The 500. What do I have to say about that?

(My biggest anniversary yet).

I realized this morning that the next post I have, will make 500. Seriously, 500 posts that I've rambled and let lay my sarcasm upon. It's almost weird. Usually I lose interest in things fairly quickly, but writing has never been one of those things. At least, not when I'm writing about the things that I want to be. I think that's why my posts are usually all over the place. They range from my family to movies and everything else in between.

In order to celebrate my "500 posts" I wanted to do a lengthy post consisting of all of my favorites from this time period, and then it hit me. What hit me? The fact that I would have to start in April 2013 and work my way up to June 2016, that's what. I would have to go through over three years of my own rambling, and my inherent laziness overcame me. I know, I'm ridiculous. And I'm good with it.

So, instead of a long ass post consisting of ones that already exist (you can read through them all, if you would like to), I figured I would commemorate it by acknowledging the fact that it's the 500th and share a picture. Because pictures make everything better. Usually. As you can tell, Tayder was extremely focused on being happy for me. He's a real gem that one. Hopefully, I'll have another 500 and many more after that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some celebrating to do.

Where's my cake?!

Is it Monday or Tuesday?!

(I'm highly confused by life right now).

By the way, I know that it's Tuesday, but let's be honest here- IT FEELS LIKE A MONDAY. Amirite? I am. It hasn't been a bad day or anything like that, I'm just a bit thrown off with having the last three and a half days off (Dani and I..... and Tony..... got off at eleven on Friday). You know, because our company is closed on all government holidays (Memorial Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc).

And this isn't even a Mmmmooonnnnnddddaaaayyyyyyyy........... type of day, it just doesn't feel like it's Tuesday. Or something like that. Mostly, it's just confusing, because you have to remember to do all of your Tuesday stuff today. And now, I have to quit talking about how weird today feels, because I'm just confusing myself more and more.

I have to mow grass when I get home from work today. I mowed it on Friday and while it would probably be good for another day or two, we have severe thunderstorm warnings out for tonight and all day tomorrow. Which means that by the time the grass dried out enough to cut, it would be like I was playing a game of Jumanji. And while I love Robin Williams (and that movie), I don't feel like I would be real good at that. So, I better not push it.

Can I day drink today? Yes? No? Get back to me on that.  

What would Jimmy Dugan say?

(Good thing she plays softball).

As I said earlier, Solae is playing softball again this year. She played last year, but this year has been so much better. Well, not weather wise, but everything else wise. The weather this year has sucked (for the most part) on a whole other level. In all fairness though, it's not just the softball season that's been affected by this weather. If we're being honest, most things have been affected by it. Mostly, I've had to redo a shit ton of yard work. Because hail. So there's that.

Aside from that though, the kid has had a pretty good season. They've lost a couple of games, but to me, that's just a part of learning how to deal with "the game." They're still young and learning the parts that they excel the most in. Solae seems to be a great catcher to me (but she hates it, so she won't attempt to "hone her skills" as one would say), she enjoys being on first base, but the coach usually ends up putting her on third.

This past Friday their team had a game on the "fancy field" (it has lights and they announce their names like an actual pro game) at eight o'clock. And I know what you're thinking, and you're correct in that thinking, I totally didn't want to be out that late on a Friday night (because I like my house and hate people), but we all piled up and went anyway.

And it was cold, and rainy (Shantel was freezing us all by being in a teeny tiny dress that looked more like a cute bikini cover to me), and miserable, but she was beyond excited and they played one hell of a game. They ended up scoring and winning a total of 20-9. They would have won by more than that, but the coaches insisted on playing one last inning so their team had a chance to "catch up" and "win." And most of the girls were immediately cocky and I had to knock them down a couple of pegs by telling them to quit strutting around, because that other team could very well beat the snot out of them with a whole other inning. And once the other team made a run, they got serious.

But Momma and I rode home with Aunt Poot (we rode to the game with Aunt Mary), and she stopped and we got Taco Bell for supper, so I ask you- who's the real winner here?! That would be me. 

How is it only Thursday?!

(This week has been ridiculously long).

It's been one of those weeks that seems to go on for days upon days and every morning when my alarm has gone off, I haven't wanted to get up and get going. This morning, I actually tried to hide underneath the covers and will the time and alarm away. Unfortunately it didn't work and I had to get up, but you'll be happy to know that Tayder felt well enough to stay under the blanket and snooze while I got everything ready.

I don't know what it is, really. It probably has something to do with the fact that it has been perfect sleeping weather for the past two weeks. Everyday it has either rained, or has been that real cool kind of day that you just want to open the windows and curl up with your pup, watch a little tv, and take a snooze or two. Or, maybe that's just me. Either way, do you think anyone would notice if I hid in the bathroom at work and took a nap? Yes? No? Get back to me on that.

I've been so off here lately that I've owned the movie- The Revenant- for like three weeks and have yet to watch it. I know, I know, you're very worried right about now. Just so you know, I am to. (It finally won Leo his Oscar!!). It's just unnatural for me to be around a Leonardo DiCaprio movie and not watch it. If it was Johnny Depp, I would be twice as worried.

I've even tried to eat my way through this. I informed a guy at work the other day that I wanted to eat an entire bag of Snickers bars and when he asked me why I would want to do that, I had no choice but to reply- "Because I'm just not me when I'm hungry?!" Shit is getting real. All I want to do is put on some comfy clothes, eat a bunch of junk food, cuddle with my puppy dog, watch crap tv (or you know- The Revenant), and drink wine and NyQuil, and take my allergy meds like they're never going to make it again. (Don't worry, only the NyQuil so I can sleep).

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go nap. And by nap, I mean never get to effing sleep ever again. Good thing I wouldn't get all dramatic about it or anything. WHERE IN THE HELL IS FRIDAY WHEN I NEED IT?!!

You never realize how many people you truly loathe until you get a new number.

(I knew I didn't like people, but damn).

This past week Momma and I had to get a couple new phones. I say "new phones", but really it was the same kind of phones, just on my own plan. We had previously been on someone else's plan, but as that old saying goes- Plans. Change. And since "plans change" I got just snarky enough to go and get our own and be done with the whole cluster fuck ordeal. It's easier and let's be honest, the easier my life is the more I like it. It gives me more time to watch reruns of Mama's Family and It's Always Sunny that way.

And even though I wanted to do all of this, the thought of having to give out my new number and try to memorize two new ones was just a giant pain in the ass. That is, until I realized that I had been presented with a unique opportunity to "lose people" so to say. You never really realize how many people you have grown to dislike (or have always disliked and were just trying to be nice..... even though that's completely the opposite of every single one of your characteristics) until you have GET to decide who you want to have a new form of contacting you.

And I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Uhh, duh Katie, there's always social media where people can find you." Umm, just delete/block those bitches. Or quit social media (and stop thinking that you can't live without social media, you can, I've seen it done).

I've had the same number for over three years. Do you know how many bitches and douche canoes can acquire your number after three years? If you don't, let me go ahead and tell you- IT'S A LOT. I've had the same guy for the entire three years calling my phone and asking for Boo Boo in a hushed tone. And to this day I still don't know what in the hell dude wanted with Boo Boo, but he obviously didn't care enough to get his real phone number. I guess we'll just never know how the Boo Boo / Mysterious Phone Man saga ended. I don't know how I'll ever move on.

So, there I was going through my old phone and transferring numbers of people I liked so I could text them with the new number and what I figured would be a menial task of eliminating three or four numbers ended up being over half of my contact list. You ever have those people in your life that you think- "You're not even worth being on a contact list"? And then you think about deleting them out of your phone like as soon as you delete their number they no longer exist..... like, at all.

I AM LIVING THE DREAM, BABY.

And I must say, it's a mighty fine dream to be living. I'm not trying to sound like too much of an asshole (because boy has that ship sailed..... a long effing time ago), but I didn't even keep some of the family numbers that I had. You know those people. The ones that you're technically related to so you feel some sort of obligation to them for some unknown reason, even though neither of you like each other. Well, I no longer feel that obligation nor do I have the means of backtracking. I deleted them from (my) existence. Not going to lie, it felt kind of powerful. And the only way that I could backtrack would be for me to track down someone who did have their number and we all know that I just don't have the follow through with that. Not even close.

And those "friends" that you feel obligation to, because you've known each other for so long or you've "been through some shit" together? Guess what? Those bitches are out of here to, because I got on a role and started to get a little power hungry and felt like I was about two steps from becoming a super villain, so I just quit while I was ahead.

Here's how real it got for a minute; I actually sent a FB message to a guy that is my friend, to ask him if we even still liked each other at this point in our lives. It went something like- Me: "Hey, do we even like each other? Like, on a scale of 1-10 how much would you rate the amount you want to murder me and hack me into little pieces on a daily basis?" Him: "Good morning to you to sweetheart. What did you say? Hacking?" Clearly he's an asshole that is equally as sarcastic as I am..... so he needed the number.

And I have like four friends that made the cut. Throw in a few family members and that's about the extent of all that. And honestly even that's probably too many, because the older I get the more I really can't stand people. People are just the worst. But you know what isn't the worst? Having a minimal contact list and not having to deal with those people.

Cheers.

She made me feel incredibly old.

(Good thing I don't give a crap).

I have never had a problem with age. With mine or anyone elses. I don't put a great deal of thought into it and I'm still in the mindset that you are as old as you feel..... in your heart. Personally, I've always been a bit of an old lady. Everything about me is a bit older than I actually am. The way I dress, how I wear my hair, even my feelings towards everyday life things. And I'm good with it.

And when you have this mindset, you get to laugh at the things that should make you feel off about your age, but no matter what, you always find more humor than anything there. Case in point, the conversation that I had with my ex-boyfriend's little sister (via FB).

That whole Final Destination thing? Well, that would probably start with her older brother (my ex-boyfriend). Technically there are three of them, because they both have an older brother, and while we spent time together, I spent far more time with Little C. I mean, I call her Little C, because to me she always will be..... even though she is very much a grown woman now. When her brother and I met, we were friends. We were good friends, but friends nonetheless. But even when I was "friend zoned" (again- another day), I met his entire family and spent time with them. His girlfriend didn't, but I did. I know, it is as weird as that just sounded.

I spent quite a bit of time with his mother and little sister, because they would come over to our house to pick him up and eventually Little C just wanted to hang out. She's about five years younger than me, so when I met her, she was about ten years old or so. After her brother and I started dating, we spent even more time together. I even went on vacation with their family while Momma was on vacation with Grammy and Aunt Linda. We went snorkeling, swimming, boating, and about a million other water related things (we lived in Florida). When we came back, I ended up staying one more night with them at their house. Momma didn't get back until the next morning and while I insisted that I would be fine home alone, his mother wasn't having it.

So, I stayed the night and we (Little C, her brother, and I) decided to watch a movie while their mom and step-dad went out. They ordered us pizza and specifically stated that Little C was to pick the movie..... nothing inappropriate..... or scary. Seemed easy enough. Next thing I know I came back to the living room (I answered the door for pizza) and asked Little C what movie she had picked since it was already going through previews. She told me it was a surprise and I let it go. Apparently her brother knew what she had picked, but thought that she was old enough to handle it. After I found out what it was and tried to stop it, I was immediately out voted, because they both wanted to see it.

So, there we sat watching Final Destination 3(?). And after all was said and done, nothing seemed unusual. A few hours later I fell asleep on the couch and about an hour later I woke up, because I felt someone staring at me. It was Little C..... in the middle of the night.... asking if she could sleep on the couch with me so she could make sure that I was "ok" and "not scared." I of course caved and we both managed to fit on the couch, but to this day she's never fully recovered.

She still hates those movies with a passion. And I still love her little punkass.

Opening Day.

(No, I didn't join an athletic team).

This past Saturday was Solaes first official softball game. You know, the first one from this season. She's no longer playing at the field that she did last year (thank everything that is holy, because that place sucked), but instead has joined a new league. And her team name? The Kentucky Wildcats. I know, I never would've guessed that would happen either.

Read here for more Softball escapades. 

But she seems very happy with her decision and is enjoying the game a lot more this season. I think it's mostly, because she's more comfortable and confident this go around. I can't believe that she's growing up so fast. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was carrying her around and I was slipping her candy (don't tell her mother). And now, she's twelve and completely outgrew me at least 2.5 years ago. TWELVE. Luckily for her, she can still look at me with those big ole cow eyes of hers and she usually gets what she wants just like she did when she was little.

The games are supposed to last around 1 hour and 45 minutes (according to what her mother told us last night) and in that time she managed to make a few good plays, she seems to be friends with a couple of her teammates, and she slid into home base!! You might not think that's a big deal considering a lot of people slide in softball/baseball, but trust me when I say that her doing it is a big deal.

Her team brought home the win: 17-10. And let me tell you, she couldn't have been happier. The only thing that bothered her was the fact that she made one swing that was so low to the ground it looked like they were trying to play kickball or something. But she of course missed (shitty pitch) and her mother got all up in her grill about it.

Don't worry, when we got into the truck, I made sure to tell her that she is still new to all of this (the people from the softball season last year didn't teach anybody anything; they really do suck), and shit happens. She'll have another chance, even the greats have swung at pitches that they shouldn't have and they're just fine. It happens. She seemed to feel much better after our talk, and she hugged me extremely tight. I didn't mind.

Her mother also got hit in the head/face with a softball and nobody even bothered to shout out a "heads up" or "sorry." I think that might be part of the reason that she was so grumpy. That, and the fact she had to work in the concession stand for two hours. And it's not like they tricked or anything, it's just that each child has to have one person work the concession stand for them for two hours or they get benched the next game (that is totally unfair). She kept trying to talk me into doing it, but I told her it wasn't going to kill her or anything, she was going to be perfectly fine. I don't think she believed me though, because she mean mugged me and  told me I sucked. I'm good with it though.

She's supposed to have her second game tonight, but with all of this rain, I don't know if that is going to happen. It's been coming down since at least two this morning and is supposed to keep on all day/ evening. I guess we shall see. Wish us (mostly her) luck.   

I just do not care for this.

(I'm having flashbacks of the chicken pox).

I currently have poison ivy. And sumac. And I am not at all happy about this little incident. Call it dramatic if you want to, but I'm pretty sure that this is ruining my entire life. I can only wear certain things to work to help it "breathe" because apparently air is what helps it heal and leave and heat is what makes it multiply. And when I'm home, I'm pretty much just in a really baggy tshirt and pair of boxers, because I'm covered in goopy medicine that I'm pretty sure was created in the 1600s. Also, I have to sit/lay on a light sheet, because said medicine gets on everything.

It itches and constricts and I am just not a fan. I've never been allergic to poison ivy/oak/sumac when I was growing up, but Greg (my brother) was highly allergic and used to catch it all of the time. It was so bad at times that he had to go to the hospital and miss a lot of school. I always felt really bad for him, because he always just looked so miserable. I even used to clean/clear out anything on our land that had poison ivy/oak/sumac on, in, or around it, just so he had a better chance of not catching it. Funny thing?

He's no longer allergic. But I am.

And guess what he isn't doing? He's not being all nice and sympathetic to me and cleaning/clearing out things so that I have a better chance. Nope. Not him. He is however staring at me while shaking his head and telling me not to leak pus everywhere. So, you know, that's helpful.

Poison ivy/oak/sumac was always the one "childhood illness" that I never got. And I know that adults get it, but I had chicken pox, the measles, allergies, asthma, and a bunch of other shit happening. I thought that poison ivy/oak/sumac was where the line had been drawn and I was perfectly good with that. But NOOOO. It had to wait until I was twenty- six years old to develop an allergy. I just don't think that's very fair and I call party foul.

All I know is I've had to be covered in goop, be deprived of sleep (holy hell- the itching!!), and take at least four showers (don't worry- cold showers) a day for the last three days. I have a couple of kinds of medicine that my aunt (Mary) brought up to me yesterday and I have one more left to try. It's some kind of 24 hour medicine, but if it's not getting better by tomorrow afternoon, I'm going to the doctor on Friday. Because damn Gina, this shit is for the birds.

Wish me luck. When I had chicken pox and wasn't allowed to scratch, Momma had to duct tape oven mittens on my hands. And she's already threatened to do it again. Once again- party foul.

I reset my alarm clock three times this morning.

(I never do that shit).

Dude, I know that Easter was almost a week ago, but I assume that it's ok, because St. Paddy's Day was almost a month ago and I wasn't around for that either. You win some, you lose some. And in all honesty, Momma and I finished It's Always Sunny a few weeks ago (yes, we watched all ten seasons over a period of time) and now I really just don't know what to do with my life. You call it sad, I call it what I like to do. We'll agree to disagree.

I really did reset my alarm clock three different times this morning. I've never been one to do that. Even when I was a kid I was always the one that got up out of bed as soon as my alarm went off. Technically I probably don't even need an alarm, because I wake up before it even goes off and just wait for it. When I used to spend the night with my friends they would get super pissed, because their parents would say it was time to get up and I would shoot straight up out of bed while they laid there in protest. I've just always got immediately up.

But today was not one of those days.

I didn't even ever fall back asleep or anything. I just laid there with Tayder under the blankets all snuggled in and listened to that damn dodo-bird that lives outside my window. And no, I'm not sure that it's a dodo-bird, but that's what I call it. If I didn't already have an arch nemesis, this bird would take that title. Luckily for him, that title is already taken and I don't like when animals of any kind get hurt. BUT ONE OF THESE DAYS, BIRD!!

Oh yeah, so back to Easter. We went down to Aunt Poot/ Uncle Darrell's (as per our holiday tradition). We ended up making potato salad, pea salad (vomit), deviled eggs, mac and cheese, and mini cheesecakes. But not just any kind of mini cheesecakes. Momma found a recipe online that she wanted to try so we ended up making caramel apple cheesecakes. Except it was the first time that I had ever made caramel and the recipe said that it went from caramel to burnt really quickly, and I got scared, so we ended up having light caramel. It still tasted pretty good though. And I dyed the deviled eggs multiple colors for Uncle Darrell. And then a day and a half later they (Aunt Poot, Uncle Darrell, and Solae) left for Florida for almost a week. But not because of the eggs, so it's all good.

I'm so glad that it's Friday. It's been kind of a long week, but also not really. You can probably tell that I'm delirious. It's supposed to be rainy/cold this weekend (because the weather is going through menopause) and I kind of just want to crawl up in the chair with Tayder and chill with him and Momma while we watch- Diners, DriveIns, and Dives. Ah, now that's a good time.

We shall see how all of that goes.

We got icecream from the lady on the corner.

(The best icecream is free).

Did you guys know that it's Free Cone Day at Dairy Queen? Also, do you know anything about Dairy Queen and the fact that they have a Free Cone Day? I did not. I don't even really know why they have it or if there is even a purpose; all I know is yesterday the lady that works there (there's one down the road from where we work) told us that if we went to one today, they had to give us free small vanilla cones.

Only she said it a lot nicer.

And once I told Dani what was happening, she was on a mission for us to eat icecream today. Her and I drove down in her car and got ours, and even though they're not supposed to, they gave us one for Tony to. They're pretty nice..... and a lot of people at our work are loyal customers during the season, because it's convenient and chili cheese dogs (with onions) are delicious.

Dani decided that once we got our cones and got back in her car (and they were melting, because it was really warm yesterday) that we needed a selfie to commemorate our victory with (and also, the people in my family are a bit psychotic).

And with all of that information, I leave you with how she captioned the picture of us on her FB page (because it can't possibly get any better): "Free cone day, playas!! (I have NO street cred)." I love it.

An old family secret.

(Don't worry, it was an old family secret by accident).

Every family has certain things that they feel only their family has. Whether that be recipes, jewelry, or old myth. We all know that every family has these things, but we convince ourselves that only our family has something as amazing as an old recipe that has been passed down through the years, or a necklace that great grandmother Estelle managed to get through the Great Depression with. We've all been there.

Ever since I was little and can remember, my Aunt Susi (hi on the off chance that you're reading this!) has made dessert like nobody's business. The lady can literally make any treat that your little heart desires (though she rarely indulges herself). But my favorite of hers has got to be, hands down: Chocolate Eclair Cake. (And veggie bars, but that's another story for another day).

I've lived my entire life calling it- "Aunt Susi's Chocolate Eclair Cake" and was none the wiser. None of us were. And then, Danielle tore through a piece of my childhood like she was Miley on her wrecking ball. You see, it isn't "Aunt Susi's" Chocolate Eclair Cake..... It's actually..... Duh, duh, duh (insert more dramatic sound effects here)- Ms. Boyd's Chocolate Eclair Cake. And Danielle knows this, because she's the one that brought home the recipe to Aunt Susi from elementary school, in 1990. THE YEAR THAT I WAS BORN. No wonder we were none the wiser, it's been in our family a really long time!!

And this whole story came about, because Danielle is doing something really nice. Wrecking my childhood was not nice, but the things that she is actually doing is nice. And no offense, but even though I know that it originated in someone elses kitchen first, it will forever be "Aunt Susi's" Chocolate Eclair Cake. So, I thought that since I happen to have a copy of it right here, I would share it with you. Afterall, maybe one of the kids in your family will think that you made it up by yourself and that you're a dessert genius.

Just a warning though, if you make this cake, you're going to want to eat the whole damn thing by yourself. So, I guess, perfect for a drunk night in when you've taken too many allergy pills under the liquor and you need a snack to eat while watching It's Always Sunny.

I want to crawl under a desk and take a nap.

(If only that were an option).

I've not been sleeping the best..... or at all lately. Frankly, it's making me a little crazy.

It's been a strange couple of weeks. From cousins getting into wrecks (or rather, people not paying attention and rear-ending your cousin when she's at a full stop) and cousins getting put into the hospital (they didn't find anything after five million tests) to the weather going through menopause, things are just..... strange.

And when your surroundings are that strange, you begin to feel strange yourself. I don't feel bad, far from it I guess you could say. Still though- strange. I think it's because it's somewhere between Winter and Spring. You know that time. When the morning and days are cold, but the sun shines and flowers try to bud. Although, the sun hasn't shown for days now due to the snow clouds drifting in and out of our lives.

Today is my friend Rachel's 26th birthday. Yesterday was Bubba John's 28th. Happy Birthday to you both. I love you.

2016 has certainly proved to be an eventful year so far, and we have nine more months to go. Like a pregnancy, none of us know what to expect as the further along we go. We all made an agreement to make this year better than the last one, but then again, you have to have those people to make life difficult and overwhelming.

Speaking of difficult and overwhelming..... have you seen the way people are tearing each other apart due to the upcoming election? There are people doing their jobs, and people who have their opinions, and all of that is wonderful. BUT then you have people who care for nothing but themselves and will stop at nothing to get what they want. They try to push their beliefs down everyone's throats, and when people plant their feet in the ground and take a stand to say no, they are called traitors or sinners. They don't want to know or allow other peoples opinions, or listen to their beliefs, it's strictly their way or the highway.

Well, I guess you can find me walking down that ole highway, because I have my own beliefs and refuse to bend to someone else's will, just because "they say so." They can push their beliefs and they can argue until they are blue in the face, but that just makes them absolutely no different than the people they are disapproving of and think are wrong. You think that your way is the right way and there are no other options? You think that things should be the way that you see, because it is your belief that it's the only way? You know who else thinks that? The other guy does, about his very own opinion or belief. People seem to forget that in their mission, whatever it may be, to be a decent human being. Somewhere along the trail, that was lost.

On a not so heavy note, let me just say that I am very pleased that it's Friday. Can I get an- AMEN, HALLELUJAH, TGIF up in here?! Damn, it feels good to know that in about three hours it will be my weekend. We've been staying in at night and watching Sam Axe (Burn Notice- Have you seen it? If not, I highly suggest it), but throughout the day we're out and about  trying to enjoy the bit of sun that's shining. Personally, I don't mind the dreariness, but I'm kind of strange like that. Other people though, they thrive off of the sunlight and demand it in order to be happy. It's supposed to rain for the next week. Those people are not going to be happy about it.

Here's to all the craziness that is sure to follow.