Friday, August 11, 2017

My brother is about to be a dad. (Part III).

Actually, my brother has been a dad (and I've been an aunt, I guess?) for almost six months now, but I started out with this whole "my brother is ABOUT to be a dad" posting and now there's no turning back for me.

Catch up on Part I here and Part II here.

All caught up now?! Good.... because I have some complaining things I would like to talk about when it comes to this whole "having a nephew" thing. And I know people are usually very excited about this whole "having a baby around" thing, but I'm a horrible person and just don't care for it at all.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like this particular baby or don't love him or anything, but.... how do I explain this without sounding like even more of a dick than I already do? I thought having a baby around would be.... more fun, I guess?!

Actually I don't even really know what I mean, because it's hard to explain. Let me start over.... my brother sends me around the clock pictures/videos/facetime calls with Gabby front and center. I mean, I get it, he's proud of his kid and all.

But.... I don't think I need to see EVERYTHING that he does. Why? Because he doesn't really do anything. Afterall, he IS a baby (he'll be six months old on the first of next month) and at this point he only knows like three tricks. Yes, I know he's not a dog, BUT aren't babies supposed to be just a more fragile version of a puppy?!

No?! Oomph, I didn't see that one coming.
Is thinking your nephew is cute NOT enough?!!

The point is, my brother sends me constant videos of Gabby.... and he's always doing the same thing (staring into the video and on occasion making a random burp sound). And then he sends me pictures of every little detail of his life.... and he's always doing the same thing (staring at something and looking really confused). And then he Facetimes me and wants me to stare at Gabby while he does whatever trick my brother and his girlfriend are convinced that he can do.... even though he's ALWAYS doing the same thing (again, staring at someone/something looking super confused and on occasion making a burping sound). And let's not mention the pictures he sends me that have Snapchat filters on them and they freak me the hell out (because I've usually had quite a few drinks by the time I receive them). Every once in awhile you'll get a laugh (or nap) out of him, but that's about it.

I'm not trying to sound like an ass or anything, but most people that know me know that I'm not "huge" on the whole baby thing to begin with.... like, I get that y'all want them and love them, but my anxiety levels and looming sarcasm don't seem to really let me in on the phenomenon that is babies.

I'm going to hell, aren't I?! The answer is yes.... but for so many other reasons other than this. I guess what I'm trying to get at is: Bro, I know you love your kid (and that's great, you're supposed to!), but I don't need to stare at him do nothing. Holler at me when he can start pouring drinks or cleaning toilets.... now that I'll find exciting!!

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Why they gotta do me like that?!

I'm about three weeks into this whole having a legit driver's license thing (yes, we've established that I'm late to the party and blah blah), and FINALLY received my actual license in the mail.

Can y'all believe that they give you a temporary paper one and you have to wait forever and a day for the laminated one?! They used to make that shit (and actual plates) right there and it took a total of like fifteen minutes.

And now I sound old as shit. MOVING ON.

While most people are usually excited when they receive their licenses (I am), I also knew what that nasty little picture on it looked like.... so, I wasn't exceptionally good with it. Does anyone actually look good on their driver's license? You know, besides probably Kate Beckinsale?! Asking for a friend.

What does it look like?! Well, they had to retake my picture about seven times, because their machine was broken and it wouldn't read my image (how ugly do you have to be before even a government issued machine is like "nah, bruh"?) and the girl that was taking my photo and I couldn't stop laughing (and I was blind from (a)not being able to wear my glasses and (b) from having a fluorescent bulb go off in my face eight times).... for those reasons, I knew it was going to be a doozy.

And dude, was I right.

Furthermore, did y'all know that they put your weight on your driver's license?! Rude. I don't need Brenda behind the cash register at the liquor store judging me while I'm buying my whiskey. Seriously, I go in there and she's all "you're in here at least four times a week" and I replied with, "well, so are you, BRENDA" and she made sure to let me know, "well, I work here" and I had to throw back at her, "QUIT BEING SUCH A SNOB, BRENDA." And while that probably has more to do with my slight drinking problem, I'm going with she's judgy, because they put your weight on your license.... because I'm an adult, and it helps (no, it doesn't). It is pretty hilarious to see my "grown up/adult license" say that I'm only five foot though.

Friday, August 4, 2017

The Sprouse twins are all grown up (and I ain't mad about it).

Remember those pesky Sprouse twins? (Let's be honest, they always kicked Jonathan Lipnicki's ass in the little cutie department). Let's talk about them for a minute or two.... or however long, because today is their twenty-fifth birthday.

While I've been #TeamSprouse in general for quite a few years (I'm only 2.5 years old than them, so it's almost like I grew up watching them?), at some point people say you have to "pick a favorite." I don't really think that I can do that (and why would I want to?).... but I'll talk about them either way.

What have they been up to lately? You know, besides cracking me up with Twitter Feuds (and I don't even know anything about Twitter- Cole here, Dylan here) and acknowledging that Dylan is, in fact, fifteen minutes older than Cole (and I love how often he throws it up, because I have a guy friend that I'm exactly ten days older than and I have loved giving him shit about it our entire lives and it literally never gets old.... to me. He would probably like to smack me by now *twenty years later*).

If you've been around here for a minute or two, then you already know that Cole has been playing my favorite character- Jughead- on the ever popular/my new favorite show- Riverdale. Other than acting in this show (and owning it) he's a genuinely impressive photographer. If you don't believe me, go check out his photos on his Instagram page and see for yourself. Social media has come a long way in the last few years and people are using it to not only debut their work, but to build a steady fanbase for said work. And if you're not a fan of his acting you're wrong you might just become a fan of his skills with the lense. If neither of those tickle your fancy you're wrong you're more than welcome to check out his modeling.... photos of him tend to have some kind of old school/rebel without a cause vibe to them.... somewhere between James Dean, Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker, and 90s Leo DiCaprio. And that is nothing but a good thing.

While they both took time off from acting to attend NYU (impressive, much?), Dylan took a little longer to return to the field of acting than his brother did. He even took up working as a host in a restaurant, and while some people condemned him for it and couldn't quit spreading rumors that he had "lost all of his money" and was working in a "deeming service industry position"(why in the hell would someone do that?), he took it all in stride, saying: "To clear up the air (which is admittedly pretty rude), I did not take this job because I 'lost all my money', I am financially secure, and took this job as a way to primarily feed my over bountiful video game addiction…. I feel most comfortable when I'm working and doing something, to criticize someone of that is pretty odd. I will potentially return to acting someday, but in no way do I think any experience is a step down for me, but rather a new step in another direction."

Side note: I had to Google these guys, because I felt kind of weird about having as crush on the kids from the movie- Big Daddy. Luckily, I learned that they're only about 2.5 years younger than me.... so, now I only feel mildly strange and like a predator. (Buzzfeed tried to make me feel better about it).

Back in 2013, some photos of Dylan were "leaked" (also, we're using this whole term "leaked" too loosely these days).... by an ex-girlfriend.... and it was said to have ruined his "Disney image." Ruined his "Disney image?" Y'all do realize that one of this/these guys' first roles was as an orphan that named himself Frankenstein, swallows his own spit (after first seeing how far he can let it stretch out), "screws over" Microsoft, and trips people with sticks.... right?! Calm down, people don't stay ten forever. Besides, if it was a female whose ex-boyfriend "leaked" the photos, people would say that she is a "victim" but because he's a dude he's not? Bullshit. (Although, watching his brothers reaction to it is hilarious and I'm glad they can joke about in the long run). And no, I'm not trying to get into an argument about the whole men/women/victim/anything like that argument right now.... another day, perhaps.

Nothing needs to be said more than- Twitter Feuds.

While I love Cole (and Juggie!) and his engaging photography, the fact that Dylan is opening a meadery in Brooklyn and could literally make enough alcohol to get me consistently drunk for however long my little heart desires (as the youngest Brew Master in the US) is pretty impressive.

So.... can I just hang out with both of them and be lifelong friends?!

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Yeah, if y'all could go ahead and just release the second season of Stranger Things.... that would be great.

Back in August 2016 I watched that show- Stranger Things. And by "watched" I mean, I binge-watched the shit out of that show and was immediately sad that there weren't more episodes. Like, how y'all (The Duffer Brothers/Netflix) gonna do that to a girl?! Can't you just release it earlier like- SURPRISE?!!


Thankfully, they are bringing out another season.... BUT it doesn't release until the Friday before Halloween of this year (10/27). Guess what this chick will be doing the weekend before Halloween?! That's right, I'll be streaming (which really isn't all that different from any other of my weekends.... moving on). Besides, Halloween is on a Tuesday this year and that's just dumb.

With the first trailer officially released, there are many questions that we all (mainly just me though) need answered as quickly as possible. As in, give us the second season RIGHT NOW, DAMMIT. (Also, I'm still SUPER psyched that it's all good to Winona again.... even though I never stopped #womancrushwednesday). I've decided to rewatch the first season again to make sure that I'm all "caught up" and not forgetting anything for when the second season comes out!!

Can y'all believe that Danielle had to practically yank my hair out to get me to watch this show in the first place?! It's not that I had anything against it, but I usually just try to avoid shows that people are 100% gung-ho about.... ie, Once Upon A Time, Grey's Anatomy, Game of Thrones, etc. But once I watched the first episode.... there was no turning back.

About those questions that I need answered going into the second season:

1. So.... Hopper 100% left those Eggos' in that box in the woods at the end of season one, but.... why does Hopper know she's out there?, is she actually out there?, and what kind of shit is he getting into with these bad scientist bitches? Like, is he doing it to protect the town?, is he doing it to try to bring his daughter back?, and what exactly is it that he is doing? Because I keep asking if he's doing "it" for various reasons, but I don't seem to be able to grasp the "it."

2. WHY did Nancy still choose Steve over Jonathan?! Yeah ok, maybe everybody thinks that Steve redeemed himself, and I'd be lying if I said the dude didn't have majestic hair, but COME ON.... him swinging a bat does not change the fact that he allowed his friends to call Nancy a slut (basically agreeing with them) and being horrible to Jonathan, because he was "upset." And yeah, Jonathan was creepy taking Nancy picture through a window, but it's not like he stalked her there.... he just happened upon her and took the girl he had a crush on picture. WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE.

3. Speaking of Nancy/Jonathan/Steve.... how is Nancy gonna pretend like she doesn't like Jonathan "like that" even a little bit? Girl, you asked him to crawl up into your bed with you so you could feel safe, quit playing. Sure, Steve was the "safe bet" for your days going forward, but it wasn't him that you wanted/needed for comfort. Nor was it him that was there for you throughout the Upside Down, and sure he wasn't there and didn't know what was happening, but WHATEVER STEVE HARRINGTON YOU'RE A LIFE RUINER. #TeamJonathan

4. There are more kids like Eleven, right?! Like, I know they're not as cool as her and I'm not going to love them the same, BUT they exist? Or did they all get murdered by the bad guys?! If they are still alive and not murdered by those creepy ass lab/government guys.... where are they? Are they still at the lab? Has the lab taken more precautions so that they don't escape like Eleven did? Why does nobody know these things and pay attention in this damn town?!

5. Will is currently puking up slugs, so he's obviously not "ok" but how bad is he?! Like, on a scale of 1-10 is HE an Eleven?! Things don't look too promising in the second season promos for Baby Byers, but how bad are we talking here? Is it a PTSD thing? Is it a recurring nightmare thing? Is it a "they can suck me back into the Upside Down with telekinesis only" thing? How bad are we talking here?!

6. How was NO ONE suspicious of this Hawkins Laboratory?! Y'all I get that it's a tiny Indiana town, and as someone who lives in Indiana (heart of the midwest) I get it.... but I wasn't raised in Indiana, I was raised in Tennessee in a town that is actually about the same size as the fictional "Hawkins, Indiana" and you can't do ANYTHING in that town without suspicion and whispers. When the Nestle Water Plant moved into our town, people literally thought a cult was moving in and it was a government conspiracy for almost six months. SIX. I call bullshit on none of these people being suspicious.

7. Is there something worse than the Demogorgon lurking out there?! You know, besides the Kardashians?! Because let's be honest, they're worse than anything that the Demogorgon is spitting out. What else is there lurking in the darkness? Sure, the Demogorgon was (is?) bad, but I'm still not 100% convinced that there was something else stalking Nancy when her and Jonathan got separated for that time. IS THIS STEVE'S FAULT TOO?!

8. This takes place in November 1983 (the second season will pick up in October 1984), so are we going to get a bunch of seasons all leading up and into the 90s? Are we going to skip years and do time jumps? Is this show going to last forever (YES)? Now that Sean Astin is part of the cast are we going to get some iconic Mikey lines once we get to 1985?!

9. Speaking of Sean Astin.... what is his new character and could I love his addition to the cast anymore?! The fact that they have yanked up Sean Astin, king of my little 80s heart, to portray anything in this show just makes me love it more. So, will he be pulling out his Goonies roots to tap into this role and help out?! *see question eight*

10. Will Mike, Lucas, and Dustin (ok fine, and Will) find out that El is around sooner rather than later?! Like, they met her at the very end of the first episode of the first season, so are they going to run into her pretty quickly or are they going to make us wait forever and a day?! MIKE CAN'T TAKE THIS KIND OF STRESS.

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

This past Sunday (7/30) was my big brother's birthday.

I don't know if y'all remember my only sibling or not.... but he just turned thirty-one and my jokes are only getting better with his age. I don't think thirty-one is old AT ALL.... except when it involves him. (So. Many. Jokes.).

With age for him has come many things. However, the capacity to do laundry, take out the trash, mow the lawn, vacuum, cook, flush the toilet, and other household chores/regular shit that adults do apparently aren't any of those "acquired" things that he seems to have picked up. He does kind of creak when he stands up too quick or has been sleeping for awhile, so that's kind of fun (for me).

He was off on his birthday this year and while his girlfriend took him out for a bit, they left the baby with us (against my will and I did not agree to it).... and it was a bit difficult. But, whatever, I did my sisterly duty for the decade day and he better not try to pull that shit again. (I'm watching you, dude).
I would like to share with you some stories about all the love and affection that my family showers upon people on their birthdays every year.... but that's not how we roll. Instead, we prefer to harass you for an entire day and proceed to drink. Which isn't all that different from any other day, but we tell you that we're doing it "in your honor" so you can feel special while pickling our livers.

Also, I was taking trash out and trying to figure out where all of the laundry in the basket had come from (I did ALL of the laundry yesterday when I got home from work) at 2:50 this morning and I'll give you two guesses where it all of the mess came from. But you'll only need the one guess, because IT WAS HIM.

He seems to have enjoyed his day and we were all grilling out anyways (his, my aunt, and my cousins birthdays are all within like three days of each other).... not to mention Ashley caught the grill on fire and that shit was hilarious. And then we all wished happy birthdays and took naps (because of the drinking).... in his honor, of course.

So.... here's to you (three days late), big bro. I love you, but seriously.... flush the f*cking toilet.

Sunday, July 30, 2017

My thoughts on the first season of Riverdale. (Part V).

Some shit went down this hour, friends. While things are left is a mess.... I have heard rumors that Season Two starts on October 11th and that it will be available on Netflix the very next day (October 12th), so hopefully this is a true thing?

This hour you get to see a mess.... and some closure.... and some kisses.... and then shit gets f*cked up again, because that is the way this show goes.

Let's begin, shall we? Read Part I here, Part II here, Part III here, and Part IV here.

(Season Finale) Episode (Chapter) Thirteen: The Sweet Hereafter

Official Synopsis: Archie and Veronica continue to grow closer. Betty is tired of her family acting as if nothing has happened and confronts her mother. Jughead finds himself in an unexpected situation, leaving Archie and the gang scrambling. Hermione makes Fred an offer that seems too good to be true. Meanwhile, the truth about the Blossoms’ family business is revealed, leaving Cheryl to take matters into her own hands.

My Thoughts: So.... the Blossom family maple syrup business was really a front for a heroin ring?! Why are people still so surprised when rich people are caught up in drugs and deceit? You need to calm your tits, Sheriff Keller.... Billy Loomis FP ain't gonna tell you shit. I know it, you know it, even Jughead knows it. How is shit already back to being so creepy and cold at the Cooper house? Like, we're just all gonna pretend that the last twelve episodes haven't happened and that Polly isn't pregnant with her cousin's baby? Not Betty.... Betty knows this is bullshit. There's just a random Cooper brother out there somewhere?! I think it's awesome that Betty wants to write an article calling the town out on its bullshit and the fact that they're just trying to blame/exile Juggie, because of his dad, but nobody has even mentioned that the rich dude was the murderer/drug kingpin. *insert eyeroll here* Screw you, Mayor McCoyJuggie is apart of Riverdale!! I think it's great that Betty published that article.... I think the whole bloody locer thing was an overreaction. No one cares that Archie and Veronica are dating now.... it's like Betty said, Archie, she's with Jughead now and they're happy SO MOVE ON AND DON'T RUIN IT. Juggie giving Betty that side-eye when she called out that they were together is adorable. Cheryl apologizing to Juggie is so well deserved. NO.... Juggie CANNOT transfer and leave! I'm not ok with this.... and he just went and did it without telling them about it? To make things easier? Your friends/girlfriend ain't going down that easily without a fight. I know you want to keep Betty safe, but she is not giving up that easily. What is Cheryl Blossom up to? Her mom better chill, because Cheryl is about to f*ck some shit up.... what's that text say, Veronica? TOLD YOU. Oh no.... they're just totally ignoring that they could all die to run across the ice and save Cheryl. Poor Cheryl.... yeah, I said it. Damn Archie, my hand hurts just watching you punch through that ice.... those poor kids. So, Hermione just fired the Serpents even though they had their backs when the chips were down? So much for loyalty.... I agree with Fred. That talk that Juggie and FP have? Amazing.... FP knows what he needs to tell Juggie and Juggie knows what his dad needs too.... oh, you guys. Ok, I guess Archie really does deserve to have his song sung at the jubilee. Don't be nervous about your speech, Betty.... Juggie showed up to support you. In her speech, Betty says that everyone in the town is the essence of Riverdale - even people they attempt to shun, like FP and Jughead. She says that Riverdale needs to do better to prevent something like Jason’s murder from happening again. She finishes her speech, and Jughead leads the audience into applause. That's right, three cheers for Betty Cooper!! Hip hip!! HOORAY!! Cheryl is burning down the Blossom family mansion (did she remove Nana Rose, hopefully first?) and her mom is PISSED. I told you not to mess with crazy ass Cheryl!! The gang (JuggieBetty Archie, & Veronica.... where's Kevin?!) are celebrating at Pop's.... I don't think they're gonna let things end this nicely. Ugh, I am over this whole "Archie & Veronica" thing. Back to the important stuff.... Jughead and Betty. (While at FP's trailer alone) Betty"I'm not givng up on him, Jug.... not until he's out." Jughead"Hell no.... that is why I love you, Betty.... I love you.... Betty Cooper." Betty"Jughead Jones.... I love you." Aw, they love each other and now they're gonna kiss.... whoa, who knew Juggie had that much upper body strength? Must be all that construction work. No one cares that Archie is hooking up with Veronica, he has literally hooked up with like fourteen people this season. But Betty and Juggie? That's a first.... I love that they're really into it and when there's a knock on the door interrupting them, Juggie is immediately like "is that your mom?!" Ha! That would so be like Alice Cooper to show up right about now. It's the Serpents.... and they have Juggie's back, because they "take care of their own" like FP did? Juggie is gonna be a Serpent?! Can you let a Highschool Sophmore into your gang? He looks pretty happy to put on that leather.... and Betty looks freaked.... and now Juggie looks freaked looking at her.... I bet she didn't see this coming like three minutes ago when she thought she was just gonna get to sleep with her boyfriend.... y'all, please survive this. Don't listen to ArchieVeronica.... he's sneaking out, but it's to meet Fred at Pop's for breakfast, so it's ok. Hi, Dylan McKay Fred!! Wait.... what's happening? Holy shit, that dude has a gun! Get away from Pop's! Stay back, Archie!! I feel like he's not there for Pop's.... this is all WAY TOO convenient.... NO!! Did he shoot Fred?! Did Archie jump in front of the gun?! DID HE SHOOT FRED?! Holy hell, he shot Fred!! Somebody call 911!! Get Fred some help!! What?! To be continued until next season?! OH, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE F*CKING KIDDING ME.

Jughead's Input: "Jason’s murder had revealed some dark truths none of us were too eager to face, especially not Mayor McCoy, who wanted every last vestige of corruption crushed, like a snake under a boot heel."

Final Thoughts at the End of Season One: I CANNOT wait until season two of this show comes out. Like, they need to get on this shit.... I hope Betty and Juggie can survive all this. And Fred. Oh, come on, Fred.... you, Juggie, and Betty all pull through!!

Saturday, July 29, 2017

My thoughts on the first season of Riverdale. (Part IV).

We are pulling into the home stretch my friends. How am I even making this into so many posts? It literally took me two nights to watch the first season of this show (#NetflixBingeWatching). And yet, here we are.

While I admit that this is probably ridiculous and that I should've maybe never even started this.... I've never been known for taking the easy way out of for not doing dumb things. Hey, you win some you lose some.... right?! Nevermind, just go with it.

Read about Part I here, Part II here, Part III here, and now we're onto Part IV.

Episode (Chapter) Ten: The Lost Weekend

Official Synopsis: When Fred decides to finalize the divorce with Archie’s mother, MaryArchie hides his true feelings. Archie tries to win Valerie back with a romantic evening, however, Betty hijacks his plans when she decides to throw Jughead a surprise birthday party. Once Cheryl learns of the party, she decides to make it interesting and things quickly get out of control. Meanwhile, Veronica contemplates whether she should participate in the deposition to help get her Dad released.

My Thoughts: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JUGHEAD!!! I mean, I kind of feel about Veronica and her dad like I do about Josie and the Pussycats.... like, I'm not going to stop watching because of them, but I'm also not really into it either. Archie, you told Betty that it was Jughead's birthday?! He's going to be SO pissed off. I love that everybody keeps referring to Betty and Jughead as boyfriend/girlfriend and they are the only ones that won't admit it until the very end.... really Juggie?! Gonna go down swinging.... alright. I love that Jughead and Betty went to the movies for his birthday (An American Werewolf in London!!). Fred, don't leave town, bro.... this "birthday party" is gonna get so out of hand. Annndddd.... it's out of hand. Jughead is pissed, Betty is upset, and Archie is LIT THE F*CK UP. Get over yourself, Valerie.... Archie is trying to talk to you, not accost you and throw a fit like you are clearly doing right now. Juggie thinks he only has two friends? He has more than two friends.... KEVIN IS TO YOUR FRIEND, JUGHEAD. Seriously, you're gonna be that big of a douche, Jug? Fine, but you're gonna feel bad about it in about two seconds.... told you. Ugh, Chuck. You might call everybody out on their "dirty little secrets" Chuck, but you are also the dude that was lying about hooking up with girls in really gross ways when you weren't so I feel like you still earn the biggest loser title. OH SHIT!! Juggie knocked the f*ck out of Chuck! I mean, he got a hit back, but DAMN.... and the FP threw Chuck out and made everybody go home. Boom. No Juggie, you don't need FP to give you any tips on your right hook.... that bitch went down like a sack of taters. Hang up the phone, Drunk Archie! This is all Cheryl's fault. Listen to FPJug.... go talk to Betty.... at Pop's.... and tell her about how you have layers so you guys can bond and kiss and be even more adorable than you already are. FP knows Alice.... sounds feisty and like good ole times. Oh snap, Archie is gonna hook up with Veronica now? That boy has too much damn energy. I love that they both fell asleep and the next morning when Veronica tries to sneak out Jughead catches her.... and immediately they have a "I won't say anything, because you really are my friend" moment.... I told you that you had more than just two friends, JugFred brought Archie's mom back? Is that Molly Mother-F*cking Ringwald?!

Jughead's Input: "Weekdays, from 8:25am to 3:01pm we adhere to a strict regimen. Everything in our lives is controlled, but then something like the murder of Jason Blossom happens and you realize, there is no such thing as control, there is only chaos. Nevertheless, some of us strive to impose and maintain order, in what is, fundamentally, an orderless world. A fact which would very soon be confirmed, in ways none of us could have foreseen."

Episode (Chapter) Eleven: To Riverdale and Back Again

Official Synopsis: Betty is slammed overseeing Homecoming and Reunion weekend, but Alice wants her help with the Jason Blossom investigation. Alice turns to Archie and Veronica for help, but when Betty discovers they are working with her mom, she is not happy. After seeing his father, FP, start to clean up his act, Jughead wonders if it’s the right time to give him another chance. Cheryl and Polly have both decided to go to Homecoming in Jason’s honor, until a revelation waylays their plans. Meanwhile, Fred and Mary attend the Homecoming dance, leaving Fred to possibly reconsider the divorce.

My Thoughts: Molly Ringwald/Archie's mom is not only named Mary, but they expect me to believe that Andie Walsh Mary and Dylan McKay Fred were kind of highschool sweethearts? I don't buy it. Aw, Juggie is stopping in at his dad, Billy Loomis FP's trailer.... and it's clean? And he's sober first thing in the morning? And he shaved? And they are just gonna talk about Jughead's manuscript?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?! Juggie has so much hope for the future now. Shut up, Veronica! Maybe mind your own business and deal with your shady ass daddy before you go poking around with other people's. Cheryl is just going to bring Polly as her date to the homecoming dance? Because it should've been Polly and Jason there in the first place? Ok.... I'm just gonna let that one go.... but only because Polly stumbled upon Clifford Blossom in a wing of their house (how rich do you have to be before your house starts having wings?) and he has a billion red wigs.... I don't trust him. Cheryl and Polly found the ring.... and now Cheryl is tripping again.... and the mom drugged Polly with a milkshake.... what. the. f*ck. Cheryl did NOT flush that ring and if y'all think she did, you're dumb. Alice just invited Juggie and Billy Loomis his dad over for dinner without asking Betty? She's up to something.... but Juggie is excited and Betty can't let him down! Did anybody really think this this dinner was gonna go good? Betty is 100% the f*ck over it and they are going to the dance.... look, I'm glad y'all are doing better, but you CANNOT move Jughead to Toledo, Billy FP. Damn you, Archie and Veronica.... y'all shouldn't be doing all this shit.... Jughead is gonna be pissed off and we JUST ESTABLISHED that y'all are friends. Look at Fred walking into that homecoming dance with Mary AND Hermione. Like. a. Boss. Betty caught y'all!! And now Jughead is mad at her too?! Oh come on, she didn't know and tried to stop shit before it happened.... yeah, he doesn't care, he's pissed: “to think I was going to pass on moving to Toledo with my family for you,” she loves you dammit, Jug!! LET HER LOVE YOU. She didn't do anything wrong! Annndddd.... now Billy Loomis FP has been arrested for Jason Bloom's murder. There was NOT a gun in that lockbox when Archie and Veronica were snooping in his trailer. Where is Jughead going? Omg, he's crying and I can't take it. Seeing Juggie cry all alone is too much for me. Betty can't find him.... I wouldn't talk to Archie and Veronica either, Betty.... but y'all HAVE to find Jughead and tell him about the gun plant!! Who is framing Billy FP and why?!

Jughead's Input: "People like to say that the death of Jason Blossom changed everything at Riverdale High, but certain things, certain traditions, never change. Take homecoming for instance. Though Jason’s jersey had been retired, the Riverdale Bulldogs would still be playing their arch-rivals the Baxter High Ravens with the River Vixens cheering them on. As in previous years, graduates from days of Riverdale past will come to town to relive their more youthful, more carefree days or… to make up for lost time."

Episode (Chapter) Twelve: Anatomy of a Murder

Official Synopsis: Archie and Veronica are shocked to learn of the arrest, but know they need to come clean to their parents about what they uncovered. Still hurt by the betrayal of his friends and torn over who to trust, Jughead reluctantly joins them in a quest for the truth. Meanwhile, Cheryl confronts her mom about why she treats her so much worse than she ever did with Jason.

My Thoughts: Juggie.... I know you feel upset and alone right now, but you CAN'T move to Toledo. And now your mom says you can't either?! Oh, f*ck her. Like, I can say no, but you're damn momma shouldn't. PLEASE STOP CRYING. I'm so glad that BettyArchie, and Veronica found you before you skipped town (I've lived in FL, it's not all that great and you'll hate it). And now y'all are on the hunt to find whoever is framing Billy FP! What?! FP, you didn't kill Jason and you're being framed, we all know it, so WHY are you confessing? You're lying. And now Alice Cooper has a gun too? Where are all of you people getting these guns?! WHAT?! THE COOPERS ARE REALLY BLOSSOMS?!?! Which means Polly and Jason were hooking up and Polly is now pregnant with her COUSINS BABY. That's right, go get Polly RIGHT F*CKING NOW. I agree with Alice, y'all probably killed your son to cover up the incest.... which blows my mind that people are just NOW throwing that rumor out there. Betty and Jughead need each other now more than ever. Juggie looks so sad talking to his dad.... and he knows FP is lying through his damn teeth!! FP called JoaquinKevin's boyfriend? My poor little Kevin. That's right Joaquin, the least you can do is take them to that other Southside Serpent that could maybe help.... annnddddd.... he's dead. All of these parents should be super pissed off right now.... but I also need these kids to help Juggie, so y'all will just have to get over it. Now Hermione is in trouble?! ONE PROBLEM AT A TIME, PLEASE. Kevin is getting Joaquin out of town.... poor Kev, he really cared about that gang member. At least Joaquin gave Kevin a piece of "evidence" before he skipped town.... and the kids found the bag with Jason Blossom's letterman jacket in it. Wait, does this make FP look more guilty or help?! That's right, Betty, SLAY ALL DAY GIRL AND GET IT. What's on the USB drive? All of these kids look officially traumatized. What was on it?! Betty.... why are you calling Cheryl? What's happening? Alice is turning the USB into Sheriff Keller? Ok, now we get to see what's on it.... HOLY. SHIT. Clifford Blossom murdered his own son?!! And Cheryl is hella bent on revenge!! FP confessed, because Clifford came to him the night he was arrested and threatened to kill Jughead?! I'LL BE DAMNED. And now FP can't get out, because he still has a bunch of other charges? Does Juggie at least feel better knowing that his dad isn't a murderer? Mary Andrews is leaving (Bye, Felicia) and Veronica's dad is getting out of prison? Go arrest, Clifford Blossom.... wait.... Cheryl, why do you look like that on your porch? What's in the barn?! CLIFFORD BLOSSOM HUNG HIMSELF?! That, or Cheryl got shit done, because bitches get shit done. And there are drugs everywhere.... shit is getting really realer than real up in here.

Jughead's Input: "And, though one question had been answered that night, that it was Clifford Blossom who killed Jason, a new mystery loomed over Riverdale. Why had he done it? It was a question only Clifford himself would be able to answer..."

Friday, July 28, 2017

My thoughts on the first season of Riverdale (Part III).

Can we all just agree to quit calling Archie a "Ginger Stallion"?! Like, please y'all that's gross and I still don't understand what it is. The appeal of Archie, that is.... I understand what the nickname is supposed to mean.

Oh,before we begin, let me just let y'all in on the fact that I finished the first season of this show in two evenings and had I not had to be an adult (boring), it wouldn't have taken that long. It really is just a good show.... and kind of dark. Which I like.... don't ask. And then I learned that season two of the show comes out on regular tv on like October 11th, but then it's going to be on Netflix like October 12th? And the second season is around 22 episodes long (the first is 13 episodes), so.... this is pretty damn cool. And I can't quit reading about this show and things connected to it.

Let's pick up where we left off, shall we?! Read Part I here and Part II here.

Episode (Chapter) Seven: In a Lonely Place

Official Synopsis: When a major piece of evidence is mysteriously destroyed, new rumors begin to swirl as to who was really behind Jason’s murder. Tensions build when Jughead’s father returns to the fray and it’s revealed that he and Fred have some unresolved issues between them. Meanwhile, Veronica takes matters into her own hands after her fight with Hermione. Cheryl approaches Betty with an unexpected proposal that leaves Betty torn.

My Thoughts: Damn, Juggie.... that is quite a hallucination/nightmare you're having there. Are you at school? Are you sleeping under a staircase at school?! You are.... and Archie knows now. Oh, you don't want Betty to know, because you LIKE HER. Oh, you don't? So there's just no reason that you're singling out Betty then? Ok dude, keep telling yourself that. That's nice of Archie to offer Juggie a place to crash, he should go. Then again, he also just comforted Betty in front of ALL of their friends over Polly escaping(and disappearing from) the Sisters of Quiet Mercy (that still sounds like a cult to me). Ha! Everybody knows this Jughead/Betty thing even before they do. Holden Caulfield? Nice one, Veronica.... THEY HAD A MOMENT, OKAY?! Cheryl needs to calm the hell down right now. Like, I get that Polly disappearing looks guilty as f*ck, but come on, chill crazy. And now everybody has formed a search party look look for her.... yeah, only great things will come out of this. And now Cheryl's icy heart is thawed, because Polly is pregnant with Jason's baby? So. Much. Crazy. Aw, and here's Juggie at FP's trailer asking him to go back to work for Fred Andrews. Quit being proud and go, FP, I want Juggie to have good things, dammit. And he's gonna go back, because he doesn't want Juggie to look at him like he's "a piece of garbage." Hermione better not rat him out to Fred.... a snake doesn't bite unless you give them a reason to. And FP/Juggie are going out to dinner with Archie/Fred? I feel like this is too much good too soon.... and I was right. FP is drunk and he needs to WAKE THE HELL UP BECAUSE JUGHEAD IS TALKING TO YOU. I don't care that Veronica is throwing a baby fit, yes, your mother kissed Fred, but you kissed Archie when you knew Betty liked him (even though, screw Archie now, because clearly Jughead is superior in every way), so calm down moral girl. Hey, Sheriff Keller, back the hell off of Juggie! So he played with matches once and got bullied. He's right, his name is JUGHEAD afterall. And Fred just alibied him out.... I love Dylan McKay Fred. FORGE THAT TIMECARD!!! FP is drunk (shocking), but thankfully he tells Juggie to go with Archie/Fred. It's so cute that Juggie walked Betty home.... and then she figured out where Polly was hiding and kissed him from gratitude (and his general kiss worthiness) and yes.... you two are "what people like us do" and stuff! *insert heart eyes here* But if y'all (Betty & Polly) thought that those Blossoms weren't up to some funny business, y'all are crazy. So, Polly is just gonna hide at Veronica's? Cool. WHY DOES FP HAVE JASON BLOSSOM'S LETTERMAN JACKET?!!?!

Jughead's Input: "What makes a place feel like home? Is it warmth and familiarity? Some idealized, make-believe TV version of the American Dream? Is it love and acceptance? Or is it simply safety?"

Episode (Chapter) Eight: The Outsiders

Official Synopsis: As Fred and his crew are about to start construction, he loses his crew, which could put his livelihood in jeopardy. Wanting to help his dad, Archie and his friends pitch in to help, but after one of them is attacked, the gang comes up with a plan that lands them in Southside Serpent territory. With Jughead’s secret revealed, he is worried about how his friends will react. Meanwhile, Veronica and Betty suggest throwing Polly a baby shower to make her feel better, but Polly is hesitant knowing how everyone feels.

My Thoughts: What exactly are those two boys doing in that room that makes it smell so bad? Like, I've seen that you both shower.... what the hell?! Fred's ENTIRE crew just up and quit, because of that stupid Blossom dad (Clifford)?! So much for loyalty. And the boys all have his back?!! Whoop whoop!! Let's get Archie, Juggie, Kevin (YAY, KEVIN!), Moose, and that there dude to work. Don't go out there Moose.... it's dark.... something bad is about to happen. TOLD YOU. Damn you, Clifford Blossom! Don't go to that bar, Archie! That's a bad idea and quit giving Juggie lip over it, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. I love that not only did FP have to save their asses, but that he also called Fred.... he really is trying to be an adult. Don't you yell at Jughead, Archie, especially at Polly's baby shower that he's totally only there because of Betty for! Asshole. And now Juggie is embarrassed, because he didn't want everybody knowing his dad was a gang leader.... but Betty wants to know everything if they're going to be together, because YOU GUYS ARE TOGETHER and I love the cuteness. Here we go with a Juggie/Archie reunion, y'all are brothers! And FP got guys together to help Fred out with his crew problem?! Like and they're getting through this and having a real heart-to-heart moment and shit?! Damn y'all, I love it. I mean, I get that Polly is still angry at their mom (Alice) for sending her away.... but with the dad kicked out (kick that piece of crap out, Alice!) and everything more accepted she's gonna go home, right?! Nope, she's going to Thornhill mansion.... what. the. f*ck.

Jughead's Input: "The Coopers. The Stepfords of Riverdale. High school sweethearts, who got married, and had two beautiful daughters, Polly and Betty. Until Jason Blossom happened."

Episode (Chapter) Nine: La Grande Illusion

Official Synopsis: Archie reluctantly agrees to escort Cheryl to her family’s official start of maple syrup tapping, because he gets an offer that could help his future. Archie starts to become skeptical of the real reason the Blossoms are so eager to help him, however he gets some helpful information for Betty about her sister. Veronica is trying to be nice and unbeknownst to her, befriends a classmate that her father’s illegal doings has hurt. Hermione is conflicted about telling Fred the truth. Meanwhile, Alice is ready to get revenge on the Blossoms once and for all with the help of her two daughters.

My Thoughts: I may never eat maple syrup after watching this. Those people take Stepford to a whole new level. How do they not see how creepy they all are at this point?! Cheryl wants Archie to take her to her family's annual tree tapping? Also, her family has an annual tree tapping ceremony? Ok, I'm just gonna let that one go. Of course, Archie is going to take Cheryl to that ceremony shit, like, y'all are offering him acceptance to one of the most prestigious music academies ever.... bitch is going. And Betty is all for it so Archie can talk to Polly for her. Damn Barb Ethel Muggs, sad shit: "they put me in a wooden box... as I desperately opposed.... but all my screaming was for naught.... my mouth had been sewn closed." Like, somebody get this girl a friend.... insert Veronica. I don't think Ethel's family is gonna take it too well once they figure out that their daughter's friend is the daughter of the guy that caused all of their problems.... and now Ethel's dad tried to kill himself. Yep, definitely not going to take that good. Hermione told Fred about the land owner?! AH!! He's gonna stick with this shit, but y'all are DONE. Archie, I know you're trying to be nice to Cheryl and all.... but that girl has been through alot and if you can't see that she likes you, you're dumber than I thought.... yep, definitely dumber. Now you gotta go "make up" with Valerie and she ain't having it. Good thing that whole night wasn't a total bust, go tell they guys what you heard the Blossoms talking about. Damn Cheryl, back to coloring over people's faces with markers, huh? A little overreaction if you ask me. Polly is a spy?! Alice through a brick through the town newspapers window and now she's gonna go write with Betty and Jughead at the school newspaper.... this isn't going to end well.  

Jughead's Input: "Thicker than blood, more precious than oil. Riverdale’s big business, is maple syrup. Since the town’s founding, one family has controlled its lucrative syrup trade: the Blossoms. They were a part of the fabric of our daily lives. Rich or poor, old or young, we consumed Blossom syrup by the bucket. That sickly sweet smell was inescapable. The death of Jason Blossom precipitated a crisis, with the heir apparent gone, who would inherit the family business one day? Certainly not Cheryl. It was a question that brought the wolves to Riverdale, and now, the Blossoms were circling the wagons against possible attack, from within their own ranks."

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Getting better every day.

It's been a little over three weeks since we had to rush Momma to the ER, it'll be three weeks tomorrow since she had to have emergency surgery, and a little over two weeks since I got to bring her home. While there has been a lot of adjustments, and we continue to learn about new ones everyday, the improvement that she has been making has been phenomenal.

And I'm usually one of those, "knock on wood" "don't jinx it" kind of people, but I am also one of those people that like to give credit where credit is due and tell people how proud I am of someone when I truly am.

So, here I am. Telling and sharing.... even if it happens to be usually against my will on the personal front.

A post shared by Katie Hopwood (@kdhopwood) on

Momma's incision has been closing up nicely and she has an appointment next Thursday to see about getting her staples out.... which will probably make things feel a little bit better on the healing front. Tomorrow will be the first time she's been out for an appointment since she's come home.... but she did get out with me a couple of days after we got home to go to the grocery store and pick up some meds. She really wore herself out that day, but she was so insanely happy to get out for a bit.

Other than that we've been mainly chilling and taking it easy, all while still putting in the work to get better and stronger every day. To say that she's impressive would be an understatement.

There was a Physical Therapist (PT) that came out once and gave us some really good advice/pointers on getting around until she's more comfortable/steady.... and he told me it's extremely helpful that I've has training in that field (healthcare, that is). And she has an RN that comes out once/twice a week, named Jenny and she's been great and Momma really likes her.

I returned to work the week after I got to bring her home and while I go home on my lunch breaks, my family has been insanely helpful when it comes to day to day life. One of my aunts comes and stays with her during the day when I'm at work and in the evenings and on weekends it's just the two of us (don't even get me started on my brother).

And honestly, since I've gotten my license, life has become easier. She doesn't worry about me driving and I don't have to wait to go get something that she may need. We've settled into a little groove/routine, I guess you could say for the moment. She's still down a little more than usual, because of the meds and all, but still in incredibly high spirits and making some of the most hilarious jokes that you've ever heard.

It's definitely been a learning curve for us, but like I always say.... we got this.

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

My thoughts on the first season of Riverdale. (Part II).

I have come to realize that while I could have split this whole Riverdale Season One recapping into two posts (or even one giant post), I would rather split it up even more, because I'm difficult and do things that are random.... not unlike Jughead Jones.

Or, Betty Cooper. Speaking of which, why aren't Betty Cooper and Jughead just together and living happily (ok, happily is a far stretch in Riverdale) ever after. Let's get on that people.

Moving on. (Read Part I here).

Episode (Chapter) Four: The Last Picture Show

Official Synopsis: When Jughead learns that an anonymous buyer has plans to tear down the local drive-in, he fights desperately to keep it open. Betty finds her friendship with Archie on the line after stumbling upon some startling information she’s uncovered about Ms. Grundy’s past. Elsewhere, Veronica confronts her mother, Hermione, about a suspicious meeting she witnessed between her mother and a shady Southside Serpent. Finally, after uncovering Betty’s diary, Alice finds the perfect opportunity to destroy Archie’s golden boy image.

My Thoughts: I knew it wouldn't take Betty long to figure out what was going on between Archie and Ms. Grundy, she's too damn smart for all of that mess. And yes dude, we're on the same wavelength, I don't think he should be banging his teacher either. Wait until Dylan McKay Luke Perry Fred finds out about this shit. THANK YOU, BETTY. Yes, we are all (with the exception of Archie apparently) aware that this is ILLEGAL and gross. Pick your battles, girl.... I know you're about to find proof, just like Juggie would. Seriously, why aren't y'all dating at this point?! I would be upset about the Twilight Drive-In closing too! Aw, Juggie is living there? CAN SOMEBODY JUST LOVE THIS GUY ALREADY, PLEASE?!! Great choice with Rebel Without A Cause (and don't think I didn't see that look you gave Betty when she mentioned it). What is Veronica's mom up to? Ugh, so much shit is going down! Of course, there is more going on than just the drive-in closing down and Veronica's dad has pull from inside prison.... am I the only one that's ever watched a mob movie?! I hate Betty's mom (Alice), but I mean, I'm not sad she called this shit out so somebody can do something about Ms. Grundy.... what? Annnnddd.... she's just going to leave town. Like, because that's what she does, because she was in an abusive marriage? Dude, I feel for you, but you still can't go around banging your students!! Ew, seriously? I see how you're looking at those teen boys.... no lesson learned, but I'm glad you're leaving town. Leave your mark, Juggie, I understand. Wait, what does that biker want with Juggie? Wait, that biker is Skeet Ulrich! And he's Juggie's dad?! BILLY F*CKING LOOMIS IS OLD ENOUGH TO PLAY A REGULAR DAD TOO?!! Mind. Blown.

Jughead's Input: "It's been a week since the discovery of Jason Blossom’s body. But his death would not be the first, nor would it be the last casualty that the town of Riverdale would suffer. The Twilight Drive-In, where I work; my home away from home. A piece of town history is closing for good, just when we needed a place to escape to the most. With Sheriff Keller knocking on every door, and neighbor suspecting neighbor, every day that passes is becoming more like Salem during the witch trials. And meanwhile, the girl next door, our friendly neighborhood Hitchcock blonde, Betty Cooper, was wrestling with knowledge that her best friend Archie Andrews was caught up in a forbidden romance."

Episode (Chapter) Five: Heart of Darkness

Official Synopsis: With Jason’s funeral around the corner, the Blossom family moves forward with last minute preparations- and a secret agenda. Meanwhile, Archie’s attempt to refocus his energy on football comes to a halt when an opportunity to work with a new music mentor presents itself. Betty dives deeper into her investigation of Jason’s death and unearths some dark revelations about her family. Elsewhere, after uncovering secrets about her own family, Veronica forms an unlikely friendship with Cheryl, who is having a tougher time with Jason’s impending funeral than she lets on. Finally, Hermione turns to Fred for help after receiving a cryptic message from the Southside Serpents.

My Thoughts: Look at how Betty looks at dressed up (up? funeralish?) Jughead.... and he's blushing!! Gothic Nightmare is the understatement of the century when it comes to the life of Cheryl Blossom and her family. How do none of these people think that Cheryl was a little too close to her brother? Like, where are those rumors?! Not sure, but Cheryl, I'm starting to think that you'd be fine if it wasn't for your psychotic family (ie your mom). Why would Cheryl invite Veronica over for a sleepover?! Because I wouldn't want to deal with her family alone either.... and her parents are just gonna make fun of her grieving over her dead brother? Damn, these people f*cking suck, no wonder Cheryl is off in the damn head. Oh hell no, y'all can forbid her from taking part in her brothers funeral, but she isn't going to take it lying down. TOLD YOU. Walking up into that bitch like she owned it in a white dress? Game, set, mother f*cking match. Oh shit! Betty and Juggie are looking for clues about Jason's murder/Polly in general (I totally knew there was more to this).... and Cheryl's grandma scared them!! Ha! Juggie is all cool and laid back.... and scared by little ole ladies. Look at him hide behind Betty!! *uncontrollable laughter here* I love these two. What?! Jason and Polly were engaged?! And Cheryl was helping him escape?! And, and, what?!! I'm glad Archie turned down the captain spot on the football team.... he's got enough for now. So.... Jughead thinks Betty's parents may have something to do with killing Jason? Seems legit, they did lock Polly away somewhere, because you know that girl is not crazy like they're saying. You're right Juggie, you guys HAVE to find and talk to Polly asap.

Jughead's Input: "Every town has one. The spooky house that all kids avoid. Ours was Thornhill, the Blossom family’s mansion, with its very own graveyard. And, trapped within its walls like some gothic heroine, was Cheryl Blossom. Still grieving for her beloved brother, Jason. Linked in death even as they were in life."

Episode (Chapter) Six: Faster, Pussycats! Kill! Kill!

Official Synopsis: With Riverdale High’s annual variety show around the corner, Valerie’s efforts to help Archie prepare for his big performance lead to some major fallout between her and Josie. Meanwhile, Betty and Jughead’s investigation into Jason’s death brings them to a home for troubled youth and face-to-face with Polly. Just as her relationship with her mother was on the upswing, an unexpected betrayal sends Veronica spiraling, while Josie deals with her own pressures at home after her overbearing father returns for her performance at the variety show. Finally, Hermione’s first day at Andrews Construction finds her and Fred growing closer.

My Thoughts: I knew Betty would find her sister with Jughead's help.... he looks so incredibly uncomfortable at that breakfast table. Like, you know he's got some serious feelings for Betty to be dealing with her crazy ass mom that early in the morning. What is Sisters of Quiet Mercy? That sounds like one of those old school "Homes for Unwed Mothers" from back in the day. Do those still exist?! Apparently they do, because there's Polly and her big ole prego belly! Y'all it's 2017, quit locking that girl away. She doesn't know that Jason is dead? Oy vey.... this is gonna get interesting. Annndddd.... there's Alice Cooper (I still can't get over her being named Alice Cooper) to swoop in a take Betty away from Polly. Look at Juggie going at those nurses when they get on Betty! Don't talk to those parents of yours Betty, you'll just end up pulling your own hair out. Hey, there's Jughead climbing up a ladder to your window. "Hey there, Juliet" love it. Aw, he came to comfort her and make sure she's ok. Like father like son (you know, because Jughead's dad is Billy Loomis and he crawled through Syd's window?! Not important). Also? Also What?! ALSO?! Ah! Jughead just 100% went for it and kissed Betty Cooper.... and she is t-totally loving it. The car?! You mean, Polly and Jason's car? Yeah, you call her out on thinking about that during you guys' moment, Juggie! Y'all can pick this conversation up later, go see if you can find the car! Oh yeah, I forgot this whole Archie/Veronica/Josie and the Pussycats talent show thing. Go back to the Pussycats, Val, that's where you belong! And she does. And Archie sings alone.... and he's not half bad, Dylan McKay his dad looks so proud!! Then again, he was making out with Veronica's mom awhile ago, so he's batting strong today. Of course, they (Betty & Jughead) found the car with Jason's letterman jacket in it.... and then they went to get the sheriff and when they got back the CAR WAS ON FIRE. Betty, are you and Juggie going to find Polly?! There's a thunderstorm, this looks ominous. Polly's window is broken and she's gone?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!! Annnnddd.... Archie is just gonna kiss Valerie too? Like, so on the list so far we have Ms. GrundyVeronica, that other person, and now Valerie too? Dude, this is the sixth episode, CALM DOWN.

Jughead's Input: "Fear. It’s the most basic, the most human emotion. As kids, we’re afraid of everything. The dark… The boogeyman under the bed… And we pray for morning. For the monsters to go away. Though they never do. Not really. Just ask Jason Blossom."

Final Thoughts Halfway(ish) Through: Holy hell, I want to completely ignore the fact that I have adult responsibilities and stay home to binge-watch this. And I'm not even sorry about it.