Wednesday, December 16, 2020

Two years seems like yesterday and fifty years all at once.

Two years ago today, D moved from Florida to Indy so that we could be together. Neither of us knew how this was going to work out and didn't really know what to expect. At least, that's what our answer is when people ask. 

I think deep down, we both knew that we wanted to be together and that somehow and someway we would figure out how to make it work.

When he moved here, he didn't know if I had a boyfriend or not. I didn't know if he had fallen in love after we had broken up and if he was still pining over an ex. For all we knew, we were completely different people than what we were all of those years ago and wouldn't be the least bit compatible. After all, it had been 10+ years since we had even laid eyes on each other, so what were we supposed to expect?

But, like she usually was, Momma was right and knew long before either of us did. 

The months leading up to it were insane. We both knew that life was about to change and while we both welcomed it, to say we were nervous would be an understatement. Like I said, we knew nothing about each other past the age of eighteen. But, as soon as him, his mom, brother, and pup pulled up outside of our house that cold December night two years ago, and we locked eyes after all those years, I think we both just relaxed and knew.

It was like nothing had changed and even though we were completely different people, deep down we were still the same wily and eccentric kids that loved each other even way back then. It didn't matter what had changed and if this was a good idea or not, we just simply knew that it was going to be ok.

And we made it work. It was strange at first. Not the uncomfortable kind of strange, but the strangeness that comes with all change. Of the unknown. We relearned each other and took it one day at a time. 

Many things have happened in the last two years. Some good, others bad. We've shared a lot of laughter, tears, heartache, sarcastic comments, inside jokes, and moments. The moments that mean so much and help you build with a person in every way, shape, and form.

I lost Momma and have dealt with an endless supply of depression and anxiety that came along with that. I still have my bad days and then at times, my extremely bad days. It's hard and exhausting and I get frustrated beyond all reason at myself and my body and mind for not knowing how to just simply fix this. But, D is there and helps as much as he can. Sure, there's not much he can do, because it's not a "problem" that can "be fixed." If it was, I know he would do it in a minute. He just lets me know that he's there and that no matter the ups and downs we have, or that I have with myself, he's not going anywhere. 

He moved a thousand miles away from his family, friends, and the only home that he's ever known. Having barely left the state of Florida for almost twenty-nine years, it was quite the adjustment for him. Like the true champ that he is though, he pushed through and if you ask him about it today, he doesn't even hesitate to say that he would do it all over again to have the life that we have.... together.

We got married, have furchildren, work hard, and live our lives taking it one day at a time. It seems strange that it's only been two years, because in a way, it feels like it's been forever. While 730 days isn't much to some people, especially for such large decisions such as marriage, to us, it's almost as if we're still those two fifteen years old kids that met one day and were crazy about each other for every day after that. No matter how much time we spent apart, we still found our way back to one another and for that I will forever be grateful.

So, here's to you, sweetie. I know I'm a pain in the ass and as sarcastic and sassy as one person can get, but like you always have, you just get me with a shake of your head and roll of your eyes. Here's to many more years of drunken shenanigans, slow dancing in our kitchen, raising furbabies, and genuinely just loving one another.