2019 films. (Part II).

I started a tradition back at the end of 2016 suggesting all of my favorite films that I would recommend that I had viewed throughout the year. This evolved into three consecutive lists in 2017, two in 2018, and after falling off the wagon with it a bit, a catch up for 2018 and 2019 of sorts detailing the movies that I viewed (spanning four months at a time), which ones were my favorites, and the ones I would steer clear of again.

I figured I would keep that tradition going, because I'm looking for anything and everything to keep my mind busy and my anxiety at a minimum. Rambling tends to do that and even though it doesn't help in the long run, it helps in short spurts. 

Catch up from 2016.
Catch up from 2017: Part I, Part II, Part III.

Catch up from 2018: Part I, Part II.
Catch up from 2018/2019: Part I.

July's films: Captain Marvel, Wonder Woman, Miss Bala, Wish Upon, Mortal Engines, Wheelman, Fifty Shades of Black, Pet Sematary(2019), Jurassic Galaxy, CHIPS, The Accountant, Crocodile Dundee, Shazam (even though this one doesn't necessarily count, because I was fading in and out of consciousness.... what I saw of it was cute though), Mission Impossible III, Secret Obsession, Point Blank, Next, Into the Blue 2: The Reef, The Last Airbender, Hellboy(2019).

My favorite: There were SO MANY good ones this month. It's actually pretty hard to choose my favorite, because the list is long, but I'm gonna go with.... Point Blank. I know that we watched some real "big name" movies this go around, and while I loved them, there was just something about this lower budget Netflix Original that got me! It was amazing and should be watched by all right now. Least favorite of the month: There's absolutely no damn doubt in my mind.... Fifty Shades of Black. I'm usually a sucker for those "spoof" movies, but I seriously couldn't even stand this one. I disliked it so much that I just turned it off and didn't even finish it. And I hate saying that, because I love Marlon Wayans.

July's rewatched from years gone by: The Shallows, The Hangover, Power Rangers(2017), Deep Blue Sea.

August's films: Deep Blue Sea 2, American Loser, Unlocked, Inglourious Basterds, War Dogs, The Legend of Tarzan, Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates, Detective Pikachu, Avengers: Endgame, Empire State, The Visit, The Girl in the Spider's Web, Blockers, Escape Room, 31, Braven.

My favorite: Once again, there were quite a few movies this month. What can I say? I'm a giant movie buff and I LOVE adding to my movie collection. Even though I didn't buy any movies this month, I had a couple that I had in the past and hadn't watched yet. Between that, the library, Netflix, and Vudu (did you know you can watch some movies for free? They have ads, but you can watch them!), it's pretty easy to get ahold of some that were new (well, "new" to me). And out of all these films, I'm going to go with.... Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates. It's hilarious and Adam Devine never fails to crack me the hell up. Least favorite of the month: As far as my least favorite, I gotta choose.... Empire State. It wasn't a terrible movie or anything, but I just didn't care for it. It was slow paced and not all that interesting. Sure, we finished it, and while it wasn't terrible, it's not one I'll watch again.

August's rewatched from years gone by: Clash of the Titans, Ghostbusters(2016), Desperado, Without a Paddle, 21 Jump Street, That’s My Boy, 22 Jump Street, Deepwater Horizon, Grown-Ups 2, Eurotrip.

September's films: The Taking of Pelham 123, MIB: International, Ma, Sextuplets, John Wick 3: Parabellum, Snatched.

My favorite: While it got terrible reviews, and they say it was a box office bomb (although I'm not really sure how that works since the budget was between 94-100 million and it made 253.7 million, but whatever) I'm going with.... MIB: International. I'm a 90s/early 00's kid through and through, and while I love the originals (old school Will Smith and legend Tommy Lee Jones!), I still rank this one up there in my would watch again many times category. Least favorite of the month: I was sad with how disappointing this movie was for me.... Ma. I love Octavia Spencer and the movie wasn't terrible or anything, it had some great parts, but it just wasn't as "scary" or "creepy" as I had been hoping. I would still say you should watch it, at least once, but once was enough for me.

September's rewatched from years gone by: The Expendables 3, Labor Day, Daybreakers, The Predator(2018), Lockout, Wrong Turn, Dark Shadows.

Tv series I've finished: Grace and Frankie (S1-5, again), MacGyver (S1), The Vampire Diaries (S1-2), Shameless (S7-9), The Ranch (S7), The Blacklist (S6), The Night Shift (S1-2).

Stand-up I've finished: Dave Chappelle: Sticks & Stones.

Audiobooks that I've given a try (some I finished, some not so much): Bird Box (Josh Malerman), Waiting to Be Heard (Amanda Knox), Fifty Shades of Grey (EL James), The Boy Who Sneaks in My Bedroom Window (Kirsty Moseley), Night (Elie Wiesel), Pieces of Her (Karin Slaughter), The Fault in Our Stars (John Green), Inside Out (Demi Moore).

Friday was hard, but I'm slowly trying to get through it. ❤️❤️

And one of my favorite things to do, is to just spend lazy days with all my boys. Call me crazy or lazy if you want to, but there's just something about laid back, Netflix bingeing, day drinking, pup cuddling, D snuggling, kind of days that make me feel a little bit better.... even if it's only for a little while.

Today is my beautiful Momma's 55th birthday. ❤️

And per our tradition, even though she's in heaven, I felt the need to share my love for her and with her.

Losing my Momma this past January is by far the hardest thing that I've ever had to deal with in my life. The fact that I even say deal with seems wrong, because I'm not dealing with it.... not well at least. People tell me it gets easier as time goes on, but I feel like that's just one of those things that people who care about you say to try and make you feel better.

Because it's not easier. And it doesn't feel like it's getting any easier. It's just hard and sad and defeating.

Usually for Momma's birthday, her and I go out to eat, maybe do a little shopping, I make her a cake or some other dessert that she wants to try, and then we watch scary movies. It's the tradition that we've always had together for both of our birthdays, for as long as I can remember.

But now, I'm not sure what to do. I lived twenty-eight years doing the exact same thing on the exact same day(s) with the exact same person. My friend, my Momma, my love. And now that she's not here, it feels wrong to carry on those traditions without her, but it also feels wrong to not carry them on in memory of her.

To say it's been an emotional year would be an understatement and to say that I'm ok or know what to do with myself would be an outright lie. Because I don't know, and I don't know if I ever will.

At the very least though, I feel like I should continue to let the world know how wonderful of a person she is. How much I loved her and how much she loved me. Even though I'm not sure those words exist to make people fully comprehend.

However, no matter what, to me, this is her day. Always has been, always will be. And if she's out there looking over me or reading this, I just want her to know these very simple and truthful things:

Momma, I love you. So damn much. And I miss you every single day. There's not a moment that goes by that I don't think of you. There's not one thing in my life that happens that you're not immediately the first person I want to tell. I wish you were here. If someone told me that I could have you back, but I had to start completely over with absolutely nothing and do it all over again, I wouldn't hesitate. To me, that would be the greatest deal that I could ever make. I'm not sure what to do without you, and I'm failing miserably at trying. But, I am trying. Because through all of my faults and shortcomings, my Momma didn't raise a quitter. I hope you're proud and that you're happy and at peace where you are. I want you to not hurt anymore and to feel nothing but love, happiness, and hope. Just know that I love you and that no matter what, you have me. Just as I know, I always have you. Forever livin' on prayer and wherever you lead I will follow. I love you.... I could never say it enough and I still can't. Just please know that. Love forever and always, the Momma's girl that is me, -Pussycat.

"I am closest to my mother, as she is my rock, my pillar of strength, and my world. Not only has she stood by me through all times - happy, sad, and otherwise - but there have even been moments when I had completely lost hope, and her immense belief in me had lifted me up." -Amruta Khanvilkar

The things that I've taken away from Shameless after nine seasons.

Y'all, I finally finished all the seasons of Shameless that are currently available on Netflix (seasons 1 -9). I started in June 2018 and finished it the other day.... almost a year and a half, but good nonetheless.

-Lip will never date a normal/nice girl.... EVER.
-Fiona is not all that fantastic (cue the hate right now). She started out fantastic, but once she got guardianship over her siblings, it's like she lost all responsibility and forethought.
-Mickey is still a little thug angel and forever my favorite.
-Frank is without a doubt, a shitty human being.... but also brilliant, conniving, and hilarious.
-Carl is just the cutest little thing and his badassery is legendary.
-I don't care what people say, I love Jimmy-Steve and think he was the best when it came to Fiona.
-The Milkovich's (aside from Mickey) are the f*cking worst.
-Ugh, Debbie.
-Ian needs to stay on his meds and just accept the love that he and Mickey have.
-Liam has been through some shit.
-Monica's voice drives me insane and she's the worst.... but I also feel bad for her and her *spoiler* suicide attempt and eventual death was very sad.
-I miss Sheila and Jody.... but not Karen.
-Kev should be protected at all costs and is nothing but a big/goofy/loving teddy bear that loves V more than anything.
-V is hilarious and the badass that everyone should revere.
-F*ck Sammi.
-Oh, Svet. The most hilarious and honest Russian prostitute that ever lived.

We took all three of our pups to the vet at the same time.

And we made it back home with no casualties. #Survivor

This past Saturday was certainly eventful. I had called on friday to make an appointment to get all of our pups into the vet for their shots and to try and get something for fleas. Luckily, they were able to accomodate me very quickly and not only did they give me an appointment for the next day, but they were able to see them all at once, that way we didn't have to come back and forth or split them into different days.

And while it was hectic, to say the least, it was also awesome to get all of my babies taken care of at the same time.

We've had a real problem with fleas this year, and no matter how hard we try and how many baths they get, and no matter how much over the counter medicine we've given them, nothing has seemed to work. Fortunately, they gave all of our boys shots to help with their skin irritation and good meds to take care of the fleas.

My little Tayder has dermatitis. By good fortune, we caught it in time so that it didn't become a serious "problem", but they still gave me antibiotics for him, just in case. Which is helpful, since he also needed antibiotics for his little tooth.

All three of them are also on steroids for precautionary measures to help with their skin. (And all of their shots are up to date).

We took them home, gave all three baths, mediated them, cleaned (I clean basically every day, but we felt that another good cleaning couldn't hurt), and even took the rug out of our living room for good measure. They are all officially feeling much better and are sleeping better than they have in weeks. (Even though Spart is sick, but because he ate something that didn't agree with his belly.... hopefully he'll feel 100% much sooner).

And guess what? They're still the cutest pups in all the land. ❤

Fall off the bone tender and delicious.... let me eat them all.

D is a great cook. Well.... technically I "cook" and bake, but he's all about that grilling. Ever since he got his charcoal grill (my poor little electric grill finally met his maker), we've basically had all of our food cooked on that.

The other night he made some beef ribs (if I'm going to eat ribs, beef ribs are my favorite!) and they were so damn delectable that I'm pretty sure I could've eaten fourteen pounds of them. Sure, I would've puked later, but it probably would've been worth it. And I would have gained like ten pounds, but again, worth it.

I loved them so much that I actually got the rest (I accidentally bought the two slab when I picked them up at the store) out of the freezer while I was on lunch today, so hopefully I can talk him into making me some more of them (I can) tonight.

It's probably going to be kind of hard to eat them since I'm still pretty sore and am having trouble chewing, but he makes them so damn tender that it's most definitely worth a shot! (Oh, and I also picked up a few movies from the library today, so we'll have something to watch while I devour those delectable little morsels of meat.)

You're "getting a double" is not as much fun when you're at the dentist.

For as long as I remember I've always had trouble with my teeth. I never understood why, as I brush and floss regularly and try to take care of myself as best as I can. Even though I don't look great most of the time, I at least make sure that I'm showered, wash/brush my hair, brush my teeth, and wear deodorant.

You know, all the stuff your Momma teaches you from the time you're little until you're grown.

But, without fail, no matter what I do, my teeth give me trouble. I've had to have work done, teeth removed, I've been in pain.... way more than once.... and honestly, it's just exhausting. I was told by a couple of dentists (and my doctor) that the reason I have so much trouble with my teeth is because my body will not hold enough calcium to keep them healthy. Which is a bitch, considering the fact that I eat calcium enriched foods like there's no tomorrow, I take a multivitamin AND an extra calcium vitamin every day. It's borderline ridiculous and a giant pain in my ass.

I say this, so that I can bring up the fact that I had to take another trip to the dentist yesterday. Technically, I had an appointment last Thursday, but my dentist was called to an emergency, so they rescheduled me for yesterday.

I had to have my two front teeth fixed, because they had broken (one tooth had been cracked for awhile, but then Xur accidentally headbutted my face and it broke both of them a few weeks ago), and while I am 100% a hillbilly, I prefer not to look like a methbilly.

I hadn't had any pain with them, they were just bothersome to me, because they were directly in the front (my two top) and I didn't feel comfortable with laughing, smiling with my teeth showing, and I even tried to keep my head down/hand over my mouth while talking. It was annoying.

Apparently it was a good thing that I went when I did, because the dentist was amazed that I hadn't had any pain.... it was just a matter of time he said. I had an exposed nerve and both teeth were broken way far up into my gum line. He informed me that I had to have not one, but TWO root canals. I had never had a root canal, but had heard horror stories about them my entire life. I was immediately nervous.

But, my dentist is a nice man and he talked me through it all, answered all of my questions, and let me know that he could do it all that day. Which was good to me, because I was tired of having broken front teeth. My favorite part of it was when he asked if I had ever had a root canal and when I told him no, he said.... well, you're about to have a double. I informed him that it didn't sound as fun in the dentist as it did a bar and he just laughed and told me I was silly.

Almost four hours and $$$ I didn't really have later, I have front teeth again. It's painful and a little swollen, but they're there. The most awkward part is trying to eat. I have to take it easy when I chew and I'm not supposed to bite down on anything for awhile, so it's an adjustment. I'm taking ibuprofen like they're gonna quit making it to manage the pain, and they let me know that it will be much more comfortable in a few days.

Luckily, I'm fortunate enough to have an awesome boyfriend fiance that understands when I'm not feeling well and/or sick, and he knew that I was going to have trouble eating.... so he made me grilled shrimp and noodles for supper last night (and while it took me forever to eat it, it was delicious!).

So, here's hoping.... maybe I'll look better now. Doubtful, but maybe. At least I feel better about it.

It was Uncle Clyde's 74th Birthday today and he insisted on celebrating with cake and weapons.

Aunt Poot and I took a little road trip today (about an hour each way drive) to visit our Uncle Clyde and Aunt T (they're my great uncle/aunt). It was Uncle Clyde's 74th birthday today and he called Poot last week to see if we would come down to have cake and icecream and visit with him for it.

So, on we went to see how he was doing. Considering the health struggles he's currently facing, he was in great spirits and while tired, he can never be brought down. He even taught me how to properly throw a tomahawk and I hit the bullseye a few times.

It was a long drive and by extension a long day, but it was also fun and it's always nice to get to see family/friends that you don't get to very often. And with that being said, I say, goodnight!

What in the actual f*ck?!!?! People actually do things like this?!!?!

I've sold things here and there on FB Marketplace, because with the "Marketplace" aspect, it seemed easier and more convenient than Craigslist and I'm not really sure if anyone still reads the newspaper, so putting an "ad" in is a lot.

I haven't sold anything "big", just a couple of tables, a ceiling fan, and a couple window air conditioners. You know, just things that were taking up space in my shed/garage that I didn't really have a use for anymore.

With that being said, more recently I've decided to finally let Momma's car go. We had talked about it before she passed away and afterwards, I was just having a hard time letting it go. In all honesty, I don't know why since we hadn't driven it for a couple of years at that point (we already had Ricardo and I drove completely after her surgery), but there's just something about it. But, I just keep replaying Monna in my head and I know she would want me to try and do things to keep going.

So, I decided to put a listing up to sell it for parts (it needs body work, a little frame work on the backend, and a new battery, but the motor, transmission, etc. is still good), because I figured if I did that then I couldn't change my mind.

I've had a few offers and I've chosen a woman who works at a salvage yard to sell it to. That way, they haul it away (the battery is beyond dead) without charging an additional fee. But, before I sold it to her, I was contacted by a guy that was interested in trading the car for a home theatre system. Since I'm getting rid of the car to mostly get it out of the yard so we can extend our fence, that seemed fine with me. The only stipulation I had was that the guy needed to either set it up or show me how to set it up so I could make sure it worked and then it wouldn't be an issue. (And I of course would have D there, because I most certainly won't meet strangers like that by myself). I also don't just give out my address to strangers, because no. And that's when things got.... creepy.

I tried to ignore him the first time, because I assumed that it was a typo/autocorrect, because who talks to people that way? I didn't want to assume that he was a creeper, because that seemed like I might be jumping to conclusions and I hate doing that. Besides, even if it wasn't autocorrect, some people have no filter and say ridiculous things due to impulse control when they're nervous, right? I know that sounds naive, but I thought to myself, things like this don't actually happen to random people like me. You only hear about things like this from "important" people. People that other people know. Not me.

Then I got the other message and realized that he was in fact, a piece of sh*t.

To say I was taken aback and appalled would be an understatement. In all honesty, my first reaction was that I wanted to punch that dude in the face. I mean, who seriously treats people like this? I was seriously pissed off. I didn't really know how to react or how I should react, but the fact that I was pissed off was in the forefront.

I had talked to D about the trade and he had asked me to let him know what came of it. I took a screenshot of what they guy had said and he immediately called me. Of course, he was super pissed off too. And when I say pissed off, I mean it. He was so angry that I thought he was mad at me and the only thing I could think of was what the f*ck did I do?

When he got home that evening we talked about it and he let me know that he wasn't mad at me at all, he was mad at the fact that someone had treated me that way. I let him know that I was pretty pissed off that the guy had said what he said and he was obviously not a good person too. And that's when he looked at me and said, do you want to file sexual harassment charges? It caught me off guard, because I hadn't even thought of that. The only thing that I had thought about was he was a gross person and how pissed off I was. I didn't even make the sexual harassment connection.

And that's when it hit me, I got sexually harassed while selling something on FB Marketplace.

The thought of it made me sick at my stomach. Something like this has never happened to me before. At least, not that I remembered. Then again, I hadn't realized that's what this was and I wondered how many times this could have happened in my life and I just never made the connection. I felt angry, nauseous, and honestly.... dumb.

Dumb, because how could I not realize that's what this was? I'm not a genius by any means, but I certainly have enough common sense to get me by in life. And yet, it never occurred to me until it was said aloud. Then, I got even more pissed off. Who does this dude think he is? Why does he think it's ok to to talk to, not just me, but anyone like this? Asshole.

He even messaged D and let him know that he should be happy and I should be flattered, because he was giving me attention. ATTENTION?!!?! First off, no one asks for this kind of "attention." Secondly, is this how you justify being a garbage human? How do you assume that everything you say like this is welcomed or asked for just because you felt like it. How do you think this is flattering? Again, asshole.

I decided not to press charges. Not because I'm ok with what he had said or what happened, but after talking about it, it was just the decision I came to. I decided instead to report him to FB (something I also didn't know you could do) and block him. I thought at least if I "reported" him then they could stop him from contacting other people. And I hope they do.

Furthermore, I hope this douchebag stops being such a jerk and if he ever approaches someone else with this kind of situation, that they do get the opportunity to punch him in the mouth.