Saturday, December 31, 2016

Better late than never.

So.... I took an early lunch on Friday and went and got my driving permit. And yes, I realize that I'm twenty-six and probably should have gotten it years ago, but as that old saying goes, better late than never.

Or, as Blanche Devereaux would say.... better late than pregnant. Definitely both of those things.

There are many reasons that I haven't gotten a permit/license before now. And while I could go into the whole shpeal of it, I won't. Mostly because that's besides the point and no one cares how your irrational fears have held you back in life.


I was incredibly nervous to take the test (which is hilarious considering that is the only test that I've ever been nervous for in my whole life), but I studied, and I passed (and was kind of shocked about it).

I'm trying to conquer the driving thing, no worries, the whole being scared of sharks (but loving shark movies) isn't going anywhere. Momma always says that I never do anything until I'm the one that is ready. People can hound me and poke me and list a million reasons why.... but until I'm ready, it's not going to happen.

She's right, of course.

But the other day I decided, it was time. Just randomly out of the blue, decided. (And with her eye surgery coming up next week, I couldn't have had this epiphany at a more convenient time). I'm not sure why I decided it was time, but that's usually how I make the decisions in my life. I wait until that part of my brain clicks, and then I say- "Ok, let's do this." And do this, I shall.

Am I still afraid of driving? Of course, just because I decided it was time to be able to do it doesn't mean that it isn't still scary to me. It's just that, I'm ready to conquer that fear.... one way or another.

So, wish me luck out there, I'm gonna need it. And also? Maybe keep an extra eye on the road if possible.... you never know when I might come barreling out of nowhere now that I legally can.

Friday, December 30, 2016

My top rated movie picks- 2016.

Y'all it's currently the last Friday of 2016 and tomorrow is the last day of 2016 ALL TOGETHER. I should probably write something inspirational or loving.... but let's be honest, I have a lot on my mind right now (more on that at a later date). So instead, I have decided to write about something that I know and know well (in my own opinion).... movies.

Because my opinion matters (no it doesn't) and I have things to say. Mostly though, it may not even be movies that came out in 2016, but rather, movies that I've just randomly watched (Netflix options, included.).

First things first, do you know how hard it is to remember movies and when exactly you watched them? Age is not doing me or my memory function any favors.... it's a good thing that I document most things on Instagram these days.

Moving on. I watch a lot of tv/movies/documentaries (#noregrets), so when talking about them I have to section them off so I don't get too confused.... don't even get me started on the Amanda Knox documentary. On occasion though, you watch something and by the end you're usually somewhere between "that was great" and "what in the hell was that?!".... you know, like hearing a guy talk about losing his virginity (it was better in the movie.... you are NOT the Graduate).


The Hateful Eight

Synopsis: Wyoming in the 1870s…. a stagecoach is heading towards the town of Red Rock with two passengers onboard. One is John "Hangman" Ruth, a celebrated bounty hunter, the other is Daisy Domergue, his prisoner (who is wanted for murder). Along the way they pick up another bounty hunter, Major Marquis Warren, and Chris Mannix. Due to a blizzard, they are forced to hole up in a store out of town with the occupants of another stagecoach. Suspicions commence and Civil War enmities are reawakened.

My thoughts: The only reason that I had originally intended on watching this one was because of none other than- Walton Goggins. The man is a genius and once you add heavyweights like Kurt Russell and Samuel L. Jackson.... you're in for a treat. Not to mention, you just can't help but to stare at Walton Goggins teeth.... I know that sounds weird, but watch him in anything and you'll understand what I'm saying.

The Shallows

Synopsis: When medical student Nancy is surfing on a secluded beach, shortly after the death of her mother, she finds herself on the feeding ground of a great white shark. Though she is stranded only 200 yards from shore, survival proves to be the ultimate test of wills, requiring all of Nancy's ingenuity, resourcefulness, and fortitude.

My thoughts: I was so worried about Steven in this film. From that synopsis you may be asking yourself "who in the hell is Steven?" and the answer to that is he's the seagull (get it? Steven "Seagull"- haha) that is stranded on the rocks with Nancy. My mother didn't care for this movie, but I really enjoyed it.... watching Blake Lively sew her leg together with a blunt necklace was worth the Redbox rental fee all on its own.

Ghostbusters (the remake)

Synopsis: Two paranormal researchers, join forces with a nuclear engineer, and a subway attendant to fight off a slew of ghosts that have invaded New York City with the assistance of their hunky receptionist. Eventually, they come face-to-face with an evil entity that can control human beings.

My thoughts: I'll just go ahead and say what will get me disowned by half of my cousins (whatever, I've been trying to get rid of some of you for years), I loved this remake. Not only did I love it, but I actually think that it far surpasses the original and I would totally watch it again. To the people who didn't watch it solely based on the fact that it has a female led cast, y'all can suck it, you're missing out. The hilarity of Kate McKinnon and ditz of Chris Hemsworth is priceless.

Me Before You

Synopsis: Adapted from the bestselling novel by Jo Jo Moyes, it tells the story of the unexpected relationship that blossoms between a contented small town Englishwoman and the wealthy, paralyzed Londoner who hires her as his caretaker.

My thoughts: They should have just named this movie "Make Katie cry all of the tears." I haven't cried that hard watching a movie since The Fault in Our Stars.... and I'll completely admit it. I didn't just cry at the end, I cried the entire time. There was a lot of controversy surrounding this film, but I watched it for myself to form my own opinion. And my opinion? Emilia Clarke and Sam Claflin can bring both joy and heartbreak to your life within a few minutes.

Exeter

Synopsis: During a party in an abandoned asylum, teenagers perform an occult ritual that leads to a violent possession. After they become trapped in the building, they try to uncover the asylum's dark past to survive.

My thoughts: I caught this one on Netflix and was completely blown away by its creep factor. Most possession movies are the same, and while I like them, been there/seen that. This one was.... different. Don't get me wrong, you can still call out the "gotcha" moment and it's a bit corny here and there, but when I took Tayder out after the movie was over? I was creeped out and hearing all kinds of weird sounds.

The Debt

Synopsis: The espionage thriller begins in 1997, as shocking news reaches retired Mossad secret agents Rachel and Stefan about their former colleague, David…. all three have been venerated for decades by their country because of the mission that they undertook back in 1965, when the trio tracked down Nazi war criminal, Vogel, in East Berlin. At great risk, and at considerable personal cost, the team's mission was accomplished - or was it? The suspense builds in and across two different time periods, with startling action and surprising revelations.

My thoughts: The fact that they managed to have such an amazing cast not only portray the older agents, but also the same characters at a younger age is truly amazing. How is this movie not a bigger deal? Another one I happened to just "run across" via Netflix, it is an amazing watch and the depth that Sam Worthington and Jessica Chastain reach is epic. Plus, Helen Mirren? YES. There were many twists and turns and even though you know the "ending" at the beginning you're still rooting for a different outcome.

Burying the Ex

Synopsis: It seemed like a great idea when all-around nice guy Max and his beautiful girlfriend, Evelyn moved in together. But when Evelyn turns out to be a controlling, manipulative nightmare, Max knows it's time to call it quits. There's just one problem: he's terrified of breaking up with her. Fate steps in when Evelyn is the victim of a fatal, freak accident, leaving Max single and ready to mingle. Just as Max is thinking about moving on with what could be his dream girl, Olivia, Evelyn has returned from the grave and is determined to get her boyfriend back...even if that means transforming him into one of the undead.

My thoughts: {{First things first, RIP Anton Yelchin. He was one of my favorite young actors and his death is beyond tragic.}}. This movie is hilarious.... not a traditional "zombie" or "possession" movie, but something all on its own. I love the couple of Anton Yelchin and Alexandra Daddario- the fact that Ashley Greene is a psycho and Oliver Cooper is the sidekick makes it all the much better. You can thank Netflix for this one as well, I know I do.

..............

Honorable mentions: Creed, Point Break (the remake), Now You See Me 2, Central Intelligence, Deadpool, Huntsman: Winter's War, London Has Fallen, and A Million Way To Die in the West. I can't wait to see what 2017 holds for my movie madness self.

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Foxy Knoxy.... a Netflix documentary.

I watched the Amanda Knox documentary on Netflix, so clearly, I am an expert in all things criminal justice right now. I am also an expert on this case that was prolonged throughout eight years, ruining numerous lives and I'm only three years younger than Amanda Knox herself, so we all know that means I can jump inside her crazy little mind.... right?!

No?! Fine.

But, I'm still going to talk about the documentary.... At the beginning when describing herself, Amanda says "in Seattle I was cute.... but in Italy I was the beautiful, blonde, American, and I had never been that before." Calm down, girl. You're starting to sound a bit conceded and no one likes that in a person. Just be your normal self.... unless you suck as a person.


I was seventeen when the news stories of "the infamous Amanda "Foxy Knoxy" Knox" were first splattered across every headline that you could ever possibly imagine. You couldn't go anywhere without seeing her name and face. Tabloids, news coverage, you name it, she was there. I followed along with it about as much as I could stomach and then.... years passed.

The case was still ongoing, but was traded in for even bigger media news and what they thought "the people" would want to know. And, Amanda Knox was forgotten for a couple of years.

Until 2013 rolled around and the retrial began. It was like it 2007 all over again and you couldn't go anywhere without seeing "Foxy Knoxy" (a nickname that she had once given herself- via Myspace- and the media ran with). She released a memoir discussing her side of the story and a Lifetime movie was released (in 2011, but blew up again).... because if you don't have a Lifetime movie based on you, do you really even exist?!

I can't imagine the pain that the young lady who's life was taken must feel. There is no way to know that pain without experiencing it, and I hope to never have to endure that.... to them, I send my deepest sympathies and love.

I'm kind of a documentary fiend.... I love them and have my entire life. The deeper I got into this one.... the more I couldn't believe the inconsistencies. Not from just evidence, or stories, or alibis, but.... all of it. It was just truly amazing to me how many people not only dropped the ball, but also contradicted themselves.

People always ask me the same questions after they find out I have watched the documentary/read about the case....

After review, do I think that Amanda Knox is guilty?! I don't know. Who am I to say? Do I think that she knows far more than she lets on and was perhaps involved at some point? Yes. Do I think or know for a fact that she committed the crime? No.... how could I?! The only thing that I can go with is my gut, and frankly, that's my own opinion, not that of a court of law. Do I think her boss, Patrick Lumumba, had anything to do with it?! I think he was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got sucked into the vortex as "collateral damage." Do I think that the man who was convicted and is currently in prison, Rudy Guede, had something to do with it?! Perhaps.... it certainly seems to add up much more than a lot of the theories floating around this case. A breaking and entering gone wrong makes a lot more sense than a "satanic sex triangle." Do I think that Amanda Knox's boyfriend at the time, Raffaele Sollecito, was her accomplice and in on this crime?! No, I don't. I think that he was a young kid who had been blinded by having fallen in love for the first time, and was "collateral damage" just like Lumumba.... I feel bad for him and kind of just want to give him a hug. Do I think that the whole situation could have been handled differently and in a better manner?! Absolutely. Whether that was by the officials, the public, or every single media outlet, I couldn't say. Maybe a little of all of them.

But like I said, that's just my gut feeling.... and that's not worth a whole lot to anybody except me.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Tuesday through Friday and then three more days off.

Christmas was an extremely busy event this year. And, I don't want to sound like I'm complaining (I'M NOT!), I just wanted people to be aware of the busy-ness. (No, that's not even close to a word, but just go with it).

We had our company Christmas party on Friday (and got off at 1:30.... whoop whoop!), Aunt Susi had a Christmas Eve party, and of course.... Christmas itself. It was fun, busy, nice, sweet.... and borderline uneventful.

Which happens to be my absolute favorite part. (And no- that's not me in the below picture, but I like it and it seems to express my current mood, so please just roll with it.).


There was no fighting, fussing, arguing, or knock-down-drag-outs. Which I know sounds more like a UFC fight than a holiday event, but with my family, you can never be too careful.

After we had Christmas dinner (we go down to my Aunt Poot's for holidays) we cleaned up the kitchen and then proceeded to watch John Wayne's- The Cowboys and Stepmom.... because we like variety. And then this conversation happened:

Greg: "Can you believe that Hook is 25 years old?!" Ashley: "I know, it's crazy." Me: "I love that movie." Solae: "So do I, my favorite character is Julio." Me, Greg, and Ashley: "..... who in the f*ck is Julio?!" Solae: "What?!" Me: "Do you mean Rufio?!" Solae: "Yeah, that's it!" And then I proceeded to chant "Rufio-Rufio-Ruf-i-OOOO!!!!" on loop.

Then Momma and I spent the rest of our time watching documentaries (Amanda Knox.... watch it now! More on that later....) and stand-up (#ImBrentMorin) and cleaning our house (if it wasn't for our cool stuff, you would never know that Christmas happened in there.... I took the tree down, and all of the other Christmas paraphernalia got put away until next year.... inside and out). Just the way we like it. 

(And I just stared at my baby tiny Gronk doll that Momma got me.... and it still delights me.).

I hope everyone else is having a wonderful holiday season (it's not over yet!) and that you are getting to spend some much needed time with your loved ones that you hold nearest and dearest to your heart! Stay safe and warm out there, folks!! 

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Blanket scarves are so very warm and I'm in love.

Tomorrow is our company Christmas party. And while I'm all for a little celebration (and some food), I kind of just want to go into hibernation and not be around people.... that's totally understandable.... right?!

Did y'all know that Twisted Sisters has a version of "Oh come, all ye faithful?!" I totally forgot about it and just got reminded via the Christmas radio station that Dani forces me to listen to we listen to at work.

Speaking of Christmas.... it's in three days. Or, two days, because on the third day when you wake up it is Christmas.... however you want to count it. Before that though, we have the previously mentioned company Christmas party (Dani only made me responsible for ordering food.... that reminds me, I have to call about some pizza today), and Aunt Susi/Uncle Roger are having a Christmas eve party at their house. I don't know what all y'all are trying to do, it's almost like you're trying to trick me into "being in the holiday spirit" or some shit like that.


Just call me Grinchy McScroogepants.

It's not that I have a distaste for holidays (I'm in love with Halloween), it's just that, there always seems to be so much pressure associated with it. Maybe this year will be different? The last few years haven't been horrible.... they've been real nice.... but I never "feel" what they say you are supposed to. You know, like on Hallmark Christmas movies. I never have that "feeling."

Nevertheless, I did help bake two different kind of cookies (double chocolate cherry cookies and chewy sugar cookies) and made a buttload of fudge and one batch of old-fashioned hard candy. Therefore, I'm pretty sure that I'm well into this holiday season.... I've totally got this.

We were going to make more cookies, candy, and two different kinds of mints (cream cheese and peppermint patties), but Momma and Aunt Poot did the Christmas boxes yesterday and we had enough, so no more mandatory baking from here on out. Although, I am going to have to make some more of those cookies some day, because I didn't even get to eat any of them!

Yesterday (12/21) was the first day of Winter? Could've fooled me.... you know, since it was -2 on Monday. Stay warm out there, folks!! It's going to be a long Winter.... or not. I don't really know.

Wish me luck on these next couple of days.... I think it's going to be a lot of fun (but I'm still going to want to hibernate through it). Oh, and just think, I get two three-day day weekends in a row coming up. Yay, for me and mine!!

Stay safe out there and have a wonderful holiday season with your loved ones.... Merry Christmas.

Monday, December 19, 2016

What's worse? Being cold? Being pukey? Or, being cold while pukey?!

It was one degree outside when I left for work this morning. ONE.

Now, I know that I get up in the morning and I'm out the door for work by 6:00 am.... and I know that winter mornings are colder than winter afternoons (no sun), but y'all have to agree that no matter if you know that it's coming or not, you're never quite prepared for one degree weather until it hits you.

And trust me, a 4:45 am mini walk with your pup so he can potty while you're wearing pajama pants, house shoes, and a coat definitely hits you. Or, at least it did me.


Luckily, there's very little snow out and ice is at the low end.... for now. Honestly, I hope it stays that way, because while cold doesn't tend to bother me (I'll just wear a sweater), I am not a fan of ice/snow. Last Thursday I was cleaning off our car and managed to hit a patch of ice, fall off the curb, hurt my right knee and bend the three middle fingers on my left hand backwards. Because Grace, I am not.

Remember when I told everybody that I had been sick and was feeling better, but still a bit puny? Well.... I may or may not have spent the day throwing up. Like, a lot. As soon as I got to work this morning I had to open Bonehead's door and started heaving.... and all throughout the day. Honestly though, I don't think that I'm sick. I mean, sure "sick" but not "SICK." Does that make sense? No? Hear me out.

I think that I'm having an acid reflux thing going on (how f*cking old am I getting?) that's making me puke everything that I eat/drink.... and bile.... up. That in turn is making me feel like crap, because I can't get anything to stay on my stomach and we all know how much I love food.

Update: it is now Tuesday and while I still feel a bit cruddy (yeah, that's a word), I am feeling better(ish). I got some over the counter acid reflux medicine (seriously, how old am I?) and since I started religiously over-medicating with them.... I feel better. Better(ish). Can I get a Hallelujah?!

HELLUR-LUJAH.

Friday, December 16, 2016

I want to talk about The Walking Dead.

And not the new season (7). I haven't even begun to get close to that (although I know who got killed in the season premiere, because the entire world was upset about it- me included). I'm talking about seasons one and two. Because I'm a loser and am trying to catch up.... except I can't keep up with Glenn or Daryl because one is quick on his feet and the other is a rounded out badass.... ok, they're both badass, but I digress.

As I've previously mentioned here and here, I am trying to catch up on the series via Netflix.

It's working out real well and I only have one episode of the second season left.... on the last episode, Shane killed a dude (again), tried to cover it up (again), and contemplated/attempted to kill Rick (again). While that was a long time coming, I feel the need to call out some of the other "wtf?!" moments that I have encountered so far (and I'm only two seasons in!).


We'll start with Lori. Ugh, Lori. Look, I get that Shane left Rick in the hospital and told his wife/son that he was dead so that they would agree to going with him so he could protect them, I really get it. While I feel like it would feel shitty, we all know that there was no way he was getting his unconscious /fairly lifeless body out.... not to mention Rick was hooked up to a ventilator/feeding tube (actually, he wasn't, which is completely absurd considering he was in a coma) and IVs. The people "saving" Rick's life literally thought/said he couldn't make it on his own without all of that. Now, I ask you, how was Shane supposed to know he would just wake up out of his coma? He thought without all of that Rick was certain for death....

BUT LORI....

I don't have a problem with the fact that she left the husband that she thought was dead behind, she had a kid to think of.... I don't even have a problem with the fact that she managed to "move on" from Rick (even though it was with his best friend and a little soon.... I guess slim-pickens in the apocalypse). What I have a problem with is the fact that she immediately gets super pissed off when her husband returns (again, refer to the previous, how was Shane supposed to know that he wasn't dead?) and never watches that damn kid of hers. If you're going to "lord" over people, the least you could do is make sure that you're not a giant asshat spewing mistakes and acknowledge that it's the apocalypse.... laundry not getting done, your boyfriend being a psycho, and the fact that you're the absolute worst is not the biggest problem you have. Not getting your face eaten is the biggy (for now).

Glenn + Maggie = YES. (I'm going to be so very sad come season 7).

My favorite part has got to be when Lone Ranger Daryl went out on the hunt for Sophia, fell down a cliff (twice), impaled himself with an arrow, and then pulled said arrow out to kill a walker that was going to eat his face (his pretty, pretty face.... sorry). Then the poor guy had to hallucinate his dead (allegedly) brother while puling himself up the cliff side (twice). Merle: "What's the matter Darlyna?! Can't quite make it?" Daryl: *gets to the top of the cliff and looks around for the hallucination* "Yeah, you better run!!" Cracks me up.

And then, there's Andrea. You know, when I used to switch hit the show, I never liked her. I was tricked into originally liking Shane (the episodes I watched just had Lori being a dick to him, I didn't see all of his asshatness until I watch through.... that dude is a dilhole), but Andrea? Nope. She literally had a gun for all of five minutes and decided that she was the only one that could do anything and went all Rambette. SHE SHOT DARYL.... and then immediately wanted the attention of being sorry. They literally told her not to shoot, she could have accidentally hit one of the other guys that were out there investigating (and were clearly handling it), and somehow everything is always everybody else's fault.

I get that she thought it was Beth's choice on whether or not to kill herself, but she knew how Maggie and Hershel would feel and it could cost their entire group their security/safety and she did it anyway with no forethought or regard.... so much for "protecting the group". Plus, she's been a douche to Dale (RIP) since the very beginning when all he has done is tried to help her (and her sister) and be a true friend. She was an ass and then got emotional when he died. You were a douche, you don't get to cry now.

SPEAKING OF DALE....

Let's just all get it out of the way and admit that it was in fact Carl's fault that Dale died an extremely gruesome and terrible death. Just, hands down, 100% his fault. Well, maybe 98%.... the other 2% can go to his mother for, once again, never watching and/or disciplining that little jerk. But, aside from that it is his fault. I know that you're supposed to be sensitive to kids and their feelings and such.... BUT COME ON. Quit lying, Shane (again), it was most definitely his fault.

And that's all I got (for now). I still have a long ways to go.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

I shouldn't have eaten that sausage dip.

Y'all, I'm just now getting back on my feet from a week ago (and still not very well at it). Wednesday I got up for work and went in perfectly fine.... then 9:00 am hit and all hell broke loose.

I started puking, but after the first time I felt fine and attributed it to getting too dizzy.... and then I puked a second time.... and then a third. Once the third time came and went Danielle demanded that I go home. Not politely asked, but demanded it. She politely asked me if I needed to go home the first two times.... the third she told me to get my ass on somewhere that wouldn't infect her.

So, home I went. Half a day on Wednesday and all of Thursday.


I didn't get up off the couch except to pee without that time frame, either. I just kind of laid there half-ass watching Netflix (TWD) and Lethal Weapon and dozing off.... when I wasn't puking that is. I returned to work on Friday, not feeling all that great, but I hate missing work when I don't have to and it was only one day.... right?! Sure.

I was icky on Friday evening (go figure), but not "horrible" and come Saturday I had a bit more hop in my step and it was our "Annual Girls Get Together" for Christmas. I went, did my thing and had a blast. We did 'Secret Santa', ate a ton of food, exchanged stories, did a few craft (we made air fresheners and hand/whatever warmers that you heat in the microwave out of rice). I started feeling a bit flushed, but nothing ridiculous and once we had our fun (it was three? four? more? hours long) we headed home.

And that's when it hit me. As soon as I walked in the door I had to run to the bathroom to puke.... again.... and this time, it was Dani's delicious sausage dip. You know, delicious when you're eating it, not when you're puking it. And I proceeded to puke the rest of the evening.

I haven't been "sick" since then, but I'm still feeling weak and my stomach could be better.... then again, it could be worse. I think I need to eat a chicken quesadilla to know for sure, but since I don't have one I'll just go ahead and call it. I'm not sure why I still feel cruddy (tired, achy, icky all around), but I do and it bites.... and it's been a week now so COME ON.

On the bright side though, we had a real good time with those hilarious ladies that I'm related to.... well, most of them.... you know who you are party pooper!!

Thursday, December 1, 2016

What in the actual f*ck?! I'm just going to ramble for a minute.... or six.

It's been an odd week. The days seem longer, the evenings seem shorter, and I really just want a giant bowl of nachos from Qdoba.... but I digress. Mostly because I'm in the home stretch until the weekend (having four and a half days off and coming back to work for a full week makes you feel the struggle.... or at least, that's what I'm going with).

This whole having holidays/weekends off thing has spoiled me. For years (I got my first "real job" two months before I turned fifteen.... back when you could hire a child and make them perform menial/degrading jobs for little to no pay.... ah, glory days) I worked every holiday and most weekends. And when I say every holiday, I mean it. I always wanted the gals/dudes that I worked with to have the holidays off with their kids, so I would pick up their shifts. But now, the company that I work for is closed on Government holidays (most of them, at least) and my department isn't open on weekends, so you know.... HUZZAH.

Also, I've come to realize that I'm basically a short/chubby version of Sweet Dee.... and I'm good with it.


I need to buy a lottery ticket. Twenty people just won the jackpot in the county that I used to reside in.... and I opened two packets of starbusts (two per pack) and ended up with three pinks and one red, so you can imagine how serious shit is getting right about now.

I've been meaning to be productive this week.... and to some degree, I have been. I'm caught up at work (mostly.... mostly), the inside of the house is decorated for Christmas (and by "decorated" I mean the tree is up with lights/ornaments on it and the couple of placemats with Santa are set out), the house is also clean, I made chocolate fudge (and have eaten none of it.... I don't even like chocolate fudge #pb4life), and Tayder and I are almost all the way through It's Always Sunny (for the second time) on Netflix.... we have our priorities in check.

I answer social media challenges with sarcasm.... and questions. My friend from back in the day (hi, Amanda!) tagged me on FB for a little "challenge". It's one of those things where they have a list of questions and you have to answer them all. Or, you can be like me and ignore/pretend that you didn't see that you were tagged in a post. You know, dealers choice. Here we go....

Do you have a gf/bf? No, I traded one in for happiness and self worth. Do you have animals? I have a small/furry child. Do you love someone? Sure. Do you annoy people? Absolutely.... I have no doubts on this one. Do you wear makeup? When it's needed (aka, at work otherwise I'm too lazy). Are you mean? I'm sarcastic.... and yes, also mean. Tall of short? Hobbit, party of one. Facebook or Twitter? Netflix. Green or Blue? Depends.... we talking clothes or candy? Cinderella or Belle? Jack Sparrow. Hoodies or Jackets? Is going into public with a blanket wrapped around you appropriate? No? Fine, hoodies. Nike or Adidas? I'M CHEAP AND HATE SHOES.... I prefer my boots, thanks though. Sports or no Sport? If I'm playing, no sports.... if Rob Gronkowski is involved, sports all day, every day.  Burger King or KFC? All the food. Just, all of it. Sweatpants or Shorts? Sweatpants.... they usually have pockets for my candy, flask, and allergy pills.

It's really cold outside (the weather has been wishy-washy) and I think that it's here to stay for awhile. Do you know what that means? More nachos and Netflix.... and I can't say that I'm sad about it (so happy). Winter is for avoiding people, drinking alcohol while using the excuse "it's the holiday season" and hibernating as much as possible.... of course, that's also my goal in life. That, and learning how to bake without directions.... I want to be able to just "eyeball" it.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Tom Cruise and James Franco are my homies. (Except not really at all).

Have y'all seen some of the movies that they have coming out? Furthermore, have you seen the ones that have already been released and people are throwing a fit over? All summer all you heard about was Suicide Squad.... and it may be completely worth the hype, I haven't seen it to know, but that is literally the only thing that people were talking about.

Before that it was all about Captain America: Civil War (CA is my favorite Marvel man, but I haven't seen this.... yet), Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice, and Deadpool (I have watched Deadpool, and yes, I thought that it was funny).... and now? It's all about Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.... which I haven't seen, but have nothing against, because I LOVE Harry Potter, so anything else set in that world will probably be great. Also, Colin Farrell + Johnny Depp = YES.

I really wanted to see The Hateful Eight (and I did), but it was released in theatres towards the end of 2015 and other than that I have seen few films that were actually released in 2016. Especially considering how many I want to see (I'm looking at you, The Legend of Tarzan) and how much tv I watch (#noregrets- you do what you want in your spare time and I'll do what I want).


The ones I have seen are: The Forest (it was alright), Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (it's good, but also the same length as the original P&P, so snuggle in with some nachos and make time for a bathroom break), Deadpool (funny), London Has Fallen (Mike Banning = Badass), The Huntsman: Winter's War (far surpasses the Snow White/Huntsman movie), Me Before You (it was great and I cried like a baby), Now You See Me 2 (Tallahassee and Baby Franco all the way), The Conjuring 2 (ah....), Central Intelligence (some people didn't seem to like this one, but I thought it was hilarious), The Shallows (watching Blake Lively sew her own leg up with a necklace was gruesome as hell), The Purge: Election Year (I was scared that was how the 2016 election was going to turn out), and Ghostbusters (loved it more than the original).

I know that's like twelve movies (one for each month maybe?), but considering how many movies/tv shows that I actually do watch, it's not very many.... it's probably because I can't seem to stop watching repeats of the same show (It's Always Sunny) and movies (LOTR #noregrets).


The problem is I don't really go to the movies very often. In fact, hardly ever.... and I want to be supportive of films and such, but I just don't trust people and in all honesty I prefer to watch it all at my house so I can drink alcohol (even though I have snuck that into the theatre before) and eat nachos (again, I've snuck food in).... plus, that's where my dog and all of my stuff is, so I just prefer it that way.

Maybe I can catch up on a couple since winter is officially upon us (probably not, I'll just watch LOTR and It's Always Sunny more) and there are a few more that aren't out in theatres yet and a couple I'm just waiting on the dvd (Hacksaw Ridge).... and there's always Redbox so maybe I'll watch the others?

Either way, I really want to see Why Him? (James Franco is hilarious- weird- but hilarious and Bryan Cranston can only add to that) and The Mummy.... now, I take a firm stance against trying to redo the 1999 version, because Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz are the only mummy hunters that I usually recognize.... BUT this doesn't look like it's even trying to remake a piece of the 1999 version.... it wants to be its own thing and I totally stand by that. Besides, it looks like it's going to be really good and I'll basically watch anything with Tom Cruise.... add that to my 2017 list (June 09, 2017). Let's be honest though, I'll probably wait for the dvd.... too bad it's not out already to go onto my "hibernation schedule".

Monday, November 21, 2016

I've decided to be one of those people.

Every year (thanks to social media) people list the things that they are thankful for. A few years ago I hit the Instagram/Facebook challenge and listed the things that I was thankful for.... and I got a little bit silly with it.... and serious with it, because I feel like the little things are important. If you take yourself too seriously life gets very stern.... and that's just not me. And it's not the way that we do things around here.

Therefore, I have decided to do it again. Except this time, I'm not going day by day, I'm just going to put it all out there at once and let the chips fall where they may.

There is no way that I could ever list all of the things that I'm thankful for in twenty-four days (you are supposed to list up until Thanksgiving- it falls on the twenty-fourth this year), but I can be random and start out.... because I do what I want. There is no wrong way to do this.... there is no proper way to do this.... there is just the way that you want to do it. Which just so happens to be my favorite way of doing everything. So, I'm just going to throw a few things out there (not twenty- four, because like I said, there is no possible way).... ten things sound good? I'm going with ten.... tenish.


One: first things first.... I am so incredibly thankful for my Momma, my puppy dog- Tayder, my brother, the fact that I have a good job (and some awesome family members that I get to work with), my amazing family of aunts, uncles, and cousins that surround me with love and laughs (you know who you are), and just all of the love and amazing qualities that each of them share with me.... y'all truly make this life worth chugging through. I love you, guys.... and thank you.

And now, to get to the not so "heavy/emotional" part of this little playful list.

Two: my flat iron.... sadly, the flat iron that I have had for twelve years (it was my first and only one- ever) decided to die and throw sparks that caught a bit of my hair on fire. I had to officially retire it (and by retire, I mean I threw that shit in the trash, but not before I took a picture of it to post on Instagram, because clearly, the world needed to know this news); Momma got me a new one.... it's for Christmas, but she gave it to me early, because my hair was.... scary. Three: my Uncle sold one of his houses recently (it was sad to see a little piece of my childhood be cleared out right in front of my eyes) and gave us a tv from said house. Like, a giant ass tv. And I can Netflix/watch Lethal Weapon on that giant ass tv to my little hearts content.

Four: Momma has decided to make a bunch of homemade foods for the holidays.... and I get to assist her in this little endeavor. She has been excited for two months and has landed on a bunch of things for Thanksgiving and for other various events. Come Wednesday evening we will be starting (even though I have already made a couple of things from scratch- like, oatmeal raisin cookies, chocolate chip cookies, no bake cookies, you get the idea) and will be cooking from then until Thanksgiving day.... Five: speaking of Thanksgiving day, did I mention that I have a four day weekend coming up? Yeah, count it Thursday-Sunday. I am so very excited about this.

Six: it has been a hectic couple of weeks (and by weeks, I mean a solid month) a work, and the only thing that seems to keep me going these days are a mixture of sugar and caffeine.... so much sugar and caffeine. It's probably incredibly unhealthy, but it works. Seven: Jake Gyllenhaal.... you didn't really think that I would do a post like this without mentioning my main man, did you? I don't know what it is about him, but the dude can always put a smile on my face. Even his serious/somewhat psychotic roles get me and I can't stop watching. Source Code, much?!

Eight: following the whole "main man" thing up, I feel like I should go on the record by saying that I am most definitely NOT a Patriots fan.... I am however, a giant Rob Gronkowski fan. What?! I shouldn't have to defend it, but in the interest of being out there, I will just say that ever since I seen him on Wahlburgers, I can't let it go. The dude has got some serious something going on. Rawr. Nine: my winter coat. last Friday was seventy-five degrees and sunny.... just a really beautiful day.... and then Saturday came with a vengeance. Winter is officially upon us and I am lucky enough to be warm and cozy thanks to my coat.... the fact that it is camo is just a bonus, really.

Ten: last but certainly not even close to least, thank you SOO much to all of our military service men and women. What you all do is so amazing and appreciated. Never doubt that. There are many doubts in this world, and I know that sometimes things seem bleak.... but know, there are people out there that love, respect, and appreciate every single one of you. Without a doubt, you are heroes.... you put yourselves on the line so that we all may have a chance at a better life.... there are no words that can even begin to describe the thankfulness that I have for you. You're all out there defending our rights and freedoms. Once again, thank you. Thank you, so very much.

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Y'all can keep those crazy baby dreams to yourselves.

I had the craziest dream last night. So crazy that it warrants actually taking the time out of a very hectic (so. very. hectic.) Tuesday to tell you about it. And that is definitely saying something, because saying that we've been incredibly busy at work lately would be sugar coating it.

About that dream; it was the dead of winter and there was ice and snow everywhere. We're talking blizzard weather. We were having some kind of company function (I'm assuming with the time of year it was our Christmas party) and I had to step outside for a minute to get some "fresh air". And that's when I found it.... a BABY.

Side note: How weird is it that I am now setting my dreams at work? Who does that?!


Yes, I found baby outside. And he was like, two or three I guess, but he was wearing a little jacket and sitting outside on the icy ground. WTF?! I immediately picked him up and took him inside and asked my lovely cousin what she thought that I should do.... and all her drunk ass could mutter was- "when did you get a baby?!" So, we called the police.

And when the police came they brought child services along with them. They didn't even talk, but apparently my subconscious mind didn't realize that. Then it was decided that I would agree to take care of the baby until they all "figured out what to do". What kind of authority figures don't know what to do with a lost/found baby?!!

So, I took him home and he became my little guy.... and that's when "they" came for him. And don't ask me who "they" are, because I don't have any clue, but "they" were after him. We had to barricade the doors and windows and fight off the "theys".... and it was INSANE.

I have got to quit eating nachos before bed.... crazy ass dreams.

Finally, the dad of the baby showed up to take him home.... and he was a cop. Yeah, you heard me right. And I talked to him and he was all can I just take my take my kid be on my way? And I was like, no you are the most irresponsible person in the world.... who in the hell just leaves their kid with a complete stranger for days?!! Therefore, I told him that I was keeping the kid and he could just go on somewhere. He fought it for a minute and then I just had to tell him good day and walk away (with the baby).

I SAID GOOD DAY!!

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Is a year and a half too late to congratulate your aunt on her retirement?

I mean, it happened in May 2015.... and I mentioned it here and there, but I don't remember ever formally telling people about it. And, I congratulated her (which really is the most important part.... right?), but I just remembered it and found a picture from her last day at work (we worked together) and I wanted to share it.

So, here it is. A year and a half late. HAPPY RETIREMENT, AUNT SUSI. I love you, and miss you (I can say that now, because I know how I feel about it a year and a half later). It took a long time for me to get into a different lunch routine since I used to spend the majority of my day with you for two years. It's weird and good all at the same time.


It's good, because I literally couldn't be happier for you, and I'm excited for you to get to do all of the things that you've always wanted, but had too many responsibilities tying you down to go.

And remember, technically I'm not at the year and a half mark until the 27th of this month, so give me a little bit of credit.... maybe. Afterall, I embarrassed myself at Duckpin Bowling for you!!

Your party was fun, your pink hard hat still hangs proudly, and even though I get to see you less, the time that we do get to spend together is always awesome. I know that you're patiently waiting for Uncle Roger to retire so that you two can go on your many adventures (and I can't wait for you to get to do that), but like you say, good things come to those whom are patient and wait. Patience is a virtue. And that other thing, be calm and collected.

Even though that saying doesn't describe not one woman in our family.... but that's besides the point.

I hope that you're having the best time that you can be having right now (you're on vacation right this second, but I meant just your whole life in general), that you're letting the road take you where it may (you can go places throughout the week not just the weekend now!), and I hope that you remember that even though I don't get to spend as much time with you, I still love you to pieces and will eat peanut butter with you like it's going out of style.

Here's to you (and no, I'm not squatting in that picture, it's my pants that make me look like that). I love you and no worries, I'll watch all those gross/scary zombie shows so you don't have to. Xoxo.

Friday, October 28, 2016

Bruce Campbell has the best lines.

I got to thinking about my friend, Rachel, a couple of days ago and can't seem to get her off of my mind. It's not a bad thing or anything like that, but I'm pretty sure that it has something to do with the fact that Halloween is a couple of days away.

(Do y'all have any plans for this Halloween weekend? Mine are to chill, watch scary movies, and probably drink a little bit too much.... because yolo). Halloween was always both of our favorites and we watch horror movies year round, so I think of her often when it's this time of year.


Our very favorite movie to watch was The Evil Dead (the original, of course!).... followed closely by Army of Darkness. It's hilarious to me that we didn't watch the Evil Dead 2.... but what can you do? And we watched these movies consistently (we spent the night at her moms every other weekend) for probably three years straight, because she's a fan of the gal Sheryl from the first one ("we're gonna get you") and can do a scarily impressive impression of her. I watched, because I've had a crush on Bruce Campbell for as long as I can remember.

With it being so close to Halloween, and me thinking about Rachel, I thought that I would share some of our favorite lines from Ash Williams from those movies with you guys.

The best of Ash Williams: "Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things, right now: Jack and shit... and Jack left town."   ///   "Gimme some sugar, baby."   ///   Arthur: "Are all men from the future loud-mouthed braggarts?" Ash: "Nope. Just me baby... Just me."   ///   "It's a trick. Get an axe."   ///   "First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow."   ///   "I don't want your book, I don't want your bullshit. Just send me back to my own time, pronto, today. Chop chop!"   ///   "Hail to the king, baby."

Happy Halloween weekend everyone!! (We watched The Purge: Election Year to celebrate this year, and let me just say.... it's all fun and games until you realize that you're secretly scared this years election is gonna turn out that way.).

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

I'll get around to watching all of these shows.... eventually.

It's not that I don't want to watch them (I do), but rather, haven't had the opportunity.

I keep meaning to watch certain shows, but then I'm prevented by not having the right channels, or being at a stand still, or just basically forgetting until I see something about one of them and I'm like- "oh yeah."

However, I am a list maker.... it's a kind of OCD tendency that runs with the women in my family. We're not exactly organized in any part of our lives (like, at all), but we ALL LOVE making and having lists. We don't even care what kinds of lists they are, and we usually have one for every aspect and area of life that you could imagine. And our lists aren't in any order, lord no, but instead sprawled out just like every other area of our lives. And some of mine include tv series to watch and books to read.


The Walking Dead

Synopsis: When Deputy Sheriff Rick Grimes awakens from a coma after being shot, he discovers that his world has been completely turned upside down by a zombie apocalypse. As the flesh-eating undead walk the streets looking for the living (human or animal) to feed on, Rick and his group must constantly be on guard in order to stay alive.

My thoughts: I've been a "hit watcher" when it's come to this show, meaning that I've seen certain episodes all the way through, and know the main plot points (i.e. major character deaths and villains), but have never been what you would call a "consistent watcher." Apparently it's a bad time to start though, because the seventh season premiered last Sunday and people are totally traumatized from the **spoiler alert** fact that Glen Rhee was killed. Am I the only one that's gonna miss Abraham Ford and still likes Daryl Dixon?! Tough crowd.


Breaking Bad

Synopsis: When chemistry teacher Walter White is diagnosed with Stage III cancer and given only two years to live, leaving behind his teenage son, who has cerebral palsy, and his wife, he is determined to ensure that his family will have a secure future. He embarks on a career of drugs and crime, proving to be remarkably proficient in this new world as he begins manufacturing and selling methamphetamine with one of his former students.

My thoughts: Look, if it wasn't for the pure love that I have for Aaron Paul, I might not have ever watched this show. Don't get me wrong, I've watched parts of it (and the entire first season), but just like the Walking Dead, have been a "switch hitter" with this one as well. It's easy to get into (and I only started watching it for Aaron Paul, but learned that there were many more amazing qualities), but ** spoiler alert** watching Jane OD and Jesse spiral? It's a lot for the little heart to take.


The Man in the High Castle

Synopsis: Based on a novel by Phillip Dick, the story reflects a dystopian world based on the idea that the Axis won World War II instead of the Allies with the former United States under Nazi and Japanese control.

My thoughts: Y'all can't honestly tell me that you don't have small obsessions.... or big obsessions. You know, whatever floats your boat and keeps the crap out of your cheerios. Mine happens to be documentaries about WWII/The Holocaust. And it's not because I like seeing/knowing what happened in those horrible times, but it's a major piece of history, and I feel like it's something that needs to be known. As with most things, there's always a "what if" factor and this show explores the "what if the opposite outcome would have been" aspect. As soon as I get Amazon Prime, man.



Vikings

Synopsis: The adventures of Ragnar Lothbrok: the greatest hero of his age. The series tells the saga of Ragnar's band of Viking brothers and his family as he rises to become King of the Viking tribes. As well as being a fearless warrior, Ragnar embodies the Norse traditions of devotion to the gods: legend has it that he was a direct descendant of Odin, the god of war and warriors.

My thoughts: As you can probably tell, I'm a sucker for history. Anyone who has ever read about Norse mythology or Viking legends has undoubtedly heard of Ragnar Lothbrok.... and most likely his first wife (t-total badass, Lagertha), and one of his many sons (Ivar, Bjorn, etc.). This show lets you explore that kind of thing (taking liberties, of course) while still being entertaining. I watched/own the first season (dvd) and plan on following up with the others. Why? Because it's awesome and I haven't even gotten to the seasons with Alexander Ludwig (hello!) yet, that's why.


Outlander

Synopsis: The story of Claire Randall, a married combat nurse from 1945 who is mysteriously swept back in time to 1743, where she is immediately thrown into an unknown world where her life is threatened. When she is forced to marry Jamie Fraser, a chivalrous and romantic young Scottish warrior, a passionate relationship is ignited that tears Claire's heart between two vastly different men in two irreconcilable lives.

My thoughts: I don't have the Starz movie channel (movie channels are hella expensive, amirite?!), but I'm pretty sure that you can buy the dvds (it would be nice if they offered that with TMITHC.... just saying). The show is based off of the book series with the same name by Diana Gabaldon, and I actually own the entire series. My highschool English teacher brought them to my attention (she thought it was something that I would like) , and I've read the first book twice. Besides, Scotsmen, Highland countryside unphased by modern technology, and old world medicine tactics?! SOLD.

Monday, October 24, 2016

Hummin.... uhhh.... what kind of cake?!

Have y'all ever heard of hummingbird cake?

If not, I'm going to go ahead and tell you that it's a whole lot less disgusting than it sounds (i.e. no hummingbirds were injured in the making of this cake).

I was actually pretty young the first time that I had heard of it (it's a widely popular southern dessert), but hadn't ever had the opportunity to try it (and probably wouldn't have depending on my age, because I would've been under the impression that it was bird cake.... no thanks).


Recently I had stumbled upon it (I don't even remember what I was reading that mentioned it), and once I learned what it actually was, I had to give it a try. Afterall, who doesn't want this kind of snack lying around for a chilly/tv watching treat on a weekend (i.e. it pairs great with alcohol)?

The recipe (I just googled "easy hummingbird cake recipes") calls for: yellow or white boxed cake mix (for us lazy folks that like our shit at least 1/2 made already), bananas, maraschino cherries, crushed pineapple, cinnamon, pecans or walnuts, and I'm sure some other stuff that I can't remember at the moment.

(Side note: Some of the best advice that I have ever received came from my cousins husband regarding bananas. He told me, "always banana to mouth, Katie, never mouth to banana." Duly noted.).

And I say that, because the first time that I followed the recipe my cake fell apart, tasted weird, and in all honesty wasn't all that great. The second time that I made it (this past Saturday evening), it was much better. It's traditionally a two-three layer cake.... but I can't accomplish a layered cake to save my life (Duff Goldman, I am not), so I just made a one layer cake, because it's my cake and I could.

In almost all of the "easy cake recipes" that they offer on this, they always say not to get the box cake mix that has pudding in it.... I'm here to tell you that pudding is delicious and it can only help. Pudding haters. The recipe also wasn't very specific on whether or not you make the cake like its box says, or to just go by their recipe.... I followed box directions. Then to it I added, almost a whole jar of chopped maraschino cherries, one can of crushed pineapple, three mashed bananas, one teaspoon of cinnamon, and baked at 350° until the toothpick that I inserted in the center came out clean (around thirty-five to forty minutes.... I think).

And then once it cooled I put cream cheese frosting (that I had mixed chopped walnuts into) on the top of it and it was delicious. It's a really sweet kind of cake, so don't plan on being able to eat a bunch of it at once (if you're a glutton like me), but you should at the very least try it. I shared mine (because I'm just nice like that) and we still have leftovers.... I'm not sad about it.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

If y'all need me, I'll be hiding in my fort.

To say that the last couple of weeks have been hectic would be a vast understatement.

I've talked a bit here and there on the fact that my job is trying out this new trial thing with me, a "promotion" kind of, to see if we can streamline a few things and make life a bit easier for all involved. It's more work for me, but I like to stay busy and it's a bit more money, so I was completely on board.

Dani decided to start me off slow, working on a couple of projects, nothing too large scale, because there is in fact a learning curve. We all knew this going in and were fine with it. And things went pretty great.... for about three days.


And no, I haven't been fired and we haven't changed our minds about it, kind of the opposite actually.

What happened was three days into trying out this new position/experiment a co-worker of ours got taken to the hospital.... and while I'm not comfortable sharing his health stories (they're not mine to tell), I will just leave it at it's going to be quite some time before he gets to come back, if ever, and we are all hoping/praying for his health to improve. The most important thing is that, while I am kind of "venting" I would like it clearly stated that I am not holding this against him or his health in any way. Getting better is our tip-top hope for him.

With that being said, what was left behind in his unexpected absence was a cluster f*ck to say the least. Each one of our workers has a very specific job, with multiple projects that only they deal with.... so when someone has to take over all of those projects at various stages of bid and completion?

ANARCHY. (And not the Sons of, kind).

All at once we had no clue what was done, what needed done, what was/was not scheduled for work, where anything was, or who needed what for 1/3 of the company. The first day (last Thursday) we worked from 6:00 am (the time I always come to work) non-stop until 4:00 pm, including working through lunch while trying to shove pizza down our throats without choking to death/puking on all of our paperwork.

What's that old saying? "Toss your hair up in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap, and handle it." Thank you, Eminem. That's all I have to say, because nothing gets you to want to "handle shit" quite like Marshall Mathers does.... or is that just for me? Either way, that man and caffeine has been my saving grace for the past week.

There is so much stuff everywhere that our office looks like either a bomb went off, a twister went through, or we've decided to build a fort and wait out winter (something that I will in fact be doing at my own house, not here). There are papers everywhere, samples sprawled throughout, and the faintest scent of disdain in the air. Don't even get me started on the post-its (we have Romy and Michele quotes in abundance) that are stuck to every surface imaginable.

And now, it's still a cluster f*ck (and not depleting whatsoever in its cluster f*ckness), but we already know that and while it's a giant pain in the ass and we don't foresee it getting any better (or peoples moods improving at any point), we're trying.... and I've managed to catch onto quite a lot that we all thought would take weeks-months. Nothing says "take that learning curve" kind of like the only other option being to crash and burn.

And while that is still an option, we're kind of too pissed off to let it happen. 

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

My new favorite social media thing.

(Facebook stalking is kind of my jam right now).

I'm not the only person out there that "stalks" people via social media.... right?! I can't be. In fact, I know that there are at least two of us, because Dani's "FB stalking" skills are so on point that I swear she could work for the NSA or something.... but, I digress.... mostly because I don't know if you're even allowed to talk about the NSA without being in it, or even when you are in it, but now I've said it twice and there's no going back.

A little bit ago I wrote a post about a girl that just needed to cut her losses and call it a day with the guy that she's seeing. A lot of people emailed and text to ask if this was actually a clever attempt at asking for help in getting out of my relationship. So, to those people I say, ARE Y'ALL CRAZY?! I clearly know that guy is a douche and therefore could have already made that decision. Also, I'm not in a relationship (unless you count tv, alcohol, and poor decisions).


Just wanted to clear that up. Why? Because I have another story about another girl/her cousin (I should stop, but let's be honest, it's a shit show that you just can't look away from). Seriously, y'all are gonna love this one. Keep in mind that they are NOT married and between them they have six kids.... but don't worry, none with each other.

Her profile: "I didn't want to get off the phone with him last night, he's so perfect!! I miss you so much, babe!! I can't wait to see you and have you hold me in your arms!! I love you!! I love my husband, he's my happy place. I swear, I'm gonna marry you one day!! I don't care what all of these people say, I know that we're going to be together the rest of our lives, and have babies together. My husband, my everything!! I love you, babe!!"

So naturally, I had to click on his name (she tags him in every post) to see what this guy was all about. I couldn't help myself and you know you would've done the exact same thing. What kind of guy inspires this kind of devotion? Surely, he would be the thing of dreams and the answer to prayers.... right?!

His profile: "Single. F*ck bitches, get money."

Yeah, you read that right. As soon as I read this, I busted out laughing. And once Dani asked what was so damn funny, I had to repeat it and she laughed to. And I'm not saying that having your feelings hurt or something like that is funny, because it's not. Having your heart "broken" is everything, but a laughing matter.

..... However, you guys have to give me the whole completely off guard hilarity. It was a real good laugh. (I'm still cracking up). And, don't worry about her too much, she's already moved on and found her next "true love" (lucky for her, it's her sixth one this year). He's a real lucky guy and clearly doesn't know what he's getting into. I would warn him, but he seems about as stable as her.... and you just can't cap that kind of crazy.

Monday, October 10, 2016

Currently- what's new with you?!

I've decided to try another link-up.... this time with Kristen and Gretch.... we'll see how this goes. Am I too late?.... Is this how this thing works?.... Am I doing this right?.... I guess we'll never know, but I'm going to keep rambling in any event.

(Totally unrelated: I had the strangest dream about a friend of mine last night.... a guy friend. And while he would just laugh if I told him about it, I don't find it as hilarious as he would.... that's not true, it's pretty hilarious. Moving on.).

What's New With You

Loving: The fact that Fall weather seems to be sticking around. Have I told y'all that I'm a Fall type of girl?! I totally am. It was cool for a few weeks, then it got back in the 80s (FIYAH!), and now it's back down to 60s-70s. While that's still a little warm for Fall, it's getting closer. Dude, I took out our window a/c's this past weekend.... please don't make me regret it.

Reading: Nothing fun right at the moment. I keep meaning to pick up "Samantha Irby's: Meaty" and read it through (I have the book, just haven't got to get going on it yet), but right now my eyesight isn't loving the idea of tiny words, so the majority of my "reading" is reserved for work. That reminds me.... I have to call the eye doctor.

Thinking about: Momma's eye surgery post op (it's today).... that weird ass dream.... my dog.... how hungry I seem to be at the moment.... candy.... how I should probably get Christmas cards to start sending out soon, but can't seem to let go of Halloween thoughts long enough.... the Gettysburg Address.... that reminds me, I want to watch National Treasure.

Looking forward to: Is Monday too early to look forward to the coming weekend? Look into that and get back to me, will ya?

Watching: Another great thing about Fall? Your favorite shows starting back up for the season. (Although my favorite show starts and runs in the Spring/Summer- I'm looking at you The Night Shift). I watch a few different shows that have started back up for their respective seasons (NCIS: New Orleans, Scorpion, The Big Bang Theory, Chicago P.D.), but we actually decided to try a couple of new shows out that premiered this season (Kevin Can Wait, Designated Survivor, etc.) and I landed on my new Fall favorite.... Lethal Weapon (Watch it, live it, love it). And of course, with it being October.... HORROR movies (and Halloween Wars).... Oh, and very recently (like, literally this past weekend) I've become somewhat obsessed with- Worst Bakers in America. It's just so damn entertaining.

Enjoying: The cooler weather.... the breezy evenings.... all the food that I've been continuously shoving into my face (I have insatiable hunger during cooler weather.... always have).... the fact that wearing moccasins and sweats all day/err day is acceptable again (please, like I ever stopped.... I didn't).

Working on: Learning all the new things that come along with this new "job trial.... thing" that we have going on. I pretty much know the majority of it, but there are a few new things that I don't even have a small clue about. Wish me luck, because if I screw this up.... well, I just really don't want to screw it up.

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Confessions. (A link-up).

Linking up for some confessions (and in the interest of full disclosure, it's my first time.... with Nadine, that is).

-I am taking a half day at work Thursday and the whole day on Friday off, because Momma is having her second eye surgery. I'm a complete worry wart when it comes to her, so I like to be there (and she likes me to be there) for serious things like that.

-Speaking of work, I very recently got a promotion (my bosses words) and I have to admit, I'm pretty happy about it. While it's nothing crazy, I do feel like it has a bit more of a purpose at the company I'm employed at and knowing that we're stepping our game up is always a good thing.


-I cooked ribs for supper last night and realized after they were already going that we were out of bbq sauce. I tried to make some with a googled recipe and failed miserably. Like, crashed and burned.

-Have y'all heard about that movie The Shallows? I totally want to see it as shark movies are in my top three favorite kinds of movies, but.... I'm completely terrified of sharks. I know, it makes absolutely no sense and it's why I want to but also can't bring myself to learn how to deep sea dive.

-I prefer to stay at home and watch tv/eat/drink alcohol with Momma and our dog than to go out and deal with people. (And I'm not even a little bit sorry about it).

-This weather has been completely insane and I think Mother Nature is going through some emotional turmoil right now. It was in the low 60s for a few weeks and this week has been in the 80s. I'm a cold weather type of person.... bring it on. While I don't prefer freezing rain and/or snow, I do enjoy low temperatures. And this weekend is supposed to take us back down!

-I haven't done a link-up in a very long time, but I'm loving the randomness of it. Afterall, nothing says me quite like randomness.... and sarcasm. Definitely randomness and sarcasm.

-The month of Halloween is my absolute favorite. Cheers.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

I'm not actually going to do it.

You guys ever have one of those moments that you think to yourself- "if I wasn't such a puss, I'd totally do that"? I am currently having one of those moments and even though I know I won't be giving into it anytime soon (if ever in my lifetime), it's still a random thought that crosses my mind.

It plagues every woman's mind at one point or another.... or continuously. And that thought?

......... maybe I should just cut my hair.


But, I don't just think "maybe I should cut my hair".... I always take it a step further by thinking "maybe I should cut my hair.... REALLY SHORT." What's the worse that could happen.... right?!

I'll tell you what the worse that could happen is, I could end up looking like some weird combo of Sméagol and Lloyd Christmas, that's what. And if we're totally honest with each other, we would just admit that the chance of that happening are pretty high.


Besides, every time I do cut my hair, I end up hating it. Like, on a whole new horizon of hate. We're talking Ursula the Sea Witch up in here. The last time my hair was long and I cut it shorter, I hated it. Legit hated it. I actually cried once; not because I hated it to the brink of tears, but once I realized I couldn't pull it up into a proper ponytail, the eye water just flowed.

And my hair is WAY longer now and I'm talking about cutting it FAR shorter than it has ever been.

I'm not actually going to do it (one, because I'm fairly certain that I'd hate it, my hair is afterall, down to the far middle of my back right now and two, because you know, Lloyd), but Momma and I were talking the other night and I told her that if I ever cut my hair "short" again, I was just gonna go all out and pixie that shit. She decided that would be the way to do it.

But for now, I'll keep my long hair (I'm still in my twenties and can relatively still "maintain" my mop.... contrary to popular belief and the fact that I regularly look like a hobo), and think about the haircut that could have been.

....And I'll leave this picture as a dare to do it.... and the other as a reminder of why I don't.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

When you feel like friendship is more of an obligation.

People in life come and go, there's absolutely no disputing that. Sometimes it's for the better, sometimes it's because no one had a choice in the matter.

....Other times, it's because only one person had the choice. It really only takes one person to make that decision and instead of holding onto something that kind of just weighs heavy on your mind and soul, isn't it sometimes easier to just let it go? It's not necessarily giving up, but just accepting what the situation actually is.

I've stumbled upon this conclusion quite recently.... about a "friend" of mine. And I say "friend" that way because, I have always considered her a friend, but have come to realize in the last few years that we're not friends anymore. At least not in the way that we used to be. We're "friends" out of feelings of obligation at this point. Honestly, we no longer have anything in common, we hardly ever speak (we haven't actually spoken in a couple of months), and to be one hundred percent truthful.... we don't even really like each other anymore.

And, I know that sounds horrible, and maybe it is, but we've known each other for so long that we've convinced ourselves that we're still friends, but we really haven't been friends in probably.... seven.... eight years? That's a long time to hold onto something that you both know isn't even there.

Sure, we know things about each other, and I wish her the very best, but I don't feel like we should go out of our way to communicate and be in each others lives when neither of us even wants to be. We've been "going through the motions of our friendship" for years, because we've known each other since we were little kids and have been through a lot together.... but it's all been exactly that. Just going through the motions.

I came to this conclusions a couple of months back when she asked me for my honest opinion, I told her what it was, and we haven't spoken since. Why? Because neither of us even likes the other enough to dispute and/or fight for it. I text her one other time to ask about her well being, she never responded, and after thinking on it a bit, I realized that I didn't even care and maybe it's for the best.

And I'm fine with that. Sure, we've had some good times and we're in a ton of each others memories.... but is all of the bullshit really worth trying to keep up with something that hasn't even been true in years? I just don't think that it is. And neither does she. So, we're not enemies, no one is sad, everyone knows what happened.... we're just a couple of people that were friends as kids and someone who is in a few old pictures.

And while that might be a harsh realization.... at least it is in fact real.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

It's rude to make someone feel old at 5:30 am.

(I'm young but, still very aware that I'm not getting any younger).


This morning I realized that the kid I used to babysit (well, I babysat him and his two brothers) graduated from highschool this past year. And his youngest brother (he was a little baby at the time) is now playing junior high football. As with most middle children, I have no effing clue what's going on with the middle brother (Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!!) but, he's still hanging out in there somewhere. Did y'all hear me? One has graduated, the other is in highschool, and the youngest is in junior high taking hits on the field.

WHAT IN THE HELL IS EVEN HAPPENING?!!

I swear, I'm not old yet. I mean, I've technically always been a little ole ninety- two year old man at heart BUT, in all actuality I am only twenty- six. That's young!! It's an adult age (and creeping up on thirty) but still young. Let's just say, I'm not going to be collecting social security anytime soon. But, I do have to say, when I realized that the oldest boy graduated this past year, the first thought that came through my mind was- "Fuuuucccccckkkkkk yyyyooouuuuu, guuuuuuyyyyyyyyyssssssssss." Because, I'm mature and why wouldn't it be?

I kid (mostly) but, watching teens today makes me realize not only how much tolerance I do not possess for teenagers but also, how I was weird as shit when I was a teenager (and how weird as shit I am right now). Not weird in the general description of weird but, weird in my own way. Example:

Sixteen year old girls today: "Girl, I can't go until I fix my hair. I'm either gonna straighten and/or curl it.... I don't know which one yet, maybe both!! I gotta look good for my man."
Me at sixteen: "Whatever, this half-ass, lopsided, ponytail will do. It's only falling down in the back.... and the sides.... and kind of in the front. I don't even care, if dude doesn't like it, he can get somebody else to ride in his damn truck with him."

Twenty- six year old women today: "Being an adult is hard but, I gotta look good. I mean, you never know who you'll run into!!"
Me at twenty- six: "Whatever, this half-ass, lopsided, ponytail will do. It's only falling down in the back.... and the sides.... and kind of in the front. I don't even care, if people don't like it, they can kiss it."

I'm serious, you would think that I was ninety-two, but alas, not even close. I did feel pretty damn old reading about those kids this morning though (remind me to never do that again). But, you know what? I'm good with it. You guys just keep getting older and I'll just keep drinking alcohol, eating nachos, and watching y'all make me old as shit. I'm good with it.