Tuesday, October 30, 2018

I finally sucked it up and chopped it off.... and I may do more next time.

What is hair to me?!!?! To you?!!?! To all of us?!!?!

I've always kind of believed that there was "power" in hair. And I know that sounds about as stupid as something can, but it was almost like if a woman had beautiful hair than she had a firm grasp on everything in her life. And if you're anything like me, you were taught that "long" hair meant "beautiful" hair.

Seriously.... when was the last time that you heard a story about a conqueress or sorceress or even "wanton" maiden in a cheap romance novel have short hair? It just wasn't a thing. Everytime I thought about cutting my hair, that's what I would think. I would think, well.... a woman can't be attractive without long hair, right?! People just relegate her to "ordinary."

And that's when I realized, that I was being 100% ridiculous and buying into a stereotype that I don't buy into for any single other thing. Why does a woman have to have long hair to feel beautiful.... or empowered.... or feminine?!!?!

The answer is simple.... they don't. And it's time we all stop thinking that they should.

Besides, Kelly Ripa has had short hair for the better part of the last twenty years AND SHIT HAS BEEN WORKING OUT REALLY WELL FOR KELLY RIPA.

I've been talking about chopping my hair off for the better part of two years, even going so far as to make pro/con lists and constantly reminding myself why I wanted to chop it all off. But, I would talk about all of the cute "short" hairstyles and think about it.... and then chicken out. I would make the decision to chop it all off immediately.... and then back out about ten minutes later. Almost a year ago, I had a teeny bit cut off and then instantly let it go crazy again, because I felt so "exposed." Honestly, I've talked about the love/hate relationship that I have with my hair pretty regularly.... mishaps and all.

But, on Sunday I finally had enough. And I went to get my haircut immediately so I couldn't back out of it. Do you ever get knots in your stomach and you don't know why? That totally happened to me. The nice lady who cut my hair (her name was Joyce and I should probably just go back to her for the rest of my hairstyling life) let me know about a inch would have to come off to get it to a healthy point. An inch.... not too much, right? It's true, an inch isn't that much. It's basically nothing at all in the grand scheme of things.... which is why I told her to cut it off this much (and I pointed to where I wanted my hair to fall). She confirmed that I was in fact not on LSD and knew how much hair I would be "losing" and I confirmed that's what I wanted. Y'all, I had her cut ten inches of my hair off.

TEN. F*CKING. INCHES. OF. HAIR. GOOONNNNNNEEEEEEE.

That's not counting the layers that are now roaming free on my head. I can't even stress to you how much better it feels. It's still kind of weird, because I keep grabbing for it when I wash it and stuff, but I don't regret chopping it off one bit. It's just a little bit past my shoulders, which is not as short as I have previously discussed, but I figured ten inches gone (it was touching my butt) was a hell of a start and if I continue to like it I could always have a little more taken off each time I go back.

Sure, at first I had all of those insane/unfabricated fears creep into my head, like does a dude like to run his fingers through short hair? Do you know how many guys run their fingers through my hair? I'll go ahead and let you know the answer is.... NONE. Dude, even when I was dating or in a relationship (days that I certainly don't miss, but people keep liking to bring up on occasion) guys couldn't run their fingers through my hair. Seriously, have you ever seen my hair?!!?!

We're talking Monica Geller circa 2003 The One in Barbados Part I.

You know what? I'm fine with that. Why I have stopped taking a man's opinion into account for every other aspect of my life, but not this one, I'll never know.... yet, here we are. I would say "living the dream" but that feels a little bit dramatic even for me.

Yes, it's a learning curve as far as styling, but I'm getting the hang of it more and more each time. I've decided I have to put a little more effort into my appearance.... for no one other than myself. Because it makes me feel a little better to look a little better. Or, if not better, at least like there was some sort of effort. Besides, Dani is officially trusting me with more responsibilities (and money) at work (she has been for quite awhile), so I should probably try to not look homeless or like I'm coming off of a four-day bender at least two or three days a week.

To this end I say, if you want long hair- have long hair. If you want short hair- have short hair. If you want to shave your head- then shave your damn head and rock that shit, because you got this. And if you're me, you'll try to get out of your own head and know that hair doesn't mean shit and you're you no matter what's on top of your f*cking head.

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