Monday, December 28, 2015

Another three-day weekend is coming.

(And it just can't get here fast enough).

You ever have those moments to where you've slept, but you're still really tired? I'm currently there. I slept a little this past weekend, but trying to tell my body that is a whole other story within itself. The way I'm pulling it around today you would think that I hadn't slept in a week. Which was kind of true last week, but like I said, I slept this past weekend. Not overslept, but a little. Still not enough? Whatevs.

I'm currently trying to get ahold of our Landlord (well, we rent from a property group- so them), because as we speak there is a nice puddle forming in my kitchen from the leaky roof and baseboards..... which could have been handles in the dry/ hot months had they listened to me, but NOOO they had to wait until the cold/ wet months..... Ok, I'm gonna let it go. The anger, not the phone call, because it still needs fixed.

Today is the first day that it's really felt like Winter to me. I know that sounds dumb saying on December 25th, but it's the truth. Most of this month has been full of 60-70 degree days and has only been dipping low few and far between. There hasn't been a need for more than a sweatshirt, if even that.

But today? Oh, today.....

The heat was out when I got to work this morning (luckily, it was fixed with a quick change of filter), the temperature is somewhere in the 20-30 range and the wind is ridiculous. Plus, it's been raining for about three days straight, so everything is already icky.And don't get me wrong, we've totally lucked out so far, but it just all caught me kind of off guard. And it shouldn't have I know, but it did. And now I'll quit complaining about it.

This is another short week for me (New Years Day is Friday). Hopefully nothing like last week (with Momma being in the hospital and all), but no Friday for me this week. Danielle is (supposed to be) taking Thursday off, so I'm sure it will feel weird again. But she needs a day or two off and a four day weekend just might do her some good. I know a three-day weekend sounds pretty nice. Until then- it's Monday.

Sunday, December 27, 2015

Christmas with the Crazies.

(My family is a little bit..... well insane.)

We tend to not follow the rules and get loopy at the drop of a hat. There's about five million of us. My Grammy and Grandpa had somewhere between 11-13 kids  (I don't really know for sure) and needless to say with that many kids, we have alot of cousins. While we have that many cousins, there are only a few of us that stay in touch and are close.

-Side note: I'm watching the movie- Winters Tale and it's so amazing. Seriously, if every guy could be and act and love like Peter Lake we would all be good. This movie is just heartbreaking and loving at the same time. I need to get this book.

Anyways, back to the whole Christmas/ Family thing. As you can see from the pictures above, we have our own special set of issues. And sadly, that's not even all of us in the pictures. There are plenty more that we just don't have around too much. Of course, I see Dani and Bonehead on a regular basis, because I work with them, but they spend the holidays with their closer extended family. I'm telling you guys, there are SO MANY of us.

But we love each other, even if it's in our own weird/ special way. We bicker and fight and argue, but we have each others back. Well, the majority of us have the others backs and the rest are just assholes. Don't get me wrong, we're all assholes, but we admit it and don't make any excuses for it. It's just us. And we're mostly proud of it. If people don't like us, then we usually tell them to go on somewhere.

So, here was what my Christmas looked like this year. It was filled with laughter, food, fun, love and selfies. You can blame the selfies on me, I got a "selfie stick" for Christmas and Ashley and I are pretty sure that it's one of the coolest things ever invented. We had way too much fun with it.

Sending lots of love from me and mine.

Friday, December 25, 2015

I just did the dishes against my will.

(I need to do a couple loads of laundry..... But who's counting?!).

Today is Christmas and while most people are caught up in all of the holiday miracles around them taking place, I'm sitting in our chair with Tayder on my lap contemplating doing the laundry (I really really need to).

But I'm tired and the thought of having to actually get my big butt up is too much for me to handle. But it all needs done, because for our Christmas dinner (we went to Poot and Uncle Darrell's) we made Grammy's Potato Salad (it's the best thing EVER- and I don't even like potato salad), Pea Salad, Mac&Cheese and Deviled Eggs. Yeah, I'm sure you can imagine what our kitchen smells like now.

So, I did the dishes (there were a shit ton) and I'll clean the rest of the house tomorrow or Sunday (most likely tomorrow).

We went down to Poot's to open presents and then we all had to go home to finish up the food and put some different clothes on. I really wanted to be able to get Momma, Poot and Solae more (not Greg, because he never likes what I get him anyways), but unfortunately this little thing called "poor" is a real life experience that I'm practicing at this time. Want to know what all I got for Christmas (just today)?!

Ok, I'll tell you:

(2) Fleece Mossy Oak Shirts, The Rolling Stones T-shirt, Flannel Shirt (Grey), Sons of Anarchy Shirt, Star Wars Shirt, SELFIE STICK, Make-up Brushes, Fuzzy Socks, Popcorn Tin, Tank Top, Soft/ Fluffy Camo Lounge Jacket, Katniss Cowl

Frankly, I would say that I made out like a bandit, because of all of the stuff that I got today- and that's not even counting the things that I received on random days. And speaking of Christmas..... I took down our Christmas tree tonight (it's Momma and I's tradition) and I took down all of the decorations inside. All that's left is outside and it's not very much, just (1) Penguin Blow-up, (1) String of Lights and a couple of Candy Cane Solar Lights that don't work for shit. Go figure. And then Momma and I will probably sit here and do what we're doing now. Tv, talking, Tayder Love, maybe a blog post, maybe not.

Y'all sleep good and have sweet dreams! Merry Christmas!!

Thursday, December 24, 2015

And on this (pre) Christmas Day.

(Feel free to ignore the bags under my eyes- they're always there).

Momma is finally out of the hospital- she actually got out yesterday afternoon. And we couldn't be happier about it if we tried. I mean, I guess I can't speak for the both of us, but I'm pretty much 100% sure that she is extremely happy about it too. She's still got a long road ahead of her, but like all of the other ones that we've had to go down (and there have been some real doozies), we'll do it together. (And Tayder was depressed and won't leave our sides now- I think he missed us and is happy we're finally home).

Ok, let's get away from that for now (because it makes me so damn sad).

I went to work this morning (it was the first time I've been there all week) and caught up on all of the paperwork that has been put off (I reckon it was a real long week for Dani- Sorry, Dani!!). I'm not going to lie, there was quite a bit. There wasn't really enough to stress me out, but there was enough to keep me going steady. Which is the way I like it, that way time seems to pass faster and I don't end up wanting to throw myself down the stairs.

Jayna came into work with Dani and played and laughed the whole time that they were there (they left at 10:30- I left at 11:15). We exchanged gifts (I received those amazing gifts that you see in that picture- Wine & Meaty: Essays by Samantha Irby and I gifted Dani with a Snuggie, because believe it or not, that's all she's wanted for a year and I got a gift card and pretty awesome scarf from Uncle Roger; I love them all!! Also, I remembered everybody's Christmas present and Uncle Rogers birthday present so- Katie. For. The. Win.), talked about a couple of things and just basically did the few things that we had to get done. And Jayna loved her gift from me- yay!!

Side note #1: Dani snuck a little present (it was a joke book) under our tree at work and we convinced Jayna that Santa had dropped it off just for her. She not only believed it, but then explained to us all how it could be true. Apparently Santa is a the smartest man alive (sorry, Hawking) and Dani's seven year old is really a forty-five year old in disguise. Ha- that makes me chuckle.

Oh!! Oh!! Guess what I got?!! Go ahead- GUESS!! Ok, I'll tell you- a 49 in Tv!!! I know, right?!! Momma started bidding on it on that "Quibids" thing (she wanted to get me one for Christmas and of course we can't afford one, but she thought what the hell, I'll try it anyways- and it worked!!) and she won!! She actually won!! And I'm pretty excited about it (which I'm sure you can tell). It's used and doesn't have a matching remote (but the one that came with it is kind of a universal remote and it does everything that it's supposed to do so we're good with it!!

This evening we all (Momma, Poot, Uncle Darrell and I) went to Don and Barbs Christmas Eve/ Pizza Party (Greg didn't go, because he had to work)!! They invited us a long time ago (we each invite the others to whatever it is when we're having something) and Momma actually felt well enough to go. We all had a lot of fun laughing, talking, listening to music, eating homemade cooking and singing Christmas carols (we may or may not have drank a shit ton of Hot Damn w/ Cider and drunkenly sung them all..... Oops?!). And Don and Barb?! You did not have to get us a present- thank y'all, but it was unnecessary. You guys are awesome and it was nice to meet even more of your family!!

Side note #2: Remind me to tell you about the damn conversation that I had to have with Ashley, because she informed me that she has "found the perfect guy for me" and I was forced to tell her hell no, because I don't want to date. Nothing personal, I just don't feel like it. And yes, I am good with that. And no, I don't think that I'm missing out on anything. Thank you though.

And by the time we got home we were pretty tired (and tipsy). I took my shower, Momma dozed off on the couch and now I'm sitting in the chair writing and Momma is watching our awesome Tv. We had to open a Christmas present tonight, because it's our "family tradition" to open one on Christmas Eve (and it's only a tradition, because Momma and I got tired of listening to Greg for years on end). We're waiting until tomorrow night to open the rest of them though (completely against Greg's will and protests), so that "Carla" can open hers with the rest of us. Yes, he's throwing a fit, because we're waiting on his girlfriend to open presents- I know, right?!!

Momma and I have to make Grammy's potato salad and deviled eggs in the morning and we're of course going to Poot and Uncle Darrell's for Christmas dinner and all of that good stuff. But I'm not trying to rush anything, because the more I do, the closer Monday gets. And screw that.

Merry Christmas Eve!!

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

I wonder what it's like to be a phlebotomist.

(We're still at the hospital).

And by "we" I mean Momma and I are here, but I'm not a patient, only she is. I'm just staying with her. 

The phlebotomist came in at about 5:00am (don't worry, we've been awake for a LONG time) to redraw her labs so the docs know what's going on. She's been on fluids since we took her to the ER (Monday- 11:00am), so basically she's been on round the clock IV fluid drip for about three days. That's a lot of damn fluid.

Her appetite has returned (thank god- she's lost like eighteen pounds in a month, because she couldn't eat and everything that she did manage to eat came back up) and while she's talking on the phone (apparently we're not the only ones up at 3:30am) I'm waiting for 7:00am so I can order her breakfast and go get mine from the cafeteria. 

I'm pretty sure that she's going home today (excitement- party of two) and if that's true, I'll be going back to work tomorrow (and maybe Uncle Roger won't fire and/or murder me- Dani might help him if he decides to). I feel bad about being off, but I have to be here for her. 

Her blood sugar went up a bit last night. It wasn't horrible or anything, but it was higher than its been running. In all fairness though, it was night and the nurses were switching shifts so she hadn't had her blood sugar meds, nor her insulin. Once she had those it smoothed back out (Yay!!).

So now, we sit here and wait to see the kidney specialist so we know what's going on and what the next step is (although if you ask Momma the "next step" is the one that she'll be taking to go home- she's got jokes this morning). Is it tacky to ask for luck so it (the mass on her kidney) really is nothing? 

Well, I don't care if it is tacky- I'm asking for a little. 

For now though, we'll watch the news (people really do suck), avoid the televangelists on tv (those two things are about the only things on this early in the morning) and wait to have breakfast (we want ALL the food, even though we- mostly her, because of her diabetes and such, but I won't eat in front of her like that).

Tacky or not- Wish us luck.

UPDATE: The kidney specialist just came in to talk to us (they weren't playing when they said he comes in early to talk to patients) and gave us good news. Have I ever mentioned how much I love good news?! Because I do. He was very polite and informative. 

He told us that he wouldn't even call it a "mass"- he calls it a growth. It's actually been there since June 2012 and it's actually gotten smaller since then. 

Therefore, he said it doesn't seem to be a serious problem or anything like that. 

However, he wants Momma to come back in March 2016 to do a test to check it out. They don't want to do it now, because of the shape that her kidneys are in (from dehydration). So, she has to come back in March 2016 to have a test done, just to make sure that everything's copacetic. And would you like to know what else he said?! 

He said- "It's not serious. Go home and have a happy holiday and my office will call you to set up your appointment. Don't worry or stress about any of this and have a Merry Christmas." He even drew us a picture to explain it all.

But he did say one thing that really bothered me (and Momma). He said that when she came into the ER and in the state that she was in, that she had experienced renal failure. RENAL FAILURE. Luckily, she had some really good doctors and nurses that brought her back from it all. She still feels pretty weak, but she's eating (she's lost 16 pounds during all of this) and kidding around. She's just Momma again and I couldn't be happier about it.

It's nice to be home (and she completely agrees).

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Hospitals: A story of love and hate.

(I love them for what they do and I hate them, because too much of my family has been in one all year long).

Momma has been in the hospital since yesterday morning. She's been sick on and off for about a month, and while she went to the doctor a few times within that time span, they couldn't seem to figure out what was going on.

Well, yesterday her doctor (whom I love and think is the greatest of all time) figured out what was wrong. After she diagnosed it, she made a call and told us to get to the emergency room asap. What was it? Good question. 


You see, she had an infection in her throat (not quite strep throat yet, but blisters were present) and a UTI. With her being diabetic, that's more of a problem than usual, because infection will cause a persons blood sugar to go sky high (and it's about 1000x worse when diabetes is involved). 

Therefore, her blood sugar reached 557 and the side effects were blurred vision, offset balance and nausea. Because she was throwing up so much, she became dehydrated (BOO!!!!!).

They gave her a shot of phenegran and Aunt Poot and I took her to the ER very quickly (I.e. Poot almost got a ticket).

Once we were in the ER they did some tests, took some vitals, drew some blood and started an IV full of fluids for her. After awhile a doctor came in and informed us that he was admitting her, because the labs came back all wonky (due to the dehydration).

Then this morning the doctor came in and talked to us about her results. 

What he said: "Unfortunately I'm not going to be discharging you today (Momma was very upset about that). Your labs have improved, but it wasn't a massive improvement like I would like. Your creatine levels are still high (they were 3.7 when we came in and he read them at a 3.2 this morning and they're supposed to be around a 1.1) and I want to keep giving you fluids and hopefully they come down."

Then they told us that they found a mass on her kidney (they had done a catscan and ultrasound earlier for "precautionary" reasons) and that they were going to have to figure out what exactly it is. 

Of course I freaked out (because I always go to the worse case scenario first).

A lady came in and explained to us that they would like their kidney expert to take a look at her scans to determine what was going on. We agreed that we wanted the best person to take a look. He's supposed to be here at 6:30am so we'll see how that goes. 

Momma has informed me that she's going home tomorrow come hell or high water, because she's spending the damn holidays at home.

I've been staying at the hospital with her (she sometimes loses her train of thought and the docs/nurses need information and I know everything to tell them) and I couldn't thank Dani, Aunt Susi and Uncle Roger enough. I hate missing work, but I feel like this is really important and I need to be here. And they're amazing for understanding the situation and everything that's happening (although I'm pretty sure Uncle Roger is so pissed at me that he would love to fire me- and he still might). 

So here I sit watching Momma sleep (phenegran tends to have that effect), writing this blog post, watching the cooking channel (I watched Guy Fieris DDD until 4:00 this morning) and hoping for the absolute best. Don't tell, but I'm a little freaked out and I'm hoping that specialist comes in tomorrow morning and says- you're fine, false alarm!! 

Here's to hoping.

Friday, December 18, 2015

Can I just sleep through our Company Christmas Party today?!

(I am less than enthused- because I'm kind of a jerk..... it comes naturally).

It's not like they're bad or anything, its just usually alot of work and it tends to go unappreciated (just like our Company Picnic in the Summer/Fall) by most of the employees. You still have those really appreciative employees/retirees, but for the most part- people suck.

Or that could just be me being a grinch. Whatevs, I'm good with it.

I'm just tired this week. Which is hilarious considering the fact that I passed out in our chair last night before I even watched The Big Bang Theory episode that I really wanted to see (The Opening Night Excitation). Good thing I recorded it- did I ever mention that whomever invented the dvr was a genius?! Because I whole-heartedly believe that.

Anyways, this week has been full of craziness (Momma has been incredibly sick- she has infection in her throat and a uti; which is causing her blood sugar to go sky high; like 557; and all of that combined is making all of her sick; it's pitiful) and we still have Christmas shopping to do and I haven't wrapped any of the presents yet (I was informed of all of this last night, because in true Katie fashion I forgot about it all). But for now, I have to finish doing all of this crap stuff for today.

What is it the kids are saying these days?! TGIF.

Sunday, December 13, 2015

I swear you just can't take us anywhere.

(But we're pretty damn hilarious).

I don't always wear a camo Santa hat with fake reindeer antlers inside of a fake frame. But when I do, I make sure it's when I'm surrounded by people I love. And you know, when Aunt Susi talks me into it!!

Today was our annual "sister get together" (they don't want to call it a "sister" thing anymore, because it's all the girls in the family, but we all still have the habit). And can I just say that it was SO fun and hilarious?!! I don't think the laughter stopped for more than ten seconds the entire day!!

Side note: Momma, Poot and I had breakfast early this morning before our get together..... because apparently when I'm hungry, "I'm grumpy!!" (Their words, not mine). And honestly I don't think I even chewed my waffle, I think I inhaled it and it was SO delicious. Waffles!!

Even Aunt Linda got to fly up from Florida and spend it with us!! There were a few people that didn't show and we're officially convinced that they're assholes (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND IT'S YOUR LOSS, BECAUSE WE'RE HILARIOUS!!), but we didn't let any of that slow us down or stop us from having a great time!! It was their loss, because we're a damned ole hoot and a half!!

We did the whole "Dirty Santa" thing again, and Aunt Susi decided to do it a little different than usual this time around. None of us really understood it (she later said that we messed up), but it was still fun and we all cracked up!! There was delicious food (every candy/cookie that you can think of, ham/turkey pinwheels, veggie bars, cherry delight, taco/cheese dip..... and alcohol).

We even did a craft this time around!! We made little owls out of pinecones and wine corks. My owls turned out looking a bit like Arnie from What's Eating Gilbert Grape, but I'm just saying that makes it have more character!!

All in all, it was a fantastic time!! Aunt Susi put out a frame covered in Christmas lights and had a million props for us all to use and get our pictures taken!! (She said she'll make me copies, because her camera makes my camera its bitch). The goofier the better!! I don't have a copy of it yet, but I bet the one with Dani and I (and our beer) incites hilarity when you look at it!!

We all can't wait until the next one (sometime around Easterish- Aunt Susi is already brewing with ideas!!). And even though Momma was sick (she's felt horrible for days and has to call the doctor tomorrow), she laughed and loved it!! I love seeing her smile and happy!!

See y'all once Winter breaks!!

Friday, December 11, 2015

I am WAY too invested in fictional characters.

(And I'm ok with it).

I've always been extremely emotionally invested in fictional characters (more so than actual people). But I don't want to talk about any of them (until later) except for- Sheldon Cooper and Amy Farrah Fowler.


And when I posted said picture above to capture my excitement, I had a girl on my FB to be all- "I didn't want to see this, because I haven't got to watch this episode yet." And I apologized, but really I thought- "If you don't want a 'spoiler' on any show that you're watching, maybe avoid social media until you watch it." But whatever, even that couldn't bring me down (I'm a jerk)!!

Ever since the last episode of last season (that closed with Amy breaking up with Sheldon, because she wasn't sure they were "going anywhere" and Sheldon being upset, but "understanding" and revealing to a figurine of Smeagol/Gollum that he indeed had an engagement ring for Amy) I have been incredibly sad and not at all that into the new season.

But, I stayed a faithful viewer (I know a lot of people that have quit watching for various reasons) and last night on "S09/Ep10: The Earworm Reverberation" I was rewarded with the why. And the answer to that is- BECAUSE I FREAKING LOVE THIS SHOW AND THE SHAMY IS REUNITED.

Thank you Beach Boys (and your song- "Darlin").

And while I've still liked the show alright this season, I've just felt that something was missing. Frankly, I just don't like seeing Sheldon upset (in his heart) and I think that's what has been bugging me the most. Jim Parsons just has a way about him to make me love Sheldon (and his quirky habits). And therefore, when Sheldon is sad, I'm sad. Funny, huh?

This episode was the best of the season so far for various reasons, including:

  • Penny's hair couldn't look more amazing right now (and I'm one of the few people that loved her short do) 
  • Sheldon's "descent into madness"
  • Leonard and Penny were at their utmost adorable of over one and a half seasons
  • Footloose references
  • Bernadette giving Amy a "sex talk"
  • The metaphors (this is the only show on the planet that can make laundry sound sweet)
  • THE DIALOGUE (it was the best that it's been all season and causes this post to have a lot of "side notes")

And this and that.

I haven't enjoyed an episode this much since "S08/Ep08: The Prom Equivalency." Which coincidentally was another episode that included a big step for Shamy!! (Sheldon admitted that he was in love with Amy..... and she hyperventilated). And I wrote about it, too.

This episode starts with Sheldon recording a self-journal to "future Sheldon" to document his "descent into madness." We find out why a couple of seconds later when it flashes back two days and Leonard calls Sheldon out on humming a song that Sheldon can't place. Why does that make him crazy? According to Sheldon because- "he has an eidetic memory and should be able to remember and place everything." This song being stuck in his head has completely "ruined his life" and screwed up his bathroom habits (which is why his life is ruined and he's not AT ALL dramatic about it).

Side note #1: "Sheldon Cooper's descent into madness day two. It's 2:25 a.m. and I feel the urge to urinate. My normal urination time is 7:10 a.m., but here I am, in the middle of the night, struggling to keep my mind sharp and my pajamas dry. It's only a matter of time before my tenuous grasp on reality fades. I suppose I should pee while I still know what a toilet is". See, not dramatic at all.

Penny and Leonard try to be supportive (and also, poke fun at him over it, because that's just the way all of their friendships work) and Sheldon even self-journals about Leonard and Penny. About Penny he says- "Penny is his friend and if she offers him food, that it's ok to take it..... because he probably paid for it anyways." And a sweet little message about Leonard- "This is Leonard. He's your best friend in the world. Sometimes he gets cranky, but you can trust him with your life. And he does more things for you than I can even begin to list." Which Leonard then thanks him for, because how can you not THAT WAS SO SWEET.

Side note #2:  "Dear Crazy Future Sheldon, this is a thermostat. It controls the temperature of the apartment. The ideal setting is 72 degrees. If you find this too cold, then put on a jacket..... A straitjacket, 'cause 72's the best and you're crazy."

And there was some other stuff happening in the show (filler) that wasn't bad, but wasn't necessarily good either (Raj/Howard storyline, which I usually love, but just didn't impress me this week). But Amy and Bernadette's little talk was funny. Amy had asked Dave out on another date and she informed Bernadette that she was making him dinner. Bernadette revealed to her that this was very intimate, because- "You're inviting him into your home. It's intimate. It's where your underpants live." However, then Bernadette asks her since it would be the first time she's intimate if it's a good idea to do it with a guy that's 6'7 and when Amy seems confused she says- "Because it's like taking your first drivers test in a bus." Subtle Bernadette. Subtle.

Side note #3: Sheldon calls the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame and hums the song to the person who answers the phone. Once they tell him that they have no idea what the song is and he exclaims- "you call yourself the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame?!!" they have a few choice words for him and he drops the line- "Do you sing along with the greatest hits of Elvis Presley with that mouth?!!" Classic.

Blah, Blah, Blah (other story lines)..... Sheldon plays the keyboard in the middle of the night to try and figure out the song and it of course disturbs Leonard and Penny, because they're not "descending into madness." They argue about who's going to go take care of him/it (much like new parents argue over a crying newborn) and eventually Leonard wins. Penny wrestle the keyboard from Sheldon while he screams- "What are you doing?! Why are you SO strong?!!" She comes back to bed triumphant, but it is short lived as Sheldon has bought a tuba and starts playing the song on that instead. HA! You should've known Sheldon would have a back up plan, Penny. Do you not remember when he stole your underwear?!

Side note #4: "Now this is your spot. You're very protective of it. When anyone else tries to sit here, you berate them relentlessly. It sounds mean, but somehow you make it adorable."

Sheldon finally remembers what song is stuck in his head (it's Darlin' by the Beach Boys) while listing off famous scientists and artists who have gone crazy (including: Pythagoras, Bobby Fisher and Brian Wilson- who was a member of the Beach Boys) when he was having dinner with Leonard and Penny (and he's very happy about it, because now he doesn't have to "take a pigeon as his bride!" Because you know- crazy). Then he realizes that the song is about Amy. At least to him. When they ask why he says that- "What he means is that he’s suffered a loss and found art that made that pain, and the joy that preceded it, understandable. He finds art that speaks to him on a deeper level." (Can we all just confirm that it's a big moment for Sheldon?). Penny says that Amy really has "softened his life" to which Sheldon exclaims- "Yes, she's the dryer sheets of his heart!!" and sets off to find Amy.

Side note #5: After he leaves Leonard asks Penny if he too is the "dryer sheets of her heart" to which she replies- "Better. He's the lint trap of her love." You just gotta love this show and its metaphors (like I said, only The Big Bang Theory could make laundry sound sweet).

SPOILER ALERT >>>>> This is going to happen!!!!!

Sheldon goes to Amy's apartment (where she's currently having her dumb date with Dave- even though I like Dave, I don't like Amy with anybody except Sheldon) to tell her what he discovered. And then this amazing conversation happened:

***knockknockknock*** Amy..... ***knockknockknock*** Amy..... ***knockknockknock*** Amy.....   Amy: "That's Sheldon." Dave: "Really?! How's my hair?!" (Kidding. Even though that happened, it's not the best part).

Amy: "Sheldon, this- this isn't a good time." Sheldon: "I don't care. Amy, there was a song I couldn't get out of my head. Eventually, I realized the song was about you, and like that earworm, I can't get you out of my heart. So, what I'm trying to say is, you're my heartworm..... The metaphorical kind, not- not the poodle-killing kind."

- Insert Dave for a minute. (Don't worry, he wasn't trying to sabotage anything, he just really wanted to meet his idol..... Sheldon!!).

Sheldon: "I'm- I'm sorry; I didn't realize you were on a date." Amy: "No, it- it..... it's ok. Keep going?" Sheldon: "Amy, if you want to be my girlfriend again, I really want to be your boyfriend." Amy: "I really want that, too." Sheldon: "Good. Because I love you." Amy: "I love you, too." ..... Dave: "Kiss her, you brilliant fool!!" (Am I the only one that laughed hysterical that Dave didn't even care that Sheldon wanted Amy back, because he idolizes Sheldon so much? Even he is Team Shamy!!).  

And he does (very passionately, might I add- like, full blown makeout) and he tells her that he'll let her get back to her date and goes to walk out and she pulls him back in and says- "come here" and they continue to kiss.

And next weeks preview (plus, spoilers, because I don't mind them) shows Penny and Bernadette telling Amy that Sheldon's ready to "be intimate" and she freaks out and he freaks out and then they..... you know..... deal with it together. Also, it's Amy's birthday and the new Star Wars movie (Star Wars: The Force Awakens) comes out that day!! So, I reckon that means that three awesome things are happening on next weeks episode!!

Side note #6: I just found out that this episode was the four year anniversary of "S05/Ep 10: The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition" when Sheldon interrupted Amy's date with Stuart and asks her to be his girlfriend. (Also, it's the second time Sheldon interrupts Amy's date to advance their relationship and Amy never minds the interruption..... but I already knew that one).

I will forever love (and be)- #TeamShamy

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Those damn twinkle lights are mocking me.

(I'm just not a holly jolly kind of person).

It feels like it's been forever since I have written anything. In all honesty, I've been meaning to write down the happenings of life and I've wanted to say a thing or two, but have found no gumption (yes- I used the word gumption) to do so. I really just want to freaking sleep.

I did put up our Christmas tree though (only because Momma really wanted it).

Instead I have just been living life, trying to figure out this ridiculous weather and being ill. Not attitude wise, but immune system wise. Although, my brother would probably tell you that I'm ill the other way to (and if he wasn't such a jag-horse he wouldn't think that). Eventually though, I will get back in my "groove" and write about some things. Things like:

  • How I'm considering buying (I'm sad that I no longer have Netflix- damn me and my not having "streaming devices") the Once Upon A Time (or OUAT) dvds and watching the show
  • Health updates on Momma and I (Pretty much- I'm alright for now and I'll have way more to say about her)
  • Movies that I've watched recently
  • Another "sister" thing that's coming up
  • How I almost got asked out on a date (dude was full on asking me personal questions and trying to prepare for a "relationship"- his words) and how I not only freaked out, but turned him down, because I'm brutally honest like that
  • Solae's birthday (she's a December baby)
  • How I managed to make sending out our Christmas cards a damned ole fiasco

But until that day, I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing and wait for the holidays to pass. I'm much more fortunate than most people, and for that I am forever thankful, but honestly, I'm just not big on holidays. I think my brother actually called me a "grinch" at some point. Ass.

Monday, November 30, 2015

On the last day of November.

(Because I couldn't think of a different title).

I can't believe that it's already that time of year to send out Christmas cards. And yes, I am very "old schooled" like that and feel the need to send out Christmas cards. I just think that it's a little something nice to do to let people know that you are in fact thinking about them (even the ones that you might not like that much). I only send cards to those I love the most (plus one or two, because I feel obligated now).

I'm trying to feel very optimistic for this coming year. Afterall, I'm not getting any younger (here comes 26..... oh, 25..... we barely knew one another.....) and I've always been a fairly optimistic person in the first place. Even when things are completely horrible, I try to find a silver lining. It's both a curse and enlightening.

But, not to jump too far ahead of myself (I've had a bit too much sugar for this early in the day- you think that my body would just be used to it by now). We're one day away from December 2015 and I'm just now having to wear my heavy coat outside (I leave for work at 6:00 am- it's real cold then!). Not to mention that I'm in a good mood today. I don't have a reason for it, I just am. I'm both happy and suspicious of it..... it happens that way alot for me.

What can we expect in December? Who in the hell knows. I myself am no psychic and I kind of like "flying by the seat of my pants" or however that saying goes. But I think we should all make a list of "maybes" that might happen in December (and follow into the new year).

  • Maybe: you'll finally put up that pesky Christmas tree that they've been bugging you about (but you'll probably be drunk for it, because that's the only way to decorate)
  • Maybe: you'll look that guy up on social media, because you think he may no longer be a psycho (he's probably still a psycho, but- YOLO)
  • Maybe: you'll finally lose that extra pesky 45-60 pounds that you've just been keeping out of pure laziness (or maybe you'll decide to keep them for warmth and your inherent laziness- whatevs, they're not that bad)
  • Maybe: you'll finally wear something besides sweats on the weekends (most definitely not, because you love them and they understand you, why mess with a great thing?)
  • Maybe: you'll get your Christmas cards sent out on time, so they are delivered before Valentines Day (but then again, you always start out with the best of intentions)

See how I kid? I really just wanted an excuse to write something today, anything really. I could write about a million things, but honestly, none of them really stood out to me like I wanted them to. There were things to write about in my personal life (nothing juicy, so don't be too sad) and we all know that there are many things happening out in the world to talk about (but I do not want to get into the battle of politics, religious views, vaccination protocols, etc.), I just didn't know where to start, so I started from the place that I always start-

Here's hoping I make it through the rest of this Monday.

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

I can hear my inner "Damaris Phillips" calling.

(And she's really freaking hungry).

I won't be spending Thanksgiving with Solae (she has to go with her mom and step-mom to her stepmom's family dinner). Since I won't be seeing her then, I wanted to see her now. Can you believe she's eleven (she'll be twelve in a couple weeks) and already like a foot taller than me? AT ELEVEN. Did I mention that I won't be spending the holiday with her?! BOO.


Remember when I told you about "Operation: Thanksgiving 2015" a couple of days ago? I was talking about what our plans are and that basically consisted of us getting together to eat an unhealthy amount of food? And then I listed out the things that Momma and I were responsible for cooking (you'll be happy to know that I remembered the fifth item was corn..... and by "remembered" I mean I had to call Aunt Poot for the third time and ask).

Well, Momma had a appointment with her podiatrist yesterday evening (by the way, her toe is all healed, say for a scab, and she doesn't have to go back until February!!) and while her, I and Aunt Poot were talking the subject of Thanksgiving came up (I know, shocking). I asked Poot if she was going to make sweet potatoes and she informed me no, that she loved them (we're the only two in our group that do), but she doesn't know how to cook them.

Therefore, I have decided to reach down deep into my southern roots (I.e. use a shit ton of butter) and make her some homemade sweet potato casserole with a brown sugar/ pecan topping. It's an old recipe of mine (I'm lying, I googled it and I'm going to adjust it to my own taste) and I'm really hoping that she'll like it (as in, it doesn't end up tasting like manure).

It calls for:
  • 3 cups cooked mashed sweet potatoes (who are we kidding? I'll use canned)
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 3/4 cup softened butter
  • 1/2 cup milk
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
For the topping:
  • 1/2 cup brown sugar
  • 1/3 cup flour
  • 2 tablespoons softened butter (2- ha!!)
  • 1/2 cup chopped expensive ass nuts pecans
And the directions sound really simple to:
  • Put the mashed sweet potatoes (that I totally got out of the can) in a large bowl.
  • Beat eggs, sugar, and 3/4 cup butter- Add milk and vanilla (blend well)
  • Combine the egg and butter mixture with the mashed (canned) sweet potatoes and pour into a greased (yay!! More butter!!) 2-quart casserole (I'll use whatever I have on hand, because I know I don't have a casserole dish).
  • Combine brown sugar, flour, 2 tablespoons (I reiterate- ha!!) softened butter and pecans- mix until crumbly and sprinkle over sweet potatoes.
  • Bake at 350° for 45 minutes.

And after you do all of that you will supposedly have a sweet potato casserole so delicious that you'll want to eat the entire thing (plus the hands of anyone who dares touch your scrumptious plateful). I'm really hoping that it works out that way, because if it does I'm gonna be all- "Oh yeah, I just totally thought it up all by myself and threw everything together. No biggy." But if it's disgusting, I'm going to say- "I can't believe I spent twelve hours making this and the recipe was wrong, I should've known not to google anything." Which will be a lie either way, but I mean really, get over it.

Momma and I will go to the grocery store after I get off of work today to pick it all up. (Chris is letting me off of work today at 12:30- it's Chris, because Uncle Roger is out today and Danielle had a dentist's appointment and Chris is in charge- I ain't mad about it). I should probably pick up alcohol to. Not because anything I'm cooking calls for it. The only thing that calls for it is the chef- aka me.

Happy Holidays from me and mine!!!!! I hope you all are surrounded with love and warmth!!!!!
(Only I would put "scab" and "casserole" in the same post). 

Monday, November 23, 2015

Operation: Thanksgiving 2015.

(I'm very into calling everything that is planned or I'm going to be doing- "Operation").

You know, like I'm all stealthy and militarian. That's a made up word, as I'm sure you can tell. Also, I'm pretty sure that you're not allowed to talk about your "Operations" when you're legit in the military, so I would be breaking all of the rules. Actually, I'm more than pretty sure, I'm almost 100% sure. If you're wondering, this is my way of telling all military personnel (active or retired) that I am beyond thankful for them and all that they do. From the bottom of my heart- THANK YOU. Thank you, veterans and active service men/women, for everything that you have done and continue to do!!
Ok, enough with the heavy. I just wanted to say that I am 100% thankful for them. Thanksgiving (2015) is a couple of days away and the planning has been in motion for quite some time now. And by "planning" I mean we go down to Aunt Poot and Uncle Darrell's every Thanksgiving (and Christmas and Easter and Independence Day and all the other holidays, but NOT THE POINT) to hang out and eat with them. They started inviting us down a few years ago and now it's just to the point to where we all know we're getting together for the holidays. That's the way we like it.

I'm not big on holidays. I haven't ever really been, but I do enjoy when Momma and I get to spend them with Uncle Darrell and Aunt Poot. There's no fussing, fighting, drama or unwanted boo-hooing. There's just family, laughing and food. Which coincidentally, happens to be one of mine and Uncle Darrell's favorite parts. He and I have been planning our Thanksgiving menus since August (no, I'm not kidding- we started coming up with them while drinking). We don't like to leave things to chance (only with food and alcohol, everywhere else in life we're very "YOLO").

However, even though he and I have been planning what we wanted to have since August, we never actually put forth any other plans. Such as, you know, who was going to cook what. Basically, past the part of what food we wanted to eat together at his house, we had nothing. It took the real functioning adults (Hi Momma and Aunt Poot) to actually get things nailed down. They made me compile a list (I say made me, but really they made it all up and I just wrote it for them). Here's what Momma and I are responsible for:

  • noodles (Reamen's w/broth- yum)
  • mac-n-cheese (always our "bring to")
  • rolls (I got the brown 'n serve ones- ain't nobody trying to pull a "Pioneer Woman" around here)
  • deviled eggs (that's all Momma, I would screw them up)
  • and something else, but I forget what, which I'm sure is insanely helpful (maybe mashed potatoes?)

Doesn't sound like too much, right? I'll probably get up and make it all on Thanksgiving morning (except for the deviled eggs, like I said- Momma), or I might make the noodles the night before. I don't know yet, I assume it all depends on Wednesdays mood. Speaking of Wednesdays mood, come Wednesday at 3:30 pm (hopefully sooner- please love us and let us leave way early Uncle Roger), I'm off of work until.....

6:30 Monday morning. That's right, four days off. FOUR DAYS. To be more precise:

  4  days  15  hours  55  minutes 

(Hopefully sooner- come on, be a sport!). <<<<< Not gonna happen. Aside from that, most people make a list of things that they're thankful for. I did it once as an "Instagram Challenge" and rightfully treated it as a playful thing more than a "deep/meaningful" type of thing. Mostly, because I'm an insensitive/sarcastic asshole, but also, because I try to let things that I'm thankful for be known in my everyday life. I don't want to just do it one day or one time of year. I want it to show through in my everyday life.

So, to that I say- the countdown to Thanksgiving is upon us. (2 days 9 hours 5 minutes- if anyone's keeping track). Be thankful not just on that day, but every single day. That's the way that it should be. Remember the people that don't get to spend this holiday (along with countless others) with their loved ones, and keep them in your thoughts and prayers (I.e. Don't be an asshole).

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

My arch nemesis.

(Just because I forgot for a minute doesn't make it less true).

Momma and I were talking yesterday evening on our way home and I remembered something pretty hilarious. I mean, it wasn't hilarious then (yes it was, I was just very mad), but it is thinking back on it now. It all started when Momma mentioned- "It's been so long since I've seen your hair as long as it is, how long has it been?" And of course I was all- "How am I supposed to remember? I can't even remember what I did Tuesday" She said- "It is Tuesday" And I was like- "SEE?!"

But I digress.

Because after we got home and I was cleaning our living room, I remembered. I remembered when the last time my hair was this long. I immediately ran to her and exclaimed- "I remember!!" She was way less enthused than I was (it usually happens like this), but decided to pacify me by asking- "Ok, when?"

Here's my recollection of events:

When I was in third grade there was a boy in my class, that shall remain nameless (but YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, SIR), that was in every way my arch nemesis. Quit laughing, it's true. He was the Joker to my Batman, the Kripke to my Cooper, the Sobriety to my Courtney Love, you get the point. The boy was PURE EVIL. Everyone thought that we were always bickering back and forth, because we had a crush on each other (the whole "boys pick on you when they like you" thing- dumb), but that was entirely untrue. We bickered all of the time, because he was a buttface. And yes, that is what third grade me told him. That he was a buttface. Because I know how to throw a real zinger when it comes to insults (wait until I watched That 70s Show a few years later and first heard the insult- dilhole, and after that made up the phrase- douche canoe).

The point is, that boy was always tormenting me. ALWAYS. I let it go forever, but eventually got fed up with it and one day when he was playing with my pigtails (I always wore pigtails) I turned around and yanked/twisted his ear until he screamed like a girl. Things only went from there, because the next day he cut off one of my pigtails. Yes, just one. ONE PIGTAIL. I had to carry my detached pigtail home, with a note from my teacher for Momma, to tell her that I hadn't done it myself. Of course I hadn't done it myself, I already had feathered bangs and a lisp, how much more ridiculous did I need to look?!

That was the last time my hair was that long, because Momma in turn had to cut the rest of my hair to match and my hair went from almost to my waist to up past my shoulders. I was sad.

BUT not as sad as I was angry. Even though Momma raised me very much to be "don't start fights" "don't provoke" "just walk away" all I could hear when she was talking about "being the bigger person" while cutting my hair was- "blah, blah, blah". Obviously because I was in the middle of plotting my revenge. I didn't want to be the bigger person that time, once again I had had enough. I went to school the next day (with my very short hair) and as soon as I got to my classroom he started laughing and pointing and being mean (I know, you're shocked at this point). I sat down in my desk and tried to ignore him..... for awhile. And then he pulled my hair and the fight was on. And not just that day, but every single day after that. He continued to pick and I continued to fight back.

Eventually our teacher separated us (she had sat us next to each other thinking it was a crush- it wasn't) after he bit me on my leg and then punched me in the eye and I stabbed him in the hand with a pair of scissors and kicked him in the throat (obviously, I kicked his ass and won that fight). Now that I think back on it, I have a hard time believing that they didn't kick us both out of school, but that was before the whole "No Tolerance" policy (damn, I'm glad they've put that in schools).

We learned to deal with each other over the years and as we grew up (and he admitted in junior high that he did have a crush on me), but to this day (almost twenty years later) I am still convinced that he was and is- my arch nemesis.

Friday, November 13, 2015

Because I'm mature like that.

(Except really not at all).

Remember my good ole buddy- B. Davis? Of course you do, she's the one that has more issues in her love life than Buffalo Bill. Not in the same context, but you get my idea. Well, she has had yet another mishap when it comes to her current "flame." Oh, the things that happen when the crackling flames burn down to embers. Sorry, I'm in a serious metaphorical mood right now, I'll try to restrain myself.


Again, I apologize. So, back to BD. Remember when her and I had that long talk about unicorns and I said that the current guy she was seeing might surpass her unicorn? I should've known better than to say that, afterall, unicorns are mythical and mysterious for a reason. And the reason is the fact that they can't be surpassed (at least for this analogy).

Her Dilemma (with my sarcastic comments included):

She needed some "real talk" and she knows that if she needs someone to be a borderline asshole honest then she can always count on me. She said "I'm having some issues with this whole (insert the guy's name here) thing. After the initial it's over we didn't talk for weeks. He finally messaged me and we spent a few hours talking and of course there was sex (because when isn't there sex when you're attracted to someone who blew you off a few weeks ago- sarcasm?). Then he messaged me the next day and the day after that and then it just stops. We talked on Halloween (maybe the day after- she couldn't fully remember) and I always initiate the conversation, and then nothing until last night (sounds like a booty call to me). I made the choice to factory reset my phone and it erased all of those messages from him along with the pictures (side note: couldn't you have just manually deleted all of that without resetting your entire phone?). I felt a little relief, then I got the message from him. It's like he knows when I'm to the point of giving up (I feel like only a Jedi would know that, and he is definitely no Jedi). So, we talk and he ends up coming over (first mistake was talking, second was him coming over), but strangely I don't regret any of the times and it's like my rational thoughts turn off until hours later (you're an emotional female, you only have two stages and neither is rational nor logical- you only have 1. panic induced spasms that include you repeating "why doesn't he like me?!" while drinking alcohol and 2. smack talk about his tiny penis..... yes, even if it's not tiny)."

My Follow-up (with a minor defense):

"So, what do you want me to help you with? Because the way I look at it, if you're ok just sleeping with him and not having a relationship (yes, some people do that and it's entirely ok and healthy), then quit over thinking everything else. If you're not ok with just sex and casual conversation, quit right now- cold turkey like a heroin addict."

Her Rebuttal (once again, including my sarcastic comments):  

"I don't know if I'm ok with it or not. It's the lack of communication/conversation that I think I'm not ok with. We don't talk much at all. Weeks go by and not one word (sounds like a dream of mine). It bothers me that he spent so much time telling me it wasn't just sex (of course he did..... so you would in turn have sex with him). He said it over and over and over (again, so you would in turn have sex with him). And now..... it clearly is and I just don't know where my head is."

My Defense (with clear reasoning):

"Unfortunately, as a woman, you can't go from here without confronting your feelings (clearly, you haven't built up the tolerance of ignoring your feelings like I have) and seeing if you're ok with it or not (you're not). My own personal experience, and take this with a grain of salt, because we both know how much I drink (it helps with the whole "not confronting my feelings" thing), I'm going to go ahead and say that you're not ok with it, because you already have feelings invested (because hormones)."

Her Second Argument (do I even need to tell you I'm sarcastic at this point?):

"I know I should just cut my losses and call it a day, but it's like when he texts or something, all rational thoughts (we've talk about this, you don't have any) and brain activity shuts off. I go deaf and dumb to any kind of coherent thoughts until after he's gone and come down from my 'high' and then I'm like- dammit!! (we've all been there)"

My Solution (with complete maturity- I had drank a bit by this point):

"Tell him that. Let him think he's coming over for booty and then be like- NO. No booty for you, sir!! Because you're an asshole."

Her Final Stand and Hope (you know what's coming):

"And that's what I was trying to do..... with resetting my phone. And then boom he texts. Maybe....."

My Closing Argument (so much alcohol involved at this point):

"Then you're going to have to take the mature approach to this whole situation. Secretly egg his car, block all of his numbers/social media and avoid him like he was the Black Plague and your life depended on it. I'm talking bob and weave, hiding behind people at the grocery store, maybe even relocating to a new state."

Needless to say, my maturity is being called into question and she's still nowhere near a solution.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

The Hurt Locker.

(I.e- the most intense movie ever made in the history of ever).

I just watched this movie over the past couple of nights (don't ask, it's been a long week). I'm aware that it's been out since 2009, it was nominated for nine Academy Awards, won six Oscars and is pretty much world renowned at this point and time. I've been meaning to watch it, truly I have, but its just kind of slipped my mind. But in the last two weeks I've really wanted to see it (I learned that one of the soldiers is played by Brian Geraghty and he's one of my favorites), and when we went to Aunt Mary's fish fry she told me that I could borrow her copy (along with Flags of our Fathers and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo- and yes, I'm aware that those movies have been out for like five or ten years, but it's a process, dammit ).

I jumped on board with it (like I said- Brian Geraghty) and decided out of the three I borrowed- The Hurt Locker was going to be the first one that I watched. This particular movie is really intense. Like, really, really intense. So, intense. I'm not even kidding about how intense it is. Here, this should give you a little insight, the movie starts out with this quote-

"The rush of battle is a potent and often lethal addiction, for war is a drug."

See what I mean? Intense. I assumed that it would be a bit intense just because of the context going in (bomb specialist soldiers in an Iraqi war zone- each one of those are intense on their own, let alone combined), but I just didn't think it would be as intense as what it was. Maybe I was being naive, in fact I'm sure I was, but I still like to believe in the good guys. And while I still feel like all of our American Soldiers are the good guys and I respect them tremendously, it's strange to see them in this setting. Their setting. And while I know it's only a movie, in a way, it's also not. Real people do these kinds of things everyday, putting their lives on the line for what they believe in and yet, no amount of "thank you's" or "I love you's" or "I'm grateful for you's" will ever be enough.


American war film about a three-man (Sergeant First Class William James- Jeremy Renner, Sergeant J.T. Sanborn- Anthony Mackie and Specialist Owen Eldridge- Brian Geraghty) Explosive Ordinance Disposal (bomb disposal) team during the Iraq War.

That's all of the synopsis that you get, because that's all that you need. Watch it.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Fish frys and yoga mats.

(Coincidentally, this picture has nothing to do with either of those things).

{{Before I begin, let me tell you what a guy at work said to me first thing (like 6:30 am) this morning when I got to the office. Doug: "Katie, I have a poltergeist in my office and I'm scared." Me: "A poltergeist?" Doug: "Yes, a poltergeist. Can you come check it out for me?" Me: "What good am I if your office has a poltergeist?!" Doug: "In the movie it was a girl that defeated them. And you're wearing boots." Me: "That girl was like four, had blonde hair and got sucked into a tv. Also, I don't know what my boots have to do with this, but ok, I'm kinda curious now." So, I went into his office and sure enough on the computer screen in the corner of the office (all of the guys use that one for prints) it was blinking on and off really fast and Doug and I had to discuss how to kill a poltergeist. Luckily for us, I've watched Dean and Sam Winchester do it before.}}  

Friday (November 6): Of course, I was at the office my usual hours (6:30-3:30) and when I got off, Momma, Greg and I had some errands to run. Momma and I had to swing by to make a payment on some things, Greg had to run to Wal-Mart to pick up some meninine (I totally just made that word up) needs and he ended up picking us up sandwiches for supper. When we got home, Ashley dropped Solae off (Ashley and her wife were going out of town for their 1st anniversary- until Sunday) and she stayed with us until Sunday after the fish fry. 

Saturday (November 7): Momma and I rode down to Aunt T and Uncle Clyde's with Aunt Poot. We went to see them over the summer and have been meaning to go back down (they live in Seymour, IN- about an hour or so South of us), but this past weekend was the first chance that we had gotten. In pure Aunt T fashion she had already made us lunch and had brownies and lemonade waiting for when we got there. Traffic was ridiculous (why they feel the need to merge a four lane highway into a one lane all at once is beyond me), but it was completely worth it. We all talked, met a woman that I guess is my Grammy's sister (I had no clue she existed, I thought Grammy only had brothers), and Uncle Clyde showed me some of his gun/knife collection and invited Poot and I to "Friendship" with him in the Spring (it's a giant re-enactment/camping thing). While I probably won't stay the night down there (I don't like leaving Momma overnight and camping isn't really my thing anymore), it was nice of him to offer and Poot and I will probably go spend the day down there with him. The trip home was much more smooth.

Sunday (November 8): First off, Uncle Darrell brought our new washer over first thing in the morning and hooked it all up (our washer decided to blow up sometime at the beginning/middle of last week- we had a guy come to "fix" it and he did absolutely nothing, but charge $70, and that's not me being dramatic). Needless to say he's (Uncle Darrell- not the "repair" guy) as awesome as always. Aunt Mary had her annual fish fry and it was a pretty good turn out (Momma, Greg and I rode with Poot, Uncle Darrell, Solae and Sammy out there- Sammy is their grandson/my little cousin). We made this broccoli/cheddar pasta salad stuff and everybody that ate it said it was really good (I didn't try it myself, I tried enough noodles while I was cooking it). We all laughed, talked and cut up, it was nice. Of course, you always have to have that one person to be an asshole to someone for no reason at all (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), but other than that, it was good. Before we left, Aunt Mary told me that I could borrow some movies and then she gave me a yoga mat, because I had been talking about maybe trying to take up yoga (I have to get a book or DVD or something- I'm hoping it will help my back) and she was all- "I TOTALLY HAVE A YOGA MAT THAT YOU CAN HAVE! HERE!! TAKE IT!!!" She always tries to be really helpful to people over any and everything.

Also, Saturday was the first time that I had brushed my hair in a week and decided to take a picture to commemorate it.

Friday, November 6, 2015

Call me the crazy cat lady.

(And if you're wondering, the other half of this picture had a dog in it).

When most people think of a "crazy cat lady" their mind immediately goes to some old lady with her gray hair in a bun, glasses pulled down on her face and she's the proud owner of about thirteen cats whom are her only company.

I have a dog. (And he's the absolute best).

But don't count me out as a "crazy cat lady" just yet. You see, not only do people think of "little gray haired ladies" as the "crazy cat ladies", but it's also used to describe single gals. I.e. Me.

It's a running joke, but I'm pretty sure that it's one of those jokes that people repeat all in good humor, but there's also a lot of merit behind it. The saying goes- "I'm single forever, I might as well go adopt a bunch of cats".

For one, if that's your mentality then I assume you think you suck, so if no one else wants to spend time with you, why would you make a poor/defenseless animal do it against its will? Rude.

Secondly, think a little bit more of yourself. Chances are you're a great lady that just hasn't found your compatible counter part. Why should that be considered a bad thing? Personally, I've been single for around three years (taboo for a 25 year old woman) and I couldn't be happier.

Are there times that I think it would be nice to have a significant other to cuddle with and share my thoughts and feelings?

Eh, I'm not really good with the whole "sharing" thing. Can I offer you a sarcastic comment instead? Those I have.

I just don't feel like you have to have a significant other in your life to define and fully appreciate yourself. I guess, I just don't require that kind of validation. Don't get me wrong, we all like attention and to feel "wanted" on occasion, but I like to do things when, how and with whom I want. I like having the "freedom" of it all.

A random cat showed up at our house over the past weekend. It appears to be a house cat that someone has randomly dropped off (P.s. whomever you guys are that did that- you're assholes). Everybody immediately took to it, but it seems to only want affection and/or attention from me.

I couldn't figure out why. I don't "hate" cats or anything, but I've always been a consistent dog kind of gal. Probably because dogs are more cuddly and I'm allergic to cats. But this cat has been on it when it comes to capturing my attention. It has even gone so far as to climb atop our handrails to peer into our house.

My brothers girlfriend decided to make the wise crack to me- "It probably wants all of your attention, because it can see your future. You're going to be a crazy cat lady!! (Insert laughter from her here)".

First things first, shut up.

Second, if you think that I'm going to be insulted by what you just implied, you are mistaken. I hear women in my everyday life, whether it be in person, social media, radio, or somewhere else on the internet complaining about their significant others. (And no, it's not just females complaining, but males to. I don't think that "all men are assholes" and it's "us" against "them" or something. No. Because we all know that there are plenty of females that suck to).

And since I like being single and all that it implies (I've never wanted to be married or have kids, nothing against those who do, it's just not for me), I don't find it offensive at all. In fact, I think of it this way:

Either I can have a significant other who's an asshole (and no, I'm not saying that everyone is, I'm not that jaded, but obviously if you know anything about my track record you know that I seem to have a type..... And that type always seems to land on asshole) and make myself unhappy.

Or, I can adopt a random cat, keep living for myself instead of others and let people think what they will about it (along with all of the other decisions in my life that they feel they should have an opinion on). I think I'm going to take the cat. I'll just keep feeding it dog food and giving it bowls of milk to drink. Crazy cat lady?

Bring it.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

If only Norman Reedus would bring me a salad.

(And teach me how to shoot a crossbow).

I've had the worst craving for a chicken salad the last few days. Not like a chicken salad sandwich, but an actual salad with chicken on it. I had one last week for lunch and ever since I finished that one I've wanted another one. Just call me a little piggy.

In my defense, the salads that I get/make/eat are beyond delicious. You see, most people eat salads for the health factors (i.e. weight loss, vitamins, etc), but I eat salads strictly for the taste value. So, while everybody is over there munching on plain ole broccoli with kale and vinegar, I can have a great salad complete with cheese, fried chicken strips (although I do like grilled strips too), dried pepper flakes and creamy dressing (no vinegar and oil for me, I want ranch or french!!). Maybe I can talk Momma into picking up dinner out tomorrow night. Salad with chicken..... or Tex-Mex. You know, which ever comes first.

Also, I really wanted to use that picture at the beginning of a post. I have other things to say. I swear I do, but the only thing that I can think of at this present time is- FOOD. Just all of the food. Give me all of it. I want breakfast, lunch, dinner and lots of snacks. I can't seem to satisfy my appetite lately. It's like I want something, but then I want fifteen other things.

Maybe I'm a vampire or something. You know, not fully turned yet, but starving due to "the hunger". Ok, that's it, I have got to quit watching the Syfy channel. I'm over here trying to blame me being hungry on 30 Days of Night (great movie by the way- Hello Josh Hartnett- I've always had a somewhat unhealthy love for him).

I know that that's not really why I'm hungry, and once I eat I'm perfectly fine. I don't want you to think that I feel the need to eat 24/7, that's not it. It's just the fact that I had to skip breakfast this morning (running late for work) and it's not quite time for lunch yet. So you know, there's that. I made some delicious chicken strips for supper last night and probably could've eaten all of them, but didn't, because I didn't want to cook more of them. Maybe I'll cook some more of them tonight for supper. Again.

I'll quit talking about this now.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

It's probably global warming.

(Or something along those lines).

The weather has been completely ridiculous the last few months. The temperature has been everywhere from 37 degrees to 98 degrees. And no, that is not me being dramatic, that is me being factual. Winter stuck around a little extra this past year (i.e. April), so Summer had a late start. I assume that's how weather works, I really have no idea though.

But the last few months have completely thrown every one of us for a loop. When September rolled around we all started to prepare ourselves for Autumn weather. Afterall, it had dropped down to the 40s and 50s, so why wouldn't we? Psych!! It reached 47 in the middle of September and then immediately shot back up to 92.

September is known to be a fickle little minx, so we didn't really put too much thought into it. Then October rolled around and people started breaking out their sweatpants (joke is on you guys, I always wear sweatpants- because comfort!!) and scarves to once again prepare themselves for Autumn. I was wary of this, because our house doesn't have A/C and I knew it was staying way to warm in there for the whole "winter is coming" moment. Guess who was right? Me.

The weather literally dropped to the 30s-40s for four days and then shot back up to the 80s. It really can't decide what it wants to do. My relationship with this weather is literally like all of the romantic relationships from my past. It's indecisive, makes you angry and basically it's just a giant pain in the ass, because it's not what you want.

Don't get me wrong, I am in no way wanting it to get cold. I'm ok with Autumn weather, but I am no longer a fan of Winter weather. It's cold and wet and woefully unpleasant. I worry about Momma, I have to scrape windows and I fall enough in my everyday life, let alone when you cover everything in ice. Not to mention the pain. Don't ask.

However, if it wanted to be Autumn weather until it decided to be Summer again, that would be perfectly fine with me. But instead, here it is- November 4th and it's 73 degrees outside, but this weekend is supposed to be in the high 40s-low 50s. I don't even know what in the hell is happening.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

WHY SO SERIOUS?!!! I hugged the Joker on Halloween.

(Not Heath Ledger, Jack Nicholson or Jared Leto, but the other one).

This past Saturday was Halloween and as per Momma and I's tradition (the last few years) we headed on over to Aunt Poot and Uncle Darrell's to get drunk eat supper and pass out candy. We started going to their house for holidays a few years back, because it's typically only the four of us. Greg does whatever it is that he does and their kids do God only knows what. So, a few years back Uncle Darrell decided that we should all get together for holidays and it's stuck ever since. Which we're good with.

Halloween. It's my favorite holiday by far and I think we should celebrate it at least four times a year. And that's the minimum. You see, I'm one of those creepy people that is a horror fan through and through all year round, not just for the month of October. I enjoy dressing up, I adore horror films and let's face it- candy for every meal? Yes, please. As I've gotten older I've realized that I can combine all of those with alcohol and I've never looked back. Celebrating Halloween (horror movies, candy, alcohol, candy, costumes, decorations, candy) is like seeing my little dreams come true.

{{Side note: Also, for years upon years now I've wanted to be Mia Wallace for Halloween, but haven't found my Vincent Vega in a significant other yet. The John to my Uma you might say. One day though, one day.}}

Saturday Momma and I kind of hung out at the house and just chilled. Aunt Poot and Solae had come down earlier that morning and visited, and then we cleaned our house and did odd and end things. And by odd and end things I mean she did her computer thing and Tayder and I curled up in the chair to watch Halloween Wars. We headed down to Aunt Poot's between 4:30-5:00. Trick-or-Treating wasn't supposed to start until 6:00, but tell that to sugar hungry five year olds. Heathens.

I took over the "candy hander outer" (no, we don't have a better name for it) duties and Uncle Darrell made us girls (mainly Momma, Aunt Poot and myself) hot apple cider..... with Hot Damn in it. What?! It was full of deliciousness. Aunt Poot got tipsy, I was feeling good, but Momma was lit up. (And it was damn hilarious).

{{Side note #2: I didn't realize that my grown ass cousin Ashley was so scared of Freddy Kreuger. I mean, don't get me wrong when I was a kid he scared the crap out of me. When the remake came out in 2010 I figured I was a grown ass woman and would be fine, so I went to see it in the theater on a date and then spent the next two weeks not sleeping. So I get it, he creeps me the hell out to. However, she ran from a seven year old dressed as Freddy Kreuger and hid behind Uncle Darrell. Dude, she could've took him.}} 

We passed out candy and hung out for hours (plus, had "mummy dogs") and eventually we headed home (the next day I helped Uncle Darrell take down their Halloween decorations and then took ours down too). And now I'm sad that October and all of the Halloween goodness is over. But we had a blast this time around!! No worries, I will continue my creepiness and horror film fanaticism (along with my questionable wardrobe choices) for this next year and many years to come (i.e. all of them).

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

That one time (compared to all of the other times) that my friend had a panic attack.

(She has a shit ton of panic attacks).

In 2010 (I can't believe that was almost six years ago, I'm getting old as shit) things were going pretty good. I mean, I would've preferred for more things to have been going my way, but who wouldn't? Ah, the days of when I ate like I do now while drinking copious amounts of alcohol and Dr. Pepper and my pants remained a size 00.

The only thing that has changed on that front is the pants size. Whatevs, I'm good with it.

I was working at the nursing home at the time (I had been there a little over two years) and pretty much never left the skilled hall. In nursing home slang, the "skilled hall" means the hall full of the people that require more care or full care (i.e. Dementia, Alzheimers, splints, paraplegic, quadriplegic, etc.). I enjoyed working on that hall and considered it "my hall". Not "my hall" as in I owned it or was in charge, but "my hall" as in the one I just always worked on.

Everybody that worked there had "their hall" (it was before new management took over and ruined all of our lives), at least in most cases. We would all travel to all of the other ones to help out and would call each other over the loud speaker (or from down the hallway) when we needed or wanted someone specific. I was still working evenings/nights at the time, and was pretty close with almost everyone that I worked with. It's amazing how close you get to some people when you're with them 8-16 hours a day, 6-7 days a week.

That was also the year that swine flu hit the south like a ton of bricks. You laugh, but it's true. People were getting so sick that they were dying (I refuse to say they died from the flu, I go with flu related complications). There were warning signs in the windows of grocery stores and all facilities open to the public to warn people.

Someone made a sign that we had to hang in the nursing home to ward off people coming in that had a cough or fever. It was a real cute sign to, had a little piggy on it with a thermometer in its mouth..... and now that I think back on it, that was probably considered tacky (doesn't make it less cute- we all liked it). Of course, almost every single person got sick (employees and residents) no matter how many precautions we took, because some bitches don't listen when you tell them to keep their fevers away.

There were very few of us that didn't get sick and the hall I worked on was the worst, for the simple fact that we had the most patients (43 in total). Because of this, we had to quarantine and the ones of us that didn't get sick worked double shifts (and then some).

Of course, B. Davis didn't handle the quarantine well. That's what happens when you make someone who's claustrophobic wear a quarantine suit and lock all the doors. Which is hilarious to me, because the doors were always locked and required a code to get in/out of, but she chose that moment to freak out about it. It shouldn't surprise me, she's also the person that turned blue on me and passed out, because she was in denial about being knocked up..... another story for another day.

The point is, yes B. Yes, I remember working 20 hour shifts for almost two weeks. Yes, I remember eating fries, candy and Powerade for breakfast/lunch/dinner. Yes, I remember having to take shifts napping in Mrs. V's recliner, because we weren't allowed to leave the building. Yes, I remember having to blow in your face to make you catch your breath, because according to you "this bird can't be caged in, this bird has to spread her wings to fly." Yes, I remember dancing up and down the halls while bringing people ice water multiple times to keep them hydrated. Yes, I remember the look on your face the first time you seen me rap Eminem trying to calm you down (it totally worked). Yes, I remember the messes that we had to clean up (and the God awful way we smelled after all was said and done). And finally, yes, I do remember all of you awesome people that I used to work with and still consider my surrogate family.  

Here's looking at you.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Am I the only one that connected those dots?!

(Dude better watch his back- And also, probably his crotch).

I'm sure once you read that picture right up there that you thought that this was going to be some sort of inspirational post. Or at the very least, something empowering or positive. Am I right? Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news (no, I don't), but this is nothing like that. In fact, it's kind of the exact opposite.

Actually, it's about a dirty cheater and his concubine. Remember when I told you the beginning of the story? This is part two.

I was scrolling through FB like I do on occasion (i.e. every damn day) and came across the "people you might know" feature. You know the one, it has profile pictures of people that you might know, based on mutual friends and location. A name popped up and the person did look relatively familiar, but it was real out of focus and the name didn't seem to match the face. So, I clicked on it.

Why wouldn't I click on it? We had like 12 "mutual friends" (I have got to quit FB- not gonna happen). And now I know why the picture didn't match the name. The picture is an out-of-focus one containing Dude #1 and Dude #2's wife. Apparently, they're out there and "official" now. And the only reason I say that is, because of this profile picture.

Oh, and of another picture that she has of him on her page talking about "how in love" she is with him (nevermind that she hadn't posted in awhile and the previous post said the same thing..... about her actual husband).

Also, the sonogram picture. Did I forget to mention that part? Yeah, she put the sonogram picture up there declaring when the baby (it's a girl- in case you were wondering) is due (February) and how happy she and the baby's daddy (Dude #1) are to be welcoming this little bundle of joy.

And usually this would be a happy occasion (I think), but with the whole cheating debacle and him having a little girl (who's not going to take not being the only child anymore very well) with his current wife (because both of them are still legally married, although separated NOW) and all of the craziness that is ensuing, I'm assuming not a lot of people are happy about it. They don't have anything against the baby (it's not her fault that her parents are idiots), but they're still not happy with Dude #1 and Dude #2's wife.

And I'm assuming this, because remember that picture at the beginning of the post? That's the picture that was shared on the FB page of Dude #1's wife six hours after the whole "announcement post". (Can you blame her, I mean, really?) And I think that I'm the only one that caught this, but I can't be sure. Also, I have sympathy for Dude #1's wife and Dude #2. It's about to go down. I just don't know what "it" is yet.

Here's hoping for the best at the end of this shit show.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

In between The Rock and the UK

(Tayder always watches TV with me- Even when he's sleepy).

Momma and I watched a couple good movies over the last few weeks. The first one that we watched was when I was sick and had to stay home from work on a Tuesday (I puked up red fettuccine noodles out of my nose..... I know it's disgusting, sorry). That day as I laid on the couch with Tayder and only went outside for about twenty minutes, hoping that the fresh air would make me feel better, we watched- San Andreas.

Have you heard of it? If not, let me tell you a little bit about it. It's a "natural disaster" movie that has Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson (and no, I will never not call him "The Rock", dammit) and Carla Gugino as the main characters. DTRJ is a Los Angeles Fire Department Air Rescue pilot and Carla is his estranged wife. Alexandra Daddario plays their daughter.

Let me just say that movie is awesome and if you like those kinds of movies than you should definitely watch it. Hell, even if you don't like those movies you should watch it. Trust me on this one. DTRJ is a badass, Carla Gugino is a badass, basically just everybody in the movie is a badass. Except Ioan Gruffudd. He's a douche canoe in it, but other than that, filled with badasses.

Best part of the movie? (And trust me, there are a lot):

Emma Gaines: "You left my daughter?! If you're not dead already, I'm gonna f****** kill you". Ray Gaines: "That's my girl."

The other movie that we watched was over this past weekend and it was- Spy. You know which one I mean, the one with Melissa McCarthy, Jason Statham and Jude Law. The one that was supposed to be real funny. Yeah, it wasn't real funny, it was damn hilarious!! Everyone that I know that's seen it has been like- "Who knew Jason Statham was so funny?!" And I'm over here like- "Me. I did. That would be me." If you didn't realize that he was funny, then you have issues.

However, even I wasn't prepared for just how hilarious that he would be. I don't know if I stopped laughing through the whole thing. Of course Momma left the living room to do something else during both movies, because she doesn't watch anything real long, but all the parts that she did watch, she cracked up.

I must have really needed a good laugh and this one more than delivered. I'm a fan of all of the stars, so it was a pretty easy choice for me to watch it, but I've been suggesting it to people ever since. The plot is simple, Melissa McCarthy is a desk-bound CIA analyst and eventually she has to go out into the field as an undercover spy wherein hilarity ensues. Jason Statham and Jude Law are also spies. I don't want to give away too much, but believe me when I say if you need to laugh- watch it!!

Best part of the movie? (Once again, this is hard to narrow down).

Rick Ford: "You really think you’re ready for the field? I once used defibrillators on myself. I’ve pulled shards of glass out of my f****** eye. I’ve jumped from a high-rise building using only a raincoat as a parachute and broke both legs upon landing. And I still had to pretend I was in a f****** Cirque du Soleil show! I’ve swallowed enough microchips and shit them back out again to make a computer. This arm has been ripped off completely and reattached with this f****** arm." Susan Cooper: "I don’t know that that’s possible. I mean, medically." 

Just thought I would let you guys know, watch both films, you won't regret it.