Thursday, December 7, 2017

The amount of pride was overwhelming.... and I may have teared up.

As most people know, this past July things were drastically changed in our lives. While I didn't go into in depth detail, the fact that everything was going to be different moving forward was a given.

There were alot of sleepless nights and anxiety attacks (if I'm being perfectly honest, there still are), but I've always known that my mother was a strong lady. She's shown me her strength my entire life. The fact that she's dealt with my brother for thirty-one years is just a testament to that (because my brother has always been a terror).

These past six months have been hard. And at times.... overwhelming.

From her being sick, to her surgery and readjusting to a different life, to moving in with her sister for two months and then moving into a new home, things have just been.... "on edge" putting.

But no matter what, we have continued to love, and hope, and learn.... and just be there.

And days like today make all of the other stuff fall to the wayside and truly put into perspective the amazing things that you have in your life.

Today.... Momma took the first steps that she's taken in over five months. She doesn't have her prosthetic yet, they're still fitting it and making sure that it's all correct, but they used a "sample" prosthetic to get the dimensions right and he let her walk.

(And yes, I totally took the day off of work to go with her, because I 100% didn't want to miss this moment).

She did amazing and her doctor/prosthetist is so incredible and nice (and brave, because he and his wife have five little girls all under the age of nine!). She was excited and for a minute I thought she was going to try to take off running! I may or may not have teared up a little watching her take those steps.... and I may have taken like fourteen videos of the three minute ordeal, but I assume this is what an enormous amount of pride feels like. And to say that I have pride in her is not even the beginning of it.

It's going to be a long road ahead, as it has been this whole time, but like I always say, we got this.

Monday, December 4, 2017

Moving: a tale of the girl who's LAN cable & curling iron got thrown away.

I've been talking about this whole moving process for around two (two and a half?) months now. Well, Saturday was the big day. Uncle D woke me up at what felt like the unGodliest hour imaginable, but what was really 7:45 am. We all got up, got ready (against our will.... I guess that's what Aunt Poot and I get for drinking two bottles of wine while watching MacGyver and Hawaii Five-0 the night before?), and headed out.

Momma and Poot stayed at the new house (that has wood floors and I never knew how much wood floors made everything echo, but I still love them.... I might actually get to hear in my own house now, because everything is amplified!) to wait for the cable (really internet, but whatever) guy and hang curtains and such and Uncle D, Greg and I headed over to our big storage unit to start moving our stuff.

Oh, and we have a couch now.

My cousin, J, was helping us and said that he would meet us over at the storage unit (we had two, one big one and one small and now we only have one condensed one which I'm good with, because we don't have a lot of storage space at the new house.... yet!), so we waited for him outside the gate. We figured that with Uncle D's truck and trailer and my cousins truck that it would take us about three trips/loads to get everything.... and that's when he pulled up in a 24 foot box truck.

Where did he get it? Well.... he got it from our work. (Did I mention we work at the same place? If not, we do.) My other uncle that runs the place said that we could use it to make the move easier and to say that it made me extremely happy wouldn't even be the half of it! We got it all in one load.... except for about four big pieces of furniture that we wanted moved to our other unit, because we don't have a place for it right now. You have never seen anyone be as happy as I was that even though no matter what moving sucks, but it was easier this time around. And hopefully, I'll never have to move again.

Now we have a million things to unpack and organize, we have to figure out what we want to keep and what we want to get rid of (we got rid of Grammy's chair.... we didn't want to, but it's kind of old and it's been in and out of storage for years and we would never have gotten that smell out of it), and you wouldn't believe the amounts of laundry that we have. We may or may not take it to the laundromat so we can whack it out in one fell swoop.... or I may just start laundry this evening and not stop until it's done. It really just all depends. It would be easier to go to the laundromat, but I kind of just don't want to leave our house since we're in it now. *insert laughter but also seriousness here*

The house is very nice and it's great having our own place again.... so just wish us luck for all of our future endeavors. And a little luck on this whole finding effort to actually unpack and organize everything wouldn't hurt either.

Thursday, November 30, 2017

It's a process.... it's always a process. A throw myself off a cliff process.

I've been talking about this whole us moving thing for awhile now. I've talked about why we were moving out of the house we had been living for two years, and all of the problems there.

I've mentioned how much I hate moving and at one point Momma and I even considered moving back to Tennessee (it was a short little conversation during one of the "f*ck this" moments and we both realized it was a horrible idea and brushed it off).

I try to get through process like this with sarcasm, but the fact that it can all be frustrating is a real thing.

We were only going to be staying with my aunt for about two weeks.... and that turned into two months (and switched aunts houses).

Everytime we seemed to have found something either things didn't pan out or a offer was put in before we could even schedule to look at it.

It just honestly seemed impossible and I kind of wanted to throw myself off of a cliff.... not to be dramatic or anything.

And then we thought we had maybe found a great contender.... but then again, we had thought that before and it had been snatched, so we didn't want to get our hopes up too high. Once the house had been seen, an offer was put in and the inspection had to be done. We knew that whatever we found was going to need some kind of work. And if it was something like paint or flooring, something like that, we were good with it. But if it was a "major" problem, it would be a no-go for us.

We got the inspection back and there were just a few things that we had asked the current owners to fix and then we had to wait on their response.... and wait. And then.... wait some more. It was basically like being in Limbo and it was stressful.

But then again, this entire process/situation has been stressful, so we were pretty used to it at that point.

The current owner's counter-offered and agreed to fix three of the four things that were submitted and the last thing (unattached garage roof needs some work) would be up to us. They've been fixing things for a couple of weeks and now it's time for closing.

We weren't sure how far off the closing would be, since the paperwork takes FOREVER (all paperwork for everything on the planet takes forever.... I do a shit ton of paperwork at my current job, so I know this), so we've just been waiting.

And then the call came in and told us the closing date and time. Y'all, the house will be ours.... tomorrow at 5:00pm. And I for one am pretty damn happy about it. We'll be moving the majority of our stuff this weekend, but will probably have to get the rest of it over a little bit of time, because it's such short notice and some of our family has offered to help us move stuff, but they have lives too and can't just spend all of their time on us. And we're good with that.

So, wish us luck y'all. Hopefully, this house will be the "last" house.... because f*ck moving.

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

My thoughts on the limited series Godless. (Part III).

*Over this past Thanksgiving holiday weekend, Uncle D and I decided to start a new show on Netflix.... Godless.

It's a limited series (seven episodes in total) and he's actually the one that suggested it. I had only got to see little snippets on social media and such, so I wasn't real sure on anything about it, but he had apparently seen a few commercials advertising it and wanted to check it out.

Catch up: Part I, Part II.

We managed to watch the first three episodes on Saturday night and the final four on Sunday evening.... and I would 100% recommend this series to any and everyone.

I know that there are alot of people that don't care for westerns (seriously y'all, what's wrong with you?!), but this is one of those shows that make you like it even if you don't give two hoots about the "framing."

Besides, it has actors like Jeff Daniels, Sam Waterson, Merritt Wever, Thomas Brodie-Sangster, Michelle Dockery, and Jack O'Connell (whom I name last only because he's the newest to me), so you really can't go wrong.

I don't think that I've ever watched Thomas Brodie-Sangster in anything (apparently he's of Game of Thrones fame? and I only watched the first couple of seasons of that), but his way of portraying Whitey Winn made me an instant fan.

And I've been a fan of Jack O'Connell ever since I watched the movie Unbroken and quickly fell in love with the true story that he brought to life. The man is impressive to say the least. The very least, that is, because he is incredible.*

Episode Seven: Homecoming

Official Synopsis: "While the residents of La Belle prepare for Frank's onslaught, Whitey seeks help from an unexpected ally. Roy and Frank come to an understanding."

My thoughts: That newspaper guy (Grigg) is a dick and it's no surprise that the article he wrote to poke at Frank Griffin is ridiculous. I can't believe the ladies all rode out to Alice's ranch to "get Roy" and actually thought that was gonna work out. Like, even if he hadn't been gone (which he was), Alice would've shot y'all in the face. I'm not surprised that Tig Ed Logan and his crew stole all the horses. Douches. But Roy and Sheriff Bill finding them and giving them what for is priceless!! I just knew Frank and his Gang was gonna find Louise's family.... they're all dead, but Whitey is there to save her and her little brother just in time! Three cheers for Whitey Winn! Roy Goode and Sheriff Bill riding back to La Belle is what we needed. And look at those ladies loading up.... they're preparing for war!! WHAT?! WHITEY GETS TAKEN OUT FIRST BY A KNIFE TO THE CHEST?! A F*CKING KNIFE?! RIP Whitey Winn, we didn't know you long enough. This entire show was worth the wait just for this shootout scene! That ole Martha is one mean lady.... and Mary-Agnes and Alice ain't too bad either! About then, Sheriff Bill walks up into the middle of town and this is the equivalent of every single showdown in a Clint Eastwood movie. No one hits the mostly blind Sheriff and he ain't budging.... and in rides Roy! They take a shit ton of the guys out, and watching Alice shoot that guy right before he gets to Roy and Roy acknowledging her as the "saver" is the best. Of course Frank takes off after the fight is over.... and Louise finds Whitey's body. That's right Louise, I'm crying too. I knew Roy was gonna see Truckee again, you can't just leave it at what it was. Frank: "No.... I've seen my death.... this ain't it." Roy: "You seen wrong." Once Truckee catches Roy and Roy tells him to "not let that witch lady light him on fire again" it's time for the "real" western ending. After saying his goodbyes and realizing that Iyovi does in fact love him, he rides off into the sunset leaving behind his money for the woman he loves (as he had buried it under the fence post for her). The preacher finally shows up in time for Whitey's eulogy and I just can't get over Whitey being gone (even though I assumed it would happen early on). And then.... peace.

My favorite part of this episode? The entire exchange between Roy Good and Sheriff Bill. *Roy shoots the second guy in the leg* Random guy: "What did you do that for?!" Roy: "Uh.... because I'm just so damn mean, that's why."

There has been some talk about trying to pick this series up for a second season if fan response is positive enough.... but I'm of the belief that sometimes you need to let shit go. I mean, I loved this show and would watch it again in a heartbeat.... but no matter how much I love it, a second season would just damper the first. I feel like they told the story how they should've and they should just let it be what it is. More would just ruin it.

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

My thoughts on the limited series Godless. (Part II).

*Over this past Thanksgiving holiday weekend, Uncle D and I decided to start a new show on Netflix.... Godless.

It's a limited series (seven episodes in total) and he's actually the one that suggested it. I had only got to see little snippets on social media and such, so I wasn't real sure on anything about it, but he had apparently seen a few commercials advertising it and wanted to check it out.

Catch up: Part I.

We managed to watch the first three episodes on Saturday night and the final four on Sunday evening.... and I would 100% recommend this series to any and everyone.

I know that there are alot of people that don't care for westerns (seriously y'all, what's wrong with you?!), but this is one of those shows that make you like it even if you don't give two hoots about the "framing."

Besides, it has actors like Jeff Daniels, Sam Waterson, Merritt Wever, Thomas Brodie-Sangster, Michelle Dockery, and Jack O'Connell (whom I name last only because he's the newest to me), so you really can't go wrong.

I don't think that I've ever watched Thomas Brodie-Sangster in anything (apparently he's of Game of Thrones fame? and I only watched the first couple of seasons of that), but his way of portraying Whitey Winn made me an instant fan.

And I've been a fan of Jack O'Connell ever since I watched the movie Unbroken and quickly fell in love with the true story that he brought to life. The man is impressive to say the least. The very least, that is, because he is incredible.*

Episode Four: Fathers & Sons

Official Synopsis: "Bill receives some distressing news. Frank takes on a different type of danger. Through a series of of flashbacks, it is revealed that Roy had a brother from whom he was separated at an early age when he left Roy in the care of Sister Lucy. We also learn of Alice's past and how she and Bill first met. Roy, Truckee, and Iyuvi go on a hunting trip."

My thoughts: The episode opens with the morning of the La Belle mining accident and watching tiny little Whitey Winn pulling those dead men up and stumbling up onto one of the pregnant widows is DEVASTATING. It took seven dozen(84) lives.... wow. How is Whitey not more shell shocked from this incident? Sheriff Bill has to go identify Marshal John Cook (Sam Waterston) and once he come to the conclusion that the local law didn't do anything, he is even more driven to find Frank and stop all of this.... especially after he finds out that one of the gang members took the Marshal's badge. I'm not sure what the [point of this whole "sick house" smallpox scene is, but if it's to get me on Team Frank, it's not working. Although I concede that sometimes shitty people do good things, those twins are a terror and need to be shot asap. *flashback* So, that's why Alice has a little tender spot for Sheriff Bill. When she was widowed the first time (after the "flood"), a group of violent Native American beat and try to rape her (cutting her from her neck down to her navel in the process) and she fights back and that's when Sheriff Bill finds her, kills the attackers, and takes her to some nice Native American people that care for her. Roy Goode decides to take Truckee hunting.... and that's when Alice tricks him into taking her mother in law (Iyuni) as well. *flashback* when Roy Goode was a young'en his brother left him to be raised by Sister Lucy Cole. That's where that name on his letter comes from! Whitey is walking along with his girlfriend (Louise) who I guess isn't technically his girlfriend.... but she clearly wouldn't mind since she kisses him. She then requests that he take off his pants because she's "just gonna give him a bath" and they share a cute little moment in the creek UNTIL her daddy finds them and he very clearly does have a problem with Louise seeing Whitey (#hater). He sends Whitey off, whips Louise, and Whitey almost shoots him until Roy happens upon him and saves that day (again). Whitey understand what Roy has just done for him and I hope he remembers that once he finds out Roy's past. I don't know how Sheriff Bill just got out of the situation of Frank and all of his men surrounding him in a river.... but I'm gonna take it, because I feel like Sheriff Bill has alot more to offer.

Episode Five: Shot the Head Off a Snake

Official Synopsis: "Eager to track Frank and his crew, Bill solicits help from the Army. Meanwhile, Alice and Roy hit pay dirt and Whitey shares a secret with Mary Agnes."

My thoughts: Am I the only one that isn't surprised that Frank is the one that taught Roy how to break horses? We've already established that he's a horrible person that has a few good traits. How long did y'all let Roy hang in that tree before you cut him down? Damn. Of course the little traumatized church builder/baby almost got ate by a rattlesnake lady is the one to spill the beans on Roy. She doesn't know who he is, but that asshat writer sure is taking liberties with it. He's definitely gonna make Frank Griffin come into that town. Roy is learning to read at an unbelievable pace and Alice seems to be impressed.... and in awe. Speaking of awe, poor little Whitey is going to see Louise.... but turns back after seeing her from afar. Poor, Whitey. Roy finishes digging that well that I'm pretty sure Alice and Truckee have been digging on for like ten years and he seems at an impasse.... he knows it's time to move on. I love that Mary-Agnes is cutting her girlfriend short and being a dick and her girlfriend just straight up calls her out for it and for being a hypocrite. Get it, Callie!! Is it just me, or is Roy reading long lost/waterlogged mail to Alice for "practice" more romantic than actual grand gestures? Just me? Fine. So.... Roy dug his daddy back up, stole his clothes, and then reburied him? Cool, cool. Alice darlin, I would look sad if Roy said he was leaving me too. I love that Truckee is sassing Tig Ed Logan when they take the horses in.... do they recognize Roy? Uh oh. Roy: "Did you steal that from me." Truckee: "Eh."

My favorite part of the episode? That flashback of Frank watching a little teeny Roy steal his horse right in front of him, letting him ride out of town, and then hollering for his horse to buck Roy off. Priceless.

Episode Six: Dear Roy

Official Synopsis: "Mary-Agnes tries to help the free-spirited MArta escape her past. Grigg ensures Frank stays in the know. Roy struggles with his feelings for Alice."

My thoughts: Y'all, everyone knows that those twins are sociopaths. Roy knows it, I know it, that guy with too many knives knows it.... even Frank knows it. He's willing to overlook the fact that they just murdered their entire family (even the babies!) to have more followers.... Charles Manson much? It's ok Roy, I wouldn't want them in my "family" either. I'm loving this whole Pinkerton Detective/Mary-Agnes/Martha dynamic. So hilarious. Martha ain't scared to shoot a bitch in the leg and then take him in (#originalmadamefromthewayback). Is this preacher ever gonna show up? What are they gonna do once this church is completely built? Roy just beat the shit out of that guy.... and Frank knows Roy is no longer "under his control." Get the hell out of there, Roy!! Truckee isn't having this whole Roy leaving thing. Him throwing that fake gun and storming off is to Roy the way I feel when my dog is mad at me. It's emotional! Damn, Alice. Roy's all crying and upset and you choose this moment to kiss up on him? You go, girl! These two getting together for one night is what I imagine living near an Army base feels like. Never have scars been so sexy. Roy rides off into the horizon, but leaves his letter behind for Alice.... and it's true, his brother wants him to come and find him. Although, I feel like his brother promised to come back so maybe he should be the one to make that long ass trip? These flashbacks throw me off sometimes.... I thought I had missed something and then I realized that it was just showing the ladies of La Belle seeing their husbands off.... for the last time.

Sunday, November 26, 2017

My thoughts on the limited series Godless. (Part I).

*Over this past Thanksgiving holiday weekend, Uncle D and I decided to start a new show on Netflix.... Godless.

It's a limited series (seven episodes in total) and he's actually the one that suggested it. I had only got to see little snippets on social media and such, so I wasn't real sure on anything about it, but he had apparently seen a few commercials advertising it and wanted to check it out.

We managed to watch the first three episodes on Saturday night and the final four on Sunday evening.... and I would 100% recommend this series to any and everyone.

I know that there are alot of people that don't care for westerns (seriously y'all, what's wrong with you?!), but this is one of those shows that make you like it even if you don't give two hoots about the "framing."

Besides, it has actors like Jeff Daniels, Sam Waterson, Merritt Wever, Thomas Brodie-Sangster, Michelle Dockery, and Jack O'Connell (whom I name last only because he's the newest to me), so you really can't go wrong.

I don't think that I've ever watched Thomas Brodie-Sangster in anything (apparently he's of Game of Thrones fame? and I only watched the first couple of seasons of that), but his way of portraying Whitey Winn made me an instant fan.

And I've been a fan of Jack O'Connell ever since I watched the movie Unbroken and quickly fell in love with the true story that he brought to life. The man is impressive to say the least. The very least, that is, because he is incredible.*

Episode One: An Incident at Creede

Official Synopsis: "Roy Goode disrupts a payroll robbery by Frank Griffin's gang, provoking them to lynch all the citizens of Creede. Wounded, Goode flees to La Belle- a town inhabited principally by women after a mining disaster. He takes refuge at Alice Fletcher's ranch."

My thoughts: I love that one of the first things that you see in this show is Roy Goode being shot in the neck by Alice Fletcher and falling off of his horse, because "I told you I was gonna shoot you." And watching Sam Waterston ride up on the town of Creede and looking at everything that Frank Griffin and his gang have done is truly devastating. But what really drives it home for me is how closely Alice watches Roy and sees that there's more to his story (outlaw tuned hero). Not to mention, horse whisperer party of one. Alice's mother-in-law seems to be enjoying this whole "healing Roy with fire" thing a little too much. What kind of name is Truckee? Oh, who cares, that kid is adorable and watching him learn how to read is mesmerizing. HO. LY. SHIT. Did y'all see Roy shoot that coiled up rattlesnake? Y'all can think what you want, but he totally just saved that baby's life. Excuse me for a minute..... what up, Sheriff?! Is that poop in his eyes? No seriously y'all, that doesn't look like mud. So, what I'm gathering so far is: Mary-Agnes is amazing but people think she's too manly since becoming a widow, Frank Griffin is insane and had to have his arm amputated, his gang is a crowd of lunatics, Alice Fletcher was married off when she was seventeen and a "flood" killed her first husband, Roy Goode is the kind of man westerns were made for, and Frank and his gang are "gunning" for Roy, because he "betrayed" them.

Episode Two: The Ladies of La Belle

Official Synopsis: "The women of La Belle agree to deal with a mining company to restart the mine. Bill seeks a dangerous way to prove himself. Frank shares a story with a captive audience as he relentlessly pursues Goode."

My thoughts: Clearly this is going to be one of those shows that build up until the final episode and everything is just going to go down then. Everything is going to be dealt with then.... if it's not dealt with before. What I'm seeing with this mining company coming in on the ladies of La Belle is that Tig Ed Logan is the kind of smarmy gent that you feel terribly uncomfortable around. AND THAT'S THE POINT. Mary-Agnes is clearly trying to have the ladies best interests at heart and take care of them, but those women are TERRIFIED that they don't have men anymore and are practically throwing themselves into this shady ass deal. Sorry Mary-Agnes, you tried. It's moments like these that really drive home for you that there was a time, not so long ago, that women couldn't even fathom how to go on without a man. They were 100% dependent on them and see no other way to go on. It's sad, really. I kind of wish Frank would have killed that newspaper guy, because I'm not on #TeamFrank, but I REALLY don't like that dude. And here we meet Whitey Winn.... the hilarious, good-hearted Deputy that has his Sheriff's back and is fast on the gun (and sarcasm). I love it. How is it that Roy can see that Sheriff Bill is losing his sight and isn't a coward he just legitimately can't see, and all of these townsfolk can't? Like, he's trying his best and all these bitches are just throwing stuff at him. Granted, he's a bit of a dick when he finds out his sister is a lesbian, but I really want to believe it's not coming from a hateful place, but a concerned one. Frank is a sociopath and rapist.... yeah, totally didn't see that coming. But no worries, Sheriff Bill is headed out to track down Frank and he finds a guy that sells him glasses. HE'S BACK, Y'ALL.

My favorite part of the episode? Alice holding Whitey Winn at gunpoint so she can take Roy Goode home with her. Alice: "I wanna take him home with me." Whitey: "Yeah, you and every other woman in town." Roy: "..........." And the she breaks him out, puts Whitey in, and Roy rides behind her back to the ranch. He agrees to help her break her horses if she teaches him to read and I am here for it, people.

Episode Three: Wisdom of the Horse

Official Synopsis: "Bill envisions Roy's fateful stand. A reluctant Truckee learns to ride a horse. Whitey tries his hand at making music, and John spreads the word."

My thoughts: Sheriff Bill reenacting how Roy Goode held off the entire Griffin Gang in that canyon is the kind of thing that you want from a good western. Sure, we want to see the things happen, but we also want our characters to be able to "see it happen" so to say. Sheriff Bill sees how Roy pulled off his "miracle." He shot his horse in the head (out of mercy), leaps behind said horse, uses it as a shield and takes down "seven men in the time it takes to spit.... all dead before they hit the ground." And then, knowing that wounding the leader will force the entire gang to leave, he shoots Frank instead of just killing him. Smart move, Roy. Is it just me or do y'all think that this Native American guy following Sheriff Bill around is a ghost that he conjured up to "get his shadow back" after his wife died in childbirth? While Roy is breaking the horses, the ladies of La Belle come riding up on Alice and want him back. (#dontblameyall) Alice cuts them a hell of a deal and Mary-Agnes takes her up on it.... outdrawing Whitey in the process. Oh, a little follow up with the family that the Griffin Gang tormented.... that lady is all about spilling the beans and wants them dead. You go, girl! Mary-Agnes goes to Whitey later to bring him some food and make sure that he didn't let her outdraw him.... and you get the feeling he kind of did even though she's damn good. Speaking of Whitey, he goes out to the old fort where the black Buffalo Soldiers reside to take violin lessons from a young lady.... but really, he's just there to flirt, because these two are adorable together. Roy accidentally (accidentally?) puts on Alice's dead husband's clothes and his mother is PISSED and starts whooping up on him.... and he totally just takes it. And then teaches Truckee how to ride a horse and conquer his fear, because Roy is amazing, that's why. Sure, they run into smarmy Tig Ed Logan and take a little shit, because Roy is unarmed, but he is teaching this kid valuable life lessons. Can Tig Ed Logan just decide to be the law? Is that how it works? JEFF DANIELS JUST SHOT SAM WATERSTON IN THE FACE.

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

When you start getting gray hair at twenty-seven.

The other day (Sunday maybe?) Aunt Poot looked at the top of my head and informed me that my roots have grown out.... I was forced to tell her that I don't have any dye or anything else in my hair and haven't in a very long time (like, years), so everything that's showing in my hair is in fact just natural.

She took another look and said, "oh my, Katie you're getting gray hair." I think she thought I was going to freak out or be mad, but since I'm very aware that I have some gray hair (and have had it coming in for a long while), I was good with it.

You see, I used to do all kinds of things with my hair. I'm talking dye, bleach, cut, pull, yank, twist.... in fact, it's kind of a miracle that I have any hair left (and that I'm lucky enough that it's healthy).

I never dyed my hair, because I was embarrassed by it. I used to do all kinds of things to it, because it was fun and I was curious to see what I would look like with something different. You know, kind of how some people get piercings or tattoos.... except I wanted to do something that wasn't quite so permanent. So, I went crazy with my hair.

Momma was never one to get all looney-tunes about me changing my hair and I started messing with it when I was around twelve. With dying my hair from twelve until I was in my early twenties, I hadn't seen my natural color in YEARS and kind of forgot what it actually was. (I had no recollection of having kind of strawberry blonde hair, but apparently it was always there underneath the dark dye).

But now my hair won't hold color anymore (it's probably damn tired of trying to keep up) and honestly, I'm pretty much over dying it. I say leave it be and let the chips fall where they may. Alot of the women in my family have started to get gray hair young, most of them in their twenties just like me and I'm good with it. Besides, women are rocking that shit these days.

Aside from getting it cut (did I mention how much I love having my medium/kind of short hair again?), I think my "hair experimenting" days are over.

Side note: I had to have the most ridiculous argument with my cousin over her hair, because I asked her who did hers and she tried to tell me the color that was on her head was all her natural color.... and I had to tell her she was full of shit, because NOBODY is born with burgundy hair. 

*insert exasperated emoji here*

Monday, November 20, 2017

The first day that I've listened to Christmas music on the radio (in 2017).

This morning when I got to work and turned on the radio the station that was set (old school rap channel.... because sometimes you just need a little Biggie and Eminem to get you through the day) it started playing Christmas music. I wasn't necessarily happy about it, because it still doesn't feel like it should be here yet (I swear me and Uncle D just took down Christmas 2016 decorations). However, I left it on, because Dani LOVES Christmas music. She's definitely one of "those" people.

She, of course, was thrilled and I just glared at her from across the room.... that is, until I got back from running some errands on my lunch break and had the office to myself and the radio played my absolute favorite.... Bing Crosby. (While I'm still not "holly jolly" Bing always help at least put me in a good mood).

Why is it not "that time of year" until I hear Bing Crosby? Well, because Bing is dreaming of a White Christmas, dammit. Not too mention that I insist on watching the movie White Christmas at least a few times around this time of year (and I also watch it year round.... and I'm not even sorry about it).

Momma and I have the tradition of watching White Christmas for the first time every holiday season on Thanksgiving night. With us staying with Aunt Poot/Uncle D until our house is ready, I'm not sure how this will work out.... but I'm sure if I asked they would probably be ok with watching it.

I mean, who doesn't like White Christmas? And if you say yourself or someone you know.... don't talk to me, we can't be friends. Seriously, I'm pretty sure we have nothing in common and I'll probably be convinced that you're evil and Satan reincarnate. Not to be dramatic or anything....

White Christmas was released in 1954, so it has existed long before I was thought of (and before Momma was thought of for that matter.... I think maybe Aunt Poot was born in 1954?).  And while I tend to be a bit of a Scrooge (I just never feel the "holly jolly holiday spirit"), there is nothing that beats this movie to me.

And a big part of that is Bing Crosby singing "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" (and of course, Danny Kaye dragging Bing into some of those crazy situations while holding his arm).

So, I guess no matter how insane it is that it's already "that time of year" already, hearing this on the radio does in fact confirm it.... I reckon that means Uncle D and I will be putting up Christmas decorations this Friday (because I officially have a four day weekend coming up and I'm not sad about it). Wish us luck.

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Kendall.... he was the sweetest kid that you could have ever imagined.

As most people know, I worked in a nursing home/rehabilitation facility from my senior year of highschool until I decided to move to Indiana. While there were things that made me crazy while at that job, I wouldn't have traded it for anything.

I had the pleasure of taking care of some of the most amazing people that I've ever come in contact with in my entire life. And not only that, but I also got to know some of the families of these people.... and we all became a second family to one another. Co-workers, residents, friends and family to a point.

It's amazing how close you can get with strangers when you spend hours upon hours and days upon days with them. In the end, they're not strangers anymore and you don't even really know if they were to begin with, because you just know them as someone you love dearly.

One of the lady's that I cared for the longest, became another family to me in our own way. Not only did I spend more hours than I could ever count with her, I also got to know her family very well and spend time with them. In that situation, there are families that show and put forth effort and then sadly, there are ones that do not. She happened to have a very involved family.... particularly her two daughters and grandson.

These are good people. Kind people. They're the kind of people that you think about when you think of a small town and the families that have lived there for generations.

Sure, they have their problems, and they make no excuses for those and are actually very open about them, but no matter the problem, they're the kind of people that you can count on having your back.

I know that they've certainly had mine.

With all of that being said, I must admit that when I heard of her grandson (the son of one of her daughters with whom I had spent alot of time with) passing away last month, I couldn't quite believe it. It was shocking and sad and I'm not even sure that anyone knew what to say or do. How do you comfort an inconsolable mother? Or aunt? Or family? The answer is, you don't.

There is no consoling in a moment like this. There is only you being there when they need you and love. There are also tears, screams, questions, and a plethora of other things, but mostly, there is just confusion. Confusion as to why something like this would happen to such a sweet kid, especially at the young age of nineteen. Confusion as to what you say to his family. Confusion on how there are horrible people in this world and yet, this kid isn't anymore.

What happened or why or how doesn't matter. All there is left to do in a situation like this is to try and move forward and remembering all of the things that made you love them in the first place. It's taken well over a month for me to even wrap my head around it and I'm still not completely sure that I believe it.

But to his family I say:

"I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of Kendall. He was such an amazing kid and I know how much his family loved him. Some of my fondest memories are when I got to take care of his grandmother and befriend his family. And Kendall was a big part of that. My heart goes out to his family."

Thursday, November 16, 2017

My thoughts on the second season of Stranger Things (ST2). (Part III).

*The second season of Stranger Things dropped on Netflix October 19, 2017..... and wow.

And of course, I watched the first six episodes within the first weekend, but had to take an emotional break after that. Just kidding, I watched the first six episodes, but with us staying with my aunt/uncle right now, you kind of can't binge-watch like I usually do, because rude. BUT they're pretty cool, so I can moderately binge-watch and live vicariously through the fictional world.

If you want to know about the first season: How an 80s show in the new millennium blew my mind.

*When terrifying supernatural forces once again begin to affect Hawkins, they realize Will's disappearance was only the beginning. And so, the adventure continues....*

Catch up on the second season: Part I, Part II.

(Season Finale) Episode Nine (Chapter Seventeen): The Lost Brother The Gate

Official Synopsis: "Eleven makes plans to finish what she started while the survivors turn up the heat on the monstrous force that's holding Will hostage."

My thoughts: *while feeling very uncomfortable watching the Billy and Mrs. Wheeler scene*

Ok, so.... I never really understood the whole "Billy Hargrove was supposed to represent Billy Hicks (Rob Lowe's character in St. Elmo's Fire)" theory UNTIL this episode. Seriously, this guy is a total mess, but you can totally see how he's tricking all these people into thinking he's a charming guy. But seriously, go put on some legit clothes and quit flirting with the teenager, Mrs. Wheeler (but also, good for you). We're just gonna let go of the fact that you've told that little psycho where our babies are and that he's in route to go on a murderous/psychotic rampage. This is f*cking Ted's fault.

Eleven walking in LIKE A BOSS and Mike getting to see that all 353 days have not been for naught was well worth all of the shit that has happened so far. I mean, I'm still upset about losing Bob, but this helps with the pain a bit. Of course he's mad at Hopper, and rightfully tells him so, but the whole breakdown/"update" scene was just wonderful. Our little Mike has quite alot of spunk in him and we are here for it! Is it just me, or is Mike crying the same equivalent as every sad thing that you've ever seen ever? Just me then? Ok then.

Aw, the Steve and Nancy scene with Steve accepting that Nancy should be with Jonathan and pretty much telling her so (yeah Steve, we know, we all said it last year) was adorable. That's right, Steve. You may be a shitty boyfriend.... but you're one hell of a babysitter! And just like that, I love Steve Harrison.

Did we really need Will to tell us that we had to close "The Gate." Like, no offense, it was real cool and everything, but we kind of already deduced that, Willie. And of course, it's up to our girl El to close this shit. I agree with Mike, I don't like this shit. I mean, I know it has to be done, but I don't like it!!

So.... Joyce, Jonathan, and Nancy are just gonna burn the demon out of Will all old school like they're re-enacting a scene from Misery? Cool, cool. Damn Winona, you're channeling full Veronica Sawyer in this scene and I LOVE IT.

And there's dickbag Billy showing up to ruin the party. Damn Billy, Steve just got done going full "mom" and telling those little shits that they can't go off on some crazy adventure in the Upside Down tunnels that could lead to their deaths.... how you gonna come up in the Byers house like that?! You know, this sticking up for the kids is admirable and Steve puts up a hell of a fight.... but ultimately he gets his ass handed to him and it's alot less enjoyable watching it happen via Billy in season two than it was via Jonathan in season one. Like, I love Steve at this point, y'all chill. And Max saves the day!! Damn, maybe I was wrong about this girl.... I like her stabbing her brother in the neck with a drug fueled needle and threatening him with Steve's bat style!!!

With Steve pretty well in a coma and therefore out of commission, our original party, plus Max, load Steve up in Billy's car to head into the pumpkin patch and basically straight on into hell. Two questions on this.... how badass is it that they knocked Billy out, stole his car, and that 13 year old Max is driving while the other thirteen year olds give her directions? (Also, does she need a piece of f*cking cardboard to reach the pedals? Same, girl.), And, how in the hell did they get Steve into the car?

Steve waking up in the backseat of this little gruber deathtrap is too fantastic. I love that they've stuck colorful band-aids all over him and remembered to grab a bag of ice for his wounds.

Dustin: "No, don't touch it.... Hey Buddy, you put up a good fight. He kicked your ass, but you put up a good fight." *so much laughter exuding from me* In fact, you know what, this scene is just too good not to share:

Of course they're heading straight for the giant gloomy hole that they had to rescue Hopper from. These kids know what's up. I love that Steve is still all "NO.... NO.... THIS IS NOT HAPPENING" and the kids are like this is totally happening, and he finally just relents and is like fine you little shits, but I'm leading the way!

They're just gonna pour gasoline on everything and Steve is gonna throw a lighter? That's the grand plan? You know what, sounds like a pretty effective plan, do that. Little Dustin saving them all by sweet-talking Dart with nougat is the greatest. And also, when it looks like some of them might die, but Steve saves all of them and even holds Dustin up before thinking of himself? Ok we get it, we all love you now. Mission. Accomplished.

Those monsters are headed right for our girl and our favorite small town/big mouthed sheriff. Dr. Owens is still alive? Hell yeah, you better help out if y'all make it out alive, dude! Hopper is fending off those little monsters like nobody's business. You got his, El.... wow. She closed it and it was pretty damn badass. YES.

Last thoughts: Jane Hopper? YES. ALL OF THE YESES. Just, all of them.

Watching Max get ready with her mom and her brother Billy just straight up not giving her shit is great! I love that Steve is dropping Dustin off at the dance and that Dustin has done his hair in the image of Steve. Plus, his purring and Steve being like no? Ha!! I can't believe those little shithead girls treated Dustin bad and made him cry. Where's Eleven when you need a arm broken? But damn, there comes Nancy Wheeler saving the day and making Dustin happy again! Lucas is getting the girl and Max is going for it.... good for y'all. Even little Will is getting some love. And there's little Mike sitting all alone.... until Eleven comes through that door and this is really the equivalent of an 80s dance and they're all so happy. This is the Snowball Dance that they should have gotten last year!!


Wednesday, November 15, 2017

On this day one year ago.... thanks, FB.

I'm assuming that everyone knows about the app on FB that is entitled "on this day" and let's you relive the hilarity (or atrocious spelling and grammar) from years past, right?!

I find this app both helpful and hilarious for the most part, because it gives you the chance of remembering that you didn't pay close enough attention to your grammar in 2011, and the opportunity to relive some of your most hilarious moments shared with friends and family on social media.

If you're lucky like me, you have some pretty hilarious family and friends and they just kind of roll with your borderline-insane and sarcastic personality. You get each other and you watch most of the same shows/movies and read the same kinds of books and liking the same kinds of music.

And with that comes inside jokes.

The entire point of having "inside jokes" is because while you may seem insane to the rest of the world (and they may even think you're extremely weird), you can always look at that one person that the "joke" is with and they always know what you're thinking.

There just really isn't anything better (just roll with me on this one) than getting to look at someone across the room or make a little comment and only you and the other person "get it." It's both hilarious and fun.

Read the entire post here.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Just chilling here in Limbo totally not about to have a nervous breakdown.

We're still waiting to hear back about the house. While we're hopeful that this is "the one" and that it just might cure all of our current problems (fat chance, but please don't take this little ray of hope away), the fact that you have to wait on things like this is for lack of a better word.... AGONY.

Ok, maybe it's not that dramatic, but I think we can all agree that it still sucks.

When we decided on this moving thing we were hoping that it would take no more than a month to find something and not a whole lot longer to get in.... and that was about two months ago. Which granted isn't an extreme amount of time, but when you're living with someone else, feeling like you're a huge convenience, it feels alot longer.

Not to mention, I think we all have our little habits when we live by ourselves, or with certain people, and you have to be aware and change those things, because you're not in your own home anymore.

And Aunt Poot/Uncle D have made us feel nothing but welcome, but I'm assuming that they would like to have their house back to a two man team, since that's what they're used to. (Although when we move, Poot is gonna have to come down and visit a bunch).

Moving is such a pain in the ass. Once you decide to make a "big move" everything seems insane and if you don't have a great game plan, it all seems a little more stressful than it has to be. Then again, you can also think you've found something that's going to work out great and it turns out to be a shit show.

But then again, most things you do are, so you just know to roll with it at this point.

When we had our inspection last Tuesday, there were just a couple of things that he was concerned about. We knew that the garage roof needed work, and while we put that on the list to find out if the current owners will fix any part of that when we followed up with them, we kind of put it on there as a Hail Mary. With it not being directly attached to the house, it's important, but I think we can get it through the winter and maybe deal with it when things settle a little bit in the summer.

The other two things that he recommended was to have someone come in and take the furnace apart to have it checked thoroughly and to have the drainage checked (apparently the tub and sinks drain slower than he likes and it may just need to be cleaned out by pros?). When they responded to us they were getting quotes from people about the drains and furnace, and now we're just waiting to hear back on all of that.


Thursday, November 9, 2017

My thoughts on the second season of Stranger Things (ST2). (Part II).

*The second season of Stranger Things dropped on Netflix October 19, 2017..... and wow.

And of course, I watched the first six episodes within the first weekend, but had to take an emotional break after that. Just kidding, I watched the first six episodes, but with us staying with my aunt/uncle right now, you kind of can't binge-watch like I usually do, because rude. BUT they're pretty cool, so I can moderately binge-watch and live vicariously through the fictional world.

If you want to know about the first season: How an 80s show in the new millennium blew my mind.

Catch up on the second season: Part I.

*When terrifying supernatural forces once again begin to affect Hawkins, they realize Will's disappearance was only the beginning. And so, the adventure continues....*

Episode Five (Chapter Thirteen) The Storm Dig Dug

Official Synopsis: "Nancy and Jonathan swap conspiracy theories with a new ally as Eleven searches for someone from her past. 'Bob the Brain' tackles a difficult problem."

My thoughts: *first things first, let's just go ahead and get it out of the way right now. I am and forever will be #TeamJonathan BUT I am loving this whole "Mom Steve" dynamic that is happening!!*

Uh, Hopper, ok dude, time to wake up. Hopper.... HOPPER.... SOMEBODY GET TO HOPPER RIGHT DAMN NOW HE CAN'T BREATHE!!!!!!!!! So, Will knows that Hopper is in trouble and kind of knows where he is? But he can't figure it out beyond the Upside Down? How have y'all not realized that the Upside Down is essentially Hawkins, but the scary version of it?! Oh thank God, BOB, TELL THEM. I knew Samwise Bob would figure this out and help find Hopper. Ok, so y'all need to get in the car and go on this f*cking wild goose chase, because Hopper is running out of time. So.... Jonathan and Nancy are going where exactly? And they're just gonna share a hotel room and hold hands and bond like there isn't all of this underlying sexual tension between them? Ok then. Of course, this Murray is all about conspiracies and knows that people are not gonna believe the whole "Barb was killed by a demogorgon in another dimension" bit. It's a little crazy that Nancy and Jonathan hasn't thought about that. So, we blame it on Lab toxins?!.... What kind of "lab toxins" cause slug death exactly? Dustin, you need help, baby. That baby demo ate your cat and I'm pretty sure that it can eat you in two bites. So you get Steve? Steve Harrington? I mean, I definitely don't hate this idea. I want to like Steve, but he was such a dick last season.... and I'm still on Jonathan's side 24/7. But this, this whole funny "Mom Steve" thing? This I could get on board with. Of course he still has "the bat." Holy shit.... El found Terry Ives. And she knows it's her mama and aunt. Whoa, she just straight up delved into her subconscious and I am tripping the hell out over the shit this lady went through!! She was shock therapied out the ass. When are Mike and El gonna get to see each other, dammit?!! Is the girl from that "flashback" the same girl from the beginning of the first episode? OH THANK ALL THAT IS HOLY THEY FOUND HOPPER. Wait, Will is part of the Upside Down and gets hurt when it gets hurt? What. the. f*ck.

*favorite part of this episode* Nancy: "I.... I waited for you." Jonathan: "You.... waited like a month." #OhSnap

Episode Six (Chapter Fourteen) The Pollywog The Spy

Official Synopsis: "Will's connection to the shadowy evil grows stronger, but no one's quite sure how to stop it. Elsewhere, Dustin and Steve forge an unlikely bond."

My thoughts: *Will is still creepy as hell and is looking around all creepy and shit*

How do people not realize that something is wrong with Will just by looking at him?! Like, that boy has some serious serial killer vibes happening right now. How is it that all of these scientists (excluding Owens) are ok with essentially just killing Will even though they don't know for sure that it will kill "the evil" that is the Upside Down? Like, did nobody love you enough when you were kids? Damn, it can't hurt to try something else. Oh no, the virus is spreading? Does that mean that Will isn't Will now? And secondly, if that's the case, should we still be listening and taking advice from him? Who in the hell takes advice from the bad guy? Haha, Murray is essentially every person on #TeamJonathan ever. "we like, Steve, yes.... but we don't love Steve." He is straight up calling them both out and screwing with their heads. Damn Jonathan.... just gonna go right in for the kiss, huh? Yeah, you probably should rethi-..... nevermind you're just gonna go right for it and sleep together. Good choice. Annnddd..... this breakfast conversation is the most hilarious thing ever. (#Murray4Ever). So.... Max is essentially choosing Lucas and Dustin is gonna keep hanging out with Steve, but they're all gonna team up at the junkyard? Cool, cool. Steve.... what are you doing?! Steve.... dammit. There are like ten of those baby demogorgons!! Steve get back in that f*cking bus!! Ok, I'll admit it, Steve's a badass and I am loving this protective big bro/dad/mom Steve. Let's keep him. Oh, look who made it home to the crazy.... I bet that was an awkward car ride. *did we really just sleep together because a stranger confused us?* *yes, but we really wanted to so no harm, no foul* YES, THESE DRAWINGS ARE INSANE!! Told you guys not to listen to possessed Will. And now all those soldiers are dead.... and something is coming into the lab from the Upside Down. RUN.

Episode Seven (Chapter Fifteen) The Secret Cabin The Lost Sister

Official Synopsis: "Psychic visions draw Eleven to a band of violent outcasts and an angry girl with a shadowy past."

My thoughts: *I knew that aunt of hers couldn't be trusted. I mean, she's calling Hopper to help, but damn that man is busy!*

So.... we're not gonna follow up with the guys in the lab and just immediately head to find El's "sister"? Cool, cool. Although El, I would really like to know if Hopper is currently DEMOGORGON MEAT RIGHT ABOUT NOW. I think I like this Kali chick, but I'm not 100% sure of it yet. Sure, I think she looks cool as hell and I love that El feels like she's found somebody, but she seems kind of like a psycho and I just don't know if I can board that crazy train yet. Being able to make people see what you wanted them to see or not to see would be pretty damn cool. Put that in the top four of my superpower wants. Leave her overhauls alone, they're adorable you asshat!! Did they really do eyeliner like that in the 80s? I feel like that's what my eyeliner looks like after I drink WAY too much and wake up four hours later with a hangover. Aw, this whole flashing back through her friendships with the guys and Hopper has me all teary eyed. Don't you kill that guy, El!! I mean, he deserves it, but you'll never forgive yourself. Really Kali?! You gonna bring Brenner into this mess?! Ugh. Aw, Hopper and Mike are in trouble (I could've told you that El!!). That's right you can save them!! Go home, El!! Go home!! "They can't save you." "NO. BUT I CAN SAVE THEM." Get it, girl!! My main squeeze right here heading back to Hawkins. Life is good.... sort of. Why does everybody hate this episode so much? I mean, it's not my favorite either, but it's not horrible.

Episode Eight (Chapter Sixteen) The Brain The Mind Flayer

Official Synopsis: "An unlikely hero steps forward when a deadly development puts the Hawkins Lab on lockdown, trapping Will and several others inside."

My thoughts: *we're back in Hawkins Lab being surrounded by demodogs (demogorgon.... dog.... get it?!)*

I don't want to be "that" person, but.... QUIT STARING AT ALL OF THE DEMONS CLIMBING OUT OF THE HOLE AND RUN LIKE HELL, HOPPER!!! Listen to Mike, he clearly knows more about this than all of y'all, if he says to knock Will out, you need to knock Will the f*ck out! So.... the "thing" can tell where everybody is through Will? Damn, that's messed up. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?! I love how those doctors wait on the elevator like they're not gonna get eaten. (Spoiler alert: they totally get eaten). I know Winona Veronica Joyce is trying to knock Will out, but is it safe to just grab a random sedative without measuring and shove it so violently into a child's arm? Wahtevs, you gotta do what's gotta be done, girl! With the building on lockdown, does that mean it has to be manually reset?! Because of course it does! Bob the Brain is schooling Hopper with the reasons he's going to reset it instead of him and I am here for it. Oh Bob, please don't, just because you're right doesn't mean they won't kill you. What is BASIC? Beginner's All-purpose Symbolic Instruction Code?! What the f*ck?! I'm sitting in 2017 watching a show set in 1984 and I am 100% what in the actual f*ck just like Hopper.

Hopper teaching Bob the Brain how to use a gun and having to knock it away from him is hilarious. Aw Bob, you did it. Hopper's so proud of you.... you saved everyone.... WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BOB?! YOU FORGOT THE GUN!! Bob is gonna die. Dr. Owens is gonna guide Bob while the others get out?! Hell yes. Uh oh.... Bob.... he saved the lives of Joyce, the kids, and Hopper, and he made it out(ish).... Phew.... NOOOO!!!! Yep, Bob died.... and he died bad. #RIPBob We barely knew you. Jonathan is probably gonna feel real guilty for not liking Bob once he finds out he's dead as all hell. He should've never stopped to catch his breath. I love that Steve still has all of these kids under his wing and is protecting them. This feels like Stand By Me.... Of course Dustin thinks he can push the "open gate" button better than anyone else and is convinced that he did it once Bob resets everything. Jonathan is driving the piss out of that car. Dude, no wonder that Billy kid is such a psycho.... his dad is a psycho. Don't get me wrong, I still don't like the asshat, but at least we know where he gets his crazy.

*everyone back at the Byers' house* These kids explaining D&D to the older kids and adults is priceless. Oh Steve, sweetie, no, not like the Germans.... like the Nazis. So, they're gonna trick Will into revealing how to kill this thing and.... now the dogs are coming.

I love how everybody has weapons and Hopper is all "can you use this" with a gun at Jonathan and Nancy's like "f*ck this, I can, gimme the gun." That's right, y'all can rejoice, because ELEVEN IS BACK AND SAVING YOUR ASSES, PEOPLE!!

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

When you're looking for "the one."

So.... I've been fairly vocal about this whole having to find a new house, because the one we were living in really should be condemned (and sadly, the landowners have already tricked someone else into moving in).

In the process of me being very vocal about this, I have also made several jokes to try and make life lighter, because let's be real, it's a very stressful and strenuous thing to deal with.

This whole year has been quite anxiety-ridden, (some not bad, just stressful), and some very life altering things have happened, and it just never seems to lighten up. But, we push through and just keep going, because that's what we do. And at the end of the day, at least we have each other and you just can't put a price tag on that kind of thing. It's indescribable.

It's been quite a process.

The next house that we move into will probably be the house that Momma and I spend the rest of our lives in. Bubba tends to bounce around wherever he wants to and always has, but this will legitimately probably be the last one. Mostly because we're both so damn tired of moving.

We've moved so many damn times in my life, and she moved a million times before that, so we're just damned ole done. It's exhausting and having some stability and something to call "our own" doesn't sound like such a horrible idea.

That's why when the conversation came up about this move, it was decided that we should buy instead of rent. And there were a whole lot of factors in that, and a whole lot of back and forth, but in the end, a mortgage and house insurance made more sense than rent to us. And yes, there are alot of factors that go into home ownership, but there are also a large number of reasons that this makes the most sense.

Furthermore, let's be honest, bitches are raising rent to ridiculous prices and you can't even really afford to make ends meet. Not saying that owning a house will make that easier, because it won't, but when you break it down (or at least, when we broke it down), it seems like this is the most sensible thing to do at this time.

It was brought to my attention that someday I may want to move back to Tennessee, because in my head and heart that's my home, but honestly, I have no desire to move back. Sure, I miss some of my friends and I miss the quiet peacefulness of it, and the country roads, and small towns, but it's not the place that I grew up anymore. And we're all different.

So, for now, we are planning our lives right here. Hopefully it will get smoother from here on out.

We've looked at so many houses in a two month span that honestly they're all starting to look alike and run together and I can't keep most of them straight. But hopefully, God willing and the creeks don't rise, we may have found one. It's even a little bit below the price range we were looking into and if everything checks out and is on the up and up, it'll be the house we close on and move into. Our inspection is today (11/7).

Fingers crossed.

Monday, November 6, 2017

When you decide to cut all of your hair off.

Ok, maybe "all of" your hair is a little dramatic when it comes to me, because I still have a shit ton of hair left.... BUT I did get over a foot of it cut off, so that has to count for something, right?!

See, what happened was I've been talking about getting my hair cut for MONTHS, if not a couple of years. And while I didn't get the dramatic cut that I kept talking about, because I'm a giant puss, I did get quite a bit of it chopped.

How much? Well.... over a foot. And more than four pounds (and I know this, because she weighed it at four pounds and she had already swept some of it up).

Count it. FOUR. POUNDS.

Who would've thought it would be so easy to lose some weight? Just get a pretty big haircut and it apparently does the trick. And it's so hilarious, because I had so much hair chopped off and there's still SO much of it. Usually this is what people look like in the "before" photos when they're going to get a bunch of hair chopped off.

But you know what? It feel better, it's not as hard to brush as it was, I use 3/10 of the shampoo and conditioner that I was using, I have less hair to wrangle and clean up (I shed like a German Shepard), and it just seems generally easier to deal with (which is my favorite part).

And sure, it was cool having really long hair and it made me feel fancy (only in my head, never in everyday life), because society has kind of always grinded the fact that "women should have long hair" into our brains, but this is the length that I always used to wear my hair and I like it.

Next time I go for a trim I might even go shorter.

Sunday, November 5, 2017

When there's leftover candy and you're basically a candy gremlin.

*as I'm filling a small Ziploc bag with leftover Halloween candy and putting it in my purse*

Aunt Poot: "Oh, that's so sweet of you. Are you fixing a bag of candy to take to work and share?"

Me: "....... yes..... that's what I'm doing...... I totally wasn't going to just put this in my purse all for myself."

Aunt Poot: "You're so sweet."

Me: "It's from the candy."

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

He hates it when I dress him up.... Halloween 2017.

Last night was Halloween (yes, it was extremely weird to know that Halloween was on a Tuesday) and this morning I woke up to head into work and it was snowing. I'm not exactly sure how those two facts are related, but in any event, I felt the need to share both, because I'm a giver, that's why.

We had 193 little ghoulies come up for the trick-or-treating and Uncle Darrell decided to start calling me "Big Fist" because apparently some of those kids got very lucky in the sense that I was loading them down with goodies. Joke's on him though, because shit turned out ok for "Stands with a Fist" in the end.

I've had a cold for the last couple of days, so my night was full of sniffles and "low key" fun, but Uncle D and I did manage to last the full two hours (trick-or-treat time was from 6pm to 8pm) and afterwards I choked down some meds, took a shower, and watched Bull (it's a new love for me, but a love none the less) and NCIS: New Orleans (we've been in love since the beginning), so in the end, it's all good.

*If you put aside waking up with charlie horses in my left leg, gagging from round the clock sinus drainage, I can't eat, and the fact that it was snowing and I rolled my eyes at 5:30 this morning.... I know, dramatic.*

But all of this is just to show you Tayder's Halloween costume and to ramble for a minute (or six). Without further ado, I present.... the Taydasauraus.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

When you crush the soul of a child.

Well, not a child, but a teenager. That makes it much better.... right?!

I woke up the morning after Halloween sick (with a seasonal cold) and with a charlie horse in my left leg. Of course, life goes on and the older you get the more dumb things you seem to have to deal with. And then I walked outside to get in my car and head to work.... and it was snowing. Because of course it was. It's all good, we didn't get enormous amounts of snow or anything, moreso just one of those "ugh" moments.

Instead of letting this "ruin my entire life" and being a constant Debbie Downer, I remembered the conversation I had the night before with a teenager and it made me laugh. Sometimes, it's the little things.

*in the final moments of handing out candy with Uncle D on Halloween 2017*

Teenage Boy: "trick or treat. I want candy.... and your soul"

Me: "yeah, you're just getting the candy, I sold my soul YEARS ago"

TB: "then I want your life"

Me: "sweet! you can also have my anxiety, debt, and muscle spasms"

TB: "..... what did you sell your soul for all those years ago, my pretty?!"

Me: "a fifth of whiskey, pack of Newports, bacon cheeseburger, and sweet tea.... the first time"

TB:"....... uh...... yeah, that actually sounds like a pretty sweet deal. Happy Halloween"

Me: "Happy Halloween"

Sunday, October 29, 2017

My thoughts on the second season of Stranger Things (ST2). (Part I).

*The second season of Stranger Things dropped on Netflix October 19, 2017..... and wow.

And of course, I watched the first six episodes within the first weekend, but had to take an emotional break after that. Just kidding, I watched the first six episodes, but with us staying with my aunt/uncle right now, you kind of can't binge-watch like I usually do, because rude. BUT they're pretty cool, so I can moderately binge-watch and live vicariously through the fictional world.

If you want to know about the first season: How an 80s show in the new millennium blew my mind.

*When terrifying supernatural forces once again begin to affect Hawkins, they realize Will's disappearance was only the beginning. And so, the adventure continues....*

Episode One (Chapter Nine): Madmax

Official Synopsis: "As the town preps for Halloween, a high-scoring rival shakes things up in the arcade, and a skeptical Hopper inspects a field of rotting pumpkins. Will keeps experiencing visions and having "episodes."

My thoughts: *October 28, 1984* Umm.... who are these criminals and how are they connected to our kids?! Dude, that chick just caused a visionary rockslide with her mind and she has a "008" on her arm.... WTF?!

I love that all of the kids are collecting coins and trying to keep their high scores at the Arcade. It's also nice to see that no matter how much they went through last year, Mike and Nancy are still asshole siblings to each other. *all the laughing tears* Poor Will, he will forever be having these dumbass visions of the Upside Down. How has this been happening for a year and he isn't insane yet?! Hopper dealing with conspiracy theorist Murray Bauman is what I am here for, people. Ugh, I don't want to be "that person" but all of those rotten pumpkins in that town CANNOT be a coincidence. Annddd..... Nancy and Steve are still together *eye roll* Who's this tool in the muscle car? Oh, come on, you can't give him that hair and expect me to take him seriously. SEAN ASTIN!! I love Sean Astin..... Sean Astin making out with Winona Ryder is strange, but I can deal with it. At least he's trying to spend family time with the Byers' (as kids at school are calling Will "zombie boy" and Jonathan is still pining for Nancy.... and Nancy is staring all longingly at him). Oh.... "MadMax" is that new little girl. Makes sense. Barb's parents are still looking for her? Poor people.... yeah Nancy, I would feel guilty too. I mean, she disappeared, because you just HAADDD to bang Steve. Ok, it wasn't 100% your fault, but I mean, COME ON. How am I liking Steve more than Nancy at this point? Aw, Mike is still breaking my heart. Like, somebody get this kid a puppy or something. Damn, Mike's pining for El just as bad a year later and we can't even get a text back. Of course, shady shit is still happening at Hawkins Lab. HOW DOES THIS TOWN NOT KNOW THIS?!! Hey Hopper, you living in the woods now?! Cool, cool. Wait.... what?! You've adopted El?!!! YYEEESSSS.

Episode Two (Chapter Ten): The Boy Who Came Back to Life: Trick or Treat Freak

Official Synopsis: "After Will sees something terrible on trick-or-treating night, Mike wonders if Eleven is still out there. Nancy wrestles with the truth about Barb."

My thoughts: *flashbacks of Eleven escaping the Upside Down and crying for Mike*

Aww.... El escaped and went back to Mike, but had to run to save herself and him?! And he had to watch her leave not once, but TWICE (once at school, once through the window)? I call bullshit. These kids as the Ghostbusters is everything and more. Too bad I can't convince Dani to dress up for Halloween at work.... we would make awesome Ghostbusters! So, Nancy is still dating Steve, but trying to also be friends with Jonathan whom she's secretly in love with? Girl, I like your follow through, but that shit will crack eventually. *fast forward to Halloween party that Nancy gets wasted at* Huh, that took less time than I expected. Damn, I didn't like Steve last season, but I am feeling for him this season. Like, that was some harsh shit, Nancy. Annddd.... of course Jonathan is there to take her home and tuck her in. THREE CHEERS FOR JONATHAN BYERS. I really hate this Billy kid.... he's too damn creepy even for me. So, the guys are all dressing as the Ghostbusters and El wants to go trick-or-treating as a ghost?! Classic. Damn Hopper, I understand you wanna keep her safe, but that girl wants to go out. Will having another "episode" and Mike comforting him by taking him home and talking about El is too damn sweet. Is it just me or is Mike hating on the new girl trying to inadvertently replace El how we're all feeling right now?! El "visits" Mike in her subconscious?! ALL. THE. TEARS. Dustin.... what's that in your trashcan?!

Episode Three (Chapter Eleven): The Pumpkin Patch: The Pollywog

Official Synopsis: "Dustin adopts a strange new pet, and Eleven grows increasingly impatient. A well-meaning Bob urges Will to stand up to his fears."

My thoughts: *flashback of Hopper finding and taking in a homeless/scared/hungry/cold El*

Let's just all agree that Bob "the Brain" is a small treasure and so much better than Lonnie. I mean, he's not Hopper, but he's Sean Astin and let's just all be thankful. Afterall, you can't really be "true to the 80s" if you don't include Sean Astin somewhere. Bob, sweetie, I know that the whole "facing your fears" thing is legit advice, but knowing these kids, that is HORRIBLE advice. So, let me get this straight.... you choose Steve over Jonathan last season dumbass, and you tell Steve that everything about him and your relationship is bullshit while you're drunk as shit, and then you recruit Jonathan to help you on your mission? All while still claiming to be "with" Steve? Nancy, girl, damn. Dustin, I appreciate you thinking this thing is all cute and giving him a cute name and all, BUT that thing is clearly a slug and probably baby Demogorgon and YOU NEED TO ABORT THIS MISSION NOW. El telekinetically knocking Max off of her skateboard, because she thinks she is flirting with Mike is literally every single one of us in middle school. Except I didn't have telekinetic powers, BUT IF I DID. I love that Winona Joyce has just accepted the insane that is her life and found an image on Mikey's Samwise Gamgee's Bob's camera from Will's vision. I wish I was half as talented at anything as this family is with crayons. *laughing* Of course Dart escaped. Of course Will finds it. Wow.... that whole Will "confronting his fears" thing went even worse than what I thought it would. That seizure is TERRIFYING.

Episode Four (Chapter Twelve): The Palace: Will the Wise

Official Synopsis: "An ailing Will opens up to Joyce- with disturbing results. While Hopper digs for the truth, Eleven unearths a surprising discovery."

My thoughts: *Joyce looking for Will at the school and Mike finding him and him scaring everybody is essentially just their lives now*

What in the Sam Hill is going on in the Upside Down?! It's somehow even more confusing this year than it was last year. What is pouring into Will?! Can somebody get this kid a doctor that isn't a 100% quack-a-doodle?! Of course, El is all teenage angst and Hopper is mad at her for sneaking out. Dude, having teenage angst would have totally been better if you had her powers to back that shit up. You DID NOT pull that shit at my house. Nancy, honey, did you really think that you could call Barb's mom and be all crazy and cryptic and y'all weren't gonna get swarmed with some crazy scientist/conspiracy people?! Jonathan totally seen this coming. Annddd.... now you're kidnapped. Wait, that was y'alls plan all along?! NICE. See, you two definitely make a good team (#jancy). So, Will can just draw some squiggly lines and Hopper automatically knows they're the pumpkin vines?! This. Moments like this are why I love this show so damn much. Max, I get that your brother is a dick (I am seriously over that guy), but you don't understand why the boys are being so cryptic. Don't be so crazy. El is gonna find some shit about Terry Ives and go find her.... told you. Oh hell, Dustin I told you Dart was a baby demogorgon.... RUNNN!!! Of course Hopper is gonna fall into a tunnel to the Upside Down. Because Hopper can't f*cking win.

Friday, October 27, 2017

Las Vegas.

I'm sure some of you are like me and tend to not talk about subjects that make us uncomfortable (in a public forum, at least).

And it's not because I'm ashamed of what I think, and it's not because I'm afraid of how people will react to me and my opinions. I think I am just the type of person that doesn't feel the need to justify herself to satisfy others. 

I think, feel, and do what I think is right and I steer clear of people I think are not good to or for me.

And while I do try to see the best in people and give them the benefit of the doubt (for the most part), there are just some things that I can't seem to understand. I think it's because I can't wrap my head around them and no matter how hard I try, I can't figure out why there are so many bad people doing terrible things out in the world. 

It used to feel like the good outweighed the bad and we were all working on a system to try and get the balance in check as best we could. But now, these days, it doesn't so much feel like we're going forward.... or backwards. It feels like we're standing still, because we have no clue where to go. We're just standing on a precipice staring out into the open with nowhere to go and fire behind us.

So, what do we do? Do we try to climb down the cliff? Do we jump and hope it's not as bad as we think? Or, do we turn around and face the fire knowing that it very well might be our last fight and we might not make it out?

Earlier this month, on the night of October 1, a gunman opened fire on a crowd of concertgoers at the Route 91 Harvest music festival that was taking place on the Las Vegas Strip.

This event left 58 people dead, 546 injured, and countless lives changed forever.

While people were out on the lawn enjoying Jason Aldean's set, dancing and singing and laughing and loving, a 64-year-old man by the name of Stephen Paddock opened fire from the 32nd floor of the Mandalay Bay hotel, from the room that he had been staying in. For about ten minutes he fired hundreds of rifle rounds, and about an hour after the last shot was fired, police found him dead in his room from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.... his motive is unknown.

Unknown. As in, this was the deadliest mass shooting committed by an individual in the history of the United States and no one has any clue why he did what he did. I'm not saying that if he had stated a reason that any of us would understand or that it would be easier, but it almost seems like not knowing is worse than knowing.

I wasn't going to say anything about this, because as I said, I don't tend to talk in a public forum about things like this, but after reading an article on my Yahoo homepage this morning that made me sick at my stomach, I felt like I needed to say something. Not that people will listen, but for myself.

Something like this can bring out the very worst kinds of people. People so vile that you didn't even know they existed outside of movies and books. In almost anything fictional, they always have an "evil" entity (antagonist), that the "hero" (protagonist) has to deal with. And it's like this, because without evil we wouldn't know how truly good some people can be. We root for our heroes and hope that in the end good conquers evil. That's what we've all been made to believe since we were children. The prince saves the princess, the evil queen is destroyed, the hero sacrifices themselves so that people may go on for another day, and at the end of the day everybody gets their happily ever afters.

Except, that's not how real life works. Sometimes there is no happy ending and the bad people win.

We learned these lessons in Oklahoma in 1995Columbine in 1999, New York/ Virginia/ Pennsylvania in 2001Sandy Hook in 2012, Boston in 2013Orlando in 2016, and countless others. We learned that some people are bad and some are evil and sometimes, the "good guys" don't necessarily win. 

Because when it comes to something like this, there really never is a "winner."

And then sometimes, through all of the darkness and the fog, a little ray of hope shines through. Something like this most definitely brings out some of the worst people that you can imagine, but it also brings out some of the very best in people. You hear about people saving strangers, and helping as many around them as they can. You hear about communities coming together to treat, love, help.... and heal.

My heart and the sincerest part of myself goes out to these people and their families. 

"Love one another and help others to rise to the higher levels, simply by pouring out love. Love is infectious, and the greatest healing energy." -Sai Baba