Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Well kids, here we are.... again.

I don't know how in the hell it happened, but somehow another year has come and gone. And here I am, writing another post asking how in the hell it happened. Dejavu, is that you? I play, but in all honesty it's shocking to me. Not so much that 2014 is over and 2015 is looming, but the fact that I'll be 25 in less than two months. And I could go on and on about that (and trust me at some point I will), but I don't want to deal with any of that right now.

Why? Because I'm about to embark on my second in a row four and a half day weekend. Yes, you heard me right. Go ahead and be jealous of my amazing/wonderful boss, who also happens to be a very good looking older gentleman (and my uncle). Keep it in your pants ladies, he's very taken and she watches Farrah Fawcett movies. If you don't what that means, just know, it doesn't turn out pretty if you try to mess with her (or her man).

With all of that being said, you should also know that I'm not going to write about my New Years Eve plans, my resolutions, or do a recap of 2014. Basically because my plans are to stay in, I don't make resolutions, and you were here for 2014, you know what went down. Instead I'm going to briefly (because like I said, four and a half day weekend) say:

Here's to another year, Ladies and Gents. We don't know what's going to come with this new year, but we're going to keep going at it. I hope it's filled with family, fun, laughter and love. I hope that you make some new friends (or that old ones find you). I hope that this year is even better than all of the ones before have been. No matter where you will be or who you will share, I hope that you are your absolute happiest self. And me? Well, as for me, I'll be here being the only way i know how.... absolutely and one hundred percent me.


Happy New Years (and Eve)!! No matter what, DO NOT drink and drive!! They have people to call and be sober for you.
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Friday, December 19, 2014

Can we just eat pizza for Christmas?!

You know, for being such a grinch this holiday season, I sure am busy. Today is our annual company Christmas party. And while we don't get to get sauced like back in the good ole days, it's usually a fairly decent time and it seems to make Uncle Roger happy. Therefore if Uncle Roger is happy and decompresses for a minute then the world is a joyful place.

Last Sunday at Aunt Susi's get together: Momma and Aunt Poot looking adorable and mischievous. And Dani and Jayna decorating cookies (with my awesome frosting).

Aunt Susi also had that girls get together at her house this past Sunday and it was fun. We went over early to help her make things and set up. She had me make buttercream frosting in her pretty fancy mixer and not that I'm searching for compliments or anything, but it was delicious. We all decorated cookies, laughed, talked, ate and there was absolutely no fighting/arguing. Which is a rare thing for our family. Obviously it's the guys that do it and not us girls. All of us just wouldn't do something like that. Yeah, that's it.

Last years annual company Christmas party. This is me with Uncle Darrell (he's my homie/dance partner) and my cousin Jeremy.

We also played that 'dirty santa' or 'white elephant' (Which is a dumb name. Just saying.) And some people just don't show any mercy around these parts. And even though Aunt Susi ended up with the pretty scarf (you're not sorry) it's ok, because telling Ashley why she didn't need the scarf was hilarious. Also, Shantel sat in a bunch of blueberries and usually that would stain, but I scrubbed her pants with Aunt Susi's hobo soap and IT ALL CAME OUT. It's magic soap. Dani says it would be hippie soap before it would be hobo soap, but I'm sticking to my guns on this one.

Also, Bubba, Chrissy, Johnathan, Elizabeth, and the three kids are coming up tonight so that we can do "our" Christmas. We thought that we were going to spend Christmas at their house this year (because they invited us to), but come to find out they don't even get the kids back until noon and they go to her parents at one. And while her parents invited us over for Christmas with all of them, we've met them about twice and didn't feel comfortable with that. Hence, Christmas tonight. I think that Momma is a little upset that she won't get to see Greg on Christmas day, but I guess I'll just have to get a little spirit (or at least pretend to) and watch White Christmas and make it good for her. It'll all be good.
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Thursday, December 18, 2014

That time I thought a hooker murdered my bestie under a bridge


I received a message last night from Erica's (Noodle) boyfriend Andy. (I call him Andy because he hates it and I think it's funny, but that's not the point). This message caused panic that quickly turned into hysterical laughter. It went something like this:

Andy: Hey Katie. Have you heard from Erica? I have not been able to get ahold of her for a few days. (She always answers Andy, because she's completely in love with him).

Katie: Not for a few days. I've sent her a couple of messages, but haven't heard anything back from her. I just figured her and Suzi were busy. Do you have any other way to get ahold of her? Hold on.

**Katie immediately sends message to Erica**

Katie: Noodle? Are you ok, darlin'?

Erica: I'm fine. Andy (she doesn't call him Andy, but were going with it) just couldn't get ahold of me. I fell asleep last night and then I have been busy writing since four today (remember how she's my awesome PUBLISHED author friend?) so I didn't hear him call. Sorry he bothered you. How are you babylove? (I call her noodle, she calls me babylove. Both of us remember each others nicknames, but can't for the love of all that is holy remember why they're our nicknames).

Katie: He didn't bother me! He just scared about ten years off of my life! I'm good now that I know my best friend isn't holed up under a bridge, murdered by a hooker!

Erica: Nah, I was just writing. You know me when I'm in the zone. He should know that by now. I warned him I get lost in my stories! And by a hooker?! REALLY?!

Katie: That you do, darlin'! I should've known that's what you were doing. And yes, by a hooker. We both know out of us all, you're the one most likely to get caught up in a hooker/murder ring. Don't hate. Hookers need love too.

Erica: Why in the hell me?

Katie: Remember when we watched the movie- Monster?

Erica: Good point.

**Erica immediately forwards my message to Andy**

Andy: Well, I had tried to call her house phone and her moms phone. Neither answered but like right after I hit send to you she said- Hey. I was like, damn. that would happen.

Katie: Yeah, I sent her a message to and she responded, but it's all good! Anytime you can't get ahold of her or you're worried, just shoot me a message and I'll try to help.

Andy: Really, Katie?! A hooker under a bridge?!

Katie: I was worried! And yes, I went there!! Because I'm not dramatic at all or immediately go to the worst scenario possible!! 

Andy: Wow. 

And then all three of us had a giant/I'm sure inappropriate conversation. Erica and I eventually came to the conclusion that it's a good thing that everyone else can't hear us when we talk, because we have a giant warped sense of humor. Then she told me to stop watching so much Criminal Minds and the I.D. channel. NEVER! Hurry up with that next book, Erica! I'm dying to read it. If I had half of your talent I would love to be a published author too. You know I love to write and ramble, but you my darling friend, have an amazing gift!! I love you and I'm so happy a hooker didn't get the goods under an abandoned bridge. Or any bridge for that matter. Because I would miss you.
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Wednesday, December 17, 2014

The Christmas season and I are just NOT gee hawin' this year


I'll admit it. I'm a Grinch. I'm a t-total Grinch this year. Just give me a green suit and a Santa hat while I put some antlers on Tayder and James Earl Jones sings a song about me. That's how (un)Christmas-y I'm feeling about all of this. I've put up the tree, decorated, and bought/wrapped gifts (I still have more to do). All of us girls even got together at Aunt Susi's for a Christmas get together (that I'll write about someday) and still, nope.

I don't know why. I can't stand Christmas music, the thought of having to deal with decorations makes me just want to take a nap, and I haven't even watched White Christmas yet. People, White Christmas is one of my favorite movies of all time. I even watch it in July and it's just not happening. I think I must just be going through a Grinch phase.

Our work Christmas party is this Friday and all I can think is blah. Then Friday evening Greg, Chrissy, Johnathan, Elizabeth and the kids are coming up to our apartment to do our little Christmas and frankly I'm already tired. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother, but once again, Christmas. I haven't even put elf ears, bows, or bells on Tayder. I have yet to wear my Christmas socks. Not even Christmas cookies are appeasing me. I don't know, maybe I'll get in the "Christmas Spirit" in the next couple of three days. At least there's four days off of work next week to look forward to (Thursday-Sunday).
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Monday, December 15, 2014

The levels of baking cookies with an eleven year old

I got the bright idea to let Solae spend the night on Saturday and then she was all- let's do something fun!! Can we bake cookies?!! You're SO awesome. And of course I had consumed about a bottle of wine when she called me and said that I was awesome, so I was all- of course you can spend the night. And we'll bake cookies, and make things, and I'll cook you pasta, because I'm awesome!! I GOT THIS.

Cut to the next morning when I figured out that my Momma had actually already promised her all of this, while volunteering me, with me sober and I immediately regretted my actions. You would think it was the walk of shame with how much I was regretting said actions, but no. No, it was just the promise of having to do all of this. Ugh.

But I'm a good sport, and if nothing else, I'm fairly decent at keeping my promises, so I said- what's done is done and went to buy more wine. Because obviously I make great decisions while drinking. And then we picked her up around eleven that day to run some errands and get home to bake. And apparently make mustache pops and cake pops.

Level one:
You get together everything that you need or could possibly ever need to get things going. Eleven year olds have about the attention span of me a ferret on crack so you can imagine how well this step went. Once everything was gathered I realized that there were alot more things on the counter to make than I had originally agreed to and while no one was looking started hiding them odd places in the kitchen.

Level two:
The baking is going good by this point. You've got a crap ton of energy and are in a good mood. You're mixing and baking at such a fast rate that when the kid asks you if she can eat all of the sugar, you agree, because let's be honest about the fact that you're kind of an alcoholic and have already started drinking the half a bottle of wine in the fridge.

Level three:
You take a small bathroom break and when you walk out you see that the kid is standing in the living room, listening to Taylor Swift, throwing around the dish towel like she's Raphael from the Ninja Turtles. You ask her what she's doing and realize that she's so jacked up on sugar that her eyes are as big as tea saucers. It's also at this point that you decide to crack open your second bottle of wine. I can literally feel your judgement on me right now.

Level four:
By now the kid has come down off of her sugar high and you're stuck finishing the cookies, because she wanted to watch Captain America. Nevermind the fact that you want to watch Captain America, oh no, you're the adult so finish the damn cookies, make pasta, and frost the snowmen cookies, bitch! Also, you may or may not ask your Momma and Aunt if the tiny snowman cookies that she made look like little penises or if you're just slightly tipsy. PS, they looked like little penises and you frosting them white probably wasn't the best idea.

Level five:
By this level you're lucky you even survived. Especially if you hate the holidays, because you're a big, fat, fatty Grinch. Aka me. Now, you've cleaned the kitchen and you're sitting on the floor with your feet on the oven door, drinking the rest of the wine out of the bottle, sending pictures to your friend of your burnt hand, because you just knew that was going to hurt in the morning. And you finally peel yourself off the tile, go take a shower, and go to bed. Only to wake up at four the next morning with a sinus infection.

But guess who's awesome and totally still the favorite?!
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Saturday, December 13, 2014

Three girls and a Christmas list

I told y'all that Momma and Aunt Poot talked me into taking off of work to have lunch and go Christmas shopping, right? Well, they did. And while I love my Momma and Aunt Poot, I'm a very Grinchy person and complained that we should just get everybody a giftcard and go eat, until they both told me to shut up and enjoy myself. Rude.

We went a little bit of everywhere and I came to the conclusion (not the first time) that I don't like people. Seriously. The more time I spend in public with people, the more I like my dog. People are rude. They yell and scream. Push and pull. And then two cops almost ran us over (not complaining, they had good reasons) to chase down a few criminals and kick and taser him. And don't be crying about police brutality, because those guys had guns and were planning something fishy. Uh huh.

In all do seriousness though, we did have a lot of fun and it was nice to get out, have some fun, and talk. The shopping part probably would've went better if my eyes wouldn't have gotten as big as me a kid in a candy store and want everything though. Honestly Katie, you were supposed to be shopping for other people! Tell that to my new boots and awesome new Hugh Hefner robe though.

Also, I tried to get in the spirit and wear something festive. It wasn't fun until I used the comic book app. Haha.
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Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Curiosity got the best of me



Remember when I was talking about that guy I grew up with? How I had been thinking about him the last couple of weeks and wondering how he was doing? I haven't seen him since the summer after we all graduated. Not the immediate one, but the next one. So, 2009. To be entirely accurate I think the last time that we seen each other was at Skippy's funeral. And as you can probably guess, hugs were exchanged, forehead kisses were given, and tears were shed, but none of us were exactly in the 'catching up' kind of mood.

That might have been the last time that we were all together. Horrible circumstances have that way about them. They bring people together only to make them have regrets. Then everyone kind of just drifts apart. No one's fault really. It's just one of those things that happen. We grow up and follow our own paths. Next thing you know, everyone is scattered into the four winds and you're left wondering- What happened?

Well, last night, curiosity got the best of me. I sent this particular old friend of mine a message {via FB, because I knew of no other way to get a hold of him}. And to my surprise he wrote me back fairly quickly. We talked for a bit, not quite as comfortable as we had once been with each other, but what is there to expect after five years? It was nice to just talk for a little while. I ended up giving him my phone number, not for any romantic reasons, but simply because, even though there are far more people out there that I'm sure he would rather talk to, I wanted him to know that he had the option.

We may never talk again, but sometimes.....sometimes it's nice to just have the option. 
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Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Why do kids put a 'W' on everything?

Winter is coming, Jon Snow.....
Y'all it's cold as shit outside. And I'm not usually one to complain....about weather. But after the events of last winter you might say that I'm a bit paranoid of the one to come. Although, now we have our own place and I don't have to share my blankets with anyone but Tayder. Still though, winter is coming. And I know this, because it's like 10 degrees outside. And I know that it's a lot colder out many other places, but I'm not there, I'm here, so I'll complain from here.

Full discretion: I totally Picasa(d) my double chin out of this picture before I uploaded it to my blog, but you would know that if you followed me on Instagram. What? You can do that these days. Duh.

They're already playing Christmas music on the radio and even though it's December and I've had my tree up for a few weeks, it still annoys me. I guess I'm just not a very "holly jolly" person. I never have been really. Although, it will be nice for momma and I to get to spend Christmas with Bubba and Johnathan. Maybe. Really it could go either way, we'll have to see. What? You know families turn the cray-cray up a notch or two during the holiday season. And John's wife hates me. I don't even know why. I haven't ever done anything to her. I mean, I don't like her either, but I'm adorable, so how can she not like me? Rude.

Maybe I'm just in rare form, because I will be joining Dante's fifth circle of hell tomorrow evening. Why do I say this, you ask? Well, since you asked, I'll tell you. tomorrow evening, after work, I'm going with Momma and Aunt Poot to Peyton's birthday party. Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking- "Katie. A child's fourth birthday party isn't that bad. Suck it up and just go." Usually I would agree with you, because I'm always the first one to admit that I can be a little overly dramatic when it comes to children. Usually. But in this case my dramatization is perfectly rationalized by the fact that it's 6:30 on a Wednesday evening (work day/night). And it's cold out. And I don't wanna. And it's at Chuck E. Cheese's. I detest Chuck E. Cheese. I didn't even like it as a child. Why in the hell do I want to go as an adult? Ehe answer is I absolutely don't. But when your sort of friend has a three year old little boy that's as cute as a little button look at you and ask- "Bwut Katie, pweas is you cwomin two me birfday partweeee?!" You kind of have to go. That or be the biggest douche on the planet. Asshole would be a name I would carry fine, but I can't be considered a douche. Then I just hear that song- Summer Breeze over and over. so, if you need me tomorrow evening, I will be hanging with Dante. I think I feel a cough coming on.

Finally, I've been having dreams about a dude I grew up with/was friends with/graduated with the last couple of days. How you doin? {in my best Joey Tribiani voice}. Seriously though, I haven't seen him since the summer after we graduated. Except on social media. By the way, looking good!! Always have been though. What?! I'm just saying. I can't help it that he's a cutie. Anyways, we were always friends, but I'm not sure why he keeps making cameos in my dreams. I mean, "Dayummm Gina!!" I should probably check on him and see if he's ok. And still sounds sexy the same.

Also, I think that I'm going to have to give in and watch Game of Thrones. A) Because it seems awesome, B) Because it has Jason Momoa and Kit Harrington, and C) Because I can watch it free on my tv. That's probably the biggest reason. Just saying.
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Wednesday, November 26, 2014

I have many things to be thankful for {A sappy (early) Thanksgiving post}

What's there not to be happy about today? I mean, I get off at 11:00 today. I have the next four days off. Aunt Poot and Solae are coming over tonight for movie night (Expendables 3...whoop whoop!!). Momma is feeling pretty good. Aunt Susi is happier. Jayna is at work today helping to put up the tree. Me and Dani match in our Griswold shirts (by accident). Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Greg is happy. John is up here now. I've decided to watch Outlander on Demand (all eight episodes) while I'm off. And I'm losing weight. The world is good. My world that is.

Two year old me would like to wish you happy holidays!! Clearly, we know who the cute one was. My brother and cousins claim they were, but I mean, come on. Look at little ole me.

Things could be better I suppose. I reckon they always could. People always seem to talk about the things that could be better. However, I'm a drink the glass that way you don't have to decide if it's a glass half empty/half full kind of gal. I try to always find the silver lining and be optimistic. Noodle likes to tell me that I'm the ultimate eternal optimistic/hopeless romantic. I'm not really sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but we got that kind of love. I'll take it.

I have so much to be thankful for. So much. I'm in fairly decent health. It teeter totters back and forth between things sometimes, but for the most part things tend to go good. At least it's nothing I can't deal with as far as now. My Momma. The fact is that she's in poor health, but you know what? She's getting help for it. And it's getting better by the day. She will never be healed, however I'm hopeful that with time we can get her to that level. You know what 'that' level is. Tayder is still kicking and lugging around. Poor guy is grumpy, but he's the Walter Matthaeu of dogs, so I'm ok with it.

I like that he's still here to give me cuddles and kisses when I need them. I spend time with a few of my favorite people in the world- i.e. Momma, Aunt Susi, Uncle Roger, Aunt Poot, Uncle Darrell, Aunt Mary, Dani, Solae, Greg when he doesn't have a giant stick up his butt. And so on and so forth. I love spending so much time with Momma. And I love spending time with those I am close to. Work is good. Our apartment is good. Family is good, except for the buttheads, but you know.

I could complain. I really could. But why? So much has happened. There was so much bad in me that I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where to turn. I got to the point that I didn't want to do my favorite things. I didn't want to talk to my friends. Anybody really. I didn't want to read or watch tv. I didn't want to leave the house. I didn't even want to get out of bed or get dressed. I didn't really want anything. I went through the motions and that was it. I didn't know what else to do. I just laid there and stared at the walls. I cried without knowing why. I sat there without paying attention to the things around me. My life was going without me really in it. It's been like this for years. Since I was around fifteen, I guess. And then I started making changes. Big changes. And it helped. Don't get me wrong, there are days that I still have these feelings. Everyday I have at least a few of these feelings and don't really understand why. I've never known why. But you know what? Here it is. And here I am. I'm surrounded by people that love me, and even though I don't want to burden them with my problems, I know that if I needed them they are there. And that's nice. And for that my friends, I am thankful.

Happy (early) Thanksgiving.
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Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Because, obviously, we were awesome



Enough said? This is me and a few of my friends in junior high. But the cool junior high. You know, eighth grade, so we were almost freshmen. In our minds other words, complete badasses. That's me sitting on the floor covering my face. As you can tell, I've always had a bit of Miranda Kerr in me. Not even close. We probably even wear the same size in clothes. Liar. Traveling down those old white and red hallways sure does bring back some memories. 

Like the ones of all of the homecoming days, where we got to have field days and run around crazy. The ones of my friends and I passing notes and homemade fortune tellers back and forth to each other in our classes. The one where a boy told me he loved me, kissed me, then ran away. Or the one where I watched my friend Rachel (the one right next to me) slam some girls head into my locker repeatedly. Yeah, there's that.


By the look of my Beetlejuice shirt, you can clearly tell that we were much cooler by the time we reached high school. No we weren't. We could even talk our guy friends into wearing our clothes. Well, at least our jackets. This happened on more than one occasion. Also, most of us had nicknames by this point. Not me, because they all still call me Katherine, but this guy is known as Poncho. His girlfriend? Lucy. No, that's not her real name, that's just her nickname. Yeah, I don't get it either, but they're married and have a baby now, so maybe it was she was Lucky Lucy? I don't know.


We were so cool. We even threw up our hands in class, like- What up?!! That's not true, that never happened. The 'What Up' part, not the throwing hands up part. That part definitely happened. Also, boys carried our purses, because they were already wearing our jackets, so why not? He's going to kill me if he ever sees this. Hashtag worth it.


Sometimes we posed with guys and even though it was their idea in the first place, they look terribly uncomfortable in the actual photo. But maybe that's because the girl in the photo that wasn't you totally made out with said guy the summer before and then he started blushing every time that he was around her. Also, you had to poke and tease the same guy until he finally opened up and talked to you, so you became friends, because he was so shy. And then your best friend reads the blog post that you write that tells about her making out with the guy and she immediately screams and regrets sending you the old photos in the first place. Oops.

Then when you grow up the same boy joins the Army and when he comes home he's even more beautiful than what you remember him being. And then you get drunk with him and the two of you pass out in his truck. Like adults.


Finally, you look at the old pictures of y'all and you realize that you needed to pull down your shirt back in the day. That is until you realize that that's not even your shirt that you're wearing in the photo. It was actually the shirt of a girl that y'all hung out with that weighed about 90 pounds and you remember when you were skinny. And then you snap back into reality when your best friend reminds you of how photogenic you were when y'all were young. Because she's a hater.

Ah, friendship.
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Friday, November 7, 2014

Is it acceptable to wear sweatpants to a wedding in November?

Today is Friday, and if you've been around me for any amount of time at all this week you would know that this fact makes me incredibly happy. Happier than usual. Except for the fact that Momma and I have to make 20 pounds of potato salad tonight. You heard me right, 20 pounds of potato salad. Don't ask. Anyways, I thought that I would just stop in for a second to say that:

A) We are having this huge rat infestation problem living in our ceiling at work. And while I'm not particularly scared of mice or rats, not knowing how many are up there that could fall on top of my head at any given moment kind of freaks me out. Just slightly. Thankfully the exterminator (Dani) has a giant bag of poison and traps treats for the little guys that she makes Chad distribute to them and collect. We're determined to win this battle.


And- B) My cousin Ashley is getting married tomorrow. So, instead of lounging about in my sweatpants watching Gilmore Girls (which I would really love to do), I have to look like I actually give a damn and go into public, fully dressed, and do things. I would prefer to just hibernate, but you know, family obligation and such. So, wish me luck! At least there's cake. And alcohol.

Cheers, bitches!!
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Thursday, October 30, 2014

I'm pretty sure that I am the absolute WORST at being a girl

I have this thing where I go over everything in my head and I over analyze anything that I come into contact with. My conclusion to the fact that I am the absolute WORST at being a girl is no different. I feel like this is a true fact. I came to this realization somewhere between putting on my sweatpants/ butler bulldogs tee shirt and then going to my aunt/uncle's house to eat pizza and drink beer.

I know, I know, carbs and alcohol, SAY WHAT?! But I'm a rebel like that. My pants hate me for it.

Between reading through my favorite blogs, checking out random sites, and talking to people that I grew up with, it's enough to make you feel like you took a detour at the wrong crossroad. Most of them are in meaningful relationships, either married or on the verge. Most with children and some have even been with their significant others for years upon years. WE'RE TALKING SANDBOX LOVE, PEOPLE! And yet I'm just over here all- look at how cute my dog is!!

Now, being the type of person that I am, none of this usually bothers me, but every once in a great while I'll feel a ting of the green-eyed monster creeping up my back. Don't get me wrong, I have no desire to be married, and at the possibility of sounding like a horrible person, I don't want children. At least not ones to call my own. Neither of those two things have ever been a priority of mine. I love my independence and at the risk of sounding selfish, don't feel like I should have to have children to live up to some other persons standard of my happiness. But that's just one girls opinion on the matter. 

I hate drama. And I truly mean that from the bottom depth of my soul. I'm always here to listen to a friend/family member vent about their problems, but I don't voluntarily go in search of it. I rather like my peaceful, little existence and don't see the point in complicating things. Oh, having trouble with your cheating/unappreciative/psychotic/paranoid significant other? Well, let's not do the rash thing and break up with them so you can find happiness in the future. No, let's stick it out for another three or four years so that when the unavoidable implosion that is our lives comes to a head it's all that more ugly, emotional, and terrible. Makes alot of sense, huh? No.

I don't curl my hair and wear make-up every single day. I hardly even get out of sweatpants, loose tee shirts, or cotton shorts on weekends. Monday through Fridays {except on the days that the sun has smiled upon me and we don't have work on one of those days} I usually make myself acceptable looking. But then I have days like today where I felt that my morning time was better spent standing under hot water in the shower. And then I look like I do right now. No make-up sans for the leftover eyeliner from yesterday, and a messy version of hair that's so bad it can't even be considered a "messy bun". No, it's just it's very own mess. I didn't even fully brush it, because it just wasn't happening.

Also, I do not own a copy of the movie The Notebook. I know, if none of the other things got me, that one definitely will.
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Wednesday, October 22, 2014

I'm living in the surreal house

When I decided to uproot my entire life and move to Indiana I had some things going on that felt like they needed dealt with. My way of dealing with them? Saying- the hell with this!! And moving on. So, I did just that. And it worked. But it still feels a bit surreal to me. It's been two years this month, and for some strange reason it doesn't feel like I'm actually living here to me.

Don't get me wrong, it's great to be surrounded by family and for things to be more offset than they have been in a very long time, but still, there's something. Something that I just can't quite put my finger on. You would think after two years that it would be pretty well sunken in, but it's just not. It still feels off or something.

Maybe it's because I keep waking up expecting to walk outside and see a back road instead of a busy one. Maybe it's because I keep expecting to run into an old friend of mine at the gas station, that is inevitably never there. Maybe it's because I still expect to get out of bed, put on a pair of scrubs and head off to help someone ready for their third dialysis appointment of the week. I don't know. I just don't know.

I'm happy here. I'm content. I love my peaceful, little, undramatic existence. And I love the fact that I get to spend so much time with my mother, brother, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I love that Momma and I have a little apartment that we can call our own, and that Tayder is still lugging around and giving me snuggles when I need them.

But it's weird. It's weird going to a job completely out of my element. It's weird writing letters or sending text messages instead of seeing my friends. It's weird not having Grammy to talk to about stories that only a grandmother knows and to give me a hug. It's strange to me that all of this still hasn't sunk in for me.

I think it has something to do with the fact that I don't have my memories here. I mean, I have a few from when I was a little girl, but for the most part I was raised far away. I had my own friends, my own way I handled things, and I grew up in a way that others wouldn't necessarily find proper. And I love that. I love that I got to grow up somewhere that allowed me to form and find my own sense of self. I love the person that I am.

I'm not the best, but I'm not the worst by any means. When I love, I love with my whole heart. And when something makes me sad, I cry real tears. When I'm happy, I laugh, and sometimes I just can't quit. When I'm mad, I say why I'm mad out loud, and I don't sugar coat any of it. I have no filter and if i think it or feel it, you can pretty well guarantee that the world will soon know about it too.

And it's just me. It's just who I am. and right now, it just so happens that everything feels a little off key for me. But, it's ok, because it will all be figured out soon enough. Sometimes it just takes my mind a few extra minutes to catch up as opposed to the rest of me. Afterall, it's still trying to get used to these Indiana winters.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Lefou, I'm afraid I've been thinking

Confession? I'm 24 years old, and I still watch, and I'm totally in love with Disney movies. I could watch them everyday. I've noticed that the Disney movies form when I was little were a lot darker than they are now {I'm looking at you Hunchback of Notre Dame}, and they're still my go to. Who doesn't love a story about a princess finding her one true love and living happily ever after, right? With that being said, I think you should know that Beauty and the Beast is my favorite Disney movie and Belle is my favorite princess. And here are just a few reasons why.

"Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind. But then, one winter's night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, the prince sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away. But she warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within. And when he dismissed her again, the old woman's ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful enchantress. The prince tried to apologize, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart. And as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast and placed a powerful spell on the castle and all who lived there. Ashamed of his monstrous form, the beast concealed himself inside his castle, with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his 21st year. If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair and lost all hope. For who could ever learn to love a beast?" 


I identify with the Belle the most.
  • She was always such a book worm. 
  • She wanted adventure. And lived in kind of a fantasy world.
  • She wanted that all consuming feeling.
  • She was stubborn and strong willed.
  • She always rooted for the "underdog".
  • She tried to see the best in people. But sometimes you just can't, because even if you want to see the best in them, doesn't necessarily mean that there is good in them. Some people are just bad people.
  • She loved her parent. I mean, hers was her dad, and mine is my mom, but you get the idea.
  • The girl loved a good ole hug. 
  • Pink roses are my absolute favorite. {Shh...don't tell}.
  • She tried to get along with everyone. Plus, you know, brown hair.
Beauty and the Beast has some of the best lines ever.
  • Beast: I want to do something for her... but what? Cogsworth: : Well, there's the usual things: flowers... chocolates... promises you don't intend to keep.
  • Gaston: Lefou, I'm afraid I've been thinking. Lefou: A dangerous pastime. Gaston: I know.
  • Lumiere: Voila! Oh, you look so... so... Beast: Stupid. Lumiere: Not quite the word I was looking for, but perhaps a - little more off the top.


  • Cogsworth: Couldn't keep quiet, could we? Just had to invite him to stay, didn't we? Cogsworth: 'Serve him tea. Sit in the master's chair. Pet the pooch!' Lumiere: I was trying to be hospitable.
THIS DRESS.


NO, SERIOUSLY. THIS DRESS.


And they all lived happily ever after. The end.
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Friday, October 17, 2014

This is my own private domicile

I know that I've been talking about this whole moving thing for a few weeks now, but it's a process and sometimes it takes a village. And by a village I mean after the Saturday of my brother, two cousins, and aunt helping us move, we've been kind of on our own. Which is kind of great. I think there are times when we forget that we now have our own place, like we're still walking on eggshells, but at night when it's real quiet and we're unpacking things, or setting up, or just watching TV, we get it. It's completely clear. We're on our own. Just me, Momma, and Tayder.

I'm trying to convince Danielle to cross-stitch this for me, so I can hang it in our apartment. Immediately.
Do you know how long that it's been since I've said that? Let's just say, awhile. A long while. It was just the three of us for awhile when I was 15/16, but then Noodle came along, and then Grammy came to live with us, and we've had friends/family live with us on and off for awhile. Then it was just us for 1.5 days in Tennessee before the family came down to move us up to Indy. Then it was almost two years of living with my two uncles and little cousin {which you already know}. But now it's just us three again. And I think that we're adjusting well.

There are still a few things that we need to get:
  • Curtains
  • Ice cube trays (I know, right?)
  • Toaster
  • Blu-ray player
  • Picture frames
  • Big skillet
And so on and so forth, but you know, all in due time. It's all a process, and it's a process that we're ok with. I've met a few of our neighbors, and so far they're all very nice. The two guys that live across from us even helped us (me, Momma, and Aunt Poot) carry in our couch when they seen us struggling. Thanks, guys!! I owe you one. One woman has a 135 pound American bulldog and she's very pleasant to talk to. And yes, that surprises me, because that is a rare quality in people these days. The people upstairs are nice, but I'm pretty sure that they never sleep. They're not disruptive or anything, but you know how you just notice little things sometimes? Anyways, they all seem fairly nice and we all just mind our own business. And that's the way we all like it.

One of the biggest perks about it is we can do whatever we want, when we want, without it bothering and/or inconveniencing anyone else. So today, I get off of work about two hours early and we gotta go do laundry, do a little shopping, and then we'll probably go home, and I'll commence to drinking an entire bottle of wine and watch Captain America: The Winter Soldier. You say boring, I say relaxing. And since it's the weekend, I say- Cheers, bitches! {In my very best Jesse Pinkman voice}.  
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Tuesday, October 14, 2014

#Movingishard

Don't you just love that you can literally hashtag anything these days? No? Just me? Whatevs, I love it. So, as most of you know, Momma and I recently moved into our own apartment after living with my two uncles and little cousin for going on two years. And while that was fun {to begin with, but then one uncle became increasingly grumpy, and the kid turned into a teenager aka- jerk}, it's very nice to have our own place again. But I have made a discovery.

We've moved a million {figuratively} times in my life, and we always kind of liked to say that we considered ourselves nomads. It always made us sound cool, you know, to us. But now we have discovered that we detest moving, because it's hard, and if I'm being perfectly honest, neither one of us is getting any younger. Thank goodness that we had family that helped out with the whole process, but there are certain things that you kind of just have to do. We like to refer to it as- Lone Rangering it. Basically because, I love the new Lone Ranger movie. Yeah, I said it, WHAT ABOUT IT?!! That was a great movie and you know it. Sorry, back to the actual point.

I put in to have off yesterday like a month ago {before we knew we were moving- it all happened so fast}, but it just all kind of worked out, so I've just come off of a three day weekend. Don't worry, it wasn't as glamorous as it sounds. It was a whole lot of unpacking, putting up, arranging, then re-arranging, putting together furniture, and on and on and on. It's been really hard, but it's also been amazing to have our own space again. Tayder is loving it to.

Also, we finally have cable, and not only did I get to catch up on my Sons of Anarchy and Chicago PD watching {Thank you, Demand}, but we got to watch Dog the Bounty Hunter and like five episodes of Wahlburgers, which makes me happy, because Donnie Wahlberg is AMAZING. And I finally learned who sings the song- Classic, and I can't quit singing it, because it's awesome. Just listen to it you're welcome.
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Tuesday, October 7, 2014

My anxiety levels are jumping through the roof

Remember last week when I said that I was moving? Remember how I said that I was really excited and that this was going to be such a great experience? Remember before that how I said that it was just time for Momma and I to move on? Well, all of that still applies. Having our stuff back is great. Having our own space is great. And frankly, just having our own place is great.

BUT that doesn't make the moving process any easier. Let's be honest, moving sucks balls. And not tennis ones either. we all know what I mean. We've moved a million times in my lifetime, and every time we do it sucks just a little bit more. Now, I'm fairly certain that they're just going to have to get used to me, because I have the plan of just dying there. The thought of moving again just makes me want to bust out in tears. Right now I'm so tired that I'm reminded of the time that I got so drunk sick that they put me in the shower {fully clothed} and then I had to wear Corey's clothes. Not because I didn't have dry clothes, but because I insisted on having his. He obliged.


But I digress. I've been sleeping in Momma's room, because my room is full of boxes/totes and a bunch of random stuff, because unpacking is a bitch. Remember, we haven't had anything besides some of our clothes out of storage in two years. And I'm pretty sure that most of this stuff isn't even ours. Seriously, you laugh, but I don't remember owning half of this stuff. And we don't get cable until Thursday, So I'll be missing this weeks episode of SOA. But it's ok, I'll live. I also have a gigantic list of things that we have to get. WWWWWWHHHHHHHHHAAAAAA(!!!!!!!!!!)

I don't mean to complain, because having our own place is full of FANTASTICAL things. Like the fact that I can wash my walls at 11:00 at night, and I can make cupcakes anytime that I want. Which I'll probably do this evening. I can set out as many pictures as I want, of whoever I want. Plus, our shower? Yes, please. Our apartment is small, but it's all ours. But we still have a never ending plethora of things to unpack. Seriously, it's bad. And I want to cry. And my anxiety levels are impossible to deal with. And I don't have a hairdryer. But that's whatever. I took off this coming up Monday {like a month before i knew that we were moving- just a lucky coincidence}, so I'll have Saturday-Monday to deal with it all. But to make me feel better until then, I'll just continue to watch this video of Alfonso Rivera do "The Carlton".


By the way, I'll do a whole post about our new place complete with pictures when I can possibly get around to it. Like I said, it's a process. But I just wanted to check in to tell y'all that even though I've been absent from class, that I still exist, and that I haven't been kidnapped by the Orcs or anything. Oh, and Noodle is supposed to be sending me some of our old pictures. Yay.

I'm really not complaining, I love having our own place(!!!!!!!)
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Thursday, October 2, 2014

It must be something in the air

Ok, so I have something to tell y'all. Remember a couple weeks ago when I was talking about Walt Disney, but I wasn't really talking about Walt Disney? I was basically talking about "the next step", but I was being incredibly vague, because it's just more fun, and also I didn't want to jinx anything. Well, it seems like everybody else has been doing these posts lately, I guess I'll just join in:

We're moving.

I know, I know. Y'all are incredibly excited for me. Thank you. Now, I'm not moving out of state, or to be closer to my guy {I don't have one}, but I am moving. Momma and I have been apartment hunting for awhile now, and we found one that we kind of fell for. It's set back a little bit so it feels like you have more of nature around you. It's under new management/owners and has been getting improvements made for about a year now. The one we were looking at is a little 2 br/1 ba, with a living room, dining room, kitchen, and decent size closets. Some say small, we say cozy and less to clean. The compound {Does that sound too cult-y?}, ok complex, also has laundry areas, a gym, indoor/outdoor pools, jacuzzi, and daycare. It seems pretty awesome.

Well, yesterday I got the call. We got the apartment. That's right, it's all ours. And we get to move in Saturday. THIS Saturday. The nice lady is calling me back today to fill me in on all of the details, but it's definitely ours!! It's been a long two years. It's hard not being able to have your own space and all of your stuff {excluding clothes} in a storage unit. But now that's not gonna be a problem. Because I am now {What do they call you when you sign a lease instead of buy a home? leaser?} a tenant. Thank you, thank you. Now we just have to pack the things we do have at Uncle Kenny and Jim's house, get all of the details for the apartment, get everything turned on, buy the things we need, get groceries, ask for help, and you know, actually do the MOVING part. Wish me luck.
Get my dream bedspread here.
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