When you make your relationship "official" (aka, on social media).

Christmas 2018.... I didn't want to drag my ass out of bed and into work. 🎄

Y'all, I would be lying if I said I didn't seriously consider running my foot over with my own car just so I could avoid coming into work today.

Sure, I had the last four days off, because of Christmas, BUT please be aware.... I HAD THE LAST FOUR DAYS OFF SO OF COURSE I DIDN'T WANT TO COME BACK. And yeah, I may have just repeated myself, but I feel like I needed to so that everyone could properly grasp my feelings on the matter.

It was a very nice four days and they were mostly spent chilling with Momma and D.... and cooking, because Christmas dinner. Speaking of Christmas dinner.... my brother and his girl brought the baby down and we all had our "Christmas" (presents and such) on Sunday night and I made all of our dinner on Monday evening.

D and I had our tree down by Monday morning, and let's be honest, I'M SO DAMN HAPPY IT'S DONE. Then we went down to Aunt Poot/Uncle Doodle's yesterday for about 1.5-2 hours and then came home. While Momma napped, D and I watched Shaun of the Dead (how has it taken me this f*cking long to watch that movie?!) and started watching Underworld: Blood Wars, but didn't get to finish it. Oops.

All in all, it was a great time and while there are more details about the last four days and the things that go along with it (you know, like D and I "going FB official" and how I should probably be more offended that so many people thought I was going to die alone, but I oddly enough don't care?), I'll have to talk about it some other time, because I currently have the attention span of a ferret on methamphetamine.

Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down. ❤️

It's almost like I'm seventeen again.... but with a slightly better haircut and skincare routine. Emphasis on the slightly.

A few months ago (maybe six or so?) a decision was made. It was a big decision. Huge decision. The kind of decision that is more or less life changing and if it blows up in your face, you're left standing there like WTF??!!!!??!?!???!!

There were quite a few people that thought this enormous decision came out of left field (maybe it did a little bit?) and that it is insane (maybe it is?), but the truth is, a great deal more thought was put into it than what they realize. Why?

Well, like I said, we made the decision probably six months ago and then I proceeded to tell NO ONE other than a few select people.

And when I say "a few select" I truly mean it. Only the people whose lives would be directly affected were told.

The decision was that we would get a new roommate.... that was moving up from Florida (1,000 miles away).... and that he would stay.... and that we would all live together.... and that he and I would kind of date.... again. Oh yeah, did I leave that teeny detail out? He's kinda also my highschool sweetheart. And by "kinda" I mean.... he was my highschool sweetheart.

Before you start rolling your eyes and making your list of reasons to have me involuntarily committed, just know, we are all very happy about this. Like, seriously. It's a little ridiculous how goofily happy we all are. Weird.

For the record, it all went down like this, because I'm fairly private about that area of my life (for the most part).

He drove up this past Saturday (12/15) with his dog and a car full of stuff (a very small load, and it just further solidified my stance as a hoarder). His mother and brother rode with him so he wouldn't have to make that ridiculously long trip (around sixteen hours or something stupid like that?) alone and then they turned right around and I had to take them to the airport early Sunday morning so they could catch their flight home. (He would've come up sooner, but his little sister, aka the best little sister I never had, got married on 12/8 and there's no way anybody, myself included, wanted him to miss that!)

I took Monday off, because I figured we would all need time to adjust and organize, but if I'm being honest, we all (him, Momma, our two pups, his pup, and myself) kind of just fell right into it and we've had no problems (knock on wood). Although, now all of us have been super confused this week, because we thought all day Monday was Sunday and our schedules look like a scene from The Shining. But we're all happy, having fun and it feels like we picked up right where we left off (he lived with us back then.... don't ask, long story). We all adore each other and we're officially a family again.

So yeah, there it is.

I rearranged furniture and watched Sweeney Todd on this Friday night, like the true party animal that I am. 🦁

Living our lives by the Christmas tree light. (My pups sleep better than me).

An Open Letter: To the best little sister I never had. ❤️

I've mentioned here and there about my highschool sweetheart. And I don't talk about it often, because I try not to be a "mushy" person, but in order to say the next part, I need you to know that he and his family were beyond amazing to me and we've all stayed in touch. With that being said, his little sister, whom I love dearly, is getting married in a couple of weeks. And while I can't be there (we all live about 1,000 miles apart), I wanted her to know that I was thinking about her and love her.

Dear Sweet Caitlyn,

Firstly, I would like to apologize for not being able to attend your wedding. Trust me when I say it is not from a lack of want. I truly wanted to be there, unfortunately life doesn't always go the way that you want it to. Don't let anybody fool you, being a responsible adult is hard. Even just being a regular ole adult is hard, but especially being a responsible one. I hope you understand, and I know that it’s going to be amazing, because that’s just how you do things.

I wish that I had some pearls of wisdom to give you. It would be nice to pass on some advice that would help you out or sound profound, however, I have never been married, so there is really nothing I could offer you on that front. It would be like trying to tell a pilot how to fly a plane, I've never done it, therefore he would probably crash and burn. Because of this, I don't plan on even attempting to tell you how it should go.

I will give you a little bit of advice though. What?! I have some form of wisdom.

My advice to you, my dear sweet girl, is to be happy. I know that sounds plain and you're probably thinking- "Really?! That's all you got lady?!" But trust me when I say this is important. Anyone can claim to be happy and some are even fantastic performers when it comes down to it.

But, I'm not telling you to be the kind of happy that you think you should be. I'm telling you to be the kind of happy that you deserve. There's a big difference.

While I am not, nor ever have been married, I assume that the rules are pretty standard. You know the basics, it's your everyday common sense and rules your Momma taught you when you were growing up. "Treat others how you want to be treated", "Cheating is wrong no matter which way you look at it", "Talk about your problems" and "When things are tough, hold your head high and proud". I don't know if those actually apply to marriage, but if they don’t, they definitely should.

Now, I’m sure at some point in your life someone has said to you, "You are too young to get married, you've got plenty of time, what's the big hurry? Take things slow". I should probably be an adult about this and take the sides of those people. I really should.

But I'm not going to.

Call it the eternal optimistic, hopeless romantic in me, but I'm just not going to agree with them. Don't tell anybody this, but I do believe in love. True love. The kind that puts butterflies in your belly, wandering thoughts in your head and a smile as wide as the countryside on your face. And while I believe all of this, I don't believe that it has an age limit. Sure, there are exceptions. Some think that they're in love and come to find out that it was a childhood crush or silly infatuation. But real love, it's there and you know for certain when it's there. When you find that whether you are young, elderly, or somewhere in between, it's a beautiful thing. Love is not one of those constricting things, it comes in many different ways and it truly is a blessing.

Besides, who wants to wait to start forever?

I'm not trying to get all heavy with you. I'm just trying to tell you some things that I've learned. And the biggest things that I've learned in my twenty-eight years are this: You will always have doubts, there are going to be things in your life that scare you and there are circumstances that are out of your parallel to control. No matter how much you want to, you can't control everything. However, you do have a choice. And the choice you have is to be true to yourself. Do not let other people dictate your happiness.

You are your own person and you are plenty capable to make your own choices. You're a smart young lady, Caitlyn, and you know what you're doing. You know that you can’t think of just yourself, as you have that beautiful little boy to think of. You know that you’re a package deal and you’ve found a man that has taken on the love of your life as his own. If you have found your happiness, then you hold onto that and figure out the rest of it as you go. Remember when people said that you were too young? Well, good news, you are young. Therefore, you have plenty of time to figure things out. You're going to screw up; Brad is going to screw up. No one is perfect. But you can figure it out.

I just thought that you should know that I have no doubt in you.

I believe that you're an amazing girl and that you're going to do miraculous things with your life. It's going to be hard and you're going to have self-doubt, but you're going to persevere. That's just the type of person that you are. You have that same voice in your head, flare in your heart and glint in your eye that you’ve had since the day I met you. You truly are the best little sister I never had and could ever ask for.

With all of that being said, I would just like to finish by saying that I'm very happy for you. Congratulations!! This is amazing and you're going to have such a spectacular day (not just one day, but I'm referring to the actual wedding part). I wish that I could be there, but I send all my love your way.

You're going to make a beautiful bride. Why wouldn't you?! You're already beautiful, flowers and fancy dresses are just going to amplify that. I love you.

Xoxo,
Katie

How I'm really feeling the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.

I have yesterday's hair and no make-up, BUT I showed up to do payroll AND wore pants. So basically, they should just be happy I managed to crawl in here.

However, I don't wanna drag myself out of bed (or in the interest of full disclosure, off the couch where I passed out) and I think this look of exhaustion and bewilderment is permanently stamped on my face for the day.

Maybe even the entire week, depending on how it goes. And sure, after tomorrow I'm off for FOUR WHOLE DAYS, but I have to make it through today and tomorrow to get there.

Can I even do that? You know, drag myself around for almost 48 more hours? Who even knows at this point. You may have to go on without me. We shall see.

UPDATE: It's now Wednesday and I'm literally about to walk out of work (UR is letting me off about 1 hour, 45 minutes early), and I made it. I'm still being incredibly dramatic (let's be honest, incredibly dramatic is just apart of my general personality), but I did in fact make it through.

Now, if you'll excuse me.... FOUR WHOLE DAYS.

I'm not strong enough to make it through Mariah Carey again. 😬

I finally sucked it up and chopped it off.... and I may do more next time.

What is hair to me?!!?! To you?!!?! To all of us?!!?!

I've always kind of believed that there was "power" in hair. And I know that sounds about as stupid as something can, but it was almost like if a woman had beautiful hair than she had a firm grasp on everything in her life. And if you're anything like me, you were taught that "long" hair meant "beautiful" hair.

Seriously.... when was the last time that you heard a story about a conqueress or sorceress or even "wanton" maiden in a cheap romance novel have short hair? It just wasn't a thing. Everytime I thought about cutting my hair, that's what I would think. I would think, well.... a woman can't be attractive without long hair, right?! People just relegate her to "ordinary."

And that's when I realized, that I was being 100% ridiculous and buying into a stereotype that I don't buy into for any single other thing. Why does a woman have to have long hair to feel beautiful.... or empowered.... or feminine?!!?!

The answer is simple.... they don't. And it's time we all stop thinking that they should.

Besides, Kelly Ripa has had short hair for the better part of the last twenty years AND SHIT HAS BEEN WORKING OUT REALLY WELL FOR KELLY RIPA.

I've been talking about chopping my hair off for the better part of two years, even going so far as to make pro/con lists and constantly reminding myself why I wanted to chop it all off. But, I would talk about all of the cute "short" hairstyles and think about it.... and then chicken out. I would make the decision to chop it all off immediately.... and then back out about ten minutes later. Almost a year ago, I had a teeny bit cut off and then instantly let it go crazy again, because I felt so "exposed." Honestly, I've talked about the love/hate relationship that I have with my hair pretty regularly.... mishaps and all.

But, on Sunday I finally had enough. And I went to get my haircut immediately so I couldn't back out of it. Do you ever get knots in your stomach and you don't know why? That totally happened to me. The nice lady who cut my hair (her name was Joyce and I should probably just go back to her for the rest of my hairstyling life) let me know about a inch would have to come off to get it to a healthy point. An inch.... not too much, right? It's true, an inch isn't that much. It's basically nothing at all in the grand scheme of things.... which is why I told her to cut it off this much (and I pointed to where I wanted my hair to fall). She confirmed that I was in fact not on LSD and knew how much hair I would be "losing" and I confirmed that's what I wanted. Y'all, I had her cut ten inches of my hair off.

TEN. F*CKING. INCHES. OF. HAIR. GOOONNNNNNEEEEEEE.

That's not counting the layers that are now roaming free on my head. I can't even stress to you how much better it feels. It's still kind of weird, because I keep grabbing for it when I wash it and stuff, but I don't regret chopping it off one bit. It's just a little bit past my shoulders, which is not as short as I have previously discussed, but I figured ten inches gone (it was touching my butt) was a hell of a start and if I continue to like it I could always have a little more taken off each time I go back.

Sure, at first I had all of those insane/unfabricated fears creep into my head, like does a dude like to run his fingers through short hair? Do you know how many guys run their fingers through my hair? I'll go ahead and let you know the answer is.... NONE. Dude, even when I was dating or in a relationship (days that I certainly don't miss, but people keep liking to bring up on occasion) guys couldn't run their fingers through my hair. Seriously, have you ever seen my hair?!!?!

We're talking Monica Geller circa 2003 The One in Barbados Part I.

You know what? I'm fine with that. Why I have stopped taking a man's opinion into account for every other aspect of my life, but not this one, I'll never know.... yet, here we are. I would say "living the dream" but that feels a little bit dramatic even for me.

Yes, it's a learning curve as far as styling, but I'm getting the hang of it more and more each time. I've decided I have to put a little more effort into my appearance.... for no one other than myself. Because it makes me feel a little better to look a little better. Or, if not better, at least like there was some sort of effort. Besides, Dani is officially trusting me with more responsibilities (and money) at work (she has been for quite awhile), so I should probably try to not look homeless or like I'm coming off of a four-day bender at least two or three days a week.

To this end I say, if you want long hair- have long hair. If you want short hair- have short hair. If you want to shave your head- then shave your damn head and rock that shit, because you got this. And if you're me, you'll try to get out of your own head and know that hair doesn't mean shit and you're you no matter what's on top of your f*cking head.

How have I made it twenty-eight years without realizing this?!!?! 🤯

*a random conversation between Dani and I at work this afternoon when she thought she was missing a shirt button*

Me: Aren't all buttons traditionally on the left side of the shirt?
Danielle: I don't know. I know mens and womens are different, but I can't remember which is which.
Me: Wait.... they are?
Danielle: Yeah, just like zippers.
Me: ...... WHAT?!
Danielle: Yeah, mens and womens pants zip on different sides.
Me: ......... how in the actual f*ck have I never noticed this?!!
Danielle: Because you're obviously not very observant of shit like that.
Me: ............. *confusion and exasperation while trying to remember every pair of pants I've ever seen* ......

How in the actual f*ck is it NOT the weekend yet?!!?! *vexation* 🤬

Y'all, it's that time of year again. No, not the time of year where leaves start changing and the air gets crisp (even though, yes, it is also that time).... the time where everything is cool and all you want to do is stay at home in your sweatpants and eat junk and drink booze and watch tv.

But, apparently that's my forever 24 hour a day/365 days a year mood? Whatever.

The point is, I have very little, if any, effort for most things in life right now and the fact that I am extremely UNmotivated is forever present.

And my keyboard at work is doing this really weird thing where the "N" key won't work and it's RUINING MY LIFE. You know, not to be dramatic or anything.

I just want to stay home with my dogs and watch tv and wear comfy clothes and drink copious amounts of booze (ps: remind me to tell you about how the stranger on Instagram thought I "looked like a freaking cool person" and "I totally enjoy wine").... and maybe finish that haunted series on Netflix?

On the plus size, it is in fact Thursday and it's supposed to rain tomorrow and Saturday, so maybe it'll be one of those "lazy" kind of weekends? HA!! I got all the jokes. Seriously though, I had to scrape ice off of my windshield every morning this week, so I think we'll just call it a draw and go take a nap. Good? Good.

I had to explain the concept of time to my brother. *insert confusion*

*while talking about the fact that I thought the clock in our hallway (it chimes out every hour and half hour) was running fast*

Me: I think the clock in the hallway is fast.

Brother: Oh yeah, it's four minutes fast. I set all of my clocks four minutes fast.

Me: .......... ??!?!!!?!??!! ..........

Brother: I set all of my clocks fast. I would set *points at the clock on our cable box* this one fast and the one on my phone fast if I could.

Me: ......... First off, don't touch any of our clocks or anything else for that matter. Second, why?

Brother: Because that way when I look at a clock or my alarm goes off I always have four additional minutes so I'm never late.

Me: ........... ?!!!?!?????!!!!?!?!

Brother: *rolls eyes* It's a trick, Katie.... duh.

Me: *looks at him like wtf for a few more seconds* You know that trick only works when you're not aware of it, right?

Brother: No, it always works. You're just not getting it. Let me explain it again.... *tells me the entire theory again*

Me: No.... it only works when you're not aware of it. Because if you know that all of your clocks are set four minutes fast, which you are because you're the one that did it, you know as soon as it goes off you have that "extra" four minutes. Meaning, you still procrastinate, make yourself late, and repeat that exact process over and over.

Brother: ...........  ?!!?!?!????!!!!?!?!?!!! ..........