that one?!).

I wasn't what you would consider "goth" at any point in my life. I'm more "redneck" than anything I think, but I have always loved the color black. And yes, it's a color and don't say it isn't because it makes me want to kick you in the face.

My friend B. Davis always likes to say that I like my eyeliner as black as my soul and she's not far from wrong. Sure, I don't wear a whole lot of it now, but that's just pure laziness not a lack of love. Between the ages of 15-22, I didn't leave my house without a shit ton of black eyeliner on. My hair was always a mess and my clothes were "hoboish" at best, but damn did I always have that eyeliner on. Now, I'm simply just too lazy and get hot way too easily to deal with it.

When I was sixteen though, my highschool sweetheart had a thing for black too. Like, a real thing for black. He always wore black from his t-shirts and sweatshirt (the same sweatshirt.... that he always wore even though we lived in hot ass Florida and I almost had a heatstroke every single day) down to his bondage pants (yes, you heard me right) and shoes. Although, I'm pretty sure I remember his socks being white? I could be wrong though.

Anyways, usually people get a bad "rap" (did I use that right?) when they wear clothes like that (because people are a bag of dicks and assume shit that isn't even true), but literally any person that met him would know that his clothes might have been dark and weird, but they certainly didn't match his personality (he was exceptionally sweet) or the rest of him for that matter (he had baby blue eyes and blonde hair), he just liked the color black.

Because again, THAT IS A COLOR.

In honor of "World Goth Day" I shared a "throwback" photo of myself (at sixteen) when I decided to mess around and wear my boyfriend's clothes. Literally everything that I'm wearing in the picture was his (with the exception of the shirt.... it was mine) and clearly we all thought that we were way cooler than we actually were. (And by "we" I mean me, him, my friend Noodle, and her boyfriend).

Twenty-eight year old Katie just couldn't help but to call sixteen year old Katie out.
Oh, this is too hilarious.
Happy World Goth Day, y'all!!

Don't just remember today, remember with a piece of you.... everyday.

I read somewhere today, that "thirty-one percent of Americans, and forty-one percent of millenials, believe that two million or fewer Jews were killed in the Holocaust; the actual number is around six million. Forty-one percent of Americans, and sixty-six percent of millennials, cannot say what Auschwitz was. Only thirty-nine percent of Americans know that Hitler was democratically elected."

What I take away from that, is that we are apparently teaching and learning about the wrong things these days. How a moment in history as monumental and appalling as this is "being forgotten" or "fading from memory" is happening, I will never understand. How have we let something like this "go"? Sure, moving on must be done, but forgotten? I call bullsh*t.

Sadly, how the world seems to be going these days, it's entirely unsurprising to me. Appalling, yes. Shocking, no.

Nina Weil, 71978. But always, more than a number.

With that being said, today is a day of remembrance for those lost and/or affected from that horrible time. And it is because of them, that we must keep remembering and hoping and knowing and fighting. The next time you make a decision that affects more than just you, remember, this began  the same way.

Be kind. Think it through. And never forget.

I don't even know how to respond to that, so I'm gonna ignore it for hours.

I'm all for social media and lord knows that I post some random things, but you know what I've never done? I've never sent someone a message on social media and then thought to myself, "you know what would make this message the bomb? a shirtless selfie to accompany it."

I've also never thought it was a good idea to take naked (or half-naked) photos of myself for any reason and then be surprised when people I didn't "intend" to see them actually do see them. (Apparently people are doing that and are then surprised when someone breaks into their phones and shares said photos?)

However, that's not the case with everyone as when I woke up this morning I had a message (via FB Messenger) from a guy that I've known since I was like eight that said, "Soooooo bored" that he just so happened to attach to it a shirtless selfie of him laying on his bed.... and that's apparently his hobby, because that camera angle was just way too weird and deadset to just be a "fluke."

So, I guess my questions is.... is this what we're doing now?

Also, has this ever actually worked and someone just randomly send a shirtless photo back for absolutely no reason other than you received one in the first place?

Actually, you know what, I don't even have a question, because honestly I don't want answers.

Speaking of answers, apparently when someone sends you a shirtless selfie you're supposed to reciprocate? (A friend of mine informed me of this, I was painfully unaware). Which is probably why he didn't think my response of "Get Netflix. It helps boredom." was too funny. Personally, I found it to be hilarious and sage advice.... and that's probably why I'm considered to be sarcastic. Sorry dude, you shouldn't be texting people at almost eleven o'clock on a Thursday night anyways for any reason, let alone so they can see you shirtless.... ESPECIALLY when they didn't ask. (How old did that just make me sound?)

I say I'm spicy.... they say I'm a jerk.... we'll agree to disagree. TGIF, dude.