Our one year anniversary.... I should've known there'd be a fight. 🚗🚕🚙

Last weekend was Memorial Day (I mean, I guess technically only Monday was Memorial Day making it just Memorial Day weekend?) and we decided to celebrate it down at Aunt Poot & Uncle D's, per usual.

I should also probably tell you that this month I celebrated an anniversary. A milestone of an anniversary (am I using that right?) that I like to call "our one year together in happiness." That's right, May made it official.... I've been in my current relationship for more than a year now and I'm not even looking for an exit strategy.

Oh yeah, my one year anniversary is with Ricardo, by the way. That's right.... my car.

And no, I'm not in one of those weird "car relationships" like that psycho on My Strange Addiction, but I would be lying if I said I didn't love Ricardo (again, not in the creepy way).

We've been through alot together, he and I, in the short amount of time that we've known each other. And I'd like to think that we've grown with each other and accept one another's flaws. When we first met I was so terrified of driving and there was definitely some give and take (mostly I took and he was patient) getting back in the groove of things.

Now, we're practically two peas in a pod and happy together. Sure, we have our fights and little tufts.... I treat him like a truck (ie: hauling random shit and stuff like that) and he gets back at me by locking me outside while he is RUNNING and I have to have someone with way more street cred and experience than me to break into him, but for the most part, we're in this together.

Here's to a year, little dude. Let's keep going strong! (Like seriously, please keep going strong for YEARS UPON YEARS).

Memorial Day weekend: 2018. The good, the bad, and the sleepy.

I would like to tell y'all that this Memorial Day weekend creeped by and went off without a hitch. I would like to say that getting off work at 1:30 last Friday made all the difference and it feels like I haven't been to work in FOREVER.

I would love to tell you all of that. But I can't.... because that would be a lie.

Y'all, it literally feels like I just walked out of here and I'm not even sure where the last three days went?! I know that there was alot of yard work, waking up early, cleaning, being incredibly hot/sweaty from the heat/humidity, a cookout and general randomness within those days. But, you could've fooled me, because I was so damn busy all of that just kind of runs together and I'm like whaaa???....

I had a masterful plan of not doing anything and ended up doing the exact opposite of that.

I mowed grass on Tuesday so I wouldn't have to do it for awhile.... but ended up mowing it on Saturday. I planned on taking a whole day "off" and not doing anything at all.... and ended up pulling weeds, dealing with the garden/plants/flowers in the front and back of our house, picking up trash, and removing an entire small tree from our fenceline (and it was a bitch).

Honestly, there was just alot happening and I may or may not have pulled a shoulder muscle.... the jury is still out on that one.

Oh, and on Sunday during our annual Memorial Day family cookout (at Aunt Poot & Uncle D's), we were getting ready to leave and I accidentally locked my keys in my RUNNING car. Not only that, but I'm pretty sure that my family reminding me of it is going to be a daily thing for a long while. (Lots of "don't forget to take your keys everywhere when you get out of the car at all times!" happening). Luckily, three guys come over to hang out with my cousin and one of them with a somewhat criminal/shady past got my car unlocked for me and we didn't have to call anyone or break anything! Thanks, dude!

Basically, it was nice to have the time off, but it just seemed like there wasn't enough of it! Then again, there never is.

And now?! Back to the old salt mines for four days. (Side note: I fixed Momma's wheelchair yesterday, so score one for the home team! I had to take one whole side apart to fix the arm, but it's fixed now!! Just call me MacGyver).

World Goth Day is apparently a thing now?! Are we sure about this?!!?!

Y'all, they literally have a day for everything now. There's a "National Grilled Cheese Day" and "International Talk Like a Pirate Day" and are we really doing this? Is this where we're at?

If it is, I'm ok with it, because why in the hell wouldn't we want to have random days to just make us happy by celebrating random shit like "National Kazoo Day" and my personal favorite, "National Hobbit Day."

With all of that being said, apparently May 22 is "World Goth Day" and it's a day to celebrate all things "goth."

Do you like vampires and black and about every single weird stereotype that you can possibly think of (including but not limited to: heavy metal music, black eyeliner, pale skin, and probably chains, but I'm not really 100% on that one?!).

I wasn't what you would consider "goth" at any point in my life. I'm more "redneck" than anything I think, but I have always loved the color black. And yes, it's a color and don't say it isn't because it makes me want to kick you in the face.

My friend B. Davis always likes to say that I like my eyeliner as black as my soul and she's not far from wrong. Sure, I don't wear a whole lot of it now, but that's just pure laziness not a lack of love. Between the ages of 15-22, I didn't leave my house without a shit ton of black eyeliner on. My hair was always a mess and my clothes were "hoboish" at best, but damn did I always have that eyeliner on. Now, I'm simply just too lazy and get hot way too easily to deal with it.

When I was sixteen though, my highschool sweetheart had a thing for black too. Like, a real thing for black. He always wore black from his t-shirts and sweatshirt (the same sweatshirt.... that he always wore even though we lived in hot ass Florida and I almost had a heatstroke every single day) down to his bondage pants (yes, you heard me right) and shoes. Although, I'm pretty sure I remember his socks being white? I could be wrong though.

Anyways, usually people get a bad "rap" (did I use that right?) when they wear clothes like that (because people are a bag of dicks and assume shit that isn't even true), but literally any person that met him would know that his clothes might have been dark and weird, but they certainly didn't match his personality (he was exceptionally sweet) or the rest of him for that matter (he had baby blue eyes and blonde hair), he just liked the color black.

Because again, THAT IS A COLOR.

In honor of "World Goth Day" I shared a "throwback" photo of myself (at sixteen) when I decided to mess around and wear my boyfriend's clothes. Literally everything that I'm wearing in the picture was his (with the exception of the shirt.... it was mine) and clearly we all thought that we were way cooler than we actually were. (And by "we" I mean me, him, my friend Noodle, and her boyfriend).

Twenty-eight year old Katie just couldn't help but to call sixteen year old Katie out.
Oh, this is too hilarious.
Happy World Goth Day, y'all!!

I may very well fall over dead from a variety of possibilities.

Y'all, remember when I mentioned that I had been doing a shit ton of yard work? Yeah well, yesterday may have killed me.

And not to be dramatic or anything (yeah, ok), but I'm pretty sure that this is never gonna end and I may or may not join the Witness Protection Program (ala Joyce and Crabman).

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind doing maintenance yard work (I don't particularly like it, but I don't hate it either), but whoever lived in our house before us was a real asshole when it came to "keeping things up" in the yard department (ie: they didn't).

The house was ok (I'm assuming whoever was selling it probably had to fix a few things when their tenants moved out?), but the yard is (or I guess, was?) a damn disaster zone.

I did our front flower bed when I got home from work yesterday (the big one that I removed bushes from on Sunday) and the side of our house and in the process dug up a ridiculous amount of shit. I actually dug up four wire brushes. FOUR. Who in the hell buys four wire brushes in their entire lifetime let alone within a small amount of time just to bury in a flower bed? Is there some kind of urban legend or superstition that I don't know about?!

Also, I think I may have pulled something in my right shoulder/neck (so.... schneck?!), because it hurts and burns, but it could also be because my entire body is sore and I feel like I've been hit by a truck. A really big one at that. There's also a ton more to do and while I know it has to be done and I want it done, I have absolutely no desire to do any of it. Especially today, because I am tired. And I know that's not an excuse and things "still have to be done even though you're tired" and I'm not the only one that gets tired, I really ain't feeling it today.

My feet are swollen and my body hurts. Basically, I want to go home, put on comfy clothes, drink booze, and watch tv. Will I get to? Probably not. Do I really want to? Hell yes.

Side note: This humidity is killing me and my hair (and I want to chop it ALL off BAD). Tayder understands me.

Why I wear two rings on "that finger" without being married.

I recently got asked on social media if I was "engaged" or "seeing someone special" because in a picture I posted, you could see two rings on "that finger" and people started freaking out. And by people, I mean some of my friends that should've known better (no worries, most (ie: my best ones) did.... they know me far too well to not know why I have those two rings).

I don't wear jewelry. I used to wear quite a bit of it when I was younger (I'm talking three necklaces, two arms full of random bracelets, earrings all the way around- about thirteen piercings in each ear, three to four rings, and a belly button ring AT A TIME AND MINIMUM), but once I started working at the nursing home I took all jewelry off except earrings and belly button ring. Then, I took out the earrings.... and last year I decided it was time to say goodbye to the belly ring (because a belly ring is a young gal's game, and this Katie ain't young no 'mo) and took it out, leaving myself pretty bare.

And that sounds kind of dirty, but I swear isn't.

I'm also pretty adamant about liking the fact that I'm single and have absolutely no desire to be married.... EVER.

When I was around sixteen/seventeen, my high school sweetheart got me a necklace, one of his rings that I wore (that had a giant skull, because we were too cool for our own damn good), and a promise ring (it was beautiful and you couldn't pry it from my cold little pale grubby hands), that I no longer have (the sweetheart or the ring), and other than that, I've never worn a piece of jewelry for a purpose until now.

You see, I wear my jewelry for the same reason that most people do (no, not marriage).... for the sentimental value that it holds.

The "waterfall" ring that I wear was originally my Grammy's. She had worn it for years and gave it to me when I was eighteen years old. We were really close and I'm not sure why she chose this ring (she had a bajillion at one time) or me to give it to, but she did, and I love it for that reason. I'm not a "fancy" kind of girl, so if it wasn't sentimental, I wouldn't wear it. Plain and simple. And even though I've had it since I was eighteen, I never started really wearing it until about two years ago (remember, I couldn't wear rings when I was a CNA), and found my jewelry box while unpacking.

The second ring, I wear behind the "waterfall" ring and it's a cross inside of a heart/flat band. You may think that I wear this ring for religious purposes (I don't), but I actually wear it, because it's my Momma's. She wore this ring throughout the majority of my childhood and probably still would if she could. We found it a few weeks ago when we ran across an old box while going through boxes to get rid of/store things and I've been wearing it ever since (with her blessing/permission). This way, I always have a little piece of both of them with me at all times (because all of the personality traits, sarcasm, and attitude I get from them apparently isn't enough).

And I wear them together on "that" finger for two reasons.... because it only takes up one finger and that's the one they fit.

So.... much.... damn.... yardwork. Can I get a beer or something after this?!

Y'all, it's that time of year when you are forced to come out of your holes and prepare to see the sun and be out in the ridiculous notion of society. Sure, we all complain about the cold all winter long, but aren't we still a little sad when the time comes to see people again?! Especially when there's so much sun and shorts and shit like that involved?!

No?! Just me?! Moving on then.

When we moved into our house back in December, I knew that there was going to be alot of yard work to take care of come warm weather. Sure, we're all prepared for "maintenance" but there were things that were going to have to be done before the "maintenance" portion could set in.

There was trash to clean up, brush to be burned, weeds to be yanked, bushes to be removed, flowers and vegetables to be planted, and I probably could've cut/trimmed the yard even though I just did it on Thursday. (P.s. I didn't do it again.... yet). Also, there's some "refiguring" that's probably going to be done at some point, but I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Or not.... we'll decide then.

Out of all the things that were done yesterday, I'm going to say that I'm probably most happy that those ugly bushes out front are gone. And that's really saying something, because the brush/stone/firewood piles were a giant pain in my ass (and my trunk is a literal mess from hauling shit away). Luckily, Aunt Poot decided to take the brush (and bushes) to her burn pile for me. Score!

It's been a long few weeks.... but I'm good with it. Mostly.

What's been happening lately? Seriously, I've been busy and want to know.

Y'all, it's been a long couple of weeks and I am 157% dragging ass. It probably doesn't help that I'm also trying to fight off some kind of weird head/chest cold and allergies combination, but that is neither here nor there. (It's just that time of year).

I don't even know where to start really, and I'll probably end up stopping even before I get everything out (because as I said: dragging ass), but we all pick up and keep trucking along, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT WE DO.

Momma's had a few appointments lately and I've been taking her since Aunt Poot is currently down from having eye surgery (it was yesterday and she's doing pretty well considering somebody just stuck a laser and knife in her eyeball). We went to the wound clinic last Friday (she hit her foot on her wheelchair a couple of weeks ago and while it looked pretty superficial and I was cleaning it, we still wanted to go to a professional, because better safe than sorry.... learned that lesson the hard way last year) and luckily (knock on wood) the nurse confirmed that it was superficial, but still bandaged everything up and put a compression bandage on to help with the healing.... we go back this Friday for the follow-up appointment. She's been a pretty good sport about the whole thing.

And yesterday she had an appointment at her nephrologists, because she's been holding an excessive amount of fluid and since she has kidney disease, we went there to hopefully figure out what's going on and get her some help, because there's so much fluid that she's miserable. He ordered blood work, we have to schedule an ultrasound to be on the safe side, and he gave her some lasix to help.... her follow-up appointment is at the end of July.

Then there's all of the yard work. The incredibly large amounts of yard work that seem to not diminish no matter how hard I work at it. Luckily, I'm almost done with all major things (everything for the most part is planted, random wood pile is hauled off, almost all of the random cement block pile is gone, and I'm working on the big ass brush pile).... I'm not sure who lived in our house before us, but they couldn't keep a decent yard to save their lives. It's been so damn trashy and alot of work. (Side note: our second storage shed is supposed to be delivered sometime next month and they deliver/install it so silver lining!).

And all of that on top of the usual go to work, clean house, cook dinner, do laundry, and all of the other random thing that we adults have to do and here I am.... sleepy and ready for a Netflix binge (that I probably won't get until maybe next winter).

All in all, I'm good with it.... but a girl can still be ok and tired!

My brother did that shit on purpose. *we'll never stop being six and ten*

Last weekend, I planted my "garden." And I say it like that, because when I say "garden" I mean I only planted a few things, because I didn't actually want to put A WHOLE LOT of effort in. You say kind of lazy, I say I know what I'm gonna do and it ain't that. So, I only planted things that I liked and wanted to deal with.

Which included: six tomato plants (because I apparently need six different varieties of tomatoes?), red cabbage, lettuce, onions, yellow peppers, and herbs (rosemary, english thyme, cilantro, sweet mint, flat leaf parsley, and lavender).

I've never tried to grow herbs, but I figured since I had been gardening pretty much my entire life (vegetables that is, not flowers.... I kill all plants that aren't vegetables), I could at least give it a go. (My entire childhood in Tennessee we had a GIANT garden every single year that fed us throughout the Winter months).

A couple years ago at the house we lived in before the one we have now (you know, after that whole brief "I'm homeless" period after deciding to buy a house instead of rent), my brother was all, "let's have a garden!" And I initially agreed, because he said that he would help me with all of it from start to finish.... like a dumbass, I believed him.

Needless to say, I ended up doing the entire thing from start to finish BY MYSELF (although, he did eat the veggies out of it and complain that "they weren't up to his girlfriends standards"). Seriously, he did NOTHING in the way of helping with ANY OF IT. The next year, he wanted one and I simply said, NO, and when he tried to convince me how much he would help and what his "plans" were, and all of that nonsense, I was like BYE FELICIA. And we didn't have one (because, I didn't do it and he surely wasn't going to).

Besides, he's only at our house two weeks a month (it's a very confusing custody thing or something and don't even ask, because even I don't really know), so he helps with very little. (And yes, I'm allowed to talk all the shit about my brother that I want.... because you didn't have to grow up with the little Damien-reincarnate).

Anyways, so I planted my "little garden" in the flowerbed directly behind my house (because I'd rather have veggies than flowers that need round the clock maintenance.... and again, I kill flowers), because that seemed like the PERFECT place to have one. It has shade, but also gets sun and it was pretty cleared out to begin with.

And it is perfect.... especially since I haven't seen my brother even go near those flower beds. Until Saturday after I planted all of my stuff. I hadn't been done planting for TEN MINUTES before he was walking all up in that flowerbed ("just because") and I had to tell him to get the f*ck out of it before he walked on my plants and he informed me, "I'm not gonna hurt these f*cking plants" and then I had to tell him to get his baby out of the flowerbed and he screamed, "he's not gonna hurt anything in that flowerbed!!" and I had to inform him that he may not, but if he picks up a rock or piece of mulch and sticks it in his mouth, he'll get hurt. I mean, he's got a little throat and he's TRYING TO EAT ROCKS.

I'm pretty sure he thought I was making shit up at that point, but I wasn't trying to be an asshole, I had just literally taken like four things out of that kids mouth that day. He literally puts EVERYTHING in his mouth and I feel like that's a nasty little habit.

The point is, after my brother made this big "I'm not gonna hurt anything, damn you're such a b*tch, Katie" speech, I went out to water my plants later that afternoon and realized that he had not only stepped on, but completely DEMOLISHED my cilantro plant. Like, it looked like he stepped on it, moved his foot around, and then scraped his shoe over it. "Not gonna hurt anything" my ass. This is our childhood all over again, and I can already hear Momma shaking her head at us.

So yeah, I know he did that shit on purpose.... he'll deny it, but he did. And now.... I'm off to plot my revenge.

I think we're basically just skipping Spring.... but maybe not?! Who knows.

Y'all, this weather has been insane for the last few months. While it stayed relatively warm until October, (at least warm by my standards), the weather hasn't been able to decide what it wants to do for the last couple of months.

Sure, we all expect the Winter weather to be insane with a mix of snow, sleet, hail, ice and such (welcome to the Midwest), but it seems like it's been back and forth. Some days have been so cold that you couldn't even feel your face while you were inside of your own house, some were warm and you didn't even need a jacket, and others it felt like we were all gonna drown. Oh, and let's not forget that a few mornings when I went to work (I leave between 5:30-6:00am) it was fifty some degrees and then on my lunch break it was snowing and had dropped thirty degrees.

With that being said, it's been getting a little warmer for a week or so and today it has hit 80.... then again, it's supposed to rain for the rest of the week starting tomorrow, so I guess we'll see. (It's probably gonna be hot as balls for the next eight months).

Either way, I'm glad I got my grass cut yesterday. (No worries, this was before I cut it and it was tall as all holy hell).