Can we just eat pizza for Christmas?!

You know, for being such a grinch this holiday season, I sure am busy. Today is our annual company Christmas party. And while we don't get to get sauced like back in the good ole days, it's usually a fairly decent time and it seems to make Uncle Roger happy. Therefore if Uncle Roger is happy and decompresses for a minute then the world is a joyful place.

Last Sunday at Aunt Susi's get together: Momma and Aunt Poot looking adorable and mischievous. And Dani and Jayna decorating cookies (with my awesome frosting).

Aunt Susi also had that girls get together at her house this past Sunday and it was fun. We went over early to help her make things and set up. She had me make buttercream frosting in her pretty fancy mixer and not that I'm searching for compliments or anything, but it was delicious. We all decorated cookies, laughed, talked, ate and there was absolutely no fighting/arguing. Which is a rare thing for our family. Obviously it's the guys that do it and not us girls. All of us just wouldn't do something like that. Yeah, that's it.

Last years annual company Christmas party. This is me with Uncle Darrell (he's my homie/dance partner) and my cousin Jeremy.

We also played that 'dirty santa' or 'white elephant' (Which is a dumb name. Just saying.) And some people just don't show any mercy around these parts. And even though Aunt Susi ended up with the pretty scarf (you're not sorry) it's ok, because telling Ashley why she didn't need the scarf was hilarious. Also, Shantel sat in a bunch of blueberries and usually that would stain, but I scrubbed her pants with Aunt Susi's hobo soap and IT ALL CAME OUT. It's magic soap. Dani says it would be hippie soap before it would be hobo soap, but I'm sticking to my guns on this one.

Also, Bubba, Chrissy, Johnathan, Elizabeth, and the three kids are coming up tonight so that we can do "our" Christmas. We thought that we were going to spend Christmas at their house this year (because they invited us to), but come to find out they don't even get the kids back until noon and they go to her parents at one. And while her parents invited us over for Christmas with all of them, we've met them about twice and didn't feel comfortable with that. Hence, Christmas tonight. I think that Momma is a little upset that she won't get to see Greg on Christmas day, but I guess I'll just have to get a little spirit (or at least pretend to) and watch White Christmas and make it good for her. It'll all be good.

The Christmas season and I are just NOT gee hawin' this year.

I'll admit it. I'm a Grinch. I'm a t-total Grinch this year. Just give me a green suit and a Santa hat while I put some antlers on Tayder and James Earl Jones sings a song about me. That's how (un)Christmas-y I'm feeling about all of this. I've put up the tree, decorated, and bought/wrapped gifts (I still have more to do). All of us girls even got together at Aunt Susi's for a Christmas get together (that I'll write about someday) and still, nope.

I don't know why. I can't stand Christmas music, the thought of having to deal with decorations makes me just want to take a nap, and I haven't even watched White Christmas yet. People, White Christmas is one of my favorite movies of all time. I even watch it in July and it's just not happening. I think I must just be going through a Grinch phase.

Our work Christmas party is this Friday and all I can think is blah. Then Friday evening Greg, Chrissy, Johnathan, Elizabeth and the kids are coming up to our apartment to do our little Christmas and frankly I'm already tired. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother, but once again, Christmas. I haven't even put elf ears, bows, or bells on Tayder. I have yet to wear my Christmas socks. Not even Christmas cookies are appeasing me. I don't know, maybe I'll get in the "Christmas Spirit" in the next couple of three days. At least there's four days off of work next week to look forward to (Thursday-Sunday).

The levels of baking cookies with an eleven year old.

I got the bright idea to let Solae spend the night on Saturday and then she was all- let's do something fun!! Can we bake cookies?!! You're SO awesome. And of course I had consumed about a bottle of wine when she called me and said that I was awesome, so I was all- of course you can spend the night. And we'll bake cookies, and make things, and I'll cook you pasta, because I'm awesome!! I GOT THIS.

Cut to the next morning when I figured out that my Momma had actually already promised her all of this, while volunteering me, with me sober and I immediately regretted my actions. You would think it was the walk of shame with how much I was regretting said actions, but no. No, it was just the promise of having to do all of this. Ugh.

But I'm a good sport, and if nothing else, I'm fairly decent at keeping my promises, so I said- what's done is done and went to buy more wine. Because obviously I make great decisions while drinking. And then we picked her up around eleven that day to run some errands and get home to bake. And apparently make mustache pops and cake pops.

Level one:
You get together everything that you need or could possibly ever need to get things going. Eleven year olds have about the attention span of me a ferret on crack so you can imagine how well this step went. Once everything was gathered I realized that there were alot more things on the counter to make than I had originally agreed to and while no one was looking started hiding them odd places in the kitchen.

Level two:
The baking is going good by this point. You've got a crap ton of energy and are in a good mood. You're mixing and baking at such a fast rate that when the kid asks you if she can eat all of the sugar, you agree, because let's be honest about the fact that you're kind of an alcoholic and have already started drinking the half a bottle of wine in the fridge.

Level three:
You take a small bathroom break and when you walk out you see that the kid is standing in the living room, listening to Taylor Swift, throwing around the dish towel like she's Raphael from the Ninja Turtles. You ask her what she's doing and realize that she's so jacked up on sugar that her eyes are as big as tea saucers. It's also at this point that you decide to crack open your second bottle of wine. I can literally feel your judgement on me right now.

Level four:
By now the kid has come down off of her sugar high and you're stuck finishing the cookies, because she wanted to watch Captain America. Nevermind the fact that you want to watch Captain America, oh no, you're the adult so finish the damn cookies, make pasta, and frost the snowmen cookies, bitch! Also, you may or may not ask your Momma and Aunt if the tiny snowman cookies that she made look like little penises or if you're just slightly tipsy. PS, they looked like little penises and you frosting them white probably wasn't the best idea.

Level five:
By this level you're lucky you even survived. Especially if you hate the holidays, because you're a big, fat, fatty Grinch. Aka me. Now, you've cleaned the kitchen and you're sitting on the floor with your feet on the oven door, drinking the rest of the wine out of the bottle, sending pictures to your friend of your burnt hand, because you just knew that was going to hurt in the morning. And you finally peel yourself off the tile, go take a shower, and go to bed. Only to wake up at four the next morning with a sinus infection.

But guess who's awesome and totally still the favorite?!

#Thefinalride

Well played, Sutter. Well. Played.

And now?! I'm sad.

I have many things to be thankful for {A sappy (early) Thanksgiving post}.

What's there not to be happy about today? I mean, I get off at 11:00 today. I have the next four days off. Aunt Poot and Solae are coming over tonight for movie night (Expendables 3...whoop whoop!!). Momma is feeling pretty good. Aunt Susi is happier. Jayna is at work today helping to put up the tree. Me and Dani match in our Griswold shirts (by accident). Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Greg is happy. John is up here now. I've decided to watch Outlander on Demand (all eight episodes) while I'm off. And I'm losing weight. The world is good. My world that is.

Two year old me would like to wish you happy holidays!! Clearly, we know who the cute one was. My brother and cousins claim they were, but I mean, come on. Look at little ole me.

Things could be better I suppose. I reckon they always could. People always seem to talk about the things that could be better. However, I'm a drink the glass that way you don't have to decide if it's a glass half empty/half full kind of gal. I try to always find the silver lining and be optimistic. Noodle likes to tell me that I'm the ultimate eternal optimistic/hopeless romantic. I'm not really sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but we got that kind of love. I'll take it.

I have so much to be thankful for. So much. I'm in fairly decent health. It teeter totters back and forth between things sometimes, but for the most part things tend to go good. At least it's nothing I can't deal with as far as now. My Momma. The fact is that she's in poor health, but you know what? She's getting help for it. And it's getting better by the day. She will never be healed, however I'm hopeful that with time we can get her to that level. You know what 'that' level is. Tayder is still kicking and lugging around. Poor guy is grumpy, but he's the Walter Matthaeu of dogs, so I'm ok with it.

I like that he's still here to give me cuddles and kisses when I need them. I spend time with a few of my favorite people in the world- i.e. Momma, Aunt Susi, Uncle Roger, Aunt Poot, Uncle Darrell, Aunt Mary, Dani, Solae, Greg when he doesn't have a giant stick up his butt. And so on and so forth. I love spending so much time with Momma. And I love spending time with those I am close to. Work is good. Our apartment is good. Family is good, except for the buttheads, but you know.

I could complain. I really could. But why? So much has happened. There was so much bad in me that I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where to turn. I got to the point that I didn't want to do my favorite things. I didn't want to talk to my friends. Anybody really. I didn't want to read or watch tv. I didn't want to leave the house. I didn't even want to get out of bed or get dressed. I didn't really want anything. I went through the motions and that was it. I didn't know what else to do. I just laid there and stared at the walls. I cried without knowing why. I sat there without paying attention to the things around me. My life was going without me really in it. It's been like this for years. Since I was around fifteen, I guess. And then I started making changes. Big changes. And it helped. Don't get me wrong, there are days that I still have these feelings. Everyday I have at least a few of these feelings and don't really understand why. I've never known why. But you know what? Here it is. And here I am. I'm surrounded by people that love me, and even though I don't want to burden them with my problems, I know that if I needed them they are there. And that's nice. And for that my friends, I am thankful.

Happy (early) Thanksgiving.

Is it acceptable to wear sweatpants to a wedding in November?

Today is Friday, and if you've been around me for any amount of time at all this week you would know that this fact makes me incredibly happy. Happier than usual. Except for the fact that Momma and I have to make 20 pounds of potato salad tonight. You heard me right, 20 pounds of potato salad. Don't ask. Anyways, I thought that I would just stop in for a second to say that:

A) We are having this huge rat infestation problem living in our ceiling at work. And while I'm not particularly scared of mice or rats, not knowing how many are up there that could fall on top of my head at any given moment kind of freaks me out. Just slightly. Thankfully the exterminator (Dani) has a giant bag of poison and traps treats for the little guys that she makes Chad distribute to them and collect. We're determined to win this battle.

And- B) My cousin Ashley is getting married tomorrow. So, instead of lounging about in my sweatpants watching Gilmore Girls (which I would really love to do), I have to look like I actually give a damn and go into public, fully dressed, and do things. I would prefer to just hibernate, but you know, family obligation and such. So, wish me luck! At least there's cake. And alcohol.

Cheers, bitches!!

I'm pretty sure that I am the absolute WORST at being a girl.

I have this thing where I go over everything in my head and I over analyze anything that I come into contact with. My conclusion to the fact that I am the absolute WORST at being a girl is no different. I feel like this is a true fact. I came to this realization somewhere between putting on my sweatpants/ butler bulldogs tee shirt and then going to my aunt/uncle's house to eat pizza and drink beer.

I know, I know, carbs and alcohol, SAY WHAT?! But I'm a rebel like that. My pants hate me for it.

Between reading through my favorite blogs, checking out random sites, and talking to people that I grew up with, it's enough to make you feel like you took a detour at the wrong crossroad. Most of them are in meaningful relationships, either married or on the verge. Most with children and some have even been with their significant others for years upon years. WE'RE TALKING SANDBOX LOVE, PEOPLE! And yet I'm just over here all- look at how cute my dog is!!

Now, being the type of person that I am, none of this usually bothers me, but every once in a great while I'll feel a ting of the green-eyed monster creeping up my back. Don't get me wrong, I have no desire to be married, and at the possibility of sounding like a horrible person, I don't want children. At least not ones to call my own. Neither of those two things have ever been a priority of mine. I love my independence and at the risk of sounding selfish, don't feel like I should have to have children to live up to some other persons standard of my happiness. But that's just one girls opinion on the matter. 

I hate drama. And I truly mean that from the bottom depth of my soul. I'm always here to listen to a friend/family member vent about their problems, but I don't voluntarily go in search of it. I rather like my peaceful, little existence and don't see the point in complicating things. Oh, having trouble with your cheating/unappreciative/psychotic/paranoid significant other? Well, let's not do the rash thing and break up with them so you can find happiness in the future. No, let's stick it out for another three or four years so that when the unavoidable implosion that is our lives comes to a head it's all that more ugly, emotional, and terrible. Makes alot of sense, huh? No.

I don't curl my hair and wear make-up every single day. I hardly even get out of sweatpants, loose tee shirts, or cotton shorts on weekends. Monday through Fridays {except on the days that the sun has smiled upon me and we don't have work on one of those days} I usually make myself acceptable looking. But then I have days like today where I felt that my morning time was better spent standing under hot water in the shower. And then I look like I do right now. No make-up sans for the leftover eyeliner from yesterday, and a messy version of hair that's so bad it can't even be considered a "messy bun". No, it's just it's very own mess. I didn't even fully brush it, because it just wasn't happening.

Also, I do not own a copy of the movie The Notebook. I know, if none of the other things got me, that one definitely will.

I'm living in the surreal house.

When I decided to uproot my entire life and move to Indiana I had some things going on that felt like they needed dealt with. My way of dealing with them? Saying- the hell with this!! And moving on. So, I did just that. And it worked. But it still feels a bit surreal to me. It's been two years this month, and for some strange reason it doesn't feel like I'm actually living here to me.

Don't get me wrong, it's great to be surrounded by family and for things to be more offset than they have been in a very long time, but still, there's something. Something that I just can't quite put my finger on. You would think after two years that it would be pretty well sunken in, but it's just not. It still feels off or something.

Maybe it's because I keep waking up expecting to walk outside and see a back road instead of a busy one. Maybe it's because I keep expecting to run into an old friend of mine at the gas station, that is inevitably never there. Maybe it's because I still expect to get out of bed, put on a pair of scrubs and head off to help someone ready for their third dialysis appointment of the week. I don't know. I just don't know.

I'm happy here. I'm content. I love my peaceful, little, undramatic existence. And I love the fact that I get to spend so much time with my mother, brother, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I love that Momma and I have a little apartment that we can call our own, and that Tayder is still lugging around and giving me snuggles when I need them.

But it's weird. It's weird going to a job completely out of my element. It's weird writing letters or sending text messages instead of seeing my friends. It's weird not having Grammy to talk to about stories that only a grandmother knows and to give me a hug. It's strange to me that all of this still hasn't sunk in for me.

I think it has something to do with the fact that I don't have my memories here. I mean, I have a few from when I was a little girl, but for the most part I was raised far away. I had my own friends, my own way I handled things, and I grew up in a way that others wouldn't necessarily find proper. And I love that. I love that I got to grow up somewhere that allowed me to form and find my own sense of self. I love the person that I am.

I'm not the best, but I'm not the worst by any means. When I love, I love with my whole heart. And when something makes me sad, I cry real tears. When I'm happy, I laugh, and sometimes I just can't quit. When I'm mad, I say why I'm mad out loud, and I don't sugar coat any of it. I have no filter and if i think it or feel it, you can pretty well guarantee that the world will soon know about it too.

And it's just me. It's just who I am. and right now, it just so happens that everything feels a little off key for me. But, it's ok, because it will all be figured out soon enough. Sometimes it just takes my mind a few extra minutes to catch up as opposed to the rest of me. Afterall, it's still trying to get used to these Indiana winters.

This is my own private domicile.

I know that I've been talking about this whole moving thing for a few weeks now, but it's a process and sometimes it takes a village. And by a village I mean after the Saturday of my brother, two cousins, and aunt helping us move, we've been kind of on our own. Which is kind of great. I think there are times when we forget that we now have our own place, like we're still walking on eggshells, but at night when it's real quiet and we're unpacking things, or setting up, or just watching TV, we get it. It's completely clear. We're on our own. Just me, Momma, and Tayder.

I'm trying to convince Danielle to cross-stitch this for me, so I can hang it in our apartment. Immediately.

Do you know how long that it's been since I've said that? Let's just say, awhile. A long while. It was just the three of us for awhile when I was 15/16, but then Noodle came along, and then Grammy came to live with us, and we've had friends/family live with us on and off for awhile. Then it was just us for 1.5 days in Tennessee before the family came down to move us up to Indy. Then it was almost two years of living with my two uncles and little cousin {which you already know}. But now it's just us three again. And I think that we're adjusting well.

There are still a few things that we need to get:

• Curtains
• Ice cube trays (I know, right?)
• Toaster
• Blu-ray player
• Picture frames
• Big skillet

And so on and so forth, but you know, all in due time. It's all a process, and it's a process that we're ok with. I've met a few of our neighbors, and so far they're all very nice. The two guys that live across from us even helped us (me, Momma, and Aunt Poot) carry in our couch when they seen us struggling. Thanks, guys!! I owe you one. One woman has a 135 pound American bulldog and she's very pleasant to talk to. And yes, that surprises me, because that is a rare quality in people these days. The people upstairs are nice, but I'm pretty sure that they never sleep. They're not disruptive or anything, but you know how you just notice little things sometimes? Anyways, they all seem fairly nice and we all just mind our own business. And that's the way we all like it.

One of the biggest perks about it is we can do whatever we want, when we want, without it bothering and/or inconveniencing anyone else. So today, I get off of work about two hours early and we gotta go do laundry, do a little shopping, and then we'll probably go home, and I'll commence to drinking an entire bottle of wine and watch Captain America: The Winter Soldier. You say boring, I say relaxing. And since it's the weekend, I say- Cheers, bitches! {In my very best Jesse Pinkman voice}.  

#Movingishard

Don't you just love that you can literally hashtag anything these days? No? Just me? Whatevs, I love it. So, as most of you know, Momma and I recently moved into our own apartment after living with my two uncles and little cousin for going on two years. And while that was fun {to begin with, but then one uncle became increasingly grumpy, and the kid turned into a teenager aka- jerk}, it's very nice to have our own place again. But I have made a discovery.

We've moved a million {figuratively} times in my life, and we always kind of liked to say that we considered ourselves nomads. It always made us sound cool, you know, to us. But now we have discovered that we detest moving, because it's hard, and if I'm being perfectly honest, neither one of us is getting any younger. Thank goodness that we had family that helped out with the whole process, but there are certain things that you kind of just have to do. We like to refer to it as- Lone Rangering it. Basically because, I love the new Lone Ranger movie. Yeah, I said it, WHAT ABOUT IT?!! That was a great movie and you know it. Sorry, back to the actual point.

I put in to have off yesterday like a month ago {before we knew we were moving- it all happened so fast}, but it just all kind of worked out, so I've just come off of a three day weekend. Don't worry, it wasn't as glamorous as it sounds. It was a whole lot of unpacking, putting up, arranging, then re-arranging, putting together furniture, and on and on and on. It's been really hard, but it's also been amazing to have our own space again. Tayder is loving it to.

Also, we finally have cable, and not only did I get to catch up on my Sons of Anarchy and Chicago PD watching {Thank you, Demand}, but we got to watch Dog the Bounty Hunter and like five episodes of Wahlburgers, which makes me happy, because Donnie Wahlberg is AMAZING. And I finally learned who sings the song- Classic, and I can't quit singing it, because it's awesome. Just listen to it you're welcome.

How many times can you rob the same car, bitch?!

Ok, everyone who has ever seen my car has something to say about it. I mean, I love it. It's been the greatest car that you could ever ask for and it's been with us for about five or six years. And I paid $49 for it. Yes, you read that right. $49. That's it. In other words, I love that damn thing. But I'm not one to try to make something that it's just not. It might be priceless to me, but you can clearly look at it and tell that I'm not exactly rolling in the cash.

Case in point, my car is three different colors. Four if you count dirt as a color. But without the dirt, three. It is originally red, however it had been wrecked on the driver's side before I got it, so the driver's side fender is white, while the front-end-bra {I know, I giggle every time I say my car wears a bra too}of it is black. Still with me? The white fender also doesn't fit as correctly as it should, so I have it zip tied how it should be. Assisting that there is duct tape holding on the driver's side mirror. Yes, duct tape. Granted the duct tape is red and black so it matches {That's all momma, I straight up had original silver duct tape on that shit}, but still, it's duct tape. Also, the bra {giggles} is cracked down the front so I have it gorilla glued together. Why? Because I'm nothing if not frugal. I don't care what my car looks like, appearances don't mean jack to me, no matter what it may look like to other people, it's a GREAT CAR and I LOVE it.

With all of that being said, not long after we moved to Indiana someone broke into our car {I say broke in to, but just know I don't leave my car locked, because it has no alarm and broken windows are expensive} and took whatever there was in there. Just a bunch of random shit that you wouldn't think of anyone taking. They broke my glove box and stole the center thing that sits in between the seats {change console?} Yes, the whole thing. It had pennies. Now, pennies add up, but in their haste they managed to leave like seven dollars that I had spaced right through leaving in the console. A couple Cd's were gone, but they were my ex's that I had been meaning to throw out {he had dumb taste in music}, so I was like whatevs. Basically, there was just nothing of value in it. And that seemed to piss them off, because like I said they broke my glove box, AND THEN threw papers and napkins all over the place. Ooohhh, that'll show me. Seriously, though?! Seriously? My car is three different colors with glue, duct tape, and zip ties, did you think we were storing our freaking rubies in there or something? Dumbass.

Since then the same thing has happened to our car somewhere around four more times, but nothing is ever stolen, because we have nothing to steal. HELLO, WE'RE POOR. What I love about all of this is we've become so accustomed to it that we're just like whatevs, someone was in the car. {Did I tell y'all that I'm pretty sure that there has been a hobo sleeping and eating french fries in the back seat?}. I assume that it's the same people doing it, because it's always "ransacked" the same and they end up getting pissed off and throwing napkins everywhere {are they bringing these napkins with them to throw when they're angry?}, because there's nothing in there to take. {You've been our car like five times, if we're still storing "valuables" in there, we deserve to be robbed}. Also, they leave my Cd's, because obviously THEY have HORRIBLE taste in music. Buddy Holly is a legend and how dare you not consider him good enough to steal! Lord forbid instead of getting in peoples cars to destroy them, throw paper everywhere, and try to steal them that you actually go to bed at night {or during the day} and be productive by like, oh I don't know, getting a freakin' job?! By the way, you guys are bitches. Wnd rant. {Also, read this, because it made me laugh so hard, and it sounds just like the inside of my head}.

Nifty fifty and as beautiful as ever!!

Today is Momma's 50th birthday. I know that a lot of people, they say women in particular which I don't think is true, have a real hard time getting older. Momma didn't seem to have a problem with turning 50. That was until I said to her- Hey! Do you know on my next birthday I'll be the same age as you were when you had me? That's when things got awkward. Kidding. But I just wanted to let the world (and Momma) know that I'm very proud of her, I love her, she is still my most trusted confidant, and my truest friend. I wouldn't trade our relationship for anything in the world. Momma, you are my heart and I love you. Happy Birthday, beautiful lady!!

Mom, you're a wonderful mother, so gentle, yet so strong. The many ways you show you care, always make me feel I belong. You're patient when I'm foolish; you give guidance when I ask; it seems you can do most anything; you're the master of every task. You're a dependable source of comfort; you're my cushion when I fall. You help in times of trouble; you support me whenever I call. I love you more than you know; you have my total respect. If I had my choice of mothers, you'd be the one I'd select! -Joanna Fuchs

I may not be good at sports, BUT I am a good sport.

Yesterday, I was minding my own business. I had been perfectly lovely all day, and when I got off of work we went home to just relax. Relaxing is nice. Especially since we've been doing a million different little things, and this girl hasn't really been sleeping all that much. But I digress. I was in my comfy night shirt with no pants on when my phone went off informing me that my Aunt Susi had tagged me in a video on Facebook. Well, guess what? She tagged me in a damn video, because she did the #icebucketchallenge to raise funds and awareness for #ALS research. Thanks a lot for that, by the way. What says relax like having a giant bucket of ice water poured over your head, right? But it's for a good cause, and great research is being done, so if it helps even raise a little bit more, why not?!

So, that's what I did. Cricket ended up doing it with me (same video), because she had been challenged by two different people, (remember?) and since I was already doing it, we figured we would just team up to kill two birds with one stone, because you know, global water crisis. Momma wanted to film it, Uncle Jim wanted to douse us in the ice water, Kenny wanted to point and laugh, hell even Tayder got in on the action when he accidentally got soaked, because he wanted to see what his mom was doing. It was too much fun.

It's been extremely hot these past couple of weeks, so hot that at one point I would have considered shaving my head if I thought that it would've helped. Yeah, that hot. We're talking boob sweat city around these here parts. I haven't even fixed my hair or wore makeup in almost two weeks. Why bother with all this humidity? I'm just saying. I challenged Charlie, Betty Lynn, and Uncle Darrell, but Uncle Darrell got all offended and was like- "What about our Veterans?!" And I was like- "Nope. I'm not having that conversation/argument, because I think that we should all try to help everybody out, so I untagged him and deleted his comments, that way when someone liked or commented on it, it wouldn't bother him. I like my life peaceful, anything I can do to eliminate stress- I'm there! So, anyways, the video is on Momma's phone and my phone, but I don't know how to share it from my Facebook to my blog or from my phone to my blog, or anything like that, but if I figure it out, I'll be sure to include in a little bit!

I made peanut butter fudge.

Well, my friends, here it is Monday morning. And by Monday morning, I mean Monday afternoon, because I'm an adult and have to do responsible things like get out of bed, brush my teeth and hair, and work. Ok, maybe I don't exactly always brush my hair. And maybe I'm really like a seven year old at heart, but you know what I mean. Being an adult is the WORST. But enough about all of that.

I personally don't have anything against Mondays or anything. To me, it's just another day. Just like any other ole day. The way I figure it, if you hate Mondays that bad, just use your vacation days for all of the Mondays. But then people would complain that they don't have any more vacation days, because you just can't please some people. You know how it goes.

#TeamSpike Even after all of these years.

What did y'all do this weekend? Me? I did a whole lot of nothing. Seriously. I wish that I had some awesome stories to share with you, but that's just not the case. It's been rainy and gross. Frankly, it's just a bit disgusting, and puts me in a blah mood. But I'm sure I'm not the only one. I don't even really remember what I did Friday, probably nothing of substance, or I would remember it. I do recall not being able to sleep, so I stayed up late drinking and watching the show- Mom. Hilarious, by the way. I love it. And Deadly Women. Because, why not? I watch those shows all the time. Oh! By the way, Janya got moved from kindergarten to first grade, I assume because she is a genius, so- YAY! Congrats to Jayna and Dani (and Chris).

Saturday Momma and I ran to the grocery store and then came home. That was it. I'm telling you, it's really bad out. Then yesterday we ran over to Aunt Poot and Uncle Darrell's for a little bit, and Joshie took me up to Speedway to fill up my awesome ginormous jug, and then we went back home again. Bro and Shelley asked me if i wanted to get out Saturday and I just didn't want to. I didn't feel like doing a dang thing. So, I didn't.

Hatred is a very underestimated emotion ~Jim Morrison

Yesterday I watched part of the #BreakingBadBinge and recorded the rest of it, and also watched a documentary on Jim Morrison, because I mean, come on, it's Jim freakin' Morrison. Who doesn't love Jim Morrison? Just watching that documentary I wanted to go get a lizard wearing a crown tattoo. And if you don't understand that reference, then don't talk to me.    

Also, Saturday night I may, or may not have had popped one of my sleeping pills on top of some sinus meds and wine, and ended up making fudge at midnight, watched The Disappearance of Alice Creed, taught Shylyn how to trade/barter, plus make her draw my 'future tattoo', and finished by watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. I'll never tell you. But for the record that fudge was the bomb and I'm still 100% #TeamSpike all the way. Yes, even after all of these years. Angel can suck it, unless he's Booth. Then he's awesome. Ok, that's all I got. I'm sorry that this was absolutely nothing of substance. Lastly, if you want to know what in the hell is going on in all of those random photos of me, you can go check out my Instagram page and it will tell you all about it.    

I should get up at 4:00 am more often

Well, well, well. Here we are. Another Wednesday, another humpday. Amiright, ladies? I don't know about all of y'all, but personally I've been a day ahead of myself and then a day behind all week. And like I said, it's only Wednesday. Needless to say it's been an interesting week. I've been awake since 3:30 this morning and after a half an hour of tossing and turning I gave up my fight and just got out of bed. This girl has not been sleeping good or much at all lately, and I have no clue why.

On the plus side of this, I was up at 4:00 a.m. So I went ahead and started getting ready for work. I figured- I'm up an hour earlier than usual, I'll go ahead and start getting ready and maybe I'll put a little curl into my hair. Why not, right? Now, I'm not one to brag, because usually I'm always critiquing myself, but I curled my hair and took my time, listening to the Kid Rock station on Pandora- Holy crap! My hair is looking banging this morning. Seriously, it curled exactly how I wanted it to, and looks exactly like I wanted it to. I don't know about you ladies, but for me this NEVER happens. Like, EVER. So I'm pretty excited about it.

I would take a picture of it to show y'all, but I didn't think about it at home, and now that I'm at work I'm to self conscious with my selfie taking. {Shh...don't tell anyone I'm blogging at work, but it really is too early to start actual work. Our little secret?}I know that's weird, but it's true. Maybe I can sneak one later, and y'all can check it out on my Instagram. That is if you want to see it. You probably don't. Sorry, I'm just really excited that it worked. Even my eyeshadow look like I wanted it to. (Another thing that NEVER happens.) I'm thinking about just getting up at 4:00 every morning!

Ok, I'll quit talking about it now. Maybe. Like I said earlier today is Wednesday/Humpday and do y'all know what that means? Yep, it means that it's link-up day with my girl Kathie. And what are we linking up for? Well, to confess our inner most thoughts and secrets, duh! And by the way, I was saying that in a sarcastic way with a silly look on my face, so I'm playing, not being bitchy. Just wanted to clear the air. Yeah, you can totally tell I've been up since really early and didn't sleep good/enough, because I am rambling something horrible. My bad! Let's try this again, and get this thing started!! I'm only gonna do a couple, because like I told you earlier I'm at work {shhh...} and I have to do some actual work. Wouldn't it be nice if we all could just log for a living!! Just saying, if y'all know something that I don't let me know!

//Me, Aunt Susi, and Danielle went to lunch yesterday with Uncle Wayne. We went down to that Mexican restaurant that me and Dani have went to a couple of times. Remember that? Well, we all went there and ate and then Uncle Wayne discovered something horrendous. I know that I'm very open and tell y'all everything, but I want to spare the gory details here. Let's just say that there were things all over the restaurant floor, and those things start with an "M" and let it go. Needless to say, we won't be eating there ever again, and we all got sick.

//Yesterday as I was reading some blogs written by some amazing girls, I was commenting a lot, because they are awesome. Well, I commented on one, because the girl was talking about "shark week". I love shark week on the Discovery Channel, I watch it all the time (you know, when it's on), so I told her that I was so there! She emailed me and informed me that in Blogland "shark week" actually means "the monthly girl thing". I was so embarrassed! I had no clue. But she was so sweet and told me no problem, it happened, and we had a good laugh.

//I took two Stackers this morning and I am running rampant. Seriously. I used to take those things all the time when I worked at the nursing home, because they just wake me up and help me function a little bit better. Plus, they help you go, go, go. Well, I haven't taken any in a few years so since I'm so tired, because I haven't slept good in weeks (I know what you're thinking, no I'm not not sleeping, because I haven't taken the Stackers before today), I thought- "Huh, I'll just take a couple of these so I won't have any problems with dozing off". Ummm....I should have just taken one, because now I have the jitters. It's all good though, don't worry ladies, I'm fine! Like I said, I don't take them to often.   

Sorry ladies, that's all I got today!
Linking up with my girl Kathie. 

Don't try so hard.

Today I'm meeting some girls so that we can all talk about not trying so hard. No, not when it comes to our jobs, families, or things of that nature. I'm talking about not trying so hard when it comes to your own "beauty". There are a lot of different thoughts when it comes to defining a beautiful person depending on who you ask. To me?

To me a beautiful  person has nothing to do with looks. It has nothing to do with their face. It has nothing to do with their body. It has nothing to do with their hair. To me beauty comes from the inside. It comes from the way that you treat people, and the way that you carry yourself. I don't care what you look like as long as you are a good/decent person. Because that's beauty!

Yesterday I wore absolutely no make-up, I didn't brush my hair, I just pulled it into a bun, and I had sweat capris and a baggy t-shirt on. And yes, I went out into public like that. I got a lot of different feed back from people, but mostly I heard that I looked tired, sick, one person asked me if I had been beat up on account of my black eye (Don't worry, I'm anemic and I have really dark circles because of my lack of Iron), and some people just simply snarled their noses and walked right passed. Some people didn't seem to give it a second thought and smiled.

You said center stage, right?! 

#NoFilter Just kidding....so much filter.

I'm very comfortable in my own skin. I didn't used to be. And even now I'm a bit self conscious. I could stand to lose some weight. My face could clear up and perhaps I could have my scars lasered off. I could have my hair done every week and I could get my teeth bleached. And you know what, when I want those things done, I get them done. Not for anyone else, but just for me.

If I want to put on make-up and fix my hair, I do. If I want to wear dressy clothes or sweatpants, I do. If I want to spend a little extra time in the primp department, I do. However, if I want to simply brush my teeth, wash my face, and pull my hair up, I do. And I do all of it for me. Why do I do all of it for me? Because I'm happy. I may not be thin, I have curves, and extra hips. My skin isn't perfectly clear, I have scars and acne on occasion. My hair isn't perfect, it's naturally wavy and most of the time unmanageable. My teeth aren't perfectly white or straight.

But you know what? I'm happy. And with happiness comes beauty. I usually always have at least a little bit of make-up on, because I like to tone down my red cheeks and nose, but my Momma caught me in a completely naturally way when she was in the hospital back in April, and for some reason, it's become one of her favorite pictures of me. Sorry that it's an Instagram one y'all, but I just don't have the original. I promise though, besides Instagram, it's me completely and one hundred percent natural. 

Linking up with The Florkens, Jade & Oak, and Treasure Tromp.

We got lost at midnight.

Hey y'all! Look who showed up for class today. Whoot-whoot!! I bet y'all didn't see this one coming. Of course, that also means that I've convinced my self that you put that much thought into me. Narcissistic, much? Kidding! They redid our bathroom on Sunday, but they started it Saturday, so needless to say this girls hair is a mess! We could wash everything else, but my hair is extremely thick and weird, so washing it in the sink is quite the feet. However, if our shower isn't up and running by today I'm gonna go over to Aunt Poot's and take one. Because, well, I just will.

Did y'all have a good weekend? I reckon it was alright. Probably would've been better if I wouldn't have come down with something on Saturday evening. Go figure. But Friday was pretty awesome. For the most part. I don't usually celebrate the 4th of July. I haven't in about five years, because as some of you know, that's when my friend Amy passed away. So, every year since then I have stayed at the house, and distracted myself. However, this year I realized that Amy wouldn't want me sulking around. So, we (Momma and I) went to a cookout/to watch fireworks. We didn't get home until after midnight, because there was so much traffic, and then we got lost. Oops. We had a great time. I have pictures to show y'all too. They're really grainy and Momma managed to not have her picture taken. She's a sneaky one. But before I do that let me tell y'all some things that make my heart happy. Some of them are probably pretty strange.

• Swirled waffle cones from Rally's
• My Momma (yes, I am a big ole Mommy's girl- and I don't care)
• Watching all of the LOTR movies consecutively
• Crown Royal and pineapple juice (WATER MOCCASINS!!)
• Seeing a soldier reunite with his/her family
• Candy
• Stopping on page 260 of TFIOS
• I bet you just looked or remember what was on that page, huh?
• Hearing Danielle read internet articles out loud
• Getting letters (not bills) in the mail
• My face clearing up
• When I do math correctly
• When someone runs their hands through my hair/scalp massages
• When my toes are painted red
• There are a lot more, but I'm running out of time here:), so I won't make you look at pictures of the fireworks, but I do want to show y'all a few 'gems'.

{{I'm only smiling, because I'm gonna eat that kettle corn Aunt Poot is holding.}}

{{See me throwing up my pimp hand back there?! That's what I'm going with.}}

{{Another angle of my happy/kettle corn eating face, I guess?}}

Linking up with Juliette, Faith, and Allie.

I need Boonesfarm, Candy, Tacos, and Philadelphia.

Before I begin I would like to introduce y'all to a new friend of mine- Laney. Laney is a sweet girl that runs a very fun blog known as- Night Owl Venting. She's funny and very interesting, with a kind heart and a lot to say. What more reason do you need to hop right on over there and show her some love? The answer is none. You don't need anymore reason than that, so head on over for a little read and chat. I'll wait here for you :)

Back? Told you that you'd like her. Anyways, am I the only one that is SUPER excited that it's the weekend? I mean, I don't have any plans. None whatsoever, but it's still the weekend!! That means reading, binge watching TV, eating a bunch of junk while watching movies, leaving the shades drawn, and most importantly- NOT WEARING PANTS. Can you tell that Momma and I have the house to ourselves this weekend? I get a little bit overly excited when that happens.

We may venture out for just a little while to see one of my aunts (probably Poot, because she's just right around the corner- and yes I call one of my aunts Aunt Poot- just deal), or to get something entirely unhealthy to eat, but mostly we'll just stay in and watch TV. Or I'll read. And she'll be on her computer. And I'll cuddle with Tayder. Basically, a bunch of things that other people would consider lazy and boring, but what I see as heaven. Before I do all of that though, let me link it up with Whit, to back my no pants wearin' azz up.

For a long time I never did rest. I was always go, go, go. And I know what you're thinking and possibly even saying out loud. You're thinking/saying- "Katie! You are a 24 year old woman. You can go and go and act your age". To all of you people I say- You're right. I could very much go out and party. Or I could just go out and hang out with people my age and do all sorts of things. I'm young, I'm relatively healthy, and even though I'm nowhere near beautiful, I think that I may be decent enough to where when people look at me they don't want to throw up in their mouths. But anyone that knows me also knows that I do what I want.

If I wanted to go out and do things then I would. And I do when I want to. But I also like staying home and reading or watching TV. Sometimes I like not putting on makeup or brushing my hair. I've done the go out and party, "social" thing and I learned that it's just not me. I don't like it. And why do something that I don't like? I see no logical reason to.

Oh, let me tell y'all the conversation that I had with the cashier at the store yesterday evening. I was minding my own business and just stopped by the store to pick up some deodorant and cereal (I know it's a weird combo, but move past it) and we were browsing, minding our own business. You know trying to recover from the massive amounts of Mexican food that we had just eaten. After we were done we headed up to check out and this conversation ensued. (Confession: Yes, I do wear men's deodorant. What? Some girls sweat more than others and not all of us want to smell like a damn flower or piece of fruit!)

Cashier: This stuff is great! I get my husband the same thing, he works in construction and boy can he get smelly. Me: Yeah. This is mine. Cashier: Yours? Not your husbands? Why? Me: Because buying deodorant for my non-existent husband would be dumb. Cashier: No, I mean why do you wear men's deodorant? Me: Because it works a whole lot better than women's, and just because I don't have a husband doesn't mean that I want to smell. Cashier: Well played. Here's a coupon.

With all of that being said I would like to say I'm gonna have to hop off of here, because unfortunately I have to be an adult for a few hours. Bluck! I hope y'all have a great weekend! I wish I had more for you today, but I just don't have it in me. Remember yesterday when I said that I need to eat and take a nap? Well, I'm not exactly sure what's wrong with me, but I'm still not fully recovered. All I know is when I get off of work, God willing, I'm going home, the pants are coming off, I'm eating leftover shrimp tacos and pizza while drinking Boonesfarm, and watching It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia and Savages. Because, I mean, hello Taylor Kitsch **winkwink*

Filled with staccato bursts of humor and tragedy.

Hello my people. I don't really think that you are "my people" but you're obviously a little bit of the kind of people that I like to surround myself with, so hello!! If you're wondering, I like to surround myself with great, funny, kind people that totally get my weird sense of humor, and just let me ramble. Sound familiar?

Anyways, I wanted to share with y'all the fact that I read a book this weekend. I know that I read a lot, so this shouldn't come as any surprise, but I literally bought the book late Friday evening and stayed up until late last night to finish it. Yes, my little old lady self stayed up late on a Sunday night and still managed to get up and come to work ON TIME. Booyah!! I would've been done with it quite a bit sooner, but unfortunately I had things like going to family functions, some work, eating, sleeping, and showering that to had to be done. You know, normal people things. But I loved it so much, and became so engrossed in it that I just couldn't stop until I had finished it. The book that I'm speaking of?

The Fault In Our Stars.

Yes, I know that I'm a bit late to the party, but you know, better late than pregnant. Unless you want to be pregnant. In which case congratulations and good luck to you! Godspeed!! But me? No. Babies can smell my fear. But, seriously? This book y'all! I had heard many good things about it, but mostly I had heard wonderful things about the movie. I wanted to give it a try, but just like anything else I wanted to form my own opinion about it. Even though the hype is still ridiculous (because of the movie) I decided that it was just time to break down and get the book. I wanted to read it that bad. Y'all it was SO good. And SO sad. If you haven't read it yet, then be aware- SPOILER ALERTS!!

I knew that someone was going to pass away. Then after everyone on the planet seemed to read the book or watch the movie, I knew that it was going to be Augustus. I was prepared for this. I was prepared to feel sad when this happened. However, I was not prepared to feel as sad as I did and to cry. Yes, I admit it. I cried. Not horrible, sobbing, ugly crying, but crying nonetheless. But I didn't just cry when Augustus passed away. I cried long before that, and long after that. It was the way the story was told that actually got me.

John Green makes you fall in love with these characters. Not just one, but all of them. You fall in love with Hazel, Augustus, and Issac. You come to love the parents, Van Houten, and Lidewij. You even love Dr. Maria for acknowledging the fact that even though Hazel has cancer, she is still a young woman. She wants to experience things while she still has time left. She wants to see things and feel things. She wants to be a sixteen year old girl. She knows that she has cancer, and she doesn't deny that it's killing her. None of that information is new to her. But once she meets Augustus and realizes what's out there, she wants to live while she's still alive. This made me cry, but it also made me laugh. It made me laugh quite a bit actually. And it made me think. Have you ever read one of those books that just make you think? I found myself stopping in the middle of a sentence just to think something through. And I loved it.

It's an amazing book. I would/will recommend it to any and everyone that I possibly can. I'm sure the movie is fantastic to, but the book? Oh, I just don't think that it can be beat. Many people hated John Green after they read this or watched the movie. Don't worry, I was cussing him a bit too, but honestly he did it right. He told this epic lovestory that gets interrupted by sickness and eventually comes to an end with death. He told the story that no one else wants to tell. The true story. The truth is people we love get sick. People we love pass away. Even though we would love that not to be true, it is. And not all the time is it pretty. Not everyone gets to pass away at the ripe old age of 98, peacefully in their sleep surrounded by all of their loved ones. Sometimes, people suffer and others have to see the person they love go through things that they never thought imaginable. But their life? How they live and love while they're still with us? Now, that my friends is the real story.

In case you were wondering, I am one of those people that believes in love. True love. Great love. I don't pretend to know it, but I believe it. I believe that it's there. And if we're lucky enough to find it in life, then we only find it once. You can love more than one person. You can love a hundred different people. All with a different kind of love varying from mother to child. Child to friend. Friend to enemy. You can love with everything to everyone. But to be IN love? Now that my friend is something entirely different. And that's what this book shows. It shows great love. From beginning to end, and all that is in between. Love, understanding, suffering, perseverance, honesty, integrity, and great sadness. Be prepared. You will be sad, but it is more than worth it. Read it. Right now. And thank John Green for sharing the story with us.

Yeah, well, screw it, I'm too tired for titles.

Remember yesterday when I vaguely mentioned that I had a toothache that I was going to the dentist today to have taken care of? I think I may have in passing mentioned that I had resorted to eating Tylenol for lunch and was going to bed at seven, not to sleep, but just so that I could lay on the heated beanbag. (Again, not dirty). Yeah, well, last night things escalated.

I was in a normal amount of pain by the time I got off of work. I have a pretty high pain tolerance, for the most part, so I was taking it like a champ. I mean, I complained a lot little, but I was being an adult about it. I went to the grocery store, did the things around the house that needed done, went back out to the store to get cat food, showered and took a seat to watch some TV. Question?! Does anyone know how hard it is to eat when you can only chew on one side and you can't fully chomp down, because it hurts the other side? I do. It took me 45 minutes to eat a burger last night and I finally just gave up.

I went to bed and that's when the real horror started. Miserable, party of one, right here. My mouth hurt so bad that at one point I'm pretty sure that I just had lockjaw and I wanted to saw the whole left side of my head off. Yes. The entire head. I bet I got a total of 45 minutes of sleep last night and boy am I paying for it this morning. Hell, I paid for it then too.

Do you ever notice that when you're in pain, or can't sleep, or both how everything annoys you? See, my uncles have about 20 clocks (yes, the rest of us know how excessive this is) in their house that go off every hour and half hour at one minute intervals. This has never really bothered me. I guess I'm just used to it or something. But last night. Last night, they were annoying. No, they were mocking me is what they were doing. Mocking me, I say.

12:00 a.m.- Ding. Man, I never realized that these clocks went off so much.
12:30 a.m.- Dong. They go off every half hour too?
1:00 a.m.- Ding. You're not sleeping.
1:30 a.m.- Dong. You're still not sleeping.
2:00 a.m.- Ding. I'm in so much pain right now. SO MUCH.
2:30 a.m.- Dong. AHHH!!
3:00 a.m.- Ding. You're not going to sleep at all.
3:30 a.m.- Dong. You're just going to hurt for the rest of your life.
4:00 a.m.- Ding. These clocks are mocking me. They are seriously mocking me.
4:30 a.m.- Dong. If I had a meat mallet or a chainsaw right now, the left side of my head would be gone right now.
5:00 a.m.- Ding. (time to get up for work). I f*@$#^g hate clocks.

So as you can see I'm a bit tired and irritable today. Plus, I'm still wanting to cut off half of my head. So you know, there's that. All people annoy me right now and I'm about four seconds away from losing my sunny disposition. I've tried to take my mind off of all of this. You know, entertain myself so as to not think about it. So far I've managed to do all of my work. I got a message from my friend Sunshine discussing ninjas, prison, and fires. I've talked to Dani about her crazy in-laws. I've FB stalked 's mom, I'm still not really sure why, but I assume it has something to do with me thinking about D when I was unable to sleep last night. I wonder how he's doing. And I've made a mental note of all of the clothes that I would love to be able to wear, but am too fat to actually wear. Also, I'm super annoyed with all things that involve the opposite gender today. Why? Why should you be so nice? Just leave. Me. Alone. 

I never thought that I would say this, but I'm beyond glad that I go to the Dentist today. If she doesn't immediately rip this tooth out of my head, I'll probably just commandeer all of her instruments and do it myself. Not sure if that will work out in my favor, but I guess we'll see.

This week has been confusing?!!

Probably because I'm a day behind on account of not working Monday. Who knew that changing one day would throw off someone's entire week? Oh, everyone? Really? Oops. The point is it doesn't feel like a Thursday. Here it is almost Friday and I still haven't told you the events of last weekend. You know, the three day weekend. Of course I feel like there's a lot to catch up on, even though there's not, so to help me I figured I'd enlist the help of bullet points, because- really, why not?

Friday, May 23:

• Uncle Roger let me and Dani leave work at noon. Thank you Uncle Roger! It was so dead at work, and it was so pretty outside. So when we got off we headed down to the Mexican restaurant down the road and drank beer and ate guacamole, as promised. See, we do hold up to our end of the bargain.
• I was feeling pretty good by the time I got home (no, not drunk, just not as tense) so Momma and I went out to lunch. I just got a drink, because like I said, that guacamole was delicious. After that we headed over to Aunt Poot and Uncle Darrell's for a visit. 
• I rode with Josh to the liquor store. He went for beer, I went for crown. Hey, just thinking ahead of time.
• After a long visit with them, we headed home and just relaxed at the house for the rest of the evening. It's been unseasonably hot the last week or two. 

Saturday, May 24:

• Aunt Linda and Uncle Wayne decided that they were going to have their annual cook-out this year. They had said that last year was going to be the last year, so I had told Uncle Darrell that I would come to theirs Saturday, and didn't want to cancel on him. That wouldn't have been right. So, Saturday morning(ish) Aunt Linda came and got Uncle Kenny, Uncle Jim, and Shy, and they spent the night down at the lake with them Saturday for Sunday's party.
• Do you know what that means? Yeah, Momma and I had the house to ourselves. So we went out to pick up a few things and then spent our evening/night just hanging out.
• We had breakfast bright and early, before anybody had gotten out of bed. And it was delicious. After they left, we ran some errands. We had to pick up meds, we rented a movie (The Wolf of Wall Street), and did a little shopping. Nothing big, mostly just looking around.
• We drove around just to enjoy the fresh air and talk. We picked up some lunch and headed home. After putting everything away and getting situated we sat down to eat and watch our movie. It was excellent, but very long so we watched in intervals. 
• I dyed our hair, did a facial thing on Momma, and painted my nails. 
• Then we ordered a pizza for dinner and finished our movie. It was hilarious. We had a nice day/night and all was good. (P.s. Leonardo DiCaprio was once again sublime, Jonah Hill was freakin' hilarious, and the real John Belfort was damn brilliant. Don't let anybody tell you any different.)

Sunday, May 25:

• We got to sleep in a bit, even though I was up pretty early, because I can't sleep late to save my life. We got ready at a steady pace, no rushing, no fussing. It was nice. Momma looked beautiful as always, and me? Well, let's just say I wish I would've remembered to take a picture of myself, because I looked more hillbilly than EVER before.
• We headed over to Aunt Poot and Uncle Darrell's for the cook-out and to spend some time visiting.
• It was hot, but not miserable out. We all had a good time, and may I just say that I would love to have some of that mac&cheese Momma made right now?
• We drew drivers out of a cup, and had to bet a dollar per racer for the Indy 500. I drew Will Power, and I'm pretty sure that my mother has a gambling addiction. Just saying. By the way, Aunt Poot drew the winner.
• We talked, drank and had fun. WATER MOCCASINS!! Sorry. That's what I was drinking, you know besides Budweiser and hard cider, and they were delicious!! I want them all, more, right now.
• The jokes were made, the talks were had, the teasing progressed, and it was a lot of fun. I even met Uncle Darrell's friend from back in the day. Real nice guy. He looks tough as hell, but nice.

Monday, May 26:

• Monday was the day for remembrance. Memorial Day. Remember those who serve. Because of them we are able to spend the weekend with our families. We are able to be free and we can sleep at night. I am able to sit here and write this. To all of those men and women- THANK YOU. From the bottom of my heart.
• Monday was also the day of recovery. Three days of drinking and such? Recovery had to be had. I didn't over do it, but it's been a long time since I've done that.  
• Apparently after we left Sunday night everybody at Aunt Poot's house got into a fight with the neighbors and all hell broke loose. I'm glad I wasn't there. I'm too old for that shit. So are they, by the way. Josh's face looks all messed up, and I have resorted to calling him knuckles. Basically, just because it's fun for me. 
• I finally watched Green Street Hooligans. Can I say- amazing?! You know what this movie does? It just confirms that Charlie Hunnam is in fact a total bad ************. And that he should always talk in his accent, because it's like the best thing ever. It really is. 

Other random things:

• Yesterday was Danielle's fifth twenty-ninth birthday. We had ice cream cake at work for her, and of course sang. You should've seen how she had to cut her cake. It was hilarious. Thanks, Doug.
• Today is Shylyn's graduation from eighth grade ceremony. Apparently I have to go, because she asked me to be there. Whatevs. I never got an eighth grade graduation. I never got a graduation ceremony until I graduated high school, and even then I'm pretty sure that they debated it. 
• This whole "M" thing? Yeah, ummm...I don't know for sure, but I'm thinking that it might be one of those things that sounded way better in my head than out loud. You ever have one of those ideas? Yeah, I know. I don't know for sure, but I think that it seemed way better when it played out in my head, than reality. How many times do I have to say it? Reality bites. Just like the Winona movie. Except, I don't get my own Troy Dyer aka Ethan Hawke.
• My dress strap is currently being held together by a safety pin, and I need to make a mental note to sew that up quick, fast, and in a hurry. You know, right along with all of the other mental notes that I have telling me that I need to sew up my clothes.
• On the plus side I'm still wearing the dress and I accessorized this morning. Not well, might I add, but still. Anyone that knows me know that I am NOT and accessorizer. Is that even a thing? Oh, well.
• I've talked to Mo a couple times this past week, and have reminisced about "the good ole days". You know, you never realize how crazy some of the things you did were until you look back on them. Sorry, about all of those late night/drunken phone calls, Ginger. My bad. Funny, but bad. 
• Have y'all watched the new show on NBC- The Night Shift? If not, you need to. I was perusing the DVR, waiting for my toe polish to dry, last night and stumbled upon this one. It sounded pretty interesting, so I turned it on. Oh. My. God. It is so intense and wonderful. Seriously, watch it. Now.

I have nothing else to tell y'all. I mean, I do, but you know what I mean. I think. So you? Anyways, even though I could probably say a million more things, I'm just going to stop while I'm ahead. Now I'm rambling, because I'm tired. And sick at my stomach this morning. Remind me to tell y'all the convo that Danielle and I had via FB. It's hilarious. My bad. See, there I go rambling again. Wish me luck for tonight. Me plus a room full of teenagers and children, it's bound to be eventful.

What am I even saying?

As I sit here writing this I feel like I could do some serious damage.... in the nap department. That's what I need right about now. A nap. Just a little one.

I know that I should be fully rested. I mean, we're coming off of a three day weekend here. And I got to leave work at noon on Friday. So why am I so tired?

Well, probably because I'm just coming off of a three day weekend, after getting off of work at noon on Friday.

I have stories. I have things to share with you. Not pictures, because I'm a horrible person blogger and forgot to take any while I was drinking hanging out with the family. However, right now I'm barely even coherent. So instead of half-assing a story, I figure I'll just wait until I can coherently put together a paragraph. Or hell, even a sentence.

Can I get an amen?!!

In the words of my old friend/co-worker Mark- "Can I get an amen?!! Hallelujah!!" What for you ask? Three day weekends, that's what! Now, I know the whole world doesn't get three day weekends like some of us do, but just so y'all know, I didn't always get three day weekends. No. Not me. I worked for many years before that was ever an option for me.

Actually until I started the job that I'm at now, I think that I worked every single holiday. I started work when I was fourteen, and my first day was Christmas Eve. Funny, huh? And not everything can stop just because it's a holiday. I mean, when I was a CNA, we couldn't exactly shut down the nursing home/rehab center, now could we? Uh, nope. But the job I'm at now is closed on holidays. Well, except for Uncle Roger. He works Every. Single. Day.

Countdown until I have to be at work after today:

3 days, 18 hours & 21 minutes 

What are y'alls plans for this weekend? I don't know all of mine, but I do know that Sunday Momma and I are going to Aunt Poot and Uncle Darrell's. My family takes our beer race days very seriously, you know. They wanted to have some people over for a cook-out and apparently we are starting an annual kickball match. I haven't played kickball since eighth grade and I am feeling the pressure. Uh, I wasn't the best at sports. Except volleyball and wiffleball. I kicked ass in those two. What?! Just saying. Anyways, it'll be a fun time and I'm in charge of bringing the Crown Royal/pineapple juice chips and Momma is baked mac&cheese. Don't you love how much responsibility my family gives me? Plus, Uncle Roger might let us leave work early today and if he does Dani and I are heading straight to the Mexican restaurant down the road to drink Corona and eat guacamole. #StartTheWeekendOffRight Just dropping in for a minute to say-

Happy holidays!! Hope y'all have a fun & safe (3 day) weekend!! Do Not drink and drive!!

(We're) all a little mad sometimes.

Katie: I hate auto-correct. Momma: Why? It can be really helpful. Katie: Because never once in my life when I was talking to someone have I meant ducking. Momma: What about when you had pet ducks? Katie: Not even then. Momma: You do have the mouth of a sailor. Katie: And the face of an angel? Momma: You just say that cause that lady that you used to take care of said it all the time. Katie: Yeah, smart lady.

Katie: Ok. I'll take you to get some summer clothes. Shy: Yay!! Katie: Hey! Hey! There will be no happiness allowed during this trip. There is strictly get the clothes, try on the clothes, pay for the clothes, and leave. No fun! Shy: Ok. Yay!! Katie: Damn kids don't listen.

Katie: Should I buy new panties? Charlie: Well, depends?? Katie: I mean for dating. I feel that if I start to date, that I should buy new panties. Charlie: Please, tell me it's for what I think it's for. Katie: What if we're in a wreck? Then the paramedics are gonna look at my ID, know we're not related, and then look at my underclothes and be all- "she wore that on a date?" Charlie: You worked in a nursing home too long. Katie: I don't need their judgement. Charlie: I love you. Katie: I love you too.

Momma: Well, that was really sweet of him. Katie: It's a trick. Momma: What's a trick? Katie: Him. Being sweet. It's a trick. I smell something fishy about it. Momma: Maybe he's just a nice guy. Katie: Nobody is just a nice guy. Except Donnie Wahlberg. But no one else. He's got an ulterior motive. Momma: Don't you think he just might be nice? Katie: No. Momma: Then what? Katie: Serial killer. Momma: No more Criminal Minds for you.

Shy: So. Katie: So? Shy: So, when are you gonna get a boyfriend so that we can double date? Katie: Never. Shy: You never want to have a boyfriend. Katie: No. I'll never be double dating with you and your little boyfriend. Shy: And why not? Katie: Because that seems completely horrible. Shy: Ah! I'm offended. Katie: Good. Shy: Me and my boyfriend are adorable. Katie: My boyfriend and I. Shy: Really? Correcting the way I talk? Katie: Well, if you're trying to make a case. Shy: Fine. My boyfriend and I are adorable. Katie: No. No, you're not. Shy: Yes, we are. We hold hands, and walk with his arms around me and kiss. Katie: Eww. Shy: It's not eww. We're adorable and we're gonna fall madly in love and live happily ever after. Katie: You know why? Shy: Why? Because it's meant to be? Katie: No, because you're 14 and everything in your mind is a scene from The Notebook. Shy: Dream killer.

Random shit that you missed while on vay-cay.

Danielle has returned from a glorious week of fun in the sun. Sunshine, mai-tai's, and sandy ocean front resorts. Ahh, living life up in Florida. Huh, girl? Or if you're "street" or "hip" as the kids are saying these days- linizzin' on the beachizle in Flo-rida. I'm lying, no one says that. NO ONE. If you haven't noticed, I've gone a little crazier since you've been gone. My bad.

Seriously, though, I commend you. Why? Because there is no way in hell that I could be around that many children and not be sauced out of my gourds. Honestly, like I would have to be drinking All. The. Time. I wouldn't even need to sleep. It would be sun up? Sun down? Whatevs, bring me the liquor cart! Disneyworld cannot be the happiest place on the planet. After all, it's full of children. And yes, I am very aware of how much of a horrible person I just sounded like right then. Anyways, welcome back...and here is what you missed while you were gone. Well, some of what you missed.

First convo (I say stuff like convo now) with you back: Danielle: Did you miss me? Katie: No. Danielle: Yes, you did. Don't lie. I know you missed me. Katie: No. Danielle: Ass.

• Aunt Susi and I almost died. Literally. I mean, I'm not being dramatic or anything, but that's what happened. First some crazy bitch lady almost side swiped us going 200 mph. Then, Chad force fed us each a large red beans and rice. And coleslaw. It was traumatizing.
• Tony shaved his head and now he looks like a giant _____ with ears. Go ahead, I'll let you fill in the blank with whatever you see fit.
• Anthony M got grounded because he dropped the *f bomb on the bus, and I know what you're thinking. No, he did not hear it from me.
• Yes, I did agree to go out on a date, but I know absolutely nothing about it. Seriously, no details. It's like it never happened and now I'm confused. But I'll be damned if I'm about to bring it up again. By the way- I'll be expecting my cupcakes within the next few days.
• Aunt Susi also dropped her phone into the toilet "a bowl of water" and it went all wonky. Thus creating the weirdest lunch hour that I've ever had. And that's saying something, because I used to work with some crackheads. And I held a woman's head together once. Yes. It's exactly what it sounds like.
• We now know what Uncle Darrell would look like if he had a Donald Trump toupee'. And it is not pretty. 
• Shylyn went camping for five whole days, and came to realize that she never wants to go camping for five days ever again. She hated it and she smelled really bad when she got back. Like, really bad. Once again, too many children in one designated location. Oh yeah, it was her school trip. I guess I should've told you that.

There was a bunch of other stuff that happened to, but now I'm tired of writing, so I would like to stop now. Oh, and don't forget to tell Aunt Susi and Uncle Roger happy anniversary. It's 24 years today. Also, seriously, CUPCAKES. That's not why I said yes, but I still want them.