Friday, January 27, 2017

Nothing like some Riot Gear on a Sunday morning.

This past Sunday (1/22) a guy in our neighborhood decided to act a fool. In fact, I'm pretty sure that he wasn't acting and is in all actuality, a fool.

Momma and I went out to run a couple of errands Sunday morning (around 9:00?) and as soon as I stepped out onto our porch and turned to help her and lock our door I had to stop and say.... "Moooommmmmm??!"

There was a policeman parked in the middle of our street blocking off access in/out of our road and there were two other policemen standing in the yard of the first house on our block.... and that's when I seen it.

"It" being a policeman in full. on. riot. gear.

I mean, full on riot gear. We're talking Glenn Rhee (#imaginaryhusband) circa season3-4 of The Walking Dead. Dude, was legit.

We got into our car, I turned around in the driveway across from our home and had to drive the back way out of our neighborhood.... why? Well, that's a funny story that really has absolutely no humor in it at all. Turns out, a woman lives in the house that was "sectioned off" and her ex-boyfriend had shown up that morning. She had broken up with him and he had been in jail or some kind of asylum for awhile.... and when he showed up at her home, she informed him that they would most definitely not ever be getting back together (just like T. Swift).

Apparently he didn't like what she had to say, so he left and went to his own house.... where he picked up an automatic weapon.... and went back to her house.... and started popping off shots in the yard when she wouldn't open the door. Someone called the police and by the time they got there he had somehow gotten into her home and barricaded himself and her inside.

Enter SWAT and me humming the "Bad Boys/Cops" theme song.

The police managed to get everyone out of the situation safely and arrest the offender (thanks, guys!), but then they asked him why he would do something like this, especially with just getting out of jail and/or the asylum (we're talking like same day or very next morning) and his response was something like:

"She wouldn't let me in or take me back, so I went home and got my gun and came back, to show her how much I love her."

Umm, what?! Never once have I thought to myself, "you know, if only that guy loved me, he would hold me hostage in my own home with an assault rifle." The dude has serious damage upstairs and I for one am glad that the situation was diffused without anyone being hurt. And no, this isn't some kind of "guns are evil" post, I am not "anti-gun" or anything like that. I am however, "anti-stupid" and it's people like that guy that give everybody else a bad name.

You know what they say about those "one bad apple in the whole damn bunch?" Perfect example. Luckily, as I was saying, no one was hurt and he's back locked away so he can't hurt her or anyone else.... once again, thanks to Office Rhee (and no, that's not his real name.... at least I don't think it is, but just go with it) and his friends!

People are certainly getting crazier by the day.... and you just can't escape the crazy.

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Ever think you're prepared for something and you really have no clue?!

"I live in two worlds, one is a world of books."- Rory Gilmore. (I technically live in three.... because tv).

If you ask any person that knows me well, I mean truly knows me, they will tell you that I am and always have been a bit of a bookworm. Side note: Or, anybody that's ever helped me move will tell (because books are damn heavy). I've always preferred books and tv to real human interaction.... and I'm not even sorry about it. While I have a few people that I love spending time with, for as long as I can remember, I have just chosen a fictional world.

And really, doesn't the fact that it's your own world constitute it being real? I'm thinking yes.

It may seem odd (I've been called that for as long as I can remember, as well) or even crazy (#runsinthefamily), but to me, it's perfectly normal and acceptable. It's also perfectly normal and acceptable (for the most part) to those I am close to, because while they can get my attention (because love), chances are at some point, I'm going to zone out.

I can look you directly in the face, watch/listen to every word that you are saying.... and have no actual clue what you said. Ever heard of "uh huh" people? You know the ones, no matter what the situation is, they just kind of respond with a half-hearted "uh huh?" I'm 75% of an "uh huh" person.

I pay attention to the important things, but mostly, I'm just responding, because the other person thinks I am listening and needs a response. Chances are I'm performing Meghan Trainor or Bon Jovi (yes, my musical tastes are very eclectic) or winning a completely ridiculous argument (#allidoiswinwinwin) that will literally never happen in my head.... but they'll usually never know the difference.

With all of that being said, there are times that I catch myself off guard in the fictional world.

Pride and Prejudice. Synopsis: Set primarily in the county of Hertfordshire, about 50 miles outside of London, in the early nineteenth century. The story centers around Elizabeth Bennet and the Bennet family (Mr. and Mrs. Bennet and Elizabeth's four sisters: Jane, Mary, Kitty, and Lydia).

First time I read it: When I was between 12-13. What caught me off guard: It's easy as a woman who was born in 1990 (how old am I getting again?!) to look around herself and see the injustices and disbelief even in the time in which we live.... but the way it was a couple of hundred years ago? If you didn't marry, and marry well, you were nothing. Literally, nothing. (We've come a long way, ladies). Umm, what? Elizabeth and her sisters (for the most part) have plenty to offer besides cleaning house and reproductive purposes. Did people in that time care? Absolutely not, don't say such ridiculous things, you crazy girl.

The Bell Jar. Synopsis: Set in 1953, main character Esther Greenwood tells her story of finishing college for her academic year, winning a one-month paid internship at Ladies Day magazine in New York City, the mental breakdown that she experiences, and finally, the beginnings of her recovery.

First time I read it: When I was 15. What caught me off guard: I never thought that a book could make you depressed. I knew that you could be sad, and thinking about it could always make you sad.... but depressed? Let me be clear, the book itself did not "make me" depressed. You see, I went through some things in my middle teens-on and I just really wasn't in the best place emotionally. When you're not in the best/most healthy place possible, don't read The Bell Jar. Lesson learned.

Wuthering Heights. Synopsis: Set between the years of the 1770s and 1802, a Yorkshire farmer (and owner of Wuthering Heights), brings home an orphan from Liverpool. The boy (Heathcliff) is raised with the Earnshaw children, Hindley and Catherine. Catherine loves (and falls in love with) Heathcliff, but Hindley hates him (he's jealous of his fathers affection for Heathcliff).

First time I read it: When I was 14. What caught me off guard: First things first, Hindley was a little asshole, and Catherine was a snob. I wasn't prepared for the realization that matters and feelings could go on and never be resolved. It was the first time that I truly thought ahead and I think a piece of my thought process is still shaped by this book. Are you removing and/or pushing someone out of your life? If you are, you better be completely sure that they're worth removing and you won't regret it, because you might not get that back.

The Fault in Our Stars. Synopsis: The story follows Hazel Grace Lancaster, as she battles cancer. Not only is she trying to live her life as a normal 16-year-old girl (enter Gus Waters), but she is also struggling with what it will be like for her parents after she dies.

First time I read it: When I was 24. What caught me off guard: Gus.... dear, sweet, lovable, amazing Gus (do they make guys like Gus Waters?). Following through Hazel's battle with cancer is heart wrenching to say the least, but Gus being the one that ends up no longer being in remission and slowly (and agonizingly) passing away? It's like a punch in the gut and getting hit with a truck all at once. As a person, sometimes we look at an illness that someone else has and we feel horrible for them.... but not always do we understand that they are in fact a person living with this. We all want to be optimistic, but sometimes, in real life, people don't win the fight. Sometimes it catches us all off guard, and not only do people have to deal with that, sometimes it breaks us. And that's ok, because sometimes we get broken and have to learn to put the pieces back together (like Hazel).

Not everybody gets a fairy-tale ending, but if we're lucky, maybe we can all live the fairy-tale itself.

Friday, January 20, 2017

We're recruiting for our Rebellion.

Remember, remember the fifth of November.... calm down y'all, I'm just playing. I mean, I am, but I'm also very serious. GOT YOU, AGAIN. I'm very rarely ever "very and/or completely serious" and if I am, some serious shit is going down.

This morning at work, we decided to take part in a rebellion.... and no, this has absolutely nothing to do with the 2017 Presidential Inauguration (although if you ask social media, they disagree.... because they apparently know more of what I'm thinking than I do). No, no matter which "side" you are on today (happy/sad/confused/devastated/ecstatic), there is no ignoring the fact that today is a serious day and we are about to have a new president.

I have decided to ignore all things political today (mostly because I'm exhausted from hearing politics for the last 1.5 years) and play with toys/use my imagination to create a fictional world for which me and all of my loved ones/friends/all the dogs in the world will reside.

Because mature.

And also, we had an entire van full of Nerf guns and laser tag. What are two grown women, one almost twenty-seven, the other coming up on the eighth anniversary of her twenty-ninth birthday supposed to do? They should probably just let well enough alone and wait for the toys to be taken to the neighborhood kids....

Or, they could pose for pictures and bring tiny little pea-shooters into their office to screw with everybody that comes in contact with them for the entire work day. Pictures and fun, it is!! Afterall, I've watched Rambo four nights in a row (#noregrets), so I'm pretty hyped up to be holding such a massive piece of heavy (fake) artillery.

I tell you, when I was a little girl my imagination ran wild. There was nothing that I couldn't accomplish and some of the things that I came up with would probably make a very exciting sci-fi/fantasy movie (Side note: I totally thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem in my adult than it actually is). As an adult, my imagination really hasn't slowed down any.

It's quite distracting at times. I am always rising above scenarios that will literally never happen (when am I ever going to need to know how to not only win a dance off, but also diffuse a bomb, and beat Bobby Flay?), but I constantly win arguments that don't even make sense.... unless they're in my head, that is.

The point is, when someone is ready to indulge in my crazy, I go for it. Don't worry, we're not doing anything dangerous (unless you count shooting Nerf guns while listening to gangsta rap dangerous).... and we're only shooting our two warehouse guys and Dani's husband, so everything is good around these parts. Also? It's Friday. And we love Friday around these parts.

It's my second favorite F word.

Thursday, January 19, 2017

His characters have been my friends since I was a little girl.

I'm extremely busy today (#workflowouttheass).... but I wanted to stop in for just a minute today to talk about a little something (and because I have about ten minutes for lunch to spare(ish) at this moment). Is it important? Of course not.... is it random? Of course it is.

And it's about my main man.... Johnny Depp.

What up, Johnny Boy?! I'm just kidding (kind of). The People's Choice Awards (43rd- 2017) were last night.... and since I don't have cable right at this moment (long story, but do you know how much cable costs?! We're about to be just a WiFi/Netflix household), I learned of the winners via Instagram and the Yahoo news page this morning.

See the Complete Winner's List.

Quite a few of my faves won big (yes, I watch a lot of tv.... and no, I'm not even a little bit sorry about it). To name a few: Me Before You won Favorite Dramatic Movie, Fuller House won Favorite Premium Comedy Series (#TeamSteve and #TeamJimmyGibbler), Melissa McCarthy won Favorite Comedic Movie Actress, The Big Bang Theory won Favorite TV Comedy Series, Criminal Minds (even though I only watch old episodes, because I love Reid, but Hotch was my #2 guy) won Favorite TV Crime Drama, Bates Motel won Favorite Cable TV Drama, Baby Daddy won Favorite Cable TV Comedy, Kevin Hart won Favorite Comedic Movie Actor, The Walking Dead won Favorite Cable Sci-Fi/Fantasy TV Show, and....

Johnny Depp won Favorite Movie Icon.

And rightly so, because he is amazing and anyone who disagrees with me, is allowed to have that opinion and be wrong. Now, he's been in the news/trending the last few months pertaining to his divorce and domestic abuse allegations.... I do not agree with domestic abuse, either way. I don't think a male should beat on a woman, and I don't believe that it's ok for a woman to beat on a man.... this particular story? Wherever you stand on it, that's you, but personally, I've never believed the allegations. Yes, I am on the side of the accused, because I don't believe the accuser.

I think domestic violence is a horrible/terrible thing, and I hope those that need help, get the help that they so rightly need and deserve.... however, like with most things, I believe that there are two sides to every story and I believe that some people lie at times for their own benefit and personal gain.

With that being said, his speech last night was amazing and gracious (just like him).

While accepting the favorite movie icon award at the end of the show, Depp told the audience:

"I came here for one reason tonight and one reason only. I came here for you, the people, who through whatever good times or bad, you know, have stood by me, trusted me. Thank you."

He added, "You've very graciously invited me here tonight. I appreciate that very much-you have no idea how much I appreciate it. I was very deeply affected by the kindness of your recognition and by the well wishes to my family and to myself, which is why it's especially meaningful to me to be here in front of you and say thank you, and tell you that I truly feel that need to thank you because in all honesty we all know that none of us, especially me, wouldn't be standing up here if it wasn't for you tonight."

He ended the show with a shout-out to his late mother (who passed away in May 2015) saying, "Give 'em hell, Betty Sue!"


Tuesday, January 17, 2017

If. If. If. If. If.

There could be some kind of motivational quote for "if".... but I can't find it (just "what if" quotes), so I'm just going to spew random things that I probably need to do (or have done), but I have limited motivation for the day.... be gentle.

If cable doesn't quit being so expensive: we're going to have to turn all of it off and live like it's 1986 (i.e. no cable, wifi, or telephone).... oh, wait! We've already done that. Momma told them to turn our service off (without warning) and like I said, it's 1986. Except we have a blu-ray player.... but no wifi, so you can't stream anything. We can watch blu-rays/dvds, and I own Blue Collar Comedy, so.... win? Hopefully we'll find a service with cheap wifi and get it hooked back up, so we can stream Netflix and such again, but cable? That's a negatory, Ghost Rider.

If I weren't such a chicken shit: I would chop every single bit of my hair off and start rocking one of those short little pixie cuts (I think?) like Lauren Cohan. Say what you want about The Walking Dead (or her character on Supernatural/The Vampire Diaries.... apparently people have a whole lot to say about those?), but that girl can rock some short hair. Don't get me wrong, she's a beautiful gal and can pull of long tresses too, but short hair? She owns that shit.

If today were a friend of mine's birthday: (it is), I would leave said friend a birthday message along the lines of this: Happy Birthday!! You should be told that you're special every single day.... but on this day especially. I could never tell you what it is I actually want to tell you, because even I don't know what it would be, but I just wanted to let you know that you're thought of on this day.... one day of many. It's so very comforting to know that no matter how old I get, and however many old age habits hit me in the face, that you will reach them all just a little bit before me. I hope you have the most fantastic day that you could ever have and that it's full of love, fun, laughter, friends, and family. You deserve it all, wish you were here.... Happy Birthday. (P.s. Momma says Happy Birthday, she loves you, and she misses you too.).

If I remembered anything about my banking system: (I don't unless I look about a million things up) I would do my taxes just so they would be done and over with. Dani taught me how to do my own taxes three or four years ago and needless to say it's saved me $200+ a year doing them myself. Just call me Han, because I'm Solo(ing) it on this one. Did that sound as strange to read as it did when I said it n my head?

If it was later in the week: I wouldn't currently be calling Tuesday "day two of the hostage situation." Somehow it's been an incredibly long week.... and it's only Tuesday. I want it to be later, but what I want doesn't really seem to help.... therefore, here we are. I didn't want to get out of bed this morning and I almost fell back asleep after I turned my alarm off. I was trying to will myself awake.... and had very little to no "will."

Sunday, January 15, 2017

I hate myself for loving this song as much as I do.

I mean, I really, really love it. Damn you, Justin Bieber. I swear, first person to call me a "Belieber" is getting punched in the face.... or something as equally dramatic as that.

Have you ever just heard a song and before you even think about who could be singing it, or if it goes with your "taste" in music, the first thing that comes to your mind is- "now this song, I can get on board with?"

That's usually how I end up with the majority of music that I like. I hear it once and before forming any outside opinions, I form my own. I think that's how it should be. (P.s. Chances are, my Momma probably doesn't like you, because she most definitely doesn't like everyone- and I'm always better sleeping on my own, because I have a dog partner and night terrors.).

Music isn't supposed to be for other people, it's supposed to be for yourself. And if a song makes you smile, or happy, or anything associated with those things, I say go for it. To hell with what other people think (the same goes for your clothes and other life choices). Do it for you, no one else.

(Isn't that the entire point of a "guilty pleasure" song?! I'm looking at you Call Me Maybe).

However, I'm not going to lie, when I first heard this song (and loved it) and found out that it was a Justin Bieber song.... I kind of wanted to kick my own ass. How could I not? The kid is a total tool and I could feel the old soul/Jim Morrison conscience within myself slowly melting into oblivion....

But then I remembered, Jim did it for himself.... and so shall I. Do I still love this song even though I shouldn't? Hell yes, I do. Am I going to continue to sing it every single time it comes on the radio without shame? Hell yes, I am. Am I going to broadcast it to the rest of the world and start comparing Justin Bieber's musical ability to that of Jack White and Glenn Frey?! Hell to the no, I'm not. I like one of his songs, I'm not trying to make a leap like that.... I have the legs of a corgi dog.

And he is no Jack White.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Well, that was interesting.

I didn't think anything much was going to happen yesterday (01/11). Afterall, it was a random Wednesday and there are no holidays until next week (MLK, Jr. Day 01/16). The only plans that I had were the fact that we needed to go to the grocery store after I got home from work (which we did and now I want to go home and eat all of it) and then I was going to cook supper and we were going to finish watching Fuller House (we've been binge watching, #teamsteve forever, more on that some other time).

But then, it happened. What happened?! Stupidity. Stupidity is what happened.

No worries, it wasn't my own stupidity that happened, nor was it the stupidity of anyone I know and/or love. No, this was all on a complete stranger that could've hurt and/or potentially killed someone, all because he made a series of horrible decisions that culminated and later exploded in a fury of dumbassery. (And yes, we are currently pretending that 'dumbassery' is a word).

Let me start from the beginning.

Yesterday around 1-1:30 (I can't remember the exact time, but I know that Dani and Chris had just returned from lunch) and everything was quiet. It usually is in our office, the only noise you can hear for the most part is the radio. I was standing in front of Dani's desk looking at some paperwork when all of the sudden I heard the loudest crack/boom that I've ever heard in my entire life, our building shook, all our electricity shut down, and I immediately started smelling something burning.

I ran downstairs and outside and saw Dani and Tony standing there clearly befuddled by what they were seeing. And when I turned the corner, I understood why.

As shared via my social media: "Well, that was interesting.... the dumbass that was driving the red car was fleeing from police and managed to not only wipe out after ramping the RR tracks (Vin Diesel, he is not) and hit the telephone pole, but also hit another car.... and tried to make a run for it. A very short run, as all of those nice policemen that you see in this picture were there and he rethought that decision. Wisest thing that he's done all day. As far as we can tell, thankfully, everyone is ok. Only at this job."

According to reports the man that was fleeing had robbed a bank (possibly two) and had fled to the interstate and for some reason had decided to turn off of said interstate to a few side roads (he's obviously never seen a movie about criminals in his entire life). He came down the last road he was traveling at 120 mph and hit the RR tracks doing 110 mph. He then proceeded to get out of the car to run on foot, looked over his shoulder and saw about thirty cop cars an probably as many weapons pointed at him.... and he dropped straight to the ground.

Now, you say what you want to about policemen/women.... I understand there have been many things that have happened involving police officers and I am not for one minute saying that there are not people that abuse their place of power behind a badge. However, I am saying that I believe that while there are those abuses of power and corruption, there are also good people out there that are outweighing the bad and trying to keep people safe and help them.

And those people have earned my respect and gratitude. They are out there risking their lives to protect ours and they are doing their jobs. Those people deserve to go home to their families safely each and everyday.... unfortunately, there are people making decisions like this that are preventing that from happening. This could have turned out so much worse and I'm beyond glad that it didn't.

Now I ask you, what was this dude's endgame? You're not John Dillinger and this isn't 1920.... you're going to get caught. One way or another, because I'm sorry, but I just do not believe that he is smarter than every other person out there (as proven). Our streets were pretty busy for awhile with people having to turn and detour and police/paramedics at the scene (and yes, he totally blew that transformer and cracked the telephone pole), but it was much calmer by the time we got off of work.

And now, you would never know anything happened if you didn't see it firsthand or on the news.

Monday, January 9, 2017

Drop it like it's.... eye drops.

Today is my first day back to work after a few weeks of hitting and missing. Don't get me wrong, I came to work when I was supposed to, but for two weeks in a row we had four day weeks (Christmas and New Years holidays!!) and last week I took off Thursday and Friday, because Momma had to have eye surgery.

No worries, she's doing pretty good and the doctors are hopeful that her sight in her (left) eye will improve significantly.

This whole process has involved a lot of drops.... eye drops. There are, I think, six different kinds. Four drops fours times a day, one drop three times a day, and one drop two times a day.... it's a good thing that her doc wrote the process down, because it's a whole bunch to remember! And that's what came after, before the surgery there was just waiting and being nervous, no drops.

We were worried because it was the first time that she had to be put under full anesthetic, she had only had local up until that point, but she came through it like a champ (and only puked once in the car on the way home). Now it's all about follow up doctor's appointments, eye drops out the wazoo, and patches at night.... because that's just how we roll.

The last four days were full of naps, meds, tv watching, Tayder snuggling, randomness while she was napping and I couldn't (anesthesia does that to a person).... and let's be honest, none of us hated it (except the doctor part).

I've been pretty busy today, not horrible, and all I really want to do is take a nap and eat some junk food.... and watch The Walking Dead, but that's besides the point. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some computer updating and typing/emailing to do. Not that I want to, but just a few more hours and then I'm home free.... until tomorrow.