I drove home from the airport alone while it was pitch black (not the movie).

This past Thursday, D's mom and nephew (he's five) flew in for a visit. We got to pick them up from the airport about 7:30 in the evening (after working all day and trying to clean the house/mow the grass/go to the grocery store after we got off, but before we picked them up.... we were down to the wire I tell you!) and I had to take them to the airport by 5:30 yesterday morning.

D was supposed to go to the airport with us, but that sleepyhead didn't want to wake up and I am not about to have that argument.... this time.

So, onwards we went and while Trish (D's mom) was real worried about me driving home from the airport by myself with it being as dark as it was, I made it with minor mishaps (interstates being closed are life ruiners) and now I am here to tell the tale.

Or, something like that.

It was a nice weekend and we all had a fun time. While I'm coming back from having three days in a row off, I feel like I haven't slept and have been going for two weeks straight? But, that could just be my mental health trying to restabilize itself from having a five year old at the house (we rarely, if ever, have visitors, let alone kids.... Gabby isn't even hardly there!).

Friday we went out for breakfast, ran to get Brei some toys, and hung around the house for the rest of the evening. We even had a movie night (The Last Airbender.... how have I not seen this before and why aren't they making its sequel?).... after D started a spray paint fight that I more than kicked his ass in and then took my victory lap. Saturday we stopped off to get a little Mickey D's and then headed downtown to the canal and rented a paddle boat for a bit. It was fun and while it was hot on Saturday, it felt nice being on the water. Then we went home and proceeded to play a card game called Phase10 (it's real fun, but harder than you would think!).... that is, after we had all indulged in some drinks.

Speaking of drinks, we all indulged in them both Friday and Saturday and our menu for the time was delicious. Thursday after the airport consisted of shepherd's pie. Friday consisted of tacos. And Saturday was all about the spicy chicken wings and asparagus. I'm really surprised D didn't make ribs, but we'll just have that next time.

Oh, and I tried Bloody Mary's for the first time. While they aren't and won't be my first drink of choice, they were also tastier than what I thought they were going to be. Afterall, I had a bad experience with "red beer" once, so to say I was a bit apprehensive would be an understatement.

There were some good laughs and some meaningful talks and I met my "new" nephew (he's five, but new to me since he's D's nephew). It was pretty easy to adore him like I adore Gabby since his mom is and always has been the best little sister I never had. We all laughed, cried, and had some real moments. Both sad and happy. Even Greg got to partake. He had to work, so he didn't get to spend the days with us, but he was around for the afternoons/evenings.

Trish listened to me about Momma and she told me about her life and we both shared about D. All in all, I don't know if it could've went better.

It was definitely worth all of that stressing to get the house finished (well, the living room/kitchen that we've been working on since March) and while cleaning up that back bedroom was a nightmare, I'm glad it was ready so they could have their own sleeping space/room and be comfortable. And while I have to clean the house (again! it's a never ending battle when you live with all dudes) after I get off of work today, I'm hoping to have leftovers for dinner and maybe relax and catch a shark movie tonight. Maybe some good ole pup cuddles and a well-deserved shower soak.

With that being said, I need to go sleep for six weeks. Please, excuse me. (Ps: they were totally worth getting up at 4:30am for).

Grab your los submarinos and let's go. Zombieland 2.... Double Tap.

Y'all, this coming October will be ten years since I walked into a theatre with a friend (and her boyfriend/a couple of his friends) and watched the cinematic adventure that is.... ZOMBIELAND.

And now, with the 10th anniversary just around the corner, they are FINALLY releasing a sequel to this, for lack of a better word, MASTERPIECE.

D and I are so excited about this, that we may actually even go to the theatre to watch it (something we never do, because we both hate movie theatres and they freak me out). There are very few movies that I actually go to a theatre to watch (I usually just wait for the dvd), with the exception of when Momma took me to see Beauty and the Beast and Poot and I went and seen Bohemian Rhapsody. But this one?

It might just be worth it.

We're so close.... and yet so far away.... but so damn close.

Remember those pesky home renovations that I've been talking about for the last few months? Well, they're still in full effect and at this point, I may in fact pull my hair out by the roots.

The only benefit of living in a house that you're also doing work in is the fact that you can break when you want to and shower whenever you need to. (Unless of course, you're remodeling the bathroom.... which we're not doing right now TFG!!) The pains in the asses outweigh the good, but then again, we do what we can and leave the rest for another day.

With all of that being said, this weekend was rather productive.

We finally finished painting our kitchen (with the exception of the ceiling), got the backsplash completed (and before you ask, yes we used tiny tile samples and it's weird, but that's what we were going for), cleaned off the top of our cabinets and put shelf liner on the top (to make it easier to clean, because we have metal cabinets and they are a bitch to scrub clean once there's that much "gunk"), got half of our cabinets painted, and I repainted one living room wall and its trim.

Our house is weird and dark, but also colorful and completely insane to the point no one else would want it, but that's what we're going for. We didn't want something "normal" we wanted something "us." And oh man, is that what we're getting.

The cabinets are silver, blue, brown, and white. The backsplash is about every color you could think of. Our floor is two-toned with red and dark brown, and our walls are navy blue. All the trim is charcoal, and the ceiling, once we get around to it, will be black. In other words, there's alot going on.

And that's just our kitchen.

We also cleaned off the top of the cabinets where we have a few cookie jars (Momma's), odd knick-knacks, and old liquor bottles and threw away the liquor bottles that we had duplicate (or more) of. You know what I learned from this experience? We may in fact have a drinking problem. But, in the words of Dennis Reynolds, what do you do with that kind of information? You bury it way deep down and keep an eye on it.

Our living room is blue-grey and green with charcoal trim and it also has a black ceiling. Well, technically right now one wall is also red, but I'll be painting that when I get off of work today.

The living room is also our bedroom and that in and of itself is weird, but we don't care. Like I said, we go with what we like/want and it all works for us just the way we like it.

If you're wondering why it's the sudden surge of getting all of this done, it's because D would like to have it completed (at least the majority of it) by the time his mom and nephew come to visit.... I pick them up at the airport on Thursday night. Yeah, so we officially have three and a half days to finish painting the living room (three walls), finish the trim work, paint the kitchen ceiling (and touch up the living room), and paint the remaining cabinets. Oh, and hang the spice rack that Devon built.... and finish staining/clear coating the one piece of kitchen floor and the remaining counter. And, all of this is being done after we get off of work, so you know, fun times. We also need to clean the back bedroom and the rest of the house to get it all ready for company (we don't have company often, so it throws me off when we do), and I need to do laundry.

On the bright side, since his mom and nephew are coming for a visit, not only is the never-ending battle of redecorating/ renovating that's been driving me crazy being accomplished, but I'm also off on Friday (three day weekend!)

So, you know, there's that. *silver-lining*

I love our new bed.... but it would be better if only I could sleep (in general).

I woke up at about 1:00 yesterday morning with the most intense pain shooting through my head.

And, it wasn't a headache kind of pain (I'm prone to migraines, so I'm pretty well versed in what an actual headache is), but a legit searing pain that was shooting straight through my head. It actually got to the point that I was sitting up in our bed, holding my head, and rocking back and forth. I took some ibuprofen and even that didn't help (usually that can cut any pain of mine fairly quickly), and eventually around 1:30 I had to get up and get in our shower to let the water beat down on my head.

It helped a little and since it was making me feel sick at my stomach, I figured it was a decent idea to be near the bathroom in the event of upchucking all previous matters.

There for awhile though, I thought I was gonna have to wake D up. I'm not sure what I thought he could do about it or what that would accomplish, but I thought about it for a minute.

Finally, once I had let the shower beat my head for awhile, I laid back down in the bed in front of the fan and tried to go back to sleep. I know this sounds weird, but every time I don't feel "good", whether it be my head, stomach etc., I always take a shower and then lay down in front of the fan and try to get myself as cold as possible. For some reason, the colder I get, the better I tend to feel and it's been like that for as long as I can remember. Apparently my body accepts cold far better than it does heat.

And yeah, I know that's insane, but it's the facts.

Other than that, I just can't seem to fall asleep/stay asleep. And it's not the bed, because it's incredibly comfortable. Not to mention, I love the fact that all five of us (Me + D + our three pups) fit in it perfectly. But, it's me. I've always had issues with sleeping, but it's been months now since I fell asleep at a decent hour and slept through the night. In fact, it's been so long, I honestly don't even remember when the last time was.

But, even though I can't sleep (something I have to tell my doctor about when I see her next month, because she wants an honest update on "how I'm doing/feeling"), at least I have a nice comfy bed to lay in surrounded by this cuteness while I watch tv.

2019 films.... and catch up from 2018. (Part I).

It seems like forever ago since I did one of my "movie review" kind of things. And it probably feels like that, because it'll be a year next month.

You see, I used to do one every few months and talk about the movies that I had watched over that timespan and it didn't seem all that daunting and I always had alot of fun with it. And then life does what it does and you're left standing there not really knowing how to go forward or how to continue to do things that bring you joy.

But, I've always loved writing. And while I'm not an expert and most of my topics are random and/or unimportant, I enjoy rambling on and on about absolutely nothing. It's kind of my specialty and I'm sure anyone that knows me (especially D) would agree with that.

So, I've decided to play a little bit of "catch up" and see if I can't keep up with it on and off here and there. Sound good? Either way, it's happening.... probably.

Catch up from 2016.
Catch up from 2017: Part I, Part II, Part III.
Catch up from 2018: Part I, Part II.

September (2018) films: Terrifier, The Colony.

My favorite: I've never been one to be afraid of clowns or anything like that, but after watching this, I can totally understand why some people have that phobia, so I'm going with.... Terrifier. This movie was so intense and while it is considered a "B" movie, it seriously creeped me out. Momma and I had a ball watching this on a rainy day. Least favorite of the month: the only reason that this movie is my least favorite, is because there were only two and the first one beat it out.... The Colony. But, it's still good and not only would I watch it again, I would recommend it.

September's rewatched from years gone by: I'm sure we rewatched some old movies during this time, but I apparently didn't feel the need to document them.

October (2018) films: Tag, Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid, Leatherface, Skyscraper.

My favorite: I laughed so hard that I almost peed my pants.... Tag. It was hilarious and I loved it so much that after we Redboxed it, I waited for it to be available and bought it out of the box. Least favorite of the month: I'm not going to lie, I was little disappointed.... Skyscraper. I love The Rock (and yes, I still use his arena name, not his legit name) and this movie wasn't horrible, it just definitely wasn't one of my favorites. Not even close.

October's rewatched from years gone by: Anaconda, Texas Chainsaw 3D, Friday the 13th(2009), Rob Zombie's Halloween.

November (2018) films: Bohemian Rhapsody, The First Purge, Winter's Bone, Slender Man, Tomb Raider(2018), The Meg.

My favorite: This is a hard one, because I loved the majority of the movies that I watched, but I'll go with.... The Meg. I'm a sucker for a good shark movie and this one did not disappoint me. I mean, ridiculous sharks, hilarious moments, and Jason Statham? Yes, please. Least favorite of the month: Like I said, they were all pretty good except.... Slender Man. I just didn't like this movie at all and thought it was real boring and dumb. It seemed like it would be good, especially through the previews, but I wasn't impressed even in the slightest.

November's rewatched from years gone by: The Expendables, The Expendables 2, New York Minute.

December (2018) films: Mission Impossible: Fallout, The Nun, Shaun of the Dead.

My favorite: I will watch all of these movies for as long as they make them.... Mission Impossible: Fallout. Momma and I made it a mission to see basically every Tom Cruise movie that came out and this one was as good as the other ones that we love and that list is long. Least favorite of the month: Apparently horror movies were all about disappointment for a couple of months.... The Nun. Once again, it looked awesome and let us down in every which way.

December's rewatched from years gone by: Blade II, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

January's films: Halloween(2018), Benchwarmers.

My favorite: This was the last horror movie that Momma and I got to watch together.... Halloween(2018). We've always watched scary movies together and loved them and it's kind of special that this one was the last Michael movie together. Least favorite of the month: This was the last movie in general that Momma and I watched together.... The Benchwarmers. I didn't think it was all that great, I expected it to be funnier, and I'm sure Momma is currently laughing and happy that she napped through the majority of it.

January's rewatched from years gone by: The Mummy, The Mummy Returns.

February's films: Night School, John Wick 2, The Predator(2018), Need for Speed.

My favorite: In my personal opinion, you just couldn't beat the cast.... The Predator(2018). Thomas Jane is one of my favorites, so I showed up for him and stayed, because it was just too damn good. Least favorite of the month: I love him and the movie was good.... John Wick 2. I really liked it, but I just liked the others a little better.

February's rewatched from years gone by: Again, I'm sure I rewatched some movies, but didn't feel the need to document them and now I can't remember. What do they say? Without pictures there's no proof?

March's films: Overlord, Robin Hood, Triple Frontier.

My favorite: It was neck and neck, but.... Overlord. I mean, zombie Nazis. COME ON. I loved it and will probably watch it many more times. Least favorite of the month: I thought it was going to be better than what it was.... Triple Frontier. With that cast? I expected an amazing movie and instead met a decent one. It was alright, just not fantastic.

March's rewatched from years gone by: Domino.

April's films: Aquaman, Orange County, Super Troopers 2, The Highwaymen.

My favorite: Who knew that I would love a movie so much that didn't really involve sharks.... Aquaman. Jason Momoa is just the right combination of badass and hilarious to make me want to keep watching this one over and over again. Least favorite of the month: While I love me some Jack Black.... Orange County. It was alright, but I guess I was just expecting something else. JB's parts were hilarious, but the rest of it was missing something for me.

April's rewatched from years gone by: The Hunger Games, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part I, The Hunger Games, Mockingjay Part II, Horrible Bosses, Horrible Bosses 2, Freddy vs. Jason.

May's films: Extremely Wicked- Shockingly Evil- & Vile, Bad Ass, Bad Ass 2: Bad Asses, Bad Asses on the Bayou, Killer Elite, Stan Helsing.

My favorite: Give me Danny Trejo at his most hilarious.... Bad Ass. I loved all of these movies and adore the fact that they have badass Danny Trejo still being tough, but also being funny as hell. And wearing a fanny pack. Least favorite of the month: I should have known better.... Stan Helsing. I'm usually a sucker for the "spoof" movies, and I loved the cast, but this just wasn't it for me.

May's rewatched from years gone by: Kingsman: The Secret Circle, Legion, Bad Boys II, Don't Breathe, Savages, Starsky & Hutch, 300: Rise of an Empire.

June's films: Wolves, Tremors 2: Aftershocks, Tremors 3: Back to Perfection, Tremors 4: The Legend Begins, Tremors 6: A Cold Day in Hell, Hit Man, Get Smart, The Grinch Stole Christmas, Murder Mystery, Movie 43, Hell Fest, John Carter.

My favorite: I may get alot of flack for this one.... Wolves. A totally underrated movie. Put MacGyver and Jason Momoa together and let them be predators and I'm there for it. Least favorite of the month: Again, I'll probably get alot of flack.... The Grinch Stole Christmas. Call me old fashioned, but I adore the original and watching people be mean to The Grinch is heartbreaking.

June's rewatched from years gone by: Taken, Taken 2, The Punisher, Jumanji, Baywatch, The Crazies, Deadpool 2, Blade, Blade II, Blade: Trinity, Good Luck Chuck, Indiana Jones: The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Wanted, Superbad, Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters.

Documentaries watched: Michael Jackson: Life, Death, & Legacy, Abducted in Plain Sight, Audrie & Daisy.

Standup watched: Nate Bargatze: The Tennessee Kid, Kevin Hart: Irresponsible, Gabriel Iglesias: I'm Sorry for What I Said When I Was Hungry, Kevin Hart: What Now?, Katt Williams: Kattpacalypse, Katt Williams: The Pimp Chronicles Part I, Katt Williams: It's Pimpin' Pimpin', Katt Williams: American Hustle, Adam Devine: Best Time of Our Lives.

Tv series I've finished: Strangers Things (S1-3), Bones (S1-12), The 100 (S1-5), Santa Clarita Diet (S1-3), Grace & Frankie (S5), The Blacklist (S1-5), The Ranch (Part 6), Breaking Bad (S5), Dead to Me (S1), Mr. Iglesias (S1), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (S13).

Still on my queue (but let's be honest, I probably don't even have the interest to watch them all): The Walking Dead, Lucifer, The Punisher, Once Upon a Time, Supernatural, Dexter, Blue Bloods, Longmire, The Vampire Diaries, The Originals, Peaky Blinders, Lost Girl, Van Helsing, Bitten, American Horror Story, Black Summer, Bates Motel, Criminal Minds, The Night Shift.

My nervous breakdown was temporarily averted for another day.

Y'all, it's amazing what the combination of wine/vodka, antidepressants, dogs, and a clean house can do for your mood.

I kid.... mostly. But, I did feel like I was about to have a catastrophic mental break yesterday and I was completely worn out. I seriously didn't think I was going to be able to do anything, let alone a list of things, but I forced myself with everything that I had to at the very least clean my disgusting clusterf*ck of a house, because I'm pretty sure that's where 93% of my anxiety was coming from. You know, for yesterday at least, because every day there's a new thing that gives me anxiety attacks.

Oh, what fun it is.

So yeah, as soon as I got off of work yesterday I headed straight to the house and started cleaning as soon as I walked in the door, because I knew if I sat down for even a minute I would lose all momentum and that's not something that comes easily to me these days. And when D got home, he started right in on helping me. Even my brother helped here and there and that's basically unheard of.

I had the kitchen, bathroom, etc. done by the time they got there and they helped me with the living room and the back bedroom. So now, when the guys deliver our bed today, it will fit and be surrounded by cleanliness. I'm even almost caught up on laundry, I have to wash the new sheet/comforter that I got for our bigger bed and then one to two more loads and it's all done.

And sure, there's still an endless list of shit that has to be done (like finishing the paint/trim/backsplash in the kitchen, repaint two walls/finish trim in the living room, mow the front yard/clean up the weeds, give the pups another bath, get the back room ready for company, figure out what's going on with our electric in the kitchen, etc.), and I can barely move and stay awake today, let alone function (it's not going well and I may very well pass out or sit on the couch and not be able to move the rest of the night), but wins are so few and far between these days that I'll take what I can get.

That my friends, is where I am. Not well, but not as bad in the nervous breakdown department today.

Honestly though, give it time, it's definitely coming.... possibly even later on today. The way I feel these days, I never know when it's going to happen and while it's frustrating and terribly inconvenient, it's my life now.

This picture was taken Sunday evening post kitchen painting/precleaning.

My house is a mess and I may or may not have a nervous breakdown.

To say that my house is a giant clusterf*ck right now would be the understatement of the century. Seriously, it's that damn bad.

Between living with two boys and three dogs and the fact that I have no motivation to clean, it almost looks like an episode of Hoarders up in there. And while I want it clean, and I need it clean, I can't seem to build up the momentum to actually do shit about it. I know that sounds horrible, but it's just the truth.

We painted our kitchen yesterday and while it's mostly completed, it to feels like a never ending task. Yes, I love the color and am happy that my walls are no longer covered in flat paint, but there's still a little painting left to do, the trim work, and the backsplash. So yeah, there's that.

But, I can't finish that this evening, because when I get home I have to rearrange furniture and try like hell to clean, because we have a bed being delivered tomorrow around 4:00. We currently have a full size bed, but I'm one of those people that likes their dogs to sleep with them, so we are upgrading to a king size.

And apparently D has lost his wallet somewhere in the house that I have taken to calling the pit of despair. So, we have to look for that too. *scratch that, apparently he found it in our backyard? don't ask* Oh, and the outlets in my kitchen are still not functioning even though they have been replaced. Extension cords are now a never-ending part of my life now, I guess?

I've also decided that we should repaint the red walls in our living room a different color (I'm thinking maybe a dark green?), because you can see the lines real bad and it's just not covering like it should. Add that to the f*cking list.

Basically, I'm just writing this to vent and complain and list out all the shit that I have to do that needs done asap and try to figure out where I will get all of this motivation from. All I can say about that is good luck to myself and hope for the best.

Yeah.... that's where I am with it.

Dude.... what in the serious f*ck is this?!!?!

So.... Dani started reading a trending story to me this morning about a woman trying to sell an Iphone (I'm assuming via Facebook or Craigslist?) and some dude being THE WORST about it.

And, since I have sold about five things via Facebook (two tables, two air conditioners, and a ceiling fan), it caught my interest even more. Luckily, I was pretty fortunate when it came to the people who bought the things I sold *knock on wood* but this woman didn't get as lucky.

Dude.... to start with, if a guy feels the need to tell you that he's "a nice guy" on that consistent of a basis, chances are he is definitely not a "nice guy" and you should yank yourself up out of that situation as soon as f*cking possible.

Also, why does it necessarily have to be, because "she's a woman"? I feel like it may have nothing to do with the fact that she's a woman and he's a man and more to do with the fact that they're both complete strangers. I definitely don't want random people having my address/ showing up to my house. And it's not because I'm a woman, but because I hate people and don't want them around.

This guy is pushy and no matter where he goes from here, he will forever remain with "creeper" status attached to himself.

I seriously want to look at this guy and be like, you do realize that's it's not just women that are raped, right? It's a problem that you can't associate with one specific gender, but is a legitimate problem across the board.

Lastly, did this motherf*cker want the Iphone or not?!

July 4th fell on a Thursday.... and we're all pretty blah about it.

No one wanted to come into work this morning.

And I'm not just talking at my job, I'm talking about across the US. In fact, I found the perfect response to people asking me how my fourth was. I loved it so much, in fact, that I printed it off and I'll be hanging it on the back of my computer at work:

My day off was good.
My 4th was good.
Saw some fireworks. They were good.
Ate some hotdogs. Also good.
Please stop making small talk with me,
my life is an endless tunnel of pain and
you're not helping.

Even though I ate nachos instead of hotdogs, the sentiment remains the same.

Instead of going down for a cookout like we have for years (I wasn't feeling like it and don't enjoy doing all of the same things that Momma and I used to do together, it's just not the same and I don't feel right about it), I decided to stay home for the 4th.

Devon and I ran to the store to pick up stuff for homemade nachos and a few little fireworks and then I spent the day burrowed into my cave with my pups (and of course D) binge-watching the third season of Stranger Things (and OMG y'all!! it was soooooo good!).

We stayed in our fort like this all day (#noregrets) and then around 9:45 last night Bubba and I set off fireworks and we watched the firework show downtown (you can see it from our backyard) for a few minutes and then we all went to bed (well, I showered and then went to bed), where I did get some pretty good pup snuggles last night (Spart isn't a fan of all the noise that was going down outside).

We were all in bed by 11:30, because as I said.... America was independent yesterday, but had to show up for work today.