Can we just eat pizza for Christmas?!

You know, for being such a grinch this holiday season, I sure am busy. Today is our annual company Christmas party. And while we don't get to get sauced like back in the good ole days, it's usually a fairly decent time and it seems to make Uncle Roger happy. Therefore if Uncle Roger is happy and decompresses for a minute then the world is a joyful place.

Last Sunday at Aunt Susi's get together: Momma and Aunt Poot looking adorable and mischievous. And Dani and Jayna decorating cookies (with my awesome frosting).

Aunt Susi also had that girls get together at her house this past Sunday and it was fun. We went over early to help her make things and set up. She had me make buttercream frosting in her pretty fancy mixer and not that I'm searching for compliments or anything, but it was delicious. We all decorated cookies, laughed, talked, ate and there was absolutely no fighting/arguing. Which is a rare thing for our family. Obviously it's the guys that do it and not us girls. All of us just wouldn't do something like that. Yeah, that's it.

Last years annual company Christmas party. This is me with Uncle Darrell (he's my homie/dance partner) and my cousin Jeremy.

We also played that 'dirty santa' or 'white elephant' (Which is a dumb name. Just saying.) And some people just don't show any mercy around these parts. And even though Aunt Susi ended up with the pretty scarf (you're not sorry) it's ok, because telling Ashley why she didn't need the scarf was hilarious. Also, Shantel sat in a bunch of blueberries and usually that would stain, but I scrubbed her pants with Aunt Susi's hobo soap and IT ALL CAME OUT. It's magic soap. Dani says it would be hippie soap before it would be hobo soap, but I'm sticking to my guns on this one.

Also, Bubba, Chrissy, Johnathan, Elizabeth, and the three kids are coming up tonight so that we can do "our" Christmas. We thought that we were going to spend Christmas at their house this year (because they invited us to), but come to find out they don't even get the kids back until noon and they go to her parents at one. And while her parents invited us over for Christmas with all of them, we've met them about twice and didn't feel comfortable with that. Hence, Christmas tonight. I think that Momma is a little upset that she won't get to see Greg on Christmas day, but I guess I'll just have to get a little spirit (or at least pretend to) and watch White Christmas and make it good for her. It'll all be good.

The Christmas season and I are just NOT gee hawin' this year.

I'll admit it. I'm a Grinch. I'm a t-total Grinch this year. Just give me a green suit and a Santa hat while I put some antlers on Tayder and James Earl Jones sings a song about me. That's how (un)Christmas-y I'm feeling about all of this. I've put up the tree, decorated, and bought/wrapped gifts (I still have more to do). All of us girls even got together at Aunt Susi's for a Christmas get together (that I'll write about someday) and still, nope.

I don't know why. I can't stand Christmas music, the thought of having to deal with decorations makes me just want to take a nap, and I haven't even watched White Christmas yet. People, White Christmas is one of my favorite movies of all time. I even watch it in July and it's just not happening. I think I must just be going through a Grinch phase.

Our work Christmas party is this Friday and all I can think is blah. Then Friday evening Greg, Chrissy, Johnathan, Elizabeth and the kids are coming up to our apartment to do our little Christmas and frankly I'm already tired. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother, but once again, Christmas. I haven't even put elf ears, bows, or bells on Tayder. I have yet to wear my Christmas socks. Not even Christmas cookies are appeasing me. I don't know, maybe I'll get in the "Christmas Spirit" in the next couple of three days. At least there's four days off of work next week to look forward to (Thursday-Sunday).

The levels of baking cookies with an eleven year old.

I got the bright idea to let Solae spend the night on Saturday and then she was all- let's do something fun!! Can we bake cookies?!! You're SO awesome. And of course I had consumed about a bottle of wine when she called me and said that I was awesome, so I was all- of course you can spend the night. And we'll bake cookies, and make things, and I'll cook you pasta, because I'm awesome!! I GOT THIS.

Cut to the next morning when I figured out that my Momma had actually already promised her all of this, while volunteering me, with me sober and I immediately regretted my actions. You would think it was the walk of shame with how much I was regretting said actions, but no. No, it was just the promise of having to do all of this. Ugh.

But I'm a good sport, and if nothing else, I'm fairly decent at keeping my promises, so I said- what's done is done and went to buy more wine. Because obviously I make great decisions while drinking. And then we picked her up around eleven that day to run some errands and get home to bake. And apparently make mustache pops and cake pops.

Level one:
You get together everything that you need or could possibly ever need to get things going. Eleven year olds have about the attention span of me a ferret on crack so you can imagine how well this step went. Once everything was gathered I realized that there were alot more things on the counter to make than I had originally agreed to and while no one was looking started hiding them odd places in the kitchen.

Level two:
The baking is going good by this point. You've got a crap ton of energy and are in a good mood. You're mixing and baking at such a fast rate that when the kid asks you if she can eat all of the sugar, you agree, because let's be honest about the fact that you're kind of an alcoholic and have already started drinking the half a bottle of wine in the fridge.

Level three:
You take a small bathroom break and when you walk out you see that the kid is standing in the living room, listening to Taylor Swift, throwing around the dish towel like she's Raphael from the Ninja Turtles. You ask her what she's doing and realize that she's so jacked up on sugar that her eyes are as big as tea saucers. It's also at this point that you decide to crack open your second bottle of wine. I can literally feel your judgement on me right now.

Level four:
By now the kid has come down off of her sugar high and you're stuck finishing the cookies, because she wanted to watch Captain America. Nevermind the fact that you want to watch Captain America, oh no, you're the adult so finish the damn cookies, make pasta, and frost the snowmen cookies, bitch! Also, you may or may not ask your Momma and Aunt if the tiny snowman cookies that she made look like little penises or if you're just slightly tipsy. PS, they looked like little penises and you frosting them white probably wasn't the best idea.

Level five:
By this level you're lucky you even survived. Especially if you hate the holidays, because you're a big, fat, fatty Grinch. Aka me. Now, you've cleaned the kitchen and you're sitting on the floor with your feet on the oven door, drinking the rest of the wine out of the bottle, sending pictures to your friend of your burnt hand, because you just knew that was going to hurt in the morning. And you finally peel yourself off the tile, go take a shower, and go to bed. Only to wake up at four the next morning with a sinus infection.

But guess who's awesome and totally still the favorite?!

#Thefinalride

Well played, Sutter. Well. Played.

And now?! I'm sad.

I have many things to be thankful for {A sappy (early) Thanksgiving post}.

What's there not to be happy about today? I mean, I get off at 11:00 today. I have the next four days off. Aunt Poot and Solae are coming over tonight for movie night (Expendables 3...whoop whoop!!). Momma is feeling pretty good. Aunt Susi is happier. Jayna is at work today helping to put up the tree. Me and Dani match in our Griswold shirts (by accident). Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Greg is happy. John is up here now. I've decided to watch Outlander on Demand (all eight episodes) while I'm off. And I'm losing weight. The world is good. My world that is.

Two year old me would like to wish you happy holidays!! Clearly, we know who the cute one was. My brother and cousins claim they were, but I mean, come on. Look at little ole me.

Things could be better I suppose. I reckon they always could. People always seem to talk about the things that could be better. However, I'm a drink the glass that way you don't have to decide if it's a glass half empty/half full kind of gal. I try to always find the silver lining and be optimistic. Noodle likes to tell me that I'm the ultimate eternal optimistic/hopeless romantic. I'm not really sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but we got that kind of love. I'll take it.

I have so much to be thankful for. So much. I'm in fairly decent health. It teeter totters back and forth between things sometimes, but for the most part things tend to go good. At least it's nothing I can't deal with as far as now. My Momma. The fact is that she's in poor health, but you know what? She's getting help for it. And it's getting better by the day. She will never be healed, however I'm hopeful that with time we can get her to that level. You know what 'that' level is. Tayder is still kicking and lugging around. Poor guy is grumpy, but he's the Walter Matthaeu of dogs, so I'm ok with it.

I like that he's still here to give me cuddles and kisses when I need them. I spend time with a few of my favorite people in the world- i.e. Momma, Aunt Susi, Uncle Roger, Aunt Poot, Uncle Darrell, Aunt Mary, Dani, Solae, Greg when he doesn't have a giant stick up his butt. And so on and so forth. I love spending so much time with Momma. And I love spending time with those I am close to. Work is good. Our apartment is good. Family is good, except for the buttheads, but you know.

I could complain. I really could. But why? So much has happened. There was so much bad in me that I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where to turn. I got to the point that I didn't want to do my favorite things. I didn't want to talk to my friends. Anybody really. I didn't want to read or watch tv. I didn't want to leave the house. I didn't even want to get out of bed or get dressed. I didn't really want anything. I went through the motions and that was it. I didn't know what else to do. I just laid there and stared at the walls. I cried without knowing why. I sat there without paying attention to the things around me. My life was going without me really in it. It's been like this for years. Since I was around fifteen, I guess. And then I started making changes. Big changes. And it helped. Don't get me wrong, there are days that I still have these feelings. Everyday I have at least a few of these feelings and don't really understand why. I've never known why. But you know what? Here it is. And here I am. I'm surrounded by people that love me, and even though I don't want to burden them with my problems, I know that if I needed them they are there. And that's nice. And for that my friends, I am thankful.

Happy (early) Thanksgiving.

I'm pretty sure that I am the absolute WORST at being a girl.

I have this thing where I go over everything in my head and I over analyze anything that I come into contact with. My conclusion to the fact that I am the absolute WORST at being a girl is no different. I feel like this is a true fact. I came to this realization somewhere between putting on my sweatpants/ butler bulldogs tee shirt and then going to my aunt/uncle's house to eat pizza and drink beer.

I know, I know, carbs and alcohol, SAY WHAT?! But I'm a rebel like that. My pants hate me for it.

Between reading through my favorite blogs, checking out random sites, and talking to people that I grew up with, it's enough to make you feel like you took a detour at the wrong crossroad. Most of them are in meaningful relationships, either married or on the verge. Most with children and some have even been with their significant others for years upon years. WE'RE TALKING SANDBOX LOVE, PEOPLE! And yet I'm just over here all- look at how cute my dog is!!

Now, being the type of person that I am, none of this usually bothers me, but every once in a great while I'll feel a ting of the green-eyed monster creeping up my back. Don't get me wrong, I have no desire to be married, and at the possibility of sounding like a horrible person, I don't want children. At least not ones to call my own. Neither of those two things have ever been a priority of mine. I love my independence and at the risk of sounding selfish, don't feel like I should have to have children to live up to some other persons standard of my happiness. But that's just one girls opinion on the matter. 

I hate drama. And I truly mean that from the bottom depth of my soul. I'm always here to listen to a friend/family member vent about their problems, but I don't voluntarily go in search of it. I rather like my peaceful, little existence and don't see the point in complicating things. Oh, having trouble with your cheating/unappreciative/psychotic/paranoid significant other? Well, let's not do the rash thing and break up with them so you can find happiness in the future. No, let's stick it out for another three or four years so that when the unavoidable implosion that is our lives comes to a head it's all that more ugly, emotional, and terrible. Makes alot of sense, huh? No.

I don't curl my hair and wear make-up every single day. I hardly even get out of sweatpants, loose tee shirts, or cotton shorts on weekends. Monday through Fridays {except on the days that the sun has smiled upon me and we don't have work on one of those days} I usually make myself acceptable looking. But then I have days like today where I felt that my morning time was better spent standing under hot water in the shower. And then I look like I do right now. No make-up sans for the leftover eyeliner from yesterday, and a messy version of hair that's so bad it can't even be considered a "messy bun". No, it's just it's very own mess. I didn't even fully brush it, because it just wasn't happening.

Also, I do not own a copy of the movie The Notebook. I know, if none of the other things got me, that one definitely will.

I'm living in the surreal house.

When I decided to uproot my entire life and move to Indiana I had some things going on that felt like they needed dealt with. My way of dealing with them? Saying- the hell with this!! And moving on. So, I did just that. And it worked. But it still feels a bit surreal to me. It's been two years this month, and for some strange reason it doesn't feel like I'm actually living here to me.

Don't get me wrong, it's great to be surrounded by family and for things to be more offset than they have been in a very long time, but still, there's something. Something that I just can't quite put my finger on. You would think after two years that it would be pretty well sunken in, but it's just not. It still feels off or something.

Maybe it's because I keep waking up expecting to walk outside and see a back road instead of a busy one. Maybe it's because I keep expecting to run into an old friend of mine at the gas station, that is inevitably never there. Maybe it's because I still expect to get out of bed, put on a pair of scrubs and head off to help someone ready for their third dialysis appointment of the week. I don't know. I just don't know.

I'm happy here. I'm content. I love my peaceful, little, undramatic existence. And I love the fact that I get to spend so much time with my mother, brother, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I love that Momma and I have a little apartment that we can call our own, and that Tayder is still lugging around and giving me snuggles when I need them.

But it's weird. It's weird going to a job completely out of my element. It's weird writing letters or sending text messages instead of seeing my friends. It's weird not having Grammy to talk to about stories that only a grandmother knows and to give me a hug. It's strange to me that all of this still hasn't sunk in for me.

I think it has something to do with the fact that I don't have my memories here. I mean, I have a few from when I was a little girl, but for the most part I was raised far away. I had my own friends, my own way I handled things, and I grew up in a way that others wouldn't necessarily find proper. And I love that. I love that I got to grow up somewhere that allowed me to form and find my own sense of self. I love the person that I am.

I'm not the best, but I'm not the worst by any means. When I love, I love with my whole heart. And when something makes me sad, I cry real tears. When I'm happy, I laugh, and sometimes I just can't quit. When I'm mad, I say why I'm mad out loud, and I don't sugar coat any of it. I have no filter and if i think it or feel it, you can pretty well guarantee that the world will soon know about it too.

And it's just me. It's just who I am. and right now, it just so happens that everything feels a little off key for me. But, it's ok, because it will all be figured out soon enough. Sometimes it just takes my mind a few extra minutes to catch up as opposed to the rest of me. Afterall, it's still trying to get used to these Indiana winters.

#Movingishard

Don't you just love that you can literally hashtag anything these days? No? Just me? Whatevs, I love it. So, as most of you know, Momma and I recently moved into our own apartment after living with my two uncles and little cousin for going on two years. And while that was fun {to begin with, but then one uncle became increasingly grumpy, and the kid turned into a teenager aka- jerk}, it's very nice to have our own place again. But I have made a discovery.

We've moved a million {figuratively} times in my life, and we always kind of liked to say that we considered ourselves nomads. It always made us sound cool, you know, to us. But now we have discovered that we detest moving, because it's hard, and if I'm being perfectly honest, neither one of us is getting any younger. Thank goodness that we had family that helped out with the whole process, but there are certain things that you kind of just have to do. We like to refer to it as- Lone Rangering it. Basically because, I love the new Lone Ranger movie. Yeah, I said it, WHAT ABOUT IT?!! That was a great movie and you know it. Sorry, back to the actual point.

I put in to have off yesterday like a month ago {before we knew we were moving- it all happened so fast}, but it just all kind of worked out, so I've just come off of a three day weekend. Don't worry, it wasn't as glamorous as it sounds. It was a whole lot of unpacking, putting up, arranging, then re-arranging, putting together furniture, and on and on and on. It's been really hard, but it's also been amazing to have our own space again. Tayder is loving it to.

Also, we finally have cable, and not only did I get to catch up on my Sons of Anarchy and Chicago PD watching {Thank you, Demand}, but we got to watch Dog the Bounty Hunter and like five episodes of Wahlburgers, which makes me happy, because Donnie Wahlberg is AMAZING. And I finally learned who sings the song- Classic, and I can't quit singing it, because it's awesome. Just listen to it you're welcome.

How many times can you rob the same car, bitch?!

Ok, everyone who has ever seen my car has something to say about it. I mean, I love it. It's been the greatest car that you could ever ask for and it's been with us for about five or six years. And I paid $49 for it. Yes, you read that right. $49. That's it. In other words, I love that damn thing. But I'm not one to try to make something that it's just not. It might be priceless to me, but you can clearly look at it and tell that I'm not exactly rolling in the cash.

Case in point, my car is three different colors. Four if you count dirt as a color. But without the dirt, three. It is originally red, however it had been wrecked on the driver's side before I got it, so the driver's side fender is white, while the front-end-bra {I know, I giggle every time I say my car wears a bra too}of it is black. Still with me? The white fender also doesn't fit as correctly as it should, so I have it zip tied how it should be. Assisting that there is duct tape holding on the driver's side mirror. Yes, duct tape. Granted the duct tape is red and black so it matches {That's all momma, I straight up had original silver duct tape on that shit}, but still, it's duct tape. Also, the bra {giggles} is cracked down the front so I have it gorilla glued together. Why? Because I'm nothing if not frugal. I don't care what my car looks like, appearances don't mean jack to me, no matter what it may look like to other people, it's a GREAT CAR and I LOVE it.

With all of that being said, not long after we moved to Indiana someone broke into our car {I say broke in to, but just know I don't leave my car locked, because it has no alarm and broken windows are expensive} and took whatever there was in there. Just a bunch of random shit that you wouldn't think of anyone taking. They broke my glove box and stole the center thing that sits in between the seats {change console?} Yes, the whole thing. It had pennies. Now, pennies add up, but in their haste they managed to leave like seven dollars that I had spaced right through leaving in the console. A couple Cd's were gone, but they were my ex's that I had been meaning to throw out {he had dumb taste in music}, so I was like whatevs. Basically, there was just nothing of value in it. And that seemed to piss them off, because like I said they broke my glove box, AND THEN threw papers and napkins all over the place. Ooohhh, that'll show me. Seriously, though?! Seriously? My car is three different colors with glue, duct tape, and zip ties, did you think we were storing our freaking rubies in there or something? Dumbass.

Since then the same thing has happened to our car somewhere around four more times, but nothing is ever stolen, because we have nothing to steal. HELLO, WE'RE POOR. What I love about all of this is we've become so accustomed to it that we're just like whatevs, someone was in the car. {Did I tell y'all that I'm pretty sure that there has been a hobo sleeping and eating french fries in the back seat?}. I assume that it's the same people doing it, because it's always "ransacked" the same and they end up getting pissed off and throwing napkins everywhere {are they bringing these napkins with them to throw when they're angry?}, because there's nothing in there to take. {You've been our car like five times, if we're still storing "valuables" in there, we deserve to be robbed}. Also, they leave my Cd's, because obviously THEY have HORRIBLE taste in music. Buddy Holly is a legend and how dare you not consider him good enough to steal! Lord forbid instead of getting in peoples cars to destroy them, throw paper everywhere, and try to steal them that you actually go to bed at night {or during the day} and be productive by like, oh I don't know, getting a freakin' job?! By the way, you guys are bitches. Wnd rant. {Also, read this, because it made me laugh so hard, and it sounds just like the inside of my head}.

Nifty fifty and as beautiful as ever!!

Today is Momma's 50th birthday. I know that a lot of people, they say women in particular which I don't think is true, have a real hard time getting older. Momma didn't seem to have a problem with turning 50. That was until I said to her- Hey! Do you know on my next birthday I'll be the same age as you were when you had me? That's when things got awkward. Kidding. But I just wanted to let the world (and Momma) know that I'm very proud of her, I love her, she is still my most trusted confidant, and my truest friend. I wouldn't trade our relationship for anything in the world. Momma, you are my heart and I love you. Happy Birthday, beautiful lady!!

Mom, you're a wonderful mother, so gentle, yet so strong. The many ways you show you care, always make me feel I belong. You're patient when I'm foolish; you give guidance when I ask; it seems you can do most anything; you're the master of every task. You're a dependable source of comfort; you're my cushion when I fall. You help in times of trouble; you support me whenever I call. I love you more than you know; you have my total respect. If I had my choice of mothers, you'd be the one I'd select! -Joanna Fuchs

I may not be good at sports, BUT I am a good sport.

Yesterday, I was minding my own business. I had been perfectly lovely all day, and when I got off of work we went home to just relax. Relaxing is nice. Especially since we've been doing a million different little things, and this girl hasn't really been sleeping all that much. But I digress. I was in my comfy night shirt with no pants on when my phone went off informing me that my Aunt Susi had tagged me in a video on Facebook. Well, guess what? She tagged me in a damn video, because she did the #icebucketchallenge to raise funds and awareness for #ALS research. Thanks a lot for that, by the way. What says relax like having a giant bucket of ice water poured over your head, right? But it's for a good cause, and great research is being done, so if it helps even raise a little bit more, why not?!

So, that's what I did. Cricket ended up doing it with me (same video), because she had been challenged by two different people, (remember?) and since I was already doing it, we figured we would just team up to kill two birds with one stone, because you know, global water crisis. Momma wanted to film it, Uncle Jim wanted to douse us in the ice water, Kenny wanted to point and laugh, hell even Tayder got in on the action when he accidentally got soaked, because he wanted to see what his mom was doing. It was too much fun.

It's been extremely hot these past couple of weeks, so hot that at one point I would have considered shaving my head if I thought that it would've helped. Yeah, that hot. We're talking boob sweat city around these here parts. I haven't even fixed my hair or wore makeup in almost two weeks. Why bother with all this humidity? I'm just saying. I challenged Charlie, Betty Lynn, and Uncle Darrell, but Uncle Darrell got all offended and was like- "What about our Veterans?!" And I was like- "Nope. I'm not having that conversation/argument, because I think that we should all try to help everybody out, so I untagged him and deleted his comments, that way when someone liked or commented on it, it wouldn't bother him. I like my life peaceful, anything I can do to eliminate stress- I'm there! So, anyways, the video is on Momma's phone and my phone, but I don't know how to share it from my Facebook to my blog or from my phone to my blog, or anything like that, but if I figure it out, I'll be sure to include in a little bit!

I made peanut butter fudge.

Well, my friends, here it is Monday morning. And by Monday morning, I mean Monday afternoon, because I'm an adult and have to do responsible things like get out of bed, brush my teeth and hair, and work. Ok, maybe I don't exactly always brush my hair. And maybe I'm really like a seven year old at heart, but you know what I mean. Being an adult is the WORST. But enough about all of that.

I personally don't have anything against Mondays or anything. To me, it's just another day. Just like any other ole day. The way I figure it, if you hate Mondays that bad, just use your vacation days for all of the Mondays. But then people would complain that they don't have any more vacation days, because you just can't please some people. You know how it goes.

#TeamSpike Even after all of these years.

What did y'all do this weekend? Me? I did a whole lot of nothing. Seriously. I wish that I had some awesome stories to share with you, but that's just not the case. It's been rainy and gross. Frankly, it's just a bit disgusting, and puts me in a blah mood. But I'm sure I'm not the only one. I don't even really remember what I did Friday, probably nothing of substance, or I would remember it. I do recall not being able to sleep, so I stayed up late drinking and watching the show- Mom. Hilarious, by the way. I love it. And Deadly Women. Because, why not? I watch those shows all the time. Oh! By the way, Janya got moved from kindergarten to first grade, I assume because she is a genius, so- YAY! Congrats to Jayna and Dani (and Chris).

Saturday Momma and I ran to the grocery store and then came home. That was it. I'm telling you, it's really bad out. Then yesterday we ran over to Aunt Poot and Uncle Darrell's for a little bit, and Joshie took me up to Speedway to fill up my awesome ginormous jug, and then we went back home again. Bro and Shelley asked me if i wanted to get out Saturday and I just didn't want to. I didn't feel like doing a dang thing. So, I didn't.

Yesterday I watched part of the #BreakingBadBinge and recorded the rest of it, and also watched a documentary on Jim Morrison, because I mean, come on, it's Jim freakin' Morrison. Who doesn't love Jim Morrison? Just watching that documentary I wanted to go get a lizard wearing a crown tattoo. And if you don't understand that reference, then don't talk to me.    

Also, Saturday night I may, or may not have had popped one of my sleeping pills on top of some sinus meds and wine, and ended up making fudge at midnight, watched The Disappearance of Alice Creed, taught Shylyn how to trade/barter, plus make her draw my 'future tattoo', and finished by watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. I'll never tell you. But for the record that fudge was the bomb and I'm still 100% #TeamSpike all the way. Yes, even after all of these years. Angel can suck it, unless he's Booth. Then he's awesome. Ok, that's all I got. I'm sorry that this was absolutely nothing of substance. Lastly, if you want to know what in the hell is going on in all of those random photos of me, you can go check out my Instagram page and it will tell you all about it.    

I need Boonesfarm, Candy, Tacos, and Philadelphia.

Am I the only one that is SUPER excited that it's the weekend? I mean, I don't have any plans. None whatsoever, but it's still the weekend!! That means reading, binge watching TV, eating a bunch of junk while watching movies, leaving the shades drawn, and most importantly- NOT WEARING PANTS. Can you tell that Momma and I have the house to ourselves this weekend? I get a little bit excited when that happens.

We may venture out for just a little while to see one of my aunts (probably Poot, because she's just right around the corner- and yes I call one of my aunts Aunt Poot- just deal), or to get something entirely unhealthy to eat, but mostly we'll just stay in and watch TV. Or I'll read. And she'll be on her computer. And I'll cuddle with Tayder. Basically, a bunch of things that other people would consider lazy and boring, but what I see as heaven. 

For a long time I never did rest. I was always go, go, go. And I know what you're thinking and possibly even saying out loud. You're thinking/saying- "Katie! You are a 24 year old woman. You can go and go and act your age". To all of you people I say- You're right. I could very much go out and party. Or I could just go out and hang out with people my age and do all sorts of things. I'm young, I'm relatively healthy, and even though I'm nowhere near beautiful, I think that I may be decent enough to where when people look at me they don't want to throw up in their mouths. But anyone that knows me also knows that I do what I want.

If I wanted to go out and do things then I would. And I do when I want to. But I also like staying home and reading or watching TV. Sometimes I like not putting on makeup or brushing my hair. I've done the go out and party, "social" thing and I learned that it's just not me. I don't like it. And why do something that I don't like? I see no logical reason to.

Oh, let me tell y'all the conversation that I had with the cashier at the store yesterday evening. I was minding my own business and just stopped by the store to pick up some deodorant and cereal (I know it's a weird combo, but move past it) and we were browsing, minding our own business. You know trying to recover from the massive amounts of Mexican food that we had just eaten. After we were done we headed up to check out and this conversation ensued. (Confession: Yes, I do wear men's deodorant. What? Some girls sweat more than others and not all of us want to smell like a damn flower or piece of fruit!)

Cashier: This stuff is great! I get my husband the same thing, he works in construction and boy can he get smelly. Me: Yeah. This is mine. Cashier: Yours? Not your husbands? Why? Me: Because buying deodorant for my non-existent husband would be dumb. Cashier: No, I mean why do you wear men's deodorant? Me: Because it works a whole lot better than women's, and just because I don't have a husband doesn't mean that I want to smell. Cashier: Well played. Here's a coupon.

With all of that being said I would like to say I'm gonna have to hop off of here, because unfortunately I have to be an adult for a few hours. Bluck! I hope y'all have a great weekend! I wish I had more for you today, but I just don't have it in me. Remember yesterday when I said that I need to eat and take a nap? Well, I'm not exactly sure what's wrong with me, but I'm still not fully recovered. All I know is when I get off of work, God willing, I'm going home, the pants are coming off, I'm eating leftover shrimp tacos and pizza while drinking Boonesfarm, and watching It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia and Savages.

Filled with staccato bursts of humor and tragedy.

Hello my people. I don't really think that you are "my people" but you're obviously a little bit of the kind of people that I like to surround myself with, so hello!! If you're wondering, I like to surround myself with great, funny, kind people that totally get my weird sense of humor, and just let me ramble. Sound familiar?

Anyways, I wanted to share with y'all the fact that I read a book this weekend. I know that I read a lot, so this shouldn't come as any surprise, but I literally bought the book late Friday evening and stayed up until late last night to finish it. Yes, my little old lady self stayed up late on a Sunday night and still managed to get up and come to work ON TIME. Booyah!! I would've been done with it quite a bit sooner, but unfortunately I had things like going to family functions, some work, eating, sleeping, and showering that to had to be done. You know, normal people things. But I loved it so much, and became so engrossed in it that I just couldn't stop until I had finished it. The book that I'm speaking of?

The Fault In Our Stars.

Yes, I know that I'm a bit late to the party, but you know, better late than pregnant. Unless you want to be pregnant. In which case congratulations and good luck to you! Godspeed!! But me? No. Babies can smell my fear. But, seriously? This book y'all! I had heard many good things about it, but mostly I had heard wonderful things about the movie. I wanted to give it a try, but just like anything else I wanted to form my own opinion about it. Even though the hype is still ridiculous (because of the movie) I decided that it was just time to break down and get the book. I wanted to read it that bad. Y'all it was SO good. And SO sad. If you haven't read it yet, then be aware- SPOILER ALERTS!!

I knew that someone was going to pass away. Then after everyone on the planet seemed to read the book or watch the movie, I knew that it was going to be Augustus. I was prepared for this. I was prepared to feel sad when this happened. However, I was not prepared to feel as sad as I did and to cry. Yes, I admit it. I cried. Not horrible, sobbing, ugly crying, but crying nonetheless. But I didn't just cry when Augustus passed away. I cried long before that, and long after that. It was the way the story was told that actually got me.

John Green makes you fall in love with these characters. Not just one, but all of them. You fall in love with Hazel, Augustus, and Issac. You come to love the parents, Van Houten, and Lidewij. You even love Dr. Maria for acknowledging the fact that even though Hazel has cancer, she is still a young woman. She wants to experience things while she still has time left. She wants to see things and feel things. She wants to be a sixteen year old girl. She knows that she has cancer, and she doesn't deny that it's killing her. None of that information is new to her. But once she meets Augustus and realizes what's out there, she wants to live while she's still alive. This made me cry, but it also made me laugh. It made me laugh quite a bit actually. And it made me think. Have you ever read one of those books that just make you think? I found myself stopping in the middle of a sentence just to think something through. And I loved it.

It's an amazing book. I would/will recommend it to any and everyone that I possibly can. I'm sure the movie is fantastic to, but the book? Oh, I just don't think that it can be beat. Many people hated John Green after they read this or watched the movie. Don't worry, I was cussing him a bit too, but honestly he did it right. He told this epic lovestory that gets interrupted by sickness and eventually comes to an end with death. He told the story that no one else wants to tell. The true story. The truth is people we love get sick. People we love pass away. Even though we would love that not to be true, it is. And not all the time is it pretty. Not everyone gets to pass away at the ripe old age of 98, peacefully in their sleep surrounded by all of their loved ones. Sometimes, people suffer and others have to see the person they love go through things that they never thought imaginable. But their life? How they live and love while they're still with us? Now, that my friends is the real story.

In case you were wondering, I am one of those people that believes in love. True love. Great love. I don't pretend to know it, but I believe it. I believe that it's there. And if we're lucky enough to find it in life, then we only find it once. You can love more than one person. You can love a hundred different people. All with a different kind of love varying from mother to child. Child to friend. Friend to enemy. You can love with everything to everyone. But to be IN love? Now that my friend is something entirely different. And that's what this book shows. It shows great love. From beginning to end, and all that is in between. Love, understanding, suffering, perseverance, honesty, integrity, and great sadness. Be prepared. You will be sad, but it is more than worth it. Read it. Right now. And thank John Green for sharing the story with us.

Yeah, well, screw it, I'm too tired for titles.

Remember yesterday when I vaguely mentioned that I had a toothache that I was going to the dentist today to have taken care of? I think I may have in passing mentioned that I had resorted to eating Tylenol for lunch and was going to bed at seven, not to sleep, but just so that I could lay on the heated beanbag. (Again, not dirty). Yeah, well, last night things escalated.

I was in a normal amount of pain by the time I got off of work. I have a pretty high pain tolerance, for the most part, so I was taking it like a champ. I mean, I complained a lot little, but I was being an adult about it. I went to the grocery store, did the things around the house that needed done, went back out to the store to get cat food, showered and took a seat to watch some TV. Question?! Does anyone know how hard it is to eat when you can only chew on one side and you can't fully chomp down, because it hurts the other side? I do. It took me 45 minutes to eat a burger last night and I finally just gave up.

I went to bed and that's when the real horror started. Miserable, party of one, right here. My mouth hurt so bad that at one point I'm pretty sure that I just had lockjaw and I wanted to saw the whole left side of my head off. Yes. The entire head. I bet I got a total of 45 minutes of sleep last night and boy am I paying for it this morning. Hell, I paid for it then too.

Do you ever notice that when you're in pain, or can't sleep, or both how everything annoys you? See, my uncles have about 20 clocks (yes, the rest of us know how excessive this is) in their house that go off every hour and half hour at one minute intervals. This has never really bothered me. I guess I'm just used to it or something. But last night. Last night, they were annoying. No, they were mocking me is what they were doing. Mocking me, I say.

12:00 a.m.- Ding. Man, I never realized that these clocks went off so much.
12:30 a.m.- Dong. They go off every half hour too?
1:00 a.m.- Ding. You're not sleeping.
1:30 a.m.- Dong. You're still not sleeping.
2:00 a.m.- Ding. I'm in so much pain right now. SO MUCH.
2:30 a.m.- Dong. AHHH!!
3:00 a.m.- Ding. You're not going to sleep at all.
3:30 a.m.- Dong. You're just going to hurt for the rest of your life.
4:00 a.m.- Ding. These clocks are mocking me. They are seriously mocking me.
4:30 a.m.- Dong. If I had a meat mallet or a chainsaw right now, the left side of my head would be gone right now.
5:00 a.m.- Ding. (time to get up for work). I f*@$#^g hate clocks.

So as you can see I'm a bit tired and irritable today. Plus, I'm still wanting to cut off half of my head. So you know, there's that. All people annoy me right now and I'm about four seconds away from losing my sunny disposition. I've tried to take my mind off of all of this. You know, entertain myself so as to not think about it. So far I've managed to do all of my work. I got a message from my friend Sunshine discussing ninjas, prison, and fires. I've talked to Dani about her crazy in-laws. I've FB stalked 's mom, I'm still not really sure why, but I assume it has something to do with me thinking about D when I was unable to sleep last night. I wonder how he's doing. And I've made a mental note of all of the clothes that I would love to be able to wear, but am too fat to actually wear. Also, I'm super annoyed with all things that involve the opposite gender today. Why? Why should you be so nice? Just leave. Me. Alone. 

I never thought that I would say this, but I'm beyond glad that I go to the Dentist today. If she doesn't immediately rip this tooth out of my head, I'll probably just commandeer all of her instruments and do it myself. Not sure if that will work out in my favor, but I guess we'll see.

It's day.

20 Since Momma was put into the hospital, and I think that I might have had a slight nervous breakdown and/or panic attack. But I kept my cool and slowly but surely Momma is getting better and better. Yay!! 964 Since I left my old life behind in Tennessee and decided to move to Indiana to start over. I have to say that I'm extremely glad that I made that decision. 7 Since I decided that I may or may not want to let my guard down just a little bit and now I would just like it if they would allow things to go completely my way. 8857 Since the cutest tiny little dark-haired baby was born and her Momma held her so tight that she could have burst. Spoiler alert- that little dark-haired baby was me. 19 Since I've smoked a cigarette. Only twenty-one days to break a habit, right? 2080 Since I met and fell in love with SOA. 1 Since I talked to my old friend that isn't even really my friend anymore. We fell apart, but I'm trying to be the bigger person, so when she seemed upset I messaged to check. I guess karma really is a bitch. 437 Since I started this whole blogging thing. 961 Since I've been single. And that decision? Possibly in the top five best decisions that I've ever made. I'm going for no more jerks for me anymore. Only nice guys. 2185 Since I graduated high school. How old am I sounding right now? 176 Since Austin Winkler left Hinder. 589 Since I started the job that I am at now. 263 Since Nsync reunited for a tribute to Justin Timberlake at the 2013 MTV video music awards, resulting in my inner tween heart doing somersaults. Since that's the only way I can do somersaults. 4166 Since I went to the theater to see Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. And I still love it, even to this day. #NerdLife. 579 Since I decided to chop my long hair off, and immediately regretted chopping all of my hair off.   

*Please note that some of these dates may not be entirely accurate, but it's my best guesstimate work.

This is why

[Let me be frank. Plus, I love the name Frank. Sorry.] I haven't dated in a really long time. The last relationship that I was in really did a number on me, for the plain fact that it made me look at things and re-evaluate the decisions that I had been making in that department. After I broke up with him and moved, I decided that I wouldn't date for awhile. I thought to myself- I'll just take some "me" time, there is no since in rushing into anything. I'm not ready for it, nor do I want it. I want to figure out what I want out of a relationship, or if I even want one at all. To me, those are important decisions that one should ask their self.

That was nearly two years ago. I still ask myself those questions and I'm no closer to finding the answer. It has nothing to do with the idiot that I was with, because Lord knows I don't think about him unless someone brings him up, but rather the fact that I want to make the right decisions in my future relationships. I don't want to date someone just so I can be one of those girls that has a boyfriend. I don't want to give up things that I love and do things that I don't want to do. Maybe that sounds spoiled and I'm being completely irrational, but that's how I feel.

I'm not saying that's what all relationships are like. I'm not that jaded. But there are a lot of people that change and completely lose their own identities when they're with someone else. I don't want to be one of those people. I might not have everything figured out. Actually, far from it, but I do know what I do and do not want.

Be prepared. I'm about to sound like a completely horrible person. Sorry, but I'm not sorry. 

I don't want to live with someone. I think that people should have to live together before marriage to see if they're compatible. Just my opinion. Well, I've done the whole living together thing on two separate occasions. You know what I learned? I learned that I don't like living with my significant other. Nope. I don't like the idea of waking up with them every single morning, and seeing them every single day, and going to bed looking at them every night. Sorry, I just can't do it. It's not in me. If I really like that person and love spending time with them, then that is great! However, I like my own personal time, alone, to do what I like to do. I like going where I please, when I please, and not having to "check in" with someone when I do.

I don't want to get married. Let's talk marriage, shall we? I don't like the idea of it. For me. I think for certain people marriage is a lovely, healthy, wonderful thing. Sometimes the universe can't have made two people more perfect to be married to each other. But me? I have no desire to be married. I never have. You know how they talk about little girls planning their weddings with barbies and coloring books? I was not one of those little girls. I was the other little girl that was running after her big brother and his friends, because they would all piggy back me. I didn't want to marry them, I just wanted them to carry my chunky little butt around. Like I said you should live together before marriage, and I don't like the thought of either.

I don't want kids. I know, I know. The entire universe just came together for one collective gasp of horror. But I'm just speaking the truth here. I'm not a kid kind of person. I came to terms with this fact a long time ago. I'm not one of those women that's "motherly instinct" kicks in at any given moment. In fact when a kid is hurt and they need help, I don't leave them laying there bleeding or anything, but my first thought is- "How would we fix this in the nursing home?" I try to be good with them, I really do, but I'm just not. I can barely keep my own shit together and remember to wear pants. Add to that? No, thanks. I want to be able to go home to relax in my pjs and watch TV.  

I've done the dating thing and the relationship thing. I don't seem to be very good at either. I've tried and put a lot of effort in. But every time I think about getting super serious with someone I panic. Literally, panic. One time I was talking to a friend of mine at work about it and puked and had a full blown panic attack. Why? Because the prospect of it was so daunting and overwhelming. She said it's because I've never really been in love.

All I know is I know what I want. Finding that? Completely different story. I want someone that's sweet, kind, caring, compassionate, honest and really into me. Is that so much to ask? I don't go for looks. Looks fade and then you're stuck with an asshole the rest of your life. Looks are over-rated in my opinion. I don't care nothing for them when it comes to dating. I mean, I'm not exactly what you would call attractive, so why should I think someone else should look like Jude Law? I don't. Maybe I'm weird, I don't know, but I could care less what someone looks like. However, finding those other traits in a guy is impossible too. I basically just want someone who wants to hang out, watch TV and have sex with only me. Among other things. Is that so much to ask for? Apparently, it is.  

Why am I telling y'all all of this? I should really stop, but I can't.

Now, if you get passed all of that stuff I'm an even bigger mess. Remember when I said that I'm a horrible dater? I was not exaggerating. I really, truly am. I get super nervous and about fifty million questions run through my head. Questions like: What if he's a serial killer? Hey, you laugh, but it's a real thing. Ever watched Criminal Minds? Read about BTK? Googled the Craigslist killer? I don't care how well you think you know a person, looks can be extremely deceiving. What do I wear? Everyone knows that I'm not exactly the most fashion forward girl for my age. Maybe it's from where I haven't dated that much, but I have no clue what to wear on one. Is jeans to casual? Is a dress too much? Flats? Heels? Well, I can't wear heels anyways, but still. Like I said, I'm not what you would call "attractive" anyways, so what the hell do you wear? Can I order the fajitas instead of a salad? I like salad. Salad is delicious and nutritious, and I could eat it all the time. But say we're out and the restaurant had shrimp fajitas. I love shrimp fajitas. So, can I order them without being overly-judged, or is the proper thing to do mean ordering the salad? What's the ladylike thing for this particular impasse?  

Do I pay for the date? I know that traditionally the guy pays for the date. I've read enough books and watched enough movies to know all of that. However, all the guys (which isn't that many) that I've dated (except one) had me pay. So, have I just dated a bunch of losers? Or are the girls supposed to pay for everything now? I mean, I don't want to seem horrible, and I don't mind paying my way, but I was always told growing up by everyone that that's the guy's thing. I also don't want him to feel weird, so what do I do? If we "hit it off" and I'm into him, how soon is "too soon" so I don't look like a skank? Like I said, ladylike. However, it's been a really, really long time. TMI? I know what I look like naked, it's not very appealing. Can I ask to keep the lights out? I see me naked everyday. A couple times a day actually, and I don't see anything impressive and/or appealing, so what's the guidelines on this? What? Can I ask to keep the lights out? Turn the lights out? Or wing it? Do I let them see everything? I'm not ok with that. I get nervous just thinking about it. No, thank you. How much do I tell him? I can't believe I'm about to admit this, but I mean, why stop now, right? Like I said, I've dated. But I'm not exactly that "experienced" if you catch my drift. I'm sure you do by now. I mean, I've been told that everything I do is great, but I don't really know. I was a late bloomer and get embarrassed when it comes to my own situations, so what? Do I tell them that or do I just wing it and let them think what they will? Further more, should I read up on this stuff? Or something?

If I could just find a real nice guy that I could hang out with and be real good friends with, that would be great. I don't think that's gonna happen either though. So?

The worst three days of my life.

Last week I noticed that Momma's face looked a bit funny. No, I'm not being mean, I'm being completely serious. Something was just not right. I told her that she had two choices. One) She could call her doctor and get in- immediately...or... Two) I was taking her to the ER- immediately. Those were the only two options. She called her doctor and went in, and they sent her over to have an MRI. The MRI came back and said that she was fine, but they diagnosed her with bell's palsy, which however inconvenient, is not serious or life threatening. We were relieved and happy. That was all on Thursday.

Friday- April 25:
I was at work doing the deposits when I answered the phone. They asked for me by my full first name, and the only thing that I could think was that I was in trouble, because the only time someone uses my full name is when I'm either in trouble or it's one of the people I grew up with. I knew that they weren't calling. It was Momma's doctor. Doc: Have you seen your mother in the last 24 hours? Me: Yes. I saw her around two/three hours ago. Why? Doc: Well, you need to go to her and take her to the ER immediately, because we found abnormalities on her MRI. Me: What?!! Umph!! *$@!#$!! Doc: Now, don't panic, we just need to do this precautionary. Me: You do not start a conversation like that! You start with don't panic! So I called Momma and told her that I was headed home, Danielle took me (thank you Dani) and when I got there I told her that we were going to the ER- NOW. I woke Jim up and off we went. I was a nervous wreck and I know that Momma was to, but she wasn't letting it show. We were admitted into the ER and they hooked her up to the monitor. A million different doctors and nurses came in and out and after three grueling hours we were informed that she had in fact had a stroke. It was so scary and like everything came crashing down. I immediately reverted back to the nursing home and started thinking off side effects, therapy, and everything else that accompanies stroke patients. She was admitted into the hospital and they took us to her room. She had another MRI, and we were told that over the next couple of days that she would have more testing done. After that we basically just hung out in her room and tried to relax. Like that was going to happen. People came to visit and by the time the evening rolled around it was just me and her there. I wasn't going anywhere without her. She wasn't aloud to walk a lot, because of her medicine, so we did the only thing that there was to do. Watch TV. A night of The Back-up Plan, Sheldon, and Rob Dyrdek.

Saturday- April 26:
After a sleepless night, there was more testing to be done. We were informed that she wasn't going to get to go home for at least another day and that things were looking bad, but a little better. I know, right? Talk about ass backwards. After having an ultrasound on her neck, another MRI, a CT Scan, and having about 23 tubes of blood taken, she was pretty beat. I tried to bring her spirits up, and it seemed to work. I even drew on the pain scale board. You know the board that shows you the different faces raking pain from one to ten? Yeah, that one. It made her smile and laugh and I was so happy to see that. Her face was still drawn and her balance shaky, but all in all she was doing pretty good. We met with the neurologist and physical/occupational therapists. We were told that she had had a stroke on the left side, and also had bell's palsy on the right. Talk about a double whammy. She was of course wore out and wanted to go home immediately, but i talked her down and told her that she couldn't go anywhere until we figured everything out. Kenny and Jim came to visit us later that evening and Momma made me go with Jim to get Taco Bell. She also made me promise to bring her back a taco, because hospital food- yuck. After all of that, I helped mom take her shower like I had the night before and settled her in. We watched Tangled, some other random shows, and of course more Sheldon. Sheldon always makes Momma feel better.

Sunday- April 27:
This was the day that we would finally get some real answers. Although we knew that she had a stroke we weren't exactly sure to what extent the damage had went. She had to have a heart ultrasound done, to make sure that there were also no blockages anywhere in her body. Aunt Susi and Uncle Roger came to visit (hi guys!). They stayed for awhile and we all talked it out. I had helped Momma with her shower earlier and braided her hair, so needless to say she was feeling pretty fancy :) A little bit later the neurologist came in and talked to us about her condition. Thankfully the stroke was minor and hadn't done to much damage. Unfortunately some spots appeared on the MRI(S) that looked as though they could be multiple sclerosis (MS), but not necessarily, so she has to go back for a follow-up with the physicians. However, they discharged her home and she was out of there like she had been in Alcatraz for thirty years. Aunt Susi told me to take one of my vacation days for Monday so I could stay home and get some rest. (Thanks, Aunt Susi).

I'm back at work today. Momma is feeling better and we're pretty optimistic. Even though I'm worried every minute of every day, but I don't tell anyone that, because then they'll worry, and they don't need to do that. Also, Aunt Susi is picking me up for work (thank you again!!) and she has enough on her plate as it is. So here I sit. Telling you that those three days were the worst of my life. I was scared and felt beyond helpless. You never imagine something happening to your loved ones until it does. To me my Momma is the strongest, greatest woman that I have ever known, and to see her like that is mind boggling. She keeps telling me that I don't have to be the strong one. But I do. I have to be the strong one for her. I know that we have a long way to go, but knowing that she's going to be ok lifts a giant weight of worry off my brain. Does that make sense? So here we go. Take all of her meds. Check. (Both of us) Quit smoking. DOUBLE-CHECK. Making her as healthy and able as possible. We're on it. I'm just happy that she's not going anywhere for a long, long time.

I would look good (not really, but go with it) if I knew it all

As a girl we are expected to be able to juggle many things at one time. A whole lot. We are supposed to be able to juggle a family, a job, extracurricular activities, and look really good while we do it. People are always telling us to have our hair done, our makeup applied, and dress like we're gonna meet the love of our life every day. We are supposed to look our best selves- AT. ALL. TIMES.

With that being said, let's be honest for a minute. I don't have the time, effort, nor the energy to be doing all of that everyday. I commend the women who do/can, but I am just not one of those girls. And I don't even have kids or husband/boyfriend (I can feel you judging me right now). So if I did I would be an even bigger mess than I already am. And that's saying a LOT. To put it as blunt and honest as possible- I am a BIG OLE MESS. And that's being gentle. There really and truly are no words for it.

(I just wanted an excuse to show y'all a picture of me and Tayder!!)

Hats are my friend. I like to wear sweatpants and leggings with baggy t-shirts. And I don't care who has a problem with it. I've always been comfort over style, and I don't foresee it changing anytime soon. Don't get me wrong I like to dress cute, and I don't wear sweats at work or anything, but at home or going to the store I look like a hobo. I hardly ever wear makeup on the weekends, and if I didn't work in an office where I'm meant to look at least presentable I probably wouldn't on weekdays. I love makeup, but it takes so much time to apply right. 

And my hair? HA! Let's talk about my hair for a minute. I got it cut and colored about a month and a half/two months ago and I love it. However, that doesn't keep me from wearing it up in a ponytail/messy bun thing (and by messy bun I don't mean the cute ones either, I mean just messy). My hair is naturally wavy, so in order to fix it and make it look good I first have to blow it out and then straighten and/or curl it. Do you know how time consuming this is? Don't get me wrong , I have the time, but to be perfectly honest I'm lazy and even though I want to look good, I don't want to put forth the effort. I know, I'm horrible. Sorry, but not sorry. With all of this being said I would like to put something else out there. There are certain things that a girl can do to improve her looks immensely, and if I knew how to do them then I would look so much better. I think I forever look like a hobo though. I like my hobo ways :) Don't get me wrong, I've tried to do these things, but just can't seem to comprehend or get the hang of these things. Number one would be putting together cute outfits and wearing them all of the time. I try to do this, but I fail miserably. And it's EPIC. Sometimes I end up looking like Liza and weird Al's love child. Like I said- EPIC.

Is it Fat Tuesday or Pancake Day??!

Today we celebrate Mardi Gras. When people think Mardi Gras they think beads, boos, and boobs. Not necessarily in that order. You know I'm right.

However, for those of us that don't live in awesome New Orleans (I'm assuming that it's completely awesome, I don't know for sure because I've never been, but I think it's a safe bet) we celebrate with cake. And beads. And we still have to go to work, because- Hello! No one else is paying the bills people.

 Don't judge. Just because I get cake for breakfast doesn't mean that I'm still not too tired to smile properly.
P.s. Why does my dark brown hair look reddish orange in this picture??

So this morning at work we had cake. And it was delicious, because like I said- it was cake. 'King Cake' if you want to get technical. We all took pictures of it, of each other, and of course Aunt Susi got a picture of me licking the Baby Jesus covered in icing, that I'm sure she'll use for future blackmail purposes. Jokes on you Aunt Susi- that icing was delicious!!

They informed me of the fact that you are supposed to eat cake for Mardi Gras and we call it "Fat Tuesday" last year at work. (It was my first year here). But today thanks to Instagram and Yahoo, I've seen about a million (I'm being overly-dramatic) people calling it Pancake Day, and there are pictures of pancakes everywhere. So my questions are- Is it "Fat Tuesday" or "Pancake Day"? Do we get pancakes or king cakes? Why can't we get drunk at work in honor of this day? Just thought I'd ask. Happy Mardi Gras Day!!

I should've stayed in bed today.

I have literally screwed up every single thing today. Basically, if it could go wrong, it did. It's ok though. Yep. I'm going to make it through the rest of this day and then crawl into my sweats (and the fetal position) when I get home. Why? Because I think that's just safer for everyone at this point. I need a drink. It's been a horribly long day, and I think that my eyeballs might melt, yes I did in fact say melt, out of my freakin' head in a matter of minutes.

I should've staying bed today, in bed's where I belong, as soon as I got up today, things started going wrong, I got a splinter in my foot, my puppy made me fall, I squirted toothpaste in my ear, I crashed into the wall.

I knocked my homework off the desk, it landed on my toes, I spilled a glass of chocolate milk, it's soaking through my clothes, I accidentally bit my tongue, that really made me moan, and it was far from funny, when I banged my funny bone.

I scraped my knees, I bumped my nose, I sat upon a pin, I leapt with alacrity, and sharply barked my shin, I stuck a finger in my eye, the pain is quite severe, I'd better get right back to bed, and stay there for a year.

People are nicer when I look like a Hobo Batman.

I wore my hobo hat and my Batman shirt on Saturday. And by my Batman shirt, what I really mean is- Greg's Batman shirt that he's NEVER getting back. Like, ever. It's officially my new favorite shirt in the entire world. It's because people are so much nicer to me when I wear it into public. People who I could walk by every day, that have never even glanced in my general direction let alone made conversation with me, are all of the sudden nice. Is it true? Is that the power of 'The Batman'? I mean, after Ben Affleck plays Batman I don't know how everyone will feel about it, but for now- I. Am. Awesome. Perhaps I should explain a little more so you don't feel the need to lock me up in the bin. You know what I'm talking about.

{{I'm a horrible blogger, because I didn't anticipate on writing a post about my outfit for last Saturday, so I only have a partially decent picture of me wearing the Batman shirt and glasses (only partial hoboing), but on the bright side- TAYDER is in it looking LIKE A BOSS}}

On Saturday I woke up early, because apparently when it's possible for me to sleep in, the clock in my head decided to go into warped speed and is all- You are NOT sleeping, wake the $*#% up. I don't know what it was about that particular day, but my eyes decided to be even more screwy with me than usual. So I hopped in the shower, and because I couldn't see had to "mime" my way through it. Do you know how difficult it is to shower when you can't see a damn thing? Well, let me just tell you it's hard. So after I mimed my way through it I found my glasses and had to wear them ALL weekend, because like I said- BLIND.

I decided to wake Momma up, because I'm selfish and wanted company, to see if she wanted to get out of the house and go have some lunch later. She indulged me, because frankly I looked a bit pitiful. I was to lazy tired to fix my hair or put on any more make-up than a little foundation to cover the red spots, so I just tucked all of my hair into the green hat that Aunt Susi made me and went on my merry little way. Sweatpants, flannel shirt, black jacket, green hat with all my hair tucked in, and my glasses. I looked like a real hip hobo. Not my words. I guess I had an Olsen twin thing going on. We did some things and when we went to lunch the waiter was really friendly. Like extremely friendly. Nice guy. Momma thought that he was "hitting" on me, but I disagree. I think he was trying to figure out if i really was a hobo or not. Whatevs. The point is, he was incredibly friendly.

We went home and I changed out of the flannel shirt, because- HELLO, it was so warm and lovely compared to what it has been. I was too lazy pre-occupied to go downstairs to get one of my own shirts so I just pulled one of Greg's out of the closet and put it on. Besides I love Batman too. Well, we ended up having to go to the grocery store and did I change? Hell no, I put my jacket on and went on skipping to my Lou. Not really. While in the grocery store walking down the canned vegetables I looked down and realized that I hadn't changed. When I walked back to the cart I looked at Momma and said- I just realized that I am a grown @$$ woman wearing a Batman shirt in public and laughed. The guy behind us heard me and said- Hey, there's nothing wrong with that, it's hot, and besides it matches my ninja turtle belt buckle. Y'all might think that sounds dumb, but let me just tell you- y'all it was love at NERD sight. He's probably married or way younger than me, but I don't care, in my imagination we are doing all of the awesome things that I think that a boyfriend should do with a girlfriend. Yep, in my imagination we are in nerd love. Kidding. Kind of. After the grocery store we stopped by the gas station and the girl working there continued to talk to me for ten minutes on how great my shirt was and how awesome I looked in it. Needless to say- Greg, you are NOT getting that shirt back. It's mine now. Sorry, but I'm absolutely not sorry. Not even a little bit. Like I said, people are way nicer to me when I look like a Hobo Batman. By the way, Aunt Susi informed me that she would absolutely NOT go out into public with me while I looked like a hobo. We'll see Aunt Susi. We shall see.

That time I made soup.

Before I tell you about my soup, take a little break and read the 13 things you didn't know about lust. I'll wait. Ok? Ok, as I've been saying for a few months now, there are a lot of things that I can't eat without it making me sick at my stomach. Honestly, meat being the biggest one. About the only thing that I can stomach anymore meat wise is hamburger. Needless to say- this has changed my eating habits drastically. I've always been one to eat fruits and vegetables, but now I find myself eating even more of them then I ever imagined. Katie? Healthy? Who saw this one coming? I love them and can't seem to get enough. This is probably a good thing, because even if it's not, at least it sounds healthier. So after dani found a recipe for "loaded tomato" soup online and made it, then Aunt Susi made it because Dani gave her the recipe, I decided to give it a try. I mean tomatoes and my love of soup combined? Yes, please. As I was cooking it Shy and Kenny decided to try it to, so I made more than enough. (We had a little leftover). By the time I was done making it and adding all of the extra stuff that I thought would be good in it, it kind of turned from tomato soup to taco soup. But that's ok, because I love tacos too! So since we all (especially me) loved it so much, and it was literally the easiest thing to make, EVER, I thought that I would share...

What you need:

• 1 can condensed tomato soup (I used Campbells)
• 1 can seasoned black beans (I used Bush's)
• 1 can whole kernel corn (any kind)
• 1 can fire roasted tomatoes (whatever you like)
• Taco seasoning
• A pot to cook in and a spoon to stir

Get your pot ready. Open all cans. Drain the corn and black beans. Dump the soup, fire roasted tomatoes (juice and all), corn, and black beans into the pot. Stir until warm and mixed together thoroughly (I added just a little bit of water to make it a bit soupier, but it's whatever you like best). Put taco seasoning in little by little, dependent upon your taste, however much you like. Let it finish cooking together.

See? I told you that was the easiest thing to make ever. And it was so good that the only way to describe it is- DEE-LISH-YASH!! Yeah, it's so good you can't even spell words right. Shy and Kenny loved it to. And all the leftovers got eaten. Shy asked me why I was just adding stuff together instead of following the recipe. My response? I DO WHAT I WANT! And we were all glad that I do. Even people on FB were asking what I put in it, because it looked so good. It smelled amazing too!! There is just nothing bad about this. I think everyone should try it. I know I'll be making it a lot more.

It's been years since I had a snowday!!

I would just like to go on the record by saying that this snow-ice-hypothermia-frostbite weather damn well sucks! Seriously, I don't like it not one little bit. I call bullshit. I am so COLD. I'm not one to complain about being cold constantly, but since I'm pretty sure that hypothermia is setting up in my fingers while I'm inside the house and/or office it's what I'm going with. I haven't been through this kind of weather in years. YEARS. I grew up in Tennessee. It gets really cold there, but not so much with the snow and negative temperatures. You can tell it's winter, but you don't wake up and assume that you have magically teleported to the arctic in your sleep. I also lived in Alabama and Florida. I don't know how cold it gets in Alabama, while I lived there it was the longest miserablest horriblest spring-summer-fall of my life. And it gets chilly in Florida, but a sweatshirt and you're good. The chilliest days are usually lovely. And by lovely I mean it's so sunny that I wanted to shoot myself. It's the rain that's the coldest when it comes to Florida. But now I have moved back north. Back to Indiana. When some people describe Indiana they say: home of the colts, the Hoosiers, the pacers, the fighting Irish, and the boilermakers. Birthplace of: James Dean, John Dillinger, Jimmy Hoffa, Anne Baxter, David Lee Roth, John Cougar Mellencamp, and the Jacksons. It's where: David Letterman started his career, Larry Bird shot his first basket, Jay Cutler threw his first football, and Jeff Gordon drove his first car. Some of the most famous people were born, raised and/or have lived here. I think all of this is so cool. Especially James Dean and John Dillinger, but for right now all of that is pushed to the side. ALL OF IT. Why? Because it's so cold that it eliminates everything that there is good. EVERYTHING.

It's been cold for a couple weeks of course, but then Sunday came. That's right- Sunday. Saturday Momma and I had run to the store because the news said that bad weather was coming and that people might be stuck in their houses for a couple of days. For one, when people think that they're going to be stuck somewhere and that someone else is going to have something that they don't they freak the hell out. People were CRAZY!! Two, basically is just repeating one. People are crazy! Anyways the weather started getting colder and it snowed on Saturday night. By Sunday there was a bunch of snow and ice and my car was buried. I went out with Momma and shoveled the walk-way and sidewalk and we possibly had a snowball fight. Unplanned. Then I may have tackled Shylyn into the snow, rolled us both down the hill and into the street and managed to shove a bunch of snow in her face making her eat it. OOPS.

Sorry, but I'm not sorry. It was hilarious and fun. Sadly I remembered that I haven't tackled a fourteen year old into the snow since I was eleven. And it was Greg's friend Corey. And I was sick. And he snuck me out of the house. And we all went sledding on a freshly painted car hood. And there was only like three inches of snow. And now that I think about it I'm pretty sure he wasn't fourteen, he was barely thirteen. And I got sicker. And it was totally worth it. Anyways, after all that it started getting COLDER...and COLDER...and COLDER...until it was eventually FREEZING. Literally. By nine Sunday night it was (-10) degrees and Aunt Susi text me to tell me that Uncle Roger had said to stay home from work on Monday. The temperatures and roads were that bad. It's a good thing to, because even though I had dug it out, my car was reburied. Even the Governor said to stay off of the roads and in your house unless it was an absolute emergency. I think that we were in a state of emergency. Honestly. So Monday was my first official "snow day" in many years. I'm pretty sure I haven't had one since I was in seventh or eighth grade. So very very long ago. So how did I spend my snow day?

Well, like any normal person, it was too cold to go outside. Really, it was (-27) degrees and dropping. So I spent the day curled up on the couch, drinking hot tea and hot chocolate, watching Criminal Minds with Tayder. Yes, all day. And I don't even care, because it was great. I came back to work today, but Uncle Roger and Aunt Susi had to pick me up this morning, because guess what? My car is still buried and I don't even know if it would start with it being as cold as it is. Poor thing. I wouldn't want to start. Hopefully Greg will dig it out while I'm at work. Yeah, fat chance. It's still freezing and horrible, but thank you for the snow day Uncle Roger. It's been a minute. Oh, by the way, did I mention that Greg's friend is stuck at the house with us and has been since Saturday? Yeah, I know. I'm creeped out too. He pets me and I'm thinking about punching him in the face. If he don't quit it's gonna happen. Seriously.