Tuesday, April 29, 2014

The worst three days of my life.

Last week I noticed that Momma's face looked a bit funny. No, I'm not being mean, I'm being completely serious. Something was just not right. I told her that she had two choices. One) She could call her doctor and get in- immediately...or... Two) I was taking her to the ER- immediately. Those were the only two options. She called her doctor and went in, and they sent her over to have an MRI. The MRI came back and said that she was fine, but they diagnosed her with bell's palsy, which however inconvenient, is not serious or life threatening. We were relieved and happy. That was all on Thursday.

Friday- April 25:
I was at work doing the deposits when I answered the phone. They asked for me by my full first name, and the only thing that I could think was that I was in trouble, because the only time someone uses my full name is when I'm either in trouble or it's one of the people I grew up with. I knew that they weren't calling. It was Momma's doctor. Doc: Have you seen your mother in the last 24 hours? Me: Yes. I saw her around two/three hours ago. Why? Doc: Well, you need to go to her and take her to the ER immediately, because we found abnormalities on her MRI. Me: What?!! Umph!! *$@!#$!! Doc: Now, don't panic, we just need to do this precautionary. Me: You do not start a conversation like that! You start with don't panic! So I called Momma and told her that I was headed home, Danielle took me (thank you Dani) and when I got there I told her that we were going to the ER- NOW. I woke Jim up and off we went. I was a nervous wreck and I know that Momma was to, but she wasn't letting it show. We were admitted into the ER and they hooked her up to the monitor. A million different doctors and nurses came in and out and after three grueling hours we were informed that she had in fact had a stroke. It was so scary and like everything came crashing down. I immediately reverted back to the nursing home and started thinking off side effects, therapy, and everything else that accompanies stroke patients. She was admitted into the hospital and they took us to her room. She had another MRI, and we were told that over the next couple of days that she would have more testing done. After that we basically just hung out in her room and tried to relax. Like that was going to happen. People came to visit and by the time the evening rolled around it was just me and her there. I wasn't going anywhere without her. She wasn't aloud to walk a lot, because of her medicine, so we did the only thing that there was to do. Watch TV. A night of The Back-up Plan, Sheldon, and Rob Dyrdek.


Saturday- April 26:
After a sleepless night, there was more testing to be done. We were informed that she wasn't going to get to go home for at least another day and that things were looking bad, but a little better. I know, right? Talk about ass backwards. After having an ultrasound on her neck, another MRI, a CT Scan, and having about 23 tubes of blood taken, she was pretty beat. I tried to bring her spirits up, and it seemed to work. I even drew on the pain scale board. You know the board that shows you the different faces raking pain from one to ten? Yeah, that one. It made her smile and laugh and I was so happy to see that. Her face was still drawn and her balance shaky, but all in all she was doing pretty good. We met with the neurologist and physical/occupational therapists. We were told that she had had a stroke on the left side, and also had bell's palsy on the right. Talk about a double whammy. She was of course wore out and wanted to go home immediately, but i talked her down and told her that she couldn't go anywhere until we figured everything out. Kenny and Jim came to visit us later that evening and Momma made me go with Jim to get Taco Bell. She also made me promise to bring her back a taco, because hospital food- yuck. After all of that, I helped mom take her shower like I had the night before and settled her in. We watched Tangled, some other random shows, and of course more Sheldon. Sheldon always makes Momma feel better.


Sunday- April 27:
This was the day that we would finally get some real answers. Although we knew that she had a stroke we weren't exactly sure to what extent the damage had went. She had to have a heart ultrasound done, to make sure that there were also no blockages anywhere in her body. Aunt Susi and Uncle Roger came to visit (hi guys!). They stayed for awhile and we all talked it out. I had helped Momma with her shower earlier and braided her hair, so needless to say she was feeling pretty fancy :) A little bit later the neurologist came in and talked to us about her condition. Thankfully the stroke was minor and hadn't done to much damage. Unfortunately some spots appeared on the MRI(S) that looked as though they could be multiple sclerosis (MS), but not necessarily, so she has to go back for a follow-up with the physicians. However, they discharged her home and she was out of there like she had been in Alcatraz for thirty years. Aunt Susi told me to take one of my vacation days for Monday so I could stay home and get some rest. (Thanks, Aunt Susi).

I'm back at work today. Momma is feeling better and we're pretty optimistic. Even though I'm worried every minute of every day, but I don't tell anyone that, because then they'll worry, and they don't need to do that. Also, Aunt Susi is picking me up for work (thank you again!!) and she has enough on her plate as it is. So here I sit. Telling you that those three days were the worst of my life. I was scared and felt beyond helpless. You never imagine something happening to your loved ones until it does. To me my Momma is the strongest, greatest woman that I have ever known, and to see her like that is mind boggling. She keeps telling me that I don't have to be the strong one. But I do. I have to be the strong one for her. I know that we have a long way to go, but knowing that she's going to be ok lifts a giant weight of worry off my brain. Does that make sense? So here we go. Take all of her meds. Check. (Both of us) Quit smoking. DOUBLE-CHECK. Making her as healthy and able as possible. We're on it. I'm just happy that she's not going anywhere for a long, long time.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

She was the sweetest little thing there ever was.

When I was growing up I had a friend named- Amy. You've heard me talk about Amy Dean a couple of times. I've even told the story about when we went to see Mean Girls. For some reason I have Amy on my mind today. It could be that her 24th birthday would have been five days ago. It could be that Mean Girls is celebrating it's 10th anniversary and I've seen things about it everywhere. It could be because my mind wanders. Or it could be the fact that I can't listen to Taylor Swift without thinking about Amy first. No matter where my imagination and terrible singing takes me in my head, my first thought is always Amy. That's why I secretly love Taylor Swift. {{But seriously don't tell anyone that I love Taylor Swift. I don't want to be known as a 'Swifty'. Amy wouldn't want that either.}}

Either way, no matter the reasoning I have Amy on my mind today. I first met her when we were little kids and we bonded over our equally horrible haircuts. Although she eventually grew hers out a few years before I did mine, and she continued to have much better hair as we got older, when we were small we were equal in that department. Her with her gelled bangs and hairclips, and me with my feathered bangs and pigtails. Thankfully, we grew out of that. For the most part.

I called Amy Skippy, because that just seemed like a fun, happy name. And when I think of her, I think happy. She called me Daisy, because she loved to tease me about being a 'late bloomer'. I was shy and backwards and she loved to acknowledge that. She was never mean about it, and she never talked to other people about it, but we talked about it a lot. It was mostly her telling me stories and asking me questions and my opinion, and me nodding along and giving her honest answers.

We were always friends, but we also competed with each other throughout grade school. They were friendly competitions, because at the time we didn't even realize that's what was happening. We both just wanted to have great grades, win things, and for the people we liked to like us back. That's not so much to ask, was it? I remember when we were in the fifth grade we both participated in the annual spelling bee. We did really good and made it further on up in the competition. When we got to the district competition Amy was eliminated, and I went onto state and eventually nationals. She was so happy for me and I was sad for her. Even though we both wanted to win, I don't think we realized that meant the other had to lose. We didn't think of that. We thought of our friends.

When we were young, people would tell us that we looked alike constantly. I didn't see it, I thought that Amy was much prettier than me, but she would just smile, hug me, and tell them thank you. They mistook us for sisters and sometimes even as just the other one. It was like this until she dyed her hair bleach blonde and got really tan. Like really tan. I don't tan, I just stayed pale as a powdered wig, but not her. She looked like she should be on the cover of a magazine somewhere. After she passed away I took care of her dad at work for a bit. I wasn't thinking and wanted a change, so I bleached my hair blonde. When I walked into his room he cried and his wife dropped the tray she was holding and grabbed me to hug me. When they glanced up they had thought I was Amy, until they remembered what had happened. I went home that night and immediately dyed my hair dark brown again.

When we became teenagers we went through the phases that all teenagers go through. Amy started wearing ties and a crap load of eyeliner and I got a tattoo and started wearing hiphuggers. We both looked like we were trying to copycat Britney Spears and Avril Lavigne....because we so were. I was a bit of a late bloomer so she had many more boyfriends than I did. She had a lot of boyfriends now that I think about it. She was so pretty, and bubbly, and energetic, and fun, that it was hard not to want to be around her. All of the guys seen this early on. Plus, she was a cheerleader and what guy doesn't love a good ole cheerleader? Before she decided to go into her 'bubblegum pop' phase, she went through her 'alternative rock' phase. She wore ties, straightened her hair and wore a lot of eyeliner. We all did at one time or another. What makes the alternative rock phase complete? A badass boyfriend, that's what. Amy snagged the "bad boy" that we all thought was a dreamboat, but never actually talked to. They were only "hallway corner" official and later on Amy would tell me that she never really thought of him as a boyfriend, but more so a guy that made her look totally awesome. She wanted him for her "image" and he agreed to it, because I mean, why not?

When we were eighteen and she was about to pop from having her baby boy, she would convince me that giving that bad boy from her past a chance was a great idea, because according to her- "Every girl needs to go through that phase, and he was the best to transition you through it". Once again- she was right. She got the hair brained idea, because we worked at the nursing home with that boys mom, and he had talked to Amy about me. I had a strict no dating my friends ex-boyfriends or crushes policy. She informed me that seventh grade didn't count and that he didn't count as a boyfriend, but a phase. When we worked together we had a blast. I would get her those weird things that she craved from being prego (i.e. rice krispies w/ ketchup, cream soda, and white powdered doughnuts) and scratch her belly while I smoked on our breaks. The ones at work told us that we were a sight for sore eyes. We were young, crazy, and fun. We were full of sunshine and we loved to laugh. We even had the bright idea to climb into the industrial dryers there, and all was well until they turned it on with me inside. Amy screamed, I cursed, and iI got a "semi concussion" and a great memory. We had so much fun at work, with each other and our co-workers. That's even where we met the one guy that was into me first instead of Amy, and she loved every minute of it. She was all about teasing the late bloomer. In a loving/friendly way, of course.

She was just such a great person and a wonderful friend that it makes me wonder why bad things happen to great people. She made mistakes just like the rest of us, but she owned them and they made her who she was. She was full of laughter, and I'm pretty sure that anyone that met her was automatically a little bit in love with her. She was a young mother, but she was an amazing one. Just like with everything else in her life she excelled beyond what anyone thought that she would. I personally never had any doubt for her whatsoever. I knew that she would love that baby more than anything in the entire world. And she did. Because that's who she was. That's what she did. If you were her friend she loved you and treated you like her family. If you were family she loved you even beyond that. She just wanted to love blindly and make everyone smile. And that's what she did. I guess what I'm trying to say is- I miss her.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Have you heard the news?!!

Uh, yeah, this is big news people.
So big that I can't even really think straight.

PREGNANT!!

No, you fools.
Not me. I'm not even in a "we".
I'm talking about my brother.
And his girlfriend, obviously.

They told me Saturday evening.
Greg insisted that Momma and I go out to eat with them.
Even though we had already eaten we agreed to ride along.
Besides Greg got me food anyways.
Tennessee whiskey cake and berry/passion fruit tea? 
Yes, please.

Anyways, he showed me a picture on his phone of a (+) prego test.
I immediately went on the defense.
"Umm, sorry dude, it's not mine".
To which he replied "no, it's Chris'".
"Oh really? Who's is it"?
"Uh, mine".
Yep. Not only was I wildly inappropriate, but then I spit tea everywhere and almost choked to death.
ALMOST.

Then I was all- Can I go into the delivery room?
Because- HELLO. Curiosity.
But she said no. And that's probably a good thing.
Why? Because I would look like those dudes that went through simulated labor.

Don't ask.
That got me thinking to.
What if the baby is really ugly?
I can feel your judgy eyes on me.
Quit it. I'm being serious.

I know that I'll love the gross/slimy little wrinkled blob regardless.
But seriously, what if it's ugly?
I can't possibly lie convincingly enough to get out of that one.
I will forever be known as the aunt that called the baby ugly.

And refused to hold it, because BABIES CAN SMELL MY FEAR.
It's like a sixth sense they have or something.
Not cool.
You laugh now.
But it's the truth.

Once again I can feel your judgy eyes up on me.
But whatevs.
I know the truth.
That kid on Jerry Maguire was wrong.
It's not just dogs and bees.
It's babies, too.

The usual stuff about babies doesn't bother me.
I worked in a nursing home for five years.
I did my job as a CNA and assisted with wound care.
Plus, a lot of other gross stuff such as tubes.
Tubes in places that you wouldn't think they would put a tube.
I digress.
So, I'm good with all of that.
However, I have fears when it comes to babies.

Possibly irrational fears.
But fears none the less.
What if i drop it? Huh? What then?
If the baby doesn't appear to be hurt do I tell?
Or do I chalk it up to a youthful indiscretion?
Call it a day? What happens if the kid grows up to be an idiot?
No one will know why he/she grew up to be such an idiot.
But I'll know and always wonder if damage was done when I dropped it.
But what if I drop it and tell and nothing's wrong?
That then? Then I'm just gonna be known as "the baby dropper".
And let's face it.
Shady eyes will be all up on me.
I can feel them already.

And you know usually I don't care about any of that.
In the words of the Jersey Shorians- YOLO!
But when it comes to my own niece/nephew I would like to not be blamed for ruining it.
I mean, really?

And that's just one of my fears.
What about the rest of it?
Poop? Whatevs, I got that.
Puke? I'm a pro.
Snot? I am the champion.
Not letting babies get a hold of things that could be potentially life threatening? Iffy.
I don't know what babies can and can't have.
I mean the obvious things, sure.
I'm not a moron.
But did y'all know that babies can't have PB, shellfish, or berries?
Not until they're older.
Personally, I had no clue.

Whatevs. I tend to conquer things that I set my mind to.
Right? A little back up here, please.
This is scary.
And I'm not even the one having a baby.
I can't imagine what that fear is like.
It must be horrible.
Oh God, what if I get it's butt stuck in the highchair or something?

Great. One more thing to worry about.
I cannot babysit under any circumstances.
I might draw on the baby's face or something.
As long as I don't give it ink poisoning, that's ok.
Right?

What if they name it something stupid?
Will I be able to look past that?
I mean, I can't contain my disdain when people name their children- Nevaeh.
Sorry by the way if your name is Nevaeh.
Or you have a kid with that name.
I just think it's dumb.
Like, really dumb.

Or Crystal Chandelier.
Stripper.
I don't want my niece/nephew to have a stripper name.
I just want to spoil it.
And love it.
And hopefully be the best aunt that any one person could ever be.
Why am I so nervous about this?
Y'all wish me luck. Fingers crossed.
I feel like Russell Crowe in Gladiator right now.
Or Mel Gibson in Braveheart.
Or Channing Tatum in The Eagle. Scratch that- Jamie Bell in The Eagle.
You catch my drift.

By the way.
Who doesn't love a good baby meme?
I mean memes are great within themselves.
But baby or kid memes?
Yes ma'am. The sandbox kid is my favorite.
But they're all pretty cool.
Sorry. I'm getting off subject again.
Notice that pattern much?
It happens to the best of us, I reckon.
By the way I wasn't supposed to tell anyone.
But I can't help it. Oopsy?! 

Saturday, April 19, 2014

It's amazing that we aren't committed by now

And I'm not talking marriage either.

Sometimes at work we say and do random things. Mostly it's me, but once Danielle and I get a bit we usually just keep going with it. It most generally gets really inappropriate and I'm convinced that we're going to go straight to hell for it. No passing go. No collecting two hundred dollars. Just going to hell. Sometimes all the time we're really tacky. We try to stop no we don't, but it just slips out.

That's what she said. 

Haahahhaha......

Sorry. No, I'm not. Apparently sometimes I revert back to being twelve.... 

Susi: I have to put these documents in the file folder. Danielle: The folder is in the top cabinet. Susi: You know I think I'm going to lose ten pounds. Katie: How are going to do that? Shave your head and cut off your leg? Danielle: Really, mom? Katie: I thought you just wanted to lose five pounds. Susi: Yeah, but I think I'll lose ten so that I can eat for awhile and still be five pounds lighter. Katie: That sounds like Kardashian math, so it has to be wrong.

Katie: Did you know that Donnie Wahlberg is marrying Jenny McCarthy? Danielle: Yes, and he needs to get his head out of his ass. Seriously, Donnie?! Katie: Should we form a group and kidnap him until he comes to his senses? Danielle: Yes. Yes. We. Should. Katie: He could've married you. Danielle: I was never big on Donnie when it came to NKOTB. Katie: You would've so married Donnie if it got you closer to John. Danielle: That's true. I would've. Katie: I was always more on Donnie, so can I marry him instead. Danielle: Yep.

Danielle: That lady in the meeting felt really bad when you told her you were only twenty-four. She thought you were like thirty. Katie: I know it. Bitch. I should've told her I was like 47. That would've taught her a lesson. Danielle: Yeah, tell her you exfoliate a lot. Tell her that you sold your soul to the devil. Katie: I've been 17 for 172 years. Danielle: Yeah, you are totally a vampire. Katie: With way less good hair. Less good? But I refuse to make out with Kristen Stewart. Danielle: Don't blame you one bit. Katie: She's weird. Danielle: And you don't sparkle. Katie: Unless I straight up hit Victoria Secrets for the free samples. Danielle: Cheap ass. Katie: Frugal. Danielle: Cheap.

Danielle: I'm so tired, Katie. I think I'm going to die. I'm gonna take a nap right here and if anybody comes in cover for me. Katie: Tell them you have narcolepsy? Danielle: Yeah, tell them it's my condition. Katie: The condition of you being a drunk? Danielle: I'm not a drunk. Just well versed in alcohol. Katie: So...a drunk. Danielle: .......Shut up.

Danielle: You should listen to The Toadies. I know you. You would love them. Katie: Why would I love them? Danielle: Because the lead singer is a creepy psychopath and we both know you kind of dig that. You watch The Following. Katie: But I love Mike. Danielle: Still killed Lily Gray. Katie: He had no choice. Besides he is the most amazing character on that show. Danielle: You would be attracted to him. **********listens to three songs from the toadies********** Danielle: I was right. Katie:......I hate you. Danielle: I almost met him. They put on a good show. You would totally hang out with that guy. Katie: And try to convince you that getting into his blacked out van was a great idea.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

I never thought that I would

I should've just stayed in bed yesterday morning. For starters I couldn't find anything, including my dry shampoo, two of my black shirts, my earrings, my shoe (yes, just one), and while this probably doesn't seem like a big deal to most I have to say when you're running behind for work, it's very inconvenient. I felt like I was trying to go warped speed and kept getting pushed back. I probably looked pretty crazy to. I felt like a damn maniac, and briefly contemplated running far far away. And then that made me think of Shrek.


Then we had to do payroll a day early, we had a meeting that felt like it was fourteen hours long, and there was a long line at Chic-fil-a. Ok, that last once was purely selfish, and I slipped it in there, because I'm starving and I want Mexican food. Qdoba, please come to me. How sad is it that I want Mexican food at 9 in the morning? Whatevs, it's dee-lishous and I want it.

One of the only things that gets me through those random boring days that I want to gouge my own eyeballs out, are the blogs that I read. I just take a few minutes for myself and kick back with a bottle of beer sprite, and start reading. Yesterday I was reading one of my favorite blogs (Juliette) and thought that I would try a "link up". It's my first one, EVER. So be patient.


///Live in Indiana again. I know that I was born here, but I was raised in Tennessee and have lived in Alabama and Florida. What the hell am I doing back in the city? Oh yeah, I tend to be a bit of a nomad. It's not so bad, just different.
///Like cats. Who would have thought? I've always been a dog kind of gal, and Tayder is my best friend, but I have to say I'm loving Jim and Kenny's cat- Ru. Don't tell anyone. Also, I love grumpy cat. No shame from this girl.
///Work where I work. Growing up the family business was always flooring. Weird I know, but true. Almost everyone has come through here at one point or another, or is married to someone who has worked here. Mostly it's the men. However, there have been a few exceptions where the girls have worked in the office. I never thought that I would do this. And yet, here I am.
///Contemplate training for and running a marathon. WHAT???!!!
///Have a blog that I enjoy so much. I've always been a writer (if only in my own head), but I know very little about technology. I know more now than I did, but still. I've always been a paper and pencil kind of gal. I have to say though, I love my blog. Even if no one reads it, and I'm only talking to myself, it's something that's all mine.
///Drink wine. Growing up in the south there was plenty of 'homemade' wine, but I've always been more of a beer girl. Give me a bud light and you're practically handing me a bottle of happiness, but wine is growing on me these days.

{{Yes that is a picture of me and Danielle straining the wine, because the cork crumbled and fell down in it}}

///Be perfectly ok with eating just veggie sandwiches. Don't get me wrong, I still eat meat. It would take a force of pure evil to get me to stop eating meat, but I do enjoy just veggies too. Especially since the only meat I like anymore is hamburger, pepperoni, shredded beef, roast beef, and ham. I eat chicken sometimes to. Is pepperoni meat?
///Be one of those people that gets annoyed at loud music, unless it's mine. All these teenagers and kids playing their Justin Beiber and Selena Gomez full blast? No, thank you. It makes me want to punch them in the throat.
///Speaking of which- Be one of those people that calls people around my age kids, and refer to teenagers as jerks. In all fairness, they really are.
///Ever forgive and be a fan of JT. Secretly and deep down I've always loved Justin Timberlake, but when he left Nsync, destroying my favorite boy band and single handedly breaking my tween heart, I vowed to never love him again. However, I always knew that I still did, and when he gave partial credit to the other four guys at the 2013 VMA's, I decided to just not hide it anymore.


The Other Juliette///Have a bigger chest. I never had big boobs growing up. Plenty enough ass for three people, but never boobs. I was as flat chested as you could get. I hit 22 and went from a 34A to a 38C. What the eff??!
///Be very happy being single. I've had a boyfriend since I was fifteen years old. Not the same one either. I flitted from relationship to relationship, because I thought that's what you were supposed to do. Like being single was a crime. 22 must have been a very liberating year for me, because I dumped the jerk I was dating and have been single ever since. And I couldn't be happier about it. The way I look at it when it happens it happens, but until then I'm doing great on my own.

Linking up with Juliette.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

At least it was a pretty weekend

Shouldn't you get a reward or something for getting up early on a Saturday and taking a kid to school? Like, even though I didn't technically have to, I didn't want to be all- "No. you take her to school and I'll stay in my bed and dream about Jude Law while cuddling my teddy bear and all will be right with the world." And yes, I still sleep with my teddy bear. We've been through this. Move on. So instead I got up with Momma at 6:00 in the morning (yes, you heard me right- 6:00 am!! On a Saturday) to take Shylyn to school. The funny part? She only had to stay until twelve, because it was some kind of make up day. Whatevs. The point is by the time we got her ready and dropped her off (yes, even at 14 someone still has to make her get ready) it was like 7:30 and I was like- "yeah we should go get breakfast, because I'm starving and the only thing worse than being sleepy is being sleepy and hungry."

Momma agreed, because let's face it she probably just didn't want to hear my cranky butt go on and on all day about food. I didn't even bother to change out of the clothes that I slept in. Son't tell Aunt Susi. But I straight up rolled out of bed in my sweat knickers and Hogwarts t-shirt ready to go. I did however manage to finagle a sweatshirt on and wear my generic Toms (thank you Kmart and Bongo- $12 people!!). Oh and did I tell you I fixed my hair? No? Well, I'm glad I didn't because that would have been a lie. I just pulled it up into the messiest/worst bun thing that you can possibly imagine. I reiterate- don't tell Aunt Susi. We also jammed in the car. To Nsync. No shame.

we decided that if we were gonna do breakfast, we were gonna do it right, because I mean, I love food. We decided on IHop, because I really wanted waffles. I know it's the international house of pancakes, but I'm a rebel and I do what I want, including ordering waffles at the pancake house. Come to find out though I'm indecisive and ended up getting strawberry/banana french toast with bacon and hash browns. You know, just in case I want to weigh 500 pounds. I think I got the strawberry/banana just because I love trying to order it like David Beckham says it on the Burger King commercials. Yeah, it doesn't work. And I had eaten like almost half of it before I remembered to take a picture, but I don't care it was delicious and you have no right to judge me. I would eat it again. Seriously, now I want french toast. And bacon wrapped jalapeno poppers. Yumm..........  

After breakfast we ran some much needed errands. Like, much needed. I ran out of deodorant like three days prior, and started using Jim's brand new tube that hadn't been opened yet (don't tell him). So then I smelled like cinnamon and icy hot for like four days, because his deodorant is really weird, but whatevs. We were trying to kill some time too, until it was time to go pick up the kid. We ended up driving all over the place and going to Walmart, (two different) Dollar Trees, Big Lots, Walgreens, and somewhere else that I can't remember. Around 10:30 we gave up and went and picked the kid up early. There were only like eight kids there in total anyways.

She wanted to spend the day/night with her friends and I was all- "Umm, you gotta ask your papas, because that is sooo not my battle." She asked and they said yes and then we all loaded up in the car to run some more errands and drop her off. Just so y'all know she did everything that she wasn't supposed to do, and even though I was trying to have nothing but peace it didn't go down like that. Luckily they were still friendly while she was with her friends though. Also, I was teasing Kenny about all of the things that they were gonna do while they were together, but apparently I was right. They were being really bad and I was just like oopsy. I tried to tell them that a lot of fourteen year old kids were evil, but they just wouldn't listen to reason. Hey, I've watched horror movies. I know that kids are the devils. That and teenagers are jerks, so I mean come on. Can't say I didn't warn them.

It was so pretty this weekend, so I spent the day enjoying the pretty weather and sunshine (Me enjoy sunshine? What?!!) and the evening watching Criminal Minds and Dexter. Y'all I only have one and a half episodes left of season seven, and then I'm on the eighth and FINAL season of the series. I'm gonna have to be forced to sing "Hallelujah". It's a good show, but I've never actually sat down to watch an entire series, randomly, this long, just because. I don't even know if I like the show anymore, but I'm determined to finish it.

Also, I read on one of the blogs that I follow (Juliette) that Sea Salt Spray is amazing for your hair and helps you curl it better. So I got some. And "makes it curl better" or "easier to curl" automatically in my brain registered as- "You don't have to do anything to your hair except spray it with Sea Salt Spray". Needless to say, I haven't fixed my hair in three days, but I do keep using the Sea Salt Spray. That's the same thing, right? Did I mention that it's snowing today? Yeah, it's April 15th and I had to scrape my car this morning. I call bullshit. I'll stop rambling now.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

How did we communicate before FB?!!

I was going over some old messages from my FB and realized that I talked to people about a little of everything over the years. Our years, that is. I started asking myself- "How did we communicate before FB?" Not to those people who were friends or family, but to the people that had come and gone out of your life, that you loved, but lost touch with.

I remember writing letters to my friends for as long as I can remember. Of course, about the only one I write a letter to anymore is Noodle. And not hardly even to her. When I moved to Tennessee when I was really little I wrote letters to a girl that I used to play with in Indiana all the time. Over the years we lost touch, and have just recently found each other and started talking...via FB.

When I moved from Tennessee to Alabama, and then Florida, I wrote to Rachel all the time. We wrote back and forth a couple of times a week for awhile and then at least a couple of times a month. We talked on the house phone on occasion, but mostly we were all about the letters. We stayed in touch those three years.

I remember getting phone calls from a boy (that shall remain nameless) when I was seventeen/eighteen and when his daddy's name popped up on that screen (I'm old school, but we still had Caller ID...and yes, a house phone- no cell) I would get the dumbest/goofiest smile spread all the way across my face. Or he would just show up and knock on the door.

There were very few of us that had cell phones and if we did they were only for emergency situations. We didn't bother with social media like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or in my day MySpace. We had other things on our minds. And if we lost touch with someone, guess what? We had to either write them a letter, drive to their house, or never talk to them again. Honestly, with us, there were only so many options when it came to us. We didn't want to have to deal with social media. We were perfectly content with just staying in our own little bubbles. Now, we are all on FB, or Twitter, something. Why? We thought that it was so we could all keep in touch, but after a lot of consideration it's just so we can all spy on each other. Honestly, you know I'm right. That and talk to/find people that you haven't talked to in years. Because, I mean, why not? Right? You never know if you'll reconnect with old friends. 

Friday, April 11, 2014

I would look good (not really, but go with it) if I knew it all

As a girl we are expected to be able to juggle many things at one time. A whole lot. We are supposed to be able to juggle a family, a job, extracurricular activities, and look really good while we do it. People are always telling us to have our hair done, our makeup applied, and dress like we're gonna meet the love of our life every day. We are supposed to look our best selves- AT. ALL. TIMES.

With that being said, let's be honest for a minute. I don't have the time, effort, nor the energy to be doing all of that everyday. I commend the women who do/can, but I am just not one of those girls. And I don't even have kids or husband/boyfriend (I can feel you judging me right now). So if I did I would be an even bigger mess than I already am. And that's saying a LOT. To put it as blunt and honest as possible- I am a BIG OLE MESS. And that's being gentle. There really and truly are no words for it.

(I just wanted an excuse to show y'all a picture of me and Tayder!!)

Hats are my friend. I like to wear sweatpants and leggings with baggy t-shirts. And I don't care who has a problem with it. I've always been comfort over style, and I don't foresee it changing anytime soon. Don't get me wrong I like to dress cute, and I don't wear sweats at work or anything, but at home or going to the store I look like a hobo. I hardly ever wear makeup on the weekends, and if I didn't work in an office where I'm meant to look at least presentable I probably wouldn't on weekdays. I love makeup, but it takes so much time to apply right. 

And my hair? HA! Let's talk about my hair for a minute. I got it cut and colored about a month and a half/two months ago and I love it. However, that doesn't keep me from wearing it up in a ponytail/messy bun thing (and by messy bun I don't mean the cute ones either, I mean just messy). My hair is naturally wavy, so in order to fix it and make it look good I first have to blow it out and then straighten and/or curl it. Do you know how time consuming this is? Don't get me wrong , I have the time, but to be perfectly honest I'm lazy and even though I want to look good, I don't want to put forth the effort. I know, I'm horrible. Sorry, but not sorry. With all of this being said I would like to put something else out there. There are certain things that a girl can do to improve her looks immensely, and if I knew how to do them then I would look so much better. I think I forever look like a hobo though. I like my hobo ways :) Don't get me wrong, I've tried to do these things, but just can't seem to comprehend or get the hang of these things. Number one would be putting together cute outfits and wearing them all of the time. I try to do this, but I fail miserably. And it's EPIC. Sometimes I end up looking like Liza and weird Al's love child. Like I said- EPIC.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Where were you? What were you doing?

What were you doing 10 years ago?
Ten years ago I was fourteen, living in Tennessee, about to finish my freshman year of high school and move to Alabama. That's the year my life got flip turned and started to change the most. Some for the better. Some for the worst, but either way it's all good. It was definitely the year that changed everything. Not to mention that was the year my hair was growing out from that feathered haircut/bangs that I had. YIKES!

What were you doing five years ago?
Five years ago I was nineteen, living (back) in Tennessee, working as a CNA at the local nursing home. I had been out of high school around a year, and had decided to work to take care of Momma and Grammy as opposed to college. I always aspired to college, but when the time came to make the decisions, I went with what I thought was best. I don't regret my decision. I started making a few bad decisions (not too bad), and started dating an idiot. I mean that too, he was an idiot and we were together far too long. Which is weird to me, because I didn't even like him. So why did I stay with him??! That's a really good question.

What were you doing one year ago?
One year ago I was living back in Indiana (where I was born) with Jim and Kenny (just like now). I had not been working at my job long, and I was going back and forth to the lady doctor a LOT, because I was having to get checked out and start having treatments soon after. (I had some issues with some cancerous cells that were on my cervix, so I had to have treatments to try and remove them before the spread or progressed. I'm doing better now, and only have to go for check-ups every six months. Fingers crossed.) I started losing weight and learning all about blogging :) Basically, I turned my whole world/life upside down. And I don't regret that decision either. A year later- I'm happy, relatively healthy, and in a very good place in my life. I may not have a lot, but I have a lot more than some people.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Please stop talking, I can't take it.

(Names were changed to protect the innocent. And by innocent I mean if for some unexplainable reason someone I know ever stumbles upon my blog and reads it, then I can't be sued or held responsible for my words or actions. Except my family that I can just run away from. I mean, what are they gonna get if they sue me? A half of a Powerade and some leg warmers? Because that's about it. This all went down yesterday. There was so much laughing that I almost fell out of my chair. It was hilarious. Maybe you just had to be there.)
 
Susi: Why are Billy, Nick, Charles and Sven at The Naked Monkey? Dani: How do you know that they're at The Naked Monkey? Susi: Because Nick just checked in on Facebook and tagged the rest of them. Me: Am I the only one that's extremely uncomfortable with y'all using their names and naked in the same sentence? (Ignoring me) Dani: Eww, what do you think they're getting waxed there? Me: I bet it's not their heads. Dani: I bet it's their butts. What do you wanna bet? Susi: I bet it's their backs. Dani: Yeah, Charles is a pretty hairy guy. Me: Do either one of y'all really wanna ask them about their butts? Or waxing for that matter? (Ignoring me, again) Susi: It's cause of those books Billy's been reading by that woman. Me: Aren't those books specifically written for women? Susi: Probably, but he's real excited about this girl. He got his teeth cleaned and everything. Me: His teeth cleaned? Susi: Yeah. Dani: Specifically for that purpose? Susi: Yep. Me: Ummm....why? Susi: Cause he wanted to be fancy. Dani: Fancy?! Susi: Yeah. Me: You do realize what you just said, right?

****Five minutes later****

Me: Dani, have you ever been to one of those waxing places like The Naked Monkey? Dani: I used to get my hair done in a place that did waxing, but I never got one. Me: That just sounds so incredibly painful....and kind of embarrassing. Dani: Oh, those girls are not at all embarrassed to talk about it. They walk in and are all- "I'm here for my Brazilian." And then the people behind the desk start asking them all these questions like- "Do you want inside the crack done" and "Do you want a shape or a little left". And they are not quiet about it either. Me: You leaned in closer to hear the answer didn't you? Dani: Of course I did, I'm not crazy. What would you have done? Me: Of course I would've leaned in to hear, I'm not crazy. Susi: Why would you wanna hear all of that? (Me and Dani just looked at each other and then laughed.)

****A few more minutes later****

Susi: I wonder if there's an update on their whereabouts. Dani: You could always check it out to see. Me: Do y'all really wanna know if they are in fact getting their bits waxed? Dani: Their bits waxed? Me: Yeah, their bits. Do you have a better word for it when it comes to them? Dani: Nope, bits works. Susi: Why would they have their biz waxed? Dani: Biz waxed? Susi: Yeah, biz waxed. You know like "mind your own biz wax". Dani: That's beeswax. Mind your own beeswax, not biz wax. Why would someone mind their own biz wax? What does that even mean? Susi: What does mind your own beeswax mean? That doesn't make since either. Dani: True. But do you really think they're getting waxed? Like you know, their stuff. Susi: I don't know. Me: I know this time it's my fault, but I gotta say- "I am terribly uncomfortable with the way this conversation has turned".

****After work (in the car)****

Momma: How was work today? Me: Terribly uncomfortable. Momma: Really? Why? Me: (Tells entire story about The Naked Monkey and the guys involved.) See what I mean? Momma: I get it now. James: (In a British accent) What's wrong with her? Momma: Here, I'll put it on speakerphone and she can tell you. Me: (Tells the whole story again, while describing the guys involved.) James: Well, that sounds horrible. (Rambles on and on, blahblahblah). (Momma and James start having a conversation about me.) Me: Hey! Sitting right here. Mind you're business. James, have you found me Jude Law yet? James: No, I haven't. Me: Well, you need to get on it buddy. Momma: You have Jude Law on the mind lately. Me: i'd have jude law on more than just my mind if james would get on it. momma: katherine diane! me: I'm just playing. I can make jokes too, you know....I'm not kidding James find him. Immediately. It's raining. James: What does Jude Law have to do with rain? They are completely unrelated. Me: Because if I'm going to be made to endure this rainy/dreary weather, I should at least be able to be cuddled up on the couch watching movies. Drinking. With Jude Law. In England. James: **incoherent laughing** Momma: I freaking' love you. Me: I love you. And James. But mostly Jude Law. Seriously James, get on it.

Friday, April 4, 2014

I've always wondered- What happened to Max Dennison?!!

When I was little Hocus Pocus was one of the movies that I loved the most. I continually watched- The Wizard of Oz, Anastasia, Calamity Jane, White Christmas, and Hocus Pocus. I even made everyone around me watch it five million times. I wish I was exaggerating. I also watch it a few times a year as an adult. No, not just at Halloween either. I watch Hocus Pocus all year round, just like I watch White Christmas all year round. They just never get old to me. Why? Because they are amazing! You know you've thought the exact same thing.

Max Dennison was our first crush and still lives on in our hearts as the ultimate teenage "dude". But whatever happened to Max Dennison after Hocus Pocus? That's what I wanted to know. I'm not going to lie, I didn't even know his real name. It's Omri Katz, btw. So I literally had to Google Max Dennison. That's ok though, because to me he always will be. Sorry, but I'm not sorry. Don't get me wrong- I was all about Thackeray Binx too. To me growing up, they were the ultimate everything. Them and JTT and Arnie Grape, that is. Did y'all know that Arnie Grape was supposed to play Max Dennison, but dropped out to play Arnie? Well, if not, you do now. I'm glad it worked out that way. I can't picture anybody being those two, except those two.

I mean, Thackeray Binx went on to star in NCIS, and Dani has been in about a million (pretty great, but not as classic as Hocus Pocus- American Beauty or not) films herself. Allison went on to be in the Hills Have Eyes remake, and Sarah Sanderson can stay young forever, because she straight up married Ferris Bueller. We know that Winifred has traveled the world and that Mary returned to the convent to help form a choir with Whoopi to save the school. Even Billy Butcherson got a happy ending- he's one of the most go to actors for Sci-fi/fantasy films. All of these people I have seen in something over the years. Or at least heard about them. Something.

But Max? What happened to Max? That's the question that lingered on my brain. So, I went in search and found out that he's now a hairdresser. I would so let Max Dennison do my hair! And take a selfie with him, of course. But with this I also found this youtube video from about seven or eight years ago. For shame, Max. I mean, I still love you. You will forever have a special place in my heart as my beloved Max Dennison, but- Come on, dude. Where's ICE when you need him? I put it to a vote, a Max comeback. HOCUS POCUS 2!!

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

While we were moving it: The things I didn't say out loud

{{Remember yesterday when I let y'all inside my head during my lunch hour and made the comment that I hoped they had those beds moved so I could just read and relax when I got home? Well, that didn't happen. In fact, the exact opposite of that happened.}}

Ok, so we gotta go get these beds, it'll be ok. It'll just take about two hours or so.
Man, it feels good out today. I hope it doesn't rain
Are those rain clouds?
Yep, those are definitely rain clouds.
Damn it, I put Dani's sunglasses on top of my head and brought them with me....AGAIN.
I'll take them back to her in the morning.
I wonder if she would notice if I just wore them all the time. I love them.
Probably should find out what kind they are and pick up a pair.
Ok, we're here.
LET'S DO THIS.
Oh man, was I just singing that Taylor Swift song (Ours). out loud?
I hope no one heard that. Good song though.
Seriously? Greg didn't come? It's just me and Chrissy moving these two beds and all this crap?
Oh, this so isn't an accident waiting to happen.
She's only a foot and a half taller than me. What could possibly go wrong?
Am I always this sarcastic?!


Shy came to help to. At least she can help move this front stuff out.
Ok, I'll just climb right up here....
OHH, OHHH, FALLING
Nope, I'm ok.
No wonder I wasn't an athletic kid. I can knock the heck out of a volleyball though.
And pottery? Yeah, that was all me.
OMG who's idea was it for me to have all of these books?!!
Oh, mine?
I should've found a lighter hobby.
Ok, first one is down. Let's get it into the van.
Oh, this is not going to work. Like at all.
PUSH...PUSH...PUSH...it sounds like I'm coaching labor.
I'm glad I don't dance. I look ridiculous in my head.


And why do I actually see SHOUTY CAPITALS in my head when I think them?
I'm so weird.
Oh hell, better pay attention to what I'm doing.
Oh no, it's crushing me. MAYDAY! MAYDAY! DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!
It's soooo.... heavy....nottt....working.
Now would be the perfect time to have a big strong boyfriend.
Actually the other night when I needed something out of the top of the cupboard would've been even better.
Only if he's sweet and cuddly though.
That would be nice.
FOCUS, KATIE!


PUSH....PUSH.... ok, new plan. Time to get "redneck" with this stuff.
Oooohhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyygggooooooooooddddddd!!!!!!!
GOT IT!
Ok, time to go. (Two trips later)
I know it will come out eventually. We got it in there.
What goes in must come out.
That's what she said. Hahahahahaahaha
Sorry.....ok, FOCUS. PULL....PULL....PULL....
OUCH!! Ok, screw this.
Nope, gotta keep going. PULL...PULL...PULL...
PHEW!!! I got this! Buddadudduhduh. Or something like that.
Let's get these inside and set up so I can shower and still get a couple hours of reading time in.


What do you mean they won't fit down the stairs??!!
Take what apart? Rebuild what? Where? UUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Fine. (Take apart both wooden boxsprings- carry downstairs- nail back together).
This place is a mess down here. It's ok though. A bed will be better.
I been sleeping on a couch for two years. I'm glad to have my bed back.
PLAY IT AGAIN, PLAY IT AGAIN.  I love Luke Bryan. Except that rap shit he's got out. I could do without that.
Hey, back up off my teddy bear! Yep, definitely a 24 year old girl that still sleeps with her teddy.
Me and Howard go way back.
Seriously though, whatever happened to Pussco?
I'm sending him a friend request. He might not pay me any mind.
Whatevs, Pussco. How did people find each other before social media?
Carrier pigeons and hearsay?
I'm sleepy. (Fifteen minutes later)
Did I really pass out holding that jar of Nutella? Yes.
Did Greg really take a picture of me like that? Yes.
Great, I don't even freakin' like Nutella. It's disgusting. I'm the only person in the world that probably doesn't like Nutella.
I don't care. It is gross. I'll even put the pic on Instagram.
It's past ten? That's it, I'm sleepy. Bed time!! I'll shower in the morning.
ZZZZZZ.........zzzzzzzzzzzz........ZZZZZZZZ.....zzzzzzzzzzz.....ZZZZZZZZZZ....zzzzzzzz......................

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Lunch with the girls: An inner monologue.

Ok, I'm glad it's lunch time. I'm starving.
Mcalister's? I've never eaten at Mcalister's before. I wonder if they have shrimp.
Dani's brought me their tea before.
Mmmm...sweet tea. That stuff is more addictive than crack.
I think. I don't know, I get my info from- BrBa. And I think that's meth.
How different are the two, really? Who cares. Except people that do it, and BrBa writers.
They won an Emmy. Am I the only one that thinks Emmy sounds like a name?
Aaron Paul is a cutie though. And him and his wife? Adorable.
I should watch his new Need for Speed movie. I like those types of movies too.
I'm gonna wear these sunglasses of Dani's. She won't care, after all they're just thrown in the backseat.
I don't usually sit in the back. Probably because I get so carsick.
I'm ok though. I don't feel sick today.
Not like last night. Last night I couldn't get comfortable to save my life.
It's my back. It hurts in the same spot. ALL THE TIME.
I should go to the chiropractor or something.
But that means I would have to let a stranger feel up on me. I hate people touching me.
Unless they buy me a drink first. Just kidding! I do have personal space issues. I don't like people touching me.


If Aunt Susi keeps holding on like that and stomping her emergency brake she's gonna have an anxiety attack.
I bet those are rough.
Seriously though, she is gonna stomp a hole in the floor board.
I'm glad I found these sunglasses back here. It's so bright out. Ugghhhh...
Ok, I better quit whining, at least it's warm.
Windows down!!
I gotta remember to leave these in the car though.
This trip is taking FOREVER....how long have we been driving? Oh, about ten minutes.
what did they say up there?
Are they talking to me? Huh? Oh, I don't know.
I'll just nod and pretend like I heard.
Nope. Still didn't hear her. What the hell is this song anyways?
Oh, thank the Lord, we're here!!
Hey! They do have tea AND shrimp. SWEET!
.....SWEET TEA!!!
I feel like Forrest Gump and Bubba right now. Bubba Gump shrimp!
I've never ate there before either.
DON'T STOP BELIEVING!
I don't know why I break out into that song so much. Probably because it's so awesome.
Our cashier totally looks like Hunter Hayes. I wonder if Aunt Susi would agree.
Ok, she thinks that I'm crazy. But dude really does look like Hunter Hayes. Only a couple years older. But still.


That was good. Mcalister's is pretty nice.
Don't drop Chris' tea, Katie! Why would she leave me in charge of his tea? She's nuts.
I wonder what ever happened to Pussco.
He was sweet. I really liked him.
He did tell me that I was beautiful though. That was nice of him. Cause he lied, I'm not. Sweet guy though.
I wish I would've met him before I did that actual dilhole that I did date.
Actually I wish that I wouldn't have dated that assface at all.
Pussco and I used to have so much fun, especially riding around in that old white jeep of his.
When we were in it going down those back roads in the summer, it was practically a country music video.
I should look him up on FB to see if he's still doing good.
He lives in California now. I wonder whatever happened to the sunglasses that I left in his Jeep. Or the Jeep for that matter.
I've never wanted to live in California. I would like to go to Santa Monica though.
Theory of a Deadman.


Hey, this guy is getting really close.
Seriously, Dani. That truck is coming into our......LAANNNEE!
Dang that was close. Nope, he's doing it....AAGAIIINN!!
That's right honk that horn! Wow, I've never seen Aunt Susi get up in the windshield to flip someone off before.
That's great! Do it again Aunt Susi!
I'm glad he went on. Now we can get back to work.
I hope they got my bed out and set up today.
I don't wanna do it when I get off work. I wanna put my shorts on, put my clothes away, and finish reading- To Selena, with love.
It's been such a good book! I liked that Beautiful Bastard series too.
Hey, we're back at work.
***Walks up stairs, gets things situated (I didn't spill Chris' tea), sit down to do some typing/work.***
Damn it! Dani's sunglasses are on top of my head! I wonder if she notices, cause they're awesome.